The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Almost Famous OGs: Summer of Love with Ashley Hebert

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Our OGs Bob Guiney and Trista Sutter connect with season 7 Bachelorette Ashley Hebert and get an honest update on her love life after being on the show! Ashley opens up about her divorce and the unbelievable amount of criticism she received from men on social media, who blame her for the break-up. Find out if she’ll get married in the future, and learn some difficult but necessary conversations to have with your kids if you and your partner are splitting up.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your... free IHeart Radio app, search emergency intercom, and listen now. Hi, it's Honey German, and I'm back with season two of my podcast. Grazias, come again. We got you when it

comes to the latest in music and entertainment with interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in like over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about all that's viral

and trending, with a little bit of chisement and a whole lot of laughs. And of course, the great Vibras you've come to expect. Listen to the new season of Dacius Come Again on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in.

That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special Bestie,

and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell.

And the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. This technology is already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is the almost famous podcast with IHartRadio. Hi, Bob.

How are you? Hi, Trista. I'm fantastic. How are you today? I'm doing okay, even though it's blizzard outside, but, you know, that's Colorado for you. Yeah, welcome to my world. Colorado, at least it's light and fluffy. snow like I think powder when I think of Colorado when I think of Michigan snow lately I think

of like an ice like black ice power outages well one thing to brighten our day is the fact that we both get to talk to Ashley today I'm so excited I'm excited too I can't wait to have her on talk about an OG we got some OGs in the house yes I'm excited I'm excited hi there you are hi beautiful. Trista, I kind of feel like you and I look alike a little bit. Like maybe it's the shape. Yeah. So seriously, I feel like when your bachelor and bachelorette came out, so many people wrote me saying that we were twins. Oh yeah, so many people. And I take it as a huge compliment, obviously, but yes, I've always thought we look alike. I feel like, yeah, it's like maybe the shape of our forehead, I don't know. And we're just teeny, just teeny.

This little pocket size. Pinet size people. I love it. How are you? They look tini's. We're great. How are you? I'm so excited.

So Bob doesn't know this, but I am going to Miami tomorrow, Bob, with Blakesley because we're having a Miami dancer alumni reunion. Oh my gosh. How awesome. I mean, I'm so freaking nervous because I'm going to be dancing on the court at halftime at the next game. Yes, I know, Ashley, I'm dying.

I'm dying. The weather is beautiful, too. It's like summer's coming. You can feel it. The sun's just piercing beautiful. Ashley, are you so excited to not be in New York right now, given the way the weather is hitting the east coast? I haven't been in New York for so many years.

Like, I feel like my childhood and my previous life is like a lifetime ago. Yeah. I mean, so it's like... God, I would never go back there. I mean, I would never, you know, something about Florida that's just so beautiful. And I think it's important for people to just find a place that makes them feel happy every day. Like I walk out, I wake up in the morning. I look outside.

There's so much beauty. There's so much, there's so much to be grateful for. And I feel like once you find a place where no matter what's going on in your life, you can feel that way about, it just brings me so much happiness. I know it's really important to me. I love that. It's very nice. I like hearing that too. That's very lovely.

Well, the reason I brought up the heat thing is because I might get to see Ashley in person. I know. So hopefully it works out. But if not, it's all good because I know that's busy. Your schedule. Yours two. You know, we're just busy. Yes.

Like nonstop soccer and dance and basketball. Are those the things? Soccer and basketball for. 40 and Essie's a dancer, acro. Yes. Tell us. Tell us all the things about the kiddos. Okay, so, well, you know, Ford is very athletic.

So Ford is a lot of things. He's very athletic. He likes to move around. He's very physical. He's tried every sport. So he's really great at every sport. I have to say. Amazing.

But, and this is probably personality. When he gets a little too. tense for him, like to be demanding, that's when he pulls back and he wants to try something else. It's very interesting. It's very interesting. Intense, like competitive or intense, like, yeah, okay, got it. Commitment, right?

So he made, like, a competitive soccer league, like he tried out, and he made it. But the practices were, like, three times a week. And then there were games every weekend, sometimes both days. It was too much. The kid just wanted a break. He's like, I just want to go home. I don't want to go. That's a lot for a young kid, you know?

It really is. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And I feel like we run, sometimes we, well, maybe I'm not, I'll speak for myself. Sometimes I feel like we have to fill our kids' schedules with so many things to make us feel like we're amazing parents for doing all these things for them and doing our best with us, but also I think the kids need a freaking break. Yeah, true story. You know, we're going through that right now. We have a four-year-old and a one-and-a-half-year-old. And our four-year-old, like, every day, my wife, like, loves to have, like, activities every day.

And the other day, I was like, I think he just wants to, like, sit down and watch Bluey for, like, an hour. You know, and we never let them watch a bunch of TV. But I'm like, let's just chill today. Like, let's do nothing. Because I think you're right. I think sometimes it's just like, I mean, I know for a fact growing up, I was bored a lot. And there was nothing wrong with that. You know, it was okay to not have anything.

to do basically. Yes. Yeah. Well, I feel like as they get older too, like their schedules will just get worse and worse and more busy and more busy. I mean, I've said this multiple times. I feel like even on the podcast, when my kids were newborns, I felt like I couldn't be any more busy because I was feeding them two hours and la la. And now, oh, it beats newborn stage. It beats all the stages. is it's just once they find what they love, which is a fun process of figuring out what they love, but finding out what they love and what they're okay being committed to and then committing to that, like, oh gosh, it is, it is crazy town.

It is really, yeah, it's intense. So those moments of relaxation and just chilling out, zoning out, give the phone to them, give the iPad, give the TV, I'm all for that. Yeah. At the end of the day, like when we're finished out, When I go home, I want to be brainless for a little while. Totally. Once they get home from school,

and they always do an activity every school at their school. When they get home, I don't demand that they do their homework right away, get all their reading done, get all that done. Allow them at least an hour and a half, sometimes two hours to breathe. Decompress. Yeah. In their brain to make decisions about what they want to do in these moments. Like, these kids are so regimented and, like, you tell me, you have to go here and then you've got to move here and you're going to move there.

Like, I think it's so beautiful for kids to just have freedom and to explore their own decisions and make their mistakes and all, like, anyway, whatever. I could talk for her. Yeah. I love it, though. Agreed. Tell us about Essie. What's she into these days? I know she's your little mini-me. Hold on.

I love my son. He's my first. I know you do. I know. I love him. He's also a little pain in the butt sometimes, but I love him. Aren't they all? Aren't they all?

My daughter. I love her more. I'm not saying that. I'm saying there's something so unique about that. For me, that like mother bond, I see so much of myself and her. When she either responds a specific way or she has a certain emotion, I can feel it because I'm like, that's how I would feel. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I feel like I understand her and can connect to her. And I feel like she's just kind of a mini-me, and I love her. She is a mini-mee. She is, for sure. I loved the little dancing video that you guys did side-by-side. I think I was watching it with someone, and whoever was watching it with me was like, you should have done that with Blake'sley, like, growing up. I just, I don't know.

I just don't have time, and it's fun, but I just never did it. You need to continue to do that because it's really. cute to see you know and you know because you dance like I just find that she's starting to show in I never wanted to push it on her yeah but I wanted her to kind of like come into her own and she explored soccer and you know um gymnastics but she's she likes dance and I'm very excited I mean Miami is such a great place for her because oh my God there are so many studios so many studios you are dialed in in Miami if she wants to dance. That's so exciting as a dance mom myself. Yes. I know you guys are a pair of dance moms. I love that. We are. I love it. I just and we're

boy first, girl second, you know, so many, you know, so many things. We look alike. We love our daughters. No, I love my son. Actually, you know what's really funny. I remember, this is several years ago, because one of the kids, I'm assuming it was Essie, was still, I think it was still in diapers. And there was this video that you put on, like a video you put on Instagram. I sound like I'm even older than I really am. It was like a real that you made. And I'll never forget it, but you like you made up some song. And I think it might have been JP at the time caught you singing this song. Oh my gosh. It was so adorable. And it just, it just flashed in your head. And I remember like catching myself since.

singing that song that you basically wrote that day on your Instagram. Like, I'm like, you know, I can't remember what it is. And I'm going to look it up later and I'm going to find that. I'm going to text it to you because I remember thinking how cute it was. And I was like, oh my God, I do that all the time. I'm always like making up songs to, you know, keep my kids kind of engaged. And I remember seeing that and I was like, and it was at the time, and I thought of this the second I found out we were going to get to interview you.

I remember thinking, I'm like, that's what makes Ashley so relatable and why people love you so much. It's because you would post these things of you just being yourself and, you know, you didn't care if you, I mean, you looked, obviously, you looked gorgeous at the time, but you didn't care if you had makeup on or whatever. It's like, you know, and a lot of people don't do that, right? A lot of people, I think, are, you know, basically have a professional film crew following him around 24-7. And I just loved it. And I remember my wife and I'm talking about it. That's true. I remember my wife and I talk about it. I was like, that is awesome. We would be such great friends with Ashley if we live near us. Oh, you're awesome. I love it. Yeah, I try to be cool and normal.

Yeah, that's all we can do. do they do they know about the show the kids yeah yeah they do actually there's a really funny video of my daughter because about a year ago i think they figured it out a year ago i would say and they're how old right now so he forward is eight and essay six okay they've always known but i just don't think they've never watched this show so they don't understand the complexity to me. They don't understand that maybe people recognize them, you know, at school or some of the teachers might, like, you know, be a, you know, like, they like, girl.

Yeah. Uh-huh. As you, like, filmed herself on my phone when she's, like, she's sitting there and she goes, I'm going to reenact because it was just too, she's like, you know, she was recording herself, like as if she was a YouTuber. Okay. So she's, oh, everybody knows us. and I don't know if we're famous or rich

I don't know which I don't know which they don't care they don't know they don't care they don't know they don't care they're too young you know like maybe when they're teenagers they'll think it's cool but they're too young yeah if it's on the air and it's like got a you know a resurgence of ratings maybe they will but right now yeah

you know actually and trista's heard me say this story many other times but i love it so we're doing something together and um here's why we know that they won't think it's cool when they're teenagers trista's like max oh i want you to meet my ex-boyfriend bob and he goes what's up nothing no oh yeah he's just like oh he didn't thought okay okay whatever it's just why i walked away and i'm like Hey, good to see you, man. They go through that phase of like they're too cool. So maybe they won't care. For sure.

I mean, you never know. I can't say, of course, you know, they won't care. But I just feel like it is exciting for, you know, every so often if one of their friends recognizes or one of their friends' parents recognizes, then they're, you know, kind of get a little ego boost. And they're like, oh, I'm cool. My parents are cool. And then it just goes away.

and it becomes, like, cringy, you know? That's going to be in a huge. Exactly. Just being always. I just feel living in Miami, the Bachelor, Bachelorette world, it's so not in my life. Like, I guess like living in L.A. or living in New York where people watch it in Miami. I don't know if I'm just making a generalization. Like, nobody knows me here.

I walk around. I mean, I look a little different, but I walk around, like, I never get recognized. Really? really do you get recognized when you travel yeah more yeah if i'm at an airport or if i'm in a different city on vacation like people were recognizing but miami i think it's maybe just a different culture they're not they don't really yeah that's true it's a theory i have i feel like the midwest is a big hub like texas um i don't know about michigan bob you can speak to that but um i feel like and i went back to St. Louis got recognized a couple of times. Like, I feel like Texas is a big

hub Midwest. Way recognizable, right? The first, everybody watched it. Everybody knew you. Like, everyone was, I don't know, I just feel like you're way more recognizable. The godmother of the godmother and the grandfather. Thank you for not saying grand. I always say you're the godmother and I'm the grandfather of the franchise. Yeah, Michigan, I think, I think because Michigan's my, you know, my home state. I filmed all the stuff here and all that kind of stuff. I think that's why probably Michigan for me is a lot. But I got a lot in Seattle, too, but you know what's really weird is you're right.

In Florida, unless I'm at the airport, I can say honestly, and I was just in Orlando for the better part of a week, I pretty much moved through that place, you know, with great anonymity. It was nice. Yeah, yeah, totally. Hi, my name is Enya Emanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD...

Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. The U.S. Open is here. And on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain, I'm breaking down the players from rising stars to legends chasing history, the predictions, well, we see a first time winner, and the pressure.

Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, you know. Plus, the stories and events off the court and, of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experiential sporting event. I mean, listen, their whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive. For all tennis fans, whether you play tennis or not? Tennis is full of compelling stories of late. Have you heard about Icon Venus Williams' recent wild card bids? Or the young Canadian, Victoria Mboko, making a name for herself?

How about Naomi Osaka getting back to form? To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an Iheart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers, the pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone to land this plane. Think you could do it?

It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this, do this, pull that, turn this. It's just, I can do my eyes close. I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devon. And on our new show, no something. such thing, we get to the bottom of questions like these.

Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing. Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get

your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say hello Ed. Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015. A 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house.

So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Do you still watch the show, Ashley? Bachelor, Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, any of it?

So, first off, Bachelor in Paradise, this last season was so good. I love it. I know, right? I know, same. I'm watching, okay, so I have, you know, obviously, J.P. and I are divorced. So we share custody 50-50%. So every other Monday when I don't have the kids, I watch it. But if I have them, I'm usually, like, packing lunches.

You don't have the Bachelor in Paradise in the background? Excuse me, kids. Excuse me, kids. I need to listen to this. I was very dedicated to Bachelor in Paradise. I would record it. With Bachelor, I'm kind of like every other week I'll get up on it. Don't ask me because I know nobody is me.

Same, same. Nope. You guys are both, I'm sure, way better watchers than I am. Because I literally go on these little things where we do the I heart. stuff and I'm like hi what's your name oh I'm Clayton I was just the bachelor I'm me oh I always feel terrible I'm like oh sorry really nice guy but yeah we were curious about that because I mean so you mentioned about you and JP so you know it's kind of interesting because I was curious like I had a quite I was wondering

do you guys both live in Miami area then or did he because I remember I wasn't sure what the timing of things you know kind of was on that So we moved to Miami from New York together, right when I was in my son, or our son. And we lived here for, what, six years? And then we lived together, obviously. And then we divorced. But we both stayed in Miami. We just live in different parts of Miami, but we're only 10 weeks away.

So it's very easy. And, you know, it's been actually pretty seamless in terms of, like, logistics. Like, we're both very dedicated to that. and bringing them to all their games and practices. Yeah. You better have a good relationship if you're going to do all that together. It's hard. It's hard. I have a friend going through it right now. And if you don't have a co-parent who's as dedicated as you are, it is not easy.

And they just dump all that responsibility on you or whatever. So, you know, it was kind of interesting because when I got married after The Bachelor, of course, but not to anyone from the show. And we were both in the public eye. and when we split up, it was so hard. And I remember thinking, you know, if I wasn't the pastor guy, they wouldn't care, right? And then to be in the situation that you guys were in, which was the couple that was formed on the show to go through that divorce, that had to be so much pressure, I would imagine from, you know, the outside looking in was it had to be, other than I know it was difficult just in and of itself.

I know you guys truly loved and cared about each other so much. I know how hard that can be, but that had to be a lot to navigate. Yeah, I think there were a lot of different layers to it, right? So being in the public eye, certainly, it didn't keep us together, didn't tear us apart. I think that it put pressure on us to really, like, first off, stay private about everything. Like we were never about anything until we were certain. Then I think it does, in a way, put a little more pressure on you to like try, try, try as much as you can. right i don't i mean i don't know if that's the right answer but that's and i don't know if jp

feels that way but i certainly felt like man i want to make sure that we're making the right decision for my kids and then also i do subconsciously there's a part of it's like i'm gonna let down and i'm kind of like a people pleaser like i look to people right that that's that i could talk a whole hour about um but when you're a people pleaser you you think more about how it'll affect other people versus yourself, right? Yeah. So I spent many years thinking that, you know, like to the decision when really it shouldn't.

Like the only people that should matter are your family, your kids and your skills. So yeah, certainly that was challenging, but I have to say the most surprising thing, I could talk about divorce so much because I have to tell you guys when we separate and we went public, the amount of hate.

I got on my social media from women was mind-blowing. Like the messages, I mean, I could go back and probably look. Yeah. That's something that really was like, wow, nothing happened. We didn't cheat. There was no infidelity. We, I truly feel like we handled our divorce the best that we could. And probably that anyone could.

Like, we really put the kids first. We made decisions based on the kids. What we felt was their well-being. We treat each, treat each other fairly, I felt. So it was really hard to read all those messages. I remember asking JP, like, hey, do you get, I remember texting, hey, I'm getting messages from people. Do you get anything? He's like, nope.

Really interesting to me. For real? Wait a second. So all the hate was going to you. Like, everyone thought. Separated your family. It was like I was the, I was the. one that did, you know, and nobody...

Do you think it's because you're a mom? And that's why, like, people put this onus on the mom to, like, make sure your kids are first. Do you think that's why, like, looking back? I'm really not sure if I'm being honest. You know, I have a theory. I actually do, because I went through it, too. And I think you go through it because, you know, you're on this show that basically you had. And, I mean, people would say this to me. And I remember thinking to myself, oh, my God, if they only knew how the stuff works. But you had 30 guys that she was from and you still couldn't make it work. And I think that when I, when Estella and I didn't work out, so I can only imagine for you

actually. But then when my wife and I split up at the time, my ex-wife and I split up, I remember people were like, you know, oh, they just did it for the fame. They did. It's like, uh, there's a lot to go through to try and get, you know, Instagram was even around when I was like, I'm like, oh, when I tried to get like, uh, my space followers, what was I doing this for? you know yeah but i i remember thinking to myself god it's so pointed like and it was all about the fact that you know you were this person who had this choice to make and you still mess it up how is that possible you know absolutely and actually never thought of it but i feel like that that's a that's a really good theory but it's funny because i always joke around with people like my kids

took my our divorce much better than half of america like my handle the divorce with such grace and they still and understand appreciation and maturity my daughter was four wait my daughter was four four it was actually maybe she was she was four and I think he was about to be six I'm trying to think

or maybe five but he when you know when I when we sat in the kitchen and Jake was like I can't do it you have to do it really this was before it was happening or during was this was right when we had made the decision we're coming open yeah i'll never we're sitting in the kitchen and jp's sitting at the sink and i'm sitting here and ford's there and essie's there sys young so i don't know how much you understood at the time yeah never forget we explained it you know

like we consulted with a child psychologist to see how the best way to present the information is right appropriately for their age right so when we um we explained to him in kids terms you know like how people you know when they love each other and what you do you know marriage and and then when you know like things don't work out and you're not being nice kind to each other anymore you know whatever we explained it and that what that's what was happening with us that we weren't making each other happy anymore we weren't being as kind as we wanted to be our relationship you know we're just talking about that and you know what he said he said I understand and I'm okay with it.

And I said, I told it. So I said it again. And I said it again. And he said, no, mom, I get it. I'm okay with it. Wow. You know, it was really.

That's a lot of emotional intelligence for a little kid. You know what I mean? Yes. It was. And they still have been super well adjusted, super, you know, and I think we try to sometimes protect kids from the world. Yeah.

But I know everybody, divorce is happening. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. We don't have to force people to be in a place that's not, you know, working for them anymore. If you're kids in a relationship that's not, you know, like just working for everybody. And I think if you handle it well and you present it well, yeah,

more kids not only will they understand and accept, but they will flourish. Like I've seen my kids flourish. I don't know. It's just. I love that. You and JP are, yeah, you guys are both such kind and good people. It's like, it sounds like if it has to happen, I mean, you know, the way you handled it,

I mean, it probably couldn't have been handled any better, I'm sure. Yeah, I mean, we're not perfect, but I feel like we really did a pretty good job. Yeah, it seems like it. So do you feel like Ford was able to process it because he saw the way you guys were treating each other? So that's what everybody, you know, if I ever tell that story,

that's pretty much what they observed. And kids are very smart, so maybe the answer is yes. But one thing about JP and I is like we're not fighters. Like we're not behind closed doors. We just would have conversations. And we would be tense,

but we were never like. Meen. Yeah. No, I totally get that. I mentioned too. So there's a possibility that that, you know, that you're right about that.

Maybe he sensed it. Yeah, because I feel like when Ryan and I argue, we're not fighters either, like, especially in front of the kids, if we're going to have a conversation and we know it's going to be, you know, it's going to get heated a little bit, then we'll make sure we're private in a bathroom with the door closed and the fan on or something, you know. But I feel like any time I wear it on my face, like you can see if I'm upset on my face. like blakesley especially is very part of me in tune with that and she'll be like mom are you okay mom what's right like mom are you okay um yeah yeah i get it i think they can sense that you're

right like kids just sense what's going on so maybe he understood that i remember when my my parents got divorced and they sat me down and you know same thing you know we're it's just it's better for everybody involved and I think you're right like divorce happens and and you can still live a happy life after divorce and obviously it was an incredible thing that you and jp met on the show and were able to have you know these two beautiful kids and and they have a super happy life it seems like so you know i am all i am always of the belief that everything happens for a reason and i don't know if you feel that way but I you know like I don't know it's not failure people are like oh it's a failure and oh how you master success stories yeah well success does not mean you're still together

like that's what we get out of our heads because success story is spending time with someone that brings out the best in you somebody that teaches you things about life somebody that you know creates another life with you like that's success so I true story yeah yeah you're You're a success for, yeah, I was going to say, you're a success already for Ferdinassi. You know, it's like that in and of itself, those two beautiful kids who are just having a blast and, you know, enjoying their life and at the beach while my kids are fighting off an ice storm, you know. My kids, I think, would feel like much more successful if they were hanging out in Miami right now. I'm so many, everybody else is. Not as well, right?

Yeah. But so much has happened to you recently, too. Now you obviously move to Miami, but then you start your own business, you start your own practice and go next level there too. So that's got to be exciting. Very exciting. So that has been, so I, yeah, so I worked as a pediatric dentist here in Miami for almost seven years at an office.

And then I decided to open up my own office. And it has been, first off, such a blessing. The greatest blessing of my life. Really? Besides the kids, obviously. But, yes. Right. Like it's more like personally, right?

Yeah, got it. But just such a great blessing. It's taught me so much. Being a business owner is very challenging. And there's a lot more, you know, it's very stressful because I'm a perfectionist. So I like everything to be perfect, everything to be running a specific way, everything. Like, I'm very hands-on. I'm very hands-on of perfectionist.

Yeah. So that's been the most. challenging part is just being able to control my um obsession with perfection i hear that but it's been i mean it's been a blessing i'm so happy that i first off i'm happy that i was able to open up my own office because not everybody is able to um so so yeah it's been great it's been awesome question you can always text me call me whatever here's oh my gosh actually i do i mean seriously I don't know. Okay, what is the one tip to get your kids to brush their teeth?

Motivation is very hard, right? I think that's the most challenging thing. So first off, for kids, for people that have little kids, is to split them off early and be very consistent with the brushing in their routine. Good tip. Especially, Trista, your kids' ages, it's more challenging. but I think it's all about, first off, reminding them, making access to the supplies easy and all about routine.

It's all about routine. Like, kids love routine. I don't know if your kids do specific things every night. Mine do in a specific order and brushing them there. So as we can, as they get older, I'm just going to continue that. Sure, things can change. The order can change. But for my kids, it's a non-negotiable.

Like, it's a non-negotiable. They have to brush. They have to floss a few times a week, like at 9 time. Absolutely morning and night. Like, I'm kind of crazy about that. It's like taking a shower. Yeah. I think enforcing it, reminding, making access easy and trying to be really consistent and regimented with them.

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I have a specific one. So I have a four-year-old who I got him pretty good with the brushing. I used the little Paw Patrol, the little Paw Patrol battery operating toothbrush. He, but is it too early to floss? I mean, it's never too early to floss, right? I can't get him to do the floss so I do the little tooth picky thingies. Yeah. Is that okay?

So let me tell you. So usually kids under the age of four, all of their teeth are spaced out. There's a space in between all their teeth where the toothbrush reaches. in there. So honestly, technically you don't have to at that point. But at the age of four, the back two molars in all four corners of their mouth, they start to touch. That's just developmentally the adult either pushing in, pushing forward, so they push them together. As soon as they're touching, you need to floss in there. So check. It's the back four. If anything's touching in the front, I would floss in there too. I love the little floss sticks, but you have to do it

for them because at four they just don't have that dexterity they can probably do the yeah you really do need to do that and what i recommend doing is dipping your flosser in toothpaste and flossing the toothpaste in between because toothpaste has something that's antibacterial it helps to strengthen in between your teeth and believe it or not that's where kids in my experience especially like six seven eight years old get cavities it's in between those baby molars yes i love that tip thank you i have never heard that before love it we're doing we're going crazy we're helping people we're helping people one tooth at a time here what else do you need guys anything I love it okay well what I want to know is tell

me about the new love tell me about is it Yanni or is that how you pronounce his name yeah so I knew it's just that you were just waiting you're like I'm just waiting I'm just I'm just going to scoop in there okay this is a fun I love you know I need to know I need to know okay so I love this story because it's so funny okay I get divorced it's a year after JP a year and a few months after JP and I separate okay okay it's my birthday my friend plans a dinner for me okay he's looking to make a reservation she knows this guy from from the hospital he's a pharmaceutical rep so she knows him because he's also kind of like a food influencer on the side so she's kind of a big time

he is he's very dedicated to that so anyway so she's like hey let me see if he i can get he can help me get a reservation or give recommendations so they are talking and whatever he helps or get a reservation or something. As a thank you, like, hey, thanks for helping me. Why don't you drop by at the dinner? It's me and like nine girls. Yes. She's like, she's showing me the guy and I don't even think.

Because I look at him and I'm like, oh, like, it doesn't seem like physically my type. I was not even thinking there. I wasn't in that mindset at all. Like at all. Yeah. She was talking about hooking up with like, hooking him up maybe with one of our other friends who's single like we're just like whatever so we're sitting at the table the night's almost over and then I see this very handsome tall beautiful man walking I swear it was like slow motion like I've

never had oh you just gave me chills I love it that's not the guy that's not the guy and he sits down and I'm like and I look at my friend like why was I not in the running you know I knew I'm divorced but like I don't get why you didn't even think of actually oh Ashley no he's not your type like no no no she's just like I never would think of you with him like I never would so whatever the night goes on we finish dinner we go to the bar most of the girls leave there's five girls that stick around four or five and we're all at the bar talking drinking, and we start, you know, like, maybe I was being a little bit of a flirt. I don't know.

And then the rest of history, we have been together for like, I guess April will be two years. So that's amazing. Wow. I'm looking at his post right now of like this incredible seafood ensemble. And I'm like, I'm not to eat lunch today. And I'm super hungry right now. I've never met someone that's so dedicated to something like that. Like last night he was over,

he was posting from like 7.30 until one in the morning. What? Yes. Just like it's a lot of work. Like people think, oh, it's fine. Yeah, it is. Yeah. It's fine.

But it's also a lot of work. And he's so, so dedicated to me. Oh, I love that. Yeah, he's not. He's got three million followers. That doesn't happen by accident, you know? No. Yeah.

And they're all authentic. Like, he builds it from one, one follower. Oh, that's amazing. He's, like, authentically grew that account himself by hand from one follower. So I think that's. Ah, that's awesome. That's awesome. So.

I got to have a long at all the restaurants and all the trips. That's amazing. I mean, the trips, the trips, like, holy cow. A couple Italy trips here and there, right? Got, got to go. It's part of the job. I remember Greece. Yes.

He has to do it. Yeah. Someone has to do it and someone has to go along. I'll be your plus one. I'll be sitting like by the pool, eating my, you know, guacamole and chip having a margaria. And he's like, you're like, ha-ha. Perfect.

That's the life. That's a life. But it's so fun. I really, it's been such a wonderful two years. And I can talk a lot. I could talk. I won't for you guys. with this but about like dating after marriage is so interesting because you're going into a

relationship with a completely different perspective on like what you're right because when you're young you're like want to get married and want to have kids oh what is you're going to propose going into a relationship without those types of expectations is such incredible because you really get to enjoy the moments and accept people who they are and the speed that they want to work at And it's like, it's so wonderful. It's really cool. It's really cool. Was he married before?

He was, actually. For one year or around one year. And is his wife still like, are they, um, they don't have kids, right? He doesn't have any kids. Can I be honest, I know nothing about her. Like, I don't even know her name. Yeah. You don't know her name?

I don't know anything about her. Because he's never told you or because you just don't remember. I'm just like, I don't know. Oh my gosh, that's crazy. When you get divorced without kids, I mean, I can speak to this because I've done it. Other than if you are going to be moving in the same circles. My ex-wife and I are still very friendly because we have moved in a lot of the same circles. But it's like there really isn't a reason to stay connected to that person other than, you know what I mean?

With kids, there's definitely a reason. But when you don't have children, it's like if you choose to, that's great. But, you know, she's a breakup, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. She's not like, I don't know.

I honestly don't know. I've never even, we've talked about it briefly, but like, I don't know. I don't even know her name like that. That's crazy. Let me text. You don't need to. Let me text him. What's your next to name?

I think that says a lot. I think that says a lot about the confidence you have in your relationship. Yes. You're not the type of person to be like, well, I need to know, who's texting you? It's like, that's why he could text them and it's no big deal. You'd be like, oh. You guys are really funny story, though, on that topic because I am very confident. Like, that's one thing about him is he makes me feel like he's not, this is real.

I don't know how I explain it. He's the type of guy. He's not very woman focused. Like, I feel like he doesn't go out and like look for women. Yeah. Kind of to himself. And like, I once was at an event with him and I saw this girl like kind of like looking at him, going up to him talking to him.

And he just, he doesn't even like. It was over his head. But it's really funny. So I've always felt very confident. But when we first started dating, he was on his phone all the time in the middle of the night. Because he was doing the foodie stuff. Yes. And I'm like, I did have questions at that time.

Like, why are, is three in the morning and you're on like, I woke up and he's on his phone, like kind of turned it. And I'm like, like, is there something you need to tell me? He's like, no, I just don't have the light in your eyes because I'm, I'm posting, you know, and I'm still really sad because I would, like, think something was going on all the time. You'd be like, no, I'm just posting. I'm like, hey, sorry. But I was funny because he's on his phone all the time. So I was thinking, like, maybe something, but not. Right.

So because both of you have been divorced, have you thought about what are your thoughts on marriage in the future? Okay, so when I first got divorced, I was like, no way, I'll never get married again because I don't have to. Really? Yeah, totally. I really didn't feel like it didn't make sense for me. I think with having kids already and like having a business and like maybe more assets, like I felt like it was going to be complicated. Okay, but so I was very like, oh, I'll never get married again. No way. I have girl power, single forever, whatever.

In a relationship, and people didn't agree with me. But I understand because I think people when they're in a relationship, they want that commitment. It's not so much about marriage, but they want that level of commitment. So for me, I don't want to get married. As long as we're both at the same level of commitment, for now, I think I'm very happy with, as long as we stay committed and, you know, things are going well. I don't believe that that'll ever change. But, yeah. You never know.

I mean, I don't know. You're not opposed to it, which is nice. and you're open to the relationship element, which is the most important part. She's opposed to it. Look at that face. I'm not weird about marriage. I feel like it's weird that like the dad walks the woman down the aisle and then he gives the woman to the man. It feels uncomfortable. The convention of it. Yeah.

That's my personal opinion. I don't need a man panning like going from one man to another man. Like, I'm all set. That's cool. I like that. I'm all set. I'm all set. I'm all set. I respect. to everybody's beliefs and culture and tradition it just is probably not for me. Yeah, I hear that.

So would you, well, I guess it doesn't even matter. I'm not even going to ask it. But I feel like when I got married, the tradition part was really important to me. And you're right. Like after we got married, I still have this regret

that I didn't involve my mom as much because of the tradition. So like, you know, know, like you said, it's tradition for the dad to walk the bride down the aisle. And I had my dad do that. And then I had my dad gave like the speech at the reception. And my mom and I, I mean, my parents divorced in fifth grade. So I lived with my mom. So I saw my dad like every other weekend. But I mean, I was really being raised by my mom, you know, just because we live together. And I really, it's a big regret of mine to not have involved my mom as much.

So I get that. I totally understand. Every time I got married, I did it better and better. It's like my last one. Every time I got married. I got to do it every show, Trista. No, I was going to say, I don't know your history. So you were married, divorced, remarried?

So here's my history in a nutshell. Everything comes back to Trista, basically. okay let me hear this this is good when she kicked me to the curb no so I um so I actually so I was a well 23 year old touring music I signed a record deal right on college and I did the cliche cliche thing where you marry a model okay and we were married and divorced within a year because I went on tour with matchbox 20 is the opener and I basically by the time I came home I realized I really wasn't married anymore so that was awesome and then uh and then a few years years later, I end up on Trista's season, right? And then she, you know, she rolled the dice with this

Ryan character. And thankfully, you know, because of me endorsing him, they worked out. I actually really did, though. I think it's one of my favorite memories of talking to Trista about how much I loved Ryan, but while I was still on the show, P.S. And then, you know, but it was one of those things where, you know, that was just such an awesome couple. And then I got married after being on the show. And that one lasted, it's like six years. And then we split up. And now I've been married ever since.

So, yeah. So technically, I should have gotten an annulment probably the first time. But I was too busy traveling around and doing, you know. Rocks, a day on the history. Yeah. So anyway, but I will say to my point, the reason why I even brought that up was my, my wife and I got married in 2016. And we got it right.

You know, like our moms were our flower girls. Oh, that's so cute. Aw. Yeah. My sister was the matron of honor. My brother-in-law was our reverend, you know. That's really cool. So it was like we really kind of invested in those things.

Yeah. Yeah. That's why it lasted. Yeah. So far. Practice enough. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding

I love you and Jess you guys are just fine Thank you You're all set As Ashley says You're all set I'm all set I'm all set

I'm good Well Ashley We have loved having you hear Me especially Love you so much I just feel like Whenever we get together I just

I connect with you So much Any time Yeah absolutely We love you, Ashley. Adore you. Thank you so much for coming. I know you about you, Trista.

I feel really connected to you. I always have. Thanks for coming. Hopefully I get to see you in a couple days. I know your schedule so we can go on me. I will. I will. Bye, Ashley.

Thank you. Bye. She is so sweet. She's the best. Love her. Like definitely one of my favorite. I hate that question. Like,

who are your favorite Bachelor Nation people? Because I feel like they're all children, you know? You can't pick a favorite. Sure. But she's definitely one of my favorites. I mean, one of my favorite memories, we did this thing in New York for Wii TV, Bridezilla's. They used to have a show called Bridezillas, and it was me. Oh, I remember that.

Yeah. Me and her and Des and Deanna. And I will never forget. We were at this bar, and they started playing like a Bruno Mars song, Finesse. And we were just in the, it seemed like it was like a pub. It wasn't like a club. It was like a pub. And we were just like, we're just going to get out there and dance.

And one of my favorite memories. Well, especially like the two of you being so, like such good dancers. I can only imagine. You probably had some routines in common. You could throw out there in the dance club. Oh, the thing is, I don't remember stuff. Like, I literally started learning these routines for this weekend two days ago. Oh, yeah.

And I, Bob, I'm so old. I go to bed, like so sort, like rickety. like my neck is killing me. I'm excited. I don't know how I'm going to do it. Oh boy. Blake'sley will probably take a video. I'm sure.

Blake'sley will be there with me. She's going to be so proud of you. She's going to be so excited. Oh, I don't know, because she came to, like, the dance studio that I'm rehearsing at. And she was laughing at me. I'm like, Blakely, Grace. You cannot laugh at your mother.

You're like, back in the day, I could do this move. But right now I'm going to take the slower row. Like when I do exercises at home and they're, Like, for those of you who can't keep up, you know, I'm like, that's me, because I cannot keep up. What do I need to do? Totally. All right. Thanks, Bob.

Thanks, everybody. Good to chat. Have a great one, everybody. See you later. Hi. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

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