The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Almost Good Advice Part III

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

Ben and Ashley are here to answer your questions and share some (almost) good advice!Find out how to bounce back after losing your job and how to tell your husband you HATE his beard!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh, my God, perfect.

And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Hi, it's Honey German and I'm back with season two of my podcast. Graziez, come again. We got you when it comes to the latest in music and entertainment

with interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in like over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about all that's viral and trending.

with a little bit of cheesement and a whole lot of laughs. And, of course, the great Vibras you've come to expect. Listen to the new season of Dresses Come Again on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell.

And the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. This technology's already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Almost Good Advice with Ben Higgins and Ashley Iaconetti. Almost Famous Listeners.

We're back for another week of our new segment on the Almost Famous Podcast. Week one went so well. Thank you for listening. if you haven't listened yet, they're Evergreen, so you can go back and listen again. It's a massive hit, and we're hoping it would because we love doing this. So we're here for week two of almost good advice. Now, we'll start with a question from Alexis. Here, I'll just read it.

It's a little long. It is a little long, but okay, I'm listening. Alexis says I've listened to the podcast for years, and it's the best. Thank you, Alexis. Thank you. So, here's the question. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly six years, and he's older, and he has one older sister. She's two and a half years older than him, making her six and a half years older than me.

They are never particularly close, sister-brother dynamic, and their family unit is not as close and chatty and loud as my family. His parents are a bit reserved. Ever since dating him, I have longed for a close relationship with his sister. choice loves being with her married side of the family, i.e. the other sister-in-laws, it makes me feel left out. My boyfriend has brought me up to his sister that I do want to create a relationship with her. And she kind of said she really isn't that close with her sister-in-laws, and they do their own thing. Obviously, engagement in marriage is on mind slash horizon and I feel it would be so bad not to involve her in a wedding party, but I believe it would

be awkward if I had her at all. And since I don't have a relationship with her, it would be awkward. I just wouldn't feel comfortable involving her. The question is how do I create a relationship with a significant other sister after not having one for years, especially if an engagement is around the corner that really sets the tone with them moving. forward. Hmm. Well, how do you become close to somebody who doesn't seem interested in being close to you? I don't know.

Ben, this is, again, why it's almost good advice, because there's some things that I just can't, I don't. So I can tell you what I think about the whole wedding party. I think you can ask her to be part of the wedding party. Even that she said she wouldn't feel comfortable at all involving her. Okay, so here's the deal. You can have her in the wedding party, but you don't have to invite her to like the bachelorette. She doesn't even have to be in your room.

I don't know. She probably doesn't even want to be part of your wedding party. But like I want you to, I don't know. I want you to be close to your sister-in-law, but you, but after so many years, six years,

you may not, it may not happen for you. And it's six. And then she's six and a half years older than. her. So you could just blame the fact that possibly the sister-in-law just feels like there's too much of like a generational difference between the two of you. Because if she's close to the other sister-in-laws on her husband's side, maybe they're more in the same stage of life. And that's why they bond. I don't know. What do you think? Well, if we were sitting down as friends, Alexis, and you ask me this question,

I'd say, well, one, you don't have to be friends with your sister-in-law. Like, that isn't common, honestly. I know more people who are not close with their sister-in-laws than probably people that are. That is not something that always happens. And it's not, like, necessary to still be in love and to have a good relationship with your, you know, boyfriend right now, future fiancé. Yeah, it just needs to be cordial. Yeah, take a breath, realize. And Ashley's right.

Like, if you can get to a place of being cordial, that's a win. and relationships take time. You might be, you know, five years down the road after a couple family vacations or whatever you could find yourself having some memories with her. And then all of a sudden the relationship blossoms and you forget this season of life.

I would say, though, to try to keep the peace as best as possible right now. So, you know, in a sense, you've got to fall on the sword. And you do got to invite her to these wedding festivities. You do got to have her in the wedding party if you're having some other sister-in-law in the wedding party.

If you're not having other sister-in-laws and you don't. But keep the peace. It feels like right now maybe everything is pressing and all these big decisions need to be made. I would say there's a time and a place to be the peacemaker and to just walk through this slowly to not make a big stance right now. Bring her along.

But just know you might never be best friends and that's okay. You're not alone in that. That's very common. Maybe one day as life moves on, you'll look back and you'll say, hey, do you remember that time that we weren't really that close? Look at us now. We're having all these memories together. Also note that your boyfriend's not even that close to his sister. So therefore, it doesn't make a huge impact on your life. Like if Jared didn't like hanging out with Lauren, that would be a huge impact on my life and it just wouldn't work. But it's, you know, depends on the sibling relationship. That has to do with how close that, like, you probably would need to comfortably be. So Abby sent us the next one. Alexis, to close that out, just keep the peace the best you can and to be the adult.

Abby writes in and says, I'm at an exciting juncture in my life and need advice on how to proceed. I was laid off from a job that, if being honest, I felt pretty lackluster about. I also recently got married. myself, Clayton Eckerd and Jacob Rapini actually asked my bridal party to be part of the wedding through Cameo.

I do remember this now, Abby. And my husband has agreed to support me during this time while I figure out next step. My problem is the possibilities are endless. I feel like there is so many exciting options to pursue, but I'm scared to get out of my comfort zone and am struggling to make any tangible goals. As people who have excelled with a variety of endeavors that span multiple industries. I'd love some advice on how to get organized and get started on my pursuits.

My advice is just to be shameless to just not give a crap about not getting a response. You have to just kind of put all things out there and scour like the internet for the proper email addresses. You know what I did when I was. it was before the bachelor. Oh my gosh. It was before the bachelor, but it was after grad school.

I like put a sizzle reel together. Like it's just like a resume reel. And I sent it. I fed X'd it to certain like producers at access Hollywood and ET and all these things. Just like think out of the box and just don't be scared to fail. It's what's the worst that's going to happen? You know, like really? Like you might.

be, you might feel a little embarrassed. Feeling embarrassed isn't a big deal when you really put your mind to it. Yeah, depending on what age you are too, and also your financial security. Like I don't, you know, we don't know where you're at financially right now. If you can afford to take a few months and, you know, kind of figure stuff out. But I know in my life, you know, is first kind of having to figure out my purpose or what I wanted my purpose to be, and the purpose has changed multiple times from when I was younger, you know, find out what you're really passionate about. And one of the ways I like to find my

purpose is to figure out what angers me the most in the world and then involve myself in some of those solutions. So what are those things that really like fire me up that I feel are inefficient or unjust or lacking skill? And then enter into those either with a company that's already doing the solutions or trying to provide a solution myself. So that's one way find your purpose, what kind of, what could you get fired up about? And the next is right off of what Ashley's saying, take some risks right now. Like if you're young, uh, and you guys are, you know, don't have the massive like financial responsibilities of a family or you're not, you know, buying a home or whatever that is, take some risks, like take some jobs that,

that feel, uh, exciting, but yet maybe a little uncomfortable and say yes to them. And if you don't like them. We're in a day and an age, even though, you know, I think maybe the generation above us doesn't understand it. Our generation is really good at kind of moving from job to job to job until they figure out the one that fits. Then once you do, maybe there's, you know, you get a whole new sense of loyalty and there's a whole new excitement around it because you're part of a team and you're part of a brand and you're trying to grow this thing. But I would say Ashley's spot on, in my opinion, is free yourself up to take some risks and know, you You know, I've had seven companies that I've started that have all failed at this point in my life.

Like, I love that you say that we've succeeded a lot of multiple, like, things. That's great. I've also failed a lot of things or fallen short. And I've learned from them. I'm not mad about them. I got better for the next time around. But I've had seven businesses that I've had to open up or shut down or that I've worked for and that have shut down. It's just a part, but they've all made me better in the end.

And yes, at the time it hurts, sometimes it feels like the world's falling down around you. But once, you know, the smoke settles, the dust clears, there's a whole new perspective that you can take into whatever career you choose next. Going off with Ben said, you can look at how many times the Kardashians have had shows or ideas and businesses that all of a sudden, they're just not there anymore. But they're billionaires and we would never think of them as failures. So seriously, look it up. And then also, like, draw this on your arm or something. It's cliche, but the magic does happen outside of your comfort zone. Hey, let's go.

My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young. professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now hold up, isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former

professor and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain, I'm breaking down the players from rising stars to legends chasing history, the predictions, well,

we see a first-time winner, and the pressure. Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, you know. Plus, the stories and events off the court, and of course the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. U.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experiential sporting event. I mean, listen, the whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive for all tennis fans, whether you play tennis or not. Tennis is full of compelling stories of late. Have you heard about icon Venus Williams' recent wildcard bids or the young Canadian, Victoria Mboko, making a name for herself?

How about Naomi Osaka getting back to form? To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain. I heart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment on the IHart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHart Women's Sports. Culture eats strategy for breakfast. I would love for you to share your breakdown on pivoting. We feel sometimes like we're leaving a part of us behind when we enter a new space, but we're just building. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Volisha Butterfield, media founder, political

strategist and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman who worked really hard to be able to say that. I'd love for you to break down. Why was so important for you to do C. You can't win as something you didn't create. From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys, Malicia's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. A very fake capital-driven environment and society will have a lot of people tell half-truths. I'm telling you, I'm on the energy committee. Like, if the energy is not right, we're not doing it, whatever that it is.

Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Kurt Brown-Oller. And I am Scotty Landis, and we host Bananas, the Weird News Podcasts with wonderful guests like Whitney Cummings. And tackle the truly tough questions. Why is cool mom an insult, but mom is fine? No. I always say, Kurt's a fun dad. Fun dad and cool mom.

That's cool for me. We also dig into important life stuff. Like, why our last names would make the worst hyphen ever. My last name is Cummings. I have sympathy for nobody. Yeah, mine's brown-olar, but with an H. So it looks like brown-holer. Okay, that's, okay, yours might be worse.

We can never get married. Yeah. Listen to this episode with Whitney Cummings. and check out new episodes of bananas every Tuesday on the exactly right network. Listen to bananas on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Heidi writes in, says she's been a listener since day one and we feel like BFFs. I agree. Heidi, I don't know you, but any listener of ours is a friend of mine. So here's the deal.

I've been married to my wonderful husband for five years when I met him, and he was a very single guy on the lookout for love. He was hot, tall, handsome, clean-shaven, or sometimes a little scruff, and short-haired. From the wedding day on, he stopped cutting his hair. It's long and unkempt. It has a single and has an accidental dreadlock in it. It's somewhere that looks like a kitty cat poop. So she's saying his hair is a mess. At the same time, about five months after getting married, he stopped shaving.

He's not shaved since. This has resulted in my husband looking like Forrest Gump when he ran across country for three years or a hardcore motorcycle gang member or an ultimate hippie yogi. Our first two years of marriage, I tried everything to get him to shave. He kept telling me that he would shave it when he felt like it and I needed to calm down. It's just hair and that has never had a beard longer than two years. he would tell me that it hurt his feelings that I repeatedly expressed this to him and that I changed my look if I and that I could change my look if I loved it. He would have no problem with it.

After a few years, I learned that telling him I hated it was doing nothing but causing tension in our relationship. But we're at five years now, people. Even though I have expressed anything to him for a long time, this still makes me sad because this hairy stylistic choice hides this beautiful face makes him look about 10 years older I don't feel physically attracted to him

like I did he just doesn't seem to care what do I do to get him to get rid of this monstrosity on his own thanks guys so much oh man I feel like this is like I feel like Dean and Kayla need to talk about this because I feel like this is something Dean would do

you know I have the answer I think Okay go for it She wrote it in a sentence I think she tells him The compliments You're very handsome And I miss seeing your handsome face

This beard covers up your handsome face And I would love to see the face Of the man that I married Because it is so handsome And you are like so hot You are tall and you are in good shape and all these things. She has to continue to emphasize the compliments, give him the compliments.

And then at some point, she is his wife. And he does need to respect how she feels about him. Now, there's so many other things here. But as a husband, if Jessica says, you know what I'd really like you to do, I'd really like you to shave. that mustache because it gets long and it's not your best look. I do get a little anger. I'm like, what are you talking about? I always look good.

And then I have to remember, she is my wife and she is the one that has to wake up next to me, that has to go to bed next to me, that has to live with me, that has to be attracted to me, that hopefully one day has kids with me. And I want to look my best for her. So the question I would have that I can't answer here is, Why does he care so little about what his wife thinks of him? Yeah, I think this is his issue. This is on him.

I feel like she probably is saying, I miss your handsome face. I think she probably is being, or at least at some point, maybe not five years in, but like she said, two years in maybe, was still being sort of kind about it.

We need to know what's going on in his head. Yeah. It's almost like he doesn't want to be attractive. I mean, he's hiding behind. mind it. We talk about better help. I do think the therapy here couples therapy is really helpful in these situations because the right answer is very clear. He should be as long as she's not nagging, as long as she's not all up in his business all the time, always telling him what

he's doing wrong. Like we don't know that side of this relationship. But as long as she's just saying, hey, buddy, like it would be great if you cut your hair. Like I find you so attractive when you cut like if this is a very normal request right in a relationship and this isn't like an ongoing just like goodness gracious you always are pointing out something wrong with me uh then there is the couple therapy can help be that buffer to um to communicate some of these tough issues because yes it is something like it is a problem for him like it sounds like something that he needs to get over because he needs to all like he needs to be more aware of his wife's request because that's important in a marriage. Do you remember when we had Matt James on and I was talking about his

beard and how nobody liked his beard? And I said it was almost as if you were trying to like cover, it was like a security blanket, like you were trying to cover up something. And he said that is 100% what was going on. Yeah. So I think there's just a deeper issue here. And so the advice I think to give you is to know that the right answer is that he should be willing to hear you out and try to make the changes. As long again, I just want to emphasize, as long as this isn't a constant thing in your relationship where you're always pointing out the negative in him, then he should be willing to listen to this. Yeah, because he could, if there is something else going on, he could be doing it out of resentment or it's like, oh, well, she keeps doing that, then I'm going to keep looking like this

because I don't even want her to be close to me. Exactly, exactly. It's weird that it happened right after they got married. It was like, he's like, okay, I'm ready to go in my hole now. Yeah, it is very weird. And I just don't love that because, you know, marriage has its difficulties no matter what. But one of the things that is easiest to do and control is like, you know, trying to stay attractive for your partner the best you can. Like, they married you because, for a reason, they obviously were attracted to you enough to say, hey, I could wake up next to you every morning. And that would be fun for me.

And so trying to stay attractive for your partner is something that is typically, as long as health allows, fairly easy to control. And with Ben saying that, I'm about to go downstairs looking like this to Jared. Our viewing audience. That's great. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra.

credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both

to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain, I'm breaking down the players

from rising stars to legends chasing history, the predictions will we see a first time winner, and the pressure. Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, you know. Plus, the stories and events off the court, and of Of course, the Honey Deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experiential sporting event.

I mean, listen, the whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive for all tennis fans, whether you play tennis or not. Tennis is full of compelling stories of late. Have you heard about Icon Venus Williams' recent wildcard bids? Or the young Canadian, Victoria Mboko, making a name for herself? How about Naomi Osaka getting back to form? To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an Iheart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHart Women's Sports. Culture eats strategy for breakfast. I would love for you to share your breakdown on pivoting. We feel sometimes like we're leaving a part of us behind when we enter a new space, but we're just building. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Valicia Butterfield, media founder, political strategist, and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman who worked really hard to be able to say that.

I'd love for you to break down. Why was so important for you to do, see you can't win as something you didn't create. From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys, Belisha's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. A very fake, capital-driven environment and society will have a lot of people tell half-truths. I'm telling you, I'm on the energy committee. Like, if the energy is not right, we're not doing it, whatever that it is. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, I'm Kurt Brown-Oller. And I am Scotty Landis, and we host Bananas, the Weird News Podcasts with Wonderful guests like Whitney Cummings. And tackle the truly tough questions. Why is cool mom an insult, but mom is fine? No. I always say, Kurt, it's a fun dad. Fun dad and cool mom.

That's cool for me. We also dig into important life stuff. Like, why our last names would make the worst hyphen ever. My last name is Cummings. I have sympathy for nobody. Yeah, mine's brown-oller, but with an H, so it looks like brown-holer. Okay, that's, okay, yours might be worse. we can never get married.

Yeah. Listen to this episode with Whitney Cummings and check out new episodes of bananas every Tuesday on the exactly right network. Listen to bananas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right. Final question of the day.

Hi, Ben and Ash. After hearing the first episode of your advice segment, I know I needed to, write in. So good. Thank you. My question is about going through my boyfriend's phone. I know it's technically you're wrong to go through his phone without him knowing, but it's still the beginning stages of our relationship. And I don't fully trust him. Okay. There's your answer. I also saw something while going through it in the past where he was texting his friend about a girl looking hot on Instagram. Should I bring that up to him? I feel kind of justified going through his phone

because I actually found something. What should I do instead of going through his film because I don't really trust him yet? I think you're like answering your own question. You don't really trust him. So like, I don't know what the longevity of this relationship's going to be. Why don't you fully trust him? Has he shown signs besides, I mean, texting his friend about a girl looking hot on Instagram?

Yeah, you don't want to see that. But Ashley, let's pause there. I don't want to assume. But I'm guessing, like, Jared's on a text or his buddies when, like, one of his friends sends a picture of a girl and it's like, goodness, look at her, she's looking so good. Like, she's so hot. Last season, I had, like, a Joe Burrow text message group with our producer, Hanna in it.

And we just send each other TikTok's, like, thirst traps of Joe Burrow. So obviously, like, it's not a big deal. Yeah, like, it's not like you were like, oh my gosh, I'm going to leave Jared for Joe Burrow. Yeah, yeah. You're just like Joe Burr's a very attractive man. Like, it's not uncommon for men and women to text about the attractiveness of somebody else out there, especially if you still have friends that are single.

You're single. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you aren't going to be the guys like, sorry, don't send me the picture of the beautiful girl from Instagram because I'm married. Like, I would love if that world, like, but like you can't be that guy. You can't be that girl. Yeah. it's usually in group messages too where it's like a friend being like hey i'm why i'm like talking

at this person then you can be like oh yeah he's hot sure and like that's it like there's there's nobody else in the world i want to be with other than my wife like i am so committed and so excited and so happy but it doesn't mean that all of a sudden i'm like yep never seen another beautiful girl in my life like they're gone like never found a girl and be like hey she's really pretty or hey she's really attractive like that it's just your mindset changes where you're like yeah but like i'm not like going to talk to her or pursue her yeah so what do you think about what do you think that she doesn't trust him for that reason or there's more to it sounds like there's more to it yeah because if it's just a text with his buddy about a girl that's attractive what i'm saying

is like hey if that's the red flag that you're seeing i would i would say yeah you know what a matter the context and what kind of conversation they're having. But if he's showing loyalty to you, like if he's pursuing you, if he is making sure that you know how special you are to him, if he's giving you all of that, then lean into that. I do think, though, there's an opportunity for a conversation here where you simply go to him and say, hey, I've been in my own head. And you know what? I have like wanted, I've been so curious about like what's in your phone. And the reason is because I know that you were texting about this girl and I have some insecurities about it. I'm not mad at you for it. I understand that like that's a thing that guys do sometimes with their friends, but it brought

up insecurities in me. And if we're going to continue this and I want to continue this, I don't want to have these insecurities. And so let's have that like define the relationship they used to call it back in the old church days. But like, let's, let's redefine like where we're at. Like, what are you thinking towards me? Do you want to be with me? If you don't, this is an easy time to have an out. If you do want to be with me, what steps could we take so that, like, I do trust you more and that you, I am more confident in us because I don't want to be in my head all the time. And this isn't just because of what you did. It's also because of what's going on in my head. Fantastic advice, Ben, fantastic advice. When it comes to going through phones, though,

you could also just simply say like you're probably not there in this relationship but like you can be like hey can i have your phone for a second there's that picture that you took a couple weeks ago i want to grab no you got to be honest you got to be honest you can't do that you can't because all i'm saying is that like jared and i have never been like we've never been weird with our phones it's like here it is here it is so it's kind of like not i'm not even asking her to do it for the sake of going through it I just want to see how easily he gives over his phone. Because if he gives it over easily, then like there's nothing

on there. But that feels like a test. And I just don't love tests and relationships. And you're, I mean, we also have to take in consideration here, actually, you are married. Jessica, could have my phone whenever she wants it and leave with it for the day. Yeah. But we're

married. It is totally different, huh? If you're just dating, you've got to tread very lightly. There is not, and there's not the commitment yet like you are boyfriend girlfriend you know if he stepped out it would still be considered cheating but you are you have not made that covenant so you just haven't made that commitment to each other to be together to be loyal to one another and to stay together for the rest of your lives and so at this point there is still a lot of like gray area in this and from

the question she wrote us we don't know that he's stepping on her on her in fact i would assume he's not everything i read here i'm like yeah i can see it like is it cool and you know is it healthy to you know no it's not healthy to be looking at other women when you're in a relationship but like what you know what is the context what is actually going on and so the advice here emily to you would be try to have a conversation with him that is honest from start to finish because here's the other truth if it doesn't go well and he gets really mad at you this especially if you give him the respect he ain't your guy anyways like you're lucky to get out of that thing get out of there go find somebody else but if he hears you out especially when you approach it

with hey i've had my own insecurities about this it's been in my head i feel like i'm going crazy i've been thinking about this all the time every time you're texting your phone i'm watching you do it wondering what you're texting about if you just like give him that he's going to understand because truth is all of us humans we're a little weird and we have our issues shoes and he'll be like, I get it, honey, here's a deal. Like, I care about you. I only want to be with you. And then it will bring a piece. But try to have that conversation. If he doesn't respond well to it, he ain't your guy anyways. The key word in what Ben is saying is blame yourself. Be like, I'm being weird and now I'm feeling this. It's like, not about him and what he's done.

Not in this question. There's, there's not a red flag where he can be. like you did this and it hurt me and this is on you. No, right here it's, hey, I am feeling a certain way. And as my partner, for whatever period of time this is, I need you to hear me because this is driving me crazy. Great advice, Ben. Not almost good. Great. Let's go. All right. Hey, Ashley, that's another episode of Almost Good Advice. There's some great questions. Continue to write us in. we want to answer as many questions as possible spanning from business to life to relationships to friendships whatever it is we just want to talk about it um for one reason it's good to hear from you the second reason it's going to help people feel less alone and then maybe just maybe

we can chat through something and get to a place where maybe it's a little bit helpful for you and if it's not great advice it's almost good advice we can commit to that so until next time i've been ben i've been ashley love you Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcasts on IHartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime Podcasts on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD...

Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in.

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