The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Almost Good Advice Part VII

Episode Date: April 21, 2024

Ben and Ashley take on some tough issues this week when they answer YOUR emails. If you’re struggling with something personal in your family life or in your faith, we hope this podcast will help.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Jenna Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcomfit Podcasts, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? join me for conversations about healing and growth all from one of my favorite spaces the kitchen listen to the new season of the overcomber podcast on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast this is the ben and ashley i almost famous podcast with i heart radio hey everyone welcome to the almost famous podcast today we're doing an episode of almost good advice now let me tell you i read our

three questions. And I cannot give advice on these okay people. I'm letting Mr. Higgins who just, I know that I say it every week that like you're an expert at this. You could do a sermon. You could be a minister. You do give the best advice ever. But these three questions, I think there's two of the three questions that I feel truly uncomfortable giving my opinion on. I will touch on it. But like this is stuff that needs to be dealt with with like, family therapist, okay? This is not Ashley I can edit from The Bachelor.

I have no appropriateness in giving you guys advice on this topic. Plus, like, yeah, I just feel like I am not qualified. Okay, I'm just going to put that out there. Ben just put his glasses on. Their blue, like, blocking glasses, aren't they?

These are my almost good advice glasses. They make me feel smarter. They make me feel wiser. I mean, I think with what you're saying, too, I haven't read these questions yet. Yeah, he hasn't read them. which is why I'm going to lead the conversation. Because I have to do something here.

One of the notes here that I think it's important to say is good advice sometimes is, hey, I don't have an answer. You need to talk to somebody professionally. That's good advice in life. That's what I thought. That's what I thought while reading this. I was like, I have no advice for you. And therefore, that is the best I can help you. Now, if you were my best friend or just like, or a good friend and I knew.

a lot of aspects about your life. I knew more about your personality. I could help you a little bit better. But based on this like two paragraphs that I got from you, can't do it. Ben, are you ready to be challenged? I am.

I feel like you had seven cups of coffee this morning. I haven't had any. But no, I think I'm overcompensating because you can feel that my energy was low when we were just chatting off. And I was like, okay, I got to hype myself up.

We're on. Okay, good. Let's kick it off. How about you, if you've already read these and you don't feel like you have anything to say, then how about you read these questions, Ashley, and I'll do the best I can to respond

in how I would, you know, in any given circumstances. Okay. I will save the one that I think is like, oh, I can answer that or last. Okay. Because it's kind of fun and funny. It's a little, it's way lighter. Okay, this is Trump Anonymous.

My parents want to send me to conversion therapy. What can I do? I'm a 15-year-old male living in Oklahoma. Yesterday, my mom took me to the eye doctor, and while I was in the chair, my phone, which was on the doctor's desk, started buzzing. My mom picked it up to see what it was, and she ended up snooping around,

finding a photo album on my phone named Ah. This album was filled with pictures of men. She immediately understood what it meant. My parents are very homophobic and religious, and they believe being gay is a sim. As I feared, they didn't accept me at all. My dad beat me with a belt. And although my mom tried to stop him, she was also screaming at me.

Today they told me that they will look into conversion therapy for me. I have no say in this. And I'm not allowed to play the piano anymore. I've been taking piano lessons for nearly two years, and I absolutely love everything about it. It's very important to my mental health. And I'm also really afraid of conversion therapy, the stories that I've heard. heard about it really scares me it's a legal practice here in oklahoma which leaves me feeling trapped and scared and i don't want to undergo something so fundamentally against who i am is there

anything i can do at all and if i end up having to go to conversion should i just pretend to be straight any advice on how to navigate this would be greatly appreciated okay ashley do you want to say anything i just want to say that i feel really really bad for what you're going through and that i am really upset with the way your parents handled it so the advice here is is there anything i can do or you can do uh anonymous writer well yeah i'm with ashley um i'm sorry this is where you're at a couple like key notes here that i would say is i've never known anybody now the beating is is is really um awful to hear now also i've never known anybody to um that's beat the gay away right i've never you know i know that's a saying i know it's something

attempted but it's it's not it doesn't work right and i've never really known anybody to change who they are as a person um based on this type of uh punishment or brutality i've never known anybody to like switch their mindset or switch how they feel because what i believe as a human and as somebody who deeply believes in jesus um There is so much more to who we are as a person than what's on the outside and what's expressed on the outside. So my point is that you're never going to convert somebody without it being something deeply inside of them that calls to be converted. I believe that there is a Holy Spirit. I'm saying all this because his family is religious.

and so I'm speaking to you to try to relate with these things. I believe there's a Holy Spirit that has incredible power and wonder in this world. And as Christians, or as anybody from a faith tradition that believes in the spiritual realm at all, then I've always given a lot of respect and power to that spirit realm. And to say if Jesus is who he said he was, and if God loves both, importantly, then Jesus is going to work in and through you and how Jesus desires to work in and through you. And that that power is available. And so maybe having a conversation with your parents just saying, hey, I don't know what your belief system is if you agree with

kind of their belief system or not. I'm assuming that you're either very tainted by or you feel like faith is a list of rules and things that you should and should not do. And you probably know the church and people from the church more for what they're against than what they're for. And that saddens me because what the church should be for is bringing people together. It should be, I believe, that oasis in the desert of life so that when you're around your church community, when you're practicing your faith tradition, when you're praying to your God above, when you're taking actions for the outsider in this world, that you're actually getting a taste of heaven, you're getting a taste of God, and so that your faith is actually

the oasis in the world that's going to tell you you're not enough, or then you're not doing the right things, or who you are as a person doesn't fit into this world. So I'm hoping your faith, you can find a faith community that wraps their arms around you and says, you are enough, and you are incredible, and you are everything that God's ever desired you to be. when it comes to the issue of your sexuality, I can't speak to that because I don't have an expertise in that, really. But I do know many churches out there that have fully accepted and are affirming of people who are attracted to the same sex.

I do believe there are people out there who deeply have a true faith in Jesus. I'm guessing that's what your religious tradition is. is your family's religious tradition because you're in Oklahoma and they're trying to convert you so I'm assuming it's probably some fundamental or conservative Christianity but there are many churches out there who have not only had people

stand up as teachers of scripture, teachers of God who also are homosexual. So there are those people and I encourage you to try to reach out to some of those and to read some of those. I personally

I'm not a parent, but I can never imagine in this situation asking one of the humans in my life that a parent probably loves most, which is their child, that they're just not good enough for their family dynamics, no matter what. I just can't imagine that, and that's not okay. So back to the question of what can you do. I think your options are honestly, sadly, very limited. I think there's like a couple pasts here. You're 15 years old. You can't leave home.

And if you do, it's not going to be good for you. It's probably not the best option here. If it is a very unhealthy environment and you feel like you are, you know, getting beaten to a point where, you know, you can start to maybe categorize it in other ways, then I would recommend maybe reaching out to some professional support to see if there's options. to either get out of there or to separate for a period of time to get some space and if there's an environment that you could go to for a while to get some protection and to let everybody kind of breathe

and maybe let this whole thing stink in a bit because it's probably pretty shocking for everybody, yourself included. I also would say that, you know, I don't know what conversion therapy exactly is or what it exactly does. It doesn't sound healthy. it feels very barbaric. I've seen documentaries on it before.

It can get really gruesome. Yeah, it feels very barbaric. But I will say that, like, I'm very stuck on the fact that he was beat. Yeah, I just don't know the, we don't know the extent, right? I mean, obviously, like, my grandpa spanked me with a belt. Like, that's kind of, you know,

like, I don't know. And it, like, wasn't like he beat me to, you know, where I was bleeding or bruised, but it was like, I don't know. I'm going to assume because he didn't say, hey, I felt like it was abuse, that it was probably like a spanking. And if that's the case, then like, I still think spanking's weird. But like, I know some people today that still believe that it's a proper punishment. I mean, it wasn't that long ago, the elementary school, public elementary schools in

Indiana still had the principals still have the ability to spank the kids. That is wacky. Okay. continue so i i don't know like i can't i don't want to that's why i said i don't want to categorize it in a way that's unfair or not giving it like the proper justice or give maybe giving it too much um sentiment so i don't know conversion therapy it seems barbaric it doesn't seem healthy it does it's not going to change who you are i mean that's that's the truth of the whole thing there's only one thing in this world that changes who we are and that's a deep love for

that I believe comes from God. And that usually changes us for the better. And so I'm not saying that you need to be changed. I'm saying that conversion therapy isn't going to change you as a human. There's only one thing that changes you as a human. And usually, at least in my experience in life, God has only changed me to be a better person to others and to myself and to the people around me. And so I don't think conversion therapy is going to do anything for you.

which you find like it's going to be a very unhealthy practice. So again, going back to the options, you need to talk to them. You need to tell them who you believe you are as a human. You need to maybe tell them your kind of your stance on your fear. I think parents, good parents, when a child expresses their fear towards something, will respond in a loving way. And I'm hoping that once they hear, hey, I'm really scared of this. I'm really nervous about this and here are the reasons why I'm hoping they respond in a loving way and says okay

let's chat I also think there you know again there is that possibility of taking a leave of absence hopefully away from them I don't know if you have family that maybe you can go to if you can ask them if you can maybe visit some family for a few weeks and let this like sink into them a little bit breathe a bit get some you know so you can all kind of regather your thoughts So I think those two are really good options. I think the third option here would 100% for me, and I'm encouraging you to do this, is to go to,

I mean, this is my advice and what I would say. And so it's not everybody's, I would go to your local church that you believe will at least want to listen to you. I'm not going to say they're going to agree with you on where you're at in life, but at least they'll come and listen to you. You need to go there and kind of tell them, situation. And then finally, you have a psychiatrist or a therapist, a family,

a family therapist that can maybe sit and moderate and mediate for your family here and kind of be maybe a voice of reason in the midst of this really chaotic time for your parents and for yourself, obviously. I mean, I'm not thinking that you want to you come out to them in this way with pictures on your phone. Yeah. But all of this to be said, and again, this comes from anonymous. I want your. parents um to love you well and i know that deeply when they had you as a child their desire was to love you well and so at 15 years old you are going to have to deal with and figure out some complex issues that is unfair to you at 15 years old but my desire for you is to figure out how your

family can get back to a loving place um again i'm sure this is not how you want to come out to them i'm sure this is not how they would ever dreamed of you coming out to them if that was ever a possibility but it happened and so now there is that kind of really unfair thing to you that you're going to have to talk through and deal with some complex feelings and emotions and issues with parents who right now feel like they're going to try to push you aside and um and i i've never known a good parent that wants to push their kids away no matter what um well i hope that they're i don't know that they're good parents but we'll see we'll see how they respond now um i i know personally that probably the the god of your parents

and the god that your your parents believe in been over backwards for the outsider for the person that was pushed aside in this world and and so i hope they do the same thing The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain, I'm breaking down the players from rising stars to legends chasing history, the predictions, well, we see a first time winner, and the pressure. Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, you know. Plus, the stories and events off the court, and of course the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experienced. Sporting event. I mean, listen, the whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive for all tennis fans, whether you play tennis or not. Tennis is full of compelling stories of late. Have you heard about Icon Venus Williams' recent wildcard bids?

Or the young Canadian, Victoria Mboko, making a name for herself. How about Naomi Osaka getting back to form? To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or where wherever you get your podcast. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all,

childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty private isn't just a podcast.

It's your personal guide for turning storylines into, lifelines every tuesday make sure you listen to pretty private from the black effect podcast network tune in on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD. Oh my god, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free I-HeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this.

Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50, percent of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this, until this. Pull that. Turn this. It's just, I can do my eyes close. I'm Manny.

I'm Noah. This is Devon. And on our new show, no such thing, we get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. then as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at

this thing. See? Listen to no such thing on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All right, let's get to our next question. Also from Anonymous, I'm pregnant and emotionally ready, but I can't afford it. What should

I do? I'm 30 and my partner is 31. We've accidentally gotten pregnant. We're in a secure, healthy relationship for the past three years, and I have a well-paid job, but he recently switched careers and has a year left on a low-paying traineeship. We both want this so badly, but we're considering not going through with the pregnancy, which breaks my heart in a way I can't even describe for a few reasons. We don't have much in terms of savings.

Our combined income isn't very high. We're currently living in a houseboat, not great for a pregnant woman or a baby. we're flipping it to sell it for profits and put a down payment on a house eventually. We don't live in the same country as any family. I want this so badly. My partner and I are emotionally ready, but I don't want my child to grow up any family struggling to make ends meet. What should I do? Okay.

I'll put my two cents in here. I think you should have the baby because you really want the baby. You're at a good age for it. You sound like you're obviously not in the greatest of financial situations, but can you feed this baby? Can you keep the, you know, can you keep it clothed and healthy and bathe and have a roof under the head over the head? I think you can. And I just feel like it will be a huge regret of yours if you were to end this pregnancy. Um, of course, we're not best friends. Um, I may not be the, you know, I'm just going off of what you're saying. Um, I don't want your trial to grow up in a struggling family either, but not everybody is in the financial place that they want to be when they end up having a baby. Um, as long as you can take care of this baby, I think you, you know, give it its fundamental needs and love being one of, you know, love and affection. And,

guidance and all that being so high on that list. So that's my quick two cents, Ben. I feel like you are going to say something similar. Well, I mean, my just would, there's the only advice here for me would be give you encouragement. Like people all over the world are having children and they're doing it fantastically. They're great parents.

They love well. They're caring for their child well. And in fact, in my life, I've never met somebody who's had a baby who hasn't said it's one of the greatest gifts, if not the greatest gift that they've ever been given. And so, you know what, right now, like I've been very open about, you know, my outlook on being a parent, something I desire, something I want, but I'm 35 years old and I've gone 35 years of my life without it. So I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know if it's like going to make my life better. I believe it will because I believe it's one of the greatest gifts that we are given and one of the biggest blessings that we can have.

So my point is if millions upon millions of people every year can have babies and do it, you can too. It sounds like you are actually very well suited to do this and do it fantastically. And my other point would be that I don't think you're ever ready. like i really believe that i think you think you are and i think um women especially have like more of a desire and like a um an excitement or or maybe that like feeling up no i i cannot wait to have a baby but i don't know if anybody is actually ever ready like i don't think there's ever a time in life where you wake up and you're like you know what i'm pregnant and i know i'm

going to crush this. I think that would be a terrible mindset if you're like, I'm going to bring a human life into this world. I'm going to carry them in my womb. I'm going to give birth to this child. And I'm going to do it perfectly because I'm so good at this. I think that would be a bad mindset. I think the mindset is like, I know I can do it. I know I can make it happen. Am I ready? I don't really know because life is wild and it takes twists and turns every day. So my encouragement to you is there's so many don't take this wrong if ashley can do it you can do it too if if uh my mom can do it you can do it too like you you can do this yeah i'm really not concerned for you no i'm not like i mean i know it's just a few paragraphs we're going off of but you this is a very like i'm reading

this i'm like of course it's overwhelming of course you're questioning where you live of course you're questioning you and your husband's future of course you're questioning if you're ready financially. Of course you're questioning if you have the time and the effort and the space for this. That's like that's very human. That's very normal. You're not alone in those questions. The baby's not going to know certain things. It's not going to know if all of its clothes are hammy downs. If you got all of the car seats and strollers from the thrift store or they were all donated, it's fine. You able to feed the baby? Give the baby love. It's going to be happy. You're going to be good. You're going to do great.

So my encouragement is have the baby, let it change you in the way it's going to change you, let it enhance life where it enhances life. And it's going to be from not my personal experience, but from so many around me, it's going to be one of the coolest things you ever do. Ashley, would you agree? It's one of the coolest things you ever done? Oh, yeah, of course. And yeah, just like even in the morning when they wake up and you're like, oh, you're one of the coolest things. waking up but then like you get to cuddle with them in bed and then they go mama mama you're just going to be like you're the best thing ever you're so cool okay um our last one is the one that

i said was a little bit more lighthearted in the grand scheme of things yeah my boyfriend subscribed to my best friends only fans my boyfriend and i have been dating for two and a half years he's 26 i'm 25 we live together now and i thought we were pretty serious Long story short, I caught him subscribing to my best friend's only fans page. She's confirmed it's true, and so did he. It's been a few months, and we haven't broken up, but I feel extremely betrayed and disgusted. I can't look at him the same, let alone bring up her name. I am not mad at her, of course, but I don't know what to do, and I don't know if this can be forgiven.

His explanation is that he was curious. um i don't know okay well first off i don't know what your friend's only fans looks like because there's like a wide range of what an only fans can be it can go let's assume it's just like it's porn like full for yeah like full full full flesh porn yeah let's assume that because if not we could dance around this forever if it's full flesh porn and he's i mean it's effing like we it's weird and i would be grossed out too but i also kind of buy him saying that he was curious Look at Ben's face. It's like,

Ashley, are you kidding me? Yeah. I wonder how often you see this friend. Like, is this a friend that's in your daily life? Best friend. Is this a friend that he hangs out with often? If he hangs out with her in person, that's really weird. I know it's his best friend, but like, that's really weird.

I guess, I mean, I mean, obviously, it's concerning. I would be pissed. I need more from him. Like, what was he thinking? I get being curious, but, like, to subscribe... Did he subscribe to it? I don't know.

I don't know. It's... It's all a bit interesting. Yeah, that's all... I don't know. That obviously, it's a problem. I'm asking for your help here, because why do I not want her to break up with him over the one thing?

Is that bad? No, I would agree with you. Okay, I just don't know if it's like totally break up a bowl over. Hmm. It's just definitely effing weird. I respect. I actually respect his honesty. I think he was curious.

I think he was curious not only because he was curious about the page of what was going on. I think he was also, he's kind of. and I'm probably curious about your best friend. He's obviously found her to be at whatever level something that I'm not going to say he admires or he desires or that he fantasizes about, but he's curious enough. And I think he was honest with you about that. And so if he was honest with you, I don't know what you're looking for in a partner. So if you're looking for a partner who doesn't follow your friends on Onlyfans, then like maybe

he's not your guy. But if you're looking for a partner to be honest with you, I think there is a step here where you have to respect his honesty. See, Ben Nails it. He nails it. He was able to put together what I was like kind of like feeling but couldn't put into words. And I'm going to be so honest here. Before Jared and I were together, it's like probably a year before we got together.

He had seen a girl to. Like, two visits. She was not on only fans at the time, but she got an only fans. And I was like, her Instagram was a little salacious, okay? And I was like, who is this? You know, who is this? And then I'd ask his best friend, who's a girl, who is this? And she actually lied to me until we were together, I think, about who she really was.

She claimed it was a friend of hers. But once we got together and everything was out, the air. She was like, yeah, well, like, you know, he was like, yeah, I saw her a few times. And then, and she ended up getting an only fans in, I think probably when we got together. And I was at dinner with a couple girlfriends. And we, and I was dying of curiosity to see what her only fans looked like. So my best friend subscribed so that we could watch the videos at dinner. So, like, I understand the burning curiosity of having somebody in your, on the outskirts of your life, and having an only fan just wanting to see what was on it.

The U.S. Open is here. And on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain, I'm breaking down the players from rising stars to legends chasing history. The predictions, will we see a first-time winner and the pressure. Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, you know. Plus, the stories and events off the court and, of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experiential sporting event. I mean, listen, the whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive for all tennis fans, whether you play tennis or not. Tennis is full of compelling stories of late. Have you heard about icon Venus Williams' recent wildcard bids, or the young Canadian, Victoria Mboko, making a

name for herself. How about Naomi Osaka getting back to form? To hear this and more, listen to Good Good Game with Sarah Spain, an Iheart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzo. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called emergency intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD, oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app.

Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney. The podcast where silence is broken, and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house.

Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever.

where you listen to your favorite shows. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone, to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men

think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this, do this, pull that, turn this. It's just... I can do my eyes close. I'm Manny. I'm Noah.

This is Devin. And on our new show, No Such Thing, we get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing.

See? Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts I mean am I wrong in saying that only fans when it's probably nude like the desire at the basis of everything is curiosity

like it's fantasy and curiosity right you follow these four fantasy and curiosity and so I do believe that is a drawing factor to why people follow people they follow they see on Instagram because it is that, that, you know, desire, that fantasy, the curiosity of I want to see what else is there, right? Or, and so I don't think he was lying to you. And, and, and so none of this to me is like, hey, you're going to break up with him because he is, he isn't communicating one with you, right? That's different. He's lying to you. That's different. He's not

honest with you. That's different. He has been honest with you. Again, if, if you're hurt and you're just like I don't want a partner who follows my best friend or would even have the potential to follow my best friend um on only fans then that's a whole separate issue but if your your question is here can you be mad at him based on his response no he was honest and so now you guys have to make the decision is this going to work or not or was this you know this is this good enough for us or not I think that's the big question um it's wild i find it weird i don't know if everybody would find it weird i'm sure there's many people who'd be like that makes sense like yeah yeah i 100 i get it i find it weird i find it a

a little bit of a betrayal probably of the intimacy of your relationship and probably your friendship with her i i don't i i personally um think it would hurt it would be weird it would bring up a lot of questions it would bring up a lot of concerns but i think you have from what you wrote here, you have somebody who at least, even if you have a lot of questions and concern, he'll be honest with you about the questions you ask if you're willing to hear him. And then you have to make the decision, is this the right person for me or not? That's up in the air. Like, I can't make that decision for you. But at least you can start asking the right questions. You can ask him to be honest with you about it. And you guys can start

figuring this out. But yes, you feel weird about it. I think that's fine. I'm sure. he feels weird about it now, too. I'm sure your best friend probably feels weird about it also. But it happened. And so now you have to figure out what's best next. Good answer, Ben. Good answer. I also want to go back to our very first question,

the 15-year-old in living in Oklahoma. Closing words on that are no matter what. No matter what, you are a human with great value. You are a human with breath. you are loved, keep going, never give up, because this is either going to become a story that you tell to help others for years to come, or this is going to be a story that you and your parents talk about together, that's my hope, that helps others for years to come. But no matter what, you're going to have a story to tell that so many people are going to relate

with that so many people feel pushed aside and alone by you're in it right now you're in that story and when you're in this story it feels like you're walking through the valley of the shadow of death and it feels like nothing makes sense and it feels chaotic and it feels complex and it makes you feel alone but i promise you that story is not over and that ending to this story will be one that allows you to have an incredible message for so many who need people like you to speak to them. So keep going. You're in the story.

Don't give up. Let's sign off right there. I've been Ashley. And I've been Ben. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcasts on IHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Jumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips.

And we run a podcast called, emergency intercom If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD Oh my god perfect and want to hear people with

mental illness psychobabble Yes yes Then emergency intercom is the podcast for you Open your free IHeartRadio app Search emergency intercom and listen now Hi it's honey German And I'm back with season two of my podcast

Grazias come again We got you when it comes comes to the latest in music and entertainment with interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in like over 25 years. Oh, wow.

That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about all that's viral and trending with a little bit of cheesement and a whole lot of laughs. And of course, the great vivras you've come to expect. Listen to the new season of Dacia's Come Again on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, we're not doing that this season.

Oh, well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Festi Club on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast,

or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.