The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Amy Reveals The Best Advice She’s Ever Gotten About Men

Episode Date: November 23, 2024

Our hosts continue to answer everything and in doing so, Amy shares the advice T.J. gave her about men that changed everything!Plus, long-distance… to do or not to do, that is the question, and are hosts help you navigate money matters when it comes to relationships.Ready to find love again? Want dating advice?Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Culture eats strategy for breakfast, right? On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Valicia Butterfield, media founder, political strategist, and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman. From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys, Valicia's journey is a masterclass. and shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Welcome everyone to I-do Part 2. It is an innovative, one-of-a-kind, experiment, podcasting and love. So out there, if you didn't find love the first time around, we're telling you it's okay. We're with you. We're here to tell you you can get the confidence you need to get

back out there and find love again. Wow. You're already laughing at me. So apparently that was not said confidently enough. I believed you. I believe. I believe. I'm a believer. Amen. All right. We are here. It is really, really cool to be in the room with all of these ladies right now. I am one of your host, CJ Holmes, sitting next to my dear love. Amy Robock and Jenny Garth, one of our hosts here as well as the first time we've actually been able to be in the room with her as we've done one of these. This is so good. We're joined by a couple of our celebrity mentors and some old friends of ours. Now, when I say old friends, I didn't mean that.

I was just, try another word to you, Jay. We should be good friends of ours. Some of our dearest friends that we go way back with is what I meant. Golden friends. Thank you for getting me out of that. That's up to the answer. That's not said yet. Okay.

Jenny, will you please get me out numbered? From the Golden Bachelor and their podcast, Bachelor, Happy Hour, Golden Hour, we have Kathy Schwartz and Susan Knowles with us today, you guys. Yes, we're back. We love having you. Okay, we have to go because we had so many questions last time that we needed more information. We've got to keep going.

Because everything you have to say is like golden nuggets. Is that what that called out? Golden nuggets. Yeah, I could get some. gold out of your nuggets. And of course, like, the conversation between you two and just your beautiful relationship, I think that's really inspiring for people to listen to. Definitely. Third times the charm. Absolutely. This is from Lisa Rogers. Okay. Is there one dating site better than the other? I've never been on a dating site, so I could not answer that

question. They're all the same people on all the same dating sites. They say the ones you pay for are better than the free ones, but I don't find that to be true either. I mean, there's so many, many now. It's overwhelming. You know, you used to think that you're in a big city. There's more people that I think it's harder to meet people in a big city. Like in New York, people complain all the time. This is the worst-paced. L.A. You can't meet anybody in L.A. Philly. I think the reason in big cities, my daughter said this, and I've had several other friends say this, when you're in a big city, like, you can be on a date with a great guy or a great woman, and they're talking to you and then They see somebody.

Oh, that looks interesting. Too many options. Too many options. They just swipe. They just keep swiping. There's always someone prettier, younger, thinner, smarter, richer, richer, well, not in your case, Amy. No, that, ha, ha, ha.

You are gorgeous. But thank you very much. Take that and say thank you. No, but I remember my mom always telling me that. She said you can never, when you're actually looking for someone, if you get into this comparison business, which I think the apps actually encourage and perhaps even make it sort of a difference. but if you are always looking for what if I could find something better if you're in that mindset

you'll never ever settle down or be okay with what you have or recognize the beauty or uniqueness of what you have so I think these apps unfortunately perpetuate that right because you always do have another option yeah and it's right through at your fingertips that's got to be really tough you don't have to name it but is there a site that you've had more success on than another is there not a frontrunner at all no for me bumble um um I met two guys on match that were above ground and breathing. And then I met a couple guys on Bumble that were worth having a second day with, but not, you know, not really. Coffee meets bagel.

They're all in New York or North Jersey. It's about vicinities too, you know, where you're at. Geographically desirable. Yes. All right. Another question for you all here. Again, no name attached to this one, but it says, when do you start having the money conversations? Debt.

if you say for retirement, if your adult children are going to be taken care of or independent financially. When you start having those money conversations. Money's always tricky. Well, you kind of just keep your eyes open in the beginning and you can figure some of it out. But I wouldn't have a serious conversation of that nature until you're deciding we're serious. And we're going to take this to the next level. We're going to be exclusive.

Well, no, exclusive is. You just don't sleep with anybody else, right? Who says? Well, I just found out what hooking up was this year. I had a teacher what hooking up means. She knew what making out was, but not what hooking up. Like, you're hooking up with somebody. I just, I have young daughters, so I know.

So you know. I did not. I hear them talking about that. I have a question on this. So I am probably the senior member in this room. And I have to be honest, back to this question, T.J. That you just read. If I met, please God may it happen.

the man of my second dreams tomorrow. I honestly, I have three children, three grown children and two grandchildren. My husband and I worked really hard for the money that I have. I want to leave the lion's share of the money I have to my children and grandchildren. So I don't expect a man to take, quote unquote, take care of me. And I don't want to take care of him. So I think at my age, it sort of would be a more. equal partnership financially, you know, as long as he flies me first class wherever we want

to go. That doesn't hurt. But I'm just saying I want, so I don't, you know, it's not like pooling money. I would expect to share expenses. If we bought a house together, we'd own it together. We would share the expenses together. And I think that's different when you're young and raising kids and you're meeting someone. Well, anybody our age out there looking for somebody to keep them?

A nurse and a purse. I mean, it's just a nurse and a purse. I do not want to be a nurse or a purse. Thank you so much. Yeah, I mean, I don't, yeah, it's so, the money thing is always a tough one. But I think, you know, you and I haven't had serious conference. I think until you go to live with someone and merge households, you know, obviously you are going to decide who should pay for dinners and, like that'll, I guess, evolve naturally.

But I don't know that it's necessary unless you are like actually merging your families together, merging your households together. Do you have a retirement account? Do you have a savings? I passed. That was one of the reasons that that didn't work, had nothing. No, I mean, I have a... You're responsible for it.

Oh, I'm solely responsible for that. But I've taken responsibility as a woman who has always been a kind of a single mom to my children, like in terms of financial responsibility. So I've set that ball in motion. I have a trust. and that's just something how I've operated. Not everybody does that. No, and I actually only learned it after the second time around.

So you learn from past mistakes how you protect your interest for your children. And yes, when you have kids and, yes, we're talking to people with their second, third time around, you've learned probably in painful ways what you should have done differently. And expensive ways. And expensive ways. It does cost. But I will tell you, I have taken my daughters along that journey with me to say, hey, don't ever rely on someone else like that I want them that was the one thing I wanted for them

from the beginning was to say hey no matter what happens if you are financially independent in whatever way you live and you can live modestly right to live within your means but then you have choices and then you're empowered to make the best decision for yourself yes and that is the gift I've hoped to give my daughters I mean it that that's why we're here yeah like it's to pass that. My father taught me that early on. Don't depend on anybody but yourself. And if you, when, and if you meet somebody, that's your equal, that's even better.

But always depend on yourself first. Choose yourself. That's funny. You know, my parents told me, go find your prince charming. And marry rich, Kathy. And Mary, I didn't listen to any of it. My grandmother told my mother, my mom didn't listen either, it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor man.

I've heard that. She laughed because she's like, wow, I did not follow that advice. All right. What would you think if you matched or went on a date with someone who found out that they hadn't been in a relationship at a long time? Is that a red flag? Well, I think if someone took the time to work on themselves, that's a good sign. Define how long. I was going to say, what's a long time?

If it's been a decade. You know, I have some questions. And it depends on the age, too, right? And if you're raising a family, if you have young kids and you're raising, you might not have. It's two years, long time. Yes, that would that be considered a long? I haven't been on a date this side in over two years. I haven't been on a date in two years.

Two years. Wait, on a date? I didn't know that. The last time we talked to you. Don't you feel for us now? It's not something I like to. You sure you don't have an uncle. Since no one's listening to this at all, it's just us five in this room.

No, I have not. I have a couple of male friends and I go out with, but not a date. Okay, last time we saw you all and told, I thought you all were just, y'all were dating, y'all all over the place. We were ready to date. You were ready to date and not dating. Yes, but I can assume men would be very wondering, cautionary. Redicent, they are.

Yes, that's the story of our life. I know, I know. Well, we've got to break that. So people say, well, just do less, Susan, be less. Oh, okay. We've talked about this. We can only be who we are. That's, you know, I am authentically who I am.

And if you don't, I'm not everyone's cup of tea and I accept that. But I'm not going to be somebody. I am everyone's cup of tea. They're just being stupid, Kathy. Have you all actually considered and taken moments and going, you know what, maybe we do need to change things up a little bit? Because there's so many people to give relationship advice to tell a woman to be a little this. Don't be so bossy. Don't be so bossy.

You got to kind of play. Oh, save that for the boardroom and the bedroom. You need to take a second. Right? She made a total point. Like, you need to let him be the man. And that's a hard thing to hear sometimes. I leave when I dance.

Are you kidding? I get it. I was dancing about. We did like eight count of eight. And he goes, wait a minute. I lead, Susan. Always. No, that's the, we're strong women.

We're built to be strong and take care of ourselves. Why are men so intimidated by that? DJ? There are men that aren't. Come on, we got a man in the house. Well, that's tough for me to answer because. Because I'm with this one. This is the strongest, most stubborn, bullheaded, selfish, arrogant.

I can handle all of this. Don't mess with me. She's soft. She delivers it soft. This of this. This is who I'm with. I mean, so it's tough to, you have to be. Friends first.

Well, you have to. But you have to have some kind of confidence in yourself to be with a woman as strong as you, you, you have to. So where are they all? What rock are they hiding under? What would you change about us? We don't have enough time. Oh, absolutely.

See, that's the thing. And it always breaks my heart because we had plenty of conversations on our show about it with different women. Like, trying to alter or change anything about who you are to make this guy feel better about himself so that he can then ask you out. It's just too much of a game. And we're too, we're grown. We're adults at this point. We don't have time for this. One thing I learned that this is something I practice when you're in the restaurant.

You don't talk to the waiter, you let him talk to, that's like a chore for me. It's like, I get something to say, but I have to let the man take the lead. That was difficult. I have to let the man take the lead. That's still a thing? Does that register with you at all? No, really. I don't know.

That feels so weird, but maybe that's a generational, like, maybe older men feel differently about that. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. My husband would never be offended if I took the lead, you know he has he doesn't get threatened by my strength i think you nobody should no again i'm going to ask does he have an older brother or an uncle my boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now i'm seriously suspicious oh wait a minute sam maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit well dakota it's back to school week on the okay story time podcast so we'll find out soon

This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating.

He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend, really cheated with his professor or not. To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison

or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camp. are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months.

The first night was so overwhelming and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say hello, Ed. From a very rural background myself,

my dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear.

On 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes a stage available now listen to wisecrack on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts this is from hannah ulner i believe it's her name what is a good way and by the way hana if you know the answer or any of you in this room tell me what is a good way to start dating again after a long period of not wanting to date.

Any good advice on that? Somebody to ask me. Yeah. It's called call me. 1-800 call-county. I heard about the DMs. Oh, yeah, that's the other thing. We talk about sliding into our DMs.

Sliding to our DMs. Our DMs are frozen over. No, there's no sliding going on. Maybe there's a lockbox, guess. We don't know about. The lockbox, yeah. We need to move them. Oh, Jenny.

I like you, Jenny. We tried that too. that doesn't work. You see what I do that? What is the advice, anybody? Good way to start dating again. Yeah, for somebody who hasn't been dating for a while. I guess listen to your instincts. If you've been, if you've taken some time and you've done some work on yourself, you've found that quiet place to know who you are and find your strength as a woman, then listen to those instincts because they're not going to take you to the wrong place. Can I just tell you, everyone told me to go to golf courses because that's where single men are? I have pitched a tent for the

two months at a local golf course I haven't met one guy yet I mean a lot of them on the golf course they're laughing but they're all married like married I have another anonymous should we be more open to dating people long distance I think I think that's tough especially I at I feel like even at my age it would just feel like a time suck like why Why would I be wasting time, travel? Like, it depends on what you want. I mean, if you want a companion to see and to be around and to text and to have fun, but if you really want a partner who you're with day in and day out, that's not, you're just wasting time.

Unless you're okay with up and leaving. Yeah, but what if the person that you're madly in love with gets a job and has to go somewhere else? Oh, that's different. And you can't go with them. Like, how do you do that kind of long distance? Why can't you go with them? That was my difference. It's a different.

Are we established as a couple before we have? to move across country from each other. Oh, do you consider? Oh, yeah. I consider that. If we're already established and we're good to go, that's one thing. But starting initially, having to get to know somebody and a two-hour flight away. So what's been happening for the last couple of years around here is zero.

I'm open to always. Can I just say Ben Higgins, who we all know and love, we had him on our podcast, and he talked about when he met his now wife, that they always, every time they met, because they lived in different cities. That's a cute story. She was in Nashville. When they met, they would plan to see each other. Before they met, they would already have the next time plan.

And they would never be cry or sad. It would always be. Yeah, they promised no tears. I'll see you soon. And, you know, it worked for them. I think it's possible. I think it's difficult, but I think it's possible. I mean, what's long distance?

Europe? That would be a problem. Across the country. I think, you know, I've definitely. That was hard for my marriage. I know. I didn't foresee that happening. Is it New York, L.A. thing?

Yeah, like across the country, sometimes on location. Again, though, you had young children, right, Jenny? Three little girls. It was a big deal. We could do it, Susan. I do New York, L.A. constantly. We could do it. I would do it.

I would do it. I think once the kids come into the situation. We're beyond kids. We're good. That's the beauty of it. Jenny, and how long were you all not seeing each other? How long would you go without seeing you? your husband at the time?

Well, a shoot would be like at least four weeks. Oh, that's tough. That's a long time. But he was really good about trying to get back to the kids every week. He really did go back and forth a lot because it was easier for him to go back and forth, you know, than it was for me to take the girls. But we, you know, we tried and try. Is it true absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Like you miss him and when you did see each other, it was even more exciting? Or was it? I would say it was a mix of both. that and the total opposite of that. Listen, Susan, we cannot complain. If we get dates in L.A., you know damn right while you and I are going back and forth. Let's just cut to the chase there. What's home base for you two?

I'm in Philadelphia. I'm in Austin, Texas. Okay. But I'm ready to move. Okay. They're international. I like that. I would really tell you.

Listen, I have two grandchildren and two kids who live in Austin. And I love my family and I love my grandkids. That's what planes are for. I would go back and forth. I hear you. I could do that. It is one of those cool things now that I'm an empty nester, like the idea that like I can live wherever I need to live. This is a good one actually.

What do you value the most confidence, humor, attractiveness? Oh, this is a good one. Say them again. Kathy, guess what my answer is. What's more important to you, confidence, a sense of humor or attractiveness? All of the above. You need all of the above. Okay, you got to put them in order, though.

What's the most important? Ooh. I like to let you say attractiveness, it's what I'm attracted to, right? See, that's the thing. It's about being good looking. It's like being attracted. So let's say attractive. I would say attractive is number one because it's an umbrella for so many things.

Yeah, okay. Agreed. But I like to laugh, you guys. The humor's number two for me. Pumor is number two for me. You can't make me laugh. Humor to me is under one. It's unattractive.

Agreed. And that is like the huge thing. He and I, I've never laughed more with a human in my life. We need to laugh at him. Wait, so all he'll have put in confidence number three? I mean,

it's not. He can make you. I actually agree. Humor and confidence is absolutely under the umbrella of attraction. Yeah, that's the same. You wouldn't be attractive to me laugh. If a guy is, needy and boring.

No, thank you. He has confidence. You can't be funny and not be smart. No, no, no. It's so true. So being attractive, let me just sum this up here. Let me rank them all for you. Attractive is number one, two, three, four, and five.

Because under attractive comes attractive, good looking, smart, intelligent, sense of humor, compassionate, good sense of humor. Is that cover it? Financially stable. Anybody out there, 610, 5s it. and a house on Martha's Vinder What about a confident guy who has no sense of Juner?

No, thank you. No. Versus a really funny guy who is just kind of a little. Who's dumb? Who's an idiot? Yeah. Who's an idiot? Okay, next question.

No, no, no. Good, good job trying to sell that one. Okay, sorry. No. Next. Do you think people come into your life randomly or do you think it's the universe? Are you all universe? I'm universe.

Universe. I've been practicing. Listen, boy, I've been practicing. You see where I am right now, right? I think it's universe. Yeah. It's universe. Absolutely.

I just don't have a vision board. I think I need a vision board and put the man on there. Maybe that's what I'm doing wrong. You have it in your head. You need to get it out on a board. I believe the reason season lifetime. I really do. I think people come into your life for a reason for a season or for a lifetime.

What are I saying to her all the time? All of us. I say it to all the time. People come into your life for a reason or a season. And the season might be a lifetime. but it's not random. Yeah, I agree. I've come around to that.

A lot of randoms have come into my life, but that's a whole other conversation. I have come around to that thinking. I am sitting here in a room with you all. Full of women. Full of women, having glasses of wine, a prisoner. My glasses empty. College football game on having a good time with you all.

And the only reason I'm here is because everything had to go exactly the way it went. And I'm happy where I am. So that's why regret is such a difficult word. I would like to say that. I'm happy to where I am. But yes, I've come around. Can I just say, this guy's a walking hallmark car.

I did. No, no, but I think. We love watching Hallmark movies, by the way. Oh, my God. That's the best cry ever. We will sit there and laugh. We laugh. We laugh.

I cry. How many times have you been married? Two. Okay. Let's just say three and she'll be number three. Can I be number four? we stop at three we stop at three

damn I'm looking for my third oh wow look at this Kathy you know we have a long night ahead of us with this one slow your pace

this is an interesting question do people think rejection is better than regret no no you should pick another one that one doesn't even count

meaning it'd be better if somebody rejected you rather than you You're staying with them and then you regretting being with them. Would you rather be rejected than have time, I guess, if you look at it from that perspective, I guess what your mom said, better to know in five months than in five years. So if someone had to reject you for you to know it wasn't right versus waiting and wasting years and then regretting it? I mean, I'm too many Pilsner's into.

I understand what you just said. I think I hear you. Like I would want to know. Yeah. It's like ripping the Band-Aid off. Rather feel the pain now than slowly have it peeled off. Rejection stings, but you heal.

Yeah. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes,

my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, him, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and

they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale,

listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York state number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training.

These programs aimed to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio,

app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed. Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not, like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story. that no one expected to hear. The 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house.

So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack. crack on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If the man you're dating is paying alimony to his ex-wife, how are you supposed to plan your

future? Do you need to hold off on pressuring him? Pressuring him? Pressuring for what? You should never pressure a man to marry you, ever, period. Exactly. I firmly believe that. Like, do not give ultimatums? Is she pressuring him about the alimony? I think he's pressuring him to get in a relationship, but he has to pay alimony? She wants him to be focused on her and her finances. I'm sorry.

No. Paying alimony to an ex-wife is a payment. It is a, it's a part of life. There's no emotion involved in. In fact, the emotion is, damn, when does alimony going to be over, right? And the verb pressuring should never be in a woman's vocabulary. I don't think. It's not going to end well.

No. If you have to pressure a man to be with you, it's not going to end well. Susan, that's another thing we've just learned. I don't pressure. I'm joking. See, I did that right too. Wait, but I don't even know what would pressure look like. When are we getting married?

What all you're doing is paying money to your ex-wife? Everything's folks in our future. What about our future? What about our future? Where's my diamond ring? Where's my diamond ring? What about our house? You're paying so much money to Louise.

that you don't have enough money to focus on me. That does not sound like a good time. It does not sound healthy. I don't want to be there. I don't want to be there. Nope. I don't want to be there. Okay, another anonymous.

I agree. When you're on round two, is it okay to keep dating if you aren't sure there is a future? When do you have the what are we conversation? The what are we conversation? I'm looking for number two. I think you have the conversation when you want to know.

like let's not play games when it's the question when i want to know what we are i'm going to ask what are we wait a minute if you if you have to ask i'm i'm not saying this is true if you have to ask what are we does that say send a message no i think that there i actually we had a conversation and we talked about this we remembered exactly where we were when we said what are we doing and what are we and you know yeah what are we doing like we know how we feel but what are we doing are we going from here is that part of it you know i'm at a point in my life where if we're If I'm going to be with you, this is what I want. And if you don't want the same thing, let's establish this now.

I think that's fair. Did you do the same thing? And that's very mature knowing yourself too. I admire that. You get to a certain age and that's just where you are because of age, mostly. Yeah, you've learned some things. You don't have time. You just don't have time to waste time.

Okay. What I want to know, did either of you have this conversation with, did you guys, you did have it? Right. Did you have it, Jenny? Tell me what conversation. Did you have the conversation with yours? What are we? Yeah.

What are we? What are we? Did you have that conversation with your husband? Or was it a natural thing in your both on the same page? Yeah, I don't think we ever. A lot of times that happens. But we did not wait very long. We were, it was a very fast and furious.

That works. Damn. Yeah. I'm very impulsive. So I think we, you know, we learned about each other after we had already like jumped in. Yeah. Which might have been really hard. people how fast was i'm i mean if you don't mind my asking how fast okay that's so hard for me then she said

he is ooh not the one how do we get from the who i think we got engaged can i leave this dinner to you were engaged three weeks later i think we got engaged three months later oh my goodness yeah nine months late okay susan tonight when we go out for dinner with these great folks we're going to look at every guy and go ooh you want to get married in three months that's what we're doing you were engaged to Ew after three months, right? Yeah. Oh, wow. That's amazing.

That's funny. But the ooh changed to, yeah. Okay. I get it. Like the next day. I feel it. That's so funny. But you put that in our head because we're going out with him tonight.

He's just Mr. Ew to us the whole night. Oh my God. No. We're just kidding too. We're not going to do that. By the way, your husband's a very, I just met him. He's a very handsome man.

Yeah. He's very attractive. Very handsome. You saw I went up and hug them and didn't shake any hand. I know. He was not ooh to me. And then he said, I'm a hugger. I don't think he knew what to do.

He was like, who is this woman hugging? He was very comfortable, Kathy. He's, you know, his name is Dave. He's Dave. He's very easy-going. He's kind of Dave. You know, he's very easy-going, easy to get along with. All right.

You got the book. Oh, geez. You got the long one this time. Okay, this is, we're going to go deep for a second. Okay. I think. Okay. My big problem is I've been in domestic violence.

violence, relationships. I told you. And I freak out and isolate myself when it comes to talking with guys now. I'm so afraid to get hurt or cheated on. I freeze up. Can someone give me some advice on how to approach men or some good opening lines? We can't pretend to be experts. I mean, that's something going on there that I wouldn't ever. therapy you've got to work on yourself to understand but i can from that perspective my god if you've been through that experience how could you ever open yourself up and be willing to put yourself out there so that's difficult but the thing is you that's what you almost have to do push it you have to give us a good opening line for a woman to say to a man hi hi it's okay it's about smiling about eye contact

And who you are, I just, I hate ever feeding somebody, try this line or try this move or do this thing. There's no book. It's okay to be you and to, I don't know the age on that person either, but it's just, that's heartbreaking to think you're in a position why you just can't be yourself, it can't be natural and don't change. Always have a guard up, but we can certainly understand why. Yeah, and I think, you know, you, DJ, you've, I was actually kind of interested in something you told me, you said, I don't know why women think that men want you to play hard

to get or men want you to play games. Like men actually want to know that you like them. Men want to know that you're interested in them. Because they say don't be available, say no. TJ was like, be a straight shooter. And that's the kind of person you want to be with someone who wants to know, who doesn't want to play games, who doesn't want to like pretend to need to chase you. like we're all, especially if you've been through some shit and it sounds like she certainly has. Shouldn't she want an adult mature relationship? And that involves starting at a place of realness and authenticity.

And I think when you show someone who you are, if they don't want to be with you, good, then you know up front. Like if you can just be yourself, I would just say, yeah, you have to be willing. I know it's scary to be vulnerable, but to be yourself. Because that's the only way you're going to get an authentic love in return. absolutely and when you see a red flag believe it's a red flag when someone shows you who they are yes believe them okay we've been told we got time for one more is it yeah here you want to take no it's oh i please my love gentlemen take it last one here wow okay it says it's directed at me

actually oh wow perfect choice save the best for left oh man you're gonna you too gonna love this Is it acceptable to set one of your guy friends up? Yes. With more than one of your female friends or is that in bad taste? Why don't you all take it then? I mean, as long as you're honest about to say, hey, I don't know who he's going to like. My first reaction was, well, but I guess you're right. Like, let's be realistic.

I think it's okay. For me, I think when you read that, I had this visceral, response which is if if if if tj sets and i'm praying he does sets me up with someone he knows i want at least have the opportunity to explore where our relationship could go with his friend without feeling like it's a i'm a meat part of a meat market like hey i got 10 girlfriends here you know which i would want the opportunity and and then if if tj's friend said kathy it's been real so you don't like the idea i don't like the i don't like i don't want to be, I don't want to be considered one of a pack. I don't. I don't. It's just like going on

the best. It's like going on a dating site. I don't want to be shocked, if that makes sense. I think most guys would not do that out of respect for their friends. I think the female friends I have now, the guy friends I would never start mixing. I would personally on your own without the women know and give him an option, show them both, talk about both people that you'd like them to meet and let him make that decision. Yeah, but one at a time, right? I'm not saying fix him up with both. Let him look at both, and he makes the decision.

So, T.J., the answer is, Kathy first, Susan, second. Every time I see you, I start, we start wrecking our worrying about who we know. And then they forget. And then they forget. And then they forget. But, T.J, I know we're coming home with you this time. We're coming home this time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and I do like what you said, because I think that no one wants to think they're being, it's almost like an agent trying to push their clients. I gotta be better than her. All for like whoever you want, but I got several to pick from it.

That feels icky like a tattle call or something. Yeah. No, I appreciate the fact that you let one relationship see if it works. If it doesn't and then and only then when you say, would you mind if yes. And you know what? I would hope that if, you know,

if Dave fixed Susan or me up with someone, I would hope that that friend would come to Dave and say, you know, I really like Susan, but now I really like to meet Kathy. Susan wasn't all I thought she would be, but Kathy is. Notice how she named that, you know. Notice the order that way. If it were a good friend, I would hope that person would come to you and say, well, being true to yourself.

Being true, right? You know, she was great, but I don't think she's for me. And there's nothing wrong with that. I would feel better about that then. Susan, how was your date? I don't know. How was your date? What did you talk about, Kathy?

What did you talk about? Really? He said that to you. Did he tell me that? What do you say about me? He told me he doesn't, he doesn't, he told me he prefers petite brunettes. Oh, yeah, we were, we were on that show. But you know what?

I love being with you guys doing this is great. We got to schedule this more often. You want to our listeners, this is a true story. The five of us are going out tonight together. And I mean, we're going out hard. We're not just going and having it happen. Oh, no, we got a long night ahead, so hopefully we can do an episode about that later. But keep your questions coming to us.

Again, if you are single and ready to find your person, or you want to ask us more questions about love and dating and relationships, this is what we want you to do to do. You can call us at 18444-4-4-4-4-4-4-6-7-3. Email us, I-do pod at iHeartRadio.com. That's I-do pod at our heartradio.com. We're on Instagram and TikTok at I-do Part 2. pod also all this info will be in the show notes and make sure to rate and review the podcast this is i do part two and iHeart radio podcast we're falling in love is the main objection what if i open my own dating service like i could fix people up what do you think wait i just

want to finish a new business what's this what you said we're here for love yeah we're here to fall in love falling in love is the main objective that's why we're here do it do it you We never know when to stop. I know. I'm sorry. All right. Thank you all for listening to this all. Wait.

We're not doing that yet. Wait. We're not. We're not. All right. We'll see you. You want part three? We got this.

My boyfriend's professor. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota. Luckily, it's just looking for extra credit. Back to School Week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Culture eats strategy for breakfast, right? On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Belisha Butterfield, media founder, political strategist, and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman. From the Obama White House to Google, to the Grammys, Valicia's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change.

Listen to Culture Raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzor. Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

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