The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Another Lonely Bachelorette

Episode Date: November 16, 2024

We got a call from another former Bachelor contestant, and we put Jana Kramer on the case. It’s a tale as old as time, “once a cheater always a cheater”?? We’re desperate for the answer.   Plus, will this former housewife make the perfect wing-woman for our lonely bachelorette?  Ready to find love again? Want dating advice?Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect.

And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell.

And the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. This technology is already solving so many. cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, guys. It's your other host for ID Part 2, Jana Kramer. I'm jumping in. I loved hearing

Elizabeth story. I'm so excited for her. But we have someone else that we're going to have on. She's a listener of I do Part 2. And she's actually really good friends with Elizabeth. So I'm really excited to get her on. But first, I want to play you Rebecca's voice memo that she sent in to be on the show. Let's give it a listen. Hi, my name is Rebecca. I listen to your podcast and I would be interested in participating. Thank you. I mean, hey, short and sweet. And she just is like ready to get into it. So let's do it. Let's get Rebecca on. And let's help her find some love. Hey. How are you? I'm good. I'm so happy to be talking to you. We just listened to your voice memo. And I loved it because it was like, hey, I listen to the show. I want to be on. Like, let's do this. It was just very to the

point, very, like, very direct. And I'm here for that. So we had the first part of the show, we had your girlfriend Elizabeth on and obviously she was from The Bachelor too and then I was reading your stuff and you are you were also on The Bachelor. You were on Brad's season. How did you guys meet? Because you were on different seasons. So after you get off the show, you're part of this like crazy Bachelor family. Right. And you get invited to all the events. And so I was invited to a charity event and it was like a clean up the beach in Venice kind of a thing. And so we were both at that same event together. Okay. And then it was just like fast friends or? Yeah. Well, I actually saw Elizabeth walking down the beach and I was like, oh gosh, not this girl. She was like so catty on the show and she just

was portrayed really bad. And she knows as I've told her that. So I was like, oh, don't pair me with her. and then we were paired together, but she's amazing. She's not who they portrayed on the show. And she's such a sweetheart. We've been best friends for 14 years. We've literally been through everything together. So it's been amazing to have her in my life. I'm so glad we were paired together.

Right. I know. It's interesting, God's little interventions. So you got sent home the first night. Is that what I read on Brad's? I did. What? Okay.

what was that like? What was that feeling like? And then also, why do you think you were sent home on the first night? Is there something where is this, is this a thing in your dating world where you're like, maybe I didn't put forth more effort or what do you think it was? So going on the first night is a little deflating because you, there's so much work up to it that you spend months talking to producers and just like them prepping you and getting you ready for the show and then you get there and it's night.

you're so excited meeting all the girls like everyone was super nice um i really wanted to stay for that i liked the friendship that i was building i wasn't looking to be on a reality tv show i just felt like this was god's funny plan to like introduce me to my husband like okay cool i'm gonna go on some show um and i feel like maybe i wasn't reality tv enough for them like the producers kind of wanted me do a little bit more like chasing around. I was the first person in Bachelor history to kiss the guy right out of the limo. And I feel like it was then like, okay, no, I want you to go find him and kiss him again. I'm like, that's not me.

Like, I want to be authentic to who I am and not put on a, you know, a show. So I kind of feel like that's why I went home because I wasn't kind of doing what they wanted me to do. But it was a fun experience. All right. So post-Bachelor then, you ended up, how long were you married for with your husband? I was with my ex for seven. Well, we were married for seven years. Seven years. Okay. When I was reading your breakdown, I was just like, oh, I relate so much to your story. Because it said, you know, you were set up with your ex-husband right after the bachelor. They dated for a little over a year. Then you broke up. I'm curious. And then you found out you're pregnant. So then you guys reconciled. Why did you guys break up in the beginning? I just had this intuition.

I just felt like he was cheating on me and there was a lot of lies. The relationship was super dysfunctional, but I was so lost. I didn't, I was broke down. My self-esteem was completely gone. I felt like this is the best I can do. I'm 30 years old. I want to be married. You didn't have kids and this is what's out there.

So, you know, and I finally listened to my. my gut and said, I'm out. I can't do this anymore. This is not right. And I felt like this overwhelming peace and relief when it was done. And then I found out two days later that I was pregnant. And I was like, oh, gosh, what do I do now? This is, I mean, truly the same kind of story, too. I was 30. I really wanted to have kids. And so it was that. But I had just found out that he cheated on me. And we were only dated. We only dated for, gosh, like, a month before I found out that he cheated on me the first time. And if that wasn't the biggest red flag ever.

But I really, truly, I was like, well, I'm 30. I really want to have kids. And I, you know, people make mistakes. And Lord, I've made a million. And so I tried to kind of talk my way through his stuff. But then, you know, same with you. So married for seven years, ex-husband had 10 plus affairs. And I was just like, oh my gosh, I'm like, am I reading my own story?

Because, I mean, what I know of in the first one was 13 in the first year of our marriage. So then women after that were, you know, I think I know of like five or six more. But I mean, when there's 15, you know, it's like. But for you, when was the first time that you caught him in an episode? affair or did he tell you like what was that like no i um he had actually just come back he's a fireman he plays bagpipes and he was at a bagpipe event for several days and then came home and that night his phone was laying on his chest and it was lit up in the middle of the night i went i got up we had a uh gosh brunley was six weeks old still sleeping in our room and a bouncy thing on the

floor. And he picked his phone up and put it on the nightstand and saw mistex from Kyle. And I was like, okay, cool, who's Kyle? Went to the bathroom, came back and just this gut feeling like go look at his phone. And I'd never felt that way before. I would have never in a million years thought he would cheat. And so I picked up the phone and took it downstairs and it happened to be unlocked, which was never, but like he always had a lock like a password on it. I was able to find several different women that he had been texting extremely inappropriate things while he's laying in bed next to me. I confronted him that night about it. And how many years into the marriage was that?

This was a year. A year. I got pregnant just after we got married with our second child. And she was six weeks. So it had just been a year. um or jess under just barely shy of a year but he swore it was never in person it was only text messages it would never happen again so i kind of just kept this dirty little secret and like lies lies lies lies lies lies and then a year later he took me to a mountain top and like confessed that he had

lied and he had been seeing these women and i basically did a tell all like you have a one day get out of jail free card i need to know everything Disclose anything for tomorrow or I'm gone. And I just sat there counting like, oh my gosh, how many more are there? Like, this is insane. So there was 10 he admitted to that day. And then I stayed for five years trying to fix the marriage because, of course, if I could be perfect and I could be good enough and I could have the cleanest house and the best kids and be in the best shape and all the things, he would love me, right? he would choose me because I always chose him and I found again women on his phone five years later

and that was I mean I can't continue in that cycle so he actually a mutual friend of ours recently asked him like hey man you know Rebecca says you've been cheating or you cheated on her and that's why she left and he was like oh gosh I lost track of how many people I cheated on her with like it was something wrong about wow I feel like it's one extreme or the other. I remember my ex when I did my table talk with Jada Pinkett Smith. The girl he was dating

at the time, he's like, oh, 13 women, I'd love to know who those were. And I'm like, so it's like they either lie. I'm like, oh, oh, would we like to go back? Because I can pull up the the Rolodex. I called all of them. Hold on. Yeah. It's kind of on the phone. Or, you know,

or they just, yeah, I'm like, what is that? Like, why is that? It's not a bragging right, dude. you know like that's not something to brag about totally i didn't and i actually told our friend like you can ask him if you really want to i go but he's not going to why would he admit that would you admit that it makes you look bad and then that he bragged about it i was like wow okay i guess he's admitting it my boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now i'm seriously suspicious oh wait a minute sam maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit well

Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age.

And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he's. He now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor.

And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh, my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.

Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately from Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State. number and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional

programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aimed to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Did he ever come out to say that he was a sex addict or he had a problem or what was his excuse, I guess, or what was his

rationalization with it all. Yeah. So after he admitted to the affairs, he's sort of going to a sex addict therapist and he had all these things in place. He was going to go to therapy and go to recovery and go to, he was, you know, we joined like a life group with our church and he was all in just going to be the best husband ever and deal with his past and a lot of it's, you know, blamed on the upbringing and daddy. issues and things like that. So it was never like, he never really took, I guess, like, blame for it. It was always someone else's fault as to why that was happening, why he was making those choices. I'm so sorry you had to go through that because, I mean, it is, it is the worst, worse pain possible, especially since you have, you know,

two beautiful daughters. And, you know, I definitely get, it's, it's so hard. And for the longest time, I stayed for my kids and then realizing the last time I found out about, the next round of affairs was my again breaking point because after a while you're like all right this is a seven year cycle that he's not changing yeah his words are just now I don't believe anything he says because every time it just keeps happening again and again and you wonder you know I still there were times when I'm like maybe this time is the time he's going to change maybe like he finally realized it but then you just come to that I don't actually even care if he if he does because I can't stick around to find out.

Yep. And for you, you know, now that you've been single for how many years, two years? I've been single for four. Our divorce has been final for two, but I left four years ago. Okay. Have you been in serious relationships since your divorce? I would say one maybe semi-serious relationship. It didn't last long, but we were friends for like six months prior.

or two actually getting into the relationship. And so the feelings came on pretty quickly since we had known each other for so long. But just the one. And where are you at now with love? Do you want to find love? Do you want to get married again? You know, where are you at with that? Yeah.

I do actually. I believe in marriage. I think that there are good people out there. I don't believe everyone is my ex. um i've been through a lot i did gosh three or four years of trauma therapy um i did EMDR to just work through triggers and all of that i everything i so i finally feel like i'm like a whole complete person i feel like in the beginning i didn't want to jump into something because i didn't want to bring my past into my current relationship um but yeah i i i just i struggle with believing that i'm

picking the right person. I was so tricked the first time. And I don't, I mean, I just don't trust that I'm going to pick someone who's not going to completely love for me. And then I'm going to find out, you know, when it's too late that, oh, wait, this isn't who I thought he was. Yeah. I mean, it definitely is really hard to trust yourself post-divorce. I mean, I kind of fell into that same thing where after I got divorced, I essentially picked kind of the same dude. Yeah. after my divorce. And then, you know, what my therapist always said, though, is, you know, in that situation, I go, God, I failed again.

I picked someone that was so similar and was not who he said he was. And she goes, but you figured it out sooner this time. You know, you're not seven years in. She's like, you were a couple months in. And she's like, and you were able to see the red flags and you were able to get out. She's like, that is in itself, you know, victory. Right? And like you're, that right there proves that you can trust yourself a little bit.

And then you can trust yourself more than every time you do it. And I think I have a girlfriend right now that's also, you know, she's newly divorced and she's dating. And it's almost just like I told her, I said, go out and just meet as many people. Like take inventory of it all. You know, like see what you actually want. Because when she was in a long marriage for a long time and she's like, the guys and what I've noticed too, and what you probably can see with your ex now is like they showed you who they were all along. It was just up to us to really go, okay, this is this is who they are, not what they smoke clouds of

who they were making them up to be. Yeah, I believe what they show you and not what they say. Yeah, well, and that's like how I think with trust. Everyone's like, how do you trust your husband now? And I'm like, for me, it's he says what he, like, he does what he says and he says what he does. you know, like he's his words and his actions match every single day. And that to me is how I can trust, you know, my husband now because before my ex-husband, there was, his words and actions never aligned, ever, which is why I was like, but, and then I was made to feel like the crazy one. I'm like, but you said this. You're doing, like, how, like, how does this make sense? Yeah. Because it never, it's just like crazy making. And then they make us feel crazy. Yeah. Like, no, I didn't

say that. I said this. And that's not how this happened. Sometimes, I just wanted like cameras on the walls like you know I want to play back the film that's not what you said this is not how this went down why do I feel like a crazy person did I say that you start to like question right your own sanity in the world of dating now are you are you on apps like what are you doing to get out there to date oh no I did the apps I hate the apps they're awful yeah I feel like I don't know it's like a diamond and a rough you know, it's so hard to find someone who genuinely wants being a relationship and it's more of like a hookup culture on the apps or ghosting. Like you start talking to someone all of a sudden

you're like, where did you go? I thought we were having a really good conversation now you're gone. Right. So I got off the apps about eight, nine months ago and I don't know. Like where do you meet people? Like I always say I want to meet someone in the wild. Like we outside, the grocery store. Like, I feel like in my 20s, people would approach you, like, you know, at the bars or when you're just out doing life. And I go out by myself all the time. Like, I, I, when I don't have my kids, I can't just stay cooped up in the house. And so I'll go out to a bar or a restaurant and have dinner and sit by myself and nobody. Oh, I love that.

Really? Nobody. Ever. That doesn't. I really find that hard to believe because you're, you're beautiful. And the fact that you're going out there too, it shows you have confidence to go sit there and have, you know, dinner by yourself. And are you the kind of person that will approach somebody else? I don't, sort of.

Like, so like I encourage my friends too when we're out. I'm like, oh, you see a cute guy. Go talk to him. But then I have this like old school mentality. I want to be pursued. Like I want someone to have a confidence that come up to me and like just boldly be like, hey, let's talk. Let's go hang out. Let's have dinner together.

or something. So I don't know if that feels like pursuing someone else if I'm like, hey, let's talk. Well, here's an interesting thought because you live in California, right? Mm-hmm. Okay, well, I'm going to be in California for the I heart jingle ball fest. So is your friend Elizabeth. And so is my friend, Kelly Bensamom. So would you want to come?

Actually, let's get, can we get Kelly on? and then maybe we can entice you to come to jingle ball with us and then we can try to set you up with someone. Does that sound like a plan? Let's get Kelly on. Kelly, whenever, I feel like whenever I find someone that has been, that has the similar pass like I've had with the cheating ex-husband for multiple, multiple, multiple years and multiple women, I have this like ride or die vibe that I'm like, I want to just go out and find, help find you love because I feel like I got lucky with my aftermath of that terrible traumatic years of my life that I'm like, Kelly, we got to help my girl Rebecca out.

Hi, Rebecca. How are you? Hello. Should we all go to Jingleball and then just pimp out our girl Rebecca and just see what she's doing wrong. Help her because I am like world's best wing woman. Oh my God, me too. I am like there for you.

I'm so excited. But Kelly, you're also single though. So I'm like, I'm going to have to like, we're going to have to like, we're going to have to like, you know. We'll have to find two guys. Two dudes. Three. Elizabeth will be there.

We need three good guys. Yes. Rebecca, it's going to be so much fun. We're going to have the best time. And you know what? You know what the thing is too? It's like when you're in a good mood with fun, with friends that you really like, then you meet like really great people.

So I'm super excited to hang out with you. And we're going to have the best time. Rebecca, are you in? I'm in. Let's do it. Oh, my gosh. I love this so much. it's another opportunity to put yourself in a place where you might not have gone.

And then the fact that, you know, all those girls will be there. So we'll be definitely root and yawn. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Well, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them.

I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend, really cheated with his professor or not. To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips.

And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness. Psychobabble Yes, yes Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you

Open your free IHeartRadio app Search Emergency Intercom And listen now My name is Ed Everyone say hello Ed From a very rural background myself My dad is a farmer And my mom is a cousin

So like it's not like What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke But that really was my reality nine years ago I just normally do straight stand-up but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear.

On 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes a stage available now listen to wisecrack on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts what are you most nervous about with finding your next love and then what are you most looking forward to um like i said nervous about the red flags like just not seeing something and somebody um kind of getting stuck

second that like moving too fast because when you really like someone you know like it tends to go quickly but i don't want i don't want to like rush into the next relationship but i also don't want to like put my last relationship like in the forefront of my new one right i don't want to hold that against the next person where like they do something and then i'm comparing it to my last relationship do they do you ever get to the point where you're not just like looking for red flags the entire time you're dating somebody? Hmm. I mean, yeah, I was looking like for the first couple,

probably, I mean, mine only lasted for the first couple months. I feel like I moved, only like the first month I was like trying to figure out the red flags. But when I wasn't finding any, and I'm like, all right, I'm jumping all, like, head in. Because I feel like everyone's, or feet first, but everyone always says, well, don't go too fast, don't go too fast.

But I also know people that have met someone and fast, and then they have the most amazing marriage years, years in. So, yeah, I jumped in fast with my ex, too, but it was so different from my now husband. Yeah. There's like that confidence. You felt peace that, like, he was actually, that he was. Yeah. I mean, I agree.

I agree, too. Like, right now, like you and I, Rebecca, are in the same kind of headspace. And, you know, I just am, like, open to meeting new people. And I haven't really like thought about, you know, I'm not trying to put any like boundaries or parameters on anyone. I'm just trying to be like, okay, I'm really interested and I want to know more about you. And my friends are saying to me, you have to ask questions. So I'm not a question asker. I am a just like hang out with you, kind of feel who you are.

But I'm not like, why did you guys get divorced? What was your last marriage like? You know, I'm just not like that. Oh, my God. I am so that person. I'm like, why would happen? Did you cheat? Did you do that? Like, I'm like, I have to know every. And that's, that's like, maybe my toxic trait. I don't know. But I just like, let's get to it. Because I don't want to waste my time. I've got two kids at home. Like, I'm not wasting any time. Yeah. How soon do you, like, do you introduce your kids to, like, I feel like when you have feelings for, like, I don't want to fall in love with someone and then like introducing to my kids and my kids and that person don't jive. And I'm like, sorry, see ya. What do you do with that? that. I kind of always did like the three month rule. I don't know if that was. And so I only introduced them to, you know, so an ex and then my now husband. But I was, yeah, three months is kind of what I was. But what my ex and I kind of agreed to. But it's more, it's hard because when

you're in your 40s, I feel like things just move faster anyways. At least for me it did. Because it's like you just cut the bullshit and you go straight too. all right. What does this look like? And because you have to be, I feel like you have to cut the bullshit when you've got kids. Yeah. Yeah. Dating with a purpose. I'm not just dating for fun. Like I'm dating. Exactly. To meet someone long term. We're not on Tinder. You know what I mean? Yeah. So I mean, my kids are so much older. They're 24 and 26. And so they're the ones that when we're out, they're like, mommy, he's good looking. Mommy, he looks like something that you would like. And so it's weird because like they're with me and I'm like no no you're not supposed to be like out here with

me in the jungle you guys are supposed to be like foraging your own path like leave me alone um but it's been really sweet um to see them but when they were younger like you know i mean i you know work with a lot of different men and people and you know they never even thought for one minute like if i was dating someone at last until like they came to like dinner like we would have like a dinner and they'd be like oh like you know we just want to all have fun and And, but I never, like, made, like, an actual introduction until, you know, I was, I was, you know, really considering being with them. And I, and, you know, even with my last relationship, you know, he had kids. And I just was like, hold off on the kids.

Let's, you know, I'm not, you know, Barbie. Let's just keep everything like, you know, I'm not the fun friend over here. Like, all the kids, you know, when they're younger, they're like, oh, she had babysit. I'm like, no, no, I'm not the baby. She's a babysitter. one guy went on that day with for Halloween and I was Bam Bam and his little daughter was like my babysitter's here oh no no no no I'm not the babysitter so that brings another question like so everyone parents so differently like I did this guy so the guy that I was in a relationship with like we parented very different it's like when is it okay like or is it okay to like step in and be like hey something's got to change here like it like it's In order to mingle two families together, right, in order to have like, he has kids,

I have kids and we're going to parent and be married, like, when do you start, like, disciplining someone else's kids or having a say in how they parent or, I mean, both ways. I'm not a perfect parent. None of us are perfect. Sure. You're a parent. We're winging it. But, like, like, why can you get involved?

I feel like my, my husband did a good, a good job with that where he, it, it's, took him, I mean, he's just now is, because I've asked him too, because I'm like, I can't always be, because the kids are with me 70% of the time, with us 70% of the time. So they're only at their dad's, like, eight days a month. And so it's like, for us, it's like, I'm like, I can't be the only person that is disciplining the kids because then they're not going to even want to be here. Because if I'm always like, guys, guys, guys, and riding them all the time. So I was like, Alan, I really need you to step in and, like, when you hear Jolie or Jace, you know, start to mouth off or do something and they're really good kids so it's not like that a lot but still i'm like

i need like i need that support so that i'm not the only parent doing that and so he's like yeah now that you know we're married and you know but it's not i i my mom still has that like at the end of the day we're still the ones that are like guys stop it or let's go or you know but um i think it's just in time you you you'll know the and they'll know and you'll know when the right time is to be like hey, that doesn't fly here, or we don't do that. So I don't think there's like a time per se, but I think it's just more of like a,

I don't think it's, I don't think the guy should come right in and start disciplining the second they move into the house or start being on your kids. Obviously that wouldn't be cool because then they're not going to like the guy. But I think it's just, it's a gradual thing.

I guess like when my kids were younger, you know, we all, just to give them a framework, I used to like always say like Ben Simone's have rules. rules. We do things in a certain way. And so then my kids would then say Ben Simone's have rules. This is what we do. So it was interesting because like it was the different dynamic.

My kids were saying this is how we do things. This is our framework. Basically like you either come on board with us or we're not going to listen to you. They're like, Jeddy, you have to meet my kids. I mean, oh my God. Rebecca, too. Oh, my God. I can't wait for you to meet them. They're such great kids. But I've been so lucky that they were so, just solid, just very, especially living in New York. I mean, I think that raising kids in New York is just like very, very difficult. And I was just really proud to raise them and to have them be who they are. But, you know, they, I kept instilling in them, like Ben Simone's have rules.

And I would say that around my ex as kids, like Ben Simone's have rules and this is what we do and this is how we do things. That meet, that's not like their rules. that's like here's our framework if you guys want to come and play in our sandbox like this is what we do um so that's not what i did but i i think it's always like just that like you don't know until you're in it do you know what i mean like you might feel really loving you might be like oh my god this person needs you know like you know we're nurturing and we want you know the best for the kids and um but sometimes you know the fathers they really do know i mean sometimes they're really good about parenting kids. And sometimes they're like, oh, these are the rules. I'm like,

you don't even have kids. You don't know what the rules. You don't know what you're talking about. Just enjoy it. Just enjoy the family and have fun and like eat the cookies and go home. Yeah. And I think, you know, to not get ahead of ourselves either where it's like let's just baby, not baby step it in, but let's just, you know, the first step is getting you to iHeart jingle ball. And then after that, it's finding, connecting you with someone that, A deserves your love and that is worthy of your love and that will protect your heart and all this because, you know, like you said, and I agree too, not every, not every man is like our X. And so, you know, that's the mission is to go, to go, you know, find, to find the love that we all

deserve because they are out there and maybe we just, you know, we were looking at the signs and we didn't really pay attention to them as we should. But now we are paying attention. And, you know, I think that's what's important now is we have a better set of eyes on things. And we're, you and I are in it together, Rebecca. So it's like any time that you're like, oh my God, that reminds me of something like,

I'm here for you. So, you know, we can talk about, talk about, talk through. You know, I'm going to be a good sounding board for you because we're like on the same level. and, you know, we're both going through it together. So, you know, and I'm going to need you too. I'm going to be like, wait a minute, what do we do here? What happened?

Well, it's going to be so, so fun. So along with your friend Elizabeth, Rebecca, you are going to join us at our jingle ball concert in Los Angeles Friday, December 6, presented by Capital One. You gals are going to come out with Kelly Benzimon and our other celebrity mentors who are going to really see if you've got the skills

and what you need to flirt and maybe make a love connection at the show. So you never know. It's going to be a fun night and you're going to get some great tips and confidence to take with you into the dating scene. Our mentors are going to help you with that flirting since you admit you're not really good at that. So get ready, Rebecca. We're coming for you and we're coming to L.A. to come scoop you up and take you to IHeart Jingle Ball. Awesome. Thank you guys. We're going to have the best time. All right. We'll see you soon. Okay. Bye. And my husband can help us also be a wing man. You know, so he can, he's got a really good eye

for for you know the bad ones so perfect you tell me all the people not to talk to perfect okay all right awesome bye guys this podcast is all about you guys the listeners who are ready to put yourselves out there so if you want dating advice or you're ready to find love again that's what we're here for we want to get to know you call us 1844 for i do pod or email us at Ido pod at iHeartRadio.com. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at I do part two pod. All this information will be in the show notes. Make sure to rate and review the podcast.

I do part two and IHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult.

But it happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the host of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me. New episodes every Wednesday on Exactly Right.

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