The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Are Men Mostly Looking For Sex In Chapter Two?

Episode Date: June 6, 2026

Real-life singles Mr. Right and Louise go head-to-head to see if men and women REALLY think the same! Do you have to tell someone when you are dating other people? Are men wanting sex or companionship more in chapter two? The answers might surprise you! Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey guys, it's us. The Jonas Brothers. I'm Joe. I'm Kevin. And I'm Nick. And guess what? We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas.

We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions. Well, sick and tired is a strong way to put it. But, you know, tired and sick. Tired and sick.

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Listen to two T's in a pod on the I-Heart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is, getting a racist statue removed. And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is. Getting a new one put up in its place. I'm Akela Hughes, and Rebel Spirit Season 2 is about both of those things. As I was watching these statues come down, I was thinking about what it meant that I grew up in a majority black city, in which there were more homages to enslavers than there were to enslave people. Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome to I Do Part 2, and it's your real-life mentors. People, single, just like you. It's Mr. Wright and my partner. Louise. And today we're going to do something fun. We're going to take a bunch of hot topic questions and kind of see as men and women where our answers differ and where they actually might line up. And just to keep everything fair, we have producer Heather that's going to be our referee. She's going to make sure we stay on time and on topic and make sure that we are giving our best versions of these answers with the most honesty, directness, even if we may not agree. This is perfect. I'm happy to jump in and I'll ask you guys the questions and then you'll give your honest responses. So Mr. Wright, we'll kick it off with you. Who should text first after you meet someone new? I'm going to put 20 seconds on the clock.

Well, I think it's going to be the guy. And, you know, I don't want to steal Louise's line earlier. But, you know, chivalry is not dead. And I think it's kind of... stole my line, Mr. Wright. This is my 20 seconds. This is Heather. Throw a flag. He's fiery. I think it's the guy's responsibility to make that first leap and to reach out. Perfect.

That was 20 seconds. There we go. Okay. So Louise, 20 seconds on the clock, you give me your answer. I 100% feel that across the board, the guy should absolutely text first. It's how I'm raising my sons. And I know, you know, obviously different generations have different perspectives, but I strongly believe, now that we're sharing our line, Mr. Wright, that chivalry is not dead.

Perfect. We agree. Both in 20 seconds and you agree. It's like the dating game. Wow. This is a quick follow up, though, and I'm not going to put time on this. But I want to know, though, okay, so does that mean, you know, you exchange numbers with a guy?

Either he asks for yours. a woman should never be the first one to initiate conversation. That was so great. Or here's the picture I took of us. That was so fun meeting you out on the golf course today. Like, no, you both made faces just now. I know nobody can see this but me, but you both kind of made faces when I said that.

No, listen, I'll say if there was something pertinent, if there was something that happened that would make the woman text first or reach out first, go for it. I'm just thinking, if it's a stalemate, you walk away. you're both kind of grinning, you're both kind of happy with what happened. I think if it's an even-even, I think the guy should go first. But if the woman has something to say or something to respond or something to spark it, I think go for it.

I still feel whether you meet somebody in person at a bar or if somebody puts you on a group text because they're setting you up, I just really feel it should be the guy who does kind of the first outreach. It just shows what a gentleman he is. and I think it shows, you know, how he's going to treat his lady. Interesting. It's a time and a place where, you know, kind of the female could be the one who takes charge. Use your imagination.

But I do feel the guy, especially in the beginning, it's important to kind of create those roles. Okay. Interesting. Interesting. Okay. So our next question is, how long till you reach out after you've had that first date? again, I'm going to go with a strong 20 seconds. Mr. Wright, take it away. Okay, so this is not chapter one. This is not the whole wait two days, wait three days,

wait a week, wait a month, whatever it is. I think that especially if the date went well, I'm texting that night. I'm texting on the way home. Make sure you got home safe. Call me later, whatever it is, but we're not messing around. Chapter two, we're giving up on the, you know, on the polite waiting. 20 seconds, Mr. Wright. Good. I totally agree with you. You can tell we have all been around dating long enough to know that when you're on a date and it's a click and you know you're going to go out again and it's an energy between two people. There is no waiting. It's kind of like you already know when you're going to see that person while you're sitting on the date. They say, text me when you get home or they're reaching out and saying, did you get home?

And I've had guys call me and we talk the entire way home. Perfect. We're at 20 seconds, Louise. Okay, amazing. I love that. So far, we're fair. barely aligned both as men and women and single. So I like this. Okay, Louise, let's have you take this one first. Biggest red flags you think there are when it comes to men. And I also want you to tell me the

biggest red flags you think there are for women. Can I have more than 20 seconds, please? Yes, I was going to say, we'll give you more than 20 for this one. Let's say, let's say, let's do 35 seconds. So give me a couple of red flags for men, couple of red flags for women, and go. Biggest red flag for men talks horribly about the mother of his children. Number one. Number two, talks horribly about every girlfriend. Number three, cheater.

Number four is estranged from his children. Number five is estranged from his family. 20 seconds. Number six has no friends from different chapters in his life. life. Give me some red flags for women, Louise. A girl who gets so dressed up on the first date that it's like she's going to the prom. Okay, that's 35 seconds. Okay. Okay. All right. So, Mr. Wright, same question. I want you give me red flags for men and women. I'm putting 35 seconds on the clock. When you're ready, go. So red flags for men is if they don't introduce you to their friends.

guys can be very, very honest around each other. And sometimes if you're not meeting the guy's friends, big red flag. Big red flag, if you're not going to go see the guy's house or where he lives or kind of like what his situation is, also I think a little bit of a red flag. For girls, I think what I'm going to have to agree with Louise. And one thing, if they're talking poorly about their ex, if they're talking poorly, you know, like just about their past relationships, and that's still hanging over them like a cloud, they're not over it yet.

That's 35. Thanks, Mr. Wright. Okay, you're getting in there. A lot of information. I like these. Okay, Louise, this one's for you. Then we'll go to Mr. Wright. Best places to meet people if you're over 35 and under 65.

So we'll do, let's do 30 seconds on the clock for this one and go. I think it's really hard. is really no red onion, which is a reference for our generation back in the 80s, I would say that it is so rare that a guy will come up to a table anymore of girls or even send over drinks in Los Angeles. It happens more in New York and Chicago. I think if you really want to go meet somebody, the only place to go in Los Angeles is Baltair, maybe a couple of places in Malibu, but I think it's actually really hard to meet people in person. Okay, that was 30 seconds. Mr. Wright.

Same question. Where are the best people to meet in real life? Over 35, under 65. And go. So I think it's usually going to be some, you'd say bars or restaurants or whatever else, and that can always sort of happen. But I think, you know, charity events,

I think, you know, like community events where people are kind of aligned and you are going to find people that kind of think similarly as you. I think those are great places to meet. Charity events. That's a, you're right. That's a good one.

And then I think that, you know, there's also, you know, like the gymnasium, you know, or the golf course or places like that where people being active, that's what you're into. Going and doing, being somewhere, doing something that you like to do, you're going to probably find somebody that's similarly aligned. Like a running club, actually, or a yoga class. Yeah, exactly. It's yoga class, you know, Pilates, whatever those things are. That's something that turns you on as an individual. You'll hopefully find somebody else that's equally energized by that same activity. You know what's actually a fun place to meet people is at car rallies.

That's actually a fun place to talk to people. I've met a lot of people there. At like classic car shows? Yeah, or like in Malibu, they have a whole car crawl or different things. It's kind of fun on a Sunday. Just like casual, you go down, you grab a coffee and there's like people with their cars and it's just everyone milling about. Okay. Cool.

Cool. All right. Mr. Wright, take this next one first. Do you have to tell people when you're dating that you're dating, that you're dating, other people. I am going to give you 20 seconds for this one and go. All right, Heather. I think for sure you need to be upfront and honest about what your situation is. If you are dating around, I think you owe it to that person, if it comes up to tell them, I don't think you have to come right out and say, you're one of four people that I'm dating.

But I think that if it comes up, you say, yes, I am dating. And then similarly, if it gets serious, you can let them know also, hey, I want to be exclusive. And that, I think, is that honesty will help launch hopefully a good relationship and not tarnish it. If someone finds out accidentally that you are dating multiple people. Smart. Okay, that's time. Louise, same question. I think in the beginning, isn't it understood that people are dating other people until they kind of find their unicorn?

and then I feel that kind of organically, I found that it morphs into more of an exclusive situation. And I also think for me, I'm not sleeping with somebody unless we're exclusive. Well, let me ask you this. Because you bring up a good point and I think it's important to talk about. You said, isn't it understood that we're seeing other people? Well, I think in the modern day dating world, I want to know from you two. Are you going to be? going to get hurt more likely if you're not dating multiple people in your chapter two and only dating one person at a time? I think chapter two is an opportunity to try a bunch of different things on. I think that no matter what age you are, getting hurt is a reality. And to quote my

dad, better to have loved a little than never to have loved at all. And it's just part of the game, right? And that's how you know something feels really good because you've experienced the best. add. All right. So I'm going to differ and disagree a little bit. Like, you know, this is this maybe my personality, but I want to find one person. And yes, you might have to date multiple people to get there. But for me, like the outcome is to try and find the person. And that's what I'm working through right now is to find the person. A hundred percent. But it might, you know, it might take that you go on, you know, multiple dates or whatever. But I think I can't date multiple people at the same time. That's just not, I wouldn't be able to go out with somebody on Monday and then

somebody else on Wednesday and somebody else on Friday. I just don't think I would be my authentic self. I think I would be worried about, you know, like what I'm saying, how I'm saying it. Am I coming across too strong? Am I misleading anybody? So as much as you want to keep, I would like to keep, you know, options open. I think that really I would only be able to date one person at a time. I agree with you, but let's say a friend of yours was going to call you up and they were going to say, Mr. Wright, we have a couple girls who want to introduce you to or different people want to introduce you to people. So you have a date, you know, a drink on a Monday, a coffee on a Wednesday. Like, you don't know if you're going to like Monday. So why wouldn't you at least try Monday and

then try Wednesday? And if you like one of them, then you go out a second time. But like the first, the second time, like we're just getting to know the person. So and we kind of know if somebody is special and there's a real connection. We've probably been on enough dates each to know. And yes, we all want to find our unicorn 100%. But I think Mr. Wright just said something interesting. He said, that's not dating to me. So you mean when you're seeing somebody on a more intimate level is when you consider it dating, Mr. Wright?

Yeah, I mean, I think going to coffee or having a drink with somebody, I don't think that's dating. You know, if it's the first time or even the second time. But if you're making concerted efforts, we're going to be seeing each other. You know, we're going to see each other regularly. I couldn't just me personally. I couldn't have multiple people that are regular dates that are going, you know, that I'm, you know, I couldn't go on vacation with somebody, then go, you know, have dinner with somebody else. I think that once you start leaning in, you know, I would tip over if.

I totally agree. I misunderstood. I thought you meant in the beginning of when you're just first meeting people. But when you start to really like somebody and you've gone out with them two, three, four, five times, then for me, that falls under the category of it's kind of authentically morphing into an exclusive situation. So for me, I just kind of get the sense that we're both in it and we want to see where it goes. So therefore, it kind of lights out on, you know, dating other people. Pride is like love. You feel it in your heart. IR. Radio. Canada's number one streaming app for

radio and podcasts, including IHart Pride Canada, your favorite hits and must have party bangers, plus personalized and curated playlists. Like back in the day, Pride. Come together, celebrate love. Take pride with you anytime, anywhere. Just ask your smart speaker to play IHart Pride Canada. Stream us on your phone or listen now at iHartRadio.ca. Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind. Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where Sports Slice comes in. I'm Timbo. Every episode, we're cutting through the noise, breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines.

We go straight to the source, the athletes themselves. Their locker room stories, their reactions, the stuff nobody gets to hear. The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real. From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down, give you context, and ask the questions everybody wants answered. Sports Slice brings you closer to the action with stories told by the people who live them. Listen to Sports Slice. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

And for more, follow Timbo Slic Life 12 and the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. Hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers, and guess what? We have some big news. What's the news, new? Huge news. We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas, we invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to a podcast.

Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts. We're starting a trend. But this one's extra special. So how do we actually come up with a name? Hey Jonas, guys. I honestly don't remember. I think it was on a call about what we should call it. Oh, we were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band.

Before Jonas Brothers was... This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing, a bit for the podcast, where people could call in and say, hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little notepad, Hey Jonas, Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast.

But thanks for remembering that, guys. Listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it. I am the therapy gecko. I am an unlicensed lizard therapist who takes phone calls from real anonymous humans about their problems, such as this. Sometimes I'll have my girlfriend pre-chew, spicy food, and kind of baby bird it into my mouth. Is that weird? Or this.

I had my boyfriend over and I had dirty dishes everywhere and I put the dirty dishes in our closet so he wouldn't see them. If you're the kind of person that would enjoy being a fly on the wall of a stranger's therapy session or if you pass people on the street and constantly wonder what might be going on in their heads, this is the podcast for you. This week on Therapy Gecko, we're hearing all real authentic human stories about anything from relationships to family drama to serendipitous encounters with unexpected people and things. If real people peak your interest, listen to Therapy Gecko on the IHeart

Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I want to go back to something you said, Louise, because you said you don't sleep with somebody until you're exclusive, which everybody has their own preferences when it comes to that. So you're saying, though, roughly, it's we're going out four or five times, you know, and you've had the conversation with them ahead of time saying, I'm not seeing anybody else. I need to know that you're not seeing anybody else before we move to this next chapter. There's never any, let's try it out, let's see where this is going. And then we talk about exclusivity after?

I am not sleeping with somebody unless it's exclusive. And I mean, to be a total pain in the ass, I make somebody and request somebody get an SDD test, which I'm happy to do too. Great. And I haven't ever had one person say no to me, not once. And if they did, that would be a red flag for me. I know. You could have used that he red flag earlier, Louise, the STD test.

No, I think that probably in this modern age that, you know, we're all adults. And I think that, you know, asking something like that. I think you also talk about, you know, for guys like, have they had a vasectomy? Like, have they, you know, like, what's their outlook on children? Like, their children out there. That depends what age you're dating, Mr. Right? It totally does. I mean, some people, it doesn't matter.

view of a vasectomy. Let's go into more into that. What do you mean by that? If they're younger, older? If the girl is younger, then she can get pregnant. Right. But girls that are a bit older, that's just not even a reality. Right. Yes. Yes. But that's still, I mean, I guess the, conversations just become more mature, I suppose, in this chapter two, where you are asking kind of more serious questions about, you know, not just, you know, STDs and would you be want to take a test and, you know, but I think really kind of like life planning and, and kind of all those things, I think, can come up a lot earlier than they do in your chapter one, which I think is just a sign of maturity. I think it's a sign of being a little bit older and more kind of set in

your life. And I think those are important questions to have before, you know, relationships get further along. Well, let me ask you, does it come up sooner in chapter two, not necessarily always because of maturity because maybe in their marriage they weren't getting any and they want to get off to the races pretty quickly in this next thing. They're chomping at the bit to get some action. We've heard that before from other people. They've said, you know, some, from a man's perspective, they have said, you know, some men are really all about having sex as soon as they get divorced because they weren't getting any in their marriage. Have either of you either experienced that or heard that from friends in Chapter 2?

I think for me, my experiences is the people that I date are typically my age, are a bit older, and they're really looking for a companion. And I think really what the conversation is not about the sex part, it's more about, you know, are you able to, once you've been set in your ways, merge a life with somebody else? And what does that look like? Does the person live long distance? You know, what's the work schedule for both people?

What's the commitment with taking care of elderly parents? So it's really more about a time situation. Like I was dating somebody out of state. And we had a harder time figuring out the schedule ultimately. And it's not about the sex because the sex comes if you're attracted to somebody and, you know, it can happen right away. It can happen a few dates down the line. It's more about can our lives merge? And as we get older, we realize everybody has emotional wounds.

And what it comes down to also is does your baggage line up with my baggage? and you see that pretty quickly on as you're getting to know somebody. Well, I'm going to have to disagree a little bit here. Maybe that's just, you know, being from the guy side. I think there's definitely a stronger attraction and looking for sex and for, you know, some kind of passion and all the things that probably weren't there in the relationship previously, especially as it was dying and as it was heading toward divorce. And so I think that there is a big need, at least,

initially for a connection romantically. Well, of course it does. You have to feel attracted. But I think that guys probably are driven more by that. I can't say from a woman's perspective, but I would imagine that guys are probably even more driven by that because it's just, it's the guy's unfortunate, sort of the guy's nature.

And I think that there is probably more propensity to be drawn to somebody that is going to be willing to match that same sort of sexual energy. Mr. Wright is talking maybe a little bit about why men in Chapter 2 tend to go for younger women. Is that why? Because there's less things on their plate. They, you know, have maybe less inhibitions. I've also heard that men tend to go for younger women in Chapter 2 because men identify themselves at that when they are going through the divorce as the age that they were when they were entering into the marriage. So that's actually mentally where they still feel that they're at, which is why they tend to go back and revert to a younger age when they're dating in Chapter 2.

And not asking you specifically, Mr. Wright, if that's your experience, but have you seen, or Louise, have you seen men in Chapter 2 kind of do that? So I've seen a lot of my friend's ex-husbands date the younger girl, like the cliche. And it's fun in the beginning and they look hot and they're easy and all they want is a bag and a couple nice restaurants. And then all of a sudden, they want to have a kid. And then they want to be the missus. And they have to reverse the vasectomy.

There's all the battle with the family. And inevitably, what happens is they break up and then the guy just moves on to another young girl. And then they get tired. And then as they get older, they want to have somebody who is their passion partner, their best friend, their park bench, and they want to go through that next chapter together. But I see about 80%, 85% of the time, most men do want to have fun and kind of pick up the pieces of what they didn't have for a long time.

And they do that young route. And then all of a sudden, they just don't have enough shared experiences. And the kids don't really want to sit at the table of people who are the same age. Interesting. I'm lucky because my ex-husband dates, you know, his long-time relationship is age-appropriate. and she's amazing and we're very close and we're one big modern family. So I got lucky that that's the route that he went, but that's not the case for most of my friends. My dad in Chapter 2 got with my now stepmom who is nine and a half years younger than him.

That's different than 20 years younger. It's different than 20 years younger, but she was in her 20s when they got together. So there was definitely not a shared experience. She was a single parent, but I mean there was a debt there. I still to this day feel like there's a definite gap in certain things. This is all really fascinating. I love where we're going with this. Where does Mr. Wright sit on the young girl situation if you've seen it with his friends?

I'm not asking if he's doing it. I'm more curious, his opinion. I mean, I think that there is probably just sort of a guy's desire to go and reclaim a little bit of what he feels like he's lost. Because going into force is one of the biggest gut punches for a guy, especially if it wasn't the choice of the guy. And it just tears away your confidence. It tears away, you know, your sort of your virility, your manhood.

And so I think there's a little bit of wanting to go and show the world that you still got it. You know, that you can still, you know, you can pull the cute girl or whatever it is. And whether that means you end up with them forever or not, time will tell. But I think that there is a propensity for guys, at least initially, to look for younger girls. and I think that there is this sort of disconnect in a certain way where younger girls, and I'm not talking girls in their 21, 22, I'm talking about younger than guys, whether it's 10 years or 15 years, that look for something in older guys, whether it's stability, whether it's financial security, whether it's experience or something in there. I can't quite figure out what it is,

maturity, that they're not seeing in guys at their own age, especially if they're frustrated with dating guys in their own sort of their own age bracket. And so, but I think ultimately, to Louise's point, especially if you have kids as a guy, you want to find somebody that complements your modern family, whatever that looks like. You want to find somebody that will be able to fit in there and not cause an additional rift within the kids, within the ex-wife, within your world, because we've seen it too often, you know, where you have the really old guy with a really young girl and everybody just kind of shakes their head and knows exactly what's going on. But I think that there

is room in the middle for age difference that makes sense for both the woman and the man. Pride is like love. You feel it in your heart. IR. Radio, Canada's number one streaming app for radio and podcasts, including IHart Pride Canada, your favorite hits and must have party bangers, plus personalized and curated playlists like back in the day pride. Come together, celebrate love. Take pride with you. Anytime, anywhere. Just ask your smart speaker to play IHart Pride Canada. Stream us on your phone.

Or listen now at iHeartRadio.ca. Last night, a blown call changed a game. This morning, the internet lost its mind. Highlights are trending, opinions are flying, and nobody's telling you exactly what happened. That's where Sports Slice comes in. I'm Timbo. Every episode, we're cutting through the noise,

breaking down the plays, the controversies, and the stories behind the headlines. We go straight to the source, the athlete themselves. Their locker room stories, their reactions, the stuff nobody gets to hear. The laughs, the drama, the triumphs, the moments that never make the highlight real.

From viral moments to historic games, from buzzer beaters to controversial calls, we break it down, give you context, and ask the questions everybody wants answered. Sports Slice brings you closer to the action with stories told by the people who live them. Listen to Sports Slice on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

And for more, follow Timbo Slic Life 12 and the TikTok podcast network on TikTok. Hey, it's us, the Jonas Brothers. And guess what? We have some big news. What's the news, dude? Huge news. We created our own podcast called, Hey Jonas.

We invented a podcast? Well, we didn't invent it. We just contributed to it. We're the first people to do podcasts. Pretty, yeah, pretty wide range of podcasts throughout there. But this one's extra special. So how do we actually come up with a name, Hey Jonas, guys? I honestly don't remember.

I think it was on a call about what we should. should call it. Well, we were thinking I'm originally calling it one of the early names of our band before Jonas Brothers was... This is how you guys remember it going down? Yes. I have a very different memory of this. We were talking about a thing, a bit for the podcast, where people could call in and say,

Hey, Jonas. And then I wrote down on my little note pad, Hey Jonas, and offered it up as a potential title for the podcast. But thanks for remembering that, guys. Listen to Hey Jonas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or where, wherever you get your podcast. Just listen. We don't care where you hear it.

I am the therapy gecko. I am an unlicensed lizard therapist who takes phone calls from real anonymous humans about their problems, such as this. Sometimes I'll have my girlfriend pre-chew it spicy food and kind of baby bird it into my mouth.

Is that weird? Or this. I had my boyfriend over and I had dirty dishes everywhere and I put the dirty dishes in our closet so he wouldn't see them. If you're the kind of person that would enjoy being a fly on the wall of a stranger's therapy session, or if you pass people on the street and constantly wonder what might be going on in their heads,

this is the podcast for you. This week on Therapy Gecko, we're hearing all real, authentic human stories about anything, from relationships to family drama to serendipitous encounters with unexpected people and things. If real people peak your interest, listen to Therapy Gecko on the I-Heart Reckon. radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Mr. Wright, we'll go for you for this one to start off. When dating, does the person meet the kids? And does that change if your kids are out of the house? I'm going to give you 40 seconds for this one. So I do have big opinions on this. And I do think that you have to be incredibly sensitive to

your kids. And so I don't think you can make a blanket statement about when in the right time it is to meet or not meet or introduce or whatever. And age has something to do with it. Maturity has something to do with it. Also, it has to do a little bit with what happened to break up the marriage to begin with. So I think that I don't think you should lie to your kids. I don't think you should mislead them. I have a, I have a, you know, my personal philosophy is just to be honest, if they ask questions, respond honestly. But in terms of introducing them, I don't think you should introduce them to somebody unless you think that they are worthy and they're going to be sticking around because you don't want to have a turn style that's 40 seconds. Are we using the metric system? It went really quick. I feel

that they went really fast. These are actually, I think, important questions and answers. It's good. It's good what you're saying, though. I really, I want to bounce the question, though, to Louise to jump in and give your thoughts and opinions on what Mr. Wright is saying. So I think the most important thing is if you're dating somebody, I think Mr. Wright is correct, it has to do with the situation of how you met that person. For example, if there was overlap, and that's the reason for the divorce, which is how I grew up, that is a situation where you have to be very, very, very, very careful, and you're probably not going to have joint tables for a long time, if ever. I also think it depends on the age when you got your children divorce. And I hate to say it, but also for a mother, you know,

My kids were very young. They were third and fifth grade, and there was no world where at the time that they were living in my house, there was going to be a guy sleeping in my bed. Never was going to do it. They've met one person. It was only recently. And to be honest with you, they did not like him. So it's now really kind of, you know, change my thing. But when they went to college, they both sat me down separately.

And they said, Mom, you are an amazing mom. You put us first. We want you to go live your life now. We will love whoever you love. And we saw that you put us first, but we are ready for you to have your chapter two. And that blessing for me was so important. And that acknowledgement of how I handled it, because I have watched friends and it's been a revolving door of guys in their bed. And I think it screws kids up.

I think it's a really bad teaching moment for kids to see that, especially for a mother. So I think, you know, to Mr. Wright's point, it's situation by situation, but there's a lot of factors. I feel like that was way more than 40 seconds. I just feel like you're playing favorites here, Heather. No, no, no. I was throwing it back to you. I was going to say, Mr. Wright, what do you think about when does it change things when the kids are out of the house? You know, I think once the kids are out of the house, they're adults, you know, unless they, you know, yeah, I mean, I think once the kids are out of the house, all bets are off.

And I think that, you know, you're allowed to kind of chase your happiness and be less concerned about. the kids because they're off, you know, living their own lives. And they want to focus on their own lives. They don't want to worry about us. Well, sorry, my question, though, is if they're out of the house, do you introduce them sooner than you would if they lived in the house? If they're out of the house, I think you just, I mean, I think there's sooner or later really matters. I think if it's, if it works out, if it's convenient, then, then yes, but I don't think you start bringing them around any sooner than you would otherwise. But I think that, you know, when the kids are younger, I think to Louise's point, you know, I don't think you want to have, you know, a new guy or a new girl, you know, walking down the steps to, you know, to breakfast in the morning wearing, you know, wearing a robe and slippers.

So I think you get to be really, really sensitive. That's how they're wearing a robe and slippers. Yeah. It's a very small one. My mom and my stepdad separated for a period of time before getting back together. And my mom was immediately dating somebody who used to do the knock on the front door. with a box of donuts thing and say, oh, I just happened to be in the neighborhood. Kids are smarter than that.

Well, I wasn't a kid when he was doing it. So it was extremely obnoxious. I will say that. I would literally be like, dude, I heard you this morning like sneak out. I know you didn't go anywhere, but around the corner to get donuts and come back. So yeah, people listening in chapter two, don't do that. It's actually really annoying and not. cool. But I think it's okay to, I mean, to try and be sensitive to the kids by being, I don't

think sneaky, but you can keep it to yourself. But if I'm confronted by one of my kids on something, I will tell them, I will answer them honestly. I'm not going to overshare. I'm not going to treat them like my friend. I'm not going to gossip with them about my love life. But if they ask me a question, are you, you know, are you seeing somebody? Are you whatever? Yes, I'm going to answer them honestly. Absolutely. I'm going to ask you both an honest question, because I can't imagine even dating right now in this space, at this time of my life, just with what I hear about the dating landscape. Why do people in Chapter 2 even want to date? Like, why?

I mean, it just sounds even more. Heather. But it sounds even more complicated if I had kids and I had like an X that I had to deal with for the rest of my life. Like, why does anybody even want to date in chapter two? First of all, I'm so sad to hear you say that because I know you've been heard. But to be honest, there's no greater feeling than loving somebody and being loved and to share a life with somebody. And especially as you've finished the chapter of your kids getting older, I mean, I don't

want to be alone. I want to have a partner. Somebody to go get a coffee with. Somebody to go on a walk with by the beach. Somebody to sit next to while I'm reading a book. Somebody to go to a fun night in Vegas and do something. something crazy. Just it's the greatest thing in the world. Love. And I think that in this chapter too, especially if you find somebody that has a similar experience, whether you both have kids,

you both have, you know, sort of like breakup situations that were somewhat similar, you have this thing in common that is very personal and very real. And you both can learn from your mistakes. And I think that there's an amazing way to build even stronger bond than you had in your chapter one because you've both been hurt or you both have had this similar experience and you're sensitive to it. Chapter one, I'll tell you, you know, I learned so much about myself as a husband, as a father, as a partner, all these things. And I think I'm a much better version of myself because of the things that I learned along the way, even though it hurt. And so hopefully, you know, in this chapter two, yeah, it's complicated. Don't get me wrong.

It's complicated. Meeting people's complicated. Works complicated. Kids are complicated. But when you do find that right puzzle piece, it does, I think, feel even that much better. I think you learn a lot also in divorce, too, about yourself. I mean, it's an interesting time as you're learning to do things on your own and make decisions and just kind of understand who you are as we get older and what your needs are. And it's been almost more of a growing experience for me in the time that I've been divorced than at the time that I was married in terms of getting to know myself. because I think when you get married in the beginning, you're looking for, you know, a partner and somebody to, you know, be a father and build a life together and all of that.

And it's just, it's an interesting growing time post-divorce. Well, this has been so much fun. Louise, thank you for showing up. Heather. Thank you for keeping us honest and on time. And we look forward to continuing this conversation with more questions from listeners as we go forward. And if you're going through a divorce, finding chapter two hard to navigate. and need some advice, we are here to help.

Send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the infos in the show notes and follow us on socials. I do part two in IHeart Radio podcast. We're falling in love is the main objective. It's millions of records sold, awards, sold out tours. You think that Jonas Brothers are satisfied? Nope, it's podcast time. We get to ask other people questions because we're sick and tired of being asked questions.

Hey, Jonas is available now, and their first guest is a big one. Paul Rudd. You know, Steve Carell is a great singer. Can you tell you not to audition at the office or something? I told him. Whoa. We were filming Anchorman. Clearly, I was the idiot.

Thank God he didn't listen to him, right? Listen to Hey Jonas on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I am the therapy gecko. I am an unlicensed lizard therapist who takes phone calls from real anonymous humans about their problems, such as this. Sometimes I'll have my girlfriend preach you with spicy food. and kind of baby birded it into my mouth. Is that weird? This week on Therapy Gecko,

we're hearing all real, authentic human stories about anything, from relationships to family drama to serendipitous encounters with unexpected people and things. If real people peak your interest, this is the podcast for you. Listen to Therapy Gecko

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. Teddy Mellencamp. And Tamara Judge from Two T's in a Pod. There's been one scandal that's consumed our lives these last couple of months. We're recapping the three parts Summer House reunion. And as always, we're being brutally honest.

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