The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Are Open Marriages Crazy?

Episode Date: September 20, 2025

If more people had open relationships, would there be fewer divorces? That's the question Jana Kramer is asking influencer Danielle, who's been in an open marriage for 15 years. From what boundaries she has set with her spouse, to FaceTiming women that go on dates with her husband (seriously!) - Danielle is "openly committed" and explains the good and the bad that come with participating in ethical non-monogamy. Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hey, everybody. This is Matt Rogers. And Bowen-Yang. And you're never going to guess who's our guest on Las Culturistas. It is Elle Woods, Tracy Flick, herself. Reese Witherspoon. It must go in a girl's trip.

I have to have a tequila. We must. Oh. Whoever said orange is the new pink. We seriously disturbs. Listen to Los Angeles. culturalistas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos.

And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time, as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The Moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us, father and daughter, for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slemmer in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee.

Since her conviction, Krista has been sitting on death row. How does someone prove that they deserve to live? We are starting the recording now. Please state your first and last name. Listen to Unrestorable Season 2, Proof of Life, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Introducing IVF disrupted, the Kind Body story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. It grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patient.

You think you're finally, like, in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's ID Part 2, and I'm one of your hosts. Janet Kramer. And usually on this podcast, we are talking about people that are in their chapter two looking for love again after divorce. But what if the key to not getting divorced is ethical non-monogamy? We're going to dive into this today. My guest is documenting her experience with an open marriage through her social media openly committed. Please welcome Danielle

to the podcast. Danielle, thank you so much for coming on. I do part two. We really appreciate you coming on. And, uh, you know, I have to say it's interesting because, you know, we've got different hosts for different, uh, guests. And when I got sent your rundown, I was like, oh, this is funny. I know why they picked me. I was like, because I was like this guy, I was a cute joke. I heart. I like it. Um, why did they pick you? Now I need to know. Well, um, so I, my last husband, um, very happily married now, but my ex husband was, um, have multiple, multiple, multiple affairs in our marriage. And so I have quite an opinion when it comes around, when it comes to cheating. And, you know, I've, I've spoken to people

before that have been in open relationships. And again, I just come from a place of, I don't know how that works when I've been in some, but mine was so different, right? Because mine was was a lot of lying and deceit. And it seems like in an open marriage, there is more communication around it. Oh, I have a lot of opinions about cheating too. Okay, great. Well, let's start there. So let me, let me hear your opinions on cheating. Yeah. I mean, I think the definition of cheating is betrayal and is lying. And I think so often I've ended up talking to hundreds of people exploring open relationships from multiple reasons. And the thing that I've heard from people who have been cheated on is they look back on the periods of time where they were cheated

on and they don't know what part was real and what part to believe and what was true. And all of a sudden, they're in a situation where they doubt huge chunks of the relationship and what a terrible heartbreaking, untrusting place to be in. And I'd be curious, you know, how you felt after kind of going through a betrayal. And so I think when my husband brought up the idea of an open relationship, and he brought up the idea about two to three months into dating very early on. Oh, before even being married. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

We'd been dating for two months when he brought up the idea of exploring an open relationship. Neither of us had ever been in an open relationship before. We had no idea what we were doing. This is like 2010. You didn't have TikTok influencers and blogs about the topic back then. And so it was something that we were going to explore. But his reasoning for exploring an open relationship is that he had seen affairs, destroy families, destroy people's confidence, and he wanted to affair proof our relationship. That was his initial reasoning for bringing up an open relationship in the first place.

And so I think it can be a wonderful way to have transparency and truth in a relationship, but it does not work for everyone. And there are cheaters in open relationships, too. Like being in an open relationship is not carte blanche to cheat. We just define cheating differently and we establish rules and boundaries that have to be equally respected the same way they wouldn't have a monogamous relationship. For those that haven't followed along with your journey on social media, do you discuss the boundaries around an open relationship in your marriage? I do, yes. So we've had rules that have evolved over the years. and I don't think that there's a common rule set or agreement subset that, you know, every

open relationship, every couple follows. They're always different. And so I think one of the thing is that we did, what we spent the first two years of our open relationship doing, is figuring out like, okay, what are our rules? You know, how are we going to define our rules? How do we define safe sex? How do we, for each other and eventually with other people? How do we have really difficult conversations. You know, how do we define cheating? I think that that one's really important. And then also setting the goals of like, what do we eventually want this relationship to be? And I think that happens no matter what relationship you're in. But if you're in an open relationship, you really have to have those conversations because you're essentially deciding to

not follow the set standard monogamous guidebook that society and culture and religion have kind of set for us. Have you seen the movie Splitsville? I haven't yet. No, I really, really want to. I definitely need to. Okay, because it is, you know, about having an open marriage. So Dakota Johnson's marriage, her husband wanted, you know, to have this open marriage. But it's interesting because they don't, they don't tell the other person that they're having sex.

They just kind of assume, like when he goes away for his work trip in New York that he's most likely with someone. But it created this, I would almost say, well, I guess jealousy, but also this insecurity, though he's choosing to leave our home to go be with someone else. So do those feelings come up when your husband wants to go be with somebody else? So you're talking to me after I've been doing this for 15 years. So I think that's a pretty big difference between, you know, our agreements and the way that I felt early on in our relationship when we were new, not only, to being open, but also like new to our relationship. Sure. And, you know, we had a lot more of those, those insecurities and jealousies.

I experienced a ton of jealousy the first couple of years of opening up. And now, you know, we've been together for 15 years. We've been open that entire time. I talk about now as we've had phases. We've had phases of polyamory, phases of being open. We've had phases of monogamy. You know, but we've been together for 15 years. And so we, you know, are the types of jealousy that I experience are very different.

had seen the movie so that could i could uh understand but for you like in the beginning did it make you well first of all like in the very beginning when he brought it up did that make you sad or was it something where you thought okay i like this guy i'm going to fall in line with what he wants to do because it was that something that you wanted to do no i was i was like what the no way i thought i'd met my guy i thought i'd met the one my prince and shining armor except you know modern time so we were on a ski slope right and i you know i i i i i i i i i i i i met this guy we had instant chemistry we had this sort of whirlwind wonderful you know like rom-com worthy first couple of months of dating and then i feel like he you know i feel like this idea

exploring an open relationship come came out of nowhere and what's so funny is like the words he used were probably along the lines of like hey i have this idea it's something i want to explore would you be open to considering an open relationship? It wasn't an ultimatum. It wasn't even a like, I want to do this. It was let's explore this. And even that made me feel angry, pissed off. Embarrassed. Like all of a sudden I had to tell my friends that this guy that I thought was the one, now wanted to explore an open relationship. Yeah, to me, that'd be a huge red flag. I'd be like, oh, so you just want to cheat on me. So then why have you in a relationship? Yeah, but that's where I started too. Like, that's absolutely where I started to. I think where.

I started to come around to the idea is that it was something that we were just exploring. We spent a year just doing research and talking about it and, you know, like, what could this look like? And I understood his why, which was like, you know, he wanted to affair proof the relationship. That's where it started for him. And at that time, I didn't have a why. Like, I didn't have a very clear why I want to be in an open relationship. I do now. I'm bisexual. I enjoy dating both men and women. I find this incredible level of freedom. I feel like my partner enables me to have a bigger life than I would if it was, you know, just the two of us. I feel like we've created a relationship that's really tailored to us and nobody else.

And I see, you know, this, I see this open relationship of ours is now kind of more of a mindset than anything else. You know, we're going to figure things out. We're going to change as our desires do, as our libidos do, as our interests and other people do, as the things that we want to explore do. And our relationship has enough flexibility to kind of evolve as well. we do? I couldn't have told you that 15 years ago. I was like, what? Right. Was he the first person to step out, though? I mean, I guess it's not stepping out when you're technically signing up for it, but we took baby steps. It's interesting, I think, seeing open relationships portrayed in films and movies, and so film and TV nowadays, and even on social media. And also,

so many people I've talked to in this process, because I think people are like, okay, great, let's explore an open relationship. And then it's like, they go and have a three them or like they go and like having a relationship with someone else for a weekend. I was like, wow, it feels like you're jumping into a deep end with sharks. In our case, we talked about it. I kissed someone. We talked about it. He kissed someone. We talked about it. I went on a date and didn't do anything and we talked about it. And then he did and then we talked about it. And we went to a swingers club, but didn't do anything. We talked about it. And then we went to swingers club and did a few things and talked about it. You know, there was, for us, it was definitely

a progression in a baby step. So we were constantly checking in, okay, how do you feel? how even even little things like he kissed someone it was like how do I feel about the fact that he kissed someone and I had to actually go through that entire process I was like okay him kissing someone else doesn't take away from him kissing me he had an experience that kind of brought him joy and how do I feel about that you know and so I think that one that with taking those baby step progressions we were able to kind of tiptoe into is does this make you uncomfortable okay do we do we want to stop or do we want to figure something out? Yeah, I don't recommend, for anyone opening up a relationship, I don't recommend, you know, immediately going off and having another

relationship with another person. I feel like that's too much too soon, but it definitely happens. Plenty of people do it. How much of your 15 years has it been monogamous, would you think? Oh, that's a good question. About two years in total, maybe two and a half out of the 15. Were those happy years or were those more volatile years? or I'm curious, like, what the difference between when you were monogamous and when you guys were with other partners? Yeah. I think that, so as I said, 15 years of our relationship, there have been, so we had a phase of monogamy when my son was born. Because I don't know if you're a parent.

Are you a parent? Yes, I've got three kids. You've got three kids. And a stepson. So you probably know that when your kids are young, you don't have enough time to, like, sleep or date each other. I'm exhausted. Exactly. Yeah.

You're like, I'm like, oh, I'm like impressed if I can get dinner on a table like half the nights of the week. So that phase of monogamy, I think was just kind of natural. You know, there was all, we were so excited to be parents. We wanted to spend so much time together, so much time with our son. And I think we kind of woke up one day and we're like, oh, we've been monogamous for a year. Cool. And that was it. It was not a big deal.

I'm sorry, I'm an astericking real fast, so I don't forget. How do you, what do you tell, how old is your kid? Our son is 11. My daughter is. Oh, sweet, sweet. So when they're older, is this something that you guys are going to tell them? Because obviously your stuff is on social media, so they're going to be watching social media.

So is it something that, I mean, have you talked to them about it? Or are you going to or what are you going to say? And then what are you, I guess, modeling then for what a marriage looks like? and for their values and opinions around it all. Yeah. So my son already knows. We told him about a year a bit ago. It was,

I mean, it was a pretty easy, casual conversation at that time. And I think, I think there's a couple of things. So first of all, my children know better than anyone else, how much my husband and I love each other.

They see it every day. And they're raised in a household with it every day. And they do not see us dating other people. And it sounds like you're divorced. I'm married now. Oh, so you're married now, but you want. Yes, to a lovely man. Yes, the man that cheated, I do have two kids with and then one with the new.

How long did it take you to introduce your new partner to your existing kids? Oh, man. Let's see. I met in October, November, December, January, but three and a half months. Oh, interesting. We actually wait, we wait longer than that. Yeah. So if we're in serious relationships with someone else, which has only happened twice in our 15 years.

Oh, so you introduce them to people that you're with? We've introduced them as friends of friends. Got it, got it, got to, got it. Confusing. But, I mean, it takes a long time to introduce someone that's an important part of your life to your children. And it took us, you know, we waited, I think, five and then six months to introduce anyone to our kids. But when we told our son and we told him, like, mom and we love each other very much, we're in open relationship, but we have other people we really care about. We have other people that we have feelings for.

and one of them you've met. And so then we were able to say, like, this person who you've met in the past, who was introduced as a friend of the family, you know, you had a great experience with that person. Like, that's someone that mom and dad didn't care about as well. So I think it's, we're pretty, oh, it's funny. These feel like such hard conversations to have

without a lot of, without the entire context. But I think that when, we tell our son what we're modeling to answer your question like what are we modeling for our kids we're very careful with what we tell them and when what we're telling our son when he's 10 when he was 10 which is when we told him we'll be a little bit different than the conversations we have with him when he's 18 right when we introduce our children to people that we were dating which again has only happened twice it's a friend of a family member because honestly it's kind of true it's true it's someone like we care about it's someone we would love to introduce to our children but we're

careful how we do that. The way that we talk to our children is about love and about relationships and about caring for people. We're not talking to our children about sex. We don't talk to what our children about our sex lives. It's not like we're going to talk to them about like sex lives with other people. It's crazy. And I think that long term, the thing that I hope to model for my kids is that, you know, we're in a relationship that works for us. That took us a long time to figure out that we constantly support each other through all these huge changes. And we're also kind of living pretty authentically. And we figured out a relationship

that allows us to do so. And I'm hoping that by living this authentically and by creating the relationship that works for me, my kids will not only feel like they have permission to do so themselves, but they'll see it. They'll see that oh, Mom and Dad did it. I can definitely

do this too, no matter what that looks like for my kids. Hey, everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang. And you're never going to guess who's our guest on Lost Cultureistas. It is Bradley Jackson, L. Woods, Tracy Flick, herself. Reese Witherspoon. It must go in a girls' trip. I have to have a tequila.

We must. Oh. The Q rating. Q rating. When they run diagnostic on you. We can run it on you guys. I'd be scared. You don't run the Q rating.

No, on the Q rating as I get us. My resiliency score is down to adequate because we were on a red eye. My resiliency score. My grit. I got to get my grit score up. Now, don't think that you're going to come out Los Culturistas, the podcast,

and we're not going to at least bring up Big Little Lies season three. Whoever said orange is the new pink. We seriously disturbs. Listen to Las Culturistas on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you can. Get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos.

And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians. I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born outside of this country. Artists and activists. I mean, do you ever feel demoralized?

I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith, but there's an institution. that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call

or text each other sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to The Moment

with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you You get your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed. Hello, Ed.

I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear.

Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is a tape recorded statement.

The person being interviewed is Krista Gail Pike. This is in regards to the death of Colleen Slimmer. She started going off on me and I hit her. I just hit her and hit her and hit her and hit her. On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slimmer in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee. Since her conviction,

Krista has been sitting on death row. The state has asked for an execution date for Krista. We let people languish in prison for decades, raising questions about who we consider fundamentally unrestorable. How does someone prove that they deserve to live? We are starting the recording now. Please state your first and last name. Krista Pike.

Listen to Unrestorable Seasons, Reason 2, Proof of Life, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now. We were getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing. Bloomberg and IHeart Podcasts present. IVF Disrupted, The Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. Introducing Kind Body, a new generation of women's health and fertility care. Backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup.

While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like with the right people in the right hands, and then to find out again that you're just not. Don't be fooled. By what? All the bright and shiny. Listen to IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, starting September 19 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, so what happens if you, so these people that you have introduced your kids to, obviously, were someone that was, that you said you were dating. What happens if you really catch feelings and you want to be with just them?

I guess we'll figure it out. Is that something you guys have talked about? We have definitely talked about it. It's only once where my husband was dating someone and we had the conversation. It's like, what if she lived with us? Like, okay, how would that look like? But it wasn't something she was interested in. And could it happen?

Yeah. But I guess there's also this thing is like, if either of us fell in love with someone else and loved that person more than each other, would we go and be monogamous with that person? Probably not. I mean, we're in an open relationship. We've been, I know that people use the terms open relationship and polyamory. I tend to use them interchangeably. But if I was feeling, if I was polyamorous, so if I was in a romantic committed relationship with someone else, as well as a romantic committed relationship with my husband, we would figure out how that works. It's hard for me

to imagine leaving this incredible life that I've built with my husband and our kids and our family for someone else given the fact that for lack of a better word I get to have both right but here's my question though I'm and I'm sure you hear this all the time too is why be married at all then I wanted to be but you're not with that just that part in marriages if you I mean I guess let's I don't know the actual definition is but to me it's married to one person and you're I don't know I mean, maybe that's the old school mentality with it, where it's like, I guess you're changing what the typical old school version of what a marriage is. Yeah.

I think that is what we're doing. And I think you're seeing it, I think you're seeing it more and more nowadays. You're seeing a lot of people who, you know, feel like their gender is very fluid. Their sexuality is very fluid. And so for someone who is expressing, you know, bisexuality, pansexuality, and feel like they're, you know, their gender is fluid. Are they then also expected to only be in a monogamous married relationship as their goal? You know, I think that the constructs and the goals of relationships are going to look very

different 10 years from now for this upcoming generation. I think that, I don't know about you, but I'm 41. So I feel like I'm sort of in that in-between phase between, you know, my parents' generation and their definition of what a really great marriage looks like. and what the next generation is going to look like. And I guess, to flip it on, to turn this on its head, do you think that a marriage is more than sexual exclusivity? Do I think a marriage is more than sexual exclusivity?

Do you think that sexual exclusivity is the most important thing to a married couple? In a marriage? Yeah. Interesting. Okay. I do. But again, that's my, how I was, I guess brought up thinking that is I mean my parents got divorced because my dad cheated um you know so

what is marriage a man and a woman staying faithfully together I guess that's my yeah and then just like the old school values around it all but again I I've messed up many times where I'm not messed up but I've had had multiple marriages um because I've you know I've been trying to find that marriage that I deal that I dreamt of as a as a girl right so I've married the wrong people um in that quest but I do I personally could never open up my marriage and I love having conversations with people you know that have different differing views and opinions and I I see how it can work for other people I personally going through what I've been through with my ex I don't see a world where you know, even Alan and I joked when we were in the car after watching Splitsville. And I'm like,

I don't mean to be closed off around it. I was like, but if you ever came to me with that, there's just no way in hell I would be okay with it, like ever. And he's like, he's like same, you know, but, you know, I do think there are for some people that it can work. And what are, you know, for you guys, how has it made you guys stronger in your marriage having this open relationship. So I would say that right now you're seeing in the U.S. I think it's four to five percent of the U.S. population is consensually non-monogamous. So it means that like 95 percent of the population is monogamous. Like monogamy is what works for most people. And I think so your question was like kind of what makes it work for us. Yeah. Well, how how has it strengthened your marriage?

You know, like, what is what is the positive, you know, in it? I think the positive for us is, I mean, I will say the level of transparency, you know, and I think that the kind of going back to the betrayal, right? When I, when my husband brought the idea and said, let's have fair proof the relationship, one of the biggest conversations that we had was like complete transparency and how important that was to us. And I think even if we decided to be monogamous, like even if we had gone through this whole process of exploring an open relationship and then a couple of years then decide, you know what,

we want to be a monogamous, which is absolutely an option on the table. I think that we would have learned a couple of things about our relationship anyway, which is how important transparency is. It's like, I do. I want to know if you're attracted to someone, if you're hanging out with friends. I want to like have that level of detail because I care about you. Well, it's a level of deep honesty too and like really knowing your partner because there's so many closets. people. I'm not just talking about their preferences, but when it comes to them not knowing what their fetishes are or they're, you know what I mean? Because they're too afraid to say anything. Exactly. Or be judged or, yeah. I mean, this is that, again, kind of going on that note,

you know, I think in my mid-30s, there were things that I wanted to try sexually. And because we have this level of transparency, it was really easy for me to go to my part and be like, so I have an idea. Yeah, totally. I could see how that'd be so liberating and open and free and then being so connected because deep, true transparency and in honesty is the most connective thing for couples. Absolutely. And I feel like that at its foundation has nothing to do with the relationship style. Monogamous, no monogamous doesn't matter. I feel like I get to go to my partner and say, there's something I want to try. I'm feeling this. I feel, you know, I desire this. I'm not feeling desirable. I want to try this thing that's new. I want to be. pushed outside of my comfort zone. And I think the difference with my partner and I is most of those things, like we will kind of figure out together. But there is this element, which is like, okay, Danielle, like, if I wanted to try something that my husband doesn't necessarily want to or doesn't enjoy, then I have an opportunity to go and explore that and experience that with someone

else. And it could be a friend, right? I'm a big outdoor enthusiast. A ski. I love high hiking. My husband does not. My husband needs a goal. He's like, oh, we're hiking. We're hiking from point A to point B. I'm like, no, it's about the flowers and the views and like experience. He's like, no, A to B. And so I get to have those experiences, yes, with my friends who will do all these things with me. But also I think some other and some other ways, you know, especially from you'd mentioned kind of like kinks and getting to explore things outside of your comfort zone. I get to do that. I get to, I kind of have all of the options. available to me, including the options that my husband might necessarily not be interested in.

For sure. I have a question. When you are exploring or want to explore something, do you, I don't know, is there apps for this? Or do you, and then when you do meet someone, do you say, I am married? Like, you have to go through all that, right? Obviously, that's probably a boundary for your husband. Oh, yes. So total transparency. On my dating profiles, I say, I'm married. I'm not monogamous with two kids. And interestingly, I think because dating apps have changed so much that you do have dating apps that are dedicated to the non-monogamous polyamorous spaces now, field, hashtag open, I believe even some of the other more standard ones have, you know, have drop downs now where you can select interest in being open, non-monogamous, etc.

So I think that that's probably right now the easiest way to kind of to find people that you're interested in dating. I also kind of meet a lot of people in real life. I think one of the things the thing about being an open relationship, I am not always dating. I think that there's this perception because I'm in an open relationship. Oh my God, I must be having sex with everybody. I was like now. Such a good point. I still have enough like fingers and toes to count everybody. Seriously, guys. It's not that crazy. And so and I think what's, but I think what's interesting is that if I do meet someone I have a connection. There's no limit to what that connection could be. You know, it could be a just really intimate friendship. It could be a friend with benefits. It could be a comment. It could be

a one night stand. It could be something that evolves into a deeper relationship. It's like I'm very rarely just like on a mission to date and find someone. That's almost never happened. It's much more that I get to live life and then these people that kind of come into my life, I get to say like, oh, is this friends or is this, you know, the entire rainbow of other options that are actually available to me because of my open relationship style? Got it. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Question. Because this has happened. I know how this has happened to someone before, but someone had told a girlfriend of mine that they were in an open marriage, but come to find out they were not. They were not an open marriage. And that was just what he was saying. And that's called cheating. Yeah. Have you

run into that where people are on these sites and they're saying they're in the open marriage, but really like you come to find out that this like the wife or the husband is actually not okay with it? I hate that this happens and it happens. So for anyone listening, so I'm openly committed upon social channels. I talk about my experiences, stories, recommendations for anyone exploring non-monogamy. And I think that this one is a huge pet peeve of mine. because I think that it really, it doesn't injustice to most people who are in an open relationship. It's, I think it's one of the things because in open relationships and polyamory are trending.

It's become something that people can say more easily when they're just cheating. And I hate that that's the case. It has happened to me twice where, you know, be like, oh, this is really, really interesting. But I think when you've been in an open relationship for a long time, you can start to ask questions and then the red flags go up. So I will always ask someone, like, okay, like, what are your boundaries? You know, what are the things that are discussed in your existing relationship? What are the agreements that you have with your partner?

And the simple question is, like, does your partner know you're on a date with me right now? I have dated people who have what's called a don't ask, don't tell policy in their relationship, and you just ask a couple more questions. And I have requested to, like, FaceTime or text message, a partner before. But honestly, if I'm getting a spider sentence that this person's not really open, I'm not, I'm not going there. I'm not interested. And I think on the flip side of it, my husband has been on dates with women before,

and they asked to FaceTime me. And what is that like, like, truthfully? Like, you're like, hey, girl. Like, what, I'm like, yeah, like, what, there isn't like a percentage. I know the 15 year, but, okay, so now let's say at the 15 year mark. Yeah. There isn't like a little piece that's a 1% little jealous. Oh, of course there is.

No, here's the, you want to know what the arc is? Yeah. Because I'm like, I know it's like all fun and dandy and like you guys are like at this 15, like happy and like, come on. We're learning all kinds of new things, especially like an out in public on social media. Like that's feeling jealousy in a whole different way and all kinds of new issues and communication tactics. Okay, here's the arc. If my part, if my husband's going on a date at first, like I'll help him get ready and I'll be like, oh, wear the blue shirt. You look really good in that one.

Like, okay, no, no. It's like you're like, you help him get ready for the date. And then let's say, this is all hypothetical, but all of these things have happened in different, different situations. And then let's say he, like, he texts me like, oh, the date's going really well. I'm excited. I'm like, yay. But then I'll be like, wait, hold on a second. If you're on a date, that means like I'm here with the kids and they're freaking out.

And I am seriously negotiating vegetables while you are on a nice date on a nice date. What the fuck? And then he'll message me like, hey, can you FaceTime her really quick? And I'll be like, okay, no questions asked. No matter what I'm going through. Of course, I'm going to say yes to like a quick face time. You'll do the face time. And then in my head, I'm like, oh, is she cuter?

it's she prettier like it's like what's happening and then there'll be this thing it's like oh my husband's on a date with a really attractive husband like woman go him and then I'll be like wait a minute and then if for whatever reason the date doesn't work out I'll have this moment of relief and then I'll be a little bit annoyed be like I'm sorry he's amazing what what the heck were you thinking not like continuing a date with him so it's like every emotion that you can imagine will probably wild is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang.

And you're never going to guess who's our guest on Lost Cultureistas. It is Bradley Jackson, L. Woods, Tracy Flick, herself. Reese Witherspoon. Rees must go in a girls' trip. I have to have a tequila. We must. Oh! The Q rating.

Cue rating. When they run diagnostic on you guys. I'd be scared. You don't run the Q rating. No, on the Q rating as I get it. My resiliency score is down to adequate because we were on a red eye. My resiliency score.

My grit. I got to get my grit score up. Now, don't think that you're going to come on Los Culturistas, the podcast, and we're not going to at least bring up Big Little Lai Season 3. Whoever said orange is the new pink. We seriously disturbs.

Listen to Las Colcheristas on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians.

I would be the first immigrant mayor in generations, but 40% of New Yorkers were born outside of this country. Artists and activists, I mean, do you ever feel demoralized? I might personally lose hope. This individual might lose the faith, but there's an institution. that doesn't lose faith. And that's what I believe in. To bring you depth and analysis from a unique Latino perspective.

There's not a single day that Paola and I don't call or text each other, sharing news and thoughts about what's happening in the country. This new podcast will be a way to make that ongoing intergenerational conversation public. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos and Paola Ramos as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed.

Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different.

On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Here. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app.

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is a tape-recorded statement. The person being interviewed is Krista Gail Pike. This is in regards to the death of Colleen Slimmer. She just started going off on me, and I hit her. I just hit her and hit her and hit her and hit her. On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slimmer

in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee. Since her conviction, Krista has been sitting on death row. The state has asked for an execution date for Krista. We let people languish in prison for decades, raising questions about who we consider fundamentally unrestorable. How does someone prove that they deserve to live? We are starting the recording now.

Please state your first and last name. Krista Pike. Listen to Unrestorable Seasons, Reason 2, Proof of Life, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now. We were getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing. Bloomberg and IHeart Podcasts present. IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care.

Introducing Kind Body, a new generation of women's health and fertility care. Backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like with the right people in the right hands, and then to find out again that you're just not. Don't be fooled. By what? All the bright and shiny. Listen to IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, starting September 19 on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you went to your husband and said, I don't want to do this anymore, do you think he would stay and not do it? Absolutely. Yeah. I think now we've been, I think now, if I went to him tomorrow and said, hey, I want to be monogyn. I think he would say yes, absolutely. He struggles with how public I am right now. That was my next question. How open is he about all of this with what you're sharing on social media? You know, creating a TikTok was his idea originally. Because I was like, oh, I'm going to write a blog and share some of these stories. He's like, that's nice, honey. Like, here it is. No one's reading a blog. Go make a TikTok.

And so the first couple of videos went quite viral. And for the first four months of the TikTok, He was in a lot of my videos and, like, sharing his perspective as well. And I think the negativity and the criticism and just hate comments became really overwhelming. And he said to me, like, I don't want this in my life. Like, this is taking up too much mental load. The comments I get are awful and untrue. Like, I'd like to not be included anymore. And I was like, great.

So all of his videos that he was in or are gone. And I think that he is a much more private person than I am. and that's even reflected in our agreements and how we communicate with one another. He, yeah, so I think if I went to answer your question, if I went to him and said, hey, I want to be monogamous, would you be okay with that? He'd say yes. If he came to me and said, oh, I want to be monogamous, I would probably really struggle. I am getting a lot of experiences and fulfillment, you know, being able to be open and being able to go and have these experiences that he doesn't enjoy. and right now I feel like I get to live all versions of myself. I get to be a wife.

I get to be a wonderful mother. I get to this incredible partnership. And I get to be, you know, I'm 40. I'm more confident in my looks and my body and, you know, how I want to experiment and the things that I want to do and going after my own desires than I ever was in my 20s and 30s. And I would be, I would really struggle to let go of that. There are plenty of ways that I could express it with just like friends and, and, and, than non-sexual partners in my life. But it's, I feel like I don't have limits

and I'm really enjoying that at the moment. What's better, a man or a woman? I've never been with a woman, so I don't know. I don't think it has to do with gender. I think it's just the individuals. I mean, I know that that's such like a cliche answer at this point in time, but very different, very fun in different ways. I love having both.

I love that I get to experience both. I don't want to compare. I don't want to have to choose one or the other. Do you think if people were, if more people followed in the path of an open marriage, there would be less divorce because of, you know, the fact that it's open, open menu for people if they want? No, I actually don't think so. I would usually recommend an open relationship to most people. But I would recommend some of the mentality, I would recommend an open mentality.

And I would probably recommend going through the process that most people who are in an open relationship have to go to, to just about any couple. And like I said at the beginning, it's like define cheating. I think one of the number one recommendations I would give to any couple, whether the monogamous or not, define cheating.

Is your partner texting? Someone else does that count as cheating? What about watching porn? What about messaging with an ex-girlfriend? What about spending time with coworkers late at night, but they don't tell you about it? You know, what about sexy texting with a chat bot? Right?

Oh my God. The fact that that comes up to my DMs all the time right now is wild. people having open relationships with chatbots that is happening it's beyond my imagination but like those are all conversations really worth having like define cheating and then I think figure out how to have difficult conversations because the number one thing that I think you have to do an open relationship is like what happens when you are attracted to someone else what happens when you're jealous how do you have difficult conversations and usually there's like methods around it like my husband and I will sit down on a couch across from each other and say like, okay, for the next hour, we're going to have

tough conversations and then we're good. And then we're going to go and we're going to snuggle and have a wonderful rest of the night, you know? And so I think that's an important thing for all couples to do. And if you're non-monogamous, you have to do it. You have to figure out how to have those tough conversations. It's interesting you say, though, that you don't actually recommend it or that you wouldn't be like, yeah, you should, you should try it given you're so happy in it and fulfilled. Yeah, I've seen the other side of it too often, I think. which is the people not following the boundaries or the people leaving other people? Like, what is the part that is the biggest X for this?

You know, it's interesting because you started this off with like affairs and cheating. Sorry, just no, no, no, no. I think that I've seen, because if you would have talked to me four years ago long before I was on social media, I would have said I do recommend an open relationship with everyone because of how happy we are and how wonderful it's been for us. Since then, I've talked to probably a thousand people about opening up their relationship. And I've talked to so many people

who were hurt in the process because they felt like they were being cheated on even though they had agreed to it. But again, it was, would I recommend it? I would recommend it to anyone who feels like they can figure out what it takes in their relationship to have freedom and commitment at the same time. Because I think a lot of long-term relationships, I don't know about you, but like the one of the things that I love about

my marriage is it's so stable, it's so structured. Like there's so much deep trust. Our foundation is rock solid. And I think because we have that rock solid foundation, it also means there's not that much mystery. There's not that much sort of butterflies in your stomach. The romanticism disappears and dissipates after a while, it takes a lot of effort to have romance once you have a really stable environment. I think one of the things in an open relationship, kind of going back to the other question of the benefits for me personally, is an open relationship is how we have decided to have a strong, stable foundation of an committed trusting relationship, but then allow each other to have the mystery and excitement, the butterflies, the unknowing, and instability

outside of our marriage so that we kind of get to have both in our lives. And I think that there are a lot of ways that a couple can achieve that. Some couples who are monogamous, it's role play. Other couples, it's like the one crazy vacation they do a year. There are a lot of ways to have that balance of kind of stability and structure and mystery and surprise in a relationship. And an open relationship isn't the only way to go about doing so. But it's, I think, the way that has worked the best for us.

Yeah. It's interesting, too. Yeah, that you say about the, you know, people saying, well, I said, you know, he could do it. And then he did it. Now it feels like cheating. Because I think many women might fall in line with being like, yeah, no, that sounds great. But then when it actually happens, it's, it feels like a betrayal. Yeah.

I wrote a little bit about this at one point. But when I was opening up our relationship, I got to a point where I was said, okay, I think I'm 95% certain I want to try an open relationship. And at that point in time, you just have to take the leap and find out. And I think that leap can be really scary because you've had all the conversations. You've figured out all the agreements. You know how you're going to communicate. You've defined cheating.

And then you take the first step. And you never know how that first step is going to go. It might feel like cheating. You might have the thing happen and be like, and all of a sudden, your entire body is telling you this, this isn't right. I can't do this. I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah.

That's okay. That is absolutely okay. Now you know and now you step back and you're like, okay, this is the, now monogamy is what works for me. Now I know. Right. And I think like you said, it all comes back to the honesty because I remember one time and this might have classified me as an open relationship. I don't know, but where my ex-husband I said, I don't care. Like I, if you end up cheating on me again, like I just need you to tell me. I'm not going to divorce. I'm like, I just need you to be honest. Because the main thing in the end for me, me was all it was never about the act it was about the lie like in that was what killed us in the end was never the act always the lie and so you know i think you know you're having tough

conversations i'm sorry people because they don't agree with your way of living in your marriage people come on and be hateful i i i hate that um again i might not agree with your choices but i love that you they were able to have a conversation i think that's what's so great about it and you know, you're sharing your life and what works for you and helping people online. So where can our listeners find you and follow along in that journey? And kindness, people, be kind when you follow along because, listen, it's like everyone's putting ourselves out there and we don't have to agree, but you can still be kind. Definitely. You can find me at openly committed. So Danielle, openly committed. Perfect title too. Perfect name on there. Beautiful. Across all channels.

Do you mind if I ask, if of all the things that I just talked about and kind of like what I think it takes to make an open relationship work, and I have this like open mentality, what are one of the, what's one of the things from what I've discussed today that you feel like would benefit either you or any monogamous couple kind of based on what we've discussed? I think the having that, again, that real deep transparency. And I think being able to sit down and just be like, what do you like? What do you? And having that conversation, you know, because. I don't, I mean, I guess me and my husband have talked about that, but it's, it can be a intimate and uncomfortable conversation, you know? In vulnerable. Yeah. So I think, you know, just sitting down with the, with your partner and just having full transparency of what sexually you would like and, and how that can open up your marriage,

how you both want it to open up. Yeah, definitely. But I think you're beautiful and wonderful. And thank you for coming on. Thank you for having me. This is very fun. Thanks, Danielle, for your vulnerability and sharing what your unique love story has looked like. This has been an eye-opening conversation. Are you contemplating a non-traditional relationship in your chapter two?

Starting to date and need some advice. Call us or email us. All the info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do part two and IHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. Hey, everybody, this is Matt Rogers. And Bowen-Yang.

And you're never going to guess who's our guest on Los Culturistas. It is L. Woods, Tracy Flick, herself. Reese Witherspoon. Louise, it must go in a girl's trip. I have to have a tequila. We must. Oh. Whoever said orange is the new pink.

We seriously disturbed. Listen to Las Culturistas on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jorge Ramos. And I'm Paola Ramos. Together we're launching The Moment, a new podcast about what it means to live through a time as uncertain as this one. We sit down with politicians, artists, and activists to bring you death and analysis from a unique Latino perspective. The moment is a space for the conversations we've been having us, father and daughter, for years. Listen to The Moment with Jorge Ramos.

Ramos and Paola Ramos, on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now.

Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Introducing IVF disrupted, the Kind Body story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. It grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On a cold January day in 1995, 18-year-old Krista Pike killed 19-year-old Colleen Slemmer in the woods of Knoxville, Tennessee.

Since her conviction, Krista has been sitting on death row. How does someone prove that they deserve to live? We are starting the recording now. Please state your first and last name. Krista Pike Listen to Unrestorable Season 2, Proof of Life on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.