The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Ashley’s Baby Shower – Evolve Your Journey!

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

 It’s hard to know what to expect when Ashley’s expecting… so we brought in our favorite Bachelor Nation mommas to share some words of wisdom! Lauren Burnham Luyendyk, Krystal Nielson, Trista Sutter and more are on the guestlist for the ultimate Bachelor Baby Shower thanks to Hyundai! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency.com and listen now. This is the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcast with IHartRadio. This is such a big episode. I mean, incredibly big episode. Ashley, we're celebrating you.

We are. We're celebrating the evolution of my journey. We have both had big years as far as evolving, you know, because. It's true. Well, you got married. I'm having a baby. We started a business. I bought a house.

You like bought a house this year too. Yeah. Like we just, I mean, we're adulting and apparently it's very chuggy to be calling it adulting today. Did you know that? I have no idea. Okay. Do you know what the word chugie is, Ben? I don't.

I don't, but we did just have a second voice come in. So with us right now is Ashley's sister, one of our favorite people in the world. world. Lauren, who is also here to celebrate Ashley and her evolution and how she's evolved her journey of the last year. We're going to bring Lauren in just a second because we have a lot to talk about as she becomes an aunt. But Ashley, you're right. We have had a huge year, both of us. And it feels like we're maturing right before the audience's eyes. I mean, we have, you know, it's a cliche to say in The Bachelor world, you know, the word, journey. But like you and I have really been on quite the journey since being on the franchise.

And today, yes, we are celebrating it with Hyundai, which is amazing. They're all about evolving your journey. And today they're helping me celebrate the baby boy in my belly. They have sent over some incredible gifts that you guys can't see right now. But oh my gosh, I feel like I'm in an F-A-O Schwartz. Are you kidding me? That was exactly what I was going to say. I hate you. Off the mic.

I was telling Ben, I was like, those are like the toys that like the, I was so jealous of that like the stuffed animals that were like way too expensive that I never like I never thought mom and dad would we couldn't, you know, those were like the rich kid toys. I have these huge stuffed animals that Hyundai has given us for the nursery and

a big like a car and a train set it's so cool and I'm so grateful for them you'll be posting pictures right of these gifts at some point okay yeah yeah yeah um anyway I'm gonna hand the mic over to Lauren so she can explain um what she's been with how she's been with me through out the past eight months you guys can have like some fun chat right now I can't wait all right Well, I don't know what she's been like on the podcast, but it's been, I don't know, I want to say like messy, just in general messiness, forgetfulness, blunders, I don't know, like overall ascetically messy. Yeah, I forgetful.

Like we were like packing up the car this week and just it took two to three hours just to get out of the house because she forgot like a million things. So hopefully once Baby Haven comes, it'll be. be a little less foggy. Yeah. Is that the name? Yep, baby Haven. Oh, I thought you said Haven.

I was like Haven Haven, Haven. Haven. That's a wild name. Haven is pretty, but Haven, Haven, Haven would be weird. Haven, Hayben. So, Lauren, you know, I do feel like we have gotten a fairly good glimpse of Ashley on this podcast, really for the last few months. She hasn't hid much.

But if we were to flash back 12 months ago, Mm-hmm. What, and you were, you were to say, hey, once Ashley is pregnant, this is how I envision Ashley being. Oh, I'm, uh, puffy. Okay. I envision Ashley to be puffy. Uh, like her feet always in the air elevated puffy.

Whenever I think of her as pregnant, like before I knew she was pregnant. I was like, her lips would be enormous and her feet would be enormous. Yeah. Um, generally crying all the time, which is very on. brand she hasn't been crying a lot though really hasn't been why do you maybe the past like two weeks maybe a little bit emotional just because of stress and everything else going on but overall besides her being kind of like forgetful and whatnot she's pretty even keeled where have you step emotionally you know yeah so where have you stepped in then loren so where do you see your

role being for the last few months um if we live closer to each other i feel like i would be delivering her a lot of Dunkin' Donuts and McDonald's, if I could. I haven't been able to do that. My role is basically to get her whatever food or drinks she needs. But after baby, I'm, you know, very open to becoming a living nanny, being there at all hours. It's so weird. Like you see so many people go through pregnancy.

It's like, oh, yeah. Obviously, people get pregnant all the time, deliver babies all the time, but you don't realize, like, how cool it is unless you're like, you're literally watching a belly grow every single day with someone you're so close with. Talk about how you, she's the only person who cares about feeling movement on my belly. Oh yeah. My mom cares. You know, my mom

cares, but Lauren, she really feels the belly. Jared has no patience for waiting for movement. How could you not have patience? You put your hand on a belly, it's all you got to do, and then you feel a person swimming inside of you. It's really one of my favorite past times. And also locating the head and the butt in there, because it's a little hard,

hard spot now i mean and just if case people don't know you guys are very close so when you say you would be delivering food to her you'd be around a lot if you guys live in the same area you're not like that's very true but you i'm sure you're talking all the time right all the time i call her probably talking the phone twice a day maybe and i just say how are you feeling how's the baby you know uh it it's um yeah i mean i wish i could be closer every every day, but she'll be here for the next two months. So then I'm sure a lot of duties will be taken over. I've officially taken off working in like February. I tell everyone, I'm like, you have an appointment with me, but that's tentative unless I want to go see my nephew.

Shout out to Lauren's hairdressing, you know, business. If you want, reach out to her at Lauren AI on Instagram. Just DM her and make an appointment. Her hair looks fabulous. So, I mean, thank you. Thank you. And really just reach out for extensions. That's all I want to do. Okay, but on another note, yeah, so I'm delivering at the hospital that my dad has worked at for the past 27 years here in Northern Virginia. I just knew that I would be more comfortable delivering somewhere where I was so familiar with. And, you know, a couple doctors there or whatever. Yeah, like I'll probably know the person who gives me the epidural, you know, a little bit of the royal treatment maybe. and like my doctor, my dad's known seriously for almost probably as long as he's been there.

So it's just like very comforting for me. And Jared will probably be down here like every 10 days until we have a better idea like what I'm going to blow. Now I just want to point out that I, Jared and I will both be in the delivery room. That's what I wanted to tell you. Yes. So if you guys want content, let me know. I do. I do.

It's going to be so good. So when Jared passes out, which we think he might, Lauren is going to take over as support. I can just see it this way. Like, for whatever reason I have in my mind, Ashley yelling, Jared, Jared just hitting the deck.

Oh, yeah. It's going to be an absolute man. How do you know that I yell Jared's name like that? Because on the podcast, every once in a while, go like, have the dogs barking or there'll be a delivery guy at the door, and you'll go, Jared. she has never said a name more in her life

yes now Lauren a little bit about this process for you because I'm sure as sisters you grew up you know talking about this what is for you personally what has the emotions been knowing that you're about to be an aunt and also the emotions around

when you found out that Ashley was pregnant you have to go watch the video on Jared's Instagram there is a video I'm just I'm screaming in shock I just you know they were trying for a couple months and like every time she would tell me like she wasn't pregnant I get like super sad and almost more sad than Ashley and so when she said like she was pregnant like I just I just couldn't believe it happened so yeah just screaming so excited immediately went out and bought him dog Martins um but yeah I feel like it's just

not going to hit me until I see him like I'm super excited but I really don't have like I don't even know what to expect I don't even know how to hold a child how much nicer is it to like be an aunt for the first like like because I didn't become an aunt until like so I just became an aunt for the first time six weeks ago and it's it's like nice she's like kind of know what my sister-in-law is currently going through what she went through how does it feel for you to be able to like watch the experience first. I mean, it's nice to have, you know, to learn from you and, you know, like a trial run for me. But then again, it will be so much less exciting when mine comes out and it's nowhere near as cute.

Lauren's convinced our kids going to be cuter than hers. Oh, yeah, 100%. That's a nice humble place to sit. Well, obviously, as we've talked about, um, this whole year, uh, for you and Lauren has been about evolving your journey. And the evolution of your journey, Ashley, over the last year, has been something incredible. Now, I want to pause for a second because I know how this is going to go. People are going to go be like, are you kidding me? Jared isn't going to be around for the last two months of this pregnancy. He's going to be gone. Explain how busy Jared is already and like actually

how you came to the decision that he is going to be gone and that you're going to go down and spend some time with your parents and your sister. Well, definitely, ideally, I think when this all started like the idea that I was going to deliver at you know my dad's hospital um we didn't think it would so much align with the time that we opened the business so I was just like oh Jared and I are going to live with my parents for you know five weeks together um and then once the business opening did align with it it was like oh you know it's okay because he's at work genuinely at least 12 hours a day. So it's not like we'd be spending so much quality time together anyway.

And it's not like I'm just like this bustling, like fun person to be with right now, you know? So we would see each other for like an hour at night. I miss him very much. Like, and I want him to be here. He will come down multiple times. He's going to be coming down multiple times. And I think about like all the other couples out there who have to spend even further

amounts of time apart like my sister-in-law who just you know delivered a baby six weeks ago she went an entire year without seeing her husband because he was stationed in the military and she was pregnant throughout the entire thing alone so five weeks with jared coming to make sporadic visits and being with my family it's all good yeah it is even though unconventional i understand i do think this is the best decision for for me uh in my body being unconventional is five It's work for us, right? You met a guy on a reality show. Well, hey, I want to pause here.

We've mentioned it before, but we are celebrating Ashley and Jared and the new baby with Ashley's family, some incredible guests this episode, and it's thanks to Hyundai. This is an incredible baby shower. Ashley has been thrown the best baby shower with the help of Lauren and her mom and others.

They've set up this room for them. It is full of some of the greatest gifts. Any child and any parent, could imagine, thank you, Hyundai. It's incredible to have you a part of this evolution of Ashley and Jared's journey to this point in time. We are so pumped to celebrate the two of you. Hey, let's take a break here.

When we come back, we'll be still with Ashley's sister, Lauren, and we're also going to play a game led by Ashley. All right, guys. We are going to make predictions with all of our guests. We're going to ask them the same questions. But right now we want to start out with Ben and Lauren's answers to these questions. So, guys, my due day is February 10th. What do we think the actual date of birth will be?

Oh. Okay. February 5th. Ooh, I was going February 3rd. Okay. So we're all thinking early. Definitely not late. there's no way Ashley has the patience to go late no shot her whole body is already trying to like

you know make this happen yes uh I agree definitely early we all agree I would say I'd say somewhere right around there like the third through the sixth um birth weight so this is something that I've talked about multiple times I'm worried about it um Jared was 10 he was 10 he was 10 to his mom did and have an epidural. She apparently didn't think it was a thing in 1988. She was sorely wrong. But anyway, yeah, so I, I'm going to go with, I'm going to make my own predictions.

I'm going to go with eight pounds. I'm going to go with a cool seven pounds, eight ounces. I have a feeling this is going to be seven pounds, two ounces. Like, I think this baby is going to be one of those that it's born long. and like lean, and then it just gets so chunky, like three months in. Oh, okay. He's going to be chunky eventually. Actually, one of my prayers, and I mean this, I'm going to write it in my phone for the

prayers that I actually pray and not just saying I would pray for you. One of my prayers will be God give Ashley somehow either the confidence, the courage, or to, or just like help her not have a 10 pound baby. Yeah, yeah. I cannot imagine what would happen. But we want a chunky baby because they're so cute. With the great jawline. All right.

The next one. Oh, okay. The next one, Lauren is very well aware of and the world will be aware of very soon. Does Ben know? Ben, do you know the name of my child? I do not.

No. Guess. So now you get the guess. Tom. Okay, well, it's a good guess, but it's not time. It's not right. No, in all honest. I think I could see you guys going with like, man, that's hard today because names have gotten so like out there and different.

But the first word, the first name that came to mind was like a Trevor, but I don't think it's going to be Trevor. Hmm. Good name, but not. I do like the name Trevor. And I think that Trevor's turn out to be pretty hot usually. Yeah. Oh my God. I guess the goal is for your son to be hot.

Well, is that something you know, no, is that something you guys. think of because yeah you don't want to yeah you want to you want a cool kid in school yeah but you think of you think about them being a stud well yeah because so you know sometimes when we talk about baby names jessica doesn't know like people of my past from high school or middle school or whatever and she'll say a name and i'll be like we can't she's like why i'm like because that reminds me this person and they weren't tight like they weren't nice they weren't cool but there are those names that when you say they have this like feeling of that's going to be a cool kid

Lauren won't let me like name a kid This wasn't a top choice for a boy It actually probably would be a top choice for a girl Logan Because she dated a Logan Yeah that's pretty normal Lauren That was so many years ago

Okay well we could But apparently she gets really mad But let me flip it around on you And how where does that feel? Yeah but like that would be like you coming up With a guy that I had a crush on for like a year Versus, okay I guess I guess it is a long time.

She's just so mean. I guess it is a long time. Okay, okay, okay. I'm wrong. I'm wrong. I'm wrong. I'm wrong. All right.

Next question. The color of the outfit that the baby is going to go home in. I wanted to be in a neutral gray. Lauren is like my stylist when things are important. So I'm probably going to let her choose the color. It might be like an olive too. It could be like olive. Ashley,

there's zero chance that baby is not going home in a New England, New England Patriots outfit. Zero chance. He might have to come home in like a Tom onesie. I 100% know that somebody's going to send it to you or you're going to buy one. Oh, we have them. There's tons. It's going to happen.

Don't send us anymore. Send them to us, but in like different sizes. We have enough zero to three months in Pats and Tom stuff. Okay. And lastly, then Lauren, which parent is the baby going to look most like? They look like twins either way. Yeah, I was going to story. You know, Ashley and Jared have similar features.

So I think Jared, because on the ultrasound, it had a very strong chin. Yeah. And Jared has more, like, distinguished and distinct features, you know, from his eyes to his, like, his cheek muscles. Like, so those things are going to transfer, I think. And no matter what, Ashley and Jared's noses are. similar, but Ashley's nose is very, like, distinct. I think it has Ashley's nose and everything else really looks like Jared. But yeah, it's going to look like Ashley and Jared. They look the same thing. Yeah. Well, thanks, Ben. I said if there's one thing on their face that I'd,

if I had to pick, would rather come from my face than yours. I say it is the nose, but your nose is very adorable too, babe. So either way. You've always claimed that you believe you have a great nose. And I think you have a great nose, Ashley. Thanks. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you, Ben. You It just really annoys me. People think that I got a nose job. It's like, no, I didn't. Lauren did it. I wasn't as blessed.

Oh, this is so good. Lauren, real quick, before we let you go here, any encouraging words for Ashley over the next two months as she finalizes this and that you're going to be with her for it. And then finally, before you send off, we'd love once again to remind people where they can follow you and find you in the area. Oh, my God. Of course.

Um, encouraging words. I think that there's just going to be so much help. And like, I'm glad that mom is going to be there showing you the ropes. You're not going to be alone. And you're going to be delivering in a great place with literally Jared and I by your side. There's something to be scared of. You're going to have a beautiful epidural. And, um, and I think you're, it's going to be less scary than you think. So I mean, I have no idea what I'm talking about. But, I think it'll be fine. That's great. Thanks, Lauren. And then Lauren, where can people find you? You can follow me at Lauren AI and follow the I Don't Get a podcast. Oh, that's right. Yeah, go get those. Shameless plug for the other podcast. Ashley, I am curious. I know he said we'd go here, but I am curious.

A question came up when Lauren was talking. So when are you going to go back to Rhode Island with the baby then? I think probably like three weeks after. Okay. We'll see. We'll see. If that's like cool with, you know, the pediatrician and stuff. Yeah, cool. That would be ideal. Sweet.

Awesome. Well, Lauren, you're going to be the best day and ever. Best of luck as you enter into these next two months with the crying, emotional. I once called her beautiful, Lauren, and I got very strongly corrected to say I don't feel beautiful right now. So I'm not going to say that, but you're going to be the best sister. Oh, yeah, she bit your head off, huh? Yeah, she did. Yeah, I'm sorry.

But, yeah, Lauren, I'm very. Ashley's very lucky to have you here for the next two months and your mother. So best luck. Thank you. Thank you so much. It was lovely being here. Thank you for having me. After the break, we'll talk more about evolving our journey with other bachelor moms who've evolved their journeys. Sometimes multiple times here over the last year. There we go. We'll be back. All right, guys, Lauren Lyndeike is on the line. Hey, Lauren, thanks for being here. Hi, how are you?

Good. How are you? Pretty good. How far long are you, Ashley? I have, I'm 35 and a half weeks, which is like this really weird point that like I was craving to be at for the longest time. And now I'm like, okay, wait, I'm scared. I'm like, no, wait. Stay in. No, come out. Stay in. No, come out. It's like all dependent on the hour. I know. I remember that. Yeah. Describe where you were at this point. Well, maybe with Alessi,

not the twins. The twins, you must have been dying to get out. Yeah, at this point with the twins, I think I had like a week left. So I was very ready. But with Alessi, I think I was kind of in the same place as you. I was like so excited to be there. And then as soon as I got there, like, okay, am I ready for birth? I don't know. But yeah, I also felt ready at the same time because I was very swollen and just like puffy all over. It was really uncomfortable. So I know how I feel. The puffy is kind of setting in. I thought I was going to be puffy way longer than this. But like I can start, I'm really starting to see it in my face. I'm like, this is the time where I should retire from life, you know. I shouldn't leave the house. I think this is the last time I

should leave the house. I think I want to ask you because you just said, like, am I ready for birth? That is my number one fear. Like, I cannot get over that hump of like what it's going to be like the first week of having him because I'm just so, I'm like, that moment of my life will be after I experienced the scariest moment of my life. So is delivery really the scariest moment about your life? No. Honestly, I was afraid of it probably at the point where you're at the point where you're at right now. And then by the time I got really close to the end, I was like, okay, I'm ready. Like, just get her out right now. Like, can you induce me any day? I was just like, didn't even care about the fear anymore. I was just like ready for it to be done. So I think

you'll probably get there too. And then right after, like, you don't really even think about that anymore you're you know you're taking care of your newborn and you're sleep deprived and you're really busy and it's just all new and you're learning a lot so I think you'll forget about it pretty quickly that tends to be what people say it's like you're so ready that it's not even scary anymore um okay so that for the first couple weeks now these are other things that I have no idea I haven't read any books have you did you read any books or anything like that to prepare you for like how do I know how often to feed them how do I know how to swallow You'll learn. I mean, I didn't read any books, which I probably should have. I think a lot of my friends, that's what they did to prepare. But for me, I did some classes, like taking care of babies with what Ari and I did when Alessi was like four weeks old, I think. And that was really helpful. So I would look into that. She'll kind of like teach you how to feed, how often, how to swallow, all that. You'll be fine. And you do that together. You and Ari did that together. Do you recommend?

and Jared and Ashley both doing these? Yeah, totally. You guys have to be on the same page, so he's got to do it with you too. How'd you guys, I'm sorry, I have that freaking phlegm shit, the baby postnatal drip and it's just, yes, nobody talks about it, but like 50% of women like experience it throughout. I'm learning so much, Lauren, through Ashley's pregnancy. Like being able to talk to her every week has been such, like, I'm saying.

sitting here right now. I'm going to be very quiet today, not on purpose, but because, like, I don't even know what to ask. Like, I have zero idea what's going on. I'm learning as we go here. But so, Ashley, I don't know if we talked about this in a while, Lauren, if you didn't know, Ashley, for a long time, and if I'm sharing too much, like, again, I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. For a long time was sick, like every day. Ashley, I haven't asked you, are you still sick often and then this flim thing is a thing like that happens it doesn't happen to everybody but it happens to a lot it's one of those things that people don't talk about and we're in the morning now and this is when it's bad for me in the morning and I definitely have to like eat when I wake up because if not

I have like a stomach full of mucus and that really leads to a lot of nausea for me but no the past four weeks have been really good um I don't think I've thrown up for about four weeks it was like two weeks after your wedding then I started to like just be just be fine victory yeah oh my wow you've been sick this whole time yeah I was I was I threw up through like 27 weeks oh you poor thing I'm so sorry no it was not good Lauren is there anything that you experienced throughout pregnancy or early motherhood that you just did not have any idea existed well now that you're talking about the whole like congestion stuff um i had this weird thing towards the end where my mouth like swelled up and i couldn't talk very well so i just sounded like

my mouth was full all the time it was really weird and i hated it but i got it with both olesi and the twins that's so weird i haven't heard of that but you know what i've had is that dyskinesia where it's just like it tastes my mouth tastes bad like I'll brush my teeth and 10 minutes later it'll taste like I just woke up and didn't brush my teeth again which is like also common they say it tastes like metal like you had a whole bunch of pennies in your mouth that's that's like apparently the most common taste but then there's also just like the old there's like the overall bad taste so I haven't tasted pennies but I just taste an overall badness and it sucks because it makes you want to eat even more than you want to eat

because you just like when you have food in your mouth you don't taste that and then when you don't you're like does your breast smell bad apparently not like nobody says that they smell it but like it just tastes really stale to me oh my goodness that sucks I'm sorry I know okay but so tell me something about like the first week of being with the baby that you never expected um the first week well i don't really i don't remember specifically the first week but i do know when olesi was a newborn i was like so protective over her i wouldn't even let ari take care of her without me either i didn't trust anyone with her really so yeah i don't know maybe that was just me and maybe that's like a new mom thing but I was so protective. Ari would literally be like trying to sit on

my lap while I was breastfeeding her. He wanted to be like involved. I'm like get away. I don't know. I was really kind of weird when I first had her. Is that like instinctual? I've always been curious because you hear like the mama bear come out like once the child is born. Did you expect that out of yourself or is that just did that just happen? That was a total. surprised to me. I thought that I would be able to like take a nap and like let lessee or let Ari take care of her and I would be fine, but it was not that way. I mean, I think my hormones were just out of control. So I was kind of crazy. But maybe not everybody gets that way. No, that's actually a great point to bring up. How did you ever get like any sort of postpartum depression? Did you, how long did it

take for you to feel emotionally and physically normal again? Or do you ever feel physically and emotionally normal again? Yeah, you do. I think with a lessee, I didn't really experience postpartum depression. I did a little bit with the twins. But with a lessee, I just feel like you kind of have this little identity crisis when you first have your first baby because you go from being, you know, just worrying about yourself and being kind of selfish. And like, having all this time and then you have this little baby you have to take care of and it just kind of changes the way that you view yourself and I think I kind of panicked at first when I first had her I was like I don't want to be just a mom and I was like so afraid that I was only be a mom

once I had her but after she was a little bit older I felt like I could get myself back again and I would just like my one piece of advice about that is just remember that it's temporary and like you'll get your time back and it'll be okay again. Okay, okay. That makes me feel good because that's actually like big fear that I've been thinking about more and more lately is just how do I kind of like continue my own life while the child be part of it? Because there's so many people that I feel like after they have the baby, like they don't know themselves anymore. So is there any tip to like get into that zone that you have? Yeah. I mean, I feel like from what I know about you and Jared, you guys are a pretty good. team. So I feel like you guys will be able to kind of bounce things off of each other. So like if you

need time for yourself, he'll probably allow you to like, like he'll take care of your baby while you go do something for yourself. But I think it's just important to go do things that remind you of who you are and things that you enjoy. So don't make it all about the baby all the time. You deserve to have some need time too. Right. Lauren, I'm going to lead us through a little game here in a second. today is about celebrating Jared and Ashley and they're soon to be baby boy. But before we play this game, before I ask you and Ashley these questions, what are you up to these days? Anything you want to talk about, promote, and bring attention to? Well, I'm actually still kind of in the baby bubble with the twins. So we're just climbing out of the hard part now with them. They're seven

months old. So Ari and I are, we are doing our YouTube, so we're always like planning for that and doing videos for that. So if anyone wants to keep up with our family life there, you can do that. I'm actually working on a new project that I can't really talk about yet, but I will say it has something to do with the fashion industry that I'm really excited about. But other than that, like I'm just excited we're going on our first trip, just us too, for fun next week for our anniversary. Oh, nice. Yeah.

That's great. Three years of marriage? Yeah. Three years. Three years. Well, here's the question. Here's how this is going to work. We'll look out for the announcement of your new project.

We'll be excited about that. And your YouTube is incredible. If anybody who does want to follow it, it was recommended to me just to watch by somebody a couple months ago. They said, you've got to watch this. And so I watched probably five of your videos. They're really well done. And so people should.

should definitely go out and check that out. So I'm going to ask three questions here. Lauren, if you don't mind, you'll answer them according to how your household operates now. And then Ashley will be predicting how her household will operate. We'll start each question with you answering, Lauren. Here's the first question. Who changes more of the diapers? It's about 50-50. 50-50. Ashley, who will change more of the diapers? If Jared wasn't working so much, I'd say that he would. I say that he's going to take more voluntarily and I'll have to do more because I'm the only one home, if that makes sense. That makes sense.

Lauren, who is the more patient parent? This is 50-50 as well. You know, we both have our good and bad days. That's great. Hey, Ashley, who will be the more patient parent? I'm not a very patient person in general, but when it comes to, like, our little cuties, I am. So, like, I'm just referring to our relationship with Lois. So if it's anything like that, I will be more patient than Jared.

Lauren, who was more nervous during labor and delivery, you're Ari? Definitely Ari. Ashley, she's not big on needles. Who will be more nervous for? during labor and delivery, you or Jared? I think this is almost 50-50, even though my fear is high. He has a tendency of, I'm not sure if I've ever said this on the podcast before, fainting during, fainting during, um.

Go ahead. It's fine. During vaginal trauma scenes and movies. Oh, no. No way. He's fainted twice in the movie theater. Once during a C-section scene and then once during that bottle scene and Gone Girl. Wait, why? Like, is this just a, is this like a, like, do you know where that comes from?

No. He feels, he feels so deeply. This is. He could come, he'll come on and talk about this. It's a very funny story. The one time the ambulance had to come and his parents had to pick him up from the ER. And like they turned the lights up and they stop the movie and everything. Oh.

my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Can you imagine like, how do your parents say, are you okay, Jared? What happened? It's like, oh, man. There was a C-section for an alien. Lauren, thank you so much for joining us. We wish you the best.

Thanks for sharing your story with us. Final question for you, Lauren. Who do you think the child is going to look most like, Ashley or Jared? I don't know. It's hard. I think initially probably Jared, because I feel like they always look like the dad. But yeah, maybe you later on because he's a boy. We'll see. Who do you feel like your kids look like? Um, Alessi and Lux definitely look more like Ari, but I think Senna looks more like my family. Okay. Interesting. Yeah, I would say that if I had to, like, I can't pick, I can't pick out your baby, your baby faces right now. But I'd say Alessi probably definitely looks more like Ari. Mm-hmm. Yeah, everyone says that. It was really annoying. beginning. Well, Lauren Lineda, thank you so much for coming on. Best of luck with all the things

coming up in the future. Again, please go check out her and Ari's YouTube. And thank you for being a guiding mentor to Ashley as she enters into this new season of life for her. Thanks, Lauren. Of course. Good luck, Ashley. Thank you. Bye. Thank you for you. Bye. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD...

Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. All right. Now we have Crystal Nielsen joining us. Hey, Crystal. How you doing? Hi, guys. I'm so awesome. Ash, I'm so pumped for you. Are you pumped for me? I'm like so scared. Jared and I talk every day. We're like, did we make a huge mistake? Because everyone, okay, so this is what's funny. When you, when you're trying to get pregnant, people are like, when are you going to have kids like oh my god you have to have kids right and then you get pregnant

and people are excited for you but then they also start saying things like um get ready to never sleep again get ready and then i get like comments on instagram which are so annoying and one time i had like an actual emotional breakdown over it um where it was like if you think pregnancy's tough wait to have the kid like oh my gosh 18 years of your life i'm like i have throwing up for 27 weeks and you're telling me it's going to get worse than this. What is going on? So please tell me like that we that this is all quote worth it because that's that's also what everybody says. They're like you know what it is. I know it's the worst part of it's the worst. It's the worst right now. But it's worth it. You know, it's so funny like with pregnancy and having a baby.

Like every cliche thing you hear ends up being true. Like there really is a reason why people tell that. And it really is that I think the biggest thing I wish I could take back from my pregnancy was I had so much anxiety about birth, about labor and delivery, about when the baby comes. And I don't sleep and baby only wants me. And there was so much, just like stress and expectations that I had from fear of other people kind of sharing that with me. And it really took a lot of the joy away. Yeah. Because the real truth is, you know, you're, you have intuition. And Ben, when you have a baby too, you're going to have that too. You're going to have those instincts.

And you know that baby, not all these people on Instagram, not even like, you know, close friends or family members. Like, that's your baby. And you have that special bond. And you just got to listen to that. And then you're just going to be so happy when that baby's in your arms. It is so going to be worth it, Ashley. And labor and delivery wasn't that bad. It was actually a really incredible fun experience.

I want to interject here for just this. second um it is what i've never said this out loud except to jessica but like it is one of my fears and that's we just had loren lyndyke on crystal and i kind of asked her the same question because it is something on my mind often i want to be a dad like i really do i've always thought it you know i could be a dad i always like was like envisioning that you're like made to be a dad but it's oh yeah you're yeah but it's like there's this side of me that uh some some evil or some voice slips in where it's like, but, like, nothing in your life is preparing you for that. Like, you're, you're too selfish. You, you, you barely, like, find time for anything, any, like, friendships or anything

or, you know, right now. How are you going to find time for a child? And I asked Lauren, I said, is it instinct? Like, does it just kick in? Um, do you feel like, is there a preparation you can do leading up to that moment until the child is born? Or does it just happen when you, you're holding that baby for the first time you're going, no, this is it? It's just magic. It just happens. And I'd say like a big thing I know for me personally. I also was really afraid to become a mom. A lot of that I when I did some deeper work realized a lot of it was like self worth and like fear of things repeating from like my childhood into like a life. And that was so much pressure and stress and fear there because it's the unknown. You don't know. But having that fear to like

keep you from experiencing this transformation of yourself like who you are as a person completely changes. And I heard this piece of advice, which has been my favorite. And it's that becoming a parent actually makes you a better person because you're not just showing up for yourself. You're not so selfish anymore. You're showing up as a better person because you're role modeling that in front of someone. And so you get to really tap into who you want to be as an incredible person and influence for your child. So it's amazing. And I think that like Ashley was sharing a lot of women, we just kind of share. the bad stuff because it's it's memorable it stands out it's like oh no I had it worse I was

you know or whatever like here my labor story and there's almost just like pride in it but we should I really wish that talking about the beauty of becoming a parent was a little more memorable as opposed to the standout hard moments does that make sense yeah I really enjoyed keeping it real about the pregnancy because I feel like a lot of people are afraid to talk about like the expectation is that they're supposed to just be happy all the time no and all that and I'm glad that I've been really honest about it but it is so crazy that like the aftermath people are just like well you're in for it your your life is going to change and all Jared and I are talking about over the past couple weeks now is like are we going to like

our life more afterward than we liked it now? Oh, yeah. You're going to love it. You're both going to love it. Okay, thank you. Yeah, and we only fear things that we don't know. I was actually just reading a book by Dr. Joe Despenza breaking the habit of becoming yourself. Have you heard of him or that book? I think I may have heard it from you talking about it on Instagram. Probably. It's an incredible book and he says that we fear the unknown. And so this practice of like visualization, when we can actually walk through, for instance, buying house, getting married, going through labor and delivery, welcoming that baby, when we can sit and actually create a real memory, a real emotion. And we can, we can create this new reality of the future. We walk through it. It's not a scary because

we know what to expect. And that was a big technique of visualization that I did preparing for labor and delivery. It made me feel empowered as opposed to being like, what the fuck is going to happen. And we did have like a scary situation, but I had done my research. I spoke with my aunt, who's a labor and delivery nurse. And she told me, you know, um, of some things to anticipate and expect. So when you have the knowledge, you feel confident going into situations. Well, thank you for that. That actually, that's a technique that I am down for and I think I will start trying. And it's going to be easy and it's going to be fun. And that's just like the intention that you got to set for it. Do you think, all. Do you think it all

Crystal 2, like as we talked about these Instagram comments. And we talk about people's individual experiences being a mother and a father and kind of how they have experienced it. I was talking to my buddy the other day, who is a father of two now. And he said, you know, at first, you would hear all this stuff. And you just kind of accept it. And you like, you know, I'm going to be tired and I'm going to be grumpy and I'm going to, you know, everything, all my time is going to be taken away and all this stuff. You hear all of this and you start to like internalize it. And he goes, you know what I've learned is that parenthood is a lot of what you make of it. Like if you look at this stuff as a gift, if you look at it as fun and a challenge, it doesn't have to be like this

crazy like, oh my gosh, everything's changing type of thing. It's an enhancement to life you have before. Do you believe in that at all? Absolutely. I mean, the book, Man's Search for Meeting. I mean, the guy was in a concentration camp. And a lot of people could look at that as a very defeating moment in their life. And he chose to search for the meaning in it, search for how this would empower him. And he like came out and became this incredible speaker that has influenced millions of lives. And so that's a big thing is things happen to us. Some people can see him as traumatic.

Some can see it as a blessing and as an opportunity to get stronger. And that is a mental resiliency that not only just parenthood, but. thinking about, you know, with your, you know, fitness goals or any other situation in your life, that is exactly how you empower yourself. So I'm totally with you there, Ben. Crystal, we have a game that we want to play with you. But first, I have to ask you a little bit about just like getting back into the health and wellness journey after baby because I was in the best shape of my life when I got pregnant. And then I got super sick, you know, like, I've said multiple times in this podcast, over 20 weeks, couldn't really, just couldn't do anything, right?

So tough, actually. Yeah. And now I'm at this point where it's like hard to, you know, everything's getting squished in my lungs and hard to breathe and all that. And I'm like, out of breath doing the simplest things. And I'm like, how am I going to work my way back into shape, especially when being so tired? So please give me all your advice. You know what? It's like with any big goal or dream. I'm sure like starting this podcast, you just start with a vision of where you want to go. And then you have a little workback plan of little steps you can start taking. Like when I work with clients, they're like, I want to lose 50 pounds. We can't get frustrated that they don't lose 50 pounds in one week. We know it's going to take time to put the 50 pounds on.

It's going to take the 50 pounds off. And pregnancy is the same way. It takes nine months for you to build this beautiful baby and have your body support it. And your body deserves some time and deserve some space and some grace to slowly acclimate back into this new version of itself. And so the best tips, the things that I did is really small and really simple. And this is what I've, you know, shared with all women is just focus on your hydration, focus on foods that give you energy can be tempting to go for a lot of unhealthy foods because they're quick and easy.

But you're really thinking about fueling your body because you're fueling milk supply and everything and just walking. baby wearing and walking. Do it with Jared. Gives you time together because you fresh air gets you out of the house. And most importantly, the sunshine is great for baby because they learned how to balance their, um, I'm totally blanking on what it's called, but their circadian rhythm. Okay. So that is really great. And I'm always so happy to be a resource for you, Ashley, for like deep questions because I did get prenatal certified while I was pregnant. So I really understand the human body as well as postpartum.

So, so awesome. Book of resources for you. I know you are, and I will take advantage. Yeah. I think a puppy comes before the baby for me. I'm very much. I was laughing the other day. I was driving my cars.

You know, I'm very much in a good spot. I like where I'm at, but I was like, I'm going to just follow my friends and follow Ashley and Jared here. And like, I'll walk into this behind so that I get all the hand-me-downs. I get all the resources. I'm feeling really. good about my strategy right now. Crystal, we are going to play a little game with you. The first question I'm going to ask, though. So how this game works, we just played it with Lorne. You're going to

answer according to where you're at in life. And then Ashley will answer into what her prediction will be. But the first question is really just for you to answer for Ashley. This is just a fun little tidbit. So Ashley, get your notebook out here. Crystal, what are the must-haves in a baby bag? And And then what is non-essential? What ends up going to the bottom and never getting used? Like the diaper bag? Yeah. Excellent questions.

Well, number one, it should be a suitcase that you can wheel in. Absolutely. A big one, too. An outfit for you. Oh, we're talking about a hospital bag? No. Your daily diaper bag. Daily diaper bag.

The diaper bag. Oh, okay. Digestive enzymes by Garden of Life for sure. those go in every component. That's for me. Snacks for me. Diapers, wipes, and then a couple change of clothes. I think that's really the essential, as well as some baby Tylenol and nail clippers.

That's pretty much all you mean. Really? Really? So the baby bag doesn't have to be massive. Like you don't have to strap it around. Mail clippers in the baby bag? You will be so surprised how many times you're going to manicure that baby's nails. Every week and a half, you've got to clip the nails.

They're going to cut you. I got some of those gloves already, those little mittens. Yeah, yeah. Well, here's the questions, Crystal. Again, you answer them according to where your life is at now. And then Ashley, we answer them predicting on where her and Jared will stand. So, Crystal, who in your life takes the most pictures of the baby? Now, you are included in this conversation as well.

For sure, me. Okay. Ashley, who will take more pictures of the baby? For sure me. And that alarms me because my eye cloud is already totally, it's just, it's out of storage. And I have the most storage that you can buy on iCloud. So my job in the next four weeks is to just clear a ton out. That's a fun job. That's when I found Jessica's picture on my phone because I had taken it like six months when I had to clean it out. Anyways, good story. So cute. Next question. Crystal, in your life, who is the quickest to call the pediatrician when the baby is sick?

Miles is mom. Really? I love it. Yeah. I love it. Ashley, who will be the first to want to call or call the pediatrician when the baby is sick? Well, my dad's a doctor, so we're going to have him and, you know, he's the first call. And then afterward, it would still be me going the pediatrician, I think.

Yeah. Crystal, who is or will be the stricter parent? Ooh. Maybe Miles. Yeah? Maybe Miles. Yeah, he's definitely more discipline with our dogs, that's for sure. See, that's exactly what I equate to.

and that's what I was going to say Jared just because he's stricter with Lois but he's also like way more fun with Lois too at the same time like he rough plays her he he's just like you know he'll tackle her but like also when she's bad he's way more likely to go

Lois definitely yeah and dogs need like an elf mill we literally just have this discussion like yesterday but I feel like when Endara gets older I might step in and be more strict Because with her being a girl, I'm definitely going to be like, oh, no, no, no, I know what you're doing. Yeah. I played those games.

Very nervous for that stage. Smart. So, Ashley, who will be the stricter parent, you or Jared? Jared. No question. I'm a little bit going to be more strict with, like, education and, like, doing your homework and stuff. But as far as manners and behavior goes, it'll be Jared. There you go.

What a team. Hey, Crystal, before we let go here, thank you again for coming on. any updates in your life that you'd love to share with anybody listening? Any updates? I mean, Miles and I just put in our notice for our current place right now. And we have 60 days to find somewhere to live. I have no idea where we're going.

I'm looking at Nashville. We were. We were looking to move out of state. I think we're going to stay in San Diego because, I mean, at San Diego. And, you know, our support unit most importantly is here. And we realize we really want Endara to have that support growing up. So that's just the big thing. I'd say I'm definitely moving.

I'm currently getting certified in NLP, Neurolinguistic programming. And I'm going to be launching some group coaching to really work with empowering women. And I'm really pumped about it here coming up in the next couple months. You do have some crazy stuff going on. You're going to be moving. You're starting a whole new program. That's really exciting. And Crystal, thank you for taking the time to.

come on and talk to us and celebrate Jared and Ashley and their future baby boy. Oh, thank you. And I just want to say, I'm so happy to connect with you guys because both of you have had big life transitions happen recently. Ben, congratulations on getting married. Thank you. And Ashley, having a baby and becoming a mommy, it's so amazing. And I'm just so proud to watch your guys' journey.

That's the whole theme of this episode, Crystal, is evolving your journey because we felt like the last, you know, 12 months for us has really, you know, we've evolved as humans a lot in just in our experience. So thank you for saying that with us. Oh, yeah. And then thank you for that adorable baby gift that you guys sent to Andara when I announced my pregnancy because she still wears the Patagonia vest and that little pink fur jacket. So she still rocks that they fit her perfectly. So I think of you guys every time I put it on her. She's looking fancy. She's looking fancy there you go well thanks crystal see you guys bye hi hi hi i'm okay i'm okay how are you guys good how are you i'm okay how are you feeling it's weird i feel my best at 35 weeks and i have the entire time

really yeah i mean i know that's very rare and i think it's probably going to end soon i mean it's it's inevitable that it's going to end the same because it's when you have baby what i mean is i feel like i will probably start feeling that like need for him to come out now just like you know like just even turning around in bed it's just like totally Okay. You can turn. Yeah, right. I can sleep on my stomach. I mean, oh, I'm so excited to sleep on my stomach. I'm a stomach sleeper. She is a stomach sleeper. Well, for everybody listening, we have the wonderful Trista Sutter on the podcast right now talking with Ashley about everything good and everything to expect and sharing all of her wisdom on parenthood. Trista, thanks for joining Almost Famous. Thanks for having me. I'm so excited to celebrate you.

and your baby boy oh thank you so much so we've had lauren lyndyke and crystal nielsen on so far and both of them you know have kids in the you know the baby phase yeah and what i wanted to talk to you about is what phase since you have teenagers has been your favorite because i expect that i am going to like more maybe not the teenage phase but like my dad he started really like hanging out with us when we got to like fourth grade and you can sit around the kitchen table and like have actual conversations with them. What, what like define the, um, the stages for me. Oh, it's so hard because honestly, I know this is a total cop out, but I do love little bits of every stage. I am a, I'm a total baby person. So if I see a baby in public, I'm like,

owing and aying and like totally trying to get their attention and love on them. I'm a I'm a huge baby mom. But I did really truly love when they started talking. So it's kind of about 16 months old and they get that personality and they just start exploring expressing themselves. And so that was really fun. But I do have to say right now also Max is 14 and he's like wants nothing to do with us basically. But Blake's Lee on the other hand is 12 and she is loving her mom right now. We have such a great friendship. The other day she told me we were just snuggling in bed and she said, mom, you're my favorite of all my friends. And I about, I know, I know. So, so there. There are just sweet little moments with everything.

Of course, lots of it is really hard too, but I really do love every phase. What was the hardest phase? Oh, goodness. Well, teenage years are definitely not easy. You know, it's difficult because I wanted two kids because I wanted them to have a play partner. Totally. that me too I looked at myself in the mirror today and I was like you know out of breath with my lungs all compressed and I'm like I can't believe I'm going to do this again so that he's you know has to somebody Ben we have to actually talk about that because you are an only child and you turned out fantastic so yeah so yeah so that's why I kind of wanted to have a sibling because I grew up as an only child I wanted them to have a play partner and they really are not close like that and maybe they will be older but it's hard to see them kind

of it's not hard to see them in their own element because I love seeing but both of them thrive independently but I also would love for them to be close and also I you know the kids we were super close I mean I was a stay-at-home mom still I still am and I always had a really close close relationship with both of my kids but now that the teenage years are creeping in, the moodiness is setting in, and they kind of are disconnecting and establishing that independence. So that's, that's kind of hard. I don't know if you knew this, Ashley, but Trista and I have a lot in common. We're both Indiana University grads. So we both went to IU. We're both only children. Trista, that brings in a question for me to you then. Did you feel

all unprepared when you did have two kids to figure out how that operates? Because, you know, you and I both grew up without anybody else around, you know, there's good and bad to that. But did you feel like you could help them build a friendship since you as a child never really saw that with your sibling? Well, you know what? I did. I was lucky enough to have a neighbor who kind of took me in because my parents got divorced when I was in fifth grade and my mom was still working. And so I would go to my friend's house like growing. up, that's where I was all the time. And they had three kids, one older daughter than me, one younger daughter than me, and one younger son. So I kind of had siblings in that relationship

or that family relationship. But I will say that I think I got a lot of help from my friends. I had a lot of like mommy and me. I went to a mommy and me group when I was, when Max was just, I mean, he was brand new. And I still, one of my best friends here is still from that group. And they, you know, we would always get together in these big groups. And I learned a lot from them. So I think that it came from not only the relationship I had growing up with my neighbor, but also from my friends and just seeing how they were with their kids besides the fact that I was a pediatric physical therapist for four years. And so, you know, I had, I had experiences with families who had multiple children in my work environment before I had kids.

With, oh, go ahead, Ben. Do you fall up? Yeah, I do. I'm going to switch gears here pretty drastically. But I feel like this is a, this is a question. So maybe not a follow up, but another thought. Yeah. All good. All good. Whatever direction you want to go. This is, this is something that is it, you know, with Ashley and Jessica, I don't feel like it's going to be as big of an issue. But in my mind, I'm very curious. Okay. Can you have a glass of wine or a couple drinks while you're breastfeeding? Or there's a term that I've heard.

Pump and dump. Pump and dump. Pump and dump. Or do you have to pump and dump and dump? Pump and dump in. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it depends on who you are and what you believe.

If you are pretty conservative, then there's no wine, no nothing, you know, I think there are people who would have a glass of wine and not worry about it. I was more towards the conservative side and would pump and dump if I was going to indulge in some alcoholic beverages. But I think it totally depends. I don't think it's against, you know, any moral character to take care of, or moral, I don't know what the word is. to like indulge and and give yourself some me time. But I also feel like there is that responsibility of knowing that you are giving your child nutrition and what you are putting in your body is going into your baby. So I aired always on the side of caution, but it's totally, you know, an independent decision.

Ben, I will shock you because you know that in notably France and Australia, that women have like up to five glasses of wine a night, I mean, night, not a night, a week, a week, while pregnant. Not during the first trimester usually, but not a big deal at all. One glass of wine a week, especially in your third. First trimester, you definitely want to be careful because that's the brain development and you can, you can do some harm there. So I think being even extra cautious during those times, I mean, especially with what you eat and like not eating sushi, not eating deli meat, I'm eating deli meat now. At 35 weeks, I'm like, I'm eating the deli meat.

I'm good. Okay. Okay, so let's talk about your relationship when it comes to kids. When you and Ryan had Max, do you feel like it strengthened your relationship or put more of a strain on it? Like, my parents say that, like, they were, like, bonded and had like, just the magical time when I was born. Okay, that's amazing. I know. I know. I think it was all too easy for my mom, though. She's just very maternal and she's just like, pregnancy was also a snap for her.

Awesome. I had a horrible pregnancy, but I had, I, when my babies popped out, that was like the magical, the magical time for me. I would say it was hard on us because Ryan didn't feel as connected to his children at first because they are just this little tiny blob and they were completely 100% dependent on only me. And he was still working at the time and I was breastfeeding and I was doing every single breastfeeding. I didn't want to burden him. So I didn't pump and do like bottles. I would definitely recommend doing that pumping, putting it into a bottle if your baby is able to take the bottle because it does encourage that that time with Jared, that time with their dad. And so for us, I think it was, it was definitely strange because they were all about me.

They needed me, only me. And of course, Ryan loved his children when they were babies, but it was hard on us. It wasn't, I'm like your mom. I'm very like maternal. And it was all about them when they were babies especially when did he start clicking with them uh i would say probably when they started talking like you know around like to something like that and he has great relationships with them but it's it's more for him about you know he's this active mountain guy and being out on the mountain going on hikes going backpacking actually, I might take that back. I might say later on, like, not two years old for him to connect with them,

but really he connected them with them when they were able to go on camping trips together, when they got to go skiing together. You know, he taught them how to ski starting at two years old. So those kind of things, I think once he was able to share his passions with them, that's when he really connected with them. I've heard that so much. Even Jordan Speath, one of my favorite professional golfers just said that this week. He's at his first golf tournament since having his first child. And they're like,

how has it been? He's like, I mean, it's fine. I just, I just sit there and she does all the work. And I just like, try to fill in where I can, but I'm not needed. And so I don't feel bad about being at this golf tournament because I know the baby's just fine. Um, totally. Yeah, right. Trista, uh, we're going to play a little game with you, uh, here. We've been playing it with everybody. But before we start the game, and I'll lead us through the game here. I'll tell you how it works. But before we start the game, you know, you are the mother of a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old. You have at least 14 years to look back now on parenthood. And I am sure there's something because you are very introspective.

You think very deeply that you have thought through in the last few years where you go, I just maybe wish I would have done this differently or I'm really glad I did it this way or there's wisdom. Take a few minutes here and just put any wisdom on. Ashley, is she's just about two months away, less than two months from having this child. What would you tell a brand new mother? Well, there's a few things. I think number one is give yourself some grace. You're not going to do everything perfectly. No one ever does. You're learning and there have been millions and millions of millions of other moms, so rely on them, but also give yourself some grace. I think also going

into having the baby. I'm sure you have a birth plan or have thought about this. And obviously you're good friends with Jade. And she could tell you this, but have a birth plan, but don't like stick to it because shade and my birth plans could not be any different. Totally. But like having one is a good idea, but also not like knowing that things can go wrong. Yeah. I had an emergency C-Sys section and it was super scary, but I knew I would totally trust it in my doctors. So I think just knowing that your doctors know what they're doing. And then, you know, a big, huge piece of advice. I always say this is, this was the biggest piece of advice that I ever got. And it's kind of controversial in that some people think that it's like kind of cruel to do, but developmentally,

I think it's the best thing for your kids and my kids are great sleepers. So when it comes time to, it's like, I think it's three months. I think we moved Max into his crib. And then we started doing cry it out maybe at four, when they start eating solid foods. So at like four or five months, we did cry it out. And it was the best thing. Also, we didn't have a shared bed. And if you're concerned, which I know that's on your mind of keeping the connection alive with Jared, I would say try to stay away from a shared bed where they sleep in your bed just because you guys still need to nourish your relationship.

And that's really difficult to do when a baby is sleeping with you. So I think trying to cry it out, it is horrible and torturous. on the mother especially. But as long as you know that they're safe in their bed, you have the monitor on, just let them cry. They need to learn

that they can take care of themselves and they'll be safe, you know? Interesting. That's, I'm all about that because there's no way, there's no way a puppy first off is sleeping in the bed.

And I'm real big. You're not letting the puppy sleep on the bed? The fact that, oh, my, Lois, in our bed is the greatest time of our day. Like, we love when we, like, pick her up right before we fall asleep and put her right in between us and we just, we're in all. Oh, you, you, you, you, you, you think different.

Yeah, it's going to change when there's a baby. Yeah. And I don't want the baby in the bed, but I always want my little baby, my little baby dog in the bed. Your lily baby, love it. Ben, you might change your mind when you get that. And are you getting the puppy? I think so.

I mean, don't tell Jesse. I think so. I don't know. I don't know if I have an option at this point. There's already like, there's already way too much. We're way too far ahead in this point. I love it. Okay.

Here's the game. Here's the game. So, Trista, I'm going to ask you a couple questions. You're going to answer them the best of your abilities, okay? And then Ashley is going to answer them as well, predicting for her future what will happen. This is post baby being. born you ready yes who was better at singing lullabies you or ryan me hands down i don't think he sang a lullaby at all ashley you or jared this is so obnoxious how many times i've

compared our future child to lois but it'll be jared because he loves turning her upside down cradling her and singing songs to her. Oh my God. I need a video of that. Unbelievable. Who is or was better? I guess was would be the better way to say this, I'm assuming. But who is better at packing the diaper bag? Hello, mommy organization.

And I was the one that was always in charge of it. So I needed to make sure. Although I will say this was a big thing to learn from me. we went on a trip one time and I actually forgot diapers and we were in the airport. Couldn't find them anywhere. Thankfully, there was a sweet mom in a restaurant that I was like, is there any way that you could spare a diaper or two? So just your diaper bag needs to be very carefully prepared. I honestly, I was more up in the air if I would have predicted when I asked you this question because Ryan as a camper and as somebody goes outside is very used to the,

the details of packing a bag for long trips away. And so I thought maybe just maybe this was a hidden talent of his. No. I mean, he's good at packing, but I was always in charge. Fair enough. Fair enough. Ashley, who will be better at packing the diaper bag? That'll be me.

Jared, when it comes to little things like that, can be forgetful. And I have a Mary Poppins bag always. Yeah, fair enough. Well, final question here. This isn't a predictive question. I think Ashley probably has a very good idea of, how to answer this question. But Trista, what was the first thing you ate and drank after delivering the baby? Oh my gosh. I have no idea. I don't, I don't remember. Oh, well, actually, I probably,

I think I do. So the first delivery with Max, it was emergency C-section. So I had to go and I had to go under general anesthesia. So they don't really let you eat much afterwards. But I am obsessed with the graham crackers in the hospital for some reason. And I had to have their graham crackers. So it was probably graham crackers. Ashley, what will be the first thing you eat when this baby is born? I don't know what the first thing I'm going to eat is because like that'll have to do with like how I'm feeling. Okay, what's the thing you're looking forward to most? Okay, the thing I'm looking forward to I'm looking forward to having a charcuttery board or like a cold cut sandwich guilt free. Like because I just said like I have been eating it a bit lately, but I'm excited to not feel any worry going in for it.

Also, really excited for a spicy tuna roll. Oh, that a girl. Trista, thank you so much for joining us. You're always a treat and a pleasure and absolutely incredible. Couldn't say enough good things about you. So thank you for coming on the day and sharing all of your wisdom with Ashley Jared and the future new baby boy. Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you for having me.

I'm so excited for you and can't wait to hear the good news. Bye. you know it wasn't repetitive um we just got a lot of good advice and i feel like i say we yeah because i'm in it too i'm like you are one day soon enough i feel like you are going to be in it i know that you and just say a couple years right but why do i feel like it's not going to be a couple years why do i feel like it's going to be like within the year that you tell us that she's pregnant because just like i said this uh the puppy will never sleep in the bed um my i i consider i consider changed my mind. That's just one of the things I've accepted about myself. And so you never

know. But Ashley- Does that mean she's pregnant now? No, no, I can promise you that. Is there preventative measures being taken? No, but I do make that joke often, and it's not funny for her. So I've been told that I can no longer, like, make that joke around people and, like, not say we are, but, like, kind of hint at it. And then she's like, you can't do that. That's not funny. I'm like, I think it's funny. You guys,

I say this because he kind of like said something on the phone the other day. And I was like, wait a second. Yeah. It really throws people off. Yeah. So, Ashley,

to close out this podcast, this is your celebration. Through the IHeart family and through the almost famous family, who's listened for so many years now. And you had some great advice from some great mothers. But to close it out, I would just love for you to take some time to tell all of our listeners and tell me,

how are you doing? how are you feeling what are your emotions right now you're getting very close it's definitely like as crystal said a lot of fear of the unknown a lot of just questioning about like if we're prepared how how we're going to handle the life change um if things will come instinctually whether I need to do more research. So there's like a lot of anxiety, but like I'm also really excited about, of course, meeting him. I'm excited about seeing his personality develop. I'm excited about seeing his face.

I am excited about like feeling like healthy again. And yeah, I don't know that kind of covers it. I think that everybody keeps using the word, like, excited. But I definitely think anxious probably fits it a little bit more. But it doesn't mean like we're not looking forward to it. We are. But there's just so many unknowns. And I liked her advice about, like, visualizing what it's going to be.

Because, like, you know, power positive thinking, it's kind of like what I've always done. So I'm thinking, like, just put that out there. do what I've always done with like even Jared right on Bachelor in Paradise and since like you know just like kind of keep believing it's going to be great and it will be how can final question for you and again we want to thank Hyundai for helping us celebrate Ashley's baby shower they have been incredible to Ashley and the almost famous team as we have celebrated and are going to continue to celebrate Ashley and Jared as they're Their evolution, or as their journey continues to evolve now into being parents over the next few months. But thanks to Hyundai for doing this. Ashley, final question for you. People are listening. They care about you.

They obviously listen to us talk every week. I'm your co-host. So I'm here too every week. How can people now best support you and Jared over the next few months leading up to this? I think just like send the positive vibes. instead of the vibes that are like oh my god you're in for it you know because we just talked about this too just like oh just like wait to you know you're so tired and like wait to like they talk back to you and all that stuff it's like can you just like let me enjoy each moment and just send

positivity and just say um like it's going to be the the best instead of thinking about all the negatives. Yeah, because you know, like, you know these negatives exist. Like, it's not, it's not like, you don't have to remind me. Yeah, you don't have to remind you. What you, what you need right now. And that's why I asked that what you need right now is for people to lift you up and to be positive and to get you excited because it's going to be hard, but you're going to figure it out. You're going to be a great mom. And Jared's going to be a great dad. But, and it's going to be awesome. And people, you just need people to tell you that. It's weird because, like, I'm always about, like, keep it real, right? So I want you to keep it real with me. But,

like there's a reason that people have multiple kids. It's because they like it more than they don't like it. You know what I mean? And then sometimes the comments you get are like that it's Ms. And it's just like, you know it's not because you wanted to do it all over again. Yeah. Well, Ashley, and if Jared was here, but I'm sure he'll listen. It's going to be awesome.

You guys are going to be great. You're made for this. Have a great time. And thank you all for listening. and celebrating Ashley and Jared's baby shower with us. Again, thanks to Hyundai for helping us put it on. Thank you, Hyundai, for my toy store. It's so cute.

It really is. Well, with that, this is another episode of Almost Famous Podcast. A very special, special episode. I've been Ben. I've been Ashley. See ya. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, Almost Famous Podcasts on IHeartRadio, or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen. now. This is an IHeart podcast.