The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Ben's “Spies” Dish All about Mercedes Date

Episode Date: December 21, 2025

After talking to Mercedes blind date, it’s time for Ben to get the REAL scoop from his trusted spies, DeAnna and Kathy.   Kathy is giving the details on what happened after the concert and the sound advice she gave to Mercedes!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation

with some of my favorite musicians. Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Lave, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name. And this season, I've sat down with Black Pumas, Alessia Kara, Sarah McLaughlin, and more. Check out my new episode with John Legend. I feel like, in a lot of ways, our careers are paralleled in some ways,

but they just never intersected for some reason. I know. Listen to Nora Jones is playing along on the I-Heart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm investigative journalist Melissa Jeltson. My new podcast, What Happened in Nashville, tells the story of an IVF clinic's catastrophic collapse and the patients who banded together in the chaos that followed. It doesn't matter how much I fight.

It doesn't matter how much I cry over all of this. It doesn't matter how much justice we get. None of it's going to get me pregnant. Listen to what happened in Nashville on the IHeart Radio. app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody. It's Chuck and Josh from the Stuff You Should Know podcast, and it's that time of year again when we knuckle down to do our annual holiday episodes. We collected our best past classic holiday episodes and compiled them into a 12 Days of Christmas Toys playlist that the whole family

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I'm hungry you. What's up, y'all? It's Kadeen. And DeVal, the host of the Ellis Ever After podcast. This holiday season. Tune out the noise and tune in to Ellis Ever After. On Ellis Ever After, we get real with our crew about family, love and marriage, and everything else in between. Listen to Ellis Ever After on America's number one podcast network, IHeart.

Follow Ellis Ever After and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today. IHeart Podcasts bring you the ultimate Summer of Love Tree. This is famously available. Hey, everybody, it's famously available. I have two famously available ladies co-hosting with me today. They're amazing. They're fantastic. That's why they're famously available and doing this podcast with me.

We're here today because they were some of the spies during Mercedes and Bryce's date at Jingle Ball. Now, I have already talked to Bryce. I really don't know any behind the scenes of this date. And so today I'm bringing Deanna and Kathy here on to really tell me about the date from their perspective, what they saw, what they know, what went good, what went bad, catch us up. And here's the fun part about this show, I think. We get Mercedes perspective. We get Bryce's perspective. We also get spies' perspectives. And so somewhere in the middle is going to be the truth, but everybody's truth counts. So, all right, ladies, let's kick this off. Deanna, I'm

want to start with you. Tell us, I guess, before I kind of talk about what Bryce talked about, I would love to hear your conversations with Bryce and Mercedes before the date started. What were you excited about? What were you thinking could happen? Kind of that pre-interview that you did that we can all listen to. Okay. I've actually been really looking forward to this.

I joked with Bryce that he thought he was just going on a date with Mercedes but truth be told he was going on a date with Mercedes me Kathy uh like dozens of other people you know what I mean so I listen thanks so much for letting me be a part of their initial like meeting I so so enjoyed getting to interview him and kind of lay up what he was walking into and I don't know Ben but I kind of let Bryce have it I didn't let him Like I didn't make it this like gentle, smooth transition for him. I kind of let him have it before he got to meet Mercedes. And I joked with him and we, I laughed a lot.

I'm not sure Bryce thought I was as funny as I thought I was. But listen, I had a great time. But what I want to say is what a unique experience to be sitting in the room when Mercedes walked in and to have eyes on the two of them the very first time that they got to meet? it's like one of my favorite things about weddings too you know what I mean when you see the bride walk up and you see the groom and he's crying and he's in love and he's you know it was the same situation because I Mercedes and I rode to the studio together so we had the opportunity to talk and she was a little nervous and she was excited and then she got to stand outside of the door and and be there

for the 20 minutes I got to interview Bryce and probably her nerves and stuff were just adding up And what a fun experience to see her come into the room. Because, you know, you're expecting them to be, like, blown away. You know, Kathy, you know, because you got to see him too and take a look at him and see his looks, his physical appearance. But I think he was a good looking guy. And Mercedes, we know, is gorgeous. But how fun it was to sit in the room and kind of see her come in. Because there's a piece where she's trying to play it cool, too.

You know, she doesn't be like off the bat like, oh, he's ugly. Or, oh, damn, he's so hot. But she's playing it cool, but also she's super nervous and she's excited too. And he tried to claim he wasn't nervous, but like, we all, we all know. I want to know, what did you think when you saw her lay eyes on him? Because clearly you got to see him first. So what was your take when you saw her meet him? How did she look?

I thought initially they were both trying to play it cool. And I think actually when we were recording, I made this little note because you could see the progression as an outsider. you could see the progression as the interview went on. Like, they were a little too scared to make eye contact. They didn't look at each other too much, but they both wanted to, like, check each other out. They wanted to look at their physical appearance. It is important to have that initial attraction. But as the interview went on, they started to look at each other a little longer.

The eye contact was stronger. They started to comment on each other's physical appearance. I just was like, how cool to, like, sit in that situation and get to see the two of them really take each other in. And I think that initial traction was there that I think that, well, I don't think, I know he found her attractive off the bat. Like he made that perfectly clear. I heard him within the first couple of minutes say, wow, holy crap, like you're so my type. You are stunning.

Like he was captivated with her physical appearance because she's gorgeous, obviously. But it was funny to see her too loosen up because she was nervous. Who wouldn't be? But it was fun to see her loosen up too because as someone, who is available, Kathy, eye contact is very important to me, and I could see the two of them start to pay attention to each other a little bit more and hold eye contact a little bit more and really actively listen to each other and try to comment on each other.

It just was the nerves wore off, and then you got to see the natural progression of what a date really looks like. Wow. Kathy, for you, you weren't there for that first moment. But we had talked with Mercedes before the date started. So you did have an idea of what she was wanting and expecting. Give us your kind of initial interpretation or feelings when you saw the two of them together for the first time. Okay.

Well, that's where the humor began for me because I kept trying to find them. I was up in the suite and I said, where's Mercedes? She just went downstairs. literally we were when I was downstairs she was upstairs so finally I decided to stay put waited until they came in and of course shy person that I am I went right up to him and I said so I'm Mercedes mother and he kind of looked at me and I said not really but for tonight yes I am and so tell me about you I mean I started peppering him with questions and it was so funny the first thing he said was well she's so beautiful and I'm just I said so what do you

you looking for? And he said, well, I'm really just, I'm looking for a beautiful woman. I said, oh, do you want to date me? And it just completely put him off. Like, you know, I'm just kidding. He said that it was interesting, though, because anyone who knows me, I'm, I go right in like, okay, I'm just going to, I'm the spy here, but I'm also, you know, the attorney, the opposing counsel, and I'm just going in. And so I asked him, what he was looking for, and he said a beautiful woman, which, you know, doesn't really narrow the field. But as you said, Deanna, Mercedes is stunning.

And then he said something about his parents had just moved to Florida from Kansas, and they wanted him to get married and have a couple of kids. And he thought he should do that. But he didn't know how it was going to work out because she was in that, because Mercedes lives in Nashville and he lives in California. So I said, as any logical person would, Oh, so you're not interested in dating someone long distance. Oh, no, I'm open to that.

I'm open to that. And so I said, oh, and he said, in fact, you know, I'm going to go to Nashville and see her. You know, I'm going to go and see where this goes. So I'm thinking everybody's hitting it and off until I talk to Mercedes. Listen, I think that we should start off by giving Bryce some credit. Okay. it is a lot to ask someone to go on a podcast, let alone television or anything else and put himself out there. So like, let's give him some credit. He went into this completely blind.

And not only was he not just going on a date alone with Mercedes, he had to deal with everyone else involved. Like, you know. Did he seem nervous? Because he didn't to me, Deanna. He didn't seem, he seemed just go with the flow kind of guy. In the group setting, once we got to the concert, I think he did a really great job. But I would say that when we interviewed him in the studio before he met Mercedes, he was a little nervous. Like he was like, hey, I'm super confident. Well, I don't know.

If you have to say you're confident, I'm so sure you're super confident. But who would not be nervous? I am giving this young man some grace. And listen, when you hear the interview, I, maybe I'm an asshole. I don't know. I really gave it to Bryce. I didn't let him cut any corners. I didn't let him give me schmoozy answers.

I really asked him some challenging things and I made him laugh a little trying to loosen him up. I think it only got awkward when I asked him about if he was going to kiss her that night. And then I told him when he did, it's only weird if I lean in too. So poor Bryce. Poor Bryce.

You know, I think there's a few things. I did just get to talk to Bryce. I do want to be clear here. We got to give him the benefit of the doubt because it is a weird situation at every level. Yes, you're getting set up on a first date. That's weird. Yes, you know that at some level people are going to be listening to the details of this date,

depending on what they want to share. That's weird. The other one is he's walking in to a group of people that know each other or at least are familiar with each other. And you are the outsider and everybody there knows that you're on a date with this incredible human who we all think is a massive catch. for any man. So there's a lot going against you when you step into it.

Ben, you're dismissing the whole part where he's looking at a bunch of people who were on television. He has seen the show. Like you're dismissing the whole other piece of like he's walking into a celebrity-filled event where there's a red carpet and you're being surrounded by a bunch of, quote, celebrities who have been on television. Like, I can't imagine the level of pressure that he was feeling. And I thought he did an excellent job.

I thought he did a great job. Yeah, I didn't see him nervous. Again, by the time I met him in the suite, he had done the interview with you already, Deanna, the podcast, he'd already spent time with her. I got the pleasure of sitting behind them on the bus on the way to the concert. And we all know Los Angeles and Los Angeles traffic. What was nine miles took us an hour and a half to get there. And I got to sit behind them on the bus, you guys, with no one else around. And they were cute. They were talking to each other. They were talking about their families. They were pulling up their Instagram accounts. He was very attentive to her and he was very complimentary. So if they don't

get married in the end, okay, I thought it was a really great first date. I thought he was a great person to be set up with on a first date. I thought she handled it really well, whether they're going to go on a second date or keep in touch. I thought it was a really great first date. She was cold. We were having to stand outside and wait on her Uber and she was really cold because she's wearing this beautiful, cute dress with no sleeves on it. And he did not hesitate to take his jacket off and put it around her shoulders. You guys, those things are so important. He may not be the right person for her, but he was chivalrous. He was kind. He was complimentary. I think he was honest. And he was all about Mercedes that night. Not to mention there were a ton of other hot

girls in the room. He could have dismissed her and literally checked out any other girl in the room. He followed Mercedes around all night. He adored her. He found her beautiful. He was interested. I thought it was a fantastic first date. For whom? I think in general, it was a fantastic first date.

Whether they see each other again, when we're looking in the grand scheme of first dates, it was better than mine. It's 5.23 p.m. One of your kids is asking for. a snack. Another is building a fort out of your clean laundry and you're staring at a half-empty fridge and thinking, what are we even going to eat tonight? Or you could just hello fresh it. With over 80 recipes to choose from every week, including kid-friendly ones, even for picky eaters, you'll get fresh ingredients and easy step-by-step recipes delivered right to your door. No last-minute grocery runs. No, what do we even have fridge staring? And the best part, you're in total

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We have some breaking news to tell you about. Tennessee's attorney general is suing a Nashville doctor. In April 2024, a fertility clinic in Nashville shut down overnight and trapped behind locked doors were more than a thousand frozen embryos. I was terrified. Out of all of our journey, that was the worst moment ever. At that point, it didn't occur to me what fight was going to come to follow. But this story isn't just about a few families' futures. It's about whether the promise of modern fertility care can be trusted at all.

It doesn't matter how much I fight. Doesn't matter how much I cry over all of this. It doesn't matter how much justice we get. None of it's going to get me pregnant. Listen to what happened in Nashville on the I, My Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever listened to those true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers? And what is this?

How is that not a story we all know? What's this? Where is that? Why is it wet? Boy, do we have a show for you? From smartless media, campside media, and big money players comes crimeless. Join me, Josh Dean, investigative journalists. And me, Roy Scoville, comedian, as we celebrate the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals.

We'll look into some of the silliest ways folks have broken the laws. Honestly, it feels more like a high-level prank than a crime. Who catfish is a city? And meets some memorable anti-heroes. There are thousands of angry, horny monkeys. Clap, if you think, she's a witch. And it freaks you out. He has X-ray vision.

How could I not follow him? Honestly, I got to follow him. He can see right through me. Listen to Crimless on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dad had the strong belief that the devil was attacking us. Two brothers, one devout household, two radically different paths. Gabe Ortiz became one of the highest-ranking law enforcement officers in Texas. 32 years, total law enforcement experience.

But his brother Larry, he stayed behind and built an entirely different legacy. He was the head of this gang, and nobody was going to tell him what to do. You're going to push that line for the calls. Took us under his wing and showed us the game, as they call it. When Larry is murdered, Gabe is forced to confront the past he tried to leave behind and uncover secrets he never saw coming. My dad had a whole other life that we never knew about. Like, my mom started screaming my dad's name, and I just heard one gunshot.

The brothers Ortiz is a gripping true story. about faith, family, and how two lives can drift so far apart and collide in the most devastating way. Listen to the Brothers Ortiz on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians.

Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leveh, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name. And this season, I've sat down with Black Pumas, Alessia Kara, Sarah McLaughlin, and more. Check out my new episode with John Legend. I feel like in a lot of ways our careers are paralleled in some ways, but they just never intersected for some reason. I know. We don't know which way you go Listen to Nora Jones is playing along On the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I got the question asked to me this week at an event. They said, Ben, I'm single. I don't want to meet somebody. What do you recommend? And I say, go on dates. Like, just do it. Like, they're not all going to be. perfect. Right. And I do think there is this scale for all of us when it comes to the first date

that as long as nothing happened that's that memorable, really. I mean, that's kind of my standard is like as long as nothing happened that that is that memorable and that hurt us or there was something said where an argument got brought up in the first date, then that's a good first date. It might not mean that there's a second. But goodness, we'll say, hey, this first date didn't hurt me on by going. Exactly. Yeah, I guess I guess we're we're arguing semantics here because to me at my age, a good first date means I want to see the guy again. Otherwise, it's a date. Yes, I had a date. But if I say to you, I had a really good first date, it means I want a second date. So I think it's just my interpretation. Sure. I think that's the beauty of this podcast too is we've got three

wonderful women who are available that view relationships and dating very differently at different stages in lives. And I guess I appreciate that, Kathy, because I've kissed enough frogs to think, oh, well, at least there is still a kind human being out there. At least there is a guy who had enough piece about himself that he at least showed up as a gentleman that night. Because, listen, hey, it could have gone. He could have pulled up her skirt. He could have tripped her on the red carpet. He could have told her she was an idiot. I mean, it could have gone seven ways sideways. So, I mean, I'm saying if that had been me and I wasn't interested, I might I'd answer the question, you know, Bryce was a really nice guy, had great manners, you know,

he carried my bags in the gifting suite, he opened doors for me, all those things. But there wasn't the chemistry there. That's the answer I would give. I think Mercedes voiced that he would not be her typical type. That was the thing. And what I encouraged her is that if we all went with our typical type, look where we could have ended up. sometimes we have to think outside of the box and outside of our comfort zone because we might

typically chase chaos. So I know he's not her typical type, but at least he was a decent human being that showed up for a first date. And really, I also think, you know, we should give Mercedes some credit here as well. She has all these people that she actually does know well. And some of her good friends are there. And so she's trying the balancing act of seeing if this guy is a good potential for dating while also looking around the room and seeing her friends and seeing what they're thinking about him. And, you know, I don't know Mercedes as well as you do. We've spent a couple of times together, but she seemed very, very honest with me about what was going on in the date and particularly when we got back to the hotel after the date. Let's, let's dive in here a bit.

I want to talk about Bryce a little bit more because I did just get off of a conversation. with him. Deanna, you were on the sprinter van. I'll kind of roll through all these scenarios that were brought up during our conversation. Kathy, you were involved in some of them. Deanna, you were around for some of them. He explained to me the sprinter van situation. It sounded like to me, just by a listener, that he did kind of crush the sprinter van two-hour drive with a bunch of friend or a bunch of her friends that he didn't know, you know, sitting next to a girl having these conversations. It sounded like it went better than it could of. Do you agree? I do. I do. And I'm telling you, I literally sat in the way the sprinter van was my seat was raised up a little bit so I could

kind of see what they were doing. I could watch their body language. I could see the way he was leaning in to her. I think that I got the vibe from pretty early on that he was into her more than she was into him. But with all of that being said, I do think that the date went best case scenario for first dates. They can be awkward. They can be annoying. You cannot like somebody off the bat. And right, she did the same. She hung out with this person all night long in a situation. And they were together at all times. It's not like she was like, oh, I don't like this guy. And she left him alone. She very much catered to him as well. She was also a good first date. But I thought it was all there. even on, it was an hour and a half drive in traffic in Los Angeles.

Like, it was annoying. We were all like, okay, let's get there. You know, hurry up, get ready, and you wait. But they talked the entire time. He engaged with her friends who were sitting in the row in front of her. He asked her great questions. She also asked him good questions. They had mutual friends.

I thought that it was a really good time. I was not a lot of fun. Yeah. So one of us had a good. great time. But I just looking at it as an outside perspective, I thought the date was really good. I do get the impression pretty early on that he was into her more than she was into him. I think that's pretty clear from, I mean, I haven't talked to Mercedes about this yet. Based on what the two of you were saying and talking to him, I think he is excited about a second date,

was excited about the night that was had. I don't know. I'll have to talk to her to see if he was reading any of that clearly or if she would even be interested in a second date. But Kathy, then you were at the concert with them. He explained that he at the concert just kind of loosened up. He was dancing. He was like talking to some people that he knew from my heart

and letting her talk to her friends. He mentioned that he wanted to give her as much attention as possible. do you from your perspective when I mean if I'm to put words in your mouth you think Kathy that this date did not end in like the best manner meaning that they would go on a second date when did that become clear to you was that during the concert for me yeah she when I finally tracked them down and got them in the same room that I was in she introduced me to him and we had a little bit of small talk again very polite very very nice guy. And then he stepped away to do something. And I said to her so and she kind of shook her head. No, nice guy, not my guy. But before I could get any deeper into it, he was back.

And so he, but in that time when she was not there, you know, he was telling me that they were both Christians. that was important. And he showed me on his neck. He apparently had a tattoo. I couldn't see it, but apparently a tattooed cross on his neck. And he said, you know, we're both Christians and she's beautiful.

I didn't get a sense of more that they had in common. I didn't get, you know, again, it was a loud venue. It's hard to have any sort of loud, real meaningful conversation. But she, to your point, Deanna,

she was lovely with him. She was not rude by any stretch, but I didn't see them with their arms on each other or looking. It was more like this guy that I am standing with here, but there really isn't anything. And then if I can just quickly jump ahead, when we got back to the hotel room, there was a pounding on my door and there were four girls there. and they came in and they were talking about, you know, it was Gabby and it was Katie and Jess and Mercedes.

And I was, they were sort of deciding what to do. And I guess he had not gone home. He said, no, let's continue to hang out. And they were talking about going to a bar and she didn't want to do it. She said, I don't know what to do. I don't want to be rude. And I said, well, you spend all evening with him. You know, these are your girlfriends.

I don't think you owe it to him to spend the rest of the evening. Well, you know, he's talking about just staying here. And so they were kind of having that conversation about what they were going to do. And Katie was saying, why don't we just stay here and get a bottle of wine and chat? And some of the other ones wanted to go to a bar. And Mercedes literally seemed high anxiety, how to end this evening. Now, that's a mother's perspective. I'm looking at her and she's saying there's no way.

Yeah. I think, one, how cool is it that they came knocking on your door? You had to love that, Kathy. I always love them. I feel like I was back in paradise. I was going to say. They're sweetest. I love them all.

They're so sweet. The funny one is, Deanna, you might not know this, but I asked Kathy to send me text during the concert. And so she decided that at a loud concert, instead of text, I'm going to do voice memos. And when I went back and read them, I was like, They made no sense to me. They made no sense.

I wasn't hammered. But it's how it read to me. I know. It was just gibberish and then like, I did send you a picture though. I did see a picture. Thank you for that. You're welcome. I know, I didn't see the text of the next day.

Well, I was trying to sort of be undercover. You know, I didn't want to be sitting there poking on my phone like. That's fair, Kathy. I was totally fair. Yeah, I'm glad Kathy had some cooth about her. I had no shame. I was like, get together, you guys, take your picture. It's all going to bed.

It's 5.23 p.m. One of your kids is asking for a snack. Another is building a fort out of your clean laundry, and you're staring at a half-empty fridge and thinking, what are we even going to eat tonight? Or you could just hello-fresh it. With over 80 recipes to choose from every week, including kid-friendly ones,

even for picky-eaters, you'll get fresh ingredients and easy step-by-step recipes delivered right to your door. No, last-minute grocery runs. No, what do we even have, fridge staring? And the best part? You're in total control. Skip a week, pause any time, pick what works for you. It's dinner on your terms.

The kids can even help you cook. Yeah, it's going to be messy. But somehow, they tend to eat the vegetables they made themselves. Try HelloFresh today and get 50% off the first box with free shipping. Go to Hellofresh.ca and use promo code mom 50. That's hellofresh.ca promo code mom 50. Hellofresh.com. Hellofresh. Canada's number one meal kit delivery service. I'm investigative journalist Melissa Joltson. My new podcast, What Happened in Nashville, tells the story of an IVF clinic's catastrophic collapse

and the patients who banded together in the chaos that followed. We have some breaking news to tell you about. Tennessee's attorney general is suing a Nashville doctor. In April 2024, a fertility clinic in Nashville shut down overnight and trapped behind locked doors were more than a thousand frozen embryos. I was terrified. Out of all of our journey, that was the worst moment ever. At that point, it didn't occur to me what fight was going to come to follow. But this story isn't just about a few families' futures. It's about whether the promise of modern fertility care can be trusted at all. It doesn't matter how much I fight. Doesn't matter how much I cry over all of this. It doesn't matter how much justice we get. None of it's going to get me pregnant.

Listen to what happened in Nashville on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever listened to those true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers? And what is this? How is that not a story we all know? What's this? Where is that? Why is it wet? Boy, do we have a show for you? From smartless media, campside media, and big money players comes crimeless. Join me, Josh Dean, investigative journalists. And me, Roy Scoville, comedian, as we celebrate the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals.

We'll look into some of the silliest ways folks have broken the laws. Honestly, it feels more like a high-level prank than a crime. Who catfishes a city? And meets some memorable anti-heroes. There are thousands of angry, horny monkeys. Clap if you think she's a witch, and it freaks you out. He has x-ray vision. How could I not follow him?

Honestly, I got to follow me. He can see right through me. Listen to Crimless on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Dad had the strong belief that the devil was attacking us. Two brothers, one devout household, two radically different paths. Gabe Ortiz became one of the highest-ranking law enforcement officers. in Texas. 32 years.

Total law enforcement experience. But his brother Larry, he stayed behind and built an entirely different legacy. He was the head of this gang and nobody was going to tell him what to do. You're going to push that line for the calls. Took us under his wing and showed us the game, as they call it. When Larry is murdered, Gabe is forced to confront the past he tried to leave behind and uncover secrets he never saw coming. My dad had a whole other life that we never knew about. Like, my mom started screaming my dad's name, and I just heard one gunshot.

The Brothers Ortiz is a gripping true story about faith, family, and how two lives can drift so far apart and collide in the most devastating way. Listen to the Brothers Ortiz on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians. Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leve, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name. And this season, I've sat down with Black Pumas, Alessia Kara, Sarah McLaughlin, and more. Check out my new episode with John Legend.

I feel like, in a lot of ways, our careers are paralleled in some ways, but they just never intersected for some reason. I know. Now, there's a lot to come out of this because, again, I haven't talked to Mercedes. Mercedes could surprise us all and be like, hey, after a night's rest, thinking about the date, I am open to a second date. I recognize that this maybe wasn't the best environment. But, Deanna, back to you, you were around for this first date. You've gone on your share of first dates.

What is the standard for saying yes to a second date? uh like especially a first date like this where it is chaotic uh there is a lot of people around like when would you say yes when would you say absolutely not i think we have to look at it just like we labeled it i would have probably taken a second date because given this situation you know what i mean but you we we cannot lie about that initial attraction and if it wasn't there for mercedes and i don't want to speak for her right but if it wasn't there for her right but if it wasn't there for her, then she knows it's not worth it to her to do a second date. Now, I think that Bryce, from what I gauge from him, is that he would absolutely do a second date. I was going to ask

you, Ben, because when I... Okay, so when I interviewed him, he full on planned that if the time was right, he was going to try to kiss her and he was going to get her phone number. Did he do that? He got her phone number. They did not kiss. Okay. Okay. I don't think that she was going to be kissing him. So wait, I've got to say two things. One is I read somewhere if you are not repulsed by the first date, if there's not, you know, A, B, and C that are against your set of values that you should always go on a second date to give the guy or the gal, whatever it is, a chance.

So, so yes, I think unless she was completely repulsed by him, given the circumstances of the state, I think it would be, I would encourage her to have a second date. I think that unless there's a huge red flag, I believe we get these gentle nudges from our own intuition about whether something is right or wrong. And sometimes you need a couple of those to feel something out. There's no way you truly get to know someone in that short period of time of a first date, let alone the chaos of what their first date was, recording a podcast. You've got friends there. You're obviously trying to look and be your best because you're at an event. So I would hope that she would take a second date, but I don't know. I don't know if she will.

And there's also the other piece of, like, he lives in L.A., she lives in Nashville. I don't know when they can see each other again. But, you know, I am hoping for her to take a second date. And I'm hoping it's something a little bit more traditional, just the two of them. Maybe they go and grab a drink or maybe they go to dinner or something a little bit more. When I asked him, Deanna, about that, when I said that at the top of the podcast about them dating long distance, he told me that he goes to Nashville. He's a music producer as a little music label. He said that he goes to Nashville a lot, that he, that's one of the reasons he wasn't worried about long-distance dating because he said he spends a lot of time in Nashville.

Listen, he did a lot of things right. He made that very clear even when we recorded in the room that if he saw something there, he would make a point to see Mercedes again. And he told us, like, that's his life. He's there all the time. So I think he was laying it up there. If she wants it, I believe he gave her, you know, the incentive. I think that he would do it. I do believe that right now we are going to be relying on what Mercedes wants because I believe that he has made it clear that he would keep in touch. He would see her again. He would like that. She had many qualities that he likes and that he looks for in someone. I will say there was a red flag for me. Again, I'm not dating, Bryce, so mind me nothing. But when we were talking and chatting, he shared with me that he took a break from dating for dating for a couple. of years because he was trying to get to know himself a little better. And he recognized that he

jumped into relationships too quickly in the past, that he went hard and they went fast. And then within a few months, he was like, I don't really like that person. To me, given everything that I have been through in my life, that's a red flag to me. That's called love bombing. That's called many, you know, they call it dating and dating slowly for a reason because you miss things in the beginning. due to infatuation and sexual attraction, you miss some of those really big things that you need in a lasting relationship. So for me, again, I'm not dating Bryce,

but I have trained myself enough that I made some mental notes when he was sharing those things that like, that's a red flag for me. Unless he's done the work. I mean, the other thing is he may have done the work in the last couple of years where he has learned to slow it down.

And who knows? I mean, you don't even know that over, she only know that over time, getting to know him. The only thing I want to say about it is we have to give Mercedes some slack here too, because these are her good friends. And they apparently did all go out after her and went to a bar. And so they're evaluating. Her friends are evaluating him in real time. She's not having the time to develop her relationship on her own. She's, you know, she's sort of reading what, you know, what her friends are saying about them, about him.

And I think that's tough too. I think that's hard. I think, yeah, I think this would have been a difficult place for him to come out of this unscathed because of that. Your friends are going to be critical. Now, they're also going to be very supportive, but they're protective. They're going to be critical, especially as the night wanes on and drinks are flowing and, you know, you're stuck in traffic.

Like, your friends are going to get critical. they're going to start to really try to protect you. I think it's a hard place to win over. I mean, goodness, I hope people listening, I give a ton of support behind Bryce and Mercedes. They said yes to this. It's not like we're coming out of this being like, goodness gracious, what a terrible guy.

Or wow, Mercedes, no wonder you're single. Like, they're both doing great. And that's the beauty of this experience is we get to hear why things work and why things don't and sometimes be surprised when they work, and then also be surprised when they don't work. I mean, he's a handsome man. He was kind. They were dressed similar, Ben. Like, they showed up, and their vibe was the same. She was wearing a black silk dress, and he was wearing a black silk blouse. That wasn't good for

them. Deeply unbuttoned. I was going to say, his blouse, his shirt was deeply unbuttoned, and she was buttoned up. So, yeah, there was that. I have to tell you, when there was, in our hotel room, the girls, before they all went out to the bar, after the date, they were just, I was laughing. I mean, again, you know, alcohol probably had been involved a little bit. They were saying, I mean, the guys got on a silk shirt. And then somebody said, no, it's polyester. I'm like, really, do we care? And it was unbuttoned. I mean, come on, buttoned up your shirt. And I just sat there laughing. I had to look back at the photos when, and I have to send them to you, Ben, so that you can see them because I took a video, too, of their initial meet.

But I don't remember his button being undone that far. Oh, they were in the suite for sure. Well, when we started the podcast, I don't remember seeing that much cleavage on him. I've got a hairy chest. That would be kind of cool look for me, though. It would be like 80s porn star. Like, it'd be awesome. I question everything about you, Ben, right now.

I'm going to say, Ben, that's just, that just doesn't even, I didn't want to imagine that. It does it for some. Yeah, it does it for some. this is a really fascinating time because obviously we got to speak to Bryce we got to speak to the two of you we're going to speak to Mercedes I think

the big like takeaway from this so far is that he did in a sense I'm hearing what you're saying Deanna I'm hearing what you're saying Kathy and I'm like the best thing to happen to Bryce if Bryce listens to this which I'm guessing he will is to do a long distance relationship

because it forces things to slow down It does. It forces the pace to get to a level from that euphoric. Oh my gosh, I can't imagine not spending an evening with you from like night one. Here's a red flag from me, though, to interrupt myself. In my life, there are some standards for first dates, right? Like, I don't need to be sleeping with a person on the first date. That's not necessarily a win for anybody, especially if I want to see them again. That's never been a good start. to a relationship for me. A kiss, acceptable, you know, but a kiss can be a kiss, and it's a nice like goodbye, cannot wait to see you again. I might even see you tomorrow night. If you're up for it, we'll go out the dinner.

However, my lesson that I've learned over the years is you just say goodbye a little earlier than you think you should because if the other person isn't feeling it or they're tired or they're nervous and now they're just like relieved that they did this first date thing, it gives them the space to say,

hey, that was awesome, leaving them wanting more. I do think a red flag was this kind of, I'm going to now go out with your friends to the bar until 2 a.m. Just in my life, that just feels like an easy, hey, I'll let you guys go, have fun. I'm going to go home. Yeah, I think you said it perfectly just then. Just then.

There was a part where he needed to be aware of his, surroundings and allow her the moment to just be with her friends and politely see himself out. I'm going to, I'm going to say I disagree with both of you. I think it is as much on Mercedes to say, hey, this has been a lovely date. You know, it's been great seeing you. We can talk again, but I'm here with my friends and I haven't seen them. And let's talk again tomorrow or a week from tomorrow or never again, but I'm going to place the onus just as much on her to end the date as him. And she couldn't when she was in my hotel room. She said, I don't know what to say. Fair. Kathy, I don't disagree with you, but we've all been married here, right? Like, don't make it

the other person's problem. What I'm saying is be aware enough to not put it on the other person to have to be the one to say something, even if it felt like, hey, early and gone. on, it's actually a really good, I think, play. It could have benefited him well to do that. Less is more sometimes. Leave room for her wanting more. As much as we hate to say that there are games in dating, there are. We all want to be desired.

We want there to be some attraction. You want them to leave wanting more. Because we don't know. We don't know. Maybe the other guys, you know, Zach, all the, No, I doubt it, Kathy. I won't assume what they were thinking. I highly doubt back in those.

I was going to say maybe they said, hey, come on. We're going to go to the bar. Come with it. I mean, I don't know. I doubt it. I'm going to go with. I doubt it. For the women out there listening, I will say there would be something very attractive

to me on a first date, even second date, even today in my marriage, if we all go out to dinner and we're hanging out and the guys are saying, hey, let's go to the sports bar. and I'm like, I'd love to go. And my wife or my girlfriend at the time, be like, you guys go have fun. Ben, I can't wait to see when you get home. Or Ben, I hope that we have a date tomorrow night or the next night whenever you're available.

Like, there is something attractive about just being aware enough to say, hey, I know you like me. I know you love being around me. But that doesn't mean that I have to be around all the time. Hey, we got to close up here. I'll give you each 30 seconds. Final thought. on witnessing and being the spies for the first date.

Kathy, we'll start with you. I think I missed my calling. I think the CIA would have been a good place for me. I just have to find them. I know I thought it was great to sort of watch from a distance, not being a participant, watching what was going on. And I guess my wish is for anyone who's out there dating, give it a chance, be calm.

You know, you don't have to conquer the world. on the first date. So I hope that Mercedes will give it a second shot because I think that sometimes you don't know, sometimes it takes a little bit of time to warm up. And it was not the most easy dating, you know, to date someone at a concert is not the easiest first date. Yeah, I'm with you, Kathy. I would 100% agree with what you say. I hope Mercedes will give it a second date. I really do. and I hope the two of them can just go to dinner next time he's in Nashville for work, or at least a phone call, a FaceTime, or something to be able to speak because I, from an outsider, believe that it was a great first date.

I think that they were both engaged, they treated each other well, they got to know each other, they found things in common, and we don't always have to lead with that initial physical chemistry. sometimes that needs to grow and you need to find other things in common. So I'm with you, Kathy. I do hope that they go on a second date. I hope that they can figure that out from there. That would be my hope.

I think it was a great first date, Benjamin. Good job. Hey, crushing it over here. I will say this also. I mean it when I say this. Bryce and Mercedes, I think it took courage. I think you're both great. If you're not meant for each other, you're going to be catches to people.

This is just the fun part of breaking down an individual relationship at an individual time in a very uncomfortable scenario. But I do think, and my hope is they both came out of it being like, I'm glad I did it. It was worth the effort. It was worth the time, worth the evening. And we think you're both great. Hey, this is famously available breaking down with my spies for this date. Deanna and Kathy, they are good at this.

In fact, I do think they might have a job at this. this would be a really fun career path for the two of them. Anyways, we're going to be talking to Mercedes. We talk to Bryce. We're going to be talking to a lot of people about this date, figuring out the dos, the don'ts, the ones, the needs, the red flags, the green flags, and everything good and bad that happens in dating.

So until next time, I've been Ben. We'll talk to you soon. Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is Bad. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little different, but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians. Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leve, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name.

And this season, I've sat down with Black Pumas, Alessia Kara, Sarah McLaughlin, and more. Check out my new episode with John Legend. I feel like in a lot of ways our careers are paralleled in some ways, but they just never intersected for some reason. I know. We should take it slow with just ordinary people. We don't know which way to go. Listen to Nora Jones is playing along on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm investigative journalist Melissa Jeltson. My new podcast, What Happened in Nashville, tells the story of an IVF clinic's catastrophic collapse and the patients who banded together in the chaos that followed. It doesn't matter how much I fight. It doesn't matter how much I cry over all of this. It doesn't matter how much justice we get. None of it's going to get me pregnant.

Listen to what happened in Nashville on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody, it's Chuck and Josh from the Stuff You Should Know podcast, and it's that time of year again when we knuckle down to do our annual holiday episodes. We collected our best past classic holiday episodes and compiled them into a 12 Days of Christmas Toys playlist that the whole family can enjoy. That's right. Maybe you missed it the first time we detailed the history of Beanie Babies, Monopoly, or Yo-Yo's, and a whole lot more. So listen to the 12 Days of Christmas Toys playlist on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Who would you call if the unthinkable happened? My sister was shot 22 times.

A police officer, right? But what do you do when the monster is the man in blue? This dude is the devil. He hurt you. This is the story of a detective who thought he was above the law until we came together to take him down. I said, you're going to see my face till the day that you die.

Listen to the girlfriend's Untouchable, on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I got you. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Yo, yo, yo, yo. Can we get a Thanksgiving first? I'm hungry. What's up, y'all?

It's Kadeen. And DeVal, the host of the Ellis Ever After podcast. This holiday season. Tune out the noise and tune in to Ellis Ever After. On Ellis Ever After, we get real with our crew about family, love and marriage. And everything else in between. to Ellis Ever After on America's number one podcast network, IHeart. Follow Ellis Ever After and start listening on the free IHeart Radio app today.

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