The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Beyond the Bachelor: Jess Higgins

Episode Date: April 26, 2024

Susie Evans is back to go BEYOND our Bachelor Nation superstars and get the real story from their close friends and family! Jess Higgins is ready to share all the secrets behind her marriage to our own Ben Higgins! Jess reveals how it felt to find out Ben was “the” Bachelor, what it’s like getting to know other members of Bachelor Nation, and Jess has some  advice for anyone who might be dating a Bachelor alum!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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So please welcome Jess. Hey, hi. How's it going? Hey, how are you? I'm good. I'm so happy that you're doing this and we're doing this. No, I was so happy when they texted me because I'm like, oh my gosh, wait. First of all, I love Susie and I'm so pumped you started a podcast.

And yeah, thanks for thinking of it. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I feel like you're exactly who comes to mind when you think beyond The Bachelor, you know? Oh, but of course. So I feel like, I'm sure you've talked about it a thousand times, but let the people know, how did Ben slide into the DMs? I feel like everyone knows that he's the one that reached out to you. What did that look like?

What did he say? And how did you feel when you saw the message? Yeah. So he was staying in Nashville at a hotel and there was a hockey game across the street. And he wanted to know who was playing in the hockey game. And so he searched Bridgestone Arena on his Instagram. And I had just tagged my location there. So I popped up on his explore page.

and he like screenshoted my photo. It's a photo with my dad. So I always joke with him because I'm like, did you like me or my dad? Because he was in the photo. But he screenshotsated it and then saw it a couple months later and decided to shoot his shot. He was starting to date again after the bachelor. And so he messaged me and I was home with my family for Thanksgiving and someone with like a million followers

And it was back before you could buy a blue check mark. So I'm like, who is this person with the blue check mark that's messaging me? I was just working in Nashville. And my mom had watched his season. And she was like, you have to find out how you found your photo. That's so random. So I replied. And we've talked every day since.

Oh, my gosh. I love that. So you kind of knew from the time that you dated or went on your first date that Ben was going to be your person. Did you have that? Did you have that, like, when you know, you know moment? I think we had it as, so we, like, FaceTimed every day for three weeks before we ever met in person. Are you serious? Yes, for like hours, because he lives in Denver.

He was living in Denver and I was in Nashville. So it was like, or is one of us going to fly to the other one? What are we going to do to ever see each other in person? But we have to make sure it's worth it first, especially because, like, he is more of a public figure. And so I think it felt like the risks were higher if like it didn't work out and I went all the way out there. So we FaceTime for like hours a day and just really got to know each other and each other's hearts. And I'd never met anybody like him before that I just felt like we were so similar in our beliefs and what we wanted out of life. And we could talk about anything.

Like I felt like nothing was off limits with him and I could joke around with him and just be myself. so then both of us had a little bit to drink one night at the same time and he bought me a plane ticket and I flew out the next day and it was like so fast oh my gosh I feel like that's every fan girl's dream and I don't know if you watched The Bachelor before or if you knew who Ben was but I feel like if you've ever been a huge fan of like a band or a show or like a movie something along those lines your dream is that you're going to like stumble upon meeting this like famous rock star whoever and they're going to fly you out and you're going to fall in love and get married and have a beautiful life and you're literally living the dream no it really is crazy like I this is

not what I ever I never thought I would date or marry someone that was like in the public in any sort of way um but it's worked out and he he you've met bit he he's just like the best person. So he makes it easy. That's so sweet. What was your first experience or exposure to kind of like the limelight? So obviously you went out to Denver. Did people take pictures with you guys? Did you guys get spotted or did you try to keep it on the DL? And what was that like when you first did get spotted together? So I feel like we've never, I've never really talked about this. But when I flew out to Denver, the next day he had like an appearance with a company. So he was, he had, we had to go to like this thing and he was doing a meet and greet.

And I'm like, what this is like, do I, is this weird? I don't know. And so I went to this meet and greet with him and I was fine. I just sat there and they were giving me free food and I just watched it happen. I'm like, this is so bizarre. Like who is this person? What's happening? But I, we weren't really like spotted or anything because I was just chilling.

and watching him do his thing. And I think I like went shopping because it was at a mall. But then we dated for a couple months. And we went to some dinners and there were like all of these rumors that we were dating. And I started to get like some Instagram followers that were like this, you have to be dating Ben and like all these messages and stuff. And I still remember the day that someone must have posted in a blog. This is so funny to talk about. I feel like it was so long ago.

But I remember I looked at my phone and I was at work and I had gotten like 12,000 views or something on my Instagram story. And I had like a couple thousand followers just from college. And I was like, what is happening? And it was I was selling lights at the time. And it was a story of me with like this huge light bulb. And I was like, this is so embarrassing. And I remember that day really well.

But that was probably the first time that I was like, oh, he must be more important than I thought. Yeah. Because I wasn't as familiar with like the Bachelor world. So that was the first time. And then I don't even know the first time I met all the Bachelor people. It might have been Ashley and Jared's wedding. Oh my gosh.

And that would have been, was that? When was that? Was that before 2020? Yes. Right. 2019. 2019. Like the summer.

And is that when sort of your Bachelor Nation's, friendship started because I know obviously you're super close with a lot of people like Kalyn and you are obviously super close and who else are kind of like your friends amongst the Bachelor Nation group. Yeah. Kalin is probably my best friend from Bachelor Nation especially because now they live in Colorado. I'm going to see her on Saturday. Becca Tilly has always been like such a great friend to me. She is amazing. And then we see Dean a lot. We've always seen Dean a lot. Wells. Wells has always been a really good friend. He and I went to the same college too. Yeah, Ben has a lot of really good friends from The Bachelor and I'm really lucky that

everyone has been so kind and like embraced me so well. Well, you're easy to embrace. Obviously when I met you, I was, I mean, I feel like I knew of you through the grapevine and stuff and your reputation is wonderful. Everyone says you're like the most kind, sweet person and have the best skin, which is true. I still have a book an appointment with you. And I feel like anyone listening to this, if you have skin or beauty questions, I feel like you need to head over to Jess's Instagram because I feel like you've got all the answers. Even in person, you're just glowing. But it's so fun to see how you're kind of just like that honorary bachelor nation. You kind of just fit right in. You're not even like an honor. You're just a part of it now.

Thank you. That actually means a lot because it definitely is like, intimidating. I don't know if you felt that way after getting off the show and then you're kind of thrust into things. But it's a lot of people. Everyone is like very good looking and you don't know if they're going to be nice or not. And most people are. And it's just, it's a crazy world. But I mean, same with you. Everyone was like, you're going to love Susie. And I was like, okay, well, I can't meet to meet her. And we had such a blast. But so much fun. I'm curious your thoughts on dating shows? Do you think that they are a legitimate way to find love? That's a good question. What's so funny is I talk to my clients about this a lot because most

of my clients in my skincare clinic are women and a lot of them are like, should I go on The Bachelor? And I'm like, man, I don't know. It just depends on what you want because it works for some people. Like you really do see it happen, even like Kailen and Dean. But then it doesn't work for a lot of people. but it's almost like a dating app. Like you're going to go on a lot of dates before you find your person. And I never thought I would find my husband on Instagram. So if you're going to find him on a TV show, like go for it. But I think you have to go into it like expecting the worst maybe and being pleasantly surprised.

But it's almost like a moment of like what do I have to lose. I know that was where Ben was at when he went on the show was like, I've got nothing else going on. Like why not? And if it works, it works, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. So I think like holding it all loosely. So true. And have you watched Ben's season? No.

Ever? No. So I, my mom reminded me, like, after Ben and I had been dating for several months, she's like, you know, you've seen an episode of his bachelor season. Like, I was home, and it was on because my family would watch it. And I was home from college, and it was on. and I saw him and she said that she remembers because I looked at the TV screen

and I was like, he's really cute. That's the kind of guy I would date. And that was all I ever said about it. And I don't even remember. Oh my gosh. Isn't that crazy? I like low-key manifested, but. I kind of got chills.

I'm not going to wow. I don't know if it's cold in my hotel room or it just gave me chills. But that's actually kind of crazy. Yeah, but I never went back and watched his season after we started dating like the whole thing because it's one. one thing to know that the person you're with has had an ex or exes or done whatever.

It's another thing to watch it. And I just, I don't think it would be healthy. Honestly, I can attest to that because when I was coming off the show, I was with the guy that was The Bachelor. And I felt like I had to watch it back because it was also what was airing of myself. So I was like,

I can't be unaware of what's being shown and the narrative of like what we're seeing as the public versus what my reality was. But it was really hard to like watch back the person you're in a relationship with like fall in love or date or have expressed feelings to other people. So I totally get that. And I'm always curious people that have been the bachelor or a bachelorette and then they're in new relationships. I'm always like, do people go back and watch like their partners? Do they go back? I can't imagine.

Like I saw a clip one time of him talking to one of like the last girls on his season. and he was, like, looking at her the way he was looking at me. And I was like, I cannot do this. Like, that is crazy. That is crazy. My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed. From a very rural background myself, my dad is a farmer.

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or different relationships outside, it's like, you might think you love somebody or you might feel certain things in the moment, but like, I feel like time and like having a real life relationship is how those things really build. And then you have those moments where like, oh, I totally thought that was love, but it really wasn't. And it's just crazy that works out. That's so interesting. I feel like I haven't heard a lot of it from the women's perspective either because I talked a been about it but yeah it's really interesting i i also think like because ben ben was the bachelor two years before i met him maybe longer than that and now we've been together for five so it feels like less and less kind of significant to our relationship like right when we started dating

i was like very insecure about it very worried about being compared to his ex like all of those things were like all consuming but then the farther you get away the more you're like like oh no you like it's it's just us too um but it took a while to get there and also i think i don't know if you've if you have this experience but i feel like it's one thing to like you said to have a boyfriend or a fiancee husband and then they have an ex but it's another thing to probably constantly get asked about it like i'm doing in this interview asking you questions about the past where people just keep revisiting this narrative because that's what people saw on TV. And I feel like people probably have no clue how hard it is to navigate, like, post-TV

show relationships, whether you were on it or if you're dating somebody that was on it. What would be, like, your best advice for somebody that is dating a former bachelor or bachelorette? Yeah, I love that. Such a niche group. But we got to stay together. Honestly, I would say, like, I mean, first of all, I love that. I love that. I love that. I love it. I love it. I that I didn't watch it because I think that that would have really messed with my head in a different way. And then, like, remember that they're with you for a reason. Like, it didn't work out with the other people for a reason. And not because those people are bad people by any means. Most of the people I've met from Ben's season are some of my favorite girls of all time.

But it's just, like, there's a reason why it worked with me and not them. And same with the people that they're with now. You know what I mean? So I think just, like, like staying really confident and true to who you are and focusing on your own relationship, which when I started dating Ben, I had a mentor and she told me like, wake up in the morning and remind yourself, like, what is true today and go through the truths of today? So like, today, Ben is your boyfriend. You live in Nashville. You work for this company. And like going through like those truths helps a lot too. That's so powerful. I feel like that's powerful beyond dating. That's so important whether it's like anxiety or you know work troubles because I feel like so many people

get caught up on like thinking and I know even as you're saying I'm like oh I should do that for myself because there's so many things happening and if you can just like bring yourself back to reality and kind of like touch grass then so many things evaporate from that realm of like the emotional side that causes anxiety or stress and like all the negativity totally and I'm like a future tripper so I still do. do that. To this day, I'll wake up and be like, I don't need to worry about that because today I'm waking up. I'm going to work. I'm walking my dog. Like, that's my truth for today. And like you said, it's very like grounding. Yes, that's so true. Okay, well, besides the bachelor stuff, I know you

obviously get to travel with Ben occasionally to some of these events. Do you enjoy the travel or do you like being home in Colorado or do you prefer kind of a balance? I'm more of a balance person. I love my routine. I love my home. I do really well when I can like find time to rest. I'm learning to rest more. And traveling can sometimes just make me a little bit anxious, especially if it's like a go, go, go lifestyle. Ben's had the go go lifestyle for like seven years. And he also works virtually and I work in person. And so I think that stresses me out a little bit too. We talk all the time if it would be different if my whole practice was virtual instead of in person. I might not feel so anxious.

But I also, I've never experienced FOMO in my life. But I think I get to the point where I'm like, we'll never get to have this opportunity again. Like I want to do it. Like the Carmel trip where I met you, I'm like, when else can I go to Carmel by the sea? Are you kidding? So I definitely try and weigh it in those like terms of,

will I ever be able to do this again? And if the answer is maybe not, then I'll do it. But I always prefer to stay home. Such a good way to look at it. it. And there are so many cool things that you get to do when you're kind of like in this world. What has been your favorite trip or experience that you guys have done together, whether it was like brand or work related or just something that you guys have done together? Right when we started dating, we were, we'd been dating for like eight months and he did a

golf tournament in Switzerland, which now I'm looking back and I'm like, that was really unlike him. He would, I don't feel like he would ever do that again. And I don't. don't know if it was like a flex i have no idea but he took me to switzerland and that was like so cool i remember thinking like this guy like who is he and this trip was amazing and so that stands out for sure um and then i'm trying to think we've done like so many cool things i really enjoyed the carmel trip and pebble beach i thought that was really fun um yeah just like all these places i never would normally go anything that we've done with iHeart i mean all of it like i don't regret going on any single trip with him um but the switzerland thing i'm like that was really wild of you to do

but it was really fun honestly the switzerland was definitely a flex like that's pretty wild i feel like a guy flying you to switzerland like that's just next level living in a dream If you're like dating a guy, he flies you to Switzerland for a golf tournament. That is wild. And that's so not been. That's what's weird. It's like, that's not him at all. He would never do that to like impress anybody.

And I think he probably wanted to play in the golf tournament in Switzerland. And then it was like, well, I guess I'll bring my new girlfriend. Like, I don't know. But yeah, we've never done anything like that since. And we've never really like talked about doing anything like that since. But that was really cool. That's awesome. Okay. And then I want to talk a little bit about your clinic in Colorado. Like, what do you specialize in? I feel like when I saw you last, I was asking you all the skin questions. But what do you specialize in? What do you see people for most? And like, what tips and tricks can you give people today for their skin and to look beautiful and feel beautiful?

I know. Last time we were together, I was like, no, well, face time and go over your skin. And then we just never did. So we still need to do that, first of all, because it's my absolute. favorite thing. But yeah, I have a clinic in Denver. I'm an acne specialist. So I usually start seeing people when they're experiencing acne and then we'll get them to a point where that's not really a main concern anymore. And I'll do things like micronealing. I have an oxygen facial machine. So technically I'm a medical ecstitian as well, which is really fun. But I think the biggest tip that I can give people really is to find like what's personalized to them because we're all so uniquely made and you, I mean, I get overwhelmed seeing like other people's skincare routine. So I can only imagine not having the knowledge that I do have in seeing that. I think

I would get so sucked into it. But our skin is so different just like our bodies are so different and like whatever you prefer is different. So I think finding like paying attention to your own skin, even meeting with a professional and seeing what they would recommend based on your concerns can be super, super beneficial because otherwise you're just going to keep on trying things that don't work for you. Right. And there's so much money in that industry. And I feel like I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this when you see people on Instagram or whatever. And I post about things and I try new things. But I think it can be really intimidating because you're seeing people that probably have a filter on, may or may not have a filter on. And there's claiming certain products do certain

things. So I think that's such good advice to like go seek professional, like somebody professionally and just find out what works for you. That's like, I feel like everyone can can take that to heart. Yeah. And I always have people that are like, you're going to be so mad that I love this product. And I'm like, I'm not mad if you love a product. If it works for you, it works for you. Like if you absolutely swear by a serum from the ordinary, like that's amazing. You should keep using it because it works for your skin. I'll tell you what I think could be better. But that you know, use, use what works for you. It doesn't really matter. That's awesome. Well, I think that's all of our questions. I mean, thank you so much for joining me and going through and letting us like

pry into your life and get all the juicy tea. You're the absolute. Oh my gosh, you literally weren't prying at all. You have such great questions. So it's really fun to talk about because it has been a while since I was like the new kid on the block with the Bachelor stuff. So it's kind of fun to think about again. That's good. I'm glad because I'm like sometimes I don't want to ask too many of the same things over and over again. But I'm glad that you enjoyed it. And thank you for joining us.

I know you have to run. Thank you for doing this on your lunch break. Oh my gosh. Anytime. Always always down to chat. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you.

Bye. Bye. Thank you so much to Jess for joining us. It was great to hear the behind-the-scenes on how she met Ben and a little bit more about her life in Colorado. Thank you guys for listening Beyond the Bachelor. We'll see you next time. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor.

And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love, crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD oh my god perfect and want to hear people with mental illness psychobabble yes yes then emergency intercoms the podcast for you open your free iHeart radio app search emergency intercom and listen now let's start with a quick puzzle the answer is ken jennings appearance on the puzzler with a j Jacobs the question is What is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land?

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