The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Chock Full of Love

Episode Date: February 22, 2025

Need a man's perspective on love, dating, and intimacy? "Golden Bachelorette" winner Chock Chapple is up for the task! Chock is taking your calls and giving the advice you need to know when it comes to dating a divorced man. He's answering your tough questions - do men get nervous when it comes to intimacy in their second act? How should you handle a partner with an overbearing ex? Everything you want to know! Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime Podcasts and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see?

It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land?

Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right. To give you the answers, and you still. Blueid. The Puzzler. Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Get fired up, y'all. Season two of Good Game with Sarah Spain is underway. We just welcomed one of my favorite people, an incomparable soccer icon, Megan Rapino, to the show, and we had a blast. Take a listen. Sue and I were like riding the lime bikes the other day,

and we're like, whee! People ride bikes because it's fun. We got more incredible guests like Megan in store, plus news of the day and more. So make sure you listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. Tune in to All the Smoke Podcast, where Matt and Stacks sit down with former first lady, Michelle Obama. Folks find it hard to hate up close. And when you get to know people and you're sitting in their kitchen tables and they're talking like, we're talking, you know, you hear our story, how we grew up, how Barack grew up. And you get a chance

for people to unpack and get beyond race. All the Smoke featuring Michelle Obama. To hear this podcast and more, open your free iHeartRadio app. Search all the smoke and listen now. on this podcast, we're going to talk about looking for love the second time around. I'm Chalk Chapel. Some of you may know me from the Golden Bachelorette, where I met my beautiful fiance, Joan. We've had a great time together. I've got to tell you guys all about that. Before I met Joan, I was just like you, the listeners, looking for my due part two.

And I know it's not always easy to open up yourself to love. And again, when a marriage doesn't work out, there's a lot of challenges and a lot of questions. Today I'm excited to answer some of the questions that you, the listeners, have because I'm going to tell you this. I think I'm pretty good at it. I've had a lot of counseling and a lot of years underneath my belt in the love world. So let's get started. Okay, let's go to my first caller, Amy. Hi, my name is Amy, and I have a question.

I have been divorced for about 15 years and just have turned 50, and it feels like the online dating sites don't really work for me. me anymore. Just wanted to see if you had some advice on places outside of the dating apps to meet people that are over 50. Thank you. Well, Amy, I'm glad you asked that question because it comes up all the time. And the guys on the show, they talked about dating apps. It worked for a couple of them. A lot of them didn't like it or it just didn't fit. But when people ask me that question, what I do is I go, let's think about how many people you know and what you really want in life. Some people are just looking for that number one soulmate, you know, that's going to replace somebody that they

were maybe married to or that they lost to disease or an accident. But what I do is I say, let's look at the people that you know, because references in the world, it's, you know, it's always what we say is it's people, people, people, and if you can tell your friends that you're open to dating, and I'm very adamant about this, don't do this too quick. If you don't really want to date, let's, you know, don't muddy the waters. But if you're ready to start dating, the first thing I'd recommend is to tell your friends, say, hey, I'm looking. And a lot of people go, I live in a small town, I live in a city, my friends don't have anybody, you'd be amazed. And then once you ask them that favor to say, hey, if you know someone or if you're considering some or one of your friends might have it, they'll open up.

So apps, my personal opinion, were 15 to 20% of the time, the rest of it's just getting out. But if I were to do one thing, that would be to ask people for referrals. And when I say referrals, I'm a business guy. But hey, do you know anybody that I might find interesting? They might find me interesting. Somebody I could have breakfast with, a cup of coffee, a lunch, just get to know people. I have a very good lady friend of mine. I've known my whole life, and her name's Jennifer.

She was living in Austin, and she went on a match date. And the gentleman she was having the dinner with just said, Jen, you know, we're, I don't think we're the right people, but I have a friend of mine that I'd like for you to meet. She's been married to him, Dave, for probably 10 years. They have a great relationship. They've moved back to my hometown of Wichita, Kansas. They've got a great life together, so it can happen. That was just kind of an interesting thing on a dating app that's worked. A couple of guys on the show, as I mentioned earlier, they're on the dating apps, and they like it, but I think they're still kind of playing a numbers game. They're not looking for that one soulmate.

they're just looking to meet people and to see what happens. So, you know, my advice to you is just get out there, open your heart, and ask people that you know. And then we'll go with some other questions and some other detailed things I think you could do to find love. Okay, now we're going to go to Melissa, and she's got a great question for me. Hi, my name is Melissa, and I would like to know how to approach a new relationship. when you're not quite recovered from your last one. Inevitably, we compare people to someone we used to love, and that doesn't always work out, and it's not fair to them.

So how do I get out of that headspace of comparing a potential suitor to my ex? Thank you. Melissa, again, another great question. What I feel about this, because I would married for 12 years, two kids, and then I had a long-term relationship with somebody for nine years. It's tough, and it's a challenge to get them out of your mind, but Joan and I've talked about this. We don't want those other loved ones out of our mind. You just look at it as a chapter of your life and go, I had this person for this amount of time, whatever happened, happened,

but then learn from it. Joan and I had a conversation today, and we were talking about gifts and those type of things. And I love how, what I asked her is I said, what are the important gift dates for you? And she goes, my birthday, Christmas, and then Valentine. She goes, I've always loved something for Valentine. So she goes, John, that was her husband. You know, that's what we did.

And Melissa, I personally feel that if you have a jealous partner, there's a bigger issue. A little bit of jealousy is probably a healthy thing, but someone that just dwells on it and really gets frustrated when you talk about an act, talk about a past. I think they might be controlling. That's just my opinion.

So I'd be very cognizant of that. But again, talk about your past. Open up because Joan and I've done that. And that's one of the things that really attracted the two of us to each other is, you know, it wasn't picked up on the show. But at Disneyland, we talked about our exes. And when we had dinner, I went into a little bit more detail. But during the day, Joan had talked about it because I was curious.

and I wanted to know her history. And I know, and I'm okay with myself going, if John was still alive, I probably wouldn't be in the picture. Joan said I was married for 32 years. It was just a terrible circumstance that happened. He passed of cancer. So, you know, just go slow and talk about your ex. I really think that's a compliment to them.

You owe that. But then with your new relationship, they need to know how you feel. and you have to be open to move forward. And I've said this time and time again, it takes a little bit of time. Some people, my father, has not had a lot of time between his relationships. He's been married 35 years now,

but before that, it was, you know, they call him a trapeze artist and where they kind of jump from one to another, and his last wife, they've just had a great relationship, so it's work. But just be comfortable. And here's the other thing, too,

is it's communication and honesty. And if you're honest, you're going to win in the long run. So again, thanks, Melissa, a great question. Okay, now we're moving on to Jessica, who has another great relationship question. All right, Jessica. Hi, Chalk.

This is Jessica calling. I had a question for you that I would love your advice on. I am in a relationship with a divorced man. He was married to his ex-wife for 15 years, and we have a great relationship. We've been together for about, like almost six months now, we're great, but there is one thing that I kind of struggle with

within our relationship. His ex-wife is a little bit overbearing, and he's always on the phone with her or has to leave the room to call with her and text her a lot, and sometimes he becomes, like, a bit emotional when talking about her, whether it's angry or upset about thinking something about the past and they don't have any kids together. So I understand if they were to be talking often because they need to talk about the kids, but they don't have kids. So I don't really understand why they communicate so much and they have been divorced for two years now. And I ask him a lot if, you know, he still has feelings for her and he says no, he just cares about her and he claims he let me know in the beginning of when

we started dating that she'll just always be in his life but it's challenging for me so i'm just trying to think of a way to communicate to him that it really bothers me and it really comes off like he still has feelings for her so i would love your advice on this um i think it would really help me thank you so much bye jessica this is a tough one and what you're going to get for me is just my opinion but i have been through a lot of counseling in my life especially when kathy was passing and with my wife, my only wife, is we try to keep our marriage together, this doesn't sound healthy from your standpoint. And just to be direct with you, if he's still having that much communication with her, there's a red flag. It's one thing, as you'd mention, if you have kids,

because you just have to deal with the kids. And I really appreciate and foster when divorced parents communicate about their kids because it's a great way to raise them and let them know that they love each other, but he has to let go of that. A previous caller was talking about, you know, just the communications about with the dating couple about your prior exes, you have to do this, but I personally would not be involved with somebody that was talking to their ex every day for multiple times. It was getting emotional and walking into the next room and having private conversations. There might be some codependency there, and again, I'm not a licensed therapist, but that's

kind of what it sounds like to me. And for both of them to heal and move on, I think if you really say he's a great guy, he's probably a great guy, but I would say you're going to have to concentrate on me and this is too much. And that's just my personal opinion. But I think for you to be healthy, you need to take a stance there. Because I would not want to date somebody the rest of my life, have them always talking with their ex and moving away. And I'm a person that says, I mentioned a couple other questions that I have. I have lady friends. I absolutely believe that you can have friendships with the opposite sex and it doesn't have to be sexual. Joan has a very good friend, Dr. Ron, who's a great guy.

I've met him a couple of times. He's open to me. He's just a great guy. And I'm not jealous. I think they've got a great relationship. She's decorated as doctor's office. I mean, so that can happen. But if she was talking about Ron the whole time, I would know is that person in the

relationship, there's a problem. There's a red flag. So I wish you luck. And there's a reason why you called. But I would, frankly, as I say, lay the law down and say, you know, this is just too much and take it from there. But tough one, and I wish you luck. Thank you for the call.

Okay, we've got another call from Cassie. She's divorced and she's got a great question. So, Cassie? Hi, my name's Cassie, and I'm a divorce day living in sunny Florida. And I'm just trying to get back out there, but I'm really like an in-person kind of gal. And so I hate using the dating apps. And yeah, I just don't know how I should go about meeting guys at this stage in my life in person. Please, any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated. Well, Cassie, this is another question that we've got on the dating apps. And I just

smiled because after I got divorced, I was on the dating apps for a couple of years. And I've got some great stories. I mean, absolutely bizarre. That's some good people, but there are some interesting people out there. But the stats today say there's like 40% of couples that beat through dating apps. And then my kids, they're on them all the time. Both of them were single. My son's actually started dating someone that he did meet on an app. They do work, but for the generations, I don't know how old you are. And I went on to Forbes to do some research on this. and there's like eight dating apps, and there's one like, you know, my age, you know, matches the one that's been around.

E-Harmony still ranks up as number one. So I wouldn't throw them away. I'd just be selective in doing that. But your main question is, is how do I meet people? And I've said this before, and I read a Dale Carnegie book, and it was just about opening up to people and saying hi. And then there was another book about a person says, get on the elevator and face the wrong way. I did that with Joan the other day, and she was nervous.

but it made me talk to people. I looked them in the eye. And I'm not really that outgoing. Joan is. I'm kind of an introvert, but I force myself to meet people because I like to meet people. And then the other thing is when you meet people, it's not about you, it's about them.

If you'll just ask some simple questions, people will open up to you. And there's going to be some people that shun you and walk away. But, you know, for meeting people, it could be at the grocery store. It could be at a gym. It could be at a church. It could be through friends.

I love meeting people through friends. And if you go to a party in my business world, the gentleman that I used to work for, if we went to a big conference, we couldn't sit at the same table with people that we knew. He goes, I want you to go meet new people. So forcing yourself to do that, but just that actual little high, how are you doing? We'll get conversation started. My best friend met somebody in New York City at the TSA line, and it was curving around. He just said, hey, how are you doing?

And they ended up in a relationship. So open yourself, but be open. And again, some of us that are on the introverted side, it's tough to do, but don't be afraid. What's the worst thing that's going to happen? Usually they'll kind of walk away or, you know, I'm not interested or something like that. But I think it's good training to do that because if you do wait, and I've had people ask this question too, why do I end up with the wrong guy? Probably because they're coming to you.

What about you just, and it's not aggressively, but just passively, just saying hi to people and see where it goes. And again, I'm the biggest fan of asking your friends, friends and family, going, hey, I'm ready to date again. Do you know of anybody? So if you don't like the apps, that's the best place to start. But they got another friend of mine that met someone at the gas station who was pumping gas just across from them and just started talking to it. You have to say something, and not everybody's going to say something when I say you have to, but not everybody's going to approach another person, but be warm, a little bit of eye contact, and just be confident. And this is one thing. I'm a guy that I see about ladies.

Had lunch today with a business client of mine. And I saw a lady walk into the restaurant who wasn't a tent, attracted person but wasn't a tent, but her confidence. And it just kind of, I noticed that. So have the confidence. And then I've had people go, well, I'm a bigger girl. I'm this. I'm that.

Confidence is who you are. And if you'll train yourself to say, I'm this person, I'm a good person. It's going to open up a lot of avenues to you. So I get the dating, the app dating, because I did it. It was a crazy ride. I could tell, I could go for five hours on the stories that I had. But I met some great people, but I didn't meet anybody that I ended up with through a dating app. Other than Kathy, that was my significant other that passed, we met through Facebook, and she approached me.

And it was interesting. She just sent me a, I don't know, it's a DM on Instagram. I don't know what it was on Facebook, but she just said, hey, I know your dad. I know you know my father. I'd like to meet you. So open up, smile at people. people talk to them and just have a good time but again great question and I wish you the best okay we've got another great question for Monica who was recently

out at a bar and when any question starts with hey I was at a bar I love to answer these so Monica bring it on hi my name Monica I have a question and I got this reaction when I was out at a bar that a look that was like oh she's divorced are men really intimidated by divorced women let me know all right Monica and I had a Monica that worked for me for number of years, so that name makes me smile. Are men intimidated if a woman's divorced? I would say once you get past 30 to 40 years old, absolutely not. The divorce rate is over 50% in the United States. It just happens. And a lot of times, people get married when they're too young. And this is

just me preaching, going, they really didn't know what they wanted, what they were doing. They might have been attracted to a type. Somebody likes the jock at high school. It just wasn't the perfect spouse for him or someone got into somebody, you know, a professional that was going through multiple years of college that added that kind of stress. So no, men, mature men are not, and especially those with confident, are not intimidated with ladies that have been divorced.

Absolutely no way, shape, or form. What's interesting, though, is you'll have some that don't, want to. to get into a blended family and you'll see that. I've had that with a couple of my friends, but the majority of them love the blended family. You know, most of us have kids. Some of us, you know, there's a certain percentage that don't. But no, that's part of it. And the nice thing is that people really love people, they'll go into that open, open-armed, open-hearted, and just love the situation. So don't worry about that at all. And I would actually, I wouldn't lead off with that, but if somebody just said, and this was some of the best advice I ever had, is never

blame your ex never because it looks bad and just say hey it didn't work out we had a great relationship that's what i say with my ex-wife is we were two different people we got married probably a little you know a little younger a little premature but we had two great kids she's got a great husband now she's very happy so i wish you the best so that's the people you want in your life but again i'll tell you don't don't ever be embarrassed that you're divorced because so many of us have been through that good luck to you My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit.

Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, And they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating.

He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Get fired up, y'all.

Season two of Good Game with Sarah Spain is underway. We just welcomed one of my favorite people and an incomparable soccer icon, Megan Rapino, to the show. And we had a blast. We talked about her recent 40th birthday celebrations, co-hosting a podcast with her fiancé Sue Bird, watching former teammates retire and more. Never a dull moment with Pino. Take a listen. What do you miss the most about being a pro athlete? The final. The final. And the locker room. I really, really, like, you just, you can't replicate, you can't get back. Showing up to the locker room every morning just to We've got more incredible guests like the legendary Candace Parker and college superstar A. Z. Fudd.

I mean, seriously, y'all. The guest list is absolutely stacked for season two. And, you know, we're always going to keep you up to speed on all the news and happenings around the women's sports world as well. So make sure you listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. Hello, Puzzlers, let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers who say that you were given all the answers believe in...

I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right. Are there Jeopardy-truthers? Are there people who say that it... was rigged. Yeah, ever since I was first on, people are like, they gave you the answers, right? And then there's the other ones which are like, they gave you the answers, and you still blew it. Don't miss Jeopardy legend Ken Jennings on our special game show week of the Puzzler podcast. The Puzzler is the best place to get your daily word puzzle fix.

Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Simone Boyce, host of the Brightside podcast, and on this week's episode, I'm talking to Olympian, World Cup champion, and podcast host Ashlyn Harris. My worth is not wrapped up in how many things I've won, because what I came to realize is I valued winning so much that once it was over, I got the blues, and I was like, this is it. For me, it's the pursuit of greatness. It's the journey. It's the people. It's the full. It's the full. failures. It's the heartache. Listen to the bright side on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the

inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton. Tara. I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I got to go. I don't know how, but that kicked off the pivot of how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Every episode gets real about the why behind these changes and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push to make your next pivot. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we've got another great question from Lisa.

Really, I'm dying to hear this one. Bring it on. Hi. My name is Lisa, and I just wanted to ask for some advice. I'm getting back into the dating scene for the first time in 20 years. You know, my divorce is finally behind me, but I'm nervous about getting intimate. Do guys feel the same way about this kind of thing? I feel like I'm self-fabotaging potential love connections because I'm, like, super self-conscious.

So any advice there? Thanks. Lisa, what a great question. And for a gentleman that's been through that and who has a lot of people in their lives, and frankly, we talk about it, the intimacy is probably one of the biggest challenges that any of us face when we get back into the dating world. There are some people, and you'll smirk at this, and some of the listeners will, that had a marriage or a relationship and they didn't have a lot of sex at the end of it.

It could go on for five or ten years. So when they get out, they're very interested in the intimacy. Intimacy is in the eye of the beholder, and it's what you're all comfortable with. Some people like it. Some people love it. And, you know, the timing. Everybody asked, well, should I, you know, I dated someone and they said, I won't have sex for like 90 days. And I don't know about their history on that, but that's what they just said.

And I think what had happened with them is they got into some relationships that were intimate. And then one thing about intimacy, it either brings you together or it will push you apart where it doesn't work. And I've also read numerous times where a pretty famous psychiatrist said, I like it when people have sex or intimate early in because they find out if that's going to work. Because if it doesn't, it'll lead to a lot of problems down the road. So the confidence comes from, you know, the sexual confidence, the intimate, intimacy really comes from yourself. I'm 62 years old. I don't look like I used to when I was 20 and 30 years old, so I'm not as in a good shape. But you just have to be comfortable. And a lot of it is, like with Joan, I like to hold her. And I really, really like to snuggle with her. And it's been out on social media that she's not a big handholder. And I've really got her changed on that. And but I love snuggling with her. And so that's not sex, but just that touch. And it makes you feel very good. I've got also a rule that I kiss her whenever we're together, I kiss her before I go to bed every night. I think that's important. We're very fortunate that we haven't had any fights, but I just think that that's part of it because you said intimacy and not sex, but sometimes they can go together. But you are the only one that'll know unless, you know, when you're ready for it and when the time is right. If it's not right or if you just don't feel comfortable after a certain period of time or it's happened multiple times, you might want to go see a therapist.

I'm a huge fan of a therapist. And a friend of mine is a therapist. He goes, they're just tune-ups, and they can help you through it. But no one wants to be a flusy. No one wants to be too easy, but it is a big part of life. And the intimacy in having sex can bring a couple closer, and it can bring love and enjoyment to you. So I hope that helps. It's kind of a tough question, but I do want to reiterate again.

I think it's very important you do it at your own time and never let anybody push you. You won't be happy with that. but be open to it because as a man, it's a big part. You know, how big it is. Some guys, they really, that's very important. Other guys, they're okay with it. And the other thing, too, I'll mention is your age. You said you were just getting back into the dating world after 20 years.

As you get a little bit older, it's not as important when you were younger. But again, that's where all kind of deviate to the left and say, you know, if you're not ready. And it can lead to it and you put you in a bad situation. but, you know, just the hug or the cuddle holding hands and that close touching intimacy is a second best. So I wish you luck, but again, do it at your own pace. Thanks. Great question.

Okay, we've got another question from a lady named Megan. All right, Megan, I'm real curious on this one. Hello, my name is Megan, and I have a question. I live in a really small town, and you live in a really small town and you're dating someone, their exes are everywhere. And so I guess I'm wondering how I should be handling that interaction with my boyfriend. So my boyfriend and I are constantly running into his exes. They work at different establishments around town, and we constantly run into him,

and I feel like he constantly has the need to check in with them, spend time with them. And I try to play it cool and not be jealous, but there are times where it's like really hard to do that. So I guess I just don't understand what his mindset is when he feels like he has to go over and say hello or he has to spend time checking in with them while I'm sitting somewhere else and not doing the same thing. It's just in a small town it's really hard to not be friends with everybody. So you want to try and keep your cool and not really be jealous or have an issue with anyone that's around here because it's too small.

So I guess I'm just wondering how I should handle that or why he keeps feeling a need for people that he's no longer with to like him. Megan, who what a what a question. And I've got some parallels to this. I grew up in a small rural farming community. I grew up out in the country. There were 34 people in my graduating class. So when you say small town, I can relate to that. There's an old saying is you in a relationship or even a business.

business relationship, you have to teach people how to treat you. And I think it's very rare if people just have this, you know, I use the word parallel where everything is perfect and you don't get hurt by something they say or they do. If it bothers you and the way you described it, I think it is too much. And I would tell that person. And then you'll find out if they really care for you. There are people and there's a lot of people and they're good people and they want to be nice to people, but spending too much time when you're in a new relationship is not healthy because if I was the other guy that was with the lady that he used to date and he's spending time with him, I'm going, something's not right there. So as we get older, we figure this out

or we don't and we're just kind of that person. And I don't know, the guy could be a great person, but I know where you're coming from. And for you to ask that question, I would say there's a problem. But first of all, I would tell him, I'd say, hey, you know, this, bothers me. I understand you're a nice guy. You want to say hi, but I do need your attention. And you can even use that word, it's disrespectful. Only you're the one that can say it's disrespectful. But as I've gotten older, and Joan and I've talked about this, is we can argue and we can, you know, we can have different positions. But when you're disrespectful to the person that you're with, that's a problem. So I can't tell you specifically if he's

being disrespectful, but I wouldn't say it's a small town because it sounds like if it was a bigger town or a city, he'd be doing the same thing. So I think you just have to communicate with him and say, this is important to me. And I'm not jealous. It's just I don't think it's healthy for our relationship. So I wish you luck. That's a tough one. And almost everybody goes through that, even in the big cities where you see people. And you just have to be comfortable. But he is your man. And he needs to treat you like you are his woman. And I go back to respect. So if he was a friend of mind, I'd say the same thing of going, hey, guy, you're in a relationship, you've made that commitment, you like this person, you need to respect her and the relationship. So I hope my advice

helps you there, but just I'd go back and I'd have a heart to heart. And also, you know, start off the conversation too, saying, I'm not jealous, but this is how I feel. And I think you'll get some good results out of this. And I wish you the best. So take care. Okay, we've got a voicemail from Claire. And that name is familiar. This Claire is not familiar to me, but one of my first girlfriends was named Claire. So I'm very interested to see what she has to say. So Claire bring it on. Hi, this message is for chalk.

My name is Claire. And I am divorced. No kids. I've been divorced for a couple years. And I've been dating a divorced single dad for about three months now. And he hasn't talked to me about introducing me to his kids yet. And I'm just wondering, like, how to bring it up because I don't have kids of my own and I know it's a really sensitive topic, but I feel like this is a really serious, potentially

serious relationship and I really like where it's headed and I just don't know how to bring it up. I really do want to meet his kids. So help. Claire, what a good question, and I've got some experience with this. I don't know if my opinion's going to be right. I do have some experience, we recorded a show for Drew Barrymore. Joan and I did. It was very interesting. They had a guy on there that talked about his crashed relationships because within a

month he would take them to meet his mother and family. And it was interesting. They had a psychiatrist on there and then the crowd, the audience got involved and they asked me for my opinion. And you're saying three months. At one month, I thought that was too early. And the psychiatrist said they have to earn that and they have to earn that not not in a negative way but just spend time with you you know that there is a true future because you don't want to hurt kids as we get older we're adults we can take the lumps kids get attached or they might get jealous um i'm a divorce guy daughter and son my daughter has been very tough on some of the some of the men that my ex-wife has dated just because in my eyes I'm her dad and she's grown out of that but she was pretty tough so

there's some good part of it but you being a a mom without kids if I understand correctly you're probably going to love them and I will tell you this is I can just ramble on this I've got a number of friend couples that elected not to have kids or they couldn't have kids and I look and I go they would have been great parents so give this a little time and I would say up to six months and after six months because they're part of him, I would say I'd give him until six months, give him a little bit of breathing room. Hopefully the ex-wife is comfortable. You never, you know, I don't know how their marriage in it, if there's any contentiousness in it, you know, if there's issues there, but maybe he's working through that or maybe he just doesn't want the kids to see him with another

woman. And a lot of, the other thing I'll mention too is a lot of it depends on the age of the kids. You didn't mention that. The younger they are, it's a little bit tougher. The older they get it because they might be dating or they're a little bit younger than the dating age, but the young kids, they just don't know. So my advice to you is give it another three months and mention to him just once or twice, but don't mention it too much. Just going, hey, when you're ready, I'd like to meet your kids. And then the other thing I'd say, I know they're a big part of your life. And if we're going to have a future, I'm going to be part of their life too. my the the lady Kathy that I was involved with for nine years I was very fortunate her husband was very

active in raising those kids he was a great guy and one of the reasons that it really worked for us I didn't have to raise the kids he was there the you know really the raising them the disciplining and all that was just not part of it Kathy and I just had this great relationship so you got to set that up I'm glad you're thinking about it it shows you're a good person that you want to meet them, but don't meet the kids, but don't push it. Give it another six months and just once or twice go. But, you know, say, hey, it's time. But if the five to six months, I'd say, hey, I think it's time I meet your kids.

And then, you know, I'm going to go into this further. No sleepovers for a long time when you meet the kids, especially if they're young. Just don't do it. It's not fair to them. It sends so many mixed signals. Even though you might be tired one night or something like that, don't do it. It's just not healthy. Give them time to grow and mature and to figure these things out.

So I wish you luck. I'll say it again, five or six months. At three, it's a little early. And it's all about the kids. You just don't want to hurt them psychologically, and I don't know what they're going through. So good luck. Sounds like you got a great guy.

I bet it's going to work out. I truly think this one will work out for you. Just give it a little bit of time and patience. So good luck to you. Thanks. Thanks for the question. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious.

Well, wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate.

Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Get fired up, y'all. Season two of Good Game with Sarah Spain is underway. We just welcomed one of my favorite people and an incomparable soccer icon, Megan Rapino, to the show, and we had a blast. We talked about her real. recent 40th birthday celebrations, co-hosting a podcast with her fiance Sue Bird, watching former teammates retire and more. Never a dull moment with Pino. Take a listen. What do you miss the most

about being a pro athlete? The final. The final. And the locker room. I really, really, like, you just, you can't replicate, you can't get back. Showing up to locker room every morning just to shit talk. We've got more incredible guests like the legendary Candace Parker and college superstar A. Z. Fudd. I mean, seriously, y'all. The guest list is absolutely stacked for season two. And, you know, we're always going to keep you up to speed on all the news and happenings around the women's sports world as well. So make sure you listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports.

Hello, puzzlers. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on the puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy truthers who say that you were given all the answers believe in... I guess they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. Are there jeopardy truthers? Are there people who say that it was rigged? Yeah, ever since I was first on, people are like, they gave you the answers, right? And then there's the other ones which are like, they gave you the answers and you still blew it. Don't miss Jeopardy legend Ken Jennings on our special game show week of The Puzzler podcast.

The Puzzler is the best place to get your daily word puzzle fix. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweeten,

Monica Patton, Elaine Welteroff. I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I gotta go. I don't know how, but that kicked off the pivot of how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Every episode gets real about the why behind these changes and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push, to make your next pivot.

Listen to these women and more on She Pivots, now on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Simone Boyce, host of the Brightside podcast, and on this week's episode, I'm talking to Olympian, World Cup champion, and podcast host, Ashlyn Harris. My worth is not wrapped up in how many things I've won,

because what I came to realize is I valued winning so much that once it was over, I got the blues, and I was like, this is it. For me, it's the pursuit of greatness. It's the journey. It's the people. It's the failures. It's the heartache. Listen to the Brightside on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Okay, now what we're going to do after those call-in, questions. We're going to go through some emails that were sent to me. All right, here is a great question from Martha. Martha states on her email, tomorrow would be my 25th wedding anniversary. I wish it didn't matter. I'm 57, chunky and scared to put myself out there. I was that girl in school that was friends with the guys and never dated that much in the first place. After being out in the dating scene for this long, I have no idea where to start, what to say or to do. How will I ever find love part two when i'm here so i've got a story for you martha when i was in college and i went to kansas state university there was a lady and i'll give you her first name but not her

last name carroll because i'm not going to say it but uh carroll was a little chunky but you know what she did she cooked for us she was a great person she was so much fun and she was a great friend to the guys that i hung out with and we all worked out a lot she would cook she was just the funnest person in the world. She was a little chunky, and the reason I'll tell you this story is the guys we all got together years after college, we goes, whatever happened to Carol? And almost every one of us go, you know, we should have married her. She was such a good person. So, you know, your body types. And the other thing I'll tell you is people are attracted to different things. And as we get older, and you said you're a little bit up in age, that physical part is not the

most important. So go for a walk. You know, if you want to lose a little weight, try to eat a little healthier. It'll make a little bit of difference in your confidence or hopefully a lot of difference. But don't be worried about that because there's a person out there that's going to love you for who you are. And just open yourself up. So it's been a long time. I'll keep repeating myself. Just meet people and fine.

And then I haven't said this before, but I do believe in it. And this is what happened with Kathy and I. She asked me to coffee. And it was just very, hey, would you like to have a cup of coffee? And I said, yes. And we were together nine years before she passed away. So all of us have something to offer. And I'll meet people throughout my life.

I meet, you know, a ton of people through business, through the Bachelor show. And they're all so interesting. And what you do is when we get a little bit older, you want that interesting person or someone you go, that's going to be a really good mate for me, a companion. So I wouldn't worry about being chunky. If it bothers you, you know, cut back a little bit. Take a walk. It'll be good for you. But there's a guy out there for you.

So, you know, just keep your head up. show the confidence, and be interesting. And, you know, the other thing is, I'm not a big dresser. There's guys that were on the show that were just to the tee. I like to say, I'm just going to look good. I'm not going to look frumpy. And I think that's important, too, is just to take care of yourself. I mean, not take care of yourself, but dress.

And the other thing, too, is we can all hide a little bit, you know, when we put a little time into our outfits. So that's another thing you might do. But we all know as we get older that, you know, we're not. We're not in the shape of the condition we were in our 20s. But remember Carol for me, she was a great lady. I don't know whatever happened to her, but we all look back and go, yeah, she was probably the one that got away.

So I wish you luck. Take care. Okay, we've got another email question that came in from Miranda. What advice would you give for a single mom in a small town who is struggling to find the time and opportunity to meet new people? Also, any advice on how not to feel defeated by dating apps? Well, dating apps, and I could talk about this for a long, long time. And there's a reason why they call it swipe left or swipe right.

They're tough, and you won't always get, I think a dating app's almost like a job interview, but there's a lot of fraud. There's no other way to put it. There's a lot of fraud in dating apps is you're probably going to get the best the person is. It's going to be the best picture. It's going to be, you know, and a lot of times it's not who they really are. I've seen my daughter and I went through it. My daughter's 25.

when she's on the apps and she was showing me pictures of these guys and they'll be like with their dog or with their mother and then she'll find out that they haven't seen their mother in 12 years, you know,

just these kind of things. So it is what it is, but I would tell you what the dating apps have an open mind and then know that there's a car crash in about every other one or every third one.

And then just make sure your picker is on, you know, your picker is really working. But you can meet some great people. My brother met his, met his wife on match. And they've been married.

They've got a 12-year-old son. We all know the people that have met people through dating apps. And then I'd also match. If you want to go back to the dating apps, I'd match it with your personality. I made a couple of notes, and you might find this interesting, if I can pull this up. The nine big dating apps, not in any order, but they're in order. E-Harmony, supposedly they do the best research and get the best matchmaking. here's one for us that are older, date my age, dating.com, stir, stir kind of sounds like

it's a hookup place, match our time, which is for us older people, Zusk, elite, silver singles, Christian mingle, and if you're Jewish, j-date. So there's a lot of them out there. I think if you were just using one and you got frustrated with it because there's 50 or 100 of them out there, I wouldn't let that bother you. I would try it, but then I always go back to making the time. So you live in a small town? I grew up in a small town. There's still people there to meet. You just have to make yourself available. Let's say that you're working one or two jobs. You've got kids. You don't have a lot of time. On the weekends, you can take a lot of time. Or even I'd mentioned before in a couple other calls, I've had friends that have met people at

gas stations at the TSA line. And what you have to do is you have to be open because when I was single, if I was somewhere and it was the best looking woman in the world and she didn't even make eye contact with me, I knew that there was probably no choice, no chance on that. So just make eye contact and be nice. And if you're not a talker, just kind of open up and you don't have to flirt with them, but just make eye contact and be, look friendly. And trust me, it'll probably work for you. But I grew up in a small town. I know it's, you know, it's tough because there's not that many people. But if there is a chance you date someone there, the thing is you'll know them or a friend will know them and you can get that reference. You go into a big city, you just don't

know. You're talking five to ten dates. before you even really get to know who the person is or what they do. Because if you go look online, you go to Instagram, Facebook, the dating apps, you're probably not going to get the whole story because everybody tries to be bigger, quicker, stronger, faster, and better looking. So I wish you luck, but, you know, keep your head up there. There's people out there and just be nice and say hi to people and it'll be interesting to see what you come up with.

So good luck to you. Okay, we've got an email from Sherry. Sherry, I would love some dating advice. always feel like I pick the wrong men, dysfunctional, the controlling type. I've lost my desire to date and bury myself and other things like TV and work. Any advice would be great. How can I spot these type of men faster and find the right kind? Well, I will tell you Sherry, my dentist spells her name, or the dentist that I go to spells her name the same way. If you could figure that out, you would write a book and you'd be a billionaire and you'd probably be hanging with J.K. Rollins

a castle in Europe. That is one of the toughest things. And what I will tell you is if you date, you get experience. And then you have what I call are non-negotiables. Non-negotiables are right 80 to 90% of the time. You know, if you want to date somebody in the same religion, you have, you want to date somebody that's not been divorced three times. And I'm a big advocate of this, is almost all of us have been divorced more than 50%. So somebody goes, I won't date a divorce person, especially when you're our age, it just dwindles it down. I don't want somebody to have kids in the home, those type of things. Those are the easy ones.

The detecting of the personality, and I had somebody very smart in my life, goes, I give them test because just talking and all that's kind of easy, but I'll give them a little test about, oh, what would you do in this situation? Or, you know, this happened to me, how would you handle it different? And you'll be able to read those people. But then narcissism and sociopath path, that is out there. to be very cognizant of it, and you don't want those people in your life. Trust me, they are bad news.

And if you see that where they continually put themselves above you or other people, you don't want it. You're going to have a miserable life. And I'm being very strong on my opinion there. But I have a saying that I brought from my mother. I wish I would do that. But she goes, I just said this on the Drew Barrymore show, that the person needs to make your life better.

And it's not that they're subservient. They're giving you gifts all the time. but they have to make your life better. And if they don't make your life better, there better be something that you really like about them, but it's not healthy. And the thing is, as we get older, it's healthy relationships.

It's the C communication and then healthy relationships. So I wish you luck, but if you get, you know, we live in a world of second chances, but be careful with that. And you might have to date or be patient and not date for a while until you find that right person.

but looks fade as we get older, but the character is there and make sure that person has the morals, the morality, the interest that you have. And they don't always have to line on interest, but somebody that you could sit there. Another good thing is, can I see myself getting older with this person? Ladies will go, I don't want a nurse or a purse because they're sitting there going to all these guys. They kind of want me to just take care of them when I get older, and that's not what they want to do if they're active. So that's another thing to consider. But spending time with them asking questions and watching them. them. There's an old thing that's an old saying with people that have addictions is don't listen

to them, watch their feet. And that's the same thing with people. If you think you've got a bad picker, watch their feet, watch what they do, don't listen to them. And I've learned that in my life. I wish I could say I never had to learn that lesson, but I have. But be careful of it, but be patient and be kind and carried, but look for those signals. And I wish you luck. Okay. This is one from Lisa. Is there one dating side better than the other. I work remotely so I can live anywhere in the world. Well, my daughter works remotely too and she goes, I can live anywhere in the world. The thing is, would I give you advice on a dating app? I've only used, I used E-Harmony and Match, but years ago after I got

divorce. So I'm really not qualified. I can just tell you what I've heard from people. You have to look at a bunch of them and then you have to be selective. It's just like picking a mate. So e-harmonie, and I'm not promoting e-harmonie, but they're still, you know, ranked as the number one because I remember going through their questionnaires, and it takes like, I shouldn't say two hours, but it felt like two hours, where they ask you all these relationship, feeling morality questions. I think that's what is needed instead of posting a picture in a bedroom or a lady posted a picture showing, you know, her assets. I think that's just a bad, bad, bad idea. I met somebody through a friend of mine, I met her and her husband.

They actually met on LinkedIn. I didn't realize that LinkedIn had a dating, but both of them were professionals. And she said, I wanted to find another professional. My younger brother met his wife on Match, and he lives back in D.C. And the filters that they have are just incredible. He wanted, he's an attorney, and he wanted somebody that had a postgraduate degree, He didn't have to be an attorney, certain things, and he matched up. But he was living in such a big city, and he found his wife.

They've been happily married. So I would play with all of them, and when you get on there, if they don't ask a lot of in-depth questions, they just want your money. But also ask your friends. I can tell you almost I think any series or group of ladies that are single, one or two of them have tried it. But the other thing, too, is be patient. And I'm a firm believer of trying a little bit of everything in life. I'd get on the dating apps, but when I was on them, I mean, it was just, it was just, it was just never-ending.

And not that I'm special, but there was just so many people on them, how many of them were bots, how many of them were real. And then you would see somebody that you'd like and you'd write something interesting, you'd never hear from them. So you've got to, you know, you've got to be tough. You've got to be ready for a little bit of rejection. Or when you do finally talk to that person, but I met a couple of people that are still friends on match. And actually, I referred one of them to the show if they do The Golden Bachelor. I think she'd be perfect for it. So you meet a lot of interesting people, but just be selective on who you think's going

to be somebody that makes your life better. And I want to talk, too, about opening the distance up when you put your criteria in for an application for a dating app. Back when I did it, I had an office in Kansas and then one in Florida. And a lady that I met, and I did not lie, but I said I've got an office. I'm traveling back and forth to Florida. I met her down there. And we really liked each other.

but the distance wasn't going to work. She wasn't going to move to Kansas. Her family was down there. And at the time, I had young kids. Like right now, people always go, well, is it going to work with Joan and myself? I think it will work, and I believe it will work,

because our kids aren't in the house. Jonah's very tied into her grandkids. My kids have both moved away, so my business and my friends keep me in Wichita, but at some point we'll make a decision and we'll find out what we're going to do. But I would be open. I can't tell you,

and I'm very fortunate in my business because I, customer service and I work with so many people that I hear these stories. A friend of mine, Ken Wells, he met his wife, and she lived about 180 miles away. And usually go, well, that's too far away. They met. She elected to move to Wichita. She is so ingrained in the community. And now she's doing BRB homes all over the country.

And they just have a great life. So if you're going to open it up, make sure that you're willing to travel. Another friend of mine out of Wichita is dating somebody in Kansas City. this is a lady friend and she goes it's a little bit of work but he's a good man and we're willing to do it and we're willing to make it work and she goes at some point we'll have to figure it out but i wish them the best so be very realistic realistic when you say how many miles or what your distance is going to be because don't expect them to come see you every time if the relationship's going to work and you're going to have to be a given of flow that you're going to have to do this but you will definitely meet

more people and I would look into it, but you have to sit there and say, am I willing to travel? Can I drive there? Can I drive there safely? Can I fly? Am I willing to do this? Because you'll meet, you'll just expand. And you take that circle and you just keep expanding it. You might have five times the amount of interested parties in it, but you better be willing to travel. But I wouldn't, if I lived in a small town, because we've had some people go small towns or small cities, if you're not willing to travel, don't do it because it's not fair to expect either a male or a female to always come see you. But I do, I would personally, I would expand it, but I'd have a little soul searching with myself going, am I willing to drive

an hour, two hours, those type of things, what I'd be willing to fly to see someone. Am I willing to relocate? Because as we get older, this isn't a game. And, you know, we're not just saying, hey, what, you know, this might sound fun. These are people's lives. And it's our future. So, just be careful, but ask yourself those questions. And you'll, trust me, you'll have a good time. Okay. I have one final email question. This one's from Chrissy. That was my younger sister's name who passed away at a young age. So, Chrissy, I love you and I miss you. How do I attract the right guy that actually wants a commitment? Why am I only attracting men who want something casual? Well, first of all, is a guy, probably 60 to 70 percent just want something casual. And so your job in the dating world is to ferret that out. We're not all bad. And it's a different point in the life that lives that they're at and you're at. Younger guys, we all know it's going to be a lot more casual. As you get older, you want to, you want a partner. And what I would look at, and it's almost, you know, they say dating, especially the first couple of dates, it's almost like a job interview. You've got to be

fun, you've got to be interesting, but you've got to ask some questions. And I'm a big believer of just kind of throwing out test questions. But I did have somebody one time going, this is probably harder than any job interview I had. But I'm like, this is my time, my life, and I don't want to waste your life as well. Attracting the right person. And what I think this is, it's so natural. I had a question from somebody that said that they were chunky. I have guy friends that like chunky ladies and vice versa.

Women are much more relaxed with how people are their body types than men. But there's still men out there that are looking for that right person. And trust me. And what I will tell you from a guy that's worked out his whole life, my daughter, she has she's a great cook and she's not a size zero and I'm so proud of her she loves to cook and I go honey you can marry a billionaire all you've got to do is cook for them and it's a little joke that she and I have so you know I wouldn't worry about that much but attracting and being attracted to someone is natural but then also look and go are they a good person if you're younger would

they be a good spouse are they going to be a good parent are they going to be this as you get older, are we going to be compatible? Are they going to like my family, my friends? Are we going to grow old together? Or are they just going to play golf or sit on the couch and I want to go do things? I want to play cards. So you go through that and you've got to be careful. And I just, my advice to people is don't settle. We all know somebody in our life is gone. I've settled. And it's their life and for whatever reasons they stay with them. It could be family. It could be money. It could be kids. it could be just complacency. But just my advice to you, if you don't have to, don't settle and just keep looking for that right person.

And it's very tough as we get older to change people. But I say this with Joan is work with me on a new experience. I might like it. Just last week we were in Mexico, I don't like heights. I mean, I've flown airplanes before, but being outside in the wind, I don't like being hot. We were on a parasail that was probably seven or 800 feet. I wouldn't have never have done it if Joan goes, hey, let's go do it. And, you know, I'd probably go do it again.

So be patient, throw out the ideas and know how to. It's not manipulative, but it's opening men's eyes because we're stubborn. We think we know it all. We don't need maps to get somewhere. But a woman, a smart intellectual woman that we need has that map and they can kind of direct us. I have extremely successful friends, surgeons, big business guys, private equity, that type of thing. Every one of them. And most of these guys are.

long-term marriages, which I respect. But every one of them has a great woman. And when I say strong, strong in their own ways, that they work it out. My friend that's an orthopedic surgeon, his wife is a doctor, they work it out. My other buddy that's a neurosurgeon, his wife quit working to take care of the kid and to make sure everything does. Now they're traveling and have a great time. They just make it work. So think of that, but then I always go back to communication. You never know what's going to happen tomorrow, but you can kind of feel it out, especially if you're concerned about picking the right or the wrong guy, ask them those questions, test them a little bit.

And I respect it when somebody, I've had people when I was dating going, well, what about this? What about this? Would you be open? Somebody asked me to go, would you be open to adopting a baby? And I'm like, you know, this is before I met Joan. I was probably 58, 59 years old. And I go, no, I'm honestly not.

And they wanted to do that. And good for them, but that wasn't going to be something I was willing to do. So ask questions. And the other thing is spend time. time we call it repetition is repetition because then you see how the people react and then I mentioned this on another question and watch their feet and if you think you're concerned about not being attracted or not finding the right guy see what they do not what they say we are men and we'll do some things but you know watch them and there are a lot of good men out there

I'll just tell you I'm very fortunate to know a lot of good men there's a lot of good husband material out there. Unfortunate things happen. Divorces. People pass away. So just be patient and be open. But I wish you luck and we're out there. But we do need a little bit of help. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor. a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know

each other, but I just want her gone. Now hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not. To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Get fired up, y'all. Season two of Good Game with Sarah Spain is underway. We just welcomed one of my favorite people and an

incomparable soccer icon, Megan Rapino to the show, and we had a blast. We talked about her recent 40th birthday celebrations, co-hosting a podcast with her fiance Sue Bird, watching former teammates retire and more. Never a dull moment with Pino. So take a listen. What do you miss the most about being a pro athlete? The final. The final. And the locker room.

I really, really, like, you just, you can't replicate, you can't get back. Showing up to locker room every morning just to shit talk. We've got more incredible guests like the legendary Candace Parker and college superstar A.Z. Fudd. I mean, seriously, y'all. The guest list is absolutely stacked for season two. And, you know, we're always going to keep you up to speed on all the news and happenings around the women's sports world as well.

So make sure you listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. I'm Simone Boyce, host of the Brightside podcast, and on this week's episode, I'm talking to Olympian, World Cup Champion, and podcast host, Ashlyn Harris. My worth is not wrapped up in how many things I've won.

because what I came to realize is I valued winning so much that once it was over, I got the blues, and I was like, this is it. For me, it's the pursuit of greatness. It's the journey. It's the people. It's the failures. It's the heartache. Listen to the bright side on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, buzzlers. with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land?

Jeopardy-truthers who say that you were given all the answers believe in... I guess they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. Are there Jeopardy-truthers? Are there people who say that it was rigged? Yeah, ever since I was first on, people are like... They gave you the answers, right? And then there's the other ones which are like. They gave you the answers, and you still blew it. Don't miss Jeopardy legend Ken Jennings on our special game show week of The Puzzler podcast.

The Puzzler is the best place to get your daily word puzzle fix. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't? sure how to make it. Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweeten. Monica Patton. Elaine Welteroff. I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I got to go. I don't know how, but that kicked off the pivot of how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life

is going to be full of them. Every episode gets real about the why. behind these changes and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push to make your next pivot. Listen to these women and more on She Pivotts, now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, before I get out of here, we're going to do some rapid fire. And I really like Rapid Fire. And I will tell you all the way through the show, and for those that didn't know, I'd never watched a Bachelor series before that because I wanted it.

just be fresh. The podcast, I never researched. The only thing I really researched was the dating sites of what the popular ones, because I thought that was going to be some of the questions that came up today. But I'm really interested in these rapid fire because you're going to get my honest, quick response. So here we go. Valentine's Day, overrated or underrated, did you and Joan celebrate? Well, Joan and I just spent two weeks together. She is with her mother, her mother-in-law going to a birthday party this weekend. So we're not celebrating it, but I did send her a gift, and I will tell you, I called her, and I said, I need to know what's important to you, what days?

And she goes, my birthday, Christmas, and Valentine's. So she got a Valentine's gift for me, and I told her, I said, I'm a guy. You never have to buy me anything. What meant something for me is she texts me by the time I woke up and I get up early in the morning, she had texted me and just said, I love you. Happy Valentine's. we have this little thing she goes you make my life better so um it's not the most important day for me joan likes it because of the love but i would say um it's very important and to most guys

it's really not but teach us teach us why it's important to you okay the next one what's one thing every woman should know about dating a divorced man um we come with baggage and not that because we're divorced that we're we have baggage it just comes you're going to come with kids most guys right after they get divorced or frankly broke because they go through the divorce they've got to split everything up we're going to have challenges we're going to have an ex in our life that's going to be good bad or indifferent so those things come and what i would say is be patient and one of the previous questions was well he keeps talking to his ex-wife i don't believe in that i think you can have communication if you guys see each other if there's something to deal with but everyday communication

no but uh and this is i'll tell you this is kind of a strong personality guy is we need help um we're not we're not codependent but we go through a divorce a lot of us are lost i remember the day after i moved out and i had a rental house and i woke up in the morning and i go what happened to my life and uh so what kept me together were my kids and having a place to go for work so be patient and try to figure out what's important to them. Okay, the next one. How long should you casually date someone before putting an official label on their relationship? I heard a good one the other day.

What the kids do now is when they're in a committed relationship, they're off the apps. This is completely subjective, ladies. And it's like, who says, I love you first? I told Joan I loved her first, and I'm okay because I'm a confident guy. You know, it could be a month. And there's people that just with Kathy, I had one date with her, and I knew that she was the one. And we were together nine years solid after that first date. So it kind of depends.

I don't have a problem putting a label on it, especially if you're sleeping together and you're intimate because I think people should do that at our age. And I think, and I, you know, I just hear from both men and women going, if we're sleeping together, we're a couple, and I believe in that. So I would say, you know, a month to three or four months, I think if it's six months and you're still dating other people, you're not meant to be or you're just filling time with each other. And then the label of the relationship is up to you guys because I got in trouble one

time for introducing Kathy as my lady friend. And I'm like, you just have to tell me how, you know, because we were engaged and it was prior to us getting engaged. And I go, you've got to help me. So that's probably more important to ladies, but teach us how you want us to label it. Okay, next question. When dating post-divorce, should you live with someone prior to getting engaged, why or why not?

I've heard two different opinions on this. I had a pastor tell me that they don't like people to live together because when you get married, you have to make it work and you have a stronger commitment. and a lot of the times when you're just living together, the little things will push you apart where you could look back and go, okay, she did the toilet paper upside down. She, you know, left the soap and the sink, those type of things. I personally would appreciate it if my kids live with someone on a personal basis, a little bit older in life, you know, they're 23 and 25, so they could get to know the person and spend time with them.

So talking out of both sides of my mouth, I think it just depends. Okay, last question. What's the best part about being in your I do part two chapter of your life? And I would say experience, experience, experience. Just like Joe, I'm going to tell you a secret about Joan, we're planning a trip. And I go, well, I'll get the airline ticket, but I go, can you book it because I don't have time today? And then that night, I get a text from her, and she goes, I went ahead and booked my part of the ticket, and I used Miles. And I called her, and I go, I bet you got your credit card statement today.

It shows, yes, I did. I'm using miles. So that's, you've been through so much, you've been through the kid deal. You learn that so much of it's really not important or it's not that important that's going to be a problem. So you never want to, you never want to wish away your youth a day in your life. But one of the benefits is you've had experience and don't, and I've got to stress this, don't be afraid about not meeting people. People still meet people.

I saw Heather, my first wife, her granddad, meet somebody at 80 years. years old, had five great years with them. And, you know, there wasn't a sexual intimacy, but they loved each other. I mean, they were companions. So it's out there. And whatever fits you, just you've got to put forth the effort to find someone. But love your golden years. But the thing I'll tell you that I've dealt with is the last couple of years or health

issues. I've always been very healthy, but nothing major, but just knees and shoulders and hernias and my eyes going bad. So enjoy your health, but also. enjoy when you get older because life moves at a little slower pace and it's supposed to because we enjoy it. And I think even a little bit more now. So, well, thank you for bringing me all these great questions. I really do like this. And I've been on a number of podcasts and I've been, you know, certain things I don't like talking about, but the love advice and just the life in general.

I've actually done this professionally too with some groups that I've gone and spoke at. So, you know, I appreciate it. And one thing that we do need is we all grow is send these questions in. And don't be afraid to ask anything because we are adults. And you might be surprised. And again, I just give you opinions. I'm not a licensed therapist. I've just a guy that's been through a lot of things in my life. And I will be open and honest with you. So please keep sending those in. We really do appreciate it. And if you're just starting to open yourself out, back up to love after a divorce and not knowing where to start, this is a great place to just get some advice from people that have been through this.

And I'm very fortunate in my personal life and my business life. And then also being on the show. And we said this on the show, but this was so true, ladies, it was so true. We called it group therapy that was free. You had 24 guys. We lost six the first night. So there was 18 that were there for a good period of time. And it whittled down.

But we would talk about these stories. And I've had some things happen in my life. And I was kind of like, woe is me. And then you hear other guys. And it's just, you know, it's just opening up and learning from them, but the knowing that we can go through these tough things, divorces, deaths, and then bounce back and find love. And I will tell you, I do want to kind of end my comments on this. And it's to each their own, because I don't want to upset anybody. But my grandmother was married one time, lost her husband to a heart attack when he was 52 years old, never dated again.

And I wish she would have. but she just never would. And she said, that was the guy. That was my life. And I just think she could have had a more fulfilled life. It was obviously her decision to do what she did. But I would just tell you, if you really want to meet people, open up, and it'll happen to you. But feel free with those questions to call or email us.

Follow us on the socials. All the above information will be shown in the show notes. Make sure you rate and review the podcast. I'd really appreciate it. This is the first one I've done by myself. I'd kind of like to do some podcasts. I don't know how good at it I am, but it's been enjoyable. And with me, you're always going to get an opinion.

I do part two, an Iheart radio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. And trust me, it does happen. I'm a very fortunate man. Take care and we'll talk soon. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story.

Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs.

The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. They gave you the answers and you still blew it. The Puzzler. Listen on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get. Your podcasts.

Get fired up, y'all. Season two of Good Game with Sarah Spain is underway. We just welcomed one of my favorite people, an incomparable soccer icon, Megan Rapino, to the show, and we had a blast. Take a listen. Sue and I were, like, riding the lime bikes the other day, and we're like, whee!

People ride bikes because it's fun. We got more incredible guests like Megan in store, plus News of the Day and more. So make sure you listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. I'm Simone Boyce, host of the Brightside podcast, and on this week's episode, I'm talking to Olympian, World Cup Champion, and podcast host, Ashlyn Harris.

My worth is not wrapped up in how many things I've won, because what I came to realize is I valued winning so much that once it was a lot. over, I got the blues and I was like, this is it. For me, it's the pursuit of greatness. It's the journey. It's the people. It's the failures. It's the heartache. Listen to the bright side on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.