The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Dear J.D., Signed Hopelessly Single

Episode Date: July 12, 2025

Fatigued with the dating apps? Single bachelor J.D. continues his conversation with single gal Louise to talk practical tips to meet men in real life.Do guys REALLY care about how many (or few) men you've slept with? Is not being able to cook a deal breaker? Do men want to get married again in their 50's post-divorce? J.D. has the answers you've been wanting!Plus, these single divorcées have an interesting take on the current trend of sleeping in separate bedrooms!Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Hey, it's Louise of I. do part two, jumping back into the conversation with single guy JD. So in the world of dating, right, it is hard to know when you're navigating a person that you're just talking to and you don't know their baggage and they don't know yours, right? So we're all just kind of coming with our own kind of cloudy lens, right? So I find that there are some people that are super kind of transparent. they came they saw they conquered right they're just super direct and then i find that there's people out there that will you know you know i would say not for our age but basically a version of sliding

into our dms right that would be for our kids age but that version of like somebody who's making the outreach and like dipping their toe in and then doing the back and forth and then they like they like ghost you and they go quiet when you weren't the one who reached out anyways. Does that make sense? Like, I don't know if that's a function of these people are just, you know, kind of throwing a lot of balls against the wall and seeing what sticks, or they are just, you know, kind of insecure, you know, people or it's interesting to see that.

And I hear it a lot with friends of mine when they go on dates with guys. And it's interesting to me. And I would love to know, like, what you think about why there are people that literally make you know, outreach and then literally don't do anything with it. Yeah, I think that's a, I think it's a little bit of a function of our time in the sense that you can contact so many people so quickly that it does allow people, whether you're on DMs or Instagram or whether you're on, you know, a bumble or match or something, you have the ability to contact a lot of people and reach out to a lot of people, right?

And so I think in sometimes people, like, they'll get a response from somebody and that was the person who was top of their list and they'll just focus on that and they won't, they just will stop replying to the other people. Like they just cast a huge net and they got lucky. And so there's some of that, they got lucky that the person that was at the top of their list responded and then they just stopped chasing others. But so that, that I think is a function. There's not other, I think people are also just maybe just looking for attention and flirting where they're not as interested as they let on, right? They enjoy the flirtation. The game.

They enjoy the game. They enjoy the game. They enjoy the flirtation. But when it comes down to it, they don't have the energy or the time or the interest in chasing two or three women at once. And so they flirt with 10 women, but they only really pursue one or two because they run out of time. And so they're, but they're flirting with 10 and pursuing two.

It's a weird, but that can happen, right? Well, it's interesting because, you know, there have been so, and I don't do dating apps, but there's been so many articles lately that people are, you know, kind of, you know, basically moving off of the dating apps because it's almost like 31 flavors, right? You go on a date, you come home, you're like, yeah, that was fun, but the next person could be better. So you just keep swiping, swiping, swiping.

So you're never satisfied with what's in front of you. So it feels like people are, you know, trying to make more of a concerted effort to do old school meetups or, you know, join a running club or hire a matchmaker or a little more point and shoot. So you're hearing, like, you know, like Bumbles letting or hinges letting go of, you know, employees or whatever. So I think that would be great. Like, I just think that the numbers game is just, it's too, it's like a sensory overload.

Yeah, I agree. I was, well, two things. One is I was talking to a guy friend of mine who, there was a service that women pay. for, like, for them to get introduced to men. And so they, like, curate dates with men for these women. This is like a high-end, high price, whatever thing. But so I think people are looking for a more point-and-shoot versus a shotgun. The other thing is I was talking to a platonic woman friend of mine who she was getting frustrated with the apps.

And I said, you know, the nice thing about going to a bar is there's, 30 guys there and you can quickly find that there's one or two that you might be just superficially attracted to. And then you can go stand there and kind of hear them talk and their energy. And by the end of that night, you might have someone that you talk to and connected to that you got a chance to see in person and talk to in person within an hour, right? Whereas on the apps, and there was 30 or 40 people in the restaurant or the bar, in an app the amount of time she was just saying the amount of time it takes i got to go on 10 dates to get to one person who i'm both interested that i'm interested in their looks because that doesn't

max the picture or that i that i that the conversation was good right in person not the text conversation which doesn't always reflect how somebody's vibe really is in person they can be much better on text well especially chat gpt right right and so so i was trying to convince you like you're what you can accomplish in two hours in a restaurant or a bar, a happy hour is what's taking you two or three weeks in the apps, right? So like I was exactly advocating for that. Like that old school where you go to two or three restaurants and you're around 75 people who live in your town and are single and you get to talk to two or three in person is actually in some ways better and faster than this longer drawn out, you text for three weeks, you meet one person,

you do that again, and now you've met 10 people in 10 weeks versus 10 people in one weekend, right? So anyway, I'd like to see some of the old school stuff coming back for people. So what do you think about the concept of recycling, right? So I love to do this, right? One woman's trash is another woman's treasure, right? So just because there was no kind of connection or love spark between me and somebody doesn't mean that there might be something between somebody else. So I'm always one who loves to do that. And I think women are very open to that. Are men open to that?

Like, have you ever gone out with somebody that you're like, she's great? But she's not right for me. I think she's a better fit for this person. Yeah, well, first of all, I agree with you. I'm a big fan of that idea because you got to know the person enough. to know they don't fit for you, but you also had a light bulb go off that they fit this other person that you know. I think it's fantastic. I think it's a compliment.

It's like, I liked you enough, not for me, that I want to introduce you to somebody who means something to me. Yeah, I think it's a compliment. And if people take it the other way, then they're too sensitive. But I would say for the guys, I would say it needs to be early on, right? If you went on one date with the person, it's great. If you went on, if you dated them for a month or two, they're less likely to men can get weird about that piece, right? Like, now I'm dating your ex-girlfriend. I'm talking about it's going to happen quickly.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. One or two days. I had been dating this guy for like six months or seven months and we broke up. And so my friend said, well, why don't you set him up with so? And so I go, no. He's an ex-boyfriend. It was a ex-boyfriend.

That's like not happening. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, and I don't know if that was a function. I just want to make sure I was, you know, I don't know what it was. But something about that just did not. feel good to me. Two days is great, but yeah, when you get into the months, it's a little less fun to hand it off. I've actually gone and asked friends of mine about girls they dated for three to six months, like, would you be okay if I asked her out? And some of them said yes,

and some of them said no, right? It probably has to do with who ended it, right? And if it's resolved or not resolved. Well, exactly. So, yeah, you got to make the hand off quickly. Yes, you do. Okay, so let's move on to a question from Teresa. So, So Teresa is asking a question about, is it important for you to have a sense of her body count, the number of guys that she slept with? So I would assume Teresa has probably slept with a lot of people, which is why she's asking this question. So is that a topic that you want to have a conversation about? Or is it weird? Is it invasive?

Yeah, I don't. I've never asked a woman that in my entire life. I've had women offer it up to me and share it during, because they were actually sharing it so they could ask me about mine. So they were doing it as a lead-in, which was fine. But unless a woman led me into that conversation, I'm not going to ask a woman that. I think you get to know somebody.

You get a sense if they are, I don't know. I do going to get a sense organically, whether it's 4 or 40, if it's 400 or 4,000, you'll probably start to figure that out from, I don't know, her friends or her social media. But I don't, I think it's a personal thing. And I don't think it's super relevant to whether the two of you are connecting or not. And if it's a real big outlier where it's one person or it's 5,000,

you're going to sense that anyway. Like, if you can't read that, there's probably something wrong with your your ability to read people. But for most people, it's in a normal range and it's all fine and it's all going to work out. You don't have to get into numbers. I mean, that's my view, right?

My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK. Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other but I just want her gone. Now hold up, isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. Then it's even more likely that

they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. Do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, it's Daniel Fischel, writer Strong, and Wilfredel from PodMeets World. And we're bringing you Viva Las Content.

That's right. We are back in Las Vegas, the city of sin, and giving the people what they want. A full week of Y2K content. Wait, we're back in Vegas? Tell me, you aye. Well, for the Backstreet Boys' residency at Sphere, of course. We sat down with Kevin Richardson and A.J. McLean just minutes before they took the stage, and our very own Wilfredel basically became the newest member of the band.

Boy band, please. Plus, the man who has the longest running comedy show on the strip joins us and gets his props. It's carrot top, baby. And finally, we all L-O-V-E-Hur. Ashley Simpson-Ross joins us to talk about her upcoming sold-out vaguely. residency. It's a full week of nostalgic interviews you don't want to miss. Listen to PodMeets World on the IHeart

Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A foot washed up a shoe with some bones in it. They had no idea who it was. Most everything was burned up pretty good from the fire that not a whole lot was salvageable. These are the

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get your podcasts. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season.

Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to be. didn't want to miss it. Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is The Deva of the People. The Deva of the People.

I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya.

In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men, and of course, all favorite secrets listen to the super secret bestie club as a part of the microtura podcast network available on the iHeart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast hi i'm jennica lopez and in the new season of the overcover podcast i'm taking you on an exciting journey of self reflection am i ready to enter this new part of my life like am i ready to be in a relationship am i ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time i wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did.

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on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. So, two responses to that. And again, we all navigate in our own way, right? So for me, you know, I only, I'm only sleeping with one person at one time. And if I'm only sleeping with that, we're totally exclusive, right?

So then I take it a step further, which is really interesting. And I've never gotten pushed back on this, right? But I actually make a guy get an STD test, period. And I've never gotten pushed back. And so for me, I have a boundary that's super, super clear. And, you know, I have other friends who, you know, they'll, you know, do whatever all the time, no condoms, whatever, right? So I just am terrified of getting something. You know what I'm saying?

And so, and I also want to know that if I'm going to be. that I want it to just be with us and I'm in it. What happens when you just start dating somebody and they're just out of their divorce and you learn that the only person she has ever slept with in her entire life is her ex-husband? Is that a nerve-wracking thing for you? Is that like a step up to the challenge? Let me think.

Is it give you pause that she has an experience? experience nothing, you don't necessarily want to be the first one out of the gate and all of that. Like, what would go through your mind in that scenario? Yeah, I mean, it is definitely something to ponder for a minute in the sense that if you're not interested in her, if, well, let me say this. First of all, there's, unless she met the person and married them at 21, there's a good chance that she dated people before him.

But let's say she didn't. The first boyfriend she's ever had and the only person she's ever been with is her husband. I would say if you're interested as a guy, the chances are you're actually, I don't think it's intimidating as much as you're likely going to get that much of a better, like instead of being stressed about it, you're actually more. likely to get compliments because she's had this bad thing for so long that has been dragging out for so long that it's just going to make you look good as a guy. And also, obviously, it means something to her that she's just not throwing a cat out all the time. So if she's willing

to take that step with you, it's almost validation to you that she really likes you. Right. Yeah, one is she takes her relationship seriously. She hasn't slept with a lot of people. So, yeah, that just shows she's interesting to you, which is a compliment. And there's no reason to be intimidated as a guy, like in that, why are you, like, why would you be intimidated by it? But I do think it's a compliment. So, and I, I have, um, since my divorce dated people who kind of fall into your category and it was, I thought it was a compliment. I didn't find it stressful, but I could see how someone might have to think about it for a minute. Well, the best is when they'll call me and they're like, guess where I was today. And they're

sending me a picture of their arm with like a blood test, you know what I'm saying? Like getting their a C test and I'm like, they're like right on it, you know, saying so. So then we kind of have. Yeah, that's good. Look, it's, it's, you're, you're letting them know that like, hey, I'm excited to be exclusive with you. Yeah. I mean, that's, it's all good stuff.

And at the same time, if they say no, then it sheds like to me that they're just not that into me. So why would I want to go down that road anyway? So it's a really good kind of litmus test. It is, right. When you, when you, when it's the right time, it's a perfect time to have that conversation. And, yeah, I agreed. so let's okay so let's talk about this so a lot of the men that i've dated um including like my

ex-husband and different people like supposing they're dating these younger girls and they have had vasectomies so all of a sudden you see a couple things happen um you see that all of a sudden you know all of a sudden the lifestyle in the bags wears off and you know little teeny bopper wants to become misses and she wants to have a baby right yeah and all of the sudden you know all of a sudden the guy is in this position of like, wait a minute, do I want to reverse my vasectomy? Do I not? And it's interesting because a lot of times all of a sudden, what I would assume would be so sexy with a young saying is that she's probably, you know, you know, for lack of the better word, banging you six ways to Sunday, every which direction. And you're like, this is the greatest thing in the world, not my uptight wife.

And all of a sudden she wants to do it. She's going to get the cancals and she's going to get all this. And you're like, oh, no, no. So I've seen people, like, break up with that situation and, like, literally move into another situation. Yeah. I mean, well, I want to make sure I understand the question. But, yeah, I've seen guys that said, they said they didn't want to have any more kids. But then they were, they still had, like, sperm stored.

And they were dating this one. And they said, no, I'm not having any more kids. And then a letter came in the mail. And their girlfriend was like, I thought you didn't want to have any more kids. Right. So there are guys who are having trouble being honest through that process for sure. I would say, if the guy is serious about the girl and he says, I don't want her, I don't want kids, then she would know he doesn't want kids or he's getting a reverse vasectomy.

Or they hope they're going to change his mind. And I see that a lot. Yeah, bad, bad idea. If a guy says, no, I don't want kids for the women out there. Just listen to that and don't assume you're going to change his mind. That is not a great strategy. So a woman named Nancy wrote a question, and I know we addressed this last time, but I do think it's something that's on a lot of people's minds.

So she writes, I can't cook. Is that a turn off? Not to me. I mean, I said, I think maybe if we dial it back maybe to the 50s or something, and people were like, oh, gosh, the most attractive thing to me about a woman is, you know, a great home-cooked meal. I just, I don't know how that can be in the top 20 things that attract you to a woman. Like, for me, there's a lot of other reasons to be attracted to somebody. They make you laugh.

You do things together. You are, you have chemistry. You have whatever, friendship connection. There's just, there's, it's about, you know, the cooking is like item 25 on the list. So I, I don't think it matters at all. It's a nice little plus. I'm not, it's like, it's like, it's like a cherry on top. But if you don't have the cake and the icing, the cherry is irrelevant, I guess is the best way to put.

Totally agree. So, you're in your 50s. Your kids are older. Do you and your friends want to get married again? Or do you feel like you just want a partner that maybe wears a promise ring? Like, do you feel the need to, if you're not going to have children, and maybe not necessarily share money, do you feel the need to get remarried?

Is that something you're looking for or collectively your friends are looking for? What's the marriage conversation? Yeah, I have, I mean, I have friends that are in both camps that are in their 50s. I would say there are some who are like, you know what? I've got kids, they have kids. We're just going to kind of, you know, like you said,

be promised, ring, engaged forever, and not worry about the marriage part. and they're happy as a clam, and both people are happy, or at least they say they are. But then I have other folks that I know that they, you know, three years out of their divorce, got remarried, and we're super excited to get right back into that the being married part really was like an important way to solidify their commitment to each other and, like, show that to the world, and they both were super into it. So they're both camps. You know, I don't, I don't know there's a right or wrong answer there. It's only wrong when the two of you have a different, a different plan, right?

I didn't think right or wrong. I was just more curious what the temperature is. You know, it's interesting because one of the things, you know, so my kids are in their 20s and one of the things that everybody's talking about, you know, right now, which kind of makes a lot of sense, is having everybody sign a pre-nup, right? Like, even though they might be, you know, making $2 if they even have a job, which is hard to get right now. and they're getting a full allowance from their parents is actually when people are getting married,

prepping a pre-up, right? Nobody knows kind of what's going to happen. And I actually think it makes a lot of sense. Where it's tough is if there's somebody who's basically stayed home and their full-time career, which is no easy thing, is to, like, run the household. So the husband is teed up to go out and make the money, and then all of a sudden they get divorced,

and there's, like, no protection. and they've been out of the job force for 20 years, like you don't get a six-figure, you know, salary back, right? Like, you just, it's just almost impossible. So that's where there has to be a little bit of a kind of a flexibility where collectively you have that conversation or there's some sort of a clause, I would think. Yeah, yeah, I mean, I agree with you.

I think people that have spent, you know, decades together and raise kids together, one person can't come out of it, you know, happy's a clam and, you know, financially, you know, just live in their best life and the other person's feeling stressed and struggling. I don't, I don't think that is a, is a good outcome, right? So when people are getting married in their 20s and 30s, you know, it doesn't seem like a pre-nup is necessary unless it has, you know, unless it changes over time, right? If you spend two years with somebody, it's one thing, five, 10, 15, 20, it has to evolve over time versus just this is the agreement no matter when we split up.

I don't know that that works very well. I will say the reason that my father got remarried, you know, late in life, I guess he was in his 60s, right? And he, in order to kind of protect his kids and grandkids, so you see a lot of people doing it in their 60s and, you know, 50s, 60s having pre-ups, mostly because they have kids and they want to make sure things kind of go to their kids if it doesn't work. But I would say for people in their, you know, 20s and 30s, make sure that the pre-nup has

kind of time-based changes. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with a. his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's

insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now hold up, isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, it's Daniel Fischel, writer Strong, and Will Ferdell from PodMeets World.

And we're bringing you Viva Las Content. That's right. We are back in Las Vegas, the city of sin, and giving the people what they want. A full week of Y2K content. Wait, we're back in Vegas? Tell me why. Well, for the Backstreet Boys residency at Sphere, of course. We sat down with Kevin Richardson and A.J. McLean just minutes before they took the stage,

and our very own Wilfredel basically became the newest member of the band. Boy band, please. Plus, the man who has the longest running comedy show on the strip joins us and gets his props. It's carrot top, baby. And finally, we all L-O-V-E-Hur, Ashley Simpson-Ross, joins us to talk about her upcoming sold-out Vegas residency. It's a full week of nostalgic interviews you don't want to be. Listen to PodMeets World on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hola, it's HoneyGerman. And my podcast, Grasias Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition?

No, I didn't audition. I haven't audition in, like, over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators and culture shifters sharing their real stories of failure and success.

You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing vibras you've come to expect. And of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash

because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash, because at the end of it, You know what I mean? Yeah. But the whole pretending and cold, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas Has Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced.

He said, you are a number. York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months.

The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you yet. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice.

Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season. we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here!

Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is The Deepa of the People. The Deep of the People. I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us.

That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about it. talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. So I have two more questions from two different listeners.

Number one is thoughts on, you know, so one of the. the trends that is, you know, kind of big right now is not just separate bathrooms, which I actually think makes a lot of sense, separate bedrooms. There's been a lot of articles about, and I also think once you've been divorced and you haven't slept in the same bed, you know, seven days a week with somebody, kind of hard to kind of go back to that, right? Like, my friends and I joke around about it all the time. like I you know what I'm saying like I want to turn on my TV in the middle of the diet or whatever so what is your feeling on that and do you think the sleeping in the same bedroom for you know the relationship health and that and all that is is really important like what's your opinion on yeah I don't I don't I don't think it's critical at all I mean people I know people who are they live three minutes apart in two different houses right and they've been dating for 10 20 years I know people that have separate bedroom

and, you know, they come in and, you know, come in and cuddle the person in the morning and it's very kind of romantic and bonding and there's no, like, so I don't think it has to be, look, like, it's not the big of deal. And if it, and it can be very romantic in the sense you're kind of inviting somebody in or they're surprising you versus they're lying next to me because they have no other bed to sleep in and they have to sleep there. And they're so far apart on the bed and there's like pillows between them and they're like literally, like I was dating this guy. And I was just, I hated sleeping in the same bed. I mean, if I was like waking up at 5 a.m., I was like running downstairs. You know what I'm saying? Like, I couldn't have gone out of that bed fast enough. So that's the other thing. Yeah, I actually think there's almost, you can probably do a study to prove that you have more chemistry and more romance if you're in different bets, right?

So I probably lean a little bit towards that. But, yeah, not, I think, whatever works. But I would say people should try it. They might find that it's kind of fun to be invited in or have somebody sneak in who you didn't expect to be there. It's like conjugal visits. It adds a little element of surprise versus just same thing every day, right? It becomes so formulaic and it just becomes so vanilla, right? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, I like it. So final question. Okay. How long have you been single for? Yeah, I have been single for about four. four years since my divorce. Is that a function of you've had a lot of different experiences, all of which have value, right? Or have you just not met the right person that has made you want to lock down?

And what would you say in the four years has been your longest relationship or has it just been these like kind of situationships? Yeah, I mean, I don't, I guess I would say I don't, I don't subscribe. to the theory that if there's somebody single in their 50s, that they are necessarily doing something wrong. I think we all kind of grow and evolve differently at different times. And I would say, you know, it kind of takes what it takes to get you to the different parts of your life where you're into things that fit you better at different parts of your life.

So I don't think it matters if someone's single in their 50s. If they've never been married or they've been married twice, I don't think any of those things are a black mark. Yeah, for me, personally, I would say I am being, you know, we talked about this on the last episode is that I think having boundaries and setting a low bar are things that can get you into real trouble in life. It did for me. And maybe it did for other people out there that are listening.

So, yeah, I would say, for me, I don't think being in a rush is as important as having boundaries, having a very high bar for your, like, for your partner. should be excited about them. You shouldn't be saying, gosh, they are good on paper. You should be just really excited that they are in your life and that they're somebody you get to spend time with. And so, yeah, I think for me, being patient and being picky and having boundaries, it's not being against commitment because I'm very into having an exclusive relationship. That is definitely the best. I mean, that's my goal in a lot of people's goals, I think, that are dating, and it's mine as well. But I think, I don't think being

in a hurry is nearly as important as making sure you really get to know somebody deeply and that you have, that you've spent the time really understanding that connection and that partnership versus trying to push it too quickly to the next level. I mean, so I might be a little gun shy, but I think that's something everyone should be picky and moving slow, whether you're 20, 30, 40, 50, That should be a mantra for everyone, which is like, it's not about speed here. It's about it's a, it's a marathon. Right, right. This is not a sprint.

Like, if you have someone who's super connected to you, it's going to work out. Like, you don't have to worry. Like, you've, like, there's no rush. Like, you found this person. It's going to work out. Your connection's amazing. So, so, you know, rushing it or going slow is not what determines success. It's finding that right person that determines the success.

So it's like, um, Yeah, for me, it's not about timeline or strategy. It's about getting the right person in front of you. And that takes a little time. I totally agree. When I see people, you know, things that start fast, typically end fast, right? So I'm watching a friend right now who just starting dating somebody on an app. And when I tell you, like, they've met the kids.

And it's like, it's like the love bombing. By the way, both of them, it's like they've literally fused on some sort of a wound where they're like, imprinted on each other. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, whoa. And I'm, but you know, look, no judgment to each his own. I hope it goes the distance for sure. And there are those, you know, fairy tale situations. But I'm watching this thinking that would terrify me.

Yeah, it is. And I can say I had, I've been in that situation where you, you've been in kind of an accelerated relationship. Like you said, love bombing and things are happening too fast. And it's a, it's an addictive, it's a high that, um, That merging and that kind of love bombing and moving too fast can be really, it can be really attractive and it's intoxicating. It's like a drug. But just like drinking too much, it is not the recipe for success. It feels pretty good. I mean, it's very intoxicating, but I don't, it is not

a little bit, it's a little bit of you, you know, kind of pushing your own dopamine button versus just relax, let it happen, that's my two cents. Well, I have to tell you, this has been so informative, and I'm sure our listeners agree. And I'm hoping that we can do this again, because as we're all continuing to navigate this, new situations, new questions, and to have the ability to, you know, kind of dial into you and actually get the, you know, we all sit there and we're like, well, what do you think this means and let's analyze this? and why is he ghosting me and why didn't he call me and why did he say this?

It's, and you're not going to call the guy, right? You're not going to be like, oh, why didn't you call me? Or like, it's better for us to call you and say, hey, like, try to, you know, dissect for me what was, what happened here or what's going on in this guy's head, right? And so I don't make the same mistake or, or we understand where did I go wrong. Well, no, it's super fun to me for me. And I love being a part of the conversation, giving the guy's perspective. It actually shouldn't be that complicated, but unfortunately it is.

So I'm very happy to be part of it. So thank you. Thanks for having you back. It's all kind of fun, right? I mean, if you think about it, like it's all opportunities. The people we meet, it's never a waste of our time. Our time is just, you know, we have time to meet good people and have interesting conversations. We never know why we meet somebody.

You know, maybe all of a sudden you meet somebody and they're not for you, but all of a sudden, you know, your child is looking for a job in that field. and there's an introduction there or, you know, it's... Yeah, I agree. I think, I agree. Just getting out there and trying things, learning from them, trying new things, just the only mistake you can make is just not putting it out there and not trying. Like, don't, you know, hold up and read a book every day. You've got to get out there and make it happen.

If it's important to you, right? There's a lot of people, I have a lot of friends. They've just been burned and they just feel safer at home. and they're just not looking, you know, to kind of put their out there. But my dad once taught me better to have loved a little than never to have loved it at all. Yeah, I agree. Look, there's bad people out there in the world, but they're equally as many kind, generous, beautiful people out there. So getting burned is no reason to stay out of the game.

You've got to, there's tons of beautiful people out there that are super kind and supportive and go out there and find them. on that note you will definitely attract one of those people because you are a really special really special guy so jd i want to thank you for coming back on again um to give our listeners some more insight and tidbits on how men think super cool to hear very informative um do you have a question or need some advice from a single man email us or call us all of the information is in the show notes. Follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do part two in IHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Hi, it's Honey German and I'm back with season two of my podcast.

Grazias. Come again. We got you when it comes to the latest in music and entertainment with interviews with some of your favorite. Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in like over 25 years. Oh, wow.

That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about all that's viral and trending, with a little bit of cheesement and a whole lot of laughs. And, of course, the great Vibras you've come to expect. Listen to the new season of Dacus Come Again on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Every case that is a cold.

case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell. And the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. This technology's already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast Season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement.

Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special Bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here.

Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Over Comfort Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen.

Listen to the new season of the Overcombered podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.