The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Dirty Rush: Don’t tell mom the babysitters dead: Why can’t these girls take care of themselves!
Episode Date: April 6, 2026Hear it straight from the House Moms themselves.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth About Sorority Life, with your host, me, Gia Judice,
Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Fessler.
How you guys, welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush, and we are going to continue our
conversation with the women who know it all, and they are our house moms, house,
depending who you talk to. So our next guest is Shanna. Welcome, Shanna. Hi. Hi. It's so nice to be here. Thank you. It's so nice to meet you. And I'm so glad to see you because we have been speaking with House directors. The last one that we spoke to was 24. And so I'm trying to figure out how someone my age, which I think we're probably around the same age, gets involved with this. And I'm a little bit in awe of you, I have to say, as opposed to someone,
you know, younger like our last guest, but what a job for you to have? This cannot be, I'm sure
it's wonderful and fun, but also difficult and exhausting. A lot of jobs are like that.
Fair enough. Fair enough. And so this one, you get a lot of good perks with it, too. So it probably
balances out. How long have you been doing this? Twelve years. Twelve years is a lot of years.
And am I correct that you did this, you were a house director for a fraternity? I was for four years.
Okay, okay. And then sorority. And then I'm a consultant now for sororities across the country.
So I've had kind of a different perspective because I've been able to see a lot of different sizes of groups and Greek organizations and fraternities and sororities.
And also the house mom versus house director versus property manager, you know, choices that people make now just because of the size of the organization primarily.
So, okay. So I had a house mom.
when I was in a sorority named Aunt Millie.
So we're going back hundreds of years, of course.
But I now, is it just, you could still say house mom?
Is that, does some women like it?
Some women don't like it.
I'll tell you, it's honestly the size of the organization and the size of the school.
There are still some small schools that have house moms.
And most house moms are very proud to be called that.
Yeah.
You know, and a lot of them have been doing it for a lot of years.
And so it's a compliment.
you know, I think to those ladies that are less on the property management side.
You know, they're going to be more, you know, in a house of seven to nine girls, probably no more than 20.
Oh, got it.
In pretty small organizations, they're going to be the ones that order the food, that cook, you know, that make sure the house is clean, that makes sure the girls are safe.
And it's a lot more probably what your situation was.
We had, well, we had a lot of girls, but we definitely called her house mom, and she was definitely.
felt very maternal.
Yeah.
So you are,
you're a house director.
So is there,
so you live in a house with,
I'm sure,
a ton of young girls or?
The school I've been calls it a property manager
because we have roughly 400 in organizations.
And then we feed them twice a day,
which is massive.
So we have a staff of six in the kitchen.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to have to stop for a minute.
You're in charge of 400?
Yes.
God bless you, my friend.
Yeah.
Better you than me.
Well, it's a lot different.
That's what I mean.
It's a lot different.
Our houses hold about 40 people that actually live in, but the chapter rooms and the dining
room seat 400.
So they're not little houses anymore.
It's like running a motel, honestly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I could totally see that.
So I'm sure there are, I'm sure there are obvious differences between working for the fraternity as
opposed to the sorority.
but anything that we wouldn't guess.
I mean, I would think that it would be, well, I don't know, which is harder?
Oh, ooh.
They're different.
Yeah.
Because the things that I loved about the fraternity were probably the things that are very similar to sororities.
Because it was funny, you come in the dining room and you hear them talking about a recipe that they cooked or, you know, some perfect way to grill out.
or, you know, planning a party, they have the same questions and, you know, they wanted to make it the best they could.
And so, yeah.
The biggest difference I saw will make you laugh, honestly.
When men drink too much, they tend to get angry sometimes.
Where women ugly cry.
Yeah.
That is the biggest difference I've seen.
So I think if I had to choose, I would choose an ugly cry.
prior, I think, that's just me,
than an angry drunk.
But, I mean, nice to know
that you can handle both.
Yeah, what are the best parts of this?
What are the most fulfilling parts of this?
See the growth.
I think the leadership,
most of the students I've seen
in our Greek organizations are movers and shakers.
They're the leaders.
They're going to be the CFOs and the CFOs,
CEOs, and to see them take leadership roles
in their organizations and just blow.
awesome. And so many of them are much more prepared when they leave college because they've
already had to get 400 people to agree on something. Yeah. And that's huge. So they're already
leaders and their budgets are massive. I mean, when they throw a party now, it's a $20,000
party. Can you imagine? You know, it's just so completely different, right. Were you in a sorority?
Yes. Okay. Yes. Okay. Because it wasn't like that for us about.
in the day. It was not $20,000. If it was $1,500, it was a good day.
Yeah, that was probably the whole budget. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's no, it's complete. It's so
different. But it also depends on what region and the country and how big the organization
itself is. Right. Right. I mean, it's a massive industry now. Yeah. Yeah. Where it formerly was the
chapter itself owned the house probably and the chapter alumni probably were making the rules.
where now there's so many national organizations that they're the ones mandating the organizational rules.
And then some of the house directors or house moms or property managers, whatever their title are,
work for the state, which is interesting.
Really?
If it's a state supportive school, they often are employees of the state.
So it's really a different world than what it was 40 years ago.
Well, so in the form of house director that your career here,
has taken you. Are you able to develop close relationships with the girls, or is it more sort of you're so
busy running the logistics? Is that as much, do you do both? Well, you live on, you live with these
ladies seven days a week, 24 hours a day for eight months a year. And so you get to know every name,
you get to know their personalities, their quirks, their hopes, their aspirations. And I, you know,
yeah, you get to know them all. Yeah. Yeah. Is that, as a,
that one of the parts I would think that would be the most fulfilling?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Just to see them become who they want to be and be comfortable in their own skin.
A lot of men and women that come into college that have been hovered upon by their parents aren't sure who they're going to be.
Yeah.
And organizations like Greek organizations tend to really push you to be who you are.
Yeah.
And that's really interesting sometimes.
to see how that transition works.
It's pretty cool.
That is really cool.
I never thought that being a house, still, let's get real.
It's not something that I can handle.
There's just no way.
Oh, of course you could.
I could barely handle my two kids.
So I would not be equipped.
But the way that you're describing it,
I mean, it sounds like, yeah, it would be fulfilling.
I'd like the idea of watching young people, I don't know, grow and-
They do.
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah.
And it's the most, I think the 18 to 22 year old is the most, you develop your own individuality.
You know, you begin to believe who you are and what you want and sort that out between who your parents want you to be.
That's good.
Yeah.
What do you think the worst part of it is?
The 1%.
There are, I always say that I work for the 99%.
And I tell my men and women, I say, whatever you give me, I'm going to give you back.
if you treat me well, I'm going to treat you well.
Who wouldn't treat you well?
You really have like nasty.
It's that one percent that is difficult.
And I think you'd find that any organization.
I mean, I've been in leadership in the C-suite offices all my life.
Oh, really?
I find that with every age group.
I mean, people in a board room compared to, you know, to people in a Greek organization,
they're very similar.
But I think the thing a lot of people don't realize is the,
chapter itself is run by the members. The house directors or the house moms don't really get
involved in that leadership or training of that because they are so self-sufficient and they're
guided by their own principles. They're guided by their own philanthropy. You know, so a lot of that
is kind of nice to be able just to watch. Yeah. You don't have to take part of that. So yes, it is hard
to get the logistics of a house managed,
depending on how many people you have.
I mean, there are some houses now.
They're like dormitories that house the entire organization.
There's one in Washington State, I think, has 400 people in it.
There's one in Minnesota that has 440.
Wow.
They're massive.
Wow.
So, of course, that is a lot of logistics with a lot of employees, you know,
so you're managing that.
But you're also watching these young men and young women blossom into amazing leaders.
Well, what about, so what about you and your personal life?
Is it hard to have one?
And I don't know your situation, if you have a partner or do you have family or friends nearby.
Is that hard to juggle?
I would venture to say no because you get so much time off.
Right.
Oh, good.
You know, it's not a 12-month job.
There are some schools that are on quarters, some that are on semesters.
And so I'm solo and, you know, love that.
I have children and grandchildren.
And I think it's very, you know, you can balance it.
Just the way you would any career is balancing it.
But, you know, we do get enough time to travel and do things that we want to do.
There are organizations that allow couples.
Generally speaking, a fraternity is going to wish that they had a man or, you know, like I was in a fraternity also,
but they are generally not going to allow a man in a sorority.
I have not seen that.
You said that, yeah, yeah, because I was talking to a few of the directors that said yes,
that it is, like, they have a significant other.
That person can come into the suite.
It can't go into maybe the main areas, but, and that there are now, you're able to go in as a couple sometimes at some schools.
But so the fraternity you just said, the fraternities would rather there be a man there than the sororities would.
Do you think the fraternities respond to you as a house?
director as well as they would a man, somebody, because you were living in the house, or is that
hard to manage? I don't find it hard to manage. I think most of the young men that come into Greek
organizations are going to be respectful to anyone. Yeah. You know, I said there's that 1%
you know that in any organization aren't going to be as they're going to be a little bit more
of a challenge. I would think that 1% would creep up a little in a frat house, but that's just me.
Yeah, I think so, maybe so. It also depends on.
the support system.
Yeah.
You know, house directors and house moms get a support system from zero, you know, to some
schools, you know, you live on the property where you're, you're, the university owns it.
So you're under the police service and the fire service and you're under the counseling
service and you're, you know, you have so much support from the Greek office or the student
life office that that gives you so much help every day with what you're dealing with.
I mean, because you have to be a psychologist and you have to be a chef and you have to be a business manager and a finance manager and then you have to know how to deal with students.
So the more support you can get and the more training you can get, I think it really makes a difference.
Like I said, now it's a career.
It's very different.
Right.
That's what I'm here.
That's what I'm picking up on that this is like an actual career.
And I don't mean to say that in any kind of a condescending way.
I just think that when I was, you know, going through the sorority.
life. I didn't think that my house mom, it was sort of, you know, women that were older and,
you know, just sort of like maybe single. I'll do this for a while. Not that it was something that
necessarily people set out to do. Right. But it's interesting, just from what I'm hearing,
it feels like maybe there's a career path here that now people are taking it, considering it more
sort of long term. Oh, absolutely. And consider, I mean, just think about how many jobs do you make
50,000 to $90,000 a year and have free, absolutely wonderful, amazing chefs cooking for you
every day, you know, and power and water and parking and insurance in all of those things and live on
site 12 months a year. Yeah, that's pretty sweet. Pretty amazing when you look at all the
benefits and you, yeah, the position can be challenging, but I think being a school teacher can be
challenging.
Sure.
A construction worker can be challenging.
It's all the, like I said, I think it's the support that you have in that university
or the support that you're able to ask for.
Yeah.
You know, like I said, I've been privileged to be on a lot of different campuses to see how a lot of that management style works.
From it being owned and operated by a local alumni group to be owned and operated by the
university or to be owned and operated by the national organization, they're all very different.
And they're all very different in how those career.
look. Yeah, yeah. No, I've definitely learned a lot just talking to you guys because, no, seriously,
it's an important job. Obviously, I knew that before we spoke, but just in terms of thinking of it
as a career or even people just being able to put away money, you know, even if you're younger,
let's say, and you're in school. There are a lot of graduate assistants that are looking more and
more into it because they get free housing. They're on campus. You know, it's a 24-hour day job for sure,
But there are some organizations that allow people to have full-time jobs.
There are professors on campuses now that are looking at this and saying,
wait a minute, this is a really good situation.
Let's go do this.
And I think that, like you say, it is surprising when you talk to most people about
if you were in a sorority 20 years ago or 40 years ago or even 100 years ago,
it has changed incredibly.
I mean, now you've got organizations who's the budgets are $500 to a million for one chapter.
just their budget, plus a housing, you know, a housing corporation budget. So it's a big business.
Well, listen, I think you make it sound easier than it probably is. That's just my guess.
You seem like the tall woman that could just handle anything. But, you know, we so appreciate you
coming on and sharing a little bit about this.
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Okay, guys.
So next, we are talking to my new friend Lori.
Hi, Lori.
Hi.
So I'm hoping that talking to you,
you could tell us some secrets.
Tell us some of the crazy stuff.
Tell us some of the wacky stuff.
How long have you been doing this, first of all?
Both times since 2003.
Wow.
Okay, so you're not kidding.
No, before that, I substituted for people who went out of town.
Oh, wow.
Okay, so you know the ins and outs of this.
So, yeah, we're getting a good idea in terms of like what the responsibilities are,
although I'm sure they differ from house to house.
Absolutely, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So, but tell us, is there anything you could tell us in terms of like crazy things that happened with the girls?
Stuff that you, any time that you've had to manage what feels like something that's not manageable.
Well, I, sometimes I just think back to, okay, what was it like when I was in school and what would I have done and what was I thinking when I did some of the crazy things I did?
Because I was, I am a sorority member also.
No, I think last night somebody wanted me to fix somebody else's pants that they had borrowed sneakily.
And I'm like, no, there's no fabric there.
I mean I can fix them, but she'll notice.
Do you mean they wanted you to sew them because they had sneak?
Oh, my God.
But there was no fabric to like put it back together.
And I said, no, I can fix it.
Yeah.
But she'll notice.
She's not going to notice.
They probably try to get you to do all.
all that kind of stuff, like save their, just save their asses.
Of course.
I mean, you know.
Right.
Because I'm like, I'm like the mom, but not.
So what kind of mom are you?
Are you strict?
I have a couple of, I'm going to die in these hill rules.
And then the rest of them are like, okay, could we do something different?
Have you thought of this?
Right.
So what are the dye on the hill rules?
You have to wear shoes in the dining room.
Love that rule.
Oh, my God.
Love that rule.
That's your Dye on the Hill rule.
You're the coolest house director ever.
I thought you're going to be like,
don't you ever let me see a boy in this house?
Oh, no, no, because that happens.
That would be a whole pill battle.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
So no shoes in the dining room.
Wow, that's not bad.
No, I don't think so.
Do you have any stories for us like crazy things that have happened
that you've had to deal with?
At one house, the room, the day room that was kind of the party room,
sadly for them was above my room.
Sadly for them, what about you?
No, because I'm a really good sleeper, so that wasn't the problem.
But I woke up and I heard something and I thought, oh, no, I'm going to have to get up and, oh, really?
And it's like, okay, well, okay, so you get up and you go upstairs and you knock on the room, on the door.
And nobody answered.
So I opened the door and they were having a party in there.
Totally just dancing, nothing illegal, nothing wrong.
Okay.
And they saw me and it was like statues suddenly.
Oh, did we wake you up?
I said, no, not really.
Knock it off.
Yeah.
And they were so apologetic.
They even apologized the next morning.
We're so sorry.
And I said, well, no, it's okay.
Don't worry.
What do they call you?
Lori.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
I came in at the point where most people were no longer called Miss Whatever or Mrs. Whatever.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
So.
Wow.
So are they crying on your shoulder a lot?
Are you?
Sometimes not as much as, you know, not as much as you would think.
But there's, I'm happy to listen to whatever they need to say.
I'm pretty good at not telling people who said what.
Right.
I've been lucky that I've never had any real dangerous things happen to anybody.
Oh, good.
I'm glad.
I mean, are you catching them smoking pot?
Are you catching them with boys in their bedrooms?
Is that just sort of par for the course?
Drinking?
I have found liquor in the house,
but the house director's role is not really the enforcer.
You're more the reporter because they have an advisory board.
They have a house corporation board.
Got it.
They have an internal group of them.
And so it's more like, if you run by me with a beer, I'm going to take the beer.
If I see the beer in your room, I'm going to report it to somebody.
Okay.
I feel like that's a happy medium.
That's sort of like, I think that's reasonable.
Yeah.
Right?
I think so.
I think it is.
I think it is.
What's the part of this job that you enjoy the most?
I love being with this age group.
And, you know, don't get me wrong, I'm ready when they need to go on break for Christmas.
Yeah, I'll bet.
I'm like, okay, good, go now.
Take your time.
But I actually took a year off a couple years ago because I thought I was retiring.
And I didn't realize how lonely I was.
I've lived with this many people.
And I love being here.
I love that you love that, really?
Because I think it takes a very specific personality type to put up with this.
I don't know.
I mean, you have to have, I would think, the patience of a saint.
Pretty much.
And you have to be a good sleeper.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, you know, sometimes they think they're very loud.
And usually the house mother's room is situated not where the party room is.
I mean, are you kidding?
I have no trouble.
I don't notice the noise very often.
Yeah.
I mean, you have to, not.
only be, you're in the supervisory role, but like also, are you managing the house, the logistics
of the house? Yes. Most of us are partially property managed. In fact, over the years, the name has
changed to, in some sororities, it's called facility director or property manager,
yep, house director. Yeah. So, like, I, I just spent all his spring break dealing with vendors
who I didn't have to babysit because there was nobody in the house but me. So the sprinkler man,
the fire extinguisher man, the hood cleaner, the hood inspector, you know, a handyman.
Yeah.
Have you ever had a, well, I guess you aren't the enforcer necessarily.
Have you ever had to kick a girl out of the house?
I have been instructed to do that.
That must be fun.
Oh, so uncomfortable.
So uncomfortable.
How bad do you have to mess up for that to happen?
Well, they, I mean, all sororities have bylaws.
national, you know, code of conduct, local code of conduct.
So sometimes you just have to leave.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like the girls, it seems, you just seem very sweet and warm.
Do they just love you?
Oh, I think they do.
I mean, like the person who called me yesterday and said,
we think you would be great at this, Lori.
I'm like, oh, that's so nice.
Yeah.
Wait, somebody called you yesterday and said you'd be good on a podcast.
Well, this is, yeah.
Yeah, they were right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe you should consider this as well.
You should be a podcast from the house.
Oh, yeah, no.
Our podcast is called Dirty Russians.
Sometimes people think that it's about all the negative aspects and it's not.
And I have to say that crossed my mind after I saw the name of the thing.
And I went, okay.
But I was assured that it was not that way.
No, it's not.
I mean, I've been in a sorority.
our other hosts, our sorority girls as well.
And we all had wonderful positive experiences.
We do like to get down to, you know, there's always another side of everything, not just, obviously, not just.
It's not for everyone.
It's not for everyone.
And what does that look like and is, you know, and most of the girls that we've spoken to,
the best part of being in a sorority has been that year they spent in the house.
Right.
My daughter railed against it.
She didn't want to do it.
And it ended up being her favorite year, right?
I love living in the house.
I love the sleeping porch.
You know, all the things that people don't like about that sleeping porch, I loved it.
What's a sleeping porch for our listeners that don't know?
I guess the closest thing would, it looks oftentimes like an army barrack.
So that's a bunch of it is it's always dark.
It's always quiet.
You could always take a nap there.
And I, when I, when I,
I was in school, which was quite a while ago, nobody had, obviously, cell phones weren't
existing.
So nobody had their own alarms.
We had a wake-up person who woke us up.
Right.
Wow.
I guess we did too.
Did we have that?
Some crazy person who wanted to do that house duty at 6 o'clock in the morning, they'd come
around and go, Lori, it's 6 o'clock.
And if you didn't get up, they were back in 15 minutes to do you again.
Right.
Right.
Right.
I don't know. I would hire that person to have come to my house. Oh, it's so nice. Yeah. And then after about 9 o'clock in the morning, you could have an alarm clock. But yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're able to also have your own life, your own social life. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Good. I'm glad. And you have family around that you. No, I don't. You don't. I consider these my girls. Really? I love that. They are very lucky. Wow.
And because I was an advisor before I did all of this, I have girls who go range from early 60s to now 18.
Wow.
And it sounds like you really love them.
They're so lucky.
I do.
You know, you don't have the same relationship with everybody.
Of course.
I have great relationships with a lot of them.
I've been to weddings.
I've met babies.
Oh, I love that.
Yeah, I was saying when we opened, I said, you know, my experience,
with Aunt Millie, and that's the only way that we knew her. We didn't have a particularly close
relationship. She was really just sort of the rule, the enforcer, you know, and, but talking to people
today who do what you do, it just seems very different to me. Like you're really able to, you know,
have something fulfilling. Well, I think the expectations are different. You know, the society is
different. Expectations are different. Right. Most people feel like they don't need a
your mom until they do. Yeah, I do if you're around. Yeah. God knows. Okay, my friend, well,
thank you so much for coming on and sharing some of this with us. We really do appreciate it.
Thank you. It's been fun.
2%. That's the number of people who take the stairs when there is also an escalator available.
I'm Michael Easter. I'm on my podcast, 2%. I break down the science of mental toughness,
fitness, and building resilience in our strange modern world.
yourself through some hardships and you will come out on the other side a happier more fulfilled
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you get your podcasts hey i'm j sheddy host of the on-purpose podcast my latest episode is with
noa con the singer-songwriter behind the multi-platinum global hit stick season and one of the biggest
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Talking about the mental illness stuff,
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Getting the talk about this is not common for me.
Right now, I need it more than ever.
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Chetty
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10, 10, shots five,
City Hall building.
How could this have happened in City Hall?
Somebody tell me that.
A shocking public murder.
This is one of the most dramatic events
that really ever happened
in New York City politics.
I scream, get down, get down.
Those are shots.
A tragedy that's now forgotten.
And a mystery that may or may not have been political.
That may have been about sex.
Listen to Rorschach, murder at City Hall,
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Ready for a different take on Formula One?
Look no further than No Grip,
a new podcast tackling the culture of motor racing's most coveted series.
Join me, Lily Herman.
as we dive into the under-explored pockets of F-1,
including the story of the woman who last participated in a Formula One race weekend,
the recent uptick in F-1 romance novels,
and plenty of mishap scandals and sagas
that have made Formula One a delightful, decadent dumpster fire
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Listen to No Grip on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
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