The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Dirty Rush: Dropping my sister…that’s crazy!

Episode Date: August 16, 2025

Rush is on and some play by the rules…and others get dirty! Hear how the frat boys play a role in who makes the cut and who doesn’t. Our sorority sisters dive deep into the rush lingo to help educate you. Is this really a sisterhood or are co-eds learning some tough life lessons too soon.  Call us at 844-278-RUSH (844-278-7874) Follow Dirty Rush on Instagram and TikTok.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Welcome to Dirty Rush, the truth about sorority life with your host, me, Gia Judice, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Fessler. Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush. We are so excited that you guys are loving this podcast as much as we are. And Rush is happening right now for a lot of schools. so we are ready to dive deep. We know people have been wanting this kind of show for years,

and we're so glad that you're responding, calling in, leaving voicemails, and sharing your own rush experiences with the good and the bad. So let's get into it. I'm Gia Judice. I'm Jen Fessler. And I'm Daisy Kent. All right, guys.

So we've had a lot of people calling in. Let's listen to our first caller. Hi there. My name is Rosie. I want to call in and leave some constructive feedback. Like Fessler had mentioned, this is a huge untapped market, and there is a lot of taboos about talking about the sorority experience. And I think it would be super helpful if you all talked about it from a national perspective as well,

like why we aren't really allowed to talk about sorority life and why we're not allowed or where our letters and the press and those types of things. And then also there was some lingo that I think if we could break down a little bit better, like what a press actually is, what a bid actually is, what a pledge is, what a mixer is, those very things that we talk about in the sorority world. And I think it would be just really helpful for the girls in terms of does how to make an informed decision about joining sorority life or not.

And of course, it goes campus to campus. It's not a one-size-fits-all approach. But if you are Teresa Judice or, you know, a mama or a dad that is new to the sorority life or a girl that's new to sorority life, what that looks like for you, I think giving these behind-the-scenes facts is so helpful for women that are, are thinking about joining this experience. There's a lot to unpack during them. Okay, dirty rushing.

I thought it was sort of now, not when I was going through it, but when you rush before school even started, right? And like that whole rush process, I hear in a lot of schools, happens before a rush. Okay, so my definition of like dirty rush was when like kind of like playing dirty. So when we were at Rutgers first semester, we would almost kind of get recruited by a sorority who had interest in us, but behind closed doors. So kind of try to, they were basically trying to persuade us to go to a sorority before the rushing process started so that our minds were made up before going through the recruitment process. Okay. Mine was kind of like because we did recruitment right when we got to school. I think we were at school like maybe like two weeks and then we went into recruitment. And so I would say ours was at San Diego State, you would like go out to all the frat parties and meet all the frat guys. None of the like actual sorority girls could go out because I don't know, you like weren't allowed. That was like your like dry period or whatever. And so you would go and you would be.

meet all these guys and they were older guys like in the frats and then they would all tell the sorority girls like what girls they thought were like cool and fun to hang out with and stuff like that. I remember going to the parties and I had no idea that was happening. And then I remember when I was like a sophomore and I was like, oh my gosh, this is crazy. But it was so fun, honestly. Wait, that's a wild definition of dirty rushing. Having the frat guys do your homework.

utterly doing the sororities of Walmart. Right? I'm guessing they were probably basing it off of something sort of physical. That's just my guess. Yeah, probably. They weren't necessarily interested in what you were majoring in. Probably. Yeah.

What about you guys? What about this other lingo rogama? Ro gamma? Okay. For me, that was like when you get divided into group. group. So like you sign up for recruitment and then say there's that they have like a bunch of row gamma. So I was with a group of like 10 girls and then we have one row gamma and she's already in a sorority, an older girl in a sorority. You don't know what sorority she's in, but she's trying

to like help you navigate it and help you find the best like place. That's the best like home and fit for you. Yeah. So she's in a sorority but she doesn't have any she doesn't try to influence you. No, they can't. Like, they're not allowed. So they're all. No. No. You don't find out until the end.

I mean, you'll try to guess who, like, what sorority they're in as you're going through recruitment. But they're basically in charge of like little groups, like Daisy said. My definition was pretty much the same thing, except I didn't call them row gamas. They were called Pai Kyes. Pie Kyes. we didn't have any of this no you didn't have someone like leading you and directing you through like to houses and stuff i mean we definitely had people leading us through but there was no we i don't remember talking to anyone but you know the girls that i was grouped with it wasn't nobody

was giving advice or you know no i don't and if if there was someone we didn't call them row gammas we probably just called them that nice girl who's helping yeah yeah it honestly it was so helpful I remember it. I forget the name of mine, but she was so insanely nice. Really? Yeah, no. I mean, they were definitely super helpful. And it was so funny because during the recruitment process,

we would all try to guess what sorority they were from and what sorority they were in. And basically at the end, they would all reveal which sorority they were in. And everyone freaked out and, like, clap their hands. It was honestly kind of stupid. but I mean everyone like everyone got like so hyped like learning with sorority they were actually in and when they like revealed their identity but it was I don't know some of the things really made me make me yeah literally what else what about what other what other lingo um I think she asked what a bid was okay so a bid is basically when you

are wanted by the sorority, right? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So like at the end, I remember we like got a little card and you like opened it up and like that was my bid to be an alpha fee. Yeah. And then I guess technically during, I guess as you get called back, I guess that's not

really a bid, but I guess it's like when the sororities are also showing interest in you that they want you back. So you're hoping to get a potential bid at the end. For sure. Were there one of you guys on exec boards? I was. You are. I would tell us about that, G.

Yeah. So, I mean, one, they say it looks great on your resume. So that is something good just to have like under your belt. But, you know, you can obviously be the president, the vice president, treasurer. take one of those lead roles on, but they do take a lot of responsibility. So I wanted to do something that was a little more fun and maybe not as much responsibility. So I was special chair of events. So I basically coordinated like all of our big events, which I like doing anyway. I kind of like party planning. So I planned like our B-Mock, which was Big Man on Camp.

for at Rutgers and that was like our breast cancer walk because that was our philanthropy breast cancer and so I planned BMock parents weekend and a lot of the bigger events that Zeta would do at Rutgers so that was a super fun like little position to have on the on the board but I wasn't like an exec because wasn't the execs like that's like the first tier and then I was yeah and there's like ones under it yeah so I was the ones like under it but then exact is like the people who are all sitting at the front during your chapter meetings yeah yeah I did a rush chair you're a rush chair oh my gosh and it's so fun yeah and I uh I wrote all of these songs too you guys probably I don't even know West Side story, like back in the day, but I wrote all when you're a phi, you're a fie all the way.

Like all of this and like the dances and that was like. You were definitely a nice rush chair. Yeah. Rush chair was rough. Well, what is it? I mean, back then I was rush chair meeting that I was like, I was in charge of like all of the skits. Yeah, like putting it together. Yeah.

Your little dances. Right? Yes. That's so what it is, right? I mean, I certainly didn't do anything like what you see now. I think it's also mainly now also like going through the social media and the Instagrams and finding your potential recruits that you really want. We didn't have social media, you guys.

It was a whole different world. It was a group of girls showing up, a big group, and us singing West Side Story and hoping that they were going to think that we were fabulous. It was just so different. Yeah, it is so different with social media. Yeah. I was on an exec too. I did Panelenic delegate. So I like went and met with the school and met with Panelenic when they came in and talked to them. So that was really interesting. Because our school. Did you have to get like mixers approved?

Yeah. And like if you're you were on like probation or something like that, if your sorority or whatever was. Because you would show up to the meeting at school on campus. And then it would be like all the other sororities there too. which it was fun because I was friends with a bunch of girls and other sororities, too. So it was kind of a way to like mix and mingle that way too. And you could like pair up with a sorority and like do things together. So it was fun. But I definitely like I always knew like the tea that was going on I felt like. But then I also had to like do accreditation for people.

So accreditation was like I think a good thing about sororities is that they like they make you do community service. You have to keep a certain GPA. So I was in charge of like. tracking all of that and making sure girls got the amount of community service they had to do, making sure they were still at like a GPA and then making sure they went to like certain events that like supported other philanthropies too. We did that. So yeah, that's what I did. Did you enjoy it? Would you suggest it? So I actually, I wasn't going to do it. And then they like needed somebody and people were asking me to do it. And I was like, okay, I guess I'll do it.

So a little forced. Yeah. But honestly, I like it. I think that's kind of how I did it too. Yeah. I can't see me like just volunteering wanting to take on more responsibility. Yeah. I think, do you know what I think is the hardest job on exec is risk chair.

Oh my God. I know. That's where you, I think from what I remember from my son because I think he did. Don't you sit outside of parties for boys? Is that what that is? And you can't. Kind of. You're just like you're in charge of like.

like the girls at your sorority. So if someone like is in like trouble or if someone like drinks too much if something like that happens, like you're the one like people are always like able to call kind of. And at like preff and like formals, you're in charge of like being the one kind of responsible. And you have to be sober. Yep.

Yeah. If you're a risk chair, you have to be sober at these events. And I mean, of course, you know, sometimes maybe they'll sneak a drinker too. I think it really and you're always the bad guy. Yeah, you're always the bad guy. That's why I think it's the hardest like one to be because you always have to be like keeping everyone in check. I only remember that for my son. Like he'd be on a cell phone like outside whatever party. Like this

sucks. I don't know why I volunteered for this. I mean, because he probably had a monitor who was coming in and out of the frat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not a fun. not a fun job yeah so any other lingo you guys i mean i'm sure we're gonna uh come up with more we'll remember dormstorming dorms storming which this is like interesting but like i don't think this was a part of like my recruitment process i think it was just the normal thing to do when you were a freshman so apparently dormstorming is it's basically going from door to door in your dorm or residence halls to basically like interact with the people on your whole like on your hall and just like kind of recruit them for recruitment. But I don't think

anyone ever did that. Like I think it was mainly like for us going into my freshman year, it was normal. Like I remember I was setting up my dorm room freshman year and one of my good friends was a cheerleader at Rutgers and she like just walked into my dorm and was like hey so like I'm a cheerleader here at Rutgers and was like so giddy and I was like oh my god what is going on but she's been she was like at Rutgers all summer because she was training and like practicing for the cheer team so she was like so excited when we all moved in because she's like I've been so lonely all summer like I'm so excited to meet new friends and I think it was just the normal thing to do as a freshman, just kind of knock on everyone's door, introduce yourself,

and kind of get to know people just going into school. I don't think it really had anything to do necessarily with recruitment. What do you guys think? I honestly have never heard of that before, but you did the same thing, right? When you were a freshman, you kind of went to people's doors, introduced yourself, made the friends of people on your hall. 100%. And we kept our like, dorm door always opened me in my roommate, Christy. It's actually funny. Thor, my boyfriend, was my next door neighbor in the dorm. That's so funny. And so you probably met him by your boyfriend's name is Thor. Yeah. I love Daisy and Thor. That's like its own episode. We're going to talk about that. I was like, it was funny when we were moving in together because people

were like, oh, how is it like moving in together? And I was like, well, you know, when I was 19, And he definitely saw me at my worst and my best in the dorm room next door. So I was like, I don't think I can be much worse than that. He saw it all. What about a suicide bid? That was a risky thing. Oh, yeah. So that's like when you only, I mean, from my knowledge, because I remember a roguy,

I'm like telling us not to do this. It's when you only put like one sorority. So say you're on prep. Pref is the last night before you go to get your bid and you have two sororities and I didn't want one at all, but I wanted the other one and I only put like alpha fee and I didn't put anything else. And they know that, so that they know that you're like, yeah, all in. Yes, because then if you only put down one like during like on preff day, like after you go

to the voting room and you kind of rank which sorority you want. from greatest to least so one two three and or is it two for prep or is it three do you guys remember you mine was two you only so okay so then it probably is oh yeah because i i preft i think gfi and zeta so i yeah i think it is maybe two and then if you only put one sorority down and that sorority ended up not choosing you, then you get into nothing. So that's why it's called suicide bid because you could potentially risk not getting into a sorority at all. So you just went through this whole process and then you could essentially like end up with

nothing. And I think it's because the sorority, I don't think they necessarily know, but Panelenic knows because Panellanic, it's like the sorority will put their bid in for you and then you put what you want in. And then it kind of like matches up that way. But Panolinic, I think, hates it when you do just one. So I think that that's part of the reason why, too. Yeah.

I don't know. It's like, I don't know that extent of it. It's like so much. I'm like thinking back to that time. I'm like, well. Imagine. And I think probably Daisy, it was better that you didn't know anything going in. Oh, for sure.

I don't know if that's the case everywhere. I honestly, yeah, 100. percent. I think I would have been like losing my mind a little bit. But also I think San Diego State like is not as intense at all as like other schools. So I mean at first when I first went in, I was like, what am I doing? And then I suck with it because my roommate. And like I'm so happy I did. I ended up having the time of my life. let's bring in the caller hi grace another interesting element is i have a younger two younger sisters one of them went through rush two years later while i was at school and one is going through

rush right now but the interesting thing is that my sorority actually dropped both of them in the first we you actually just reminded me of something that i was going to say to you that during covid though that was also of something that happened very often they screwed up kind of like the legacy um you know of a sister when because it doesn't matter across all boards say your sister didn't even go to the same college that you went to she should always have that legacy of getting into that sorority wherever so they really screwed that up i know for a fact during covid and not during covid it seems to be always a mistake but wow i think it's interesting somehow i think that happened at my school too where it just messed up

the way that they did things to where legacy really was not as important as it may have used to ben and that is something that really put me off and just that's true contact your sorority after yeah i did and they had zero good excuse for it they were like oh it must have just slipped through the cracks yeah you guys where do when they vote now like because that would have never happened back in the day um a sister forget it no way but that was also a time where you everybody would put their heads down and you would like raise your hand like it wasn't like social like you can vote now is there like an app that you can vote on so like it's so anonymous yeah that's what they use in ours is you like rank people through

an app and a lot more of it is done through technology so maybe that's how people kind of slip through the cracks but what was that app called I forget I cannot remember for the life of me but it it was and yeah it was like a whole system yeah no I just there was that would not that wouldn't have happened I don't think I was when I went in paper yeah yeah when I went in And it was, mine was fully on the computer. We had three, I had three of my best friends were already in A-Fi, because I was a transfer student. And it was just nobody was going to go. I mean, there were three of them.

So nobody was going to give them, you know, any shit. So it was kind of like a shoe in butt. I, but even like that, like, say, if you had a mother that was a phi, you were getting in. Yeah, see, that's an interesting thing, too, because I had an aunt that went to the same school as me. and she was like, oh, you definitely will be able to get through and just be a Kappa because that's what she was. And no, they dropped me both times I rushed. It would be interesting to like see how Greek life evolves even like in the next like 10 years.

I know. I think so too because it's weird. I feel like I've seen so much change in the years that I was in school. And yeah, it seems to be evolving a lot. so oh 100 percent i think sororities used to be more fun back and back probably when you were in a sorority gen than they were now i mean then they are now yeah it was fun but there was other you know there was other shitty things that happened back then that wouldn't happen today right i mean you know just a lot of stuff like the mixing with the frats and you know getting called and

like standing in front of the house like when you got your bid And then I think I told you guys about this a couple episodes ago, but like all the boys would show up and like pick a girl. I don't know. There was a bunch of just. Yeah, that's crazy. Like just in case you had self-esteem for a minute because you got in. Like next, the next minute, you were the only one without, maybe this is just my experience without a date. I mean, there's always something. Right. But yes. But I mean, it was, no, we didn't have to contend with a lot of the stuff. I don't even know how you guys do it now. It's a lot, especially looking at these schools in the South and what's going on. absolutely over the top crazy right yeah it is pretty insane and just i think the social media element that's crazy if you don't mind me asking what school was it i don't think i don't think i want to say okay no problem no problem um like you were you said it was down south though yeah so it was really intense yeah big texas school said that and um so just very intense and um so just very intense and the moms even are very intense the whole ordeal um it's just i don't know to a certain extent i liked it and i gained a lot of great friends out of it but looking back there's so much

superficialness to the whole thing that just makes me feel a little bit icky that's why i feel like it used to be way more authentic than what it is now yeah definitely it was always superficial though guys There was always a level of that, I think. Yeah, I feel like it is. And then you got to get past that and find your, like, good friends. Yeah, it's definitely the core of all of it. Once you find, like, your friends from it, that's what you want. So your sister and your cousin are in it right now.

I remember when my sisters were rushing. I was so nervous for them. So you probably feel the pressure. sure. Yeah, I am feeling the pressure a little bit. I mostly just feel for them so much because I know how it feels to go through the process and have it go really poorly or have it go really well. And even when it is going well, it's not a cakewalk. Like, it still is intense and it brings up so much emotion. So they have both been calling me constantly in tears are so happy. And it's such a roller coaster, you know, and so I'm trying to support them through it the best I can, and luckily

I can empathize, so that's definitely something that's been really cool throughout the whole process, but mostly I'm just excited for them to be done with it and start school and get to actually feel the benefit of the crazy process that they've been through. But one of them, My sister, it's going really well for. She's gotten maybe not all the houses back, but a lot of the ones that she likes. And then unfortunately, my cousin, it's a little bit more touch and go.

She's not sure about the houses that she had back. Originally, she got all, I think it was 10 that you could get in the first round. She got 10 back. She was kind of on top of the world. And then actually this morning, she found out that she got, I think, only three. three out of six back for the next round. So I know that that's been kind of hard on her. It's crazy. That drop that can happen. Yeah. No, it's so boring, I bet. Because, I mean,

getting 10 back, that's pretty rare. It's a big deal. Yeah. So to go from 10 to 3, I mean, my heart just hurts. Like, that never feels good, even if you. I'm so glad she has you, though. Yeah. I'm really glad that I can help them through it. Because I know that when I was going through the process, I really wished that I had more people that I could kind of lean on who had gone through it and understood. Maybe there is something to be said with these sorority coaches. Maybe there is like, you know, something to have somebody who's actually does it professionally and understands what can happen at any given moment and can kind of coach you, you know, through it a little bit and help out just the whole, the emotions of it all.

maybe if it's a nice sorority coach they're looking out for your mental health and maybe what color you should change your hair right i mean at least you went through kind of i guess both experiences grace like you had one that wasn't so great and one that obviously it got better at the end so i feel like that definitely you know is helping your cousin out right now because even if things don't go as planned for her right now just tell her to try again I know. I think that could be good. And they have COB and all of that. So I know that she'll be fine. And if it's meant to be, she'll find that home eventually. And who knows, even throughout this process. Oh, my God. Yes. The COB is. You just brought up another sorority word. What is it? I don't know what it is. So continue open bidding, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like you basically just kind of get accepted in. Right. It's if you're, it's after rush and they have a couple of girls that they can bring in if they want. But typically it happens the semester after. Yeah. I think it's if the sorority doesn't meet their quota or if some people like end up accepting a bid, but then not going to get a situation. They'll have extra spots and they'll kind of like just, yeah, it's a much chiller process. They'll kind of just be like they don't have to do anything. They just walk in the door. We know she wants to be a theater or whatever, and they're like, welcome. What does it stand for, C-O-B? Continuous open-grading.

Got it. So that's always a good option, too. I wish I could have done that. It would have been so much of the year. You know, I hope your cousin's experience only goes up from here, and I'm happy that your sister is doing great. Wow. Okay, you guys, I feel for her. Obviously, I feel for her cousin and her sister, but to be outside of it and somebody you love is going through it. And again, I mean, I had a daughter go through it. And it's a different experience. It's almost harder, I think. I think. I don't know, it's just knowing that, like I wanted, anybody that was going to reject my daughter, Rachel, they had to die a slow and painful death.

It's still like that. Like, if she doesn't get a job or she doesn't get the boy, that has, no, it has to be slow and painful. That person is dead, must be wiped off the map. So, like, you know, as a mom of it or a cut, like, you want the whole sorority, especially if it's your sorority. Imagine your own sorority is rejecting your sister. No, I'd be proud of us. No good. Yeah. No, I definitely believe that it's harder as a mom watching it because I even, I think about my mom and like anything I've gone through in my life. I remember one time she told me, she said anything that I go through is 10 times harder than anything she's ever gone through. Like for her like watching and having to like watch me go through it if I'm like going through something hard. So I totally believe that. And my little sister too, someone does her wrong. I'm like.

Yeah, I want to pounds. Oh, that's it. Do you guys see that? There's a TikTok right now of this mom who has Life 360 or whatever it is. So she's following her daughter through the process. She's like, okay, now she's at, I don't know, now she's at Theta. Now she's, oh, my God, why did she stay in Theta for so long? Why didn't she walk out?

Oh, God. No, it's sick. That's a little crazy. I can't. I would be like, Mom, get off that. I might have done that if it was, if it wasn't all on. Zoom but she's like freaking out like wait a second wait a second why is she out on the porch why isn't she going in is she taught like just the whole thing is so hyper analyzing me yeah

yeah yeah yeah i mean i think right now obviously even for grace and her cousin and her sister i know it feels like the end of the world but after college or even after your freshman year literally it doesn't even matter it doesn't matter it's like it's such that's why I hate how like it's it's like a fever dream in the moment but then it goes away like no matter what you are going to be okay like if you're in a sorority if you're not in a sorority you're going to be fine like everything is going to be amazing but it's like in that moment for some people so many of my friends didn't rush some of them got dropped from everything some of them didn't have the GPA and you know a lot of my friends you wouldn't expect them to get dropped either

pretty girls you wouldn't you wouldn't think that they would but it's also hard if you get blacklisted or if you have a certain reputation from being out on one of our episodes guys about getting blacklisted and what that what that's about definitely well i think it's a lot easier for girls to get blacklisted if they're rushing their sophomore year or if they're a transfer because then it allows obviously the sororities to get to know you and look at you while you're out. And if they kind of don't like what they see, then you could get blacklisted or if you're screwing a sorority sister's boyfriend or this or that. And that's why this one girl got blacklisted because she was, she didn't know.

And that's the hard part. As a freshman, you don't know these frat boys and who they're dating and all the ties and literally I felt so bad but my one friend in college she got blacklisted and she couldn't rush because she ended up having sex with someone's boyfriend and she had no idea I don't think the girls and I could be I'm just thinking about it Delaware like I don't think that they were allowed as freshmen to go to parties like with rap boys because of that very thing. Once you were in, you couldn't.

But what if you didn't rush your freshman year? I guess if you didn't give a shit and you went. But if you were rushing or in a sorority, then you weren't allowed. Yeah. Your sorority. Yeah. Well, we were allowed to go. I don't know if I was supposed to or not.

I guess we weren't allowed to go out like during the rush process, but I definitely went out for a semester for sure. And then, yeah, I mean, if girls didn't have the GPA. and weren't allowed to rush freshman year. My friends went out. And I think you're the craziest your freshman year. I could be wrong. I feel like that's the worst.

Yeah. Like everyone was nice. Freshman year is crazy. Honestly, though, there's nothing like it, though. It's so fun too. So, no, it was one of my, my best year. My freshman year. Right.

My best year. It's just everything's so new and exciting and scary too. But it's like all of that like compiled together. makes it great. She felt bad for anyone that didn't go to Delaware. I was like, Rachel, I feel like they're okay. They're okay. They're getting through.

That's funny. That's a great way to feel. Not everybody does. Oh, my gosh, for sure. For sure. There's so many. And I love you guys, the message that you guys are sending out that it's going to be okay. And this is coming from two girls.

I love being in a sorority, you know, and that you're, you have so many friends who it didn't work out for in terms of whatever, you know, getting into the top tier. Definitely. Yeah. So anyone listening, if you're going through it, if you went through it, or if you're a mom watching your daughter go through it or a sibling or anyone, no matter what, it'll be okay. Thank you, Miss Daisy. This is an I-Heart podcast.