The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Dirty Rush: IS IT REALLY SORORITY JAIL!?!???!

Episode Date: August 23, 2026

She went viral for comparing Standards to Prison!  That does seem like a bit of a stretch but we’ll admit Standards can be VERY strict and often makes the sisters STRESSED!Let’s go deep into the controversies surrounding STANDARDS!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. Behind every night spent making the kids' lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pastos survive the first bite? Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all?

And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Craved Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on Internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.za for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the survivor files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If your bookshelf and your for-you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island to serve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture. with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to Pro Society on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth About Sorority Life. With your host, me, Gia Judice, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Fessler. Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush. I'm Gia

Judice, and today I am joined by Elise Stacey, who has compared the the Ole Miss Standards Board to jail. We're going to hear all about that and more juicy secrets about Southern Rush. Glad to be here. Sounds like a party. It is. It's a sorority party. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Love it. So can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Where are you from? And where did you go to school? Sure. I grew up in the country in the country of Mississippi. And I went to Ole Miss. There was nowhere else that I was looking.

I didn't even apply anywhere else. I knew I wanted to be an Ole Miss Rebel. And I knew I wanted to go through sorority rush from very young age. So I was a Tridal at Ole Miss and it was 100 years ago, as I like to say. But let's just say that it was 20-something years ago. Wow. My sister was my sister's a Tridale at UMesh. Okay. So what made you decide to go to Old Miss? Why were you so set on going there? You know, I think just growing up in Mississippi, there's really two camps. It's either Ole Miss or Mississippi State, right? And I had family ties to Ole Miss. And if you've ever been, I think you would understand why you would go.

I mean, it's just so much fun. It's just, it's a beautiful city, well, city, it's a beautiful town. Oxford is darling. And everybody there's just real warm and welcoming. And there's, there's just something about it. It just feels like home. I was there this past weekend and I love it. Oh, that's amazing. Do you still live in Mississippi? No, I live south of Nashville. I moved to Nashville. I tend to go to business school and then I never left. Everyone says that about Nashville. You go and you never leave. That's what happens. Yeah. So what was your overall experience like at all. Miss. I loved it. It was a blast. It was a lot of fun. I had a ton of fun. I did. I was good with my grades. The biggest mistake I ever made at Ole Miss was that I graduated early. I mean, how dumb was that? I don't know what I was thinking. Type A. But yeah, I had a great time. It was, I made friends for life that I'm still really close to and still writing those recommendations for Tri Delta even now. I love that. So you were in Tridelt. Do you think it's different now than when you were a chapter member? Oh, sure. I mean, for one thing, the verbiage has changed, right? Like we said rush rushes. Now it's P&M, potential new members. There's all these kind of things. We used to do the door song where we would all pile in like on top of each other. And it's like the door it open. We would all just be like on top of each other, which was very uncomfortable and probably dangerous. They quit doing that now too. And some of the, you know, we did the philanthropy round. We did the all the, the preff round. We did, I think we spaced it out differently and

called them different things, but I think that the sentiment is largely the same from what I've seen. They just call it different things. Got it. So I think the big thing is when you got called to standards. So what did you do? What did they say to you? We want to hear it all. Okay. So here's the thing. Like, disappointingly, it's not like I even did anything fun. Like, that's the thing, right? Like, I was so mad when I had to go to standards because it was for the silliest thing. So I was dating this boy. Okay. Let's start there. I was dating this boy. That was the problem. It's the boy's ball. So they had this rule, and I understand why, I'm sure it's liability, where there was a party in Memphis. And, of course, we're in Oxford. And so the rule was, you rode the party bus.

You rode the party bus no matter what. So we jumped on in Oxford. We rode to Memphis. Well, the boy I was Dayton lived in Memphis, and he was older than I was. And he wasn't wrong. He was like, this is this is dumb. Like, why do we have to ride all the way back to Oxford when I'm just going to go to Memphis? Like, we don't need to do this. This is really stupid. And I was like, I'm not saying that it's, you you know, not annoying, but it is the rules. They still have that rule to this day. I mean, even when I was in my sorority at Rutgers, it was the same thing. Whenever there, you have your form roles or your, you know, your socials or anything that's off

campus, they always provide transportation and you do need to get on the bus to go back to the house. I think it's just liability. But my work at the time basically looked, and I'm a freshman. Yeah, I was a freshman. So I'm like new and green and don't want to break any rules. And he looks at one of his friends that he knew that was a senior child out and goes, do we really have to do this? and she goes, no, I don't worry about it.

So he just scratched my name off the list, which was so dumb. And we didn't, anyway, I got called in. I was devastated. I felt like I was getting, like, put in front of, like, the whole congregation at church, you know, and it's like, one of the girls that was on standards board was my best friend's future sister-in-law. And just that alone, like, just scared me to death. So anyway, that's why I went. And then they took a crush party away from me.

It was devastating. So. Why do you think it's so scary to be sent to standards? Girl, I don't know. Just something about it. Like, I mean, we just had the fear of God. Like, I just knew there was nothing worse than getting called to standards. And we'd always heard about it.

I don't know if it was like this mythical thing that we'd all talked about. But like, for sure. And also as a freshman, I think that's the worst case scenario, like, to be sent to standards. I think as you get older, you're like, okay, maybe it's not that bad. But as a freshman, it's like, my life is over. I think you're right. I think because I was so young, right? And they took Crush Party, which was in February.

So it must have been like the first semester. First semester, freshman, are you kidding me? I thought my life was over. I was so upset. Now, I think if it would have been more junior year, I would have been like, eh, you know, probably wouldn't have been stressed about it. But yeah, scary times. Never gotten over it, as you can see, 20-something years later.

You really wanted to go to that crush party. Yeah, I did. Was that just like another one of your formals? Yeah, it was actually the party that the Tridouts and the Cajos do. I don't know if they still do it, but it was the crush party. and it was just super cute. You take your date and whatever, and I didn't get to go. And my roommate at the time was a Kyo freshman year.

So it was a sting for her too. She was like, you don't get to go to a crush party. And I was like, I got to crush party. Yeah, it was, my life was over. In the comment section of your video, you asked people to share the most ridiculous reason they ever got sent to standards. What was the craziest response you received? Okay, y'all, those comments were hilarious.

And I feel like there's a whole other series that could be done behind it. But there was this one. One girl, I'm trying to remember where she was from, it doesn't really matter, that I think got in trouble for like hanging around the wrong crowd, but it wasn't really even defined. Like that was the problem. They were like, we didn't like who you were spending time with the other night. Well, that's super vague. And how do they get to dictate that? I don't know.

That's why I just thought it was so crazy. And then, of course, there was the obligatory I danced on the stage. Well, hey, we all know you can't be dancing on no elevating. Especially as a freshman. Before you're initiated, you cannot go on any elevated services. Elevated services. Yeah, to this day, my daughters, they're young. But if one of them tries to stand up on something, I'm like, no, elevated services, Lord, no. Start that behavior. But yeah, there were some wild comments in there. But I think one was just like being associated with the wrong group, which was so dumb. And then something about elevated surface. And then, of course, there's the ones where you were holding the drink and you had the letters. I mean, those are the things that I understand. But, I mean, you know, it is kind of silly, the grand scheme of things, I guess, right? I mean water bottle same thing right who's to say this isn't filled with whiskey exactly you know what I mean it's water but who's to say for moms whose daughters get sent to

standards what advice would you recommend they share with their panicked kids to calm them down okay I think the first like if I was talking to my younger self I would probably my children I would probably say don't worry you're like 20 years old okay this is not going to be the biggest thing that ever happens to you you've got lots of big things coming your way in this same intent. Like one day you'll laugh about it because that's the truth. It's so true. Right. So I would probably just say, this two shall pass. One day you'll laugh about it. Just go in with grace and humility and be kind and do the right thing. And at the end of the day, if they really want to punish you that badly, then maybe you should rethink things. I don't know.

What happens actually when you walk through the doors of standards? Walk us through the process, how you felt walking in and who's there. Okay, so I think I have repressed some of this because it was so terrifying. But I do remember vividly walking through like double doors, right? And being like all down and like walking through like double doors and then seeing this like table, right? And they're all facing you. And they were probably one, two, three. I remember who was there.

There's probably four of them sitting there. And they had their little pads and their little pins. And it's like they were taking notes. and they were getting the facts, you know, and then it was just a series of questions like, did you on the night of the party, cross your name off of the bus list? And I'm like, my boyfriend did, you know, that kind of thing.

Like, I'm so disappointed in you. And I just remember, like, tearing up and being like, I don't want you all think that I'm like, rebellious. I love being a try now. I'm so sorry. It's hysterical looking back on it. It's funny.

So yeah, that's what happened. That's so funny. Is there a type of girl who tends to get sent to standards more than others, or do you think it really could happen to everyone? Golly. I mean, I would just say, by and large, I think that if you're a good person, a good friend, and you act like a lady, like, what are they going to call you in there for? Unless somebody just wants to be tacky and nitpicky, which we saw that on my comments.

There was a lot of that tacky, nitpicky, you know, whatever. But otherwise, no, I would say if you just act like, Just act like a lady. You're representing the sorority. And it really shouldn't be that complicated. So no, I will say this. I was the only one in my friend group that were go to standards. But I was kind of the more like, I don't say wild. Like, I mean, I think I graduated with like a three, six. But I think I also had a good time. But nobody in my friend group went except for me. So shame on the group. Behind every night spent making the kids lunches, there's a lot of suspense. Will they finally eat the veggies? Will the pesto survive the first bite?

Will the lunchbox come home empty, half full, or come home at all? And will you finish episode 8 before you're done slicing the cucumbers? Get Bell Pure Fiber Internet with Craved Netflix and Disney Plus from $94 a month. Price guaranteed for two years on internet with a two-year term and auto pay credit. Visit bell.orgia for details and to check availability. Bell, connection is everything. When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months. I survived and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the Survivor Files. I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying shut up, don't say anything. Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me. I started feeling that that. There was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming. They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced. But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

There's stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to the Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse. I'm Eli Rallo and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having. I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed.

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as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus or this random dude is offering me a ride on his motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero, and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word solita, trading the pity for possibility. Every time I tried to be alone, I kept meeting people and they were like, you smiled at us. Not a lot of people smile around here. It's when you're that you're most receptive to the world as it is and not the lies you're sold about it. It can be a time where you push your limits, change your mind, or wake up to a new version of yourself. So whether you're a solo travel veteran or you're too nervous to book your first trip,

I hope you listen to Solita on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever seen someone get sent to standards for something totally unfair? Not myself personally, no. No. In my experience, aside from, which I'm not saying it's unfair what happened to me, I broke the rule. I should have said no to the boyfriend. That's the lesson here. Don't let the boyfriend tell you what to do.

That's the lesson. If you could redesign the standards process, what would you change about it? I think what I have learned in my career in life is that you should lead with curiosity as opposed to leading with immediate criticism or assumptions. And so if I, let's just say we go back in time, they could have said at least help us understand what happened. This seems out of character for you. You're, you know, you're one of our rushies that we loved and we all know you personally to help us understand what happened at night. And I probably would have been like, y'all, I'm so sorry.

Like my boyfriend just didn't want to do this because he lived in Memphis and I caved because, you know, I love him or whatever, right? And I think that that would have been a much better conversation. I'm not saying that they could have done it that way based on rules. but I think we would have a more productive conversation, in which case I would have been like, I know it was wrong. I'm sorry, I'll take the punishment, right? I totally agree. Like, basically don't be too quick to judge. Yeah, exactly. That's what I would say. How does rush culture in the South compare to what you've heard about schools up north or out west? Honey, I do not think it is the same at all. It's definitely not. I don't even close to the same thing. I really don't. I mean, being a tried out at Ole Miss, I will say, I mean, and I've had a lot of accomplishments in my life, I will say, is one of my top accomplishments because it's so darn hard to get in there. And, you know, it felt like an honor that I was at the sorority and I still feel that way. So I don't know that it has that same feeling out west, right, or up north even. Like my mom is from Ohio. No. And she, to me, she was, she was, she was president of her sorority. That a sorority didn't even exist down here. It doesn't even, it's not even a thing, right? I just think it's a completely, it's a completely different ball game. I couldn't agree more. I think. I think.

it's a totally different scale. I mean, I went to Rutgers University right here in New Jersey. And listen, sorority life and Greek life, it is big, but the school is also huge where like Greek life, if you really think about the whole thing, it does not take up the whole school by any means. It's a small portion of it. And of course, once you're involved in Greek life, those are the people that you surround yourself with and that is your social life. But when you really think of the university as a whole, I wouldn't say you automatically look at Rutgers. and think of Greek life. Right, right, exactly. So funny enough, this past weekend, I told you, we were in Oxford. There was a tried out alum thing. That's why I was there. And I had my daughters

with me. And my oldest daughter, at one point, I made mention of not everybody does sororities and fraternities. And she goes, well, why would you even, why would you not? Why, how would you go to Ole Miss? Wait, you don't have to go be in a sorority to go to Oleess? And I was like, you do not. But a lot of people do. It's a really big part of it. What's one thing about a southern sorority life that outsiders always get wrong? I think there's a lot of negative connotations out there and they're just not true. It's kind of like how I feel like I have to defend the phrase, Bless Your Heart a lot on my Southern Studies and Stories page that I do because people just assume

the negative, like they hear, bless your heart. Because the truth is, it can mean a lot of different things, right? It's a myriad of definitions. But I think people maybe have a negative connotation and think it's cultish or it's exclusive, which of course it is exclusive, right? But at the end of the day, it's just about lifelong friendships. I mean, I have friends that are lifelong friends. They're the closest thing that I've ever had to sisters. We were all together this weekend and we all cried because we're like, we've been doing this together for so long. And now we've got little girls that are growing up together and it's just

the sweetest thing. So I would say that. What people don't understand, they'll sometimes fill in the blanks with things that are not necessarily the most positive. No, I, you know, and it is true. I think that people feel that there's a lot of pressure and a lot of, you know, maybe, and you're right, it is a little exclusive when you are joining a sorority, but that's anywhere. You could be rushing a sorority down in the south, out west, up north. Like, it really doesn't matter. Any sorority that you join, unfortunately, they are picking and choosing who they want to enter their chapter. So regardless of the sorority, that exclusivity does happen. But it is just a little more intense in the South,

but I think it's intense in a good way. It's a lot of fun. You have the dances. The houses are just mansions. Like everything about it, it's just, I think it's a lot, it's just on a bigger scale than anywhere else.

Yeah, I think you're right about that. The first time I took my girls in the house, my daughter, my oldest daughter looked to me and she was like, Mama, you lived here. I was like, girl, I show did.

That's here in my life, too. Can you imagine? I told the president this weekend and the sorority house when I saw her. I said, listen, next time you'll do a fundraiser, what y'all need to do, and everybody would bid on it from an alumni standpoint is you need to auction off like a weekend in the house. That would be crazy. Could you imagine if they like Airbnb beat it? That's what I'm talking about.

You let me in there three meals a day. I don't have to do anything. It's like, oh my God, it'd be the best thing ever. Any pre-rush rituals or superstitions, girls swear by down south. No. Not that I'm familiar with anyone. That I mean they don't exist, but I don't remember any sort of rituals or we have to clap our hands so many times or we won't get our rushes. No, I remember any of that.

It was just hugs and grit and exhaustion. Do you think there's tension between sororities? Oh, honey, I'm sure there is. I never felt it. I mean, to me, I mean, my sophomore year, I lived with a Chi Omega and a Kappa Delta and I was a trial and we were all good friends. And that was never a thing. I'm sure that you can find it if you want to. I'm sure that that does exist.

But I think it's kind of like it's what you put your energy toward. And I was not going to put my energy toward any of that. Nor did I ever hear any of my sorority sisters say anything poorly about other sororities. But maybe I was in a bubble. I just didn't hear it. No, I mean, my sister goes to the University of Michigan. She's in Trideout. And now she's going into her senior year.

But her junior year, she lived with all of her friends that she met freshman year. And obviously, after you rush, you all find your home. And they were in different sororities, but they all lived together their junior year was something they wanted to do after living in the sorority house, their sophomore year.

And it was like the best year of my sister's life. And they were all in different sororities. There you go. You got to get out there and make friends with everybody. It's silly to just, I think that's where the potential problems come in. I am only going to be friends

with girls of my sorority. Girl, that's not healthy. What is the most frequently asked question you receive about sorority life in the South? So ever since I started my little Instagram page, Southern Studies and Stories, I do get messages from people asking me questions because they know I was, you know, at Ole Miss. And I had a lady ping me the other day and ask me, is it realistic that my daughter has to buy all new clothes and she has to spend this much and she has to do that? And I said, Lord, no, that's awful. She's not going to have to do that. That's ridiculous. And then I had, I actually wrote a recommendation for somebody because her mama sent me a DM and said, listen, You don't know me, but I, you know, we're from the same cloth. I can tell like Southern rays, this, this, this. My daughter is going to Ole Miss, would you consider?

I said, I would. Send me her resume, send me her details, and I'll look at it for you. So I've done that, right? But I would say at this point, it's more like the question that I get is, how does she get in? Right. What do you do? Is there some sort of like secret? You can't chat should be to your way in Detroit Delta.

You know what I mean? What are the top questions girls rushing in the South should be prepared to answer? Good gravy. I don't remember anybody quizzing me during rush other than the standard stuff, right? Like, what's your major? By the way, I didn't know what in the heck I was going to do my freshman year anyway. What are you into? Who are your friends?

What do you like to do for fun? I would just say overall, you've got to be yourself. Because if you're not, if you create some sort of false image to go through, right? then you're going to end up in a sorority on a false premise and then you're going to be miserable, right? So you got to be honest or you're not going to end up with your people is what I would say. That wasn't the question you asked me. That's where I went. No, no, but you're right.

I mean, when you're rushing, I know the pressure could be high and you could feel like you kind of want to morph yourself into somebody that you're not. But then at the end of the day, you're kind of just screwing yourself because then you're not going to end up where you belong. That's exactly what I mean. Yeah. And I would just say, have fun with it. I know it's scary. I know it's stressful. I know we all cried. Lord, I did. It was exhausting, exasperating, scary, all the things. But at the end of the day, I do have really fond memories of it. And it was fun. And I would just say enjoy it. And I think you kind of know where you're supposed to be,

truly. You have a gut feeling. Well, Elise, thank you so much for coming on Dirtyy. I was so tickled to death. They all invited me. Oh, my God. No, you were amazing. Okay. And that is it for this. week's episode of Dirty Rush. Thank you so much for joining us this week. Make sure you follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Dirty Rush podcast so you don't miss new episodes, exclusive clips, and more. Love you guys. Bye. I survived nine months in captivity and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are the survivor files. Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive. Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Hayes-Davenport. And Sean Clements. We host the podcast, Hollywood Handbook. Each week, we talk to someone in show business and try to help them with their careers and see what they have to offer us. Everyone has a good time and no one gets mad at their publicists for letting them do our show. We've had a lot of great guests like Sarah Sherman, Adam Scott, Danny McBride, Ben Stillard,

and a lot of other big shots that wouldn't be where they are without us. Listen to Hollywood Handbook on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your personality, welcome home. Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island to serve the same level of discourse. Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators,

and plenty of overthought opinions. Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed. Listen to pro-society on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the new podcast, Solita, we share the messy reality of traveling alone as a woman. I can wait four hours for the next bus, or this random dude is offering me a ride on his

motorcycle. I chose option B. I'm Julie Pinero and I travel by myself because it's a rare space where I can say yes without asking anyone else first. I'm on a mission to reclaim the word Solita, trading the pity for possibility. Listen to Solita on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.