The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Dirty Rush: She said She said

Episode Date: January 17, 2026

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But I hear TCU has an intense rush. It is pretty intense. Yeah, we have 13 houses and there's so many girls. So it's really interesting. Wow. Well, listen, today I want to hear from you if you loved it or you hated it. We're talking about the whole process of it. And obviously, it could be nerve-wracking, thrilling, scary.

So we're just trying to, you know, talk to some of you guys and see differing opinions. How was it for you? How was Rush? Personally, I, like, following my sister. to my school was really interesting because one of my sisters has graduated and one is currently an active member and she's a senior and so I went in with a lot of preconceived notions about like sororities and like I knew their friends that were in their sororities or in different ones and then my sister who's currently a senior she lives with all kappa's but she's a sigma kappa so like I knew her kappa friends

and I just like knew so many people going in so it was nice to see like the type of girls that were in each but I think that like I really didn't know until I went like what I would actually think about the sororities. But I think it was nice like being able to go in with like an idea of what I was setting myself up for and what kind of girls were like it was it helped sort of dissipate the nerves a little. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Although I mean, you tell me were you nervous. I was nervous. I remember I was.

Yeah. I was totally nervous. I mean, it's a lot to live up to especially both of like my older sisters being in an esphority. and going through rush and it going pretty well for both of them. So that was interesting. But I think I was more excited than nervous because I knew that I, like, felt confident and, like, had so many resources. And, yeah, I was just more excited, I think.

Did you know, you kind of know what it was going to be like before, you know, I think some people go in blind, but it sounds like sisters, you probably knew the rundown, right? Yeah, totally. Do you have an easy time talking to people? I do have a pretty easy time talking to people. I think that knowing especially what kind of questions, like what type of questions they were going to ask and like what we were going to be talking about

and what not to mention and things like that, I think that it was like really easy and I'm a people person. So it was like just exciting to like have conversations with girls my age. Yeah, of course. So you were kind of, you were prepared. Yeah.

I think that probably does change things. You know, just kind of knowing how it's going to go, especially like what kind of questions you're going to get asked. What kind of question? Did you get asked? I mean, it's a lot of the same conversation over and over again, like going into the different houses. And especially it depends on the round, but like philanthropy was so baseline. Just like, where are you from?

What do you like to do? What's your major? Like, what building do you live in? And then like, how's moving and stuff like that? Because I did, it's fall semester rush. And so it was all very general. And then like, as it went on, just like not mentioning like, what do they say, like the three Bs or whatever and stuff like that. What are those?

It's booze. boys and Bible. And then other people say like Biden's like not politics or there's another. I can't remember. But like you just like shouldn't mention those things. But like and probably half of the conversations I had I mentioned them. Really? I won't say I'll like advise that. But I think it's like okay if you let us up a few times. Because we're all like human. It's just girls having conversations. But yeah, it was all like very similar conversations every time I'd go into like a different house. but it's just like fun talking to like girls my age about fun things. Were there any points of it, even though you, you know, you did sort of know what you were getting into,

were there any points where you were really nervous or, you know, stressed because you love the girls that you didn't expect to love or was there any of that or was it just, did you sort of, were you able to breeze through it? I wouldn't say it was like a total breeze through for me because obviously like I kind of, well, my sister is like a senior, so she's an active member. And going in, I, like, thought of her sorority, obviously, as an option. So I didn't really, like, know if that's what I, like, for sure wanted or not. But, like, going into the houses that I got back, I was most nervous about SK,

which is Cygmy Kappa, which my sister's in, because I, like, felt so under pressure. Because, like, if I didn't get it, I didn't even know if I wanted it for sure, but, like, if I didn't get it or if it didn't go well, I just felt like, oh, like, that's weird. Like, I should, like, be good in it because, like, my sister's in it. So that was a lot of pressure. Right. Some that I didn't know any about. It was really fun to go to those ones because I didn't have any, like,

expectations that I could just, like, really freely, like, say whatever. And, like, the girls were so nice. So that was fun. Like, there were some other ones that, like, some girls from my high school that are, like, older went to. So seeing them was pretty nerve-wracking. But it was really fun to, like, have familiar faces. Do you feel like you rushed?

Well, you went in, I guess, because you were definitely going to rush. There was no doubt about it. But did you ever feel? feel like maybe I didn't need to take this path or did you ever, you know, regret it or were you, did it all just feel like this is what I was supposed to do? I mean, yeah, there's like a little bit of both. I don't think that if I had older sisters, I would have been the type of person to rush. Really? Why not? I don't know. I also like with going to TCU, I don't think I would have gone there if like a bunch of people from my high school. Really? Yeah. Because we're from Nevada. It's like so

random to go to Texas from Nevada. Yeah, just like eventually like people started going a lot. And then both my sisters went and then I visited so much that I ended up loving it. But I think that if I didn't go to TCI, I would have gone to like Boulder or something more like outdoorsy or like something like that. But I mean, I'm so glad that like I have like been raw on this path and like followed my sisters because it's so much fun. And like I think that now it's like totally where I was meant to be. But I don't know if I would have like sought it out myself. And then like in terms of rush, I think I maybe would have done it, like, no matter where I went. But like, doing it out of Southern school is obviously like very different than other things. But yeah, I think

it worked out well. Yeah, I'm so glad. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyankowali. And I'm Hurricane DeVolu. It's a new year. And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real experiences and

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It is surround sound, especially if you're listening and, headphones. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and IHeart Audio Club on the IHart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Guys, so now we are bringing in Sabine. Hi, Sabine. Hi, so happy to be here. So happy to have you. Welcome. We're talking today about Rush, loved it, hated it. So I'm just going to shoot some questions at you first. I think that you rushed as a junior. Is that right? Yeah, I rushed as a junior. A bit of an unconventional experience, but seriously, like, only the highest compliments the entire process. Like, I had the most of the same time. Really? Yeah. I rushed as a junior, too. And I remember feeling I had a, I mean, I enjoyed it.

I went in there with sort of these, you know, I sort of knew where I wanted to be. I was a junior and I had friends in a certain sorority. But it was a little strange for me, just with all the freshmen. I don't know. You felt like you didn't feel any of that. So my experience was a bit different because I'm in a dual degree program. So I spent my first two years studying abroad in France. And so when I got to Berkeley, I only knew my high school best friends that had chosen to go to school in Berkeley. And I knew what sororities they were in. But I made the mental note before the process that I didn't want to join a house that my friends were in because I wanted it to be like my own unique experience. I went into it with like zero. I knew the houses they were in. And I knew kind of. the vibes of the houses, but I went into it and I was like, I'm going to take this experience as my own. I'm going to meet the girls. I'm going to feel the energy of the house. I'm going to see how the process goes and I'm going to go where my gut is. And it wasn't kind of the process. It wasn't the feeling of like, I know which one I want to be in and I'm going to do the whole recruitment

process just for that house. Right. Like I was there to kind of, I've been thinking a lot about the process in general because I've seriously gained so much from it and being in, like, I'm in DG now. and it's been the most amazing. Like, it's been like the experience that changed my time at Berkeley. Really? And is, is DG not the one that your friends from high school are in? No. So, no, no, I didn't know anyone going into it.

Okay. And I've been reflecting a lot about the process. And I think what changed it for me and what made it this much, like this just so incredible was that for me, going into recruitment and joining a sorority, could only be net positive. Like, I only was thinking about it in the sense that, like, I got to Berkeley with the most amazing best friends from France. And I felt such an amazing community already that I was like, if I'm going to join a sorority, it's only going to be awesome. Like, I'm not going to do it if it's kind of like

an in-between experience. Well, okay, so I just have to ask you because I think that is such a wonderful, positive, fabulous way, right, to enter into this crazy experience. Are you like that all over the place in real life? I really try to be. Yeah. Yeah. For context. So my sister was in a sorority. She went to Purdue University and she was in FIMEU. And she also had that experience. So she went through recruitment during COVID. So she did all of her recruitment on Zoom. She ended up in a house that fit her like a glove, met the most amazing people.

And like I always saw, I saw her experience in her four years in college. And I was like, I want that. But then I went to France, which had nothing close to a sorority. Of course. Had a bunch of international students who knew nothing about sorority life. And I've always had this feeling in me. Like I was class president in high school. I've always had this sense of like

I know that if I went to a traditional US university for four years I probably would have done the full like exec sorority experience and have been really involved just because that's that's a space where I feel the most myself kind of like a leadership position with a bunch of really positive girls who are happy to be there and want to be a part of this experience and like love just like because you're not enough sorority if you don't want to be in it

you know what I mean? It's like you're paying the dues and you're showing up to the house and you're going to chapter and if you don't want to be in it, then that really shows. And so I was like, I think I could so see myself in a space in which I'm surrounded by people who all want to be there and all want to be a part of it. And so I think I definitely try and carry that through other parts of my life and do things that feel like they just click for me. And so I went into the experience being like, if this doesn't work on day one, I'll just drop. And then day one, I was like, this is awesome. Like, this is so fun. Like, I'm just chatting with people. Like, everyone's

happy to be here. Like, it was, it was seriously a week that was just fun. Like, it was just super fun. I mean, listen, because we're bringing in, um, girls that did not love the process as well. So we're talking to a mix. But I think what is, what is resonating with me is what you said about you knew going in that it was going to be good, right? Like you have, and I'm sure, you know, that kind of power positive thinking carries over in all different aspects of your life. But, you know, for our listeners, I don't know. I mean, I, I, I think that that probably made a huge difference. I don't know how to tell people to get in that mindset, right? But if you're going in saying it's going to be good, period, that it can't sort of not be maybe, I don't know.

Right. I think that in a way for me, like, it was definitely a mindset switch because I knew even as a sophomore when I was in France that when I got to Cal that I would want to join a sorority. So I kind of already had it in the back of my mind. And so I went into the summer before junior year being like, this is going to be really like in my head I was like this is going to be weird like it's going to be weird to be a 20 year old with a bunch of 17 year olds going into recruitment with people who have just moved out of their house and like their hometowns and you know I had all that craziness as a freshman and I was in my head I'm like if I was a freshman like I was I was really thinking back to my time and I was like if I was a freshman in France and I had to go and do recruitment I don't know I

I didn't feel like myself at that time because I had just moved out of my house. I had just moved like thousands and thousands of miles away from my parents and everything that I had known. And I feel like if I had gone into that experience and tried to do recruitment in that mindset, like in that version of me, I don't think I would have ended up in the most perfect place that I'm in now, if that makes sense. It does make sense. And I think, you know, for our listeners, either sometimes Rush doesn't go well and maybe they want to try again as a sophomore or a junior or for kids or, you know, girls that are transferring. And what you're describing right now, I think, is super interesting and insightful because, you know, you could kind of go two ways, right? Like I was sort of like as a junior, huh, like I feel kind of silly with all these freshmen.

But what you just said, I wouldn't have been the same person freshman year. Right, right. And so in terms of my own just self-confidence, just sort of growing into myself, I had definitely had more of that as a junior. So just an interesting point for listeners who are thinking about maybe. not rushing freshman year rushing after that. Yeah. I think I needed the time because I think when I think about like just like my life in general, I think freshman year is the time that I grew the most like in a span of time because obviously it's so crazy to move abroad. That's like the most insane like uproot of everything

you've ever known. But then you're also kind of being forced to live alone and you're taking really hard classes and you're by yourself. Like I didn't know anyone when I moved to abroad. I didn't even speak French. So like. a lot of really crazy, just like super crazy life experiences that over the span of the year, when I got back the summer after my freshman year, I was like, I feel different. Like, I could actively feel that I, like, had grown and had experienced things that I never would have realized. And I think that is, like, one of my biggest pieces of advice is if you think you like the idea of being in a sorority and you like the concept of, like, what it has to offer

in that sense of, like, community and sisterhood, but you don't feel like when you get to school you yourself. Like, it seriously doesn't do any harm to join as a sophomore or to try it later or to do, like, some schools offer spring recruitment or COB and do the whole like, kind of get yourself some time to settle in and to start to feel like yourself again. Because those first couple weeks, at least for me, and I can confidently say for a lot of my friends, were so unnerving and like unsettling because you just didn't, you were in a space that you didn't recognize. And so to do all that and to feel that way and then to also have to like basically elevate elevator pitch yourself to girls for a week straight is very weird.

I would think so. I mean, especially coming from, you know, being abroad. And I, so I picture sort of, you know, abroad is so being, it's so worldly, right? You're in, you said you didn't speak the language and you are just being exposed to this culture. And then you're all of a sudden becoming a sorority girl. And I, whatever that means, right? And I would think that that would be a huge, pivot, but you know, interestingly enough, the way you're describing it, it worked for you. Right. Like if you think of, oh, I'm going to, I don't know, was it Paris? I don't know where you were. I was right outside of Paris. Yeah. Okay. So you go to Paris for two years. You learn to speak the language. You're around Parisians. And now all of a sudden, you're a sorority girl. Right. Like what, and I think

that's so cool that that, that, that, the way that that worked for you. Yeah. I think that, like as a mom, I remember really trying to convince both my kids, but particularly my daughter, to take a gap year because I just think that it's an opportunity to sort of grow and grow into who you are and maybe become a little more self-competent and self-aware. She didn't. He didn't. But I think that it, for anybody maybe considering waiting a year, I agree with you. I think it's, it can be a, no, sort of fabulous way to just, not be bombarded when you start school, right? Yeah.

And I think I've definitely, there's this sense of when I think about my time in DG, I have this sense of like big sister feeling, which has been like I'm an older sister. So I've always grown up being the younger sister. And I very much like have all the traits of a younger sister. And then I joined DG and I'm best friends with girls that are two years younger than me. like I got into a friend group of a bunch of freshmen as a junior and I started to feel this sense of like purpose by joining.

It's kind of weird. Like I joined a sorority and you'd expect that it's like the stereotypes of like sorority girl and like parties and all this stuff. But then you join it and you're like, no, like I feel like very like maternal over like girls that are younger than me. And I feel this sense of like I have so much that I want to tell you and wisdom and all this stuff that I never have. I've had a space to give because I've always been the younger sister. Right. And I like join a house of girls that I'm like, I care so much about you guys and want you guys to have the best college experience. And so I want to like give you all this advice of things that I've been learning over my time. I felt like that too. That's so interesting because I definitely, you know, brushed as a junior.

And then even I live in the house as a senior. So, you know, I'm a senior and they're all sophomores. Yeah. And there was absolutely a difference in a good way because I loved the whole pledge class. But that's so interesting. Yeah. And I think, I don't know, the big sort of the big point I'm getting out of like just talking to you and if we can convey this is that you don't have to do it as a freshman. And maybe even better, right?

Yeah. You kind of see this portrayal of sorority life through like movies and Instagram and stories you hear from older sisters. and aunts and moms about like your time in a sorority and how it completely changes your life and you meet your bridesmaids. And I think I had this perception in my head that those are all things that happen when you're a freshman. Like you meet your forever friends when you're a freshman. Right. And then I show up at Cal as a junior. And if you had told me three years ago that I'd still be making best friends like my junior and senior year of college with girls than me, that I wouldn't believed you because in your head you think like oh you meet your friends like right when you get

to college and those are the people you stick with but like for me and I've said this phrase to people before because I always get the like oh you're in a sorority like especially for my friends in France like that's what I was saying yeah right they're like oh you're a sorority girl and I'm like being in a sorority to me is the gift that keeps on giving like that's the phrase I use because like you meet people and you become friends with people and it's amazing and then you're like I can already see myself like when I graduate in May I've already been meeting DG alum who are like, oh my God, like I want to chat. Like how is your time?

Like everyone, it's like seriously a community. Yeah. You feel that sense of like everyone was happy to be a part of it and everyone's happy to continue to give back to it. And we have moms who come in and come to our chapter meetings and talk to us and like share their experiences and talk about their jobs and like help us with like networking like events and things like that. Like there's so much to offer that it's not just that thing.

you do as a freshman to make friends. It's like you can do it whenever it works for you and you still feel that like amazing return. Like there's all there's so much that keeps on being given to you, I guess. Yeah, I love everything about that. And just because I'm a negative human, is there anything about it that you didn't like? Not really, but I was trying to think about that. I was, I've been thinking honestly, this is going to sound really dumb. The only thing that I would say is a negative is the out-of-body experience you have when you're a junior and you step into a frat. Like, I would go to initially when I joined that first semester, I would go to events with the girls in my PC who are all freshmen because like it's a bonding thing and it's fun.

And like your chapter president kind of tells you it's required to like go to these social events. And I show up and I'm like, I feel old. Like I feel weird than I'm like out of frat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like 2021 and I'm like, I shouldn't, like, it's kind of the sense of like a target audience. Like I am not the target audience for this type of event. And that's completely fine.

And it's, I can, it's fun because I'm with like, my, like, my best friends and we're having fun, whatever. But I'd say that's the only thing that like has never, it never got like easier. I get that. I never like going into the frat houses, period. So, but wait, but in terms of rush, though, is there anything, just that, that process. Honestly, like the recruitment process for me, I think. the only thing that felt weird was like, I really try to live my life in like a very honest, authentic way. And I felt guilty and almost kind of like, it's a weird feeling to go to

houses that you know right off the bat you just don't click with. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like, there's absolutely nothing wrong with being, because I, I'm really lucky. I was, I went through the recruitment process and then this past fall I was a part of the recruitment process. So I was on the other side of it. It was really interesting to see, like, there are certain houses you just don't click with. And on one end of it, when you're going through recruitment, you kind of feel like you need to fake it and you kind of feel like you need to still, like, give them your best and give them your all because you don't want to be rude. You don't want to, like, act like you don't care. But then on the other end of it, when you are recruiting,

it's really heart-wrenching to see girls that you know are amazing and would be friends with any day of the week and are awesome. But it's almost like you kind of need to make these, like, judgment calls of like, are they the best fit for us? But also, are we the best fit for them? Like, can we, do, would they love our house as much as we think they might love this house? And so it's kind of like, that was always the weirdest part for me on both ends of it was like the mind, not mind games, that sounds like dramatic, but like the behind the scenes of like. No, I get it. Believe me.

Yeah. Yeah, because you're, you are sort of weeding people out and weeding people in and it's a, it's a strange thing. What did you enjoy more being on which side of it? Definitely going through. recruitment. Yeah. Like being the, because I love, I love to chat. I love, like, I love a, I love a, like, random stranger interaction. I love an elevator pitch. Like, I, it's kind of just my thing. I'm very extracurated and I enjoy it. So, right. I almost, I actually had a Snapchat story during the whole week of recruitment that I added some of my, like, hometown friends and my friends on. And I, like,

would post little, like, outfit checks. Like, this is what I'm wearing today. This is what the round is. And then after each house, I would like take a picture and be like, oh my gosh, had the best conversation about this, like love, just also to help me remember everything. Right. But I remember doing that and being like, honestly, this is like really good practice for like awkward conversations that you. Yeah, I was like, this is good like interview network, like, awkward practice. And so I kind of interpreted the whole week, especially coming into it as a junior. I was like, this is good just like life experience.

Like I'm not seeing this as like the end-l-be-all because I'm already. feeling so good in myself as a junior in college and in the friends that I have, that it wasn't everything to me, which I almost think that's also maybe a bit of advice. I almost think that maybe taking some of the pressure off that like, it'll work out. It always does. And people say that and you think it's a joke and you think it's cliche, but it really, really does. Like, it always finds a way to work itself out. You might not end up in the house that you thought you were going to be in, but you will find

your people regardless. You might not even end up in a house at all. And you will go a different route in college, or you'll start. still be friends with girls and sororities, but you just won't be a part of it. Like, it will always work itself out. And I think when I was going through the recruitment process as a junior, I just felt that sense of like, I'm going to take from this what I can get. And I'm not going to stress about all the other things. Like, it's just, like, I was like, it's just going to be fun. Like, it's just going to be practiced.

I'm Dr. Priyankowali. And I'm Hurricane de Bolu. It's a new year. And on the podcast's health stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and to start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about.

Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us, affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy. We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the

Mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere, make the same resolutions, get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken? But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years' experience helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught the name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others.

Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy as in compassion. If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to the mailroom on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, But it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there hidden in plain sight.

So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer, the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone, it's Ed Helms.

And I'm Cal Penn, and we are the hosts of Ear, say, the Audible and I Heart audiobook club. This week on the podcast, I am talking to film and TV critic, radio and podcast host and Harry Potter superfan Rihanna Dylan to discuss

Audible's full cast adaptation of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone. What moments in this audiobook capture the feeling of the magical world best for you, or just stood out the most? I always loved reading about the

Quidditch matches and I think the audio really gets it because it just plunges you right into the stands. You have the crowd sounds like all around you. It is surround sound, especially if you're listening in headphones. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and IHeart Audio Book Club on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. You guys, so now we are bringing in Grace. Hi, Grace. Hi, how are you? How are you? Good. How are you doing? Good. We're talking about Rush, the good, the bad, the ugly. And I believe from my little notes here that you actually were not a huge fan of the rush process. I was not. I have kind of mixed feelings. Right. So I, my freshman year of college was 20-20. So obviously when I was rushing, it was very different than other people's

experience because we did it all online. It was via Zoom. And I just feel like it's harder to connect people that way and especially when you're making such a big decision on a house, it's hard to not be in that environment and get to interact with people face to face. I feel like that kind of threw a wrench in my experience initially and going through Zoom recruitment. It didn't end up going very well for me. I got dropped by a lot of the houses and I took it all very personally because I did care about it a lot and I really wanted to get into, especially at the time, like what I considered a top house. I cared so much about that freshman year. What is it called? What are they called top tier? They did call it that one I went, but top tier. Yeah, like top house or up tier house. Yeah.

And I feel like after it not going well the first time and having kind of a year of distance from it, I initially thought I would never do it again. But I did end up deciding to go. go through with Rush again, sophomore year after not going in the first time. And I will say I had a much better experience the second time because we got to do it in person. I felt like I got a more cohesive vibe of each of the houses. And I'd already made some friends in each one, which made it really a better experience. Just having connections, I think is so important when it comes to rush. And so I think the second time doing it redeemed itself a little bit. But I don't know, the whole thing for me, it just felt very judgmental. And you kind of feel like this spotlight

is put on you. And I don't know, it was an interesting experience. Can you do you have any, do any like specific memories of it where, you know, you just felt like you were being judged or, Yeah, I feel like I can think of two examples. One, I don't know how it works at other schools, but at the school that I was at the first round of recruitment, you actually don't talk to the girls at all. You submit a slide with a picture or a couple pictures of you and then you answer these three questions. And all the girls in the sororities go through these slides. And then the first round of recruitment is them going through the slides and picking girls that they want. back based on those and then from a potential new members perspective you watch a video of each sorority and you kind of rank them based on the vibe of the video and like where you think you might fit in best and I feel like because they did it that way it feels very impersonal and like they're just looking at a picture of you and kind of ruling you out and you can't get a feel for the person really at all. Yeah. I think that sounds hideous, if I'm being honest. Like, it's like, okay, we're judging

you on your looks. Go. Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, you know that these girls are using Instagram and TikTok and social media to kind of stalk people beforehand, too. And so I think for me, what made me feel really judged off the bat was like almost like how impersonal the first round was. And that's your first impression, you know. And if you can't redeem some of the houses you wanted. Yeah, I got dropped by a lot of especially the first time that I rushed. And honestly, the second time that I rushed, I got more, I dropped by more than I expected to as well. And I think it's hard when you can't make your own first impression.

It feels like you're just ruling people out too early. I think it's so interesting also just talking to you and looking at you and you're clearly, you're pretty and you're clearly sweet and smart and all of that, right? Thank you. But I'm sure it does take a toll. You're putting your picture out there and somebody saying, no, I don't want you, which is, you know, hard for me to imagine looking at you. But it happens to everyone. Totally. It's hard not to take personal, especially it's such a pivotal time in your life where you're coming into this new environment. You're probably moving states or moving out of your home for the first time. I think you're more likely to take things personal. And I know that that's kind of where I was at when I was 18 years old. So I think that that first round, just the way that they did it at my school, to me felt a little bit more judgmental. And then I feel like within rush and stuff,

you know, your conversations can go a million different ways. And the house that I ended up in, I had great conversations with and I didn't feel judged for a second. But some people like to ask more invasive questions about boys or parties and stuff like that. And those kind of conversations, I feel like lines can get blurred and people can misinterpret things. And it feels... You have an example? There was one house that I talked to, and this was when I rushed sophomore year the second time. And they were like, so how many boys have you hooked up with since you've been at school? Wow.

And I was like, first of all, what kind of question is that? And second of all? Yeah. What are you going to take from that? Not really illegal. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Like what about that adds value to me or something like that, you know?

It's weird. Yeah. We had a guess before you who said. said that there were three Bs that she couldn't talk about during what she was boys, the Bible and maybe booze or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but they ask those questions anyways.

And I feel like it's always those kind of questions that make you feel like, oh, is this somewhere I want to pee if they're judging me based off of these things, you know? I mean, what are you supposed to say? Oh, my God, I have been with so many boys. I can't even keep track or like, no, I'm never. What do you want me to say exactly? Exactly. It's hard because I feel like you can't really give a right answer to that question.

Right. Right, right. Because judgment can be placed either way. Do you feel like after, you know, you got rejected from the first round or whatever did your mood change? Like, was it harder for you then? Like, I just know sometimes in life, right? If we get rejected, it sets a tone.

Like if you're having an experience like this, right? And it doesn't go well at the beginning. It can set a tone for the rest of it. And you could feel more nervous, more insecure. Do you feel like that's what happened? Yeah, I do feel like that's kind of what happened. I remember freshman year when I rushed, that kind of did set the tone for me. I got dropped by a lot of houses initially and I was like, oh, wow, already my expectations have not been met. I'm really thrown for a loop. I'm taking it

personal. And I feel like that kind of snowballed into maybe my attitude throughout the rest of rush, which in turn ended up being a huge life lesson for me when I redid Rush sophomore year. And I feel like that time, maybe what pushed me through to the end or what made me more successful in it was the fact that I kind of realized like, okay, maybe people will count me out in the beginning. But that doesn't mean that I can't redeem myself in the conversations that I have later on or keep an open mind to houses that maybe I didn't expect having great connections with and stuff like that. So I feel like, to your point, yeah, I definitely feel like that could have been maybe a downfall for me the first time I went through rush and somewhere where I was actually able to redeem myself the second time. Right, right. And what advice would you give to our listeners who have had a similar experience? They didn't get in, you know, to be able to not only do it, but also sort of maybe even enjoy the rush process, the second time around. I think that the second time around, it's almost like you really have nothing to lose.

You know, you're going into this again. You've already created a life for yourself at school where you are a little more settled with your friends, hopefully, or a little more settled in a new city or whatever the case may be. And so it's like if you've already built ground for yourself and gotten through freshman year maybe without having been in a sorority, I think it's just realizing like, okay, I feel secure in what I've built beforehand. I'm going into this and if it goes well, awesome. But if it doesn't, I know that I'm going to be able to recover. So I'd say like give yourself credit for what you've already been through

because it is kind of hard to feel like you're on the outside of something if you didn't get into a sorority freshman year. And I think that it's all about just like being grateful for what you do have and keeping in mind that it's not a huge loss if it doesn't go well, but it could be a great addition if it does go right. I love that. Thanks. Well, so the house that you're in, when you got into, was that a house that you expected or you wanted to get into? Or was, did that, you know, part, like the first time around, the set versus the second time around? I remember really liking this house the first time around, and I was kind of shocked that I got dropped by them.

So they were definitely on my radar when I went back sophomore year. although a lot of my friends were in different houses. So I was like, do I want to do what my friends want to do or what I maybe want to join this house that I don't have as many friends in, but I remember really liking. And yeah, I ended up just kind of having the best conversations there. And it definitely was like one that was towards the top of my list. So I was really happy to get it. And I feel like I was really happy to then make more connections within it.

And the girls were great. and it ended up being a really, really fun time. Is there any, my last question, do you think there's anything you could suggest that would make Rush a better experience? You know, it's interesting, obviously, you know, doing it the way you did, submitting pictures freshman year, I'm thinking you would say that's not a good idea.

Yeah. I wouldn't suggest that. But anything else, any twists or things that you think could make it a better process? I feel like kind of what I was talking about earlier, attitude and perspective is everything. If you're someone who's going in to rush, it's just really important, I think, mostly to keep an open mind. Because, yeah, and I think I would also recommend not really talking to other people about it. I think maybe freshman year where I got so in my head about it was we're on these Zooms.

It's COVID. My roommate is sitting next to me on Zooms, and it's all going really well for her. and then we're spending hours talking about it after. And everyone in my dorm is like, what house do you think you're getting into? What this, what that? And I think just being mindful of cancelling out some of that noise and maybe not asking all the questions to other people

or not giving away too much information to other people and just keeping it more of a personal experience, I feel like that would have been kind of helpful for me because at the end of the day, it is your decision. And you never want other people's opinions or judgment to cloud Jerome. Okay, I think that is great advice. I think actually I'm thrilled that that's what you are offering to our listeners.

I think that it sounds to me as an older person, like that's going to be something really helpful that our listeners can actually use. Yeah, I hope so. Hi, I'm Dr. Priyong Kowali. And I'm Hurricane de Bolo. It's a new year. And on the podcast Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health. Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how much

It can all be. I like to sleep in late and sleep early. Is there a chronotype for that or am I just depressed? We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight. You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and to start doing that. We break down the topics you want to know more about. Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health. We talk about all the ways to keep your body in mind, inside and out, healthy.

We human beings, all we want is connection. We just want to connect with each other. Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the Mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all?

To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years' experience, helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught to name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got stuff. something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy as in compassion. If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding

what's underneath, listen to the mailroom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. A decade ago, I was on the trail of one of the country's most elusive serial killers, but it wasn't until 2023 when he was finally caught. The answers were there, hidden in plain sight. So why did it take so long to catch him? I'm Josh Zeman, and this is Monster, hunting the Long Island serial killer,

the investigation into the most notorious killer in New York, since the son of Sam, available now. Listen for free on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone, it's Ed Helms. And I'm Cal Penn, and we are the hosts of Earsay, the Audible and IHeart Audio Book Club. This week on the podcast, I am talking to film,

film and TV critic, radio and podcast host, and Harry Potter superfan, Rihanna Dillon, to discuss Audible's full cast adaptation of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone. What moments in this audiobook capture the feeling of the magical world best for you, or just stood out the most? I always loved reading about the Quidditch matches, and I think the audio really gets it because it just plunges you right into the stands. You have the crowd sounds, like all around you. It is surround sound, especially if you're listening in headphones.

Listen to Earsay, the Audible and IHeart Audio Book Club on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Guys, so now we have Molly. Hi, Molly. Thank you so much for coming on. Yeah. Yeah, we're talking about Rush. And we've had callers that have loved it and callers that have hated it. And this must be about me somehow that I want to talk more to the ones that hated it,

than the ones that loved it. I don't know why. I feel that way. But I just think it's, first all, it's a very hard thing. And I think talking about that is going to help a lot of our listeners because I think that, you know, people have all kinds of experiences. And I think especially talking to people like you who didn't like Rush and still ended up in a sorority.

So tell me a little bit about your experience. How did it go? And why wasn't it the best? Yeah. So I didn't love it. I actually really didn't like it because I felt like they were trying to have me be a certain way, talk a certain way. And it also was kind of, it felt degrading the way that they chose who was going to talk the most, who was going to be on the floor. or it was very clear the system that they were doing,

whether it was looks or it was, I don't know, like they just, they wanted to put like the certain people forward. And it was kind of degrading. It wasn't a fair, wasn't a fair representation of the entire group. So that I didn't love But yeah

Mostly I would say it was They wanted us to use a specific dialogue And I love to talk to people I love to get to know people And I know that people enjoy Me as well So I was excited to do this at first We couldn't discuss a lot of the topics

That would be fun to talk about Which I can understand to an extent, but it definitely felt like they were trying to put something forward that wasn't specific to the individual. In my experience, we weren't allowed to talk about boys, booze, and Right, the bees. The bees, and I can't remember the third B, but it was. Bible? Maybe, yeah. Okay. That could be it. And like, I didn't need to talk about boys or booze or anything,

but that's one, for example, that we weren't allowed. to, but it definitely made it uncomfortable when they would bring it up and we had to like redirect the conversation. It was just a very forced discussion and it just made it feel very unnatural. And then I'm stressed. The other women are stressed. And everyone's kind of putting on a face or putting on a show and it just becomes like inauthentic versus like the, versus like the fraternities. it's just a lot more laid back, and I think it shows who the boys are. More than the rush process with stories, right? Yeah.

So I just want to make sure I have it, I understand. So they would tell you, don't talk about boys, and then you would have these girls bringing up boys, and you had it. Like, did they know that they were doing that to you? Is it purposeful that they were trying to see how you could evade a question? or you don't even know, maybe you don't know. I think they would forget because I do know that they have the same rules. So they're not supposed to bring it up, but I think they would maybe forget or maybe they would try and show that they're,

oh, whoops, I didn't know, but I do like to party or like they would want to say something. Right. And I do know that some of the sororities would not, completely follow the rules. And then I think that was like a good look or, but not a good look for. So complicated, right? It's like, it's just kind of ridiculous. Yeah. It could just be so, I know it, it, it, and we're talking to, um, you know, quite a number of you guys today and, and a lot of people that really just loved every single minute of it. And then those that didn't. And I can kind of, you know, relate to both. Because it's very hard to be your authentic.

self in these situations, right? When you're trying to please people and you're trying to put forth your best self, not even knowing what that really is, would you have any advice for our listeners that either, well, you know, some of our listeners, they've already, they're in now or they're going to go through spring or like any advice for girls that are hating it and feeling all of these ways about it? And, you know, is there anything you could suggest that could help? Um, I mean, I would say to be yourself. I know like everyone says that, but I really mean it. Like, you just want to put yourself forward and show who you are and the right sorority who sees the value in you will come, but it's also at the same time, the system is so messed up that even if you are

showing your best self, you never know like what the qualifications are that they need. Like maybe your grades aren't it, or if you're in a sport and they don't want, they don't want people in a sport or, I don't know. Like, there's a lot of things that will get you denied and it has nothing to do with you or like your personality or whatever. So I would definitely say do not take it personal whatsoever because it's literally the weirdest system ever. So that's kind of my advice, I guess. I mean, I think it's so great because we're having, again, we're having these girls on here. that loved it. And I think that that's helpful for our listeners because they can get excited about the process.

And, you know, also just some, some girls like you that are very honest and real about it and say it wasn't the best. But in the end, I'm glad I did it, you know, so we can kind of help maybe set expectations here. And I know it's true. It's like that's advice for, at my age, you know, that's, I get the advice just, be yourself. I don't even know at your age, I didn't know who myself was. So that was not an easy thing, right? And now it's like the buzzwords are all about, it's all, you know, be authentic. And at again, now at age 57, I'm way more aware of who I am and it's way easier for me to be authentically, Jennifer. But I think that's probably hard for a lot of people, you know,

at 18. And but just as opposed to, I mean, I just remember. I remember wanting everyone to like me so badly. And it didn't matter if I knew I wasn't going to even be in the house. Like I don't, this is not the house for me. I still, it was so much pressure pressure to try to impress everyone. Totally. Yeah. And so, I mean, that aspect of it can be really difficult.

So. I do think about like, I totally understand that. We're like you don't really know who you are. But I think when I say be yourself, it's like in that moment because I, I, feel like I feel like the way to be authentic is just to kind of be vulnerable and like say yes and in that because I feel like each week I'm in a different place each week literally so like if I'm just vulnerable about what I'm feeling in my experience when this happened or what's the question like I don't know who I am but like that's what I'm feeling and this is

That's like the truth of what's going on with you. So I tell that to my daughter, and I've learned that. I'm so impressed that you know this about yourself because being vulnerable now, after all, you know, after going through college and life and marriage and kids, and I connect with people most when I'm being vulnerable, honest and vulnerable. And I have found, again, sort of off topic, so excuse me, but if. If I had to, you know, impart any advice to someone your age, and I'm not saying go in and on a first meeting and tell everyone your deepest darkest necessarily, but be comfortable being vulnerable.

You know, I don't know, I'm really, this whole thing is a lot for me. I am kind of a shy person or whatever it is and not just during rush, right, but to be open because people will almost always, at least that's in my experience, then be vulnerable, vulnerable with you. Exactly. it's a great way to connect. So we're solving all the world's problems here. Seriously.

Right? Everyone needs to tune into this and you'll feel that. Yes, please. Yes, please. I loved having you. I'm sorry you didn't love Rush, but it sounds like you did love being in a sorority. Absolutely.

And you're doing your thing now. Yes. It all works out. Okay, love you. Hey, everyone. It's Ed Helms. And I'm Cal Penn and we are the hosts of Earsay, the Audible and I-Heart Aller.

This week on the podcast, I am talking to film and TV critic, radio and podcast host and Harry Potter superfan Rihanna Dillon to discuss Audible's full cast adaptation of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone. What moments in this audiobook capture the feeling of the magical world best for you, or just stood out the most? I always loved reading about the Quidditch matches. And I think the audio really gets it because it just plunges you right into the stands. You have the crowd sounds like all around you.

It is surround sound, especially if you're listening in headphones. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and IHeart Audio Book Club on the IHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Whether it is getting swatted or just hateful messages online, there is a lot of harm and even just reading the comments. that's cybersecurity expert Camille Stewart Gloucester on the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Every season is a chance to grow. And the Therapy for Black Girls podcast is here to walk with you. I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford.

And each week we dive into real conversations that help you move with more clarity and confidence. This episode, we're breaking down what really happens to your information online and how to protect yourself with intention. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. You know Roald Doll. He thought up Willie Wonka and the BFG. But did you know he was a spy? In the new podcast, The Secret World of Roll Doll,

I'll tell you that story, and much, much more. What? You probably won't believe it either. Was this before he wrote his stories? It must have been. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you. I was a spy.

Listen to The Secret World of Roll Doll on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I actually drop better when I'm high. It heightens my senses, calms me down. If anything, I'm more careful. Honestly, it just helps me focus. That's probably what the driver who killed a four-year-old told himself.

And now he's in prison. You see, no matter what you tell yourself, if you feel different, you drive different. So if you're high, just don't drive. brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council This is an IHeart podcast Guaranteed Human