The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Finding Unconventional Love with 90 Day Fiancé's Marissa Rubinetti

Episode Date: June 27, 2026

Not having luck finding love in chapter two? Ever thought about looking in another country?? Amy and TJ chat with 90 Day Fiancés Marissa to hear how she went from divorced to finding love in the Dominican Republic with Edward! We’re unpacking how difficult it was for her ex-husband to accept, how she had to block out the skeptics, and what adjusting to an age gap relationship has been like. Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Wow, that's the first time you've ever introduced me like that. Really? Yeah, I liked it. Oh, you did? I liked it a little. Biance. All right. We can say it for a little while longer.

Not too much longer. All right. Will you stop dropping little hints about people already got one wedding they're speculating about. Don't have them speculating about all this too. All right. All right. So this is the podcast where we get to talk to people who have all different types of love stories. And they're not the conventional ones.

And if you did it right the first time, you like to say, This is not the show for you. Exactly. So today we get to connect with Marissa Rubinetti from this season's 90-day fiancé. We've been binging it. We've all caught up to this point, but we have a lot of questions for Marissa. This is one of our absolute favorite television shows. It's all about finding love in, yes, unconventional ways going out of this country to find the love of your life.

And so, Marissa, welcome. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. All right. So we have a lot to talk about with you. This is I do part two. So, yes, everyone on the show, including your hosts, have been divorced. Present party included.

Yes. So we actually got to meet your ex-husband on the show, Michael. Tell us about your part one. What happened with that marriage? How long were you married? How long have you been divorced? Just give us kind of an idea of what happened with that relationship. Sure.

Yeah. My ex-husband and I met online, you know, typical dating story, meet online. And, you know, we jumped into a relationship quite quickly and then we moved in together also quickly. We got married within three years of dating. and then we were married for six and a half years. Amongst that time, we had two children. We have two boys.

And I'm not going to lie to you. The marriage was a bit tumultuous. It was a tough marriage. I don't like to really talk too negatively about Michael, but we butted heads. We were just not a good fit to be a couple. I think we work better as parents individually, but it just didn't work out. And I felt very alone in the marriage,

and I felt very almost depressed. and it was just, you know, there was one incident where things just got completely out of control. And then I decided, you know what, I have to get out of this marriage. It's not really serving me anymore. It's making me miserable. And it's time to move on. It really was one incident that it snapped for you. I think it's a series of incidents. But then there was one major, yeah, like a series of things that just like keep building and building and building animosity.

Can I ask you said something. You all met online. Yeah. And now here we are talking to you about a 90-day fiancé. Are you just an unconventional dater generally? No, I love to meet people in person. In fact, I mean, I met Edward in person. We didn't meet online.

You know, some of the before the night day folks, they meet online. But Edward and I met in person. But, yeah, I actually like to go on conventional dating. That's funny. It's just funny that my ex-husband and I met on Match.com. And we appreciate, I think everyone listening appreciates you talking about what happened. because, look, people always want to have some big story, but sometimes you're just not the right fit. And it does take a tremendous amount of courage, or it takes maybe that final moment where you

have the courage to walk away and say, this is going to be healthier, not only for me, but for my children. Exactly. And the kids were very young, too, and it was hard. I was really scared because, you know, being a single mother of two young boys is a lot of work. I was full time working in a corporate office. So it was really scary, but I feel like I really made the right decision because you're right, it just wasn't healthy for anybody. So how long were you divorced before you met Edward? I was divorced for not too long, actually. And he and I met the first time. A lot of people don't know this, is that I went on a girls trip very soon after I got divorced.

Met Edward. Makes sense. A lot of people do that. Girls trip. Yes. Girls trip, I'm going out. Yes. And I met Edward. He was working at the hotel that the girls and I stayed in. He was working at the karaoke bar that night. You know, we had a connection, but nothing happened. We didn't even kiss. Like, a lot of people think I go on vacation. I have a one-night stand. It's a vacation romance. That didn't happen. Believe it or not. The other really funny thing is that, like, after I left Punta Kana that first time, we didn't speak for about five years. Oh, wow. Maybe it wasn't five. Maybe it was like four. or something like that. So we didn't speak for a long time.

Did we know this? I didn't know this. Not a lot of people met. It's really funny. I know. I may be getting the years wrong, but like it was a long time. I would say it was like at least three years. I mean, even just a year later is a long time.

Yeah. Several years later. Several years. And COVID happened. You know, the world kind of shut down. Did you stay in touch? Did you exchange numbers? So when I first met him, the first time I left, we stayed in touch for maybe a few months.

But then I was like, this is a young guy. He's in Punta Kana. Like, what am I going to do with him? Like, I'm a single mom. Like, I have to focus on the kids. And nothing happened. And but I, you know what? The thing is, I kept his number. And I always remember him because in that moment when we had a connection, it's like I felt alive again. You know, I came out of a really tough marriage. I felt worthless as a woman, you know, undesired, not pretty. And he made me feel special. So I always say to him, it's like, you don't realize that. You don't realize that. that feeling that you evoked inside of me, like, I never forgot it. So years later, jumped to 2023. I book another trip to Punta Kana with the girls. And I was like, I still had his number and I texted him. I'm like, oh la. And, you know, I was like, you know, I'm calling to Punta Kana. And he lost his mind because apparently he lost my number.

He never had my last name. He's been searching for me for years on Marissa from Pennsylvania. you on Facebook and like obviously that's impossible to find somebody and he just was like I thought I'd never speak to you ever again and like this is crazy he facetime me immediately just to make sure that it was actually me and yeah so then we plan to like meet again reunite for the first time in several years when I went back to Puantana. That is so cool. The connection you talk about at the karaoke bar the first time around. That's a value to folks who are listening who are just getting out of a relationship or something and are you just on vacation or it's a quick thing?

What is it that made that a different type of connection that was worthy of you at that time paying attention to? You know, it was my first time out as a newly single woman. I wasn't really in the market for looking, you know, for a new guy. And there was something about him, the way that our eyes connected, the way that he just made me feel like I was like on a pedestal. He just really like, we just had a connection. It's very hard to explain, like, the tangible aspect of a connection. Say what you remember how they make you feel. That's exactly right.

Yeah. And he made me feel really special and he made me feel like alive. Like, wow, I, you know, can still be desired by a man. Now, what was your dating life like after you left that time? I mean, you didn't talk to him and the years went by. I mean, what was dating like? I mean, on and off, I'd meet some people, like we date for a few months. But there was never somebody that was the right one.

You know, it was, you know, a lot of guys are non-committal. We get a bad rap about that sometimes, yes. Yeah. I mean, some women around non-committal, too. But, you know, the men that I kept finding were non-committal or not serious, not ready to, like, be in a adult relationship. So, you know, I just kind of like was doing my own thing. I'm curious. Obviously, you work in the bridal industry, right?

You're still at Kleinfeld, which is the storied famous. I'm not, actually. You're not anymore. We can get to that later. I'm learning so much. But at least you were in that field. So weddings, brides, all of that is all around you. Did you want to get married again?

No. That's a great question. No. I always said never again. I will never get married again. Absolutely not. I will date. I will be in a relationship,

but I'm never going through with another marriage. And it's shocking to me sometimes that I, you know, even considered getting married again or getting engaged. But why did you make that? declaration? Because the marriage was really tough. It was that bad. Marriage is hard. The divorce was tough. The divorce was tough. And then I have two little boys and bringing another man into my life. And, you know, I think that sometimes divorces scar you and you have this idea like, I don't ever want to go to do this again. You know, I'll date. I'll have fun. I'll live my life. But like to be in a legal marriage

with somebody is not something that was ever going to be on my radar again. And yet, walk in edward so you go back to punta canna to the dominican republic and there's a reunion what was that like oh my god it was crazy um so i was with my girlfriend edron and i decided to meet it was a friday night and guess where we went a karaoke bar why not keep it going um so you know he pulled up he decided to pick me up in an uber and he pulled up got out of the car and it was so surreal, like to see him after all these years and, you know, we gave each other a nice hug and got in the car, went to the Uber. And it was very weird. It's like, we knew we had this connection and it was so strong, but it was also like meeting a stranger, you know? So we get settled in, you know,

we're having a drink. And like, it just felt natural. I felt right. It felt, I felt that, like, connection again. And then when we were at the karaoke bar, we had our first kiss. And I always say that the first kiss will determine the longevity of the relationship. Oh, wow. And it's an, important moment. We should use that as a court of the day tomorrow. I like that. A kiss will determine the longevity of a relationship, the first kiss. You know. I hadn't heard that. That's awesome. Wow. You know when you get chills down your spine and you just feel like you're just so connected to this person. And then when things don't work out, you can reflect back and go, yeah, I kind of knew from the first kiss. You know what a kiss isn't right. You know. You know what a kiss isn't right.

I don't know when there's no vibe going on. So true. Oh, that's just a convenient excuse later. And everything looks bad after that. All right. So fine, you meet up again. Yeah. There's a connection again.

But how do you go from that to, hey, let's get engaged. Why don't you move to the United States? And let's do this 90-day Beyonce thing. Okay, so there's a lot more to the story. Oh. So we had this first kiss. This is like our first date ever. And I go back to my hotel.

I'm not going to lie. I did try to get him into my hotel. because I needed a little bit more of that kiss. But because it was an all-inclusive, they're super strict. That's hilarious. They're super strict. They would not let him in. I'm like, please, this can be the love of my life.

Please let him come in and they're like, no. No bracelet. Yeah, he's trying to like make deals with the security guard. I'm like, it's not happening. So I didn't get to see him again that trip. That was it. What? I know.

And I had to leave like two days later and I didn't get to see him. It was horrible. But we stayed in touch. And from that moment, from the moment I left Punta Kona, we, never had a lapse of time that we didn't speak. Never. We spoke every day. We would face time every day. And there was a month that went by that we would speak every day. And we really get to know each other intimately, emotionally, you know, who you really are. And it's not about the sex. It's not about like this physical connection. It's really about building an emotional connection because we're

apart. So I decided that I have to go back and see him. So I booked another trip solo by myself a month later. And, you know, I booked a hotel in Punta Kana. He came to meet me. We spent like four or five lovely days together. And I feel like in that moment, we really fell in love. Like we really fell in love so deeply. And I left. We cried. And I'm like, am I ever going to see you again? And he was like, we have to. And then the relationship continued. Now, I will tell you that we were both in, like, relationships. I was kind of dating somebody. It wasn't a very serious thing, but it was somebody that was in my life. And he was dating. He had a girlfriend. And we made the decision that we were both going to tell our significant others that, you know what, we found somebody else, like we're going

to be in this relationship together. And we both had to break it off with the other people. So after the trip that I went to go see him when we fell in love, our love story continued. And it was years, years of long distance. It was two years of long distance. Now, after year one, we applied for a tourist visa because I said, I don't want to, I don't want to get engaged. I don't want to do this. I don't want to have to commit to like a potential marriage. Like, why don't you just get, he's never been out of the country, never been on a plane.

So I said, why don't you just get a tourist visa, come to the United States, come stay with me for a few weeks and see if you like it. See if you feel comfortable here. See if our lives will gel together for a couple of weeks. And he got denied. So we had no option. So the option was we have to end the relationship or we have to apply for the K1 visa, which is a very difficult decision, especially for me who decided I was never getting married again. So I had a conversation with my mom and she was like, you know what? She goes, just put the paperwork in because we knew the paperwork would take at least a year. And she said, just do it. If you change your mind, just cancel the paperwork, cancel the process. So I said, all right, I'll do it. And the next year, we continue to date long distance. I would go visit him every. six to eight weeks. Our relationship continued to get stronger and stronger. And at that point, I was like, okay, I do feel like this was the right decision to apply for the K1 visa. You were seeing each other every month and a half, the two months. For how long? Did that go

up? Two years. There are people in the U.S. long distance that don't see each other that all. That's a pretty good commitment. Yeah, I'm really grateful that I had the means to do it. You know, I had time off from work that I could, you know, travel when my kids were with my ex-husband for his custody days, like I was able to go and travel then. Yeah. So I was very fortunate. I know that a lot of people don't get to have that opportunity. So I think that that also helped build our relationship and help us get stronger and stronger versus like people that really stay apart. Close your eyes and you can hear the entire world come alive. 2026 FIFA World Cup is on and you can stream it all live on on TSN radio from. From

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Listen to learning to be human on IHard Radio, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Rose, you help me here, because we've watched every episode of your current season, and we watch a bunch of seasons of this show. We get a different impression of your relationship. Yeah. listening to you than watching the show. I know some stuff has to be left on the cutting room floor. Yeah.

But there is a lot of stuff. A lot, but a lot goes away in explaining or, I mean, quite frankly, justifying this being a love story and beyond somebody who is trying to track down a damn visa. Yeah. And it's also people think that it was this vacation fling and then I decided to bring some stranger to the United States and be with my kids. I mean, we've been dating for a long time. Even my whole family went to Punta Kana at one point to spend time with Edward, including my kids, including my sister and her kids and my parents.

So this was a really legitimate relationship. It wasn't just like a quick fling. Yeah, and I think that is where people start to get skeptical when they watch a lot of different shows and they kind of lump them all into one. But it is the reason why we do really like this show because it does feel legit. But I didn't even realize how much depth your relationship actually had because there was a huge. huge backstory before the cameras even started rolling. So once you get to this place, everyone's on board, so to speak. I'm curious, at what point do you decide, hey, let's do this television show? Like, how does the television part of it come into it? That's never on the radar.

A friend of mine at work had also gone through the K-1 visa process. So she and I would talk a lot. And she said, you know what, join this Facebook group. It's a great forum for you to like ask questions, learn a lot about the whole process. I went into this Facebook group, and it was really helpful for me. It's almost like a support group because it's a very hard process, you know. And one day I get this Facebook message, and it was from a casting director from the show. And she said, hi, I'm so-and-so. I'm a casting director for 90-day fiancé. Would you be interested in having a conversation? And I laughed, and I like immediately called Edward, and I was like, this is a joke. Like, it's probably spam. And so I ended up writing back to her, and I said, you know,

I'd be interested to hear more. But it's funny because a lot of the people that knew us said, oh, are you going to do the 90-day fiancé thing? And my immediate response was always like, are you kidding me? Absolutely not. Never in a million years would I ever go on that show. But the casting director calls me and I'm like, well, is this meant to be? Is this serendipitous? I don't know.

So I had a conversation. One thing led to another. The whole casting process started. And then a few months later, they're like, oh, guess what? You've been cast. And I was like, before I even had a chance to say like, yes or no, I was like, okay, I guess we're doing this. It just felt like, you know, they presented this opportunity and I, you know, I ran with it.

That's fun. How did that change your relationship, if at all? I think it put a lot of pressure on us. I think that we knew our whole life was going to be exposed to the public. And, you know, no relationship is perfect. We had our ups and downs, even in our long-distance relationship. It's not easy, you know, like we come from very different worlds, cultural differences. My career versus his career is very different in terms of expectations. My lifestyle is very different in terms of what he's used to. And I really struggled with the idea of having him come here. I never wanted to be in a relationship. I never and all the people that I've dated have never been about money. That's not important to me that somebody has money that you can support me because

I could support myself. But the idea of bringing someone in and like fully supporting them and fully taking care of them and teaching them everything that they had to know was jarring to me. It was scary. And you can see how

that would take some of the romance out of things even possibly. It's like you take on a more of a maternal role or something. And especially with an age difference, I wonder if that felt overwhelming or it changed just the dynamic of your relationship. I think with the age difference is that I never felt like Edward was a kid to me. I never felt like, oh, he was this young guy that wasn't on my level, like in terms of maturity, emotional maturity.

He's even more mature than I am in that realm. But I did feel like there's other aspects of his life that were, you know, he hadn't had the same life experiences at all. And so I would have to teach him a lot of these things. And the things that I know and the things that he knows are just different. He knows a lot about baseball. You know, that's great. That's his thing.

And I don't. So I could learn from him in that regard. But, you know, it's just big differences. And that made it challenging, especially towards when it got closer to the day that he was about to arrive in the United States. It's like my anxiety like skyrocketed. And he even told me, he was like, you really changed in these last couple months. Like, because I was scared. I was terrified.

And you have cameras on you. Cameras on you. And then it's like, okay, once you get to the United States, like, what are you going to do? Like, knock it. Like, you feel like you're in it. You know, like you feel like there's like this is a talk, tick, talk, tick, talk. Oh, that's right, 90 days. It's not a long time.

That's pressure for anyone. Yeah. Can I, how do you combat or how much does it annoy you? or maybe you don't hear it that much. You know the story. It's played out on 90-day plenty of times over all the seasons. Divorce woman goes down to Caribbean, makes out with some do, brings back some. Sometimes it's a 24-year-old guy, so your guy's in his 30s.

But still, I'm saying if people aren't looking you up and getting your background, there's a lot of that background. We are just learning here that is missed. And the impression is that you're, I think you're 13 years older than he is. Yes. But still, does that do that? bother you, annoy you? Have you had to answer those questions to friends and family? All the time. All the time. All the time. I mean, some of the, I remember being at a party one time and it was a friend

of mine's like husband or something. I said, you know, I'm dating this guy from the DR and they're like, oh, what are you? Is green card ticket? And I'm like, and it's just, it's so insulting, actually, because I look at them and I say, so am I not worthy of love? Like, am I only like being used for a green card? Is that my only purpose? So it's hurtful. and you have to, you know, everybody in my life had questions. Everybody was like, who's this guy? Is he using you? Like, see, you just want to get to the country.

And I think a lot of people probably, like, you know, there's been other couples on 90-day fiance, American woman, Dominican man. And some of those relationships have not gone right. We've watched those. Yes. Yeah. And it always comes down to like, was he really in it for the love or was he in it to get to the country?

and I had to fight against those ideas and opinions nonstop. I still feel like I do sometimes. Your mom is, I liked her a lot watching her. She's a tough cookie. She's very protective of you. Please tell her we're a fan. Actually, there were lots of parts of her that reminded me of my mom. And a lot, did you see?

Absolutely. Yes, I absolutely was like, oh my goodness. But no, she was mama bearing and I loved it. But who has given you the biggest pushback? And how have your kids? I mean, we saw them excited, you know, that, oh, yay, Edward's coming. But that sounds exciting. And then when it happens, it's usually a very different experience or at least it's an amended experience.

Yeah. How has it been in your tight circle in terms of pushback? My parents, for sure, were the biggest people, like, they had the biggest concern. I hate to talk about money. And listen, my parents, like, they are. do have money and good for them. My stepdad worked really, really hard. My real dad passed away two and half years ago. So we're talking about my mom and my stepdad. He's worked his entire life. He's worked his tail off. I mean, he didn't come from money. He was an army veteran. You know, he grew up

in a small little house in New Jersey with the ceilings were like seven feet. You know, like he didn't have anything. And he built his life. And I commend him for that. Same thing with my mother. She was a single mom raising me and my sister. We grew up in a little house in the Bronx. It was my grandmother's house, so we all lived in one little house. Like, I didn't come from money. I didn't, like, you know, a lot of people have this misconception. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Not the case. I'm a kid from the Bronx. I didn't move to Pennsylvania until I was 21. And, you know, because now my parents do have wealth and they are enjoying their successes in life, they want to make sure that they're protecting that. You know, I'm sure that there's an inheritance, you know,

to come along with, you know, in the event that they pass away. Right. And they want to make sure that I'm protected. My children are protected and everybody in the close circle. So they were the most concerned. What are you doing? What are you getting into? Are you sure this guy's legit? My sister, my sister's is not on the show. She didn't want to participate. But she was also very concerned. And she would say, listen, I hope it works out for you. But like, are you sure you're making the right decision? Like, you don't really know what this guy's intentions are. I felt like I did, though. I felt like I knew his heart. I knew his intention. And we had such a strong and unique love for another that, Like, I didn't have concerns that he was using me.

Like, that was never a thought of my mind. But looking from the outside in, everybody feels that way. Now, the kids were different. They, you know, like, again, boys are boys. They're like, oh, great, mom is a boyfriend. I think my older one, Derek, he did have the biggest concern that he didn't want a new man coming to his life that was going to play daddy. I saw him say that to you. Like, he can't just come in and expect me to say, dad.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Cole just rolls with it. And he's just like, whatever. Okay, cool. But yeah, like once the kids met Edward, they loved him when we all met in Punta Kana as a family. They loved him.

Like, he's a young guy. He's fun. He could play with the kids at a level that I can't. And, you know, once Edward got to the United States, the kids welcomed him in. And it was, it wasn't a hard transition for us. That's all. How about your ex-husband? Oh, my ex-husband.

So my ex-husband. How do we put that into words, what she just did when you say it ex-husband? You really want to skip over that? She exhaled. He's exhausting. Yeah. It was an eye roll of sorts. It was an eye roll.

He exhausts me. And I'll tell you why. Because he is always going to be the protective of the mother of his children. He's super protective of the boys. And he came in with this attitude like, I'm going to be nice, but don't cross me. Now, Edward is like, I mean, you've seen Edward on the show. He's the sweetest, kindest, like, human. He never does anything.

He never, like, starts any drama with anybody. And Michael had this idea that like, you know, something's not right about him. He also thought, who's this guy from DR using you for a green card, you know? Like, and it started off calm. And over the last couple of months, things have really escalated. It got kind of ugly. He has doubted Edwards' intentions. He's been really territorial about the boys and like, you know.

And it's just been, it's been really, really difficult with my ex. Wait, but he's upset about something. happening with the book? What is it exactly he's pissed about? I think that because Edward is a really strong baseball player, so is Michael. And Derek plays baseball. Michael is the coach of Derek's team. And there's this whole like battle of like who's going to coach Derek better. Now Edward stays, you know, in his own lane and he doesn't try to like interfere too much. But at one point, Michael was like, oh, I could really use your help coaching Derek. And then when Edward would start getting involved with the team, he'd be like, well, this isn't cool.

This is, I'm not comfortable with this. And it got like, there was a lot of jealousy. It's jealousy, yeah. Okay. It was a cock fight. Sorry. I didn't understand. Sorry.

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Like, I've always wondered, this is so fun to get to ask. Yeah. I watched the show. The boys only want to watch the parts that they're in together. That's fun. I like to, you know, dissect what happens on screen and I sometimes cringe when I see myself or what I was like, what parts of me were put into the show and I'm like, you know, like that looks so bad.

But have you noticed things? I'm curious because we, we watch a lot of these shows and we'll watch other people be vulnerable and talk about their feelings and their egos and all of these things. And then I'll be able to go, ooh, I think I do that too. Or that's what's going on. Like we actually understand how we react by watching other people react. But when it's you watching yourself react, have you changed behavior? Have you changed how you react to things based on how you've seen yourself act on camera?

Absolutely. I made like I made an Instagram real about this like that I take full accountability. I watch myself back and I say like, I am a giant bitch. Like I am bossy. Listen, I'm not going to lie. I am bossy. I'm a bossy person. but it's because of the role that I had to fulfill for the last seven years that I, you know,

that I have to have very good structure in my life. I have to control things because I have two little kids to make sure are safe and well taken care of it for. And I like things a certain way in my house. And it's like kind of funny. It's like, why would I just allow disruption to occur in the house with like, you know, shoes in the house or not having like cleanliness or having the bed made? like why would I just allow this? Like I like to have things a certain way.

You're talking to two neat freaks. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, maybe my delivery comes off a little strong and I could have been a little bit nicer. But you have to also remember, like in the 90 days,

it was really hard for me. It was super hard because Edward gets off the plane immediately before we even have two seconds together to give each other like a hug and a kiss. Cameras are on. And you just like, like, don't have that moment of peace and the anxiety's high, you know, like he's never been on TV. I've been on minimal TV, a couple episodes of say to the dress, but it's like, you know,

having your relationship exposed to the world, like, you're anxious and you can't relax. And then there's a, there's a whole backstory about how I had asked Edward to kind of prepare for his arrival in the United States. Get a skill, like, you know, save some money, do all of this. And you'll see it play out, but it's like he didn't really do that. and that's where my frustrations lie, is that he didn't really come prepared. Well, how much else? What can you tease about the rest of the season?

As we sit here with you now, we are up to episode what, seven, you say? I think that's the last one we saw was episode seven. So how many are left do we have for the season? Anybody? Not sure. But we got more. So, but what else can you tell us or tease

that folks really need to stay tuned for this season? I guess even what other big moments are coming for you guys? Yeah. Well, listen, it only gets worse. It only gets worse from here. You know, you're not going to see Marissa all of a sudden become nicer. I think like I hit a peak of like my bitchiness and then, you know, I start to calm down a little bit. Oh my gosh. But it's, to be honest with you guys, it was a really hard 90 days. It was really, really hard. I struggled a lot emotionally, mentally. you know, my relationship with Edward was not the same. If, you know, there was, like, there's some scenes that, you know, in the first trailer,

you'll see us in a scene where we had like a kind of big blowout fight where I was like, I don't know who I am anymore. And I really felt like I was losing myself and who I am because there was so much pressure. That 90 days, like you said earlier, it was a ticking time bomb. It really felt like that. And I have the pressure of my family and my friends. Are you making the right decision? And I started, I thought I was making the right.

decision and then I start to question everything in my life. Like, am I making the right decision? Is this the right person for me? Am I going to be happy in the long run? And it was very chaotic. Would your answer just then been the same if we took the cameras away? Would that clock feel the same and that pressure feel the same? I do think it would. Maybe not as intense and maybe the whole world wouldn't have seen it, seen the really ugly sides to me, but I felt it really strongly. I felt the pressure of everything. And I was really true to who I was and my real emotions. And that's what you see on TV. So while some people could act nice and happy and like, you know, pretend for the cameras, I didn't. And that's what you saw is the real raw Marissa and

her extreme emotions and anxieties. And that's what came out. I mean, there was still nice moments, but there's also a lot of like me feeling like, what am I doing? But I do think that that's part of the draw to the show is that it is so real. Yeah. And that we all can relate. We've all felt in varying degrees the way you felt like, certainly we know what it's like to have a relationship scrutinized and perhaps viewed through different people's lenses who all want to have opinions, who all want to have judgments.

And that does affect your relationship. That does put pressure on it. That we understand that to an extent. I'm curious when you say that you let it all out. you were exactly who you were. I'm, do you forget that the cameras are there ever? Okay, because I was just curious because it seems so real. I'm surprised there isn't more of a put on and more of a glossed over effect.

I actually think, do they just get used to the cameras? Are the camera crew really adept at not really being there, even though they're there? You really do forget. And even though there's like a camera right here, like you get really close to your crew. And like, you know, I love the crew. The crew is the best. but like they, they kind of come in

and you just kind of like, accept that they're just like, people in your house there all the time. And like you forget that they're, and you don't really, the funny thing is you don't even know when they're filming or when they're not. Sometimes cameras are rolling,

you don't even know it. So it's, it's an interesting feeling. You do, you know, at first you're aware, but then it starts to become just like, oh, this is like normal life. God, can you imagine,

though, everybody that gets engaged in the United States, Americans. You have 90 days to get married. That would stress, anybody out. Yes. They gave us 90 days after I proposed.

People are asking us all and we're like, oh, we got to come up with a day. We have to say when we're getting married because, yes, so it's funny. We are engaged and I actually feel so grateful that we don't have a timeline or some date that we have

to get married by or else. That is very stressful. And you get to enjoy your engagement. Yes. So, and for us it's like, you know, you also, I didn't have any wedding plans. You know, maybe some people started their wedding planning when they were like 18 years old.

I did not. But you also have this like, okay, pending wedding. It's gonna happen in 90 days. And like do you move forward with planning a wedding, booking a venue, booking vendors, all of this, knowing that this may or may not happen? I mean, so think about planning a wedding. That's stress-in-wetting.

Yeah, this is a stressful time in itself, just planning a wedding and now condense that time into 90 days along with all of the like getting used to each other and the differences and like ironing out all the things that happen when you move in together. Do you guys live together, I'm assuming? We do. Yeah.

So when you first moved in together, there's a period of adjustment. Mm-hmm. And, you know, so think of that. Agreed. Plus, planning a wedding, plus, you know. And we'd known each other for 10 years before we moved in together. And there still was an adjustment period. You mentioned that you're no longer with the, in the wedding industry.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm so excited. I love an update. I know. So, yeah, I was in the wedding industry my whole career. I worked at David's Bridal for 20 years, Kleinfeld for five. And I didn't want to work for somebody anymore.

And I don't know if you know this. It might have mentioned quickly on the show that I'm a bar instructor. Do you know what bar is? It's a style of fitness. And I'm a bar instructor. And it's always been my passion and my livelihood. When I step into the studio to teach a class, it brings me so much joy and happiness. And back in 2020, I wanted to buy a studio, but it didn't work out.

COVID, the studio was not valued. like appropriately to the sale price so I abandoned that that's when I went to go work for Kleinfeld and I had this opportunity at the studio that I work at now and we also have a sister studio so I bought the studios that's awesome congratulations so yeah we're actually making a big announcement on Monday to the world and then I take over ownership on Wednesday next week. That's amazing I just got chills that's phenomenal and I love this is always people who are listening are looking for inspiration. Like a lot of us, many of us,

at a certain stage in your life, you get stuck. What you thought was going to happen, doesn't happen. What you thought was going to work out, didn't. So to hear not only from a relationship standpoint that you've made or had this beautiful opportunity

at a second go of it, and look at you career-wise, doing the same thing. Yeah. That's such an interesting parallel, too. It's like, you know, in two big aspects of my life, I'm changing a lot.

But yeah, I'm super excited about the career change. It's very scary, but I'm super excited. You're smiling. You're ear to ear as you're talking about. I'm ecstatic about this. I mean, it's like my dream. It's almost like I still feel like it's a pinch me moment that I'm like, is this really happening?

Am I living my dream right now? So I'm thrilled. Marissa, the last thing is just for women possibly listening and hear that story. What would you advise folks who do go off on a vacation? Meet some guy on a vacation. We hear stories about meeting folks on cruise lines and things like that. And yes, people come and think it's a green card situation or whatever else. What would you advise women who might meet a guy?

Maybe it ain't for everybody. Maybe you got some warnings or some red flags. But what would you advise folks? Well, first and foremost, follow your heart because your heart knows there are instincts. Women have instincts. It's a real thing. And even with my first husband, I knew that there were a lot of red flags that I ignored. I knew it from the very beginning and I ignored it because I thought that they would change.

And if there are no red flags, if your instincts tell you that this is the right person for you, then go with it. take a chance, but also be cautious. You know, you have to really keep your eyes open. Like, what questions are they asking? Are they asking you to send a lot of money? Are you asking, they ask them to support their family? Like, do they really care about you personally and your heart and your emotional safety? Like, these are the things that you have to tap into and pay attention to because that will tell you whether the person is genuine or if they're using you. All right. And I know you can't tell us the outcome because the show is still in the middle of its season, but how hard has it been to keep it all quiet? It's so hard. It's so hard. A lot of people

ask me, even like lots of my friends, like, friends, distant friends, you know, some of my friends that I'm close with know the outcome, but a lot of distant friends are saying, you're not going to tell us what happens. And I'm like, no, you got to watch. It's just, it's really hard because it's a big, it's a big part of my life. So you have to amend your life, how you go out, how you interact with people and how, like, that's, that's a huge commitment. it is. It sure is. Because obviously if you're together and you got married, you can't go out and hang out and hold hands. And if you broke up, you can't exactly publicly be dating other people because then that would be obvious. So you're kind of just... Yeah, I'm just existing as Marissa

right now. I don't know what's happening. I don't know what happens in my life. I'll have to watch the show to find out. Well, Marissa, thank you so much. I'm can't. I'm, can't, not even tell you how fun it has been to get to know you, to get to hear what actually happens behind the scenes, and to be rooting for you. Thank you. Whether it's with Edward or not, it's been wonderful to get to know you, and I know you've inspired a lot of folks who are listening. Oh, I appreciate that.

Thank you. And you guys are so amazing. I loved having a moment with you guys. Thank you. I'd so much fun here today. Well, thank you, thank you. And to our listeners here, you can check out 90-day fiancé Sundays, 8 p.m. on TLC and streaming next day on HBO Max.

And, yes, a reminder to everyone. Are you in a long-distance relationship? Are you in your chapter two? Do you need some advice on how to navigate it all? Well, we can help in this podcast. In so many ways. In so many ways. Yeah, send us an email.

Leave us a voicemail. All the info is in the show notes. Follow us on social. It's I do part two and IHeart Radio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. Talk soon. Joy is essential and it's also elusive. But now there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence, Joy 101.

It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby. If you're craving inspiration to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting and moving on-air chats. Open your free I-Heart Radio app. Search Joy 101 and listen now. Joy 101

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Welcome to the Sweet 305 podcast where the group check comes to life. What a hell? You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It's lemonade. This is Sweet 305. Here, oversharing is encouraged. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons on the IHard Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone sees me as a football player, but before anything else, I'm human.

Every single day, I'm still learning how to live with problems, mistakes, relationships, emotions. ever since I was born. This isn't a normal podcast. Everything here is spontaneous, real, and genuine. Just honest conversations about what it means to be alive. I'm Javier Tornandez, and listen to Learning to Be Human on IHard Radio, Apple Podcasts, or whatever you get your podcast.

Happy pride from the Outspoken Podcast Network. All month long and all year round, we're celebrating being loud, proud, and always original. It's me, Brandon Kyle Goodman, host of the podcast, Tell Me Something Messy. Check out my show for Unfiltered Takes on Day. relationships and adulting. Listen to High Key for the best pop culture takes

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