The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Going for the Gold with Nancy Hulkower

Episode Date: September 5, 2024

Ben is hanging out with Nancy Hulkower from The Golden Bachelor! We get an update on her life since her time on the show, what she's looking forward to in Joan's season of The Golden Bachelorette, and Ben hears some valuable parenting advice that anyone with kids needs to hear!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I was diagnosed with cancer on Friday and cancer free the next Friday. No chemo, no radiation, none of that. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. Professionally, I started at Deadwell Records. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Why are TSA rules so confusing?

You got a hoot of you. I'll take it all! I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me.

I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. No such thing. This is the Ben and Ashley I, Almost Famous Podcasts with IHartRadio. It's the Almost Famous Podcast. We're here in San Francisco.

Nancy is with us. Nancy, you and I have a lot of life in common, don't we? Yes, we do. funny isn't it it's funny i told you there must be something in the water can you explain to the audience um how our lives have been interconnected yes um when you were the golden or the bachelor sorry golden everything's golden right now for me um when you were the bachelor obviously i grew up in indiana and more sign diana you did too and your parents lived on the lake my parents lived on the lake and my mom

was like, I know Ben Higgins. I've known him since he was little and go to the same church and did she teach you kindergarten? She did not but we worked together. You worked together and she was, I don't know if I can say this. She said

when you started when things were, you know, everybody knew you, the show was still going on and she goes, you know, I really, I slept with Ben Higgins. I go, Mom, you can't say that. No, you can. She goes, no, no, no, but it was at church camp. And you guys helped some of the kids who had challenges.

And she said, no, Ben and I literally slept together in a tent, bunkmates. But she was saying it, of course, not meaning anything else. But I was like, Mom, say it a different way. Yeah, no, I like that she said it that way. It's a good story. So. So, and then, you know, I came when you were the bachelor and I came to, and I have pictures of it when you did a 5K or 10K. and then when you came to the boys club

and I know you worked at the boys club and you worked with my son one summer when he was struggling and my mom had him come to Grandma Carol's. Lord knows what she made him do, but also he worked with you then. And so it was just kind of, I'm so much older than you are,

but it just feels so nice to have that in common. Well, and it was nice for me to watch the show and to root and cheer for you. You know, it's probably like roles reversed. there where I'm watching it going like, you know, I want to know more about her. I want to see her thrive. And you're right. Your mom and I had a lot of like alignment. And so, you know, some of the most impactful years in my life and why I do what I do today was during that season where I was working with your mom because we got to work with some incredible kids at this camp.

And I got to see and learn from her, right? Because she was older than me. I was like 20 years old at the time. Right. But we were both, you know, helping push kids up the hill or get, you know, these kids cleaned up. And then we were. We were sharing this cabin together and this like really powerful team. Right. That, you know, was helping, helping cultivate this camp. Yes. And so your mom and I have done a lot of life together, especially in my early 20s. We did grow up in the same the area. I just got to ask this. Did watching the Bachelor and seeing that whole thing go, did it have any influence on you then saying I want to go on to the Golden Show? Yes, definitely because I remember, you may not remember it, but I remember when I was at the 10K or the 5K

thinking and my husband had died maybe three years before that. And so I was thinking, they should do something for widows, is what I was thinking in my head. And I made like an off comment, like, wouldn't this be great, Ben? And, you know, Ben was surrounded by, you know, hundreds of people at the time. But I remember thinking that. And I thought, yeah, right. And that was it. And then move forward. And my niece applied me. And I thought, okay, should I do this? should I not do this? And I remember you saying, why not? Not to me, but to Luke, I think.

One of our, my nephew. Yeah. Like, oh, she should do it or why wouldn't she do it? And it wasn't influenced because I'd seen you. I'd seen that. I'd watched the whole show. I watched you and Lauren, et cetera. And I thought, no, this would be really great.

So I went in, eyes wide open. And unlike some of my colleagues on the show, cast members, I didn't read a book. I didn't know that there was even a book to read, how to win, how to, I wasn't there for that. I had been single for 12 years, and I thought, you know what, maybe this is it. And doors kept opening, like I thought, oh, I won't do that. And all of a sudden, it just kept going. And I thought, no, I'm going to do this. So it was an adventure.

It is helpful to know somebody who's gone through it before you because I do think there is a level two where going on the show feels overwhelming. It feels like how in the world can I do this? And I felt that way when I went on to The Bachelorette. And then what helped me was meeting actually some other guys that were bachelors and going, wait, they're actually normal. Like they're humans still functioning in this world. Right. I feel like if they can do it, I can do it just because they're good people.

Right. And so once you know somebody who's gone through, it does make it a little easier. And so I did say that. I remember saying that to Luke, because I remember when I was told that you were considering doing this show. Does that advice of the why not or why wouldn't you,

are you glad you did it? Did it work out? Absolutely. I, again, went in blind, but hopeful. and it surpassed what I thought would happen. Unfortunately, Gary and I really didn't have a connection, and I self-eliminated, as you know,

but I, as you've heard, made fabulous friends and still have hope that, you know, and with now Joan on her season, you know, she's finding love, hopefully, and it gives us hope for the future. I think that's a big question that people are having, though, with the Golden Show. You know, we see it with past contestants and past seasons where the friends come out. You guys are obviously, you have this built, you know, in friendship now that kind of travels around, does fun stuff together.

But what is the hope after the show? Because for the younger people, they come off and they become influencers or they, you know, just are getting their career started. So what is like, what are you excited for? What are your friends excited for that have came off this golden show? I think many, I was, again, I didn't have an Instagram before. I know that may sound bad, but my kids are like, what, you don't? I was shocked at, oh my gosh, like right after the show, all of a sudden, everybody's like, you've got to get so many followers, you've got to do this.

I went on a show or a vacation with a couple of the cast members, and they, every day it was okay we got to do a video smile because we got this has to get out okay how many followers did we get how many how many people comment what are they saying every morning and I literally said we're on vacation yeah and they're like you've got to seize the moment and I I mean this is like a soft spot for me because I still I don't know what my role is I'm you know I'm a great people person. I can hang out with anybody. I want to do some good in the world. And all of a sudden, I'm surrounded with a lot of people who it's like, this is the goal. Wait, I'm going to go talk to, I'm going to go talk to Ben first. I'm going to go talk to

who see whoever first. And I got his number. Oh, yeah, Ben texted me the other day. I'm using that's an example. But, and then I'm like, what? Are you, and people are still talking to the producers. And I talk to some of them, but I don't call them and say, what do you got for me? What do you, you know, can you use me in any way? And the other thing was, it made me self-reflect because I'm not like many of my friends on the show.

There's big personalities. They're hilarious. Kathy and Susan are my closest friends and Joan and Christina. Christina and Joan and I are more alike. We're quieter, but it makes you self-evaluate and go, well, I'm not as funny, so nobody's going to want to talk to me or that kind of thing. And so it's really hard right now in this arena, the funnier person gets the shows, and the funnier person gets the whatever.

or sales, peepers or whatever. So it's just different. It is. And it's unique to hear you say that because it's the same struggle that I think I went through when I got off the show. Yeah, I'd love to hear that. And it is that comparison. And it is a little bit of the envy.

I just publicly talked about it the other day. I was speaking at a conference and it was more of a panel. And they asked me the question, what's the one thing that's been so unique that you've struggled with that's kind of surprising you? I struggle with so much envy. And I think the envy is brought on the anxiety and the envy is brought on the comparison.

And you're saying that you're a group of friends and yourself included. Who love me? Definitely. But you still struggle with that envy coming off of this experience. Absolutely. And I remember telling one of them,

they got to meet a famous celebrity, Bradley Cooper. And I said to Susan, oh my gosh, I said I'm so envious. I would love to meet Bradley Cooper. You know, he's such a great actor and, oh, he's so handsome and all of that. And she said, you're just jealous, Nancy. I said, I'm not jealous. I'm envious.

And there's two different, you know what I mean? I envy that that you could be so funny and you get to do the 50 over 50. And then you start looking at yourself, well, why wasn't I picked for 50 over 50? I'm not bad. I have things to offer. I know things I can do. But because I'm not in that personality, those people get seen more. And so that's what I also, I think, learned from you.

You stuck to your values and you stuck to the person you are. You didn't try to, or it didn't appear that way. Well, yeah, it became that way because of some good advice I got to, and I've said it before, but it's probably the best advice I've ever been given, at least in this chapter my life is to use all this for something greater than yourself. And the less you focus on building up your brand and getting your opportunities, the less burden filled it will become. And it has been that way. There's a lot more joy for me because now my new friends and these new opportunities and just this experience, remembering the experience and having the confidence coming out of that.

The fact that you and I both were on national television, we laid our hearts out. there the best we could and we've done it and we've survived it and we're still moving on with life that is something that I'm proud of that now I can take with me no matter what opportunities come or don't come you're right but the focus outside of myself has made this whole thing so much better I want to hear a little bit more about what your life looks like today coming off of the show so you know obviously we're here we're in San Francisco we get to do these great things together. But you went back to your life.

And, you know, you're not on television every week anymore. You're not filming for four months straight. So what does life look like for you? Well, I have three kids, two are out of the house. One, my youngest is a senior in college. So she'll be, so it's me and my dog, Max, golden doodle, best dog ever. And, you know, after this whole year has been busy. I was fortunate enough to get invited back for things after the final rose, women tell all, all that.

And so I didn't work this year. And I've, you know, volunteered for a colon cancer alliance, which I feel strongly about because my husband died from colon cancer. And so, you know, everybody's like, you have a blank page. Now what are you going to do? I was just trying to get my kids right after Mark passed away. they all went through, it was bad. And I didn't think we, in any of us were going to survive. And so that's what I did until they, you know, got them in college, got them out of college, you know, all of that.

And now I feel like, now it's my time. Okay, what do you want to do? That's a big question. Sure. And a big space to fill. And so I feel like my faith is. strong it's actually gotten stronger um i think since the show even um because i pray about things and then things open up things and i'm you know i just want to be in the right spot and follow

my values and but i also want to help other people and i have some friends who have also lost their spouses at home and um we talk a lot about obviously grief and different forms of grief and all of that. And I really like that, although I was thinking, oh, wouldn't it be great to do something with talking about grief, but grief that we all, you don't just have to lose a spouse, you can lose a parent, you can lose a dog. But then I remember thinking, well, you, I grieve because I grieve the life I thought I was going to have. And, or for my my son, I grieve for him because he doesn't have his dad and the struggles he went through. And he came out of, he came through it, not out of it, but through it.

And those kind of things I'd like to talk to people about and help people, but then end on a good note. You know, grief is so obviously depressing, but you can also end on a good note. So what did you learn from those things that you went through going forward? can you, let's end on a good note and talk about something positive. Anyway, but there's so many podcasts now about grief, which is great because I remember thinking, you know, sometimes you don't want to get out of bed. So you're not going to go, you may not want to go to the therapist or you can't afford to go to a therapist or whatever and listening to people talk about it. And that's why I have a group, you know, that we get together and just talk about it or not. Yeah.

My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Well, wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age.

It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney. the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free.

I'm Ebeney and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant,

but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone, to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this, until this. that turn this. It's just, I can do my icecloth. I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And on our new show, No Such Thing, we get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on

overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing. See? Listen to No Such Thing on the Eye. Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free iHeartRadio app, search emergency intercom, and listen now. Hola, it's HoneyGerman, and my podcast, Grasias Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment,

with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't audition in, like, over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shows.

shifters sharing their real stories of failure and success. You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing vibras you've come to expect. And of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know what I'm me?

but the whole pretending and, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas Has Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. One of the things I think yet to be seen, and a role that I'm, I think you could definitely carry would be, hopefully there's more seasons of the golden bachelor which means there's going to be more stories shared and more people coming off of it right

and you'll have the experience now you'll have a year's head start or whatever the time frame is to also reach out to these women who come off the show and who've shared their stories and support them in whatever way you know to be helpful and that's going to be a really not only exciting time for you because of the relationships that will be built, but I think a really helpful time for them.

Because oftentimes you do. You lay your heart out there, and then there's no place to turn afterwards, and you're just wondering, what is next? Like, what did I just do? Right. A couple final questions for you. I'm always interested in this when it comes to, you know,

the women who are on the Golden Bachelor. What did your kids think when they watch you on television? And what do they still think? when they watch you on television today. Well, before that, I made a promise to them. They're like, oh, mom, no kissing. You're going to kiss somebody on TV. Look at them.

Look, they all French kiss the first night. I said, well, maybe some of the younger ones do, but trust me. And again, I'm the only parent. So I worried about that. Is that this going to impact my kids anyway? And I thought, no, I can stand up for what I want to do. Sure. And so they, I think they saw it as like some, you know, oh, she's on a reality show,

ha, ha, but then they liked it. And then they were proud of me. They were like, mom, you didn't kiss anybody on TV. You, you know what? You did great. And again, I was only there. I think I left when there were seven people left. But they were proud of me.

And I think they also saw, I may have said this before, that I think they see me differently now. From being on the show, I think they see me. Obviously, I'm their mom and their biggest cheerleader. But they also see me individually as a woman and someone who hopefully will find a partner, companion, perhaps get married again, someone who's still looking for love. And I've told them that in real, in talking about dating, that your heart is big,

and you'll know this when you have your baby girl, that you have so much love for your spouse, and you don't want to take anything away from that, and then you have a baby, and then you think about possibly having another one. And I remember after I had one thinking, I could never love another child like I love mine, like I love Annie.

And then all of a sudden, Griffin comes, and I'm like, oh, my God, I never knew. And then I use that same analogy with me dating again. I would get married again if I meet the right man. But it's not that that takes away from your dad. It doesn't my heart, and I said, your heart expands. You have this life that you had, and nothing can touch that. But your heart expands, and you can.

also have a new life, but not take away from the old one. Yeah. And I said, and I think, you know, obviously I say, I think daddy would be proud that of the way we've all come through everything and we're still standing. It's impressive, I think, for all of you, though, to go back and do these television shows, you have made appearances and you have gone on and you've done it with confidence and this grace and you just kind of done it. Like, you just walked into it, walked through it. Yeah. And it's awesome. And your kids should be very proud of you. Final question for you. Thank you. Um, because I know it's something you're

passionate about. I know it's something that you're, you know, trying to figure out how to do it best. Jones season, uh, is about to air. One quick question. Are you excited to watch it? So excited. I bet. Um, how do you hope, I guess the show now as we're learning kind of what it's going to look like and the stories are going to be shared and we're going to have a lot of widows and widowers of and that have crazy stories to tell that are going to be impactful but also just you know heartbreaking how do you hope the show kind of supports or how do you how do you hope these stories are shared i guess on television and what do you hope people do with it as they watch well i hope it's inspirational i hope they see that you can go through this horrific loss

and you can see, I don't think they should focus on it, but I think it should be addressed. And maybe more so than it was, my opinion, or find out the whole story. What was their life like? Just a glimpse of it. And then moving forward on a positive note,

and now you get to have this opportunity and go forward. And I think that, I think America, this is my opinion, likes love stories, obviously. And I just hope that with, you know, the first Golden Bachelor that I was on, you know, there's also all these other things that the younger people don't have.

There's two people in their 60s or 70s who have a home over here and then you're meeting a guy on the other coast and then you've got grandchildren and family and everybody, how does that work? And I think that's, something to think about because you can't just say, oh, I'm moving over to you because you've already established this huge family. But I think my hope is that it gives other people hope

that yes, you know, we all have lost and we all, but hopefully you'll meet somebody else. And I've met a lot of other people who I never thought I would meet and are friends with. Yeah. When you say that I have a memory, I did a something that was never aired, but I filmed kind of a watch party episode with Gary where we jumped in a bus and went to all these homes and sororities. Oh, right. I remember that. And we walked into one home and there was a lady there who just lost her husband, I think three years previously. And we walked into this watch party. And she was kind of sitting off to the side. And at some point, she came up to Gary and myself. And she just looked at Gary and said, hey, what you're doing here, like is giving me hope again. And she's just

crying so she's seeing you know what could be uh and what the opportunities are for her and she's seeing people you know courageous enough to go try it on tv i think it's incredibly courageous i'm very excited that you did it thank you and i think also they see like i'm taking up golf i do have a golf coach he's daniel sim he's in the amateur world but um i would have never done that because of all of this. I played pickleball. I would have never done that. So you're also not sitting on the couch and staying in.

I think it also shows that you really do have to get out and put yourself out there and try new things. I think it's a great piece of advice. Simple yet can change everything. Just put yourself out there. You never know. Go be active. It's not too late.

Hey, Nancy, it's awesome to have you here. I really appreciate it. Thank you. It was a pleasure. Yeah, thanks for coming to hang out. Thank you. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcast on IHartRadio, or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious.

Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't try. Trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I was diagnosed with cancer on Friday and cancer free the next Friday. No chemo, no radiation, none of that. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy. behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. Professionally, I started at Deadwell Records. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perception.

and give you new insight on the people around you. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of you. I'll take it all! I'm Manny.

I'm Noah. This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me.

I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. No such thing. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. This is an IHeart podcast.