The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - I Do, I Don’t, I DO!

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

RHONJ's Jennifer Fessler revealed all to us recently about the problems in her marriage, the separation, and the reunion (HERE) …but NOW she’s joined by her husband Jeff, to get his side of the story!   From regrets to reconciliation they let us in on what works and what doesn’t. What has changed since they got back together? Advice for you if you’re on the brink…and don’t know which way to go.This Jersey couple is telling you how to avoid divorce!  Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, it's Daniel Fischel. Writer Strong. And Will Ferdell from PodMeets World. We are back in Las Vegas and giving the people what they want, a full week of Y2K content. Tell me why. Well, for the Backstreet Boys residency at Sphere, of course.

We joke and say this is our second marriage, but it takes a lot of communication. Plus, it's carrot top, baby. And finally, Ashley Simpson-Ross joins us to talk about her upcoming sold-out Vegas residency. Listen to PodMeets World on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison

or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, we own you. Listen to shock incarceration on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. But it happens all the time to people just like you.

And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc and I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the hosts of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, form. believers and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Celebrity Mentors, Jen Fessler from Real Housewives of New Jersey and the podcast I co-host to Jersey Jays.

And this is very exciting. You all heard me probably tell my story of how my husband Jeff and I met, got married, and then took a little marriage detour and then found our way back to each other. So today I am bringing in my husband, Jeff, because we're going to chat a little bit more about the part two of it all. Hi, Jeff Fessler. Hello. How are you doing? I'm doing fine. So let me just tell our listeners that this is not necessarily your, not venue of choice.

No. No. So to know us both is to know that Jeff Fessler is way more of an introvert than I am. And would you say that that's true? Certain social situations, yes. Really? Yes. Well, I mean, right, social situations, work situations.

All of a sudden, my husband becomes chatty Kathy, which is. serve to annoy me. So, yeah, this is not really your thing. So thank you for joining me. I will tell you guys, though, that being on TV and part of the Housewives of New Jersey, Jeff has enjoyed just as much, if not more than I have. No one really gets it, but right? Well, yeah, it's a little bit different than what I do on a daily basis. It is. It's very interesting. It is. Jeff's an attorney. It's fun. Right, right. So, all right, just to kind of refresh you guys, I'll tell you a little bit in case you

haven't heard the story about our marriage, separation, reconciliation, jump in at any point if I get anything wrong. I will. So seven years into our marriage, which was so cliche, right, the seven-year itch, we hit a rough patch. Right. And I don't know. We were not communicating, right?

We were kind of doing our own thing. Two young children. Yes. I was working all the time. Yes. And I was. With the two young children. Excuse me?

You were with the two young children. Oh, I thought you said you were working with the two young children. No, you were with the two young children. I was definitely with the two young children. And I was kind of doing this cougar thing where, and there were a lot of women who I was friends with in my town. And for whatever reason, like we were always going out on. Thursday nights, right? Getting decked out, going out for, I don't know, birthdays, but also just to go out and flirt.

And I tell you all of that because it's not to justify it, but there was, so there was some infidelity in our marriage. And it did actually, which no one ever believes. It did start with Jeff Fessler. It did. It did. So, I mean, I don't know. Well, let me tell you the story first. I'll tell you the sort of full picture.

So that happened. And that definitely happened. So let's just leave it at that. That happened and that's it. Just keep moving on. That was not it. What's next? That was not it.

So that happened and that was obviously devastating. Sorry, dude, but you know, you play. For both. Yes. For both of us. Yes. We stayed together for a little while after it happened. right? Yeah, yeah, that's that's the rough patch.

That was definitely rough. Yes. Yes, it was. Yes. And then at some point, I went to Florida with the kids, not at some point, over the summer that year. You went for the summer. And I went to go see my sister, my best friend. I was like, I'm just going to stay for the summer, got this, rented this little townhouse, and put the kids in camp with some of their friends, and just had myself. a good old time. Yeah. I guess. I guess. I wasn't there. Yes, you weren't there.

And I whipped it up. Yes. And ended up meeting this guy, nice guy, and started something. And basically Jeff came to visit that summer. And I said, listen, it's over.

We... No. Not that summer. Remember, we went to Disney, we took the kids Disney. Yeah, but that wasn't that summer. Yes, it was. continued until like December.

You mean we stayed together until December? Yeah. But I remember that conversation because it was not an easy conversation. Anyway, so we were officially separated as about December. Jeff moved into the city for what we... In March of 2009. See, I don't remember the dates. I actually think it's very sweet that you remember the exact dates.

Everything. So Jeff moved out, moved into the city, and my boyfriend moved from Florida to New Jersey. Can I just say, by the way, There's a lot that went down that I regret, although, you know, not supposed to really believe in regrets, but I would do things very differently today. But so my boyfriend at the time moved to New Jersey and Jeff was in the city doing his thing with his girlfriend and the kids were going back and forth. And the truth is the entire time that we were separated, it wasn't, I guess, what. Wait, wait, wait. You skipped. So I moved into the city and then was, you know, I was working and doing whatever and then I started going out and then found somebody.

It wasn't like. What's the difference? It wasn't the person with, it wasn't the person. Oh, no. Oh, God. Right. No, it wasn't. Yes. Yes. No, it definitely wasn't that person. That's a whole other. Yeah, that's crazy. That's a whole other. Right. Yes. So yes. Exactly. That's true. But I will say that the whole time. Jeff never wanted to get separated. No. And so, you know, it wasn't, I don't think it was typical in that, like, you look at the PK and

door read of it all, right? Well, yeah, you watch Beverly Hills. And the way that they're starting to go after each other, we just never had that. We didn't really even get into the money, right? We just didn't, like, we were, like, getting, we were going to get divorced and it wasn't like this. Well, I do remember one thing. Oh, God.

is we did go. You know what, enough of you on this podcast? We did go to a mediator. Right. And it was the only time we went, I think. No, we went more than once. There's a couple times. Okay.

Went to a mediator. And then you were like, basically, well, this is what I want this. And then she said, well, you have to leave something for him. For him. For him? For him. That's 50-50. Me.

Wait, what? Oh, yes, that's true. She's like, you have to leave something for him. I hate that you remember that. Yes, I do remember that. Yeah, so I guess apparently I was being very piggish about it. But, you know, you're scared when you're in the middle of that. As you can imagine, it's very scary, very scary to not have worked for, you know, seven years, although I did work part-time and not know how the future will pan out.

And other than GLP ones, it's a great weight loss. Oh, Jeff got very, very skinny. Very skinny. I remember feeling so badly about that. But you were actually happy about that part. I was thrilled. But we just like, we never fought. I remember once, like the kids were in the car and they called me to complain about him.

I don't know where you guys were going, but Rachel called and she was like, Daddy's doing this or whatever. And I'm like, honey, you got through, you dialed the wrong number. You think that you're going to complain about Jeff Vessler to me, the world's greatest father. So, you know, there was never really this horrible animosity, even with the cheating and whatever else had gone down. No, there was something underlying it. There was, we were sad. Yes. We were just both so sad.

And so we would, whatever, talk in the phone. And I would tell my boyfriend at the time, like I'm going to mediation, and I would meet Jeff at Chili's. And, like, I'm thinking I'm cheating on my boyfriend with my husband. On the border. On the border. You're right. Wasn't there one time Chili's when we met? We saw Leon.

No, it was on the border. No, it wasn't. Chilies? Let's not fight. When we saw Leon that time. Anyway, it doesn't matter. TGA Fridays. Okay.

Yes, it was TGA Fridays. Anyway. So, you know, and the guy I was seeing was very invested in the relationship, and we were, we were serious. and, you know, he was very good to me and Jeff and his girlfriend were maybe not as serious. I don't know, but it just wasn't right. Like, I just didn't want to ever pull the plug. And I knew that Jeff didn't.

And my entire family, by the way, I will tell you this, they all sided with Jeff, which was totally, Jeff was never closer to my mother than during this time. No, no, yeah, absolutely. They all supported him, everybody. Oh, yeah. Not everybody. Pretty much everybody.

Our friends. Why is that? Why do you think that was? I'm me or you That's very likable I'm not At that point Maybe you weren't

Okay they all I think that they all also I guess they knew how badly You wanted to get back together So I would say long story short But this is turning out to be long story long We are on a boat going to Martha's Vineyard Nantucket

We were meeting Janine The kids were with her Do you remember this? Yeah We were on the ferry and I don't know why we were together because we weren't at that point back together but you said something to me you're like

I don't know you don't understand what we're doing now is such something like is so such a shame Shonda is a Jewish word for it but because we can be so good and we can have the best life and that just I don't know

it resonated with me and so soon after that I just got to the point where I was like, I just want, I just want my life back. Well, it happened when we were, the Jamaica. Well, I went on vacation with my boyfriend to St. Bart's, the most glorious, you know, island in the world. And Jeff's with the kids to Jamaica, like beaches, Jamaica. And I just wanted to be in Jamaica with my husband and my kids.

I feel bad about it because, again, my boyfriend was a very nice guy, but it, you know, he's married now, so that's okay. Anyway, so we got back together. We did. We did. We got back to the summer 2010? 2010. We were separated for how long?

Like a year and a half? A year and a half, yeah. Yeah. So, you know, things definitely have changed in our marriage. We got back together and we immediately moved out of our house to another house in the same town that we live in. we just wanted to kind of move on. The kids, I will say, we told them while they were away at sleepway camp, and they were so happy.

One thing I never predicted, because I come from a family of lots and lots of divorce. So my parents have been divorced, not just from each other, but more than once. And so I don't know why I thought they got divorced when I was three. And I didn't predict how I would feel in terms of the kids. and their sadness, because for me, I guess I thought I adjusted. Maybe I just didn't remember, but I don't remember ever being sad about it. It was just my way of life, you know, and the kids were so sad. And that was certainly, that was the hardest part, watching them miss their dad, and it broke my heart.

And I'm sure anybody who's been divorced, you know, feels that, of course. But I remember telling them that we're getting back together on visiting day and promising them that it would never happen again. Right. I remember that. And then we left a day when they got home. Right. I don't know if that was the best time. We did the best. They got home. Yes, they got home to a new house. I don't know if that was the healthiest way to handle it, but we did the best we could. Not buying a new house?

No, just like, okay, we're getting back together. Okay, go back to soccer and theater and we'll see you in three weeks. It did work out. It did work out. Thankfully, it did work out. So, anyway, that was our journey. So, but let's talk about it what it's like now. So what would you say has been the biggest change? I mean, we've been back together for quite some time. We've married 25 years.

But what do you think is different than those initial seven? We definitely communicate better. And I said that the other day, but you laughed at me. Because, oh, come on, no way. I don't know if that's it. I don't know what we can do. I mean, I don't even know what that means. I don't remember the first seven years.

Did we not communicate? I mean, I guess we were just so busy doing our own thing. Yes. It was working. I mean, yes. I mean, having the kids in the house and young at that age. Yeah, but we still have the kids in the house. Not now.

I don't know. So you think it was communicate. I feel like it was just gratitude. The thing is, it was like getting my best friend back. It's, yeah, it's like, it's like, I still think about it. You do? Sure. You never, ever say that to me.

me. It took a podcast for you to say that to me. When do you think about it? You think about it and you're like, you're relieved that you haven't, didn't go through with that. Well, time. That's a nice thing to say. I do think about it too. And I think that the people that love us think about it. Because there always, you know, my aunt is always like, you made the best choice ever. You went through hell when you came out the other side. Yeah, I know. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly. And now, I'm seriously suspicious. Well, wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit.

Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age.

And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hello, it's Daniel Official. Rider Strong. And Wilfredel from PodMeets World. And we're bringing you Viva Las Content. That's right. We are back in Las Vegas, the city of Sims. and giving the people what they want. A full week of Y2K content.

Wait, we're back in Vegas? Tell me why. Well, for the Backstreet Boys residency at Sphere, of course. We sat down with Kevin Richardson and A.J. McLean just minutes before they took the stage, and our very own Wilfredel basically became the newest member of the band. Boy band, please. Plus, the man who has the longest running comedy show on the strip joins us and gets his props. It's carrot top, baby.

And finally, we all, L-O-V-E-Hur, Ashley Simpson-Ross, joins us to talk about her upcoming sold-out Vegas residency. It's a full week of nostalgic interviews you don't want to miss. Listen to PodMeets World on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. December 29th, 1975, LaGuardia Airport. The holiday rush. Parents hauling luggage.

kids gripping their new Christmas toys. Then, at 6.33 p.m., everything changed. There's been a bombing at the TWA terminal. Apparently, the explosion actually impelled metal glass. The injured were being loaded into ambulances. Just a chaotic, chaotic scene. In its wake, a new kind of enemy emerged, and it was here to stay. Terrorism.

Law and order criminal justice system is back. In season two, we're turning our focus to a threat that hides in plain sight. That's harder to predict and even harder to stop. Listen to the new season of Law and Order Criminal Justice System on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I don't write songs. God write songs. I take dictation.

I didn't even know you've been a pastor for over 10 years. I think culture is any space that you live in that develops you. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. This is like watching Michael Jackson talk about Thurley before it happened. Was there a particular moment where you realized just how instrumental music culture was to shaping all of our global ecosystem.

I was eight years old, and the Motown 25 special came on. And all the great Motown artists, Marvin, Stevie Wonder, Temptations, Diana Raw. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture Raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebene and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all, childhood trauma, addiction, abuse,

incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on the street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast.

It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. A lot of married couples we always hear saying that, you know, you have to date your spouse. And there has to, you have to put aside, I guess, some time. I don't know, once a week to go out on a date.

And people always ask me, like, how we got back together and why is it different? And I mean, I don't think that we do that. What date? Date night. No. No, no, date night. I don't think so either. No.

I mean, we have like, well, now. I mean, Fridays and Saturdays, maybe we're not. We'll go out, but during the week, no. But it's not even, but it's not like a planned date. And plus, we're empty nesters. Yeah. So, so you do anything you want. That's different.

But we never did that. We never had like an official date night. And the truth is we, we felt like going out. Date night's forced kind of. You think? People swear by it. I don't know. I mean, we.

You're forcing yourself to do it. No, I know what date night. Yeah. Me, yeah. Well, it was forced. Yeah, we're all connecting. I don't actually. I don't know.

And the other piece is that like we would get to Saturday night and half the time and Jeff is like always excited to go out and be social because he doesn't get to during the week and he's just work,

work, work. And I'm just, all I want to do on Saturday night is sit on the couch, which is always what I want to do every day, sit on the couch and watch a movie and lay in the bed.

Yes. So that's, okay, so I'm not, by the way, I'm not advocating for any of this. We're just telling you what works for us. So I don't know if you're thinking of a separation or you're in the middle of one.

So, you know, half the time we make plans, then I feel guilty because I just don't want to go out, right? Yes. Yeah, we'll make plans and then at like, you know, four or five o'clock, like, yeah, I don't feel like going. I know. And I do feel badly about that. There's that song, though, by, is it Luke Holmes? Yes, Luke Holmes. What is it called?

Beautiful, beautiful crazy? Yes, beautiful crazy. I think that it describes me perfectly, not the beautiful part. It does, the coffee and the whole thing. Yes, coffee every morning, wine at night. Anyway, I digress. So, I don't know that we do date night, but the thing is, and also, in, so Jeff works from home, maybe Fridays, maybe he's occasionally more than that. So during the week, he's up and like a robot, every day since the day I met him, 5.30, boom, up.

take the shower, do the push-ups, get dressed, go to work, comes home late, usually around what, 8 o'clock? Yeah. Comes upstairs, says hi, goes back downstairs, back to the office. So I'm always in bed. That's something else. But watching TV and eating or whatever it is I'm doing. So it's not like we're on top of each other all week.

No. Talk a couple times during the day on the phone. I don't know that that's good or bad. It's just us. It works. It just does, right? Yes. I don't know why.

It works, but we don't, we're not on top of each other all week. And even when you're home working, like we come out, we see each other, back to the office, back to the bedroom. Maybe that separation works. If we work together, like all day. If we were together, no, I kill you. You're right. That wouldn't work. Yeah, that would definitely, no, it wouldn't work.

We had gone during COVID, I think. We're forced to. That's very true. Yes. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, that's, and then on the weekends, we go out. I never feel like one thing that I love about you is that I never feel pressed to do anything.

Like you're so easy. Growing up, all I wanted to do was like lay in the bed and read books. And I remember my mom would get so frustrated with me. And I always had this feeling that I was so lazy. But you just don't seem to care. You never shame me. You do your own thing. I eat in the bed.

You don't care. I don't know. When those crumbs get on my side of the bed, I do care. You know, that's, I don't know. We don't pressure each other. I feel like we don't. It's very just kind of like accepting. And then when something happens during the day, so either I'm rushing downstairs to the office to tell you about it or you're rushing upstairs to tell me about it. It could be anything. It could be something about the kids. It could be something about the housewives. Now Jeff is like a reality. show aficionado. Not really. Which is just weird. Okay. Not really.

You 100% stop it. Just stop. Not really. Okay. Anyway. There's a couple I watch and that's it. A couple. Okay.

He's into The Bachelor. He watches it with my dog. No. Not so much anymore. Anyway, we're not on top of each other, but we're always kind of connecting, checking in. And we laugh a lot. Like, we make fun of each other a lot.

Jeff and I, we have this schick where, and people are always, are always, I don't know, I think sometimes people are, like, taken aback by it. You know what I'm talking about? No. Yes, you do. We give each other's shit all the time. Let me give each other. Like what?

Make fun of each other. Go. Okay, simmer down. Go. Like that. Like, I don't know. Like, people that he walks in the room, I'm like, oh, hello, Jeffrey. And then he'll, he just makes fun of me constantly.

Sometimes he'll come up to the bedroom and he'll, like, tuck me in like like press it around there just to make fun we make fun of each other a lot you know that we do why you're lying if that's what you're talking about yes well as opposed to what i don't know i don't say you're short and well you do i do yeah yeah my daughter is dating someone who is on he's not short like you're short on the shorter side so i'm constantly like in front of jeff being like why would you date a short guy like what in why aren't you looking for someone tall and dashing and I mean no apparently not

well he's very cute yeah her boyfriend but anyway and he's not I don't God forbid they're listening he's not short he's taller than Jack but he's not tall my one requirement when I was dating back in the day maybe if he was fixing me up on a blind date I would be like he doesn't have to be

extraordinarily well he doesn't be wealthy has to be ambitious he doesn't have to be the life of the party he just has to be tall well There you go. You missed down on all those.

My thought. You're very ambitious. Yes, I am. Okay. Yes. So, I don't know. Do you think that the separation saved our marriage? Like, would you do it again?

Would I go through that again? Knowing what I know now? No. No, it was hell. It was hell. But do you think we would be like, like you said, you still think about it. I still think about it. There's so much gratitude for it.

not grad i wouldn't say it's gratitude i would say it's it's it's it's it helped through relationship i mean would it maybe maybe this would have happened later maybe this would have happened later on and we wouldn't be able to go through with it i don't know what you're talking about i don't know i don't know i am not i wouldn't wish it upon anyone and i wouldn't want to experience it again you said would i go through it again no no no No, I wouldn't, I'm saying if it was a choice between going through it or not going through it, because I think our marriage wouldn't have changed. Like, we wouldn't have had this gratitude necessarily. That's correct.

Right. So, we're grateful to have gone through it. Okay, anyway, moving, yes. Yeah, that's, I don't know about that. I know you don't. Sometimes I said him, I don't know how you get through your day. He can't connect the dots. No, I can't.

Except in work. Um, I don't know. I don't, again, I wouldn't want to go through it again, but I think that it did change everything. And you guys, I don't know, whoever's listening, they say that you get divorced and not for everybody, but when nothing else matters. Like you just can't, you don't care about the money. You know, you think to yourself, I don't want to set this example for my kids. Um, or you go into the marriage and you know it's not going to work. Plenty of people have that. happen. Say what? You go into a marriage and you know it's not going to work. Who goes into a marriage and knows it's not going to work? Like who? I know other people.

Like who? I'm not saying, but I know. It happens. Well, back at our, so Jeff was, I was 31 when we got married. Yeah. Jeff was 36. Right. And so we were both dying to get married.

I was like, my biological clock was ticking. Like I wanted to get knocked up before we walked down the aisle just so I could trap him. I don't want to backing out. Right. Right. We waited four months later. We were pregnant. Right.

Right. But listen, I'm not advocating for separation or divorce, but I think it's not just for us for the kids. I'm so grateful that we found our way back. There's something to be said for having, being together for all of these years, especially, I guess, when it comes to the kids, right? Right. Right. Well, there's other, right? There's other celebrity couples who've done the same thing that we went through. Got separated? Got separated and came back. We're not just FYI. We're not really a celebrity couple as much as you like to tell you.

No, I'm just saying, not other celebrity. There's other examples of this out there. So, for instance, Ben Stiller and his wife, I love them. Right. Right? They separated and got back together. Yeah. I mean, I don't know the details of it. Who else? That's true. That's it. Jaylo and Ben, yes, but that's not a great example. Thank you, Heather. I appreciate that, but we're not aspiring to that.

And I don't know. I mean, it's not easy. I got tons of phone calls from women in my town after we got back together. And women that I did not know and saying, hi, my name is Jane Doe. Your daughter was in preschool with my daughter. I'm really sorry to bother you. But do you think we can talk? I'm considering a divorce or a separate.

Maybe you should write a book. Maybe I'll do a podcast. Why don't you write a book? You write a book. You write a book. So I think that divorce is brutal. And I think if you think that there's a shot, there is really something to be said for staying together. And it's not perfect.

So let me just say that. People ask all the time, you know, what is it like now? Are you hanging from the chandeliers? Like, you know, we didn't start, we didn't get back together. And all of a sudden, we're having sex three times a day and jetting off to exotic locations. Oh, we travel a lot together. Yes. That's one of our things.

We did jet off to Vietnam. We did recently jet off to Vietnam for our 25th anniversary. I would highly recommend Vietnam for anyone. Anyway, but, I mean, it didn't change like that. I think that, but I think if you. can make it work and think that there is still a chance I would recommend it.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, but I mean, there's people who should be divorced. Of course. And they know it. Yes. Of course. You know, this wouldn't work for them. But if there's still a chance, there's still a possibility, you should definitely give it a shot.

I have friends who got divorced and I look at it and I think you were going through very similar things that we were. And I do think to myself that they probably regret it. Yeah, they probably do. Right.

And won't we admit it. And don't think that we're telling anyone what to do. We're not experts on anything. But, well, Jeff is an expert in some things. So am I. More things than you. I don't know about that. Anyway, but we're not experts on this.

So again, I would just say it's been my life. I can't imagine my life if we had gotten divorced. and I am so proud of us. I agree. I am too. That's nice. And we have our stuff that's like, it's not like our relationship changed so dramatically.

I think we got just grateful. Like we are always best friends. That's what it is. It's grateful for each other. That's the two. I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud that you're my husband. I'm proud that we have been together this long.

I respect you so much. Like, I don't, I feel very lucky to have you for so many reasons and stop picking your nails. And that's not one of the reasons. But I definitely think about that all the time. And I'm proud of how smart you are. I'm proud of how hard you work. I'm the most proud of the kind of father you are. Okay, now it's your turn.

Jump in. or don't. I'm proud you got this wonderful job with Real House. You are. You are. And it's a great podcast and no, I'm actually proud of your achievement of what you've done. I appreciate that. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So, we'll find out soon.

This person writes, My boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor,

and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, it's Daniel Official.

Rider Strong. And Will Ferdell from PodMeets World. And we're bringing you Viva Las Content. That's right. We are back in Las Vegas, the city of sin, and giving the people what they want. A full week of Y2K content. Wait, we're back in Vegas? Tell me why?

Well, for the Backstreet Boys' residency at Sphere, of course. We sat down with Kevin Richardson and A.J. McLean just minutes before they took the stage, and our very own Wilfredel basically became the newest member of the band. Boy band, please. Plus, the man who has the longest running comedy show on the strip joins us and gets his props. It's carrot top, baby. And finally, we all L-O-V-E-Hur. Ashley Simpson-Ross joins us to talk about her upcoming sold-out.

Vegas Residency. It's a full week of nostalgic interviews you don't want to miss. Listen to PodMeets World on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. December 29th, 1975, LaGuardia Airport. The holiday rush, parents hauling luggage, kids gripping their new Christmas toys. Then, at 6.33 p.m., everything changed. There's been a bombing at the TWA terminal. Apparently, the explosion actually impelled metal glass.

The injured were being loaded into ambulances, just a chaotic, chaotic scene. In its wake, a new kind of enemy emerged, and it was here to stay. Terrorism. Law and order, criminal justice system is back. In season two, we're turning our focus to a threat that hides in plain sight. That's harder to predict and even harder to stop. Listen to the new season of Law and Order Criminal Justice System on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Culture eats strategy for breakfast. I would love for you to share your breakdown on pivoting. We feel sometimes like we're leaving a part of us behind when we enter a new space, but we're just building. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Volusia Butterfield, media founder, political strategist, and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman who worked really hard to be able to say that. I'd love for you to break down.

Why was so important for you to do, see you can't win as something you didn't create. From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys, Belisha's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. A very fake, capital-driven environment and society will have a lot of people tell half-truths. I'm telling you, I'm on the energy committee. Like, if the energy is not right, we're not doing it, whatever that it is. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are

set free. I'm Ebeney and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on the street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal.

He was shot in his house unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. also like we're so used to each other so when we travel for instance um we have the same rhythm like yeah we probably couldn't travel with other people our friends travel and they travel in groups sometimes and we've said no okay he said no more than i have but yeah we travel

we have the same rhythm like we know we both of us we get up in the morning there's only a certain an amount of sightseeing that we do. We're very centered around our meals. It's all about breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Where are we eating them? What's, and where, when, right? Yes. I mean, we sightsee, but I don't let you make me crazy.

Well, because he maps everything out. And then we hit those spots. And he has to push me sometimes. Like, I'm like, okay, I cannot do one more museum. Right. Or whatever. One more landmark. Right.

And if you don't want to go, then I'll go about myself. Yes. And that's fine. It's not always fine. And now I'll come back and I'll tell you about anybody like, oh. We're in Paris and you wanted to go to, what do you call it? What? Paris.

You wanted to go to, we were in Paris. Oh, Normandy. Normandy, sorry. And I was dreading it. We're supposed to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning and go to Normandy. It was the last thing I felt like doing. I'm not really a mystery back. It was, yeah, we literally flew in, got there early in the morning to Paris.

fell sleep for the entire day, and then that night couldn't sleep. Nope. And at 5 a.m., we were like, forget it. Yep. Well, you were like, forget it, because I have to say... You were going to go. I was going to go. I would have complained the entire time, but I was going to...

There was one time that we were in Charleston, and we loved Charleston. We ended up buying a house there that we unfortunately recently just sold. But anyway, we were in Charleston, and Jeff wanted to do a historical tour of the city. And it was hot out. And we got a tour guide. And for whatever reason, I was getting mosquito bites. And he was so into it. And they were walking, him and our tour guide were walking ahead of me.

And every time he turned around, I like shot in the bird. Every time. I was so curious. He was very angry. I know. But it was very interesting. For Jeff. So I don't care.

I know. She didn't, yes. But like, that's part of it. He does laugh at me. We do. I mean, we laugh at each other. Yes, we laugh at each other. Especially when I trip and, you know, on the fall. Oh, the best thing is when he falls, I die.

That's it. There's nothing better than when he trips and falls. It doesn't happen that often, but when it does, I love it. Yeah. Soon I'll be like, you know, in like what, 18 years I'll be 80. I'm a trip and fall, break my hip, and she'll be there laughing. It's good. No, no, I won't because then I'll have to take care of you.

Also, this is interesting, I think, but like Jeff's parents were together. until they both very, very unfortunately and sadly passed. But I don't think a man ever loved a woman as much as Max Vess Vessler loved Phyllis Fessler. I mean, he was the best example of a father and a husband. And there are certain things that he always did with Phyllis, that my mother-in-law that I just admired. Like he always, always kissed her on the lips, hello and goodbye. and every morning with my bad breath

and the whole thing I kiss you goodbye every morning every morning that's silly but like for some reason it's like a thing he always brings me coffee

when he's home when I'm home and when we're away this morning at the hotel like it's just he goes and gets the coffee every time and every morning

that he's home and we sit in bed especially on the weekends Sunday we watch Saturday Night Live and we watch the news Saturdays and Sundays even Fridays

We watch Saturday night because we can't watch it on Saturday night because... I'm sleeping. Well, at 5 o'clock when we were having plans, she canceled them, and we went up to bed, and went to sleep, and we missed everything. Yeah, I sleep a lot. Yes. I can't help it. You do sleep a lot.

I do sleep a lot. I do sleep. I do not at all. No. Yeah. What do you think that you're going to, I'm going to ask you this question and you're just going to give me an annoying answer, but what do you think the, what are the keys to having a long-lasting marriage?

you're going to say communication and I'm going to throw up a little I don't know I mean if we fight if we fight we don't make sure we wake up before we go to bed no no I don't care

I go to bed holding a grudge all the time all the time I'll give a shit yes which I don't like well I don't know that I'm going to be able to change that at 56 years old no you get upset that we go to sleep angry yeah

but then I go to sleep and then you wake up and you're like it's like nothing ever happened I did not, and I do apologize. I'm a good apologizer. Like, nothing ever happened. That's not true. Yeah, you do. But you can be that face sometimes.

He does this thing and the kids make fun of it. He's like, oh, like he's upset. You wake up in the morning. Depends on the fight. And then I'll remind you, oh, yeah. And then you started to it. Well, that's also when I'm drinking at night. I've had too much wine and we get into a fight.

And then I'm like, yeah, I was a fucking bitch last night. Or alternatively, I am mad. That's not true in the morning. But I do try to take accountability. So do you. That's a key. It's never me. Except that it's never him.

Same freaking Jeffrey. And everyone thinks he's a saint. I am. I have to say, that's annoying. You are not a saint. We have very different views when it comes to money. I believe in spending it. He believes in not spending it.

Right. And that's definitely been a challenge in our marriage. That has been a challenge. That has been a challenge. It continues to be a challenge. The good news is, I mean, I always, I worked, I worked as a recruiter. Then I started a business and I certainly didn't make money off of F major, but, well, now I sort of am. No.

Okay, well, anyway, I have a business. A couple sales doesn't. Jeffrey, it's not a cut. Okay, shopfmager.com. There were just a lot of costs, but you were very supportive. Yeah. But, yeah, I always worked, though. But yes, now I'm making some money and so I feel no obligation.

to save a dime. Right. With all the glam, the dresses and all that. But I say, I'm like, what do you want for me? You want me to do this? I have to do it. Right. That's your excuse.

That's why you're doing it, because you get dresses every time. Thank you. An outfit. Thank you. A new outfit. Thank you. It's like there's rooms with cloth.

There is. We have a couple of rooms that I had to put up those hanging things. Yeah, it's crazy. But I'm also, I can also spend on very stupid things, but Jeff is such a saver. So we balanced. other out. It was up to me. I would have bankrupted us by now. So we recently discussed on this pot, or it's been, not we, it's been recently discussed on this pod that there is this topic

of being sleep divorced, right? Where like couples who sleep in separate bedrooms have get along better, have stronger marriages. What do you think of that? Maybe because it's separation. Maybe because that's why I go to work. That's where I'm at work all day. It's not why you go to work. No, it's not why I go to work. But because of that. But I'm talking about separation. Would you be interested in sleeping? But that's the separation. Would you be interested in sleeping in separate bedrooms? No.

Me neither. I don't know. People love that. I mean, but we also, I don't know, you stay on your side. I stay on my side. I do sometimes in the middle of the night get worked up thinking that he might be dead. And so I kick him sometimes hard. Yeah, that's something to wake up.

That's definitely a wake up. I just want to make sure he's breathing. Yeah. Or like. It's hard enough to go to sleep. Then in the middle of night to get kicked and wake up. It's like, okay, now I'm up. I try to make sure.

I try not to do it too hard, but yeah, I get nervous. Yeah. Or I tend to like be, wake up because I'm just riddled with anxiety. So I could feasibly wake up screaming at some point, some nightmare. Well, that happens, yes. That happens. But I still wouldn't want to sleep in a different room. Also, when you travel, I hate when you travel and I have to sleep alone at night.

I don't know why because you are a very, you're a strong man. but if somebody breaks in, I don't see you being able to fight. I don't want to insult you, but... Oh, we got two cats. We have two cats, so they'll take care of it. But, like, I can't. I'm so, I get so nervous when you travel. I hate it.

I don't like sleeping alone. That's why there's an alarm. Whatever. Yeah. But, so, I don't know, you guys. This is, you know, this is our story. I always get people that are just loved to hear it, because maybe it's encouraging and I think it's, it's interesting.

It doesn't happen every day. No. I mean, I do part two. This whole podcast is about the second time around, and this is our, sort of our second time around. I don't know if it's second time around. It is a second. There was a break. Well, that's the second time around.

Okay. I mean, you know. But you did it differently the second time around. We did. Maybe. Yeah. I think it's all, it was just gratitude. Yes.

gratitude for what you have and a realization of what you have, yes. Yeah. And we also, again, the best friend thing, I think that's personally more than anything else is that I like you. I love you, but I really like you. And I don't like anybody else the way I like you. Like I am not, my friend, I have really close friends. So I can be my complete self-with, but not in the same way.

We are, we just, I just enjoy you. not always. Sometimes I can't stand you. But for the most part, I mean, that's the part that I think is the strongest for you. I think that it's the strongest, yes. Anyway, you guys, that's us. That's all the time we have. But this is us. We love each other and we love you guys. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you. This is a big date night. First date night we've had in. Well, you've been to awards shows. I've never been to one. Yeah, never taken you before. No. You owe me big. Right. Okay. Here's the date night. All right. So are you thinking about getting back together with your ex or

reconciling after a separation and needs some advice, call us or email us, follow us on socials. All the information will be in the show notes. Make sure to rate and review the podcast, please. I do part two, an IHeart podcast where falling in love is the main objective. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, it's Daniel Fischel. Writer Strong. And Wilfredel from PodMeets World. We are back in Las Vegas and giving the people what they want, a full week of Y2K content.

Tell me why. Well, for the Backstreet Boys residency at Sphere, of course. We joke and say this is our second marriage, but it takes a lot of communication. Plus, it's carrot top, baby. And finally, Ashley Simpson-Ross joins us to talk about her upcoming sold-out Vegas residence. Listen to PodMeets World on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips.

And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercoms the podcast for you. for you. Open your free iHeartRadio

app, search emergency intercom, and listen now. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center

of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult.

But it happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the hosts of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week, we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on Exactly Right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.