The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - If you want good advice about Rush you better listen.
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There was no anything inside those eyes.
They turned black.
It scared the hell out of me.
Evil, wake up.
I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Krivac and DePippo.
Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse,
appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum.
I said, I'm not guilty.
I'll take it to the grave.
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Your husband is not who you think he is.
Your body is not what you thought it was.
Your identity is formed by a secret history.
I'm Danny Shapiro.
And these are just a few of the stunning stories I'll be exploring on the 14th season of Family Secrets.
He kind of shoved me out of the way and said, move.
and he went out the front door
and he jumped in a car and drove off
and that was the last time I saw him.
Listen to season 14 of Family Secrets
on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
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Here's something that should not be as complicated as it is,
getting a racist statue removed.
And here's something that should be a whole lot easier than it is,
getting a new one put up in its place.
I'm Akila Hughes,
and Rebel Spirit, season two, is about both of those things.
As I was watching these statues come down,
I was thinking about what it meant that I grew up in a majority black city in which there were more
homages to enslavers than there were to enslave people.
Listen to Rebel Spirit Season 2 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your
podcasts.
Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth About Sorority Life with your host, me, Gia Judice,
Daisy Kent and Jennifer Fessler.
Okay, you guys, we're back with another episode of Dirty Rush.
I'm Daisy Kent, your host, and we have another episode.
out today with Trista and Megan, and we're going to be diving more into all the controversial advice
about recruitment and going through rush. So let's jump into the next one. So sorority solutions
introduces the idea that of the 99% rule, which simply means that it's most important
to have an answer that differs from what 99% of other people are going to say something that
is memorable. How do you balance being unique, but not coming off as unrelatable? I feel like that's like
same with like job interviews and stuff like you always want to be like the person that like stands out
and says something like 99% rule that caught my attention when I read that quote I'm like yeah
it's not 8020 I can work with that like right 99 true that's a lot of press right you're you're right
I think I'm unique but not that unique I know and do I really want to be that unique because I actually
want to fit in with all of these girls that's true
Right. That's true. I think like, I don't, I think just connecting with, um, with the individual is more important than making yourself and special. Like, whenever I think, I think about who do I like personally? Who do I enjoy spending time with? It always comes down to the people who talk about me.
Yeah. If they're curious about me, I'm like, oh, I like them.
So we can apply that.
I mean,
we can manipulate that and use it to our advantage and ask about other people.
Well, that's what that first question about like eye contact,
I feel like just showing it in an interest in them is so true.
Like that goes so far.
You're really wanting to make sure that you leave an impression.
And what better impression is there than making someone feel happy, like, or joyful?
or thankful that they spend that time with you.
Yeah, exactly.
And then remember the thing that they told you and ask them about it later.
That's how you'll be remembered.
Yeah.
Also, I think another great piece of advice and also life advice as well is complimenting people.
Like, how easy is a compliment?
It doesn't have to be anything serious or whatever other than like, I love your shirt.
Where did you get that?
Or whatever.
It doesn't matter.
but if you compliment someone and you are sincere,
because you don't want to come across as you're making it up, obviously.
Yeah.
But think of something that you can compliment them on.
And that always leaves an impression, I feel like.
And makes you feel good in the process.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, for sure.
Is there anything that happened?
Like, do you guys remember when you were on the other side of rush, like recruiting girls?
Was there anything that made you drop a girl, like, immediately?
I do remember being like in our back room and having the big meeting and their picture would come up on the screen and you'd have to talk about them.
Please, girls, I rushed, let's see, in 1991.
It's been quite a long time.
I do not remember much about my whole life, especially from 91.
But I will say that my whole life.
Yeah, my whole life.
I don't remember much.
But in 1991, oh my gosh.
I don't remember specifics, but I do know that any time, if anyone would ever, like, talk
badly about something, it really didn't have to be anything of interest to me.
But if they are bad talking, like bashing something or whatever, that just always gives me
a bad taste in my mouth. Like you were saying, Megan, about if, I really love hanging out with the people
who like talking about me. It's like, yeah, it's like if someone's talking bad about somebody else,
that just leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. Those are the people that I'm like,
I don't know if I want to invest my time in that person. Yeah. Yeah, I completely agree with that.
I mean, at Ole Miss, people would get blackballed for like dancing on taste.
tables, smoking cigarettes in public.
Like before recruitment started?
Yes.
Because at Ole Miss, it's rush happened after school had already started.
So you had to mind your peas and cues.
And Ole Miss was, is the southern land of the southern bells.
And they really meant it.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
But I mean, that's like that, I mean, take that and apply it to social media.
I mean, I know that we have a question about that too.
but like you just cleaning up your act on social media is the same way that I had to clean up my
act on campus when I was rushing.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, no, for sure.
I remember like, because at SCSU, I think it happens like a couple weeks after school starts
or it did when I was in it.
And I remember like all of like none of the girls that were doing recruitment could go out,
but like all of us freshman girls went out and we like meet all like the older guys and
stuff. And then I remember them, like, texting, like, girls that were in the sorority and were
like, oh, I'm going to tell them that you're, like, really cool. And I was like, this is so weird.
Sounds about right. Yeah. I would get, we, I literally met a fifth year. I thought I was, like,
so cool because I was, like, seeing this fifth year senior. And he had, had the pledges. This is, like,
before Ole Miss really cracked down on, on hazing. And the.
Pledges would drive me around. It was amazing. They would like hit me up. Oh, that's hysterical.
What's awesome. Like, whatever I needed. They would wash my friend's car. It was like, oh, no, the pledges will do it. We got you. I'm like, oh, my gosh.
Those are the best. That's like awesome. Honestly, like the pledges probably loved that, though.
I mean, did they? Yes, they did. You know, with like a cute girl. Yes. Yeah. That was not hazing in their mind.
Yeah. Probably by today's day.
definition it is for sure but yeah that's so funny okay so the next one bid bible bid bible says that
you should not reach out to active members but rather you put yourself out there by posting on
your own social media and on incoming freshman accounts to encourage them to reach out to you
is this BS or Bible like a chat room or something chat room or something I don't know I think it's like
I think they're just saying like you shouldn't like don't reach out to girls that are already in this
Yeah, I have heard that, that you're not supposed to engage in any kind of relationship,
friendship, friendship with people prior.
Yeah.
But what if you're, like, I have a question, what if you're friends with somebody already?
Are you just not supposed to talk to them?
I think if you're, like, friends already, I feel like that's fine, but, like, you don't
want to be, like, DMing, like, girls that are in the sorority or DMing the sorority
account.
Yeah.
Or maybe, like, commenting on the sorority account, I probably.
I wouldn't do that. I don't think.
No.
Is giving like pick me girl.
Yeah.
Totally.
Yes.
You do not want to be the pick me girl.
No.
Yeah.
Did you guys ever get any like unhinged messages or anything from like a P&M before
recruitment like began?
Well, you know I didn't because social media didn't even close to exist.
Social media came out with Facebook allowing dot edu log.
when I was a sophomore or junior.
So no, the media did not exist for me either.
Yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
I mean, girls, I don't even think we had computers at campus.
Maybe we had, maybe we had an old, like the big huge box computers, like that look like a box.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, a lot, a lot was different.
Yeah.
Even like from me to you, Trista, you know, 10 years.
It's nine years with, what is it? 91. 12 years different. I mean, that's significant in technology
years. Huge. Yes, huge. It is crazy how like fast things have advanced. Even like I think of
my siblings, like my little sister just graduated this year. My little brother is going to be a
senior. And even with like chat GBT and like AI stuff. Yeah. I'm like it's crazy.
It is. It's so crazy. It's, I don't know. It's a little bit scary to me, but all.
also, you know, obviously very helpful, but just, gosh, just all that's out there on social
media. I did see this post the other day. And someone was saying that they were scared that
their daughter or something, that someone would share a nude of their daughter. And they're like,
well, now AI can just make it up. It doesn't matter if it's actually real. You know, like,
just that, that's so scary that things like that with people who have.
bad intentions can do those sort of things.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is crazy.
I feel like it's good like when it's used for like the right reasons.
For sure.
Yes.
Yeah.
Very hopeful.
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In the moment, it felt like it was going on forever.
I didn't think I was going to live.
I was terrified.
There was no anything inside those eyes.
They turned black.
It scared the hell out of me.
That was your first murder case?
Yes, sir.
Fair to say this was the biggest case of your career?
Yes, sir.
Rape a murder for a child.
It's as bad as it gets.
I would think so.
Evil, wake up.
I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Crevent and DePippo.
Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse,
appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum.
I said, I'm not guilty.
I'll take it to the grief.
Listen to the devil's quarry on the Iheart radio app.
Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
And to hear the devil's quarry ad free with exclusive content,
subscribe to LaVa for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts.
Joy is essential and it's also elusive.
You can't order it, you can't borrow it or simply hope it into life.
But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey toward a more joyful existence.
Joy 101.
It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby.
Together, guys, we'll have meaningful conversations with the world's most fascinating people.
Entertainment legends, sports icons, wellness experts, and everyday people will share how they find, allow, and experience joy.
And I'll offer some of my own tips and takes on seeking a more balanced and harmonious life.
If you're craving inspiration, support, and useful tools to maximize your joy,
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Joy after a breakup.
But joy as an empty nester, joy after a loss, joy as a caretaker.
This new podcast will speak to you.
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my attention, then subscribe now.
This kid Jafar Jackson is as good as Rami Malik as Freddie Mercury, and it's as good as
Timothy Shamaulay as Bob Dylan.
And I say that with love and respect for both of those actors.
And I don't know how many Oscar nominations they give out, I don't know if it's five,
six for best actor.
150% this kid Jafar Jackson should absolutely positively get nominated.
For his portrayal is Michael Jackson.
Listen to I Am Rap Report on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
This one we kind of, I feel like, touched on a little bit, but this is Bid Bible also.
So they have a guide to cleaning up your social media and they recommend removing boys, alcohol, bikini picks and more.
Do you think these extreme measures are important?
Is this Bias, your Bible?
Yes.
Yeah, I feel like you don't want like, honestly.
too like I think about my my mom like always told me with like social media like what you put on it like
it's always out there and I think just always remembering that I mean I think like if you have a picture
in like you're like bikini and like you think you look cute I'm like yeah that's fine but maybe not like a
sexual like posing one totally I wouldn't even do the bikini honestly yeah like if I mean maybe but
if I if I'm thinking about like if I'm applying for a job and
I'm, and I'm, you know, they're going to look at my social media. Do I want them to see me in a
bikini picture? No, but like it is me and it is my life and I have a life outside of work,
but they don't need to know that. I can add it, re-ad it back in some other time.
Yeah, totally. I think it's interesting that they put. Do you think these extreme measures are
important? I don't think they're extreme. Like, I don't see it as that. I feel like, you know,
you should always, like kind of to your point, Daisy, always be aware.
of what you're putting on your page and being thoughtful about it because it is out there forever.
So just being thoughtful and putting yourself in the shoes of the people who are in these
sororities and are essentially hiring you not for a job, but to be part of their group.
And if you fit in in any way, if you look like you're doing things that might have a negative connotation,
like drinking or whatever, then just maybe choose not to. I mean, why would you? Like, there's no reason
to put it out there unless you're doing like a brand deal with Budweiser or so. You know what I'm saying?
Like, there's no reason to put it out there. So why would you? For sure. I honestly think to like me being in
a sorority like during college, I think it really helped me like not get in like I think it really
helped like my future self and like where I'm at right now because like I remember.
like you couldn't post alcohol and like certain like pictures if like you would post.
I think it was like a purple or a yellow heart like someone from exec would comment and you
would have to like take it down. But I feel like it's just because when you go away to college,
like you don't have your parents kind of like watching over everything you do. And so for me,
I think it was kind of nice to have like that little bit of like stay like in line.
Did you get the purple heart ever?
I can't remember if I.
did. I'm stealing this tip. It's like a, you know, have you heard of people who in there,
within their families, they have like a safe word. So like for teens, if you're out and, you know,
if you're at a sleepover, this was something that when Blake's Lee would first start having
sleepovers, people would talk about. You're a sleepover and you don't feel safe. Then you just call
me and you say, you know, whatever the safe word is. And I immediately just come get you. And I'm like,
oh, did you know that we have to go somewhere early in the morning now? So I have to come and pick you up.
Yeah. That is a great little safe word. I love that. I want to come up with that with Blakesley
and Max and just be like, okay, if I send a hiking boot, then you know.
Yeah. Yeah. Remove whatever you just put on.
Boot it. Yeah.
Give it some boat.
Anyway, that's a great tip. I love.
love that. Yeah, and it's like a soft
nudge, you know? Exactly.
Yeah, right. It's not harsh.
No, like instead of me texting
him and being like, really,
do you think that's a good idea
that you just posted that?
Yeah.
Just a hiking boot, just the little tiny hiking
boot, that's all.
Yeah.
That's so funny.
The boot.
Well, it's good that you're thinking about it,
though. I mean, like, I think like
Trista said, just being intentional about what
you're posting is always good advice, no matter of rushing or not. Yeah. No, I agree. And do you think
when you're going into recruitment now, since social media is such a big thing, do you think
you need to be public on platforms? I mean, I don't think so. I feel like there, why would they
require that? I don't know. I bet it is all specific to each college or each university and maybe
even each sorority. But I feel like why would they require?
require that unless they want to just kind of see how you live your life. But I would say
airing on the side of privacy, like not sharing everything is a good idea. Oh, I agree.
I think so, I mean, I'm thinking from an athlete standpoint, like if you want to be a college
athlete, I think it's important to like have your page public and like show your plays and
promote yourself. But yeah, if you're going into rush, I mean,
you're not this it's it's like a one on individual analysis of your fit so it really shouldn't
come from social media i think trusty you're on to something here that like the the better idea
might be to keep it private yeah if you can yeah let your like face-to-face interaction with
the people in the in the house like yeah that's how you want to be representative representative
Oh my God, I can't talk.
Represented.
Oh, my God.
Represented.
And not what you, like, a picture or a video or whatever that you did one night when you were just being silly or, you know, just let yourself speak for yourself in person.
Yeah.
So, okay, the sorority sister talks about avoiding infamous four bees in rush.
conversations during recruitment.
Oh, so don't talk about boys, booze, Bible, ballots.
Yeah.
I mean, that is totally life too.
Like, yes, I mean, with your friends, talk about boys, but never do you ever want to
talk about religion or politics.
Like, just don't go there.
Yeah.
I feel like those are only for, like, people that, like, you are like.
You know where they stand.
Yeah.
I'm like very, very close.
with like totally we're not trying to incite any sort of disrespect or defensiveness like we
open happy environment yeah yeah you're not in a debate here you're not you know debating for
a seat in wherever you're just trying to make friends so I feel like that can come later if it's
something of interest to you if you want to study it in school but I don't think it has a place in
rush. Yeah. I remember because it was kind of like a thing like nobody talk about it and I feel like
it goes the same way like on like when you're the one like recruiting girls. Like I feel like you're told
I was like told not to bring that stuff up either. And I would be like, but I want to know. Yeah.
Yeah. And I might judge you for it. But I only remember one time.
a girl brought up a boy to me and it was actually Thor because I think we were like juniors.
Me and Thor were dating at that time.
And a girl was like, oh, I know your boyfriend.
I was like, oh, really?
And she like went and she's like from like the same hometown or something.
Oh, that's cute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's personal.
Like it's not like you're gossiping about the cute boy who's in Theta or something.
You know, you're just, you're just sharing about like.
your personal life. So I think that, I feel like that's okay if you have a personal connection.
Yeah. If you're just chatting about the cute boys or the not so cute boys, maybe keep that to
yourself until after recruitment. Yeah. I would say also like you're going, if it's like a school,
like how mine is where you like, it's like rush happened or how SDSU was where like rush happened like a few
weeks after school starts, I definitely wouldn't be like running around, like, kissing and
hooking up with a bunch of older guys.
Or you definitely will not be in.
And you know why?
Not just because you don't want to come across as Sleddy McSutterstein, but you also, you
also, you know that those boys have connection to girls in houses.
So you know that the boys are going to run back to their girlfriends in whatever
sorority and be like, guess who I hung out with last night?
Yeah.
So it's just not a good look.
I don't know.
Definitely not.
Pride is like love.
You feel it in your heart.
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your favorite hits and must have party bangers, plus personalized and curated
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In the moment, it felt like it was going on forever.
I didn't think I was going to live.
I was terrified.
There was no anything inside those eyes.
They turned black.
It scared the hell out of me.
That was your first murder case?
Yes, yeah.
Fear to say this was the biggest case of your career?
Yes, sir.
Rape and murder for a child.
She's as bad as it gets.
I would think so.
People wake up.
I'm the one that saw the murder take place by Crevette and DePippo.
Anthony DePippo showed no signs of remorse,
appearing unfazed after being sentenced to the maximum.
I said I'm not guilty.
I'll take it to the grief.
Listen to the devil's quarry on the Iheart radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
And to hear the devil's quarry ad free with exclusive content,
subscribe to Lobba for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts.
Joy is essential and it's also elusive.
You can't order it, you can't borrow it or simply hope it into life.
But now, there's a new and exciting way to start your journey
toward a more joyful existence, Joy 101.
It's a new podcast hosted by me, Hoda Kotby.
Together, guys, we'll have meaningful conversations with the world's
most fascinating people. Entertainment legends, sports icons, wellness experts, and everyday people
will share how they find, allow, and experience joy. And I'll offer some of my own tips and
takes on seeking a more balanced and harmonious life. If you're craving inspiration, support,
and useful tools to maximize your joy, tune into these candid, uplifting, and moving on-air
chats. Joy after a breakup. Joy is an empty nester. Joy after a loss. Joy
as a caretaker.
This new podcast will speak to you.
Listen to Joy 101 on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
This is Michael Rappaport, and my podcast, the I Am Rapaport Stereo Podcast,
is unlike anyone you've ever heard.
We're a variety show, and if you're looking for strong opinions, funny opinions about
sports, entertainment, politics, pop culture, and whatever else catches my attention,
then subscribe now.
This kid Jafar Jackson is as good as Rami Malik as Freddie Mercury,
and it's as good as Timothy Chamalay as Bob Dylan.
And I say that with love and respect for both of those actors.
And I don't know how many Oscar nominations they give out, I don't know if it's five, six for best actor.
150% this kid Jafar Jackson should absolutely positively get nominated for his portrayal as Michael Jackson.
Listen to I Am Rap Report on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.
I am Rapaport podcast.
Do you think like some recruiters bring up like boys booze Bible ballots to test P&Ms and see if they avoid the topic?
I mean, that's kind of nasty.
Right.
I mean, I feel like only if you're like, only if they're like a mean girl, honestly, that's like, put you in a difficult position.
That is definitely something I would probably do.
I kind of just said I would.
I'm like, I want to know those things, but you're not supposed to talk about it.
How are you going to handle this situation?
No, I don't think that's the, they shouldn't.
They shouldn't be tricking.
Like, that's trickery, A of all, B of all, it has, like we said before, it has no place in the sorority.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't think that's cool.
I feel like it was like a thing when I was in college that everyone told me, like, if you
had a boyfriend, like do not tell them you have a boyfriend because they want girls that'll be
like fun and hang out with the frat boys. Yeah, I mean, maybe not talk about it. Like, don't lead with it.
But if it comes up, like, you know, you're the girl that you were talking to and they're like,
oh, I know your boyfriend. Then obviously you can, you know, say some nice things. But I don't think
that talking about your romantic relationships during recruitment really has a big place, you know.
Yeah.
Focus on you, who you are as a person and not who you are with another person, just who you are, you know.
This is kind of like a different side question.
Well, kind of not really.
Do you guys think like it's better to go into college single than in a relationship?
So Blakesley is in a relationship and so is Max.
They are both.
Max is going to see you Boulder and his girlfriend, he and his girlfriend are really solid.
Yeah.
We love her.
we love her family. And so I, you know, as a mom, I can't tell my kids either or, like, it's their life and they need to do,
you know, what they feel is right. Yeah. I do have conversations like before Max got into
see you or decided, I should say, to go to see you. Yeah. I did have a conversation saying,
I don't think you should go to see you because Maggie is going there. I think you need to
to make the decision based on whether you would go to the school if she wasn't there
and why you're choosing to go to certain colleges.
So it should be about your next four years or whatever and not the time that you're
going to have with her.
And the same thing goes for Blake's Lee.
They probably will end up on different coasts, I would guess.
That's hard.
So it'll happen, however it's supposed to happen.
it'll happen, it'll happen. But if you don't have a relationship at the end of your senior year,
I don't know that I would recommend getting into a relationship before you go to college,
you know? Yeah. I mean, life happens, right? Like, you shouldn't stop. And if your life is,
if you're happy in your life, you shouldn't make a change just based on, you know, something like
rush, like a breakup or something that seems a bit extreme. But yeah, I mean, I think that being single is,
is like a really good way to get to know yourself and learn about yourself, especially within
like a new, a brand new start at your like adult life in college.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do say, think that like I don't want Max to be so focused on his relationship that he
doesn't get to know other people, you know?
Yeah.
But in the same sentence, I can say, Maggie is so social.
and I feel like he'll probably meet more people because he's dating her.
It's not black and white.
Yeah, totally.
It's just what it is.
And he's going to be great regardless.
Everything is nuanced.
And then we could even go even further and say, well, would Max even choose to go to Boulder?
Maybe he would have chosen to go to a local community college.
Who knows?
I mean, it's the butterfly effect.
Every little choice we make affects, you know, the rest of our lives in some ways.
Yeah.
Is the theory at least.
But yeah, I think it's all nuanced.
But as long as we keep open minds and open relationships, I think we can do well at rush.
Yes.
Maybe not open relationships.
Yeah.
By the time.
That's part of the bees.
The boys, we don't talk about that.
That's so funny.
I love that.
Is there any last advice you?
give to incoming P&Ms who are overwhelmed by all the advice they see online about rush.
I'd say just be yourself.
I was literally going to say the same thing.
So there you go.
That's our advice.
Yes.
Yeah.
I feel like that's what it's all about.
You don't want to rush a sorority.
You don't want to be in a sorority that you won't have friends.
Like you need to be yourself and be able to communicate who that is in
order to match with the people that are going to be your people, not with people that you're not
going to have any likes or, you know, connection to. So I feel like just be yourself and
it'll all, like, it's not about the popular sororities or like who, who has more followers on
Instagram. Like, it's not about that. You don't want to be with people just because you've seen
them on social media or heard about them through a friend. You want to connect with the people in the
house. Yeah. So just be yourself. I agree. I think that like a lesson that I certainly learned from
being on reality television, we all have. We've all three of us have been on reality television
and not and I think the way we all started was just showcasing our own personalities, not for any sort of
like particular skill. And it's amazing what I like the feedback that I got.
was we all these fans they liked me i didn't do anything i was just me i just showed up as myself
and they like me every single human being on this planet has the opportunity to do the same thing
and they're just as special as anybody else on reality television being themselves and so i really
really want people like especially young people to not only know that like they're special and
just showing up as you are but also to know that their opinions count more than they think like
grownups don't have it all together.
So listen to your heart and be who you are.
Yeah.
I love that.
And I think if you do that, you'll end up right where you belong.
Cap and capy gamma.
And then you'll be a KKG.
This was so much fun.
Okay.
Well, thank you guys so much for joining me.
This was awesome.
I love it.
Thank you for her.
having me. Yes, always. Okay, guys, so that ends our second episode on this topic. Thank you so much for
being here, Trista and Megan. And make sure you follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Dirty Rush
Podcast so you don't miss any of our new episodes, exclusive clips, and everything else.
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