The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - In Depth: Jed Wyatt

Episode Date: August 4, 2019

Jed Wyatt lets his guard down and opens up to Ben and Ashley with every detail about his Bachelorette journey. He answers the difficult questions you’ve been expecting him to be transparent about. We are able to understand the full story that we only got bits and pieces of prior to this In Depth Interview. Also, Ben and Ashley bring you the latest breaking news about Tyler and Hannah’s night together. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

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on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chees-me. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh.

Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs.

The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right. They gave you the answers, and you still blew it. The Puzzler. Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's another special episode of The Almost Famous Podcast. I know this interview is going to be compelling for a lot of people.

It's not very often a season ends in the ways that Hannah did. But on this podcast, yes, we have a great time. And yes, we break down a reality television show. that some of us get super invested into. But none of this podcast makes sense unless we try to cover the show and we try to talk about all aspects of the show, not just the good, not just the love stories

and not just the drama that exists during the season, but also how it affects people's lives. Jed Wyatt has been a key character on this season. Obviously, he ended the season engaged to Hannah. And as we saw recently, that has now ended. We want to talk to Jet. We want to hear his side of the story. For months, we've questioned, what in the world is happening and how is this whole thing

going to end? And I'm done assuming. Ashley is done assuming. I just don't think that's the way you live life. I don't think we live life assuming how things happen. We have to hear it from the source. And that's why we're doing this podcast. Listen if you want.

Criticize this if you want. But at the end of the day, we care about or we try to at least, every person. person that comes on this show. We don't want to see this show make anybody's life worse. So that's what I have in Jed on. It's a compelling conversation. It's one that I promise is worth the listen. And at the end of it, I hope you can at least walk away with a better understanding of how things played out. Agree with Jed or not, like how it played out or not. I'm not asking that. That's up to you to decide. But at least listen. And we're so pumped that Jed has been willing to come into studio and meet with Ashley and I.

We've heard Hannah's side of the story. And honestly, we feel for Hannah. But we haven't heard Jed side. And it's important that we hear both sides. I mean, they ended this thing together. And how are we going to leave a contestant just kind of out there on an island all alone? We haven't done it yet.

We don't want to do it this season. So it's now time to hear Jed story. This is in-depth with Jed Wyatt. This is Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous in depth Jed once again man Thank you for coming into studio I know this is not the best of circumstances

Yeah I think Thank you guys for having me It's uh I mean Let's just start this We kind of talked earlier but I want to let you know You know the fans have heard a bunch of different stories And there's been a bunch of press around this And the weird part for the first time in a long time

I can remember this has came out months ago And so you've kind of been living in this season of questioning and doubt. Your story hasn't been able to get out there. I really don't know what your side of the story is. And that's why this is kind of exciting for me. But we've made a lot of assumptions. And also on this podcast, we've made a lot of assumptions about what's happening. Let's start by how are you doing?

What is it like living in kind of months and months of it feels like cloudiness? Yeah, you know, it's been hard. And there's been a lot that I've wanted to say. and kind of held off on really defending myself because, you know, my relationship with Hannah was far more important than my portrayal to the media. So, you know, it was hard to just kind of like bite my tongue and grin and bear it till everything kind of played out

the way that it did. It sucked, but, you know, like I said, I was, the relationship was the most important thing to me. So I wanted to do whatever I could to attempt to save that. we're going to get into here along the podcast, just our conversation, your relationship with Hannah and kind of where it went wrong and if things could have been done differently. But I want to start at the beginning, Ashley and I have reached out to a lot of people on social media and asked for any questions from our listeners.

And as a result, we've compiled a list here that we're going to kind of run through. But for the most part, I want to treat this like a story. your story over the last, you know, nine months of your life leading up to really today where you sit a few days past the final episode and everything has kind of been out there in the open now. When this whole thing started for you, what was your intention going on the show? You know, I was reached out to on Instagram about doing the show. From a casting producer?

Yeah. And as far as I know, honestly, I don't know what she was. She did makeup in Nashville, and she said that she was associated with the show and asked me if I was interested. Okay. So I followed through with the steps on that, and, you know, at the time, I hadn't watched any of the show. It was something that I wasn't really into because, in my opinion, it felt like it wasn't real to me. So I wasn't really into it, but it seemed like a good opportunity. I'd seen like people on social media, it seemed very happy and seemed to be a loving life that had been on the show.

So, to me, it just seemed like a great opportunity. I didn't know the potential of actually fall in love. I didn't know if that was as real as it kind of comes across. So to me, really, I just, I didn't know what I was stepping into or signing up for when, you know, I was going through the interview process. It's an interesting place to start because I think most people that watch a show assume that everybody goes on the show is going on with the purpose of at least hopefully finding love, knowing that it might not happen. It doesn't happen to the majority of the people that even go on the show, right? Best case scenario, one person ends up at the end with The Bachelor of Bachelorette. But for you, what you're saying is when this all came about, you're reached out to or somebody contacted you.

you look at it as an opportunity to kind of mix life up a bit, which I've been honest on this podcast about and said, yeah, that's why I did it. I thought it could shake life up a bit. I didn't know what it was going to do to me. I didn't know that was going to change my life forever. And so you get onto the show. And at what point does that, there's the reality that this is a real thing start to sink in. Right. Well, it certainly wasn't night one. It was just, that was just such a, I'm sure, as you remember, it's just such a weird thing when all the guys roll in and you know it's one girl and everyone's getting pulled in different directions and it was just a lot i had a crazy perspective going in i had people told me that i was going to be

fought and there's going to be people stirring up stuff with me and i just i didn't know what i was getting into but uh i think week two is when it clicked for me and that's when hannah she walked in the room and she was upset because it was already hard for her and the reality of everything had already hit her that this was very real and it was going to be a very difficult journey and when I saw her be so upset and emotional about this that's when it hit me that you know this is a real person and I had to step outside and have a moment to myself because I was like damn like now now I see that this is this is real emotions and real people here so from that moment forward I just I wanted to put her happiness in front of my own and get to know her and I would say that's when I really started to

fill myself being like falling you know some of the criticism and Ashley I know you and I talked about it was I forget the guy's name at this point but there's some guy on night Scott I was just going to ask right yeah on night one you know he gets pulled out because he has a girlfriend at home and the criticism I've seen a lot of it is why didn't you leave at that moment I don't want to assume again I'm going to try to do this whole podcast without assuming anything I want I'm going to even ask you some probably softball questions that that will just hopefully be easy for you to answer. But why in that moment did you not leave?

I had closure with the Haley girl. On my side, I had closure. I guess, obviously, on her side, there wasn't enough of that there. We had had verbal phone conversations and talked in person about, like, the potential of what could happen on this show. Like, you know, people end up being The Bachelor. There's Paradise. There's people fall in love.

Like, we didn't know what was going to. happen and that had been discussed and you know we set our goodbyes knowing that I was stepping into an unforeseen future so to me I was going on this journey as a single man but you kind of said that you didn't think that love really came from the show and it was more of like just a show right so why would you even assume that you were going to fall for anyone I was not assuming I was open to the idea but there was not an assumption there was not an assumption that you were going to fall in love with somebody, then why did you even have a concluding conversation with Haley? Because we just wanted it to be clear that anything could happen.

The part that I think has been confusing, as some level on it, we're getting to it earlier and I expected to, but I think it will lead us down a good road here. The text messages leading up to you leaving then didn't point to it being over. And that's kind of the thing. you know, there's multiple people this season that have had relationships leading up to the show and it happens every year. It's not, this is an anomaly.

It happens every time that, you know, this show exists, somebody gets asked, and then they either end a relationship once they find out they're going to be on the show or they do it a few months prior. The difference with you is I think text messages came out as you were leaving that pointed that you guys might still be together or have something.

Right. And I can see that. I will own those text messages all day. I said them. And, you know, I really did feel for her. Like, there's no denying it. She, she has a great person. I'm not going to ever shoot her down.

She has a great heart, and that's just the facts. And I did feel for her. Though we were never in an exclusive relationship or had committed to that, we totally did have feelings and emotions for each other. And when, I'm sorry, I'm so tired. No, it's okay. Backtrack. me a little bit on that question.

Ben, you want to repeat the question? Yeah. So if it had ended through phone conversations, you felt good about where you're Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we had had verbal conversations and obviously those aren't being put out and, you know, the phone conversations aren't being put out. They're not out and recorded. Like people do have genuine conversations outside of text messages.

Did I send those? Yes. but to me, the verbal closure was there. But didn't you text her that you loved her the day that you had this verbal conversation? Yeah. And you don't think that saying, I love you, means that you're in a committed relationship? I think that when has it ever been a thing that you have to be in a committed relationship to say that you love someone? And again, I think this is where it gets confusing.

So let's try to break this down. I think we need to live in this space for a bit and try to figure this out because I think quite honestly this is where I'm lost. I actually can completely understand going on to the show, ending a relationship. I hear all the time finding that closure and then also going on to the show without an idea of what it really is. I mean, I think anybody that was on my season would admit when I was in the limo, I still didn't know exactly what we were getting ourselves into.

And then as the weeks progressed, my feelings for Caitlin increased, leading to the, you know, to the end of our story. And then me being The Bachelor, and the Bachelor led me to love. And so I never would have expected that or could have predicted it until we were in it. And so this is, and I have to be honest with, this is where I lose you. I don't get this part. I don't, I believe you that you had phone conversations. There was closure there. but if there was closure within that

either one it was completely unhealthy for you to then text I love you to Haley because you had just ended a relationship with her or or two the relationship never ended and that's where my mind goes the phone conversation where we said goodbye was after

the text message okay I mean that that answer what led you then let's live what led you to then make that phone call after the text I had just landed in LA and that's where we kind of just said our good lies. What was her response? Was it hard?

Yeah. I mean, it was, it was a hard conversation because we knew that I was stepping into an unforeseen future. She had a, she was potentially going on some show, and we both knew that this was kind of like the point where we don't know what's going to happen, but we're okay and want the best for one another. Did you think that this could possibly have happened where, like, you were going to get far enough in the competition, let's call it that, for lack of a better term right now, and that you were going to end up worrying if Haley had interpreted that last conversation the way that you intended it?

I never honestly would have dreamed. You never thought that, like, oh, man, I'm in this deep. She's probably going to be really mad. I, I truthfully, knowing her, would have thought that she would have been happy for me, to be honest, because she knew that the future was, like, we couldn't read the future. We didn't know what's going to happen. So I think I would have thought if she saw me happy, then, yeah. But, like, I guess also that, like, I was not really taking into consideration the weight of the, of the word love also with her. Because, you know, I feel like that can be on so many different levels and taken so many ways. and I will own up and say that, you know, obviously with Hannah, it was a different level. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I should not have been so forward with it at the time, though I did feel strong emotions for Haley. Trust me.

If there's one person that can be confused by the word love, it's me, buddy. I got a girlfriend now that I love so much. and I you know the show led me to to find love but I get what you're saying there and I think I want that to be clear what you found with Hannah was a different kind of love than what you had with Haley and I can understand that I mean I'm living in that right now but it still doesn't answer the question of what happened on the plane ride I mean you you get onto a plane with a text message that says I love you and on a plane ride you get off the plane and I know how this works you get off a plane you get in a car and you start heading towards the mansion or you go you go to a hotel and you get prepped for the mansion what happened in the Nashville to LA three hours on this plane ride that made you go uh-oh

I don't think I follow what you're saying there you mean like once I landed in LA yeah like when you made a phone call oh I mean I I told her that I would call when I landed and I did and And once I was in the airport, and this was before I even went to baggage claim, I put my headphones in and went and kind of set and had a little conversation. So what happened on the plane ride that made you feel like you needed to have that? This is where I'm trying to get to. So this is where we're looking at right now. This is what I'm hearing. You get onto the plane with a text message that's really sweet that's kind of saying things like, I love you and that you're, you know, it feels like a relationship type text. right you get you get on the plane you get off the plane and you sit down before baggage claim

and call her to end it what happened on the plane i mean we both had already had those conversations in person that like i said again i was going into an unforeseen future that was it like so the call was pretty much simply a goodbye good luck you know everything's going to work out either way like i want the best for you i want the best for you i want the best for you Goodbye. And to go back to my other question, just there was never an uh-oh moment for you while filming this season. Like I said, I was, I was weighing my closure more than, I guess, hers.

I was not, I was thinking on my side that I felt okay and not really take into consideration how much, how this could have been hurting her. And that's my fault. Jed, let's backtrack then a little bit. Okay. Like, why are you sitting with us today? I think we've heard now coming on to the show, and I know Ashley has a lot of questions kind of circling around your relationship with Hannah and how this show played out for you.

But I really want to understand the mindset going on to the show. And then now that you sit on the outside of it, what about that conversation with Haley makes you want to sit down with us today and say, here's my story. And this is why I believe it's okay. I did what I did. And I don't, I don't agree that it's okay that I did what I did. I can see how now that that was very hurtful to her and that, you know, though it did give me my closure, it didn't give her hers and that's my fault.

And I'm, you know, I'll admit it. I admit that I can see now, like especially with like her interviews and stuff, how much this actually did hurt her. So I guess I'm here to also admit that it's, evident to me that I could have handled that different. If you could go back in the Bachelorette process, when would you have ended up telling Hannah that there was somebody who you ended a relationship with right before the show? I wish I would have talked about it in fantasy suites.

Okay. Yeah. Totally. That's, in my opinion, that would have been the best time to have done it. It didn't cross my mind, to be honest. To be completely honest, it didn't cross. my mind. We were really just head over heels to be, you know, not on camera for once and talked about just about everything under the stars, but it didn't cross my mind. I was just head over heels for her. So. Did it feel like one of the questions we got asked, did it feel like a risk to tell her at any point? I was definitely fearful to talk about it with her. You know, I think that, you know, I fell in love with her. I love her so much.

that I was scared to lose that. I'd never felt that emotion and it's like getting like your dream house or dream car and knowing that if you did one thing you lose it forever and this was like that times 10 for me I just had never felt this strongly so fast and the last thing I wanted to do was lose it and I should have acted on love and respect

and openness rather than fear and that's my mistake. Hey asked before I let you kind of loose here on what's happened in the relationship with Hannah and Jed and then kind of post I really just have one last question for you and then I'm going to follow along with this out of all the stuff that's happened of the last few months what has been the lies or the opinions the criticism that's hurt you the most I don't know if let me rephrase that I don't know if what you're I don't want you to come off wrong here what you're saying is these things aren't lies necessarily it's just an unfortunate

story or circumstance with some really poor decisions being made but the lot like there's it has there been lies i don't feel like there's been lies rather than i think it's been kind of vengeful considering that she's plugged her band on everything that she's done coming out and talking about our relationship and um that's, I mean, to me, if I was completely heartbroken, I mean, for one, if I was in an actual relationship with someone, I wouldn't want them to go on a show. I wouldn't, like, if they told me they're going on a show, I'd be like, all right, we're done, go do it. Like, if that's, if that's really what you're going to do, then go do that. And that's something that I had discussed with

Haley early on. I, like, when I found out I was going on the show, I told her that I was going to follow through with this. If she did not want to spend time together or hang out or do anything, we don't have to do that. And that's fine with me. I would not do that if I was in your position. And I just, I wouldn't. So I always found a hard time figuring out, like, though I can see now that my behavior and words were misleading, especially in the text messages, I just find a hard time seeing how if you do care about someone so much, even if they were assuring how it's okay to like let them go on a dating show at all like if that was like a thing i i wouldn't have gone if i was in a relationship but if my person was trying to convince me that

it's okay i would just be done and it really just baffles me that she decided to come out and tell her story once i was at 250 000 followers on instagram or something that's that's when it hit to me if you were so heartbroken like and i'm not taking that away from her she's hurt and i understand that and I own up to my mistakes. But if you really were so broken, why not earlier? Well, I was going to ask you that. So do you think it was your Instagram fellow account or possibly how far you got in the competition that got her to come out with her story? Because I have a feeling if you were like top 10, she probably wouldn't have said anything. I really don't know. I would love to just completely own up to my mistake and say and be like, it's because she's

hurt, but the fact that she plugged her music in on everything that she did afterwards, that made me kind of reconsider a little. Got it. Yeah, that hurts. That feels, it feels a little self-promoting. And I, yeah, I get that. I mean, I think, well, this is, I think the problem, Jed, and this is maybe the one of the other things I want to ask, I don't know how to say this well, is I think there is this

weird level at which there is a self-promotion behind a breakup. But at the same time, um, you know, this was an outlet for you to promote your music. And you admitted that. I mean, that was something that was talked about on the show. And then definitely, uh, a storyline on the show. Yeah. So I'm trying to, I mean, it was this. It feels like the apple hasn't fallen and fall from the tree because you went on the show to promote music she knew that going in that was something that you had talked about with her and then when that kind of i mean i don't know maybe backfires on her or there's a rude awakening where she realizes uh-oh he actually likes this girl he's in love with this girl and he isn't coming back to me is it that crazy or or that

outlandish of her than to say well i'm going to use this to my advantage too i mean no i mean I mean, it's not, I mean, I don't think it's right, but I don't think that it's, you know, outlandish by any means, you know. It's the part, yeah, it's just the part that I'm, again, I think this is just a really unfortunate story of lessons learned. And I hope that's what the listeners take away is that you haven't yet said this isn't your fault. And I respect that. Trust me, I really respect that out of you that you have, you've yet to say this isn't my fault. But I also think that, quite honestly, it was just some really poor decisions being made during a time that all eyes were on you. Yeah. No, I agree.

Like, I've never felt the way I felt for Hannah and it happened to be in front of America. Yeah, you know, it's something that I'm not used to at all. So there was just so many different things going, and I'm not trying to excuse my mistake at all. But it's not something I was familiar to by any means. Some of our listeners, I'm looking here, they wrote in an email, they said, because a lot of the questions we asked were, how could have Jed handled this differently? And we discussed it, I think, two weeks ago on the podcast. One of the ideas, and I want to know if you ever thought about this, was to bring Haley onto the show

and during this experience and ask her to come on to the show so that you could have closure with her. I think what we're hearing, and I want to make sure that I'm understanding this correctly, you already thought you had closure with her. So would it ever cross your mind to need to explain to Haley,

even post filming of the show, that, hey, I'm engaged? You know, I had actually a friend who introduced Haley and I had, you know, him and I talked when I got home and he told me that, you know, she was upset and throwing beer bottles at a bar or something. And so at that moment, I knew that she, you know, I knew she'd be following the spoilers. I mean, all my friends knew everything. When I got back, I was kind of pissed because I wanted to like kind of talk about my journey, my close friends, you know. But they literally, you know how the spoilers go. Everything, just about everything. So when I heard she was throwing this tantrum, I think a few days or a week later, I ran into her at a bar. And I saw her initially and I just kind of wanted to avoid it. I just got back. I was still coming down to earth from everything that had just happened.

And it was such a long journey, amazing but long. And it was my first time going to, it's a thing in Nashville, a bunch of musicians play. And she approached me next to my friends and asked me, you know, or said, you know, you weren't going to call. You weren't going to do anything. And my response is, I just like, I don't know, like, what to say to you at this time. Like, and I know for a fact here in this bar where people, were filming me right now. There's people, I could see people behind even her and my friends just because it was fresh. Yeah, people knew who you were because your picture had already been

released. Right. So I was like, this is definitely not the place for conversation. And I still needed to gather my thoughts. And so I heard again from one of my friends that she had been upset again or something. And so I talked to Hannah about it. And I was like, I, I think that I should say something to her. And I don't know if I need to do this in person or text or a phone call. And Hannah and I came to terms that I should just call her. So I did try to call her one time and she ignored it and never called me back. And then the articles came out.

So at this point, Hannah was aware and supportive of you trying to process this relationship. What at this point did Hannah know about your relationship with Haley? She knew She knew my feelings and emotions towards it Like I said She knew how I felt And the closure that I had Towards her

And I was not being mindful To how Haley might have been feeling So that's where I like the details Um The I love you's The I'm trying to think The note

And I told Haley, this was me talking before I knew anything about the show, and I could pick my past apart for hours, and I know that it's not right, but I talked out of just talking. I'm like, I think going top five, that would that be, like, the thing to do? And, like, I don't know what I mean there. I didn't know who the bachelorette's going to be. I didn't know that I would even fall in love or, right? I had no clue what was going to happen. So when Hannah read all that, it was very hurtful.

and I think made her question the validity of my words towards her, which really sucks because I know for a fact that I felt everything that I said to her was as real as it gets. We take a break? Yeah, we'll take a break. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness. Psychobabble Yes, yes Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you Open your free IHeartRadio app Search Emergency Intercom

And listen now The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast Season 4 is here And we're locked in That means more juicy cheesement Terrible love advice Evil spells to cast on your ex No, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season

Oh, well this season we're leveling up Each episode will feature a special bestie And you're not gonna want to miss it Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is The Deva of the People. The Deva of the People. I'm just like text your ex.

My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya.

In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men, and of course, our favorites. Secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the My Cultura Podcast Network available on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed. Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin, so, like, it's not, like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do something. straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. The 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder. take center stage available now listen to wisecrack on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hi i'm jennica lopez and in the new season of the overcover podcast i'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection am i ready to enter this new part of my life like am i ready to be in a relationship am i ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time i wanted to be successful on my own not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth.

Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcomfort Podcast as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford, and in session 421 of Therapy for Black Girls, I sit down with Dr. Afea and Billy Shaka to explore how our hair connects to our identity, mental health, and the ways we heal. Because I think hair is a complex language system, right? In terms of it can tell how old you are, your marital status, where you're from, you're a spiritual belief. But I think with social media, there's like a hyper fixation and observation of our hair,

right? That this is sometimes the first thing someone sees when we make a post or a reel is how our hair is styled. You talk about the important role hairstyles play in our community, the pressure to always look put together, and how breaking up with perfection can actually free us. Plus, if you're someone who gets anxious about flying, don't miss session 418 with Dr. Angela Neil Barnett, where we dive into managing flight anxiety.

Listen to therapy for black girls on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. We're going to come back in and we took a little break. This is not an easy conversation to have. And I think, Jed, when we paused here, the emotion was coming from your feelings towards Hannah. And one thing we haven't got to see a lot of because of how this ended and because of kind of the months in between filming the show and when the show aired is how serious your relationship it is. But was, so to you, Jed, what were your feelings to Hannah?

Yeah. I mean, I think the hardest part of all this is that, you know, her questioning my validity due to all this, in my words, because I have not felt this strongly for someone. one ever and uh you know it was just it was just easy and it happened and so fast you know those those couple months feel like years but it's also like you blink your eye and next thing you know you're completely head over heels and engaged and start talking about like houses and all that just the crazy stuff that you just you know you want that eventually but you just wouldn't have assumed it would have been here and now and yeah it's it's it's hard to to know that's over but also it's just harder to know that she questions the validity and how I felt so let's go to

the breakup part so we know that the day after you guys got engaged you had the conversation about haley and then we know that you ran into her in a bar and you got a little bit concerned about her feelings and you called her and she didn't pick up but then the people magazine came out so is the people magazine really when hannah started to feel feelings of distrust yeah absolutely i feel like that's when it really just it hit her because she saw the things that i i had left out when i wasn't considering how haley was truly feeling like the letter so in the letter it sounded like you intended to get back with Haley if the Bachelorette didn't work out. Did you intend that?

I didn't know what really I was saying or what was going to happen. So I can't really say that I wanted that or that was going to happen. So then when was the scene that we saw between you and Hannah on that couch and the house in L.A. filmed? When was it filmed? Yeah. like was it the week after the people magazine article came out how much turmoil was between you guys before it was within the week okay yeah and then you you didn't break up then that's when she

broke off the engagement it seemed what happened in between that and the real breakup which happened over the phone um just a lot of emotion uh sadness and just really evaluating myself and how I've made people feel. Anna, obviously my number one priority, but I've had to gain perspective from everyone else's feelings too. And that being Haley, that being, you know, the fans. And, like, it's just I never intended or wanted to hurt anyone, but, you know, just kind of taking it in and swallowing the fact that I have hurt people.

That was just, it was tough. When I feel like breakups are inevitable, you get that feeling where you're, like, trapped. You're like, oh, man, like, I messed up or, like, there's something messed up in this relationship, but I don't think I'm going to be able to get out of it. So were you feeling that trapped, scared feeling for a while? Like, it was going to go south no matter what you did? I wasn't sure what was going to happen. You know, in my head, I kept telling myself that, you know, that love was so powerful.

It was powerful enough to make it through the Bachelorette journey. you know, I feel like we can work through this, especially if we intend on spending the rest of our lives together because there's going to be trials and tribulations that life does throw at you that, you know, believe it or not, can outweigh this. And I just, I was really hopeful that it was something that we could talk through. But, you know, I understand why it hurts so bad now. And, you know, that's that.

one of the things you just touched on it this week reality Steve came out on publicly and showed some comments that you were liking on your social media kind of pointing to your support of people saying of you know kind of against Hannah I'd say they're anti-Hanna comments that you were liking what was your thought process there so contrary to popular belief I had gone to tap the comment, um, the, the longer one. I can't remember exactly what it said. And I was trying to see the chain of who he was responding to or whether it was just him. And I liked it. And that was my mistake. But I'm going to own up and say that I did like it. And, you know, I don't fully agree with what was said there, but I, I, I did like it. And, you know,

I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel like obviously a little, weird about some of the things that were said during the season especially watching back about like the windmill and stuff like that like obviously it's just it's really odd and hard to hear someone that you love and care about be so open about hooking up with someone else and you know she i i totally understand that that's it's her journey and her role and you know i probably would have done the same thing you know if i was if the roles were flipped And I was, you know, with the top three or four guys or whatever it was, I would want to explore that too. So she's not wrong for it, but it's just, it's hard watching back when that is your person.

And I had, mentally, I had haste towards it, but the comment was, you know, it's not right. Whether I liked it, if it was an accident or even on purpose, it's still not cool with me. so yeah i mean i think that's where you you like the comment you're admitting that you like the comment and so the bottom of it is which man we my reaction towards things in life are typically not great um my one of my one of my personal biggest weaknesses is when things happen that i'm maybe angry about or frustrated and my initial reaction is always one that's probably not right and so your reaction here was a like a comment that was kind of anti-handleman that was kind of anti-hand in a moment of anger, hey, so you have had moments here where this has been frustrating for you.

Yeah, I mean, absolutely. Absolutely. Not to, like, beat the dead horse here, but there were also some videos of your friends, like, wearing team judge shirts, and they were kind of speaking negatively about Hannah, like, I don't like that girl. How do you feel about that? I think it's pretty clear that people are going to have their opinions, and, be that friends or fans you know it's something that you can't really control i did text them afterwards and let them know that you know that this isn't a time or place for that and

but i mean in the end they are my friends and i'm sure hannah's friends would say some things about me right now too the jed to kind of sum up all of this then how would you have liked Hannah to handle this situation? I would have liked to have had a conversation it just being us, like sitting down without cameras and anyone else being around to kind of just talk about it, whether we worked through it or not, but it could just be us. did you ever get to talk about it in person together no do you hope to still i mean at this point

she's pretty much openly stated that she has her closure and she's ready to move on and that's i understand um so i feel that you know at this point though i'm hurt i do have love for her that i have to do the same Yeah. I mean, you were engaged. And I can't imagine not having any closure one-on-one. It would be tough. I mean, millions of people watched you have a breakup. And if you're sitting here, there's just a lot that went wrong. I think that's what I'm taking from this. Quite honestly, there's just been a lot that's gone wrong. And you've been wrong.

Like you were in the wrong. And I also think that through it all, it's, yeah, through it all, it's definitely going to affect you, Jed. And that's where I want to lead this to now is if there's closure in your relationship and you and Hannah are both going to move on, I want to spend a- I'm sorry. You don't feel closure. I feel like I have to feel closure since she does. us. Then I want to

Luke kept begging for closer. She's like, I have mine. Yeah. I want to spend a second and talk about how it's affecting now your life personally. We'll hopefully get a chance to talk to Hannah and break all of this down with her. But for now, you're in studio with us. And I want to hear, since all this is, so all this has came to fruition. and mistakes have been made.

How is it affecting your family? It's been really hard on them. You know, they don't sign up for this. No one's family does. And for them to get kind of dragged into the drama and turmoil, it's been tough, you know, with the edits. And, you know, they were completely skeptical to this whole thing. Which we saw.

Yeah. And they, it was definitely. definitely taken as a Haley thing, which, you know, when I watch it, I see that, but when I know my family that I've known my entire life, I know for a fact that they were just really skeptical of all this. When I hugged all them, when it was like off camera, they're like, are you okay? Are you okay? Is this real? Is this real? There's, they, you know, when all the cameras and all the lights and the producers running around, like it's, it's something that they just were not accustomed to

and I think they were honestly kind of in disbelief that I was loving someone in this setting. I mean, as I was but also extremely happy that it was happening. So, but just seeing how much hate that, you know,

some fans and some alumni and more have and are just so open to throw these things out at people is it's it's sad you know we're all we're all human and we all have lives and make mistakes and um i think people kind of get carried away and feeling like it's just you know just a message or you know just an email just a letter whatever and um don't realize how much it actually can affect someone's head like you know i've seen my mom it's it's been tough

on her you know and i i hate it because i feel like it's my fault just as i have like on a lot of this like you know it's it comes back to me which i i'll own up but it's it's hard for me to see the people i care about the most hurting because of me did they know haley yeah they did so the hometown awkwardness or coldness or whatever you don't think it had any anything to do with like oh but he kind of has a girlfriend here they i did not have a girlfriend they they knew for a fact where i stood with that they knew that we had never committed being exclusive they never thought that my dad told me he's like i never thought you guys were together my best friend called me when the article came out and asked me who it was if that tells you

anything my best friend my best man in my wedding called me because he did not know and you know I think that kind of says a lot personally, but yeah, to answer your question, though, about the back to the family, so it's been tough. I think I'm missing something. Best man in your,

have you been married before? The best man in his future wedding. Oh. Oh, I was like, man, I didn't miss some. No, you could. We skipped right over that. Yeah.

Jeez. Yeah, you know, the family. So how, where is your family at now with this? and I guess because we have a few more things to move into, but where do you hope this goes? Where do you hope this leads now? Yeah, well, firstly, I know that my family is very thankful that I've been given the opportunity to kind of open up and tell my side.

So again, thank you all for having me. And it means a lot to me, but I know it means a lot to my mom. She was like, I told her about it this morning. She's getting like all crying and stuff. So she's thankful as am I. But, you know, moving forward, I really need to just take some time to kind of work on my spiritual and mental health. And that's what I want to do before I make any jumps towards anything else. That's what I want to focus on.

I want to be better well around and take this lesson and become the best version of myself that I can be. I see Hannah's side in all this, of course. You should have, there should have been moments where, you know, there was more details that came out sooner. But I do just feel a lot of empathy because you are dealing with the most frustrating situation I could possibly imagine falling in love and then just being completely wrecked at the hands of someone else. It's a lot. It's a lot. We can take a break now. Hi, my name is Enya Emanzor.

And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with... Mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex.

No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special Bestie and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is The Deva of the People.

The Deva of the People. I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. That's us.

My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and of course, our favorite. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. My name is Ed. Everyone say hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago.

I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. On 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where Stan up comedy and murder takes center stage available now listen to wisecrack on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hi i'm jennica lopez and in the new season of the overcover

podcast i'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection am i ready to enter this new part of my life like am i ready to be in a relationship am i ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time i wanted to be successful on my own not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard.

And growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcomfit podcast as part of the My Cultura Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I'm Dr. Joy Harden-Brandford, and in session 421 of Therapy for Black Girls, I sit down with

Dr. Ophia and Billy Shaka to explore how our hair connects to our identity, mental health, and the ways we heal. Because I think hair is a complex language system, right, in terms of it can tell how old you are, your marital status, where you're from, you're a spiritual belief. But I think with social media, there's like a hyper fixation and observation of our hair, right? That this is sometimes the first thing someone sees when we make a post or a reel. It's how our hair is styled. We talk about the important role hairstylists play in our community,

the pressure to always look put together, and how breaking up with perfection can actually free us. Plus, if you're someone who gets anxious about flying, don't miss Session 418 with Dr. Angela Neil Barnett, where we dive into managing flight anxiety. Listen to therapy for black girls on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Jed need to step out of the room.

I think it's fair. This isn't exactly the most like uplifting conversation to have. And this feels weird, but because he stepped out of the room, I think we have to. It feels really weird. But we have to talk about this at some point. It's big news in the Spatchelor world, and it would feel even we did it in front of Jed. So I think this is a good moment to kind of discuss this and try to talk about it while he's away.

So Ashley, if he walks back in, let's just stop. But until he does, let's chat about Tyler and Hannah having their date. According to a couple sources, Tyler spent the night at Hannah's house. It's unconfirmed. I have zero idea. There's a photo. So it's real. It's confirmed.

by our sources, that it happened at her house. The photo seems like it did happen at her house. The paparazzi caught them this morning saying goodbye. They hug goodbye. There was a kiss as seen by the paparazzi, but said that because of camera angles or something, they couldn't get that kiss on camera. They hug goodbye. But the drinks date happened last night, Thursday night, and it looks like it turned

into a sleepover. did you expect this um yeah actually yes i did you i like actually definitely expected this completely honestly i didn't i did not expect them to get back together i thought that this i i don't yeah i didn't think that this would happen i thought that it was um i thought the relationship would move on i thought they'd have respect for each other but i did not think they would actually go on this date and i'm proven wrong oh that's crazy i took the date extremely seriously when she asked the other night where do you think this goes i mean if if as a bachelor fan now actually put that hat on do you want to see this work i want to see it work for hannah's sake for sure

i think bachelor nation's totally going to be torn because now they have to choose between if we want hannah and tyler together which is something we've rooted for the entire season or if we want to see tyler's the bachelor it's difficult it sucks i mean it doesn't suck i think we we want her Hannah to be happy. And if Tyler is going to be somebody who's going to make her happy for a long time, then we have to root for that. Okay. So let me ask you this to close out this conversation. This is big news. Now, is Tyler still with this happening, them kissing, staying together going on this day, is Tyler at all in consideration for the next bachelor? Is it even possible now? It's hard. It's really hard. I'd say that if it's possible, the only

way it's possible is if they like do one of those chris harrison meeting things or they sit down with hannah and tyler and they're like yeah we gave it a couple weeks um we definitely like each other but we don't think we're each other's forever person so because of that i think tyler should be the bachelor he has my you know he has my vote as bachelor i think we're going to need to see a sit down yeah a lot's going to have to happen in a short amount on time they're going to have to figure out this relationship, pursue this relationship, in this relationship, come to terms with this relationship, and then sit down with Chris Harrison and talk about it all to make it even a possibility.

I think what we should go, we'll start leaning towards is that Tyler will probably no longer, in my opinion, be the Bachelor or even be in the talks to be The Bachelor, but what we can root for is that Hannah and Tyler leave this thing happy. It feels weird considering the conversation that we're having around this right now with Jed, but hey we've seen it before in Bachelor Nation we've seen the switcheroo happen and we've seen the switcheroo become successful in two different circumstances jasonic and ari come to mind i think we should talk about that with Jed and see how he feels about switcheroo's and what exactly happens is it right or wrong or is that just part of this experiment hey let's do that

bachelor nation what do you think email us at been at ashartmedia.com let's bring him back in now All right, and we're back with Jed. Jed, what does 4-4-4 mean? Because it seemed as if you use that expression with both Haley and Hannah. It's a special number to me. I have an alarm set of my phone to pray every day at 444. Hmm. And it's something that I take very seriously.

And it's presented itself along the journey. like for Hannah and I, for example, in Greece, I can remember we were off camera and I was picking her up to pick a lemon off a tree. And to the right of her, there was like a for sale sign and her body was blocking every number on the number, like to call them but 444. So like, it's just like kind of been like a spiritual thing for me. And I like to share it with people so that they don't have something that kind of reminds them to pray or to give them some light when maybe it's It's something I like to share. So it didn't stand for like, I love you.

No, no, no. And the doc, I talked about this earlier today. I'm huge in a meditation. And it's something that I also like to share with people. I'm very open about it. But the doc was a metaphor to a meditation place. Oh, okay. And you could ask Haley that.

I would take a lie detector test on that. Swear on my mother's life. That's what it was. Got you. Now, do you think that there's any chance that down the road, what's meant to be will be, and you and Hannah could have a second chance at it? Maybe when the spotlight's not on you so much. Maybe in like a year or two. Maybe after you do a round of Bachelor in Paradise and you save the reputation, you show, you know, you show a different, you get to show a different side of you.

Right. Which I don't know that you need to show a different side of you. you. I don't think your reputation would have been at all tarnished during this season if it weren't for the People magazine coming out. I think everybody loved you before that article. You know, just like this kind of like landed in my lap to be able to go on this show and to even come on this podcast, I believe that God will, his will be done. And if it's meant to be, than it will be. It would be obviously a great thing,

but I'm just like going to really put my focus on whatever God's will is. The, the, the craziest thing about this feeling or season was how much spirituality played into it. And so we get out the show now and we hear your story and we hear the mistakes you've made. And I want to be very clear, Jed. I would hate for this to leave.

And you've made some terrible, not terrible. You made some really unwise decisions through this experience. And you've made it. And please argue with me if you don't think so. But one of our listener emails here mentions the comparison between what you did and what has happened in past seasons. Comparing you to like Jason Mesnick, who is one of my good friends. I love who made the switch, to Ari, who is now has a child with his wife, Lauren, who I guess famously broke up with Becca on national television. And this listener is mentioning the comparison that this happens more than what we like to admit to.

What about your situation? And I say this leading in with the, I think you made some really unwise decisions. What about your situation makes it so much worse, if so? I think, I mean, obviously what makes it worse to me is that it's, it's me. I'm the one living it, and I care about the people who are also living it. And who am I or anyone to judge anyone's prior mistakes or choices? I'm only accountable for my own. And, you know, I don't.

I don't feel like mine's any better or any worse than what has happened before. I mean, it's mine. I don't really know how to answer that. I mean, I think you did. I think what you're saying is, is it any worse? And the answer is I don't know if it is. And I would love for our listeners to weigh in on this. Please email us or use the hashtag Almost Famous Podcast to let us know.

is Jed's situation or his how this ended for Jed worse, better, or is it just not even comparable to what we've seen in the past during this? The show, it also just in, you know, life. I have a buddy who was dating somebody. Met, it's one of my best friends, actually,

that I've just thought about this now. Met a girl at the bar, fell in love with her, broke up with his girlfriend, and now was married to that girl at the bar. So I guess I'm at a loss to see. Is that wrong, right? I don't know. Ashley, what do you think?

Well, my situation's a little bit different because I was in love with Jared's for so long beforehand. But, yeah, I mean, I definitely wasn't an angel. I wasn't perfect in that situation at all. I think I got a little grace because it was Jared. I agree. I also.

And that you had loved him for so long. Yeah, totally. I mean, I didn't, I kissed him once in my wall in the other relationship. But I definitely was too emotionally involved with another man while dating somebody else. And that's okay. That's my thing. I don't know if it's okay. I don't know if it's okay.

I don't think it's okay. I think it's a personal decision because for me, it's okay. I should have. Because you got to where you are now. And we all have to trust the path we're all. on and that journey in my opinion it's just my opinion i think it sucks the uh some people um have to be the contrast for whatever's better for another person sometimes and you know it doesn't mean they deserve that or that it's right but that is that's kind of how life goes

sometimes you know it's just you know you might think you love someone but then when true love kind of shows itself, then you're kind of hit in the face with like, damn, like, what was I, what was I feeling or thinking? What was that moment for you during the season when you're like, oh, wow, this is real love? I could feel it building myself in Boston. It was just like this unexplainable feeling and people were asking me like, what is it? what is it? What is it? And, you know, there was just not another word for it, and I knew that it was happening fast, and it was very real. And when Hannah and I stepped into the photo booth

in Boston, and for only probably like three minutes, you know, we shut the curtain, and I guess before it was filming and stuff in there, there was like a GoPro, but I just, like, looked at her and kind of in that moment for me i was like this is this feels like it the uh jed take a second here i'm gonna i'm gonna fill him because i think we're moving past something that's a a pretty i guess compelling comment from amy and comparing to ashley and myself and you know i don't know and i really want our listeners to voice their opinions on this because The situation is this. Let's take you out of it, Jed.

Just for the sake of not talking about one single person, this is life, right? So say you're in a relationship with somebody, you're dating, and it's committed, right? It's monogamous. You've had that conversation. Things are going fine. Maybe not great. Maybe we don't even know how good they're going. And then all of a sudden, love slaps you in the face, and you meet somebody that completely

changes your world, listeners. please we need your advice here what do you do and i mean from from what you're saying jett is you ended this relationship with haley um before you went on and so it was kind of free range for you rain for you to go after hannah not knowing where that would take you i i guess my comment to all of this is i feel super lucky that i've never had to be put in that situation you know like i absolutely love Jessica and if I what if Jessica walked into a room and I didn't know her I bet my world would stop like I bet things like my whole paradigm would shift like she changed me but at the same time it's hard for me to even relate with this because there is no possible way I would let my heart

go towards anybody else right now at all like it's inconceivable for me to even think about anybody else entering into my world while I'm in a relationship with Jessica. But maybe then that's because she's the right one. And same with Ashley. So that's my question for you, Amy, is then, and listeners, when do we know it's the right one? Because it would be really unfair to any person if you're dating and you think it's the right one.

And then all of a sudden, they find out when you're in a commitment that they weren't it based on you being with somebody else. Amy, maybe you said it happens. How do you explain that moment? Is it just always, like, heartbreaking? Oh, yeah. Of course. It's always heartbreaking.

But in the same respect, Ashley is with Jared and marrying him, even how it came around because it's more true or the one or whatever the word people choose. And I believe the same for you. I saw you, Ben, when you broke up with Lauren. And it was, it was so brutal. Like, I could cry right now. Now, the pain I felt because of the pain you were in, it was horrible. So that doesn't mean that that wasn't love, but this is different and, dare I say, better?

And my thing for Jed is that Jed knew on some level that the previous relationship, love, whatever you want to call it, wasn't totally it or he never would have gone on this show and he never would have said to her, like, ended if you need to, or we're not. committed like he might have done things wrong maybe he's not perfect but on some level they knew and oh i'm gonna get a million letters on this but if her love was true the truest love she would have never gone to people magazine well i think she wouldn't have let you go on the show yeah that was my point earlier it's like i i would i don't understand why like it would be okay no matter what i said Like, can you, like, Ben, imagine, you know, you're with, um, what's her name?

Jessica, Jessica. All right. So you're with Jessica. This is before, you know, you're married. And, you know, you're in, you're in love with her. So you say, but she tries to convince you that it's okay that she's going to go do a dating show. How are you going to be on that? Yeah, that's wild to me.

That makes me sick to my stomach. It does. I, I get that point now. And even if she was sugarcoding it. He would never. throw Jessica under the bus no matter how hurt he was. And I know that with every ounce of me.

She could break his heart and he would not hurt her like that. Right. Yeah, I never thought about that way. Is, yeah, if she, if Jessica, thinking about Jessica now, the woman that I'm in love with, and she goes, yeah, I'm going to go on a dating show

to see where it ends up. No. Yeah, I mean, that would have been proof to me that you weren't that into me. Hmm. I never thought about it. But I have a question. Why not American Idol or the voice if you're trying to pursue a music career? This landed in my lap. I mean, had American Idol messaged me and said, you know, come do this, come do that. Maybe I would have. But this was what was presented in front of me. I prayed about it and it felt like the right thing to do. And I believe it was. We just don't know that yet. There will be something, I don't know, that shows that this was the path you were supposed to go on. Even if you learn never,

make this mistake again. I thoroughly believe that's what at this moment it is. You know, it's like the worst way to learn this lesson. It's the most painful way. It's in front of God and everyone. And, you know, wholeheartedly, I have learned and I have changed and I want to live, you know, a different life than I did prior. I feel like from here on forward, you are never going to give, you're going to give exact details and straight up an open, honest, Everywhere you go. I'm going to tell like way too much info to everyone. Is that bad?

I mean, let's pause for us. I mean, that's not a bad thing. That's a good lesson learned, Jed. I mean, if your lesson learned from all of this is as simple as and maybe not, I mean, maybe this isn't even simple is from here on now, my honesty and my openness and my vulnerability is going to far outweigh anything I'm trying to hide, then there's been heartbreak and there's been tears and there's been really unfortunate emotional damage done in the process, but if that's the lesson you learn,

then I'd have to say some good is coming out of it. The second is, Amy, you out of anybody has been, especially during this podcast, you've been on Jed's side in a sense where you understand his circumstance and you understand how this played out. I think it's fair for our listeners and myself and Ashley because I might disagree with you. That's what makes this podcast so beautiful.

is my opinion might be, yeah, once you're in a relationship with somebody, there isn't any going around it. But at the same time, I can definitely see, well, let me use this, for example. When I went on Winter Games, I was dating when I went on Winter Games. You were like open to dating and trying dating. Definitely. Like, I didn't go on Winter Games when I was like, I mean, how many months would you had to go without dating to then say I'm open to going on a show to see if there's my love of my life there? I just knew it wasn't the love of my life. I knew I had not met the love of my life in that season.

And so I said, hey, I'll give this thing a shot. And I think, Jed, what I'm hearing is for the difference maybe is that you were sharing the I love you's and that you were sharing a vacation. And those are the things that I'm not fully grasping is if you're willing to share that and say that. But again, there's one person in the world that knows how you say I love you on national television. It's me, buddy. Right. So, Amy, I think I'm not able to process. I mean, I can say I'm old.

I'm 45. So I can look back at a time when I fully believed I was in love with someone completely. Okay. Like the lovest love, love, strong, painful love. Do you know what I mean? So like that means it's not a perfect love. And I know that it's possible to very quickly. fall in love with someone else that is a better love.

And it cures you of the unfortunate or toxic love that you had before. That's maybe the best way I can explain it. You think the love was right and it isn't until that other person comes along and you realize this is what I want. This is better. I would like that. I was just going to touch on the vacation. thing if that's okay yeah go for it sure okay so the bahama trip was a surprise gift from haley's parents to her for her birthday which she happened to share with me on my birthday um they

covered the cost and we went and did this and it wasn't until three days before our flight to the bahamas that i knew that i was going on the show i had i there was still no for sure i hadn't been called back and that was that was that um was it right for me to go maybe not but you know up into that point we had already bought flights and it happened and you had told her that you had been fully casted at that point it was three days before yeah yeah and she was she could have i guess to play devil's advocate been like well i don't want you to go anymore like i don't want you to go on the vacation with me anymore. Right.

I think she just didn't think that you were going to make it as far as you did. I don't think, I mean, yeah, I don't think I expected to fall in love. Like, I mean, she's not wrong for that, but it's like, you just, my advice to anyone doing the show is to just come in with a very open mind that you might actually meet your person here. Mm-hmm. I know, isn't it crazy? Yeah, you just, you would not think that at all.

You might go there for every wrong reason possible, but the person that God intends for you to be with might be there. So going with that mindset. Jed, to close things up here on the conversation about you and Hannah, what did you do wrong? Let's just be, if we can break down this whole story, sum it up, where did you go wrong? I should have told her absolutely everything at the Fantasy Suite.

that's my biggest regret. I wish I would have done that. And that's what I wish I would have done. I think that's a good answer. I think that's a good enough answer. And then finally, do you wish Hannah would have handled anything differently as this thing's played out? And if so, what?

I understand how she's hurt. I mean, this is hard. This was her, you know, this was her. journey and um not to say that it wasn't a lot of the other guys journey too but like i mean this was this was about her finding her person ultimately so i understand why she's so upset and you know it's so hard once you hit that moment of engagement on there to not want to go scream from the top of a mountain that you know you found your person and to feel like that wasn't the case after all that commitment has already happened is heavy and hard so i do not condemn her

fulfilling the way she does. Should we jump into Tyler? We have to ask Tyler. Yeah, and I feel bad we have to do this with you, but we're going to have to do this with you. That's okay. Jed, how do you feel about Hannah asking Tyler out for drinks and that we have some further information on that? Do we really need to do that one from here?

We can. Maybe. You know, going into that, you know, I had so many emotions and, you know, ultimately I just wanted to let her know how remorseful and sorry I was, but I just had a feeling that something was going to come up like that and, you know, I don't really have anything negative to say about it. I just ultimately want her to be happy. Wow.

Yeah, we can talk about it when you. leave. Yeah. Are we, should we get into some lighter fan questions now? Sure.

There is one question I really like. Is it a question or a statement? It's a question. Did you pack any other jackets than the brown one

while you were filming? Are you talking about the leather one? That's what I was just going to ask because it was the most light question I could read.

Oh my God. So, you know, the packing list is huge and my suitcase was only so big And I was like, you know, surely we're going to be in tropical places. So I should just bring probably one jacket.

So that's exactly what I did. So, you know, I looked like a hunter-gatherer for most of the show. And, you know, it is what it is. What is the dog music jingle that you came up with? What dog food is it for? Oh, man. I mean, that's a pretty. I know they are, but, like, that's a pretty big deal.

I'll talk about... Charlie Shee made a living on that in two and a half men. Yeah, and he lived on the Pacific Coast Highway. Yeah. I mean, I think dogs are awesome, and I also think royalties are awesome. So, I mean, I'm not ashamed of that. And I think that, you know, it is a joke right now. And to be honest, I laugh about it, too.

It's a funny thing to hear. But I just really thought the company was cool and what they were about soon cool. And so I got on board and... you know her dad asked me what my most recent achievement was or whatever greatest achievement but I don't think he weighed out the actual possibilities of it which is fine I mean yeah outside looking in if you don't know anything then it's like that sounds so stupid but I'm not ashamed of it a dog jingle doesn't sound stupid to me at all how many times in uh are you like looking for something you're like I need blinds then you're like oh then you like sing the jingle for like one 800 blinds or something it's like those things really work can you sing us the jingle or is it like oh Totally copyrighted. This would not be a show with Jed unless we got him singing at some point. We can't do it. We can't because of copyright?

I think the company is going to love the shout-out. They probably would appreciate it. They probably would. Should I do it? I drink coffee and haven't slept in days, so here we'll go for it. But shout out better balls. You guys have been cool to me. All right.

we're here we've got our support we are with you jet all right all right if you really want to give your dog the best you gotta pick them up some better bowl yes oh man that's awesome

finally something to smile over right you can also smile over the fact that I think you look like a young Justin Timberlake wow thank you yeah you're welcome you don't think I look like Broccoli head? Who's broccoli head? That's the memes I'm saying.

I'm broccoli head. It's fine. I love veggie tell us. What's broccoli head? Because I was, that was because you're a haircut on the show. But we've never been critical like that. We'd never make fun of that.

You're not a broccoli head. You're a young Justin Timberlake. We only make fun of appearances. I don't know if you're a young Justin Timberlake in any way whatsoever. I don't get that. Really? My sister saw it too. I know who you look like, but I can't bring myself to bring it up.

Who? Did somebody you know? Personally, I can't handle talking about it. Oh, God. No, handsome, but just, like, too many scars. Oh, God. Too much pain and damage. I'm curious now.

All right. What was your favorite off-scene moment on The Bachelorette? Oh, my God. That didn't have to include, maybe not including Hannah, like a good bro moment. I have, like, I have, I have three. Okay. Yeah, tell us all three. So while we were still at the mansion, Dylan Barber and I would

put on these ridiculously colored suits that he brought one was ketchup red and the other was mustard yellow and we would put we would put sunglasses on and we would go interrupt people's interviews and then we would sit on the couch and talk the most you've ever heard in your life about literally everyone it was just a roast fest will you be watching paradise yes it starts this Monday because your friends are on it absolutely yeah yeah uh second moment was also at the mansion. I was sitting outside on the couch and John Paul

I can't even say it. We have a laugh. That's great. It's like in Sex and the City, you know, the movie, when they're like something one day really funny is going to make you laugh again. Nothing is funnier than diarrhea. Oh God. I don't know about that. That was sex in the city.

So John Paul Jones walks over and he kind of perches like Smeagel from Lord of the Rings next to me on the couch and he's drinking some cocktail and he's glaring around and then he glares at me

and he says Oh God Get it out. He's like Oh shoot I was really hoping they were filming This is a really cool way to sit I have not forgotten that

I got me out Yeah. And I think the third was also a John Paul Jones moment. Like, I love that guy so much. He just, he's inevitably himself, no matter what's going on or where he is. And he deserves all the love at the world. But we were, it was the baby date. And we had just kind of like switched scenes or whatever. And they had started filming again. And no one knew where he went. Oh, God. He was back in the labor chair. No, he was high, he was he was tucked down behind the, the rocking chairs where they were like doing like the nursing thing and taking his undershirt off under his shirt like doing like these things. He didn't want anybody to see his chest. Yeah, and no one knew where he went and he popped up and he was just like saying something was up with his pits or something. It was just funny. Everyone lost it.

We're going to see a lot of those moments in paradise. I do you declare. I'm sure. I have a feeling. Jed, once again, man, thanks for coming on the podcast. I know it's been a big day. I know you've been all over the place. We like to do this with every in-depth episode,

and anytime anybody really comes on to the podcast to explain who they are and what they're doing. Your question's going to be a little bit different. We typically ask, what do you want your legacy to be? How do you want people to remember you? I think it's appropriate for me to ask you in a moment in a season where things are swirling around you and there's a lot of negativity and confusion and I am super interested in seeing the responses from our listeners on how they would handle a situation

similar to yours but I want to ask you Jed to close out this podcast what do you want fans to know about you and in a sense what is your plea to anybody listening to clear up all it's happening to admit to any fault and also also how you would hope everybody can move forward together. That's a great question. I think that I'm human and that I make mistakes. I make them daily. I'm not perfect and I never will be.

But I've learned my lesson through all of this and that I do want to grow and I will grow. and that I want the absolute best for Hannah I want her to be happy I have nothing but love for love and support for her for the guys and you know for the fact that like

though it's been hard that I have learned one of the biggest lessons in my life hey ma'am we aren't learning lessons we ain't doing some things right so again I appreciate you thanks for coming on I can't say I agree

with every decision you made. I honestly would tell you I disagree with some of them. But what I can say is talking to you today, any human that will admit fault is somebody I can respect. And even amongst the things that's been done and the people that's been heard along the way, I can at least say it takes a big person to say they are wrong, especially when the world is watching.

So with that, this has been in-depth with Jed Wyatt. I've been Ben. Follow along. I've been Ashley. And I have been Judd. Thank you guys for having me. Oh my gosh, of course. It's been very nice to have you here.

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