The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Is 69 Still Cool?

Episode Date: March 28, 2026

Just because they're in their "golden years" doesn't mean they've given up on SEX! Kathy Swarts and Joan Vassos are talking about getting back in the saddle after losing a spouse, their honest thoughts on the little blue pill, and one-night stands!And...what do you call an F*** Boy when he's over 65 years old?!Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. How could this have happened in City Hall building? Somebody tell me that. A shocking public murder. This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics. I scream. Get down. Get down. Those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten.

End of mystery. That may or may not have been political. That may have been about sex. Listen to Roershack. Murder at City Hall. on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lori Siegel, and on my new podcast, Mostly Human, I'll take you to some wild corners of the tech world. I'm about to go on a date with an AI companion at a real world cafe right here in New York City. There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model hallucinates a story about you.

Mostly Human is your playbook for how tech can work for you. Anyone can now be an entrepreneur, anyone can build an app, and it's very empowering. Listen to mostly human on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. In 2023, Bachelor star Clayton Eckerd was accused of fathering twins. But the pregnancy appeared to be a hoax. You doctored this particular test twice, Ms. Owens, correct? I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to uncover a disturbing pattern.

Two more men who'd been through the same thing. The lesbian. Michael Mancini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trapped. Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences.

Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know Roll Doll. He thought up Willie Wonka and the BFG. But did you know he was a spy? In the new podcast, The Secret World of Roll Doll, I'll tell you that story. much, much more. What? You probably won't believe it either.

Was this before he wrote his stories? It must have been. Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you. I was a spy. Listen to the secret world of Roll Dahl on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts.

Do Part 2, it's your celebrity mentor, Kathy Swartz, and I'm joined by my fellow Golden Bachelor alum and good friend, Joan Vassas. Hi, Joan. Hi, Kathy. I'm so glad to be here with you. So we are here at the I Heart Awards in Los Angeles, and you've not been before. Is that right?

I've never been. I've watched them on TV, and I'm always, like, starstruck about the number of performers that actually come to this thing. I am so excited to be here. It's going to be great. I've been to it once before, and there are so many famous people. It's just like I can't do the whole night. I swear I'm going to meet somebody famous tonight.

I heard Taylor Swift is coming. I know, Taylor. Oh, wow. I don't think I'm meeting Taylor Swift. I'm sure her entourage is going to keep me far away from her. but I'm going to try to photo bomb her on the grid carpet if I'm anywhere near her. Okay. Well, before we get there tonight, we are going to have a very interesting little chit-chat this morning.

Are you ready? I saw the subject, and I don't think I am ready. Okay, well, here I am. Three, two, one, I just got you ready. So recently, Whoopi Goldberg opened up about her sex life, being single at 70 after three divorces. And here's what she said, quote, I am single. I do hit and runs when I need it. but I'm not married to anybody and I don't have responsibilities, unquote.

She also said, in the last 25 years, I recognize that not everybody's cut out to be in a relationship. Some people are just cut out to be one-night stance. So, okay, how would you describe sex when you're over 65? I know you're not over 65, but I'm going to cut it down. How do you describe having sex over 62, Joan? Oh, my goodness. You went right in for the killed, didn't you? You know what?

Does anybody have wine around here? I wouldn't need it. We only have some alcohol to talk about this. We only have so much time, John. I know. It's just you and I were in my living room. We're talking about sex. Yeah.

So first of all, like I got to think about Wippy Goldberg. And I think she's admitting to a lot that I would have hard time admitting to, like, on, like, so publicly. And it sounds like she is perfectly happy having a, like a, like she calls it a fuckboy, a person that she just has sex with at this age. I don't feel comfortable with that, and I'm not judging anybody. If you feel comfortable doing that, like more power to you. I wish I was maybe more free about sex. But I just am not, and I think maybe it has to do with our generation.

Like, even talking about it is uncomfortable for me, which is here I am. And I'm podcast talking about it. But I'm going to try. I really am because I think this is an important conversation. I honestly do. I think it's an important conversation. I think that our generation, you and I both grew up on the East Coast, I think there's some of that puritanical heritage.

that our parents and grandparents, you know, sent down to us, and thank you very much for that. But I do think that times are changing. We are both widows. You're obviously in a relationship with chalk. I'm not in a relationship. But I think that when I got married, my husband was my first sexual partner, and then I married him and then I didn't have sex with anyone else until after he died. So for me, what would be saying, like that takes a lot of, a lot of courage first to admit it,

but I think there are more women at all ages who are still interested in having sex. You know, we always hear about men and just men need a place to stick at. We hear that all the time. Men never lose their sex drive. I think women, often, I haven't lost my sex drive. You haven't lost yours? Absolutely not. You know what I think it's weird? I don't think it's weird, but I think it's a fact that a lot of people lose their sex drive to the person they're married to because... Boring? They become bored? I think they become, I'm not sure if it's boredom. I think they become too involved in their lives and it just becomes less of a priority. And then once that kind of happens, then it's hard to get it back. So I think what's

you're saying if you don't use it, you lose it. I kind of feel like that. If you, People made their sex life a priority in their life. I think it stays, but if they don't, but I have to say, like, in my marriage, and I'm going to admit this, and God, I hope my kids don't listen to this. Oh, no one's listening, John. I know.

No one's going to listen to this, yeah, right? We're good. If I got undressed in front of my husband, like if I were in the bedroom and I'm putting on, like, whatever I'm going to wear to sleep, if I got in dressed with him, he was going to want to have sex with me, which was flattering that he still, like,

loved having sex with me. So if I wasn't in the mood, I'd have to go in the closet and get dressed because otherwise, you know, otherwise it was going to happen. So I will say for me, when my husband died, the thought of having sex, I know you've said before on your season that you felt like you were cheating on John initially. I did.

I did not feel like I was cheating on my husband. When I, the first time I had sex after he died, it was at least a few years after he died. But I will tell you, I was worried, is he going to think I'm two thousand? thin? Is he going to think I'm too fat? Are my boobs hanging? You know, all those things that that as your body changes, we're not 20 years old anymore. And I never really stopped to think, do men think that? Do they worry about that? Do they see their belly or do they see something that's not as attractive as women they were younger? I mean, I know that some men, they don't like to talk about that little blue pill. They like to think that they're virile, whatever. But I will be

honest, I almost feel sometimes like a freak. And now my kids are going to listen and die so you and I can get an apartment. Tell me about your freak, sweetie. Yeah, I want to hear more about this. So, so I have a lot of female friends who after they had their children have said to me, Kathy, you're going to date and sleep with guys? I was like, well, if I find a guy I'm interested. I mean, I'm not just going to hang a shingle out. And they said, they said, I could care less about sex. I don't care if I ever have sex again. I have my kids, I have my tennis team, I don't care. And I can tell you many women I know feel that way. So I almost feel like I'm in the minority. Well, I'm in the same camp as you are. I don't have that conversation. Again, I feel a little uncomfortable talking about sex, but with you actually

I feel very comfortable. In fact, we had a weird conversation yesterday, not knowing we were having this conversation today. Yes, we had a conversation. So you know things about me that I probably never said to another human being. To be totally honest. I said things to you. Okay. We were, we were, We were sitting around the pool in L.A. in our hotel, at our hotel, and we just started talking about sex. And, of course, then both of us were like, Jesus, is somebody going to be sitting here? We are looking around going with a camera. They've got a hidden microphone here. And all of a sudden, the two golden bachelor from the golden battery season are freaks.

No, we're not freaks. We were talking about things that we hadn't done more than things we had done. But I feel the same way as you. And I want this to be like a PSA. Public Service announcement. People are age. Lots of them still do like having sex. And there's more to it than just the physical part of it.

I think maybe for the younger generation, so much more of it is physical. So like you said, we've talked to the 30-year-olds, a 20-year-olds that are out there dating, and they have a pretty promiscuous, I would say, sex life way more than we did when we were their age. For me, it's about intimacy.

It's about that closeness and about having a person that I trust enough to do that with. And it doesn't have to be particularly love. It has to be trust and feeling safe without them. That is where I'm different from what I thought I would be when I started dating initially. And even now, I will say, I'm either in a relationship with a guy or I'm pretty damn sure I'm going to be in one. But you have to feel, I have to feel safe. I'm not going to climb in bed with someone.

You know, I'll go, if I want release, I'll go vacuum my living room rugs and run five miles. Right, right, right. So, but I think that, I think that there's all these sort of, I don't even know what I want to say, these old sort of witch stories, you know, things, oh, women don't enjoy sex when they get older. I know that when women hit menopause, at least for me, it was great because I didn't have to worry about getting pregnant. Yeah, that is such a really right. That was great.

Yeah. But do you think sex gets worse the older you get? No, in fact, I think it's maybe the opposite. I agree. more in tune. So there was a time where I thought I am here to satisfy my husband or the man or whatever. And that was kind of my job. And like I took like the back. Well, you saw it as well, whoa, whoa, whoa. You saw it as a job. Not as a job, but I, it wasn't like the physical part of it wasn't as the emotional part of it, as the intimacy part. Like the intimacy doesn't necessarily, isn't like the,

like the ending of, you know, the sex act. So I always felt like it certainly was for the man. And I was more in tune to making sure he was pleased than myself. I am different now than I'm older. I feel like I get to have both. Well, I must just be a self-a-send of a bitch because I was never. Into that. You know, it's funny? I always, I mean, I was very reciprocal as what I'm saying.

I got to say I learned a weird thing on a bachelor season. I can't remember who the Bachelorette was, but they took, I think she was a teacher, and they took the men from her season, there must have been about 10 left, and they went to a middle school classroom, and their job was to do a sex ed class to the kids there. And so, and one of the guys got up, and I so appreciate this guy that he got up there. And he was just talking, like, in very generic terms,

and he said, you know, when a man loves a woman, it loves a man, whatever, we sometimes do it. And he said, but it's important to know that if you don't take into account their kind of satisfaction, then they're not going to want to do it with you anymore. And I was like, well, good for you that you realize that, because I'm not sure every man that I had sex with when I was younger got that. I was going to say as, and again, you know, it's not like I've slept with hundreds of men now. Yeah, me either.

But give me another couple of years. We still got time. Just kidding, I'm sure. No, but I think that now with age, for me, has come. I deserve the same treatment. And I feel like it's not just when we had kids. You know, it was like, hurry up, the kids, they got to get the kids to a little later.

Oh, no, I hear the kid downstairs is awake now. Exactly. And now I think the, I don't know. I can only say, and you can tell me if you feel differently. Now it's not just about the actual act of, you know, penetration. It's what comes before it, what it's what comes after. We can slow it down. Well, that's what I'm saying.

The intimacy part of it is more important than maybe the ending of it. But now I feel like you can have both. And I did not feel like that when I was younger. I really didn't. I felt like I got the intimacy. My husband or my partner got, you know, the ending. I love this. I can't even say it.

Isn't that embarrassing? Wait. Joan. I'm listening to me. Repeat after me. Uh-huh. My husband had an orgasm. I am not saying that.

My husband. He's in heaven now. Can you say climax? I don't know I can say any of this works. Okay, well, we're just, apparently we're not going to. They pick the wrong person to do this podcast. I became a millionaire overnight, but lost everything that actually mattered. Wait a minute, Sophia.

Did you just say he lost everything? That's right. It's inheriting too much drama week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, I just inherited a fortune after losing my mom. And now my girlfriend's entire family is coming out of nowhere with their hands up. One sibling wants me to fund their whole lifestyle. Another vanished for four years and suddenly reappeared. And my girlfriend is already giving my money away.

Hold on, Sophia. So the girl he wants to marry is already sending money out the door. And that's just the beginning. He makes a plan, sets up a trust, and finally thinks he has everything under control. Okay, so things work out then? Let's just say the people he trusted the most are the ones who ended up shocking him the most. So does the money end up being worth going through all that? To find out, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

I'm Lori Siegel, a long-time tech journalist. And consider my new podcast, mostly human, your bridge to the future. Anyone can now be an entrepreneur. Anyone can build an app. And it's very empowering. Each week, I'll speak to the people building that future. And we're going to break down what all of this innovation actually means for you. What I come to realize is that when people think that they're dating these AI companion,

they're actually dating the companies that create this. We're experiencing one of the greatest tech accelerations. in human history. And let's be honest, that can be messy. There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model hallucinates a story about you. But it's my belief that we should all benefit from this moment. Mostly Human will show you how. My goal is to give you the playbook, so you can benefit. The reason I say agency is because if we can give power back to people, then I think that's probably the best thing we can do for your mental health. Listen to mostly human on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in someone, correct? I doctored the test ones. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see what they're. tax dollars were being used for.

Sunlight's the greatest disinfected. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Alesspian Michael Marantini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap. Laura, Scottsdale Police.

As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Maricopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Why hasn't a woman formally participated in a Formula One race weekend in over a decade?

Think about how many skills they have to develop at such a young age. What can we learn from all of the new F1 romance novels suddenly popping up every year? He still smelled of podium champagne and expensive. of friction. And how did a 2023 event called Wag Ageddon change the paddock forever? That day is just seared into my memory. I'm culture writer and F1 expert Lily Herman, and these are just a few of the questions I'm tackling on no grip, a Formula One culture podcast that dives into the under-explored pockets

of the sport. In each episode, a different guests and I will go deeper into the wacky mishaps, scandals, and sagas, both on the track and far away from it, that have made F1 a dollar delightful, decadent dumpster fire for more than 75 years. Listen to no grip on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you have nerves getting back on the horse, as it were? You know, it's funny. I really didn't. Well, okay, let's say I did a little bit, but I, like I said, I still enjoyed having sex. I still enjoyed the intimacy. I still enjoy the ending.

I can see I'm calling it the ending now. And so, and I thought when John passed away, in so many aspects of my life, I said, is this all I get? Is this the end of it? And that was one of the things. You know, also that intimacy and also having that kind of relationship with another man, I thought, do I ever get to have that again? So I was seeking that out to as well as a lot of other things, like the other things that I felt like I had lost when he passed away. So I didn't think that was the end. I thought that I deserved it.

I thought that I wanted it. And I sought it out. So I'm going to be honest, I don't judge Whoopi Goldberg. I think good for you. Good for you, Whoopi. If that's what floats your boat, if that's what makes you happy, I just think that women can be so judgy at any age. Yeah.

We need to start supporting each other. Yeah. I think there's a little bit too much judgment that goes on. And I think the men are going to love us if we support each other because it's going to get them to a better place. Do you think men are embarrassed by, like, let's see. let's be honest, women, after a certain age, we need, if you're not on hormone replacement, you know, there's all kinds of things that you can use so that it's, you know,

it doesn't feel like a, it's all work stuff. I love it, sandpaper. Or up against a brick wall. Right. But do you find that men feel self-conscious about the fact they might need to use that little blue pill? Have you ever had that conversation? No, and I've been with men who have had to use a little.

Blue Pill. I think it's really pretty normal and I think it's pretty accepted. Since it's it's kind of out there in the world, there's commercials about it. And, you know, if it makes it better, I mean, the other option is that it's not going to be good. And do you want it to not be good? Do you want it to not be able to, you know, get to the point it needs to be to have good sex? I hear you and that's a very logical answer. And I agree with you. But I've had men say to me, proudly, I don't need to use a little blue pill. Well, good for you. Yeah, exactly. Good for you. But I'm not judging you if you do.

Right. In fact, like, I want it to be good. So use the little blue pill if you need to. So the men that, for me, again, I'm a little bit older than you. I find that men very quickly are more forward about talking about sex. Like they want to know pretty quickly. They want to know. They want to know. Are you going to say with me? And it's not, if I buy you and I. dinner you're going to go to bed with me. It's, listen, I'm interested in you, but I'm not going to date you if you're not going to have sex with me down the road.

Down the road could be two dates later, a month later, but they want to know up front. Have you found that as well? Absolutely. And you know what? It's fair. Because you even said in the beginning of this podcast, you have friends who are not interested in it. I don't think men ever get to that point.

Unless they have a really, like, maybe very, very low testosterone. They are having, like, maybe some physical issues. they don't ever not want to have sex. And so it's fair that they're asking that question. Did you think when you were 25? Did you, I mean, can you, I remember thinking, ooh, my parents are having sex? Yeah, yeah. God, God's a lie.

I know. And sorry kids for having this conversation on a podcast right now. I'm just telling you. Just so we're clear, your father and I only had sex three times. That's why I have three children. I was only four. Just so we're clear. Okay.

You're going to love this question, Joan. Aren't you glad you're in this podcast room with me? Where's the vodka? No, that's my line. That is my line. Okay, at our age, is there such a thing as a fuck boy? I recently had, I recently had someone trying to be a fuck boy with me. I was at an event and I ended up saying at a table.

No, no, no, see your citizen fuck boys. No, oh gosh, no. They're usually like in their 20s and 30s thinking that, like, for some reason they like older women and I don't really get it. Oh, I don't think of fuck boys determine, sorry. How many times? can I say fuck in this podcast, but I don't think that it has anything to do with you. Well, that's what I'm saying. The one experience I've, or not the one experience, but the most

recent experience happened like two weeks ago with a like 30-year-old hitting on me. And I was like, and he wanted to come up to my hotel room. And I was like, this is not happening. This is not happening. And he was very persistent. And so I think that there is a perception that we are willing to do that. So I think fuck boys are fine. And I think that apparently, enough of us are doing it that people think that they're going to be successful when they I think I think there's a whole host of reasons why young guys go after older women and and and that could be a whole podcast that could be a whole podcast agree but I also think that older men you know it's it's like something they're born with you know how many places can I drop my

my semen in the world you know I mean I think they never that's going to be the title of this podcast where oh where did I put my semen But I will tell you, I am. Do you find it with older men that they are trying to be fuckboys instead of having relationships? Personally, when I meet a guy, they find out really quickly that that's not my thing. And so, you know, I don't know, but I, yes, have had men ask me like, hey, you know, I find you really attractive.

You want to just have sex. Like, no, I don't. but thank you. Yeah. Thanks for asking. Because having sex means more to me. However, I don't judge women. Me either.

I mean, I think it's incredibly stupid. I have a couple of friends who met guys in their 60s, met men in bars, went home and had sex with them and didn't even use protection. And I'm like, okay. That's just not smart. That's just not smart. And that's not smart at any age.

Any age, I know. I mean, did you hear those stories that, that sex is so prevalent in like old age communities that they have a problem with venereal diseases yeah so i mean it's a fact just another reason not to move to a 55 and over because those sluts are spreading bad diseases their semen is all over the place i know wait a minute there's the female sluts too let's just you know they're right out there too they put their their their phone number on the fact that we said sluts about anyone having sex is really bad of us because i don't feel like it's slutty i feel like it's a like god gave you this like

you know urge to have sex and And I mean, there's nothing wrong with it. In fact, I feel the same way you do. If you are willing to do that and that is what makes you happy, I'm like, go for it, guys. And there's plenty of men that will do it with you. Yeah. John, we need to come up with like, and I've got an idea,

instead of a fuck boy at our age, how about senior fucker? I call them like, I say that about people I don't like. You know, people go, what did you say senior sucker? Senior fucker. How about fuck man instead of fuck boy? No. No. I mean, then it's like fuck granddaddy.

Oh, geez. Fuck, old geyser. Yeah, no, you know, fuck a geyser, no. I don't like any of those. Okay, wait a God, does it have to have the word fuck in it? Well, yeah. Maybe. I, what, it is the act of, I'm seriously, does it have to have the word in there?

Absolutely. No, let's call it, let's call it, you know, walking, walking dead man. I mean, are you kidding me? Okay. We're not probably going to be able to change that one. I like senior fucker. I like it. I'm Lori Siegel.

long-time tech journalists. And consider my new podcast, mostly human, your bridge to the future. Anyone can now be an entrepreneur. Anyone can build an app. And it's very empowering. Each week, I'll speak to the people building that future. And we're going to break down what all of this innovation actually means for you. What I come to realize is that when people think that they're dating these AI companion, they're actually dating the companies that create this. We're experiencing one of the greatest tech accelerations in human history. And let's Let's be honest, that can be messy. There's no playbook for what to do when an AI model hallucinates a story about you.

But it's my belief that we should all benefit from this moment. Mostly Human will show you how. My goal is to give you the playbook, so you can benefit. The reason I say agency is because if we can give power back to people, then I think that's probably the best thing we can do for your mental health. Listen to Mostly Human on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or a website. wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I became a millionaire overnight, but lost everything that actually mattered.

Wait a minute, Sophia. Did you just say he lost everything? That's right. It's inheriting too much drama week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, I just inherited a fortune after losing my mom, and now my girlfriend's entire family is coming out of nowhere with their hands out. One sibling wants me to fund their whole lifestyle. Another vanished for four years and suddenly reappeared. And my girlfriend is already giving my money away. Hold on, Sophia. So the girl, he...

wants to marry is already sending money out the door. And that's just the beginning. He makes a plan, sets up a trust, and finally thinks he has everything under control. Okay, so things work out then? Let's just say the people he trusted the most are the ones who ended up shocking him the most. So does the money end up being worth going through all that? To find out, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. In 2023, former bachelor star Clayton Eckerd found himself at the center. of a paternity scandal. The family court hearings that followed

revealed glaring inconsistencies in her story. This began a years-long court battle to prove the truth. You doctored this particular test twice in so much, correct? I doctored the test once. It took an army of internet detectives to crack the case. I wanted people to be able to see

what their tax dollars were being used for. Sunlight's the greatest disinfected. They would uncover a disturbing pattern. Two more men who'd been through the same thing. Greg Gillespie and Michael Marantini. My mind was blown. I'm Stephanie Young. This is Love Trap.

Laura, Scottsdale Police. As the season continues, Laura Owens finally faces consequences. Ladies and gentlemen, breaking news at Maricopa County as Laura Owens has been indicted on fraud charges. This isn't over until justice is served in Arizona. Listen to Love Trapped podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get podcasts. You know Roald Dahl, the writer who thought up Willie Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG. But did you know he was also a spy?

Was this before he wrote his stories? It must have been. Our new podcast series, The Secret World of Roll Dahl, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary, controversial life. His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans. What? And he was really good at it. You probably won't believe it either.

Okay, I don't think that's true. I'm telling you. The guy was a spy. Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelt's? Played poker with Harry Truman and had a long affair with a congresswoman. And then he took his talents to Hollywood, where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock

before writing a hit James Bond film. How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever? And what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids. The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote. Listen to the secret world of Roll Dahl on the iHeart Radio

app, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. What advice, Joan? Mm-hmm. Oh, geez. Get ready. Can I ask you these questions? No. What advice would you give to women who have never tried a sex toy because they might

think of them as shameful? And there are women who do. Well, okay, I'm going to say this right on camera. I've never tried it, sex toy. I didn't hear you. I've never tried a sex toy. You are a... Never.

Seriously? Swear to God, never have. Okay. who shall go nameless on our season of bachelor who has a suitcase full of them i know i'm always so amazed by that i'm always so amazed that no never had one i don't think i'm approved i just you just didn't need one never had one no never had a man that has like thought like suggested it i've never had one from myself obviously well no that i will be honest with you i did not know until recently um that sex toys i think are were much more common with younger people and

It's, it's, I don't know, I don't know why I say that. Maybe I'm wrong. But I did not know until recently, because someone educated me on this, that that's a whole other kind of sex is of intimacy of your partner and you using sex toys. And I'm kind of like, I feel cheated. Like I can do that for myself. Like I've never had a partner like suggest that. So I've. I haven't either.

But I'm saying I don't want, I'll do that when you're not around. I just, you know. So would you ever suggest it to a woman? Like to use one? Yeah. Sure. If that's what you need, you should use it. I am not like a prude.

Just because I haven't done it, doesn't mean I'm prude. Just because I don't have fuck boys or fuck, what do we call it? Old fuckers. I don't know. Whatever we're calling it. Just because I haven't done that doesn't mean I'm judging anybody who does it. I think it's great. I just, that's not what does it for me.

I like need intimacy. but I can't say that like if someone suggested it I would say no to be honest I've never tried it. Do you think women our age? I don't know. Maybe it's just the way I grew up. I have grown out of it. I'm just going to be honest. There's a lot of freedom in my mind.

The older I get the more like I don't care what you think. I'm doing what I want. I agree. But I think a lot of women feel that it's shameful to have sex traits. It's shameful to have more than one sexual partner at a time. I'm not saying I do or I don't. I'm saying it is those that. that shame, I don't think it's attached to men.

Not at all. Well, I get tired of that. Yeah. Like, I mean, this is going to be a long evolution to change society's feelings about the difference between women having sex and men having sex. Yeah, we've come a long way, maybe not so much. We have a whole other generation or maybe more to get to the right place. So when you say, fuck boy, that's why I like senior fuckers.

It can be male or female. Not old fuckers, right? Not old fuckers. Male or female? No, old, that's a state of mind. Yeah. Never. Senior fuckers.

I think that, I think, so we talk about like retirement communities and how it's so prevalent. So I think that amongst us, we all think it's okay. I think we're afraid that our younger generation or the younger kids are actually going to think badly about us. Because we don't feel badly about each other. I'm like, go for it, Kathy. I'm glad for you. And I'm like that with my friends.

I think we're worried about the younger generation. We're worried about what our kids are going to think about, not what each other thinks about us. I used to. I don't anymore. But I think part of that is, you know, the hard stop on my marriage. I mean, when my husband, you know, one day he was on, the next day he wasn't. And so it took me a long time.

When he died, you and I've talked about this, the thought of having sex, you might as well said it. And right after you have sex, we're flying into the moon. I mean, that's how. It was so far from now. Yeah, it took me years to get to the right place, but I did get there. Okay, so the next thought, I have, these are all things, you know, I stay up late and I'm thinking about, just in case, you know, when I'm not having sex, this is what I'm thinking

about, you're thinking about all night long, about what be Goldberg and what she's doing. No, I'm like, I want the list of men. Where does she get him? I want her cast-offs. So I know, I told you this earlier in the podcast, I have a lot of female friends whose sex drive has rock. And part of it is, you know, estrogen, they're out of hormones. Yeah.

And or they're just, they don't care anymore. They haven't used it. So I, what advice would you give to women? Because I think there is some truth to, if you don't use it, you lose it. And they want connection, but they don't, so, I mean, I don't take hormone pellets or anything. I don't. Me either, no.

I just don't. I don't want to. So I'm not sure if I can give advice because I don't have the problem, but the thought to me is that if you feel safe and you feel loved and you have that intimate connection, I'm surprised you don't have that feeling. Like, you know, I'd like to get a little closer to this person. I would like to do this in the bedroom and sort of sit there watching a movie. Like there's the next level.

Like you can only get to a certain level with a person if you are not willing to have a more intimate relationship. Like I think it stops. But see, I think women, and we talked about this earlier, I think there's so much tied up. A woman may say, I have low sex drive, but maybe really what's going on

because we're all about women. Unfortunately, it's our bodies, our face, our hair. How do we look? Do we look our age? We want to look younger. You think men sit around? run have these conversations? But that's the whole thing about safety. Like if you feel safe like this, I'm not going to be judged because we have a relationship

that's big enough or good enough that I feel safe with you. So no matter what if, you know, if you see me undress and my boobs aren't up to here, they're down to here, like it is what it is. But that's a lot of work. I think a lot of women who aren't in a relationship want to be touched. And that can be any kind of touch. It could be a massage. It can be a foot massage. It can be getting a pedicure. I love that. I love that too, but I think that it doesn't have to culminate in, what did you say before? It doesn't have to culminate. I don't know how I called it. What did you ever say? It doesn't have, oh, the ending. It does not have to end, you know,

Right. Just the physical touch. Yeah. And I think, again, I think women need to, you and I are pretty self-confident women. But even if you're not confident, there is nothing wrong with finding alternative ways to have that physical connection. And you know what? You might find, not you, but one might find that if you can get a little bit out of your comfort zone and try, it's not as scary, you know, as what women sometimes have convinced themselves. I somewhat feel like there may be two separate matters. I want a massage right now. I know.

I don't know. This is sweet with the massage. I do feel like they are kind of two separate things, but I feel like in the end to have a really good relationship, you have to have both. You have to have the physical and the emotional intimacy. And I feel like a woman that says, I crave touch, but I don't want to have sex with a man.

There are great alternatives. Like you said, like a massage or having, like, I love having my feet rubbed. It feels so good. It, like, it, like, brings me down to, like, another level. Like, if I'm having a bad day or whatever, I get a foot massage. I am happy for a week.

Well, I'm going to say that all of this talk has made me want to get back in the saddle like in the next 10 minutes. In the saddle, you're calling it the saddle. Oh, well, no, I'm just, you know, just. I do want to finish that thought a little bit because I feel like otherwise you just have a friend. And, you know, there's nothing wrong for that. There's nothing wrong. It's great.

A friend with benefits. You ever heard of it? Yeah, but I'm thinking about a friend without benefits. So like, let's say you are in a relationship with a person and the man really wants to have sex and you really don't. Well, that guy's your friend now. And he's going to consider you just a friend. We've covered a lot of topics here.

Yeah, we have. You like talking about sex toys? Now we're going. I know. I know where you're going with this. 69. First, before we get into it, no pun intended, is 69, when you hear that, and we're sexually talking about 69,

do you think of one on top of the other or side by side? I literally have been taking a poll in the last month. I know. And we talked about this yesterday, which is the weirdest thing. And I think it's one on top of the other, but I don't really need. So then let me just see. Hold on. Wait, it's side.

It's got to be side by side because it's 69. If it's on top, then it's 11. And it's not called 11. It just depends on your point of view. It is not called 11. It's your point of you. Side by side is 11 to me. Side by side, one, one.

That's clearly you've never partaken if you just said that, girlfriend. By the way, I've never partaken in that. Whoa. Oh, there's a newsflash. Please do not make that the headline. I sound like a really big prude and I'm really not. I know. I'm really not.

I don't. But here's the thing. I had never ever, to me, 69, I mean, I literally had to draw a graphic for someone. Like they didn't get it. They didn't get it. Oh, I understand how it works. So then they go, no, it's one on top of the other. I went, that's 11.

No, it's not. No, side by side's 11. One on top is a 69. Seven by seven. You know what? We got to wrap this up because I need to go draw you. diagram. I know how it works. I know how it works. Okay. I think, I think that, do you think that's an intimate act? Oh, gosh, yeah. Like, probably one of the most. Yeah. I think for me,

and we had this conversation, requires way too much concentration. To be doing and receiving at the same time is just a lot. Oh, you mean two finishes at the same time? A neck and neck and neck finish? A neck and neck. Their neck and neck and neck down the stretch. Okay. Well, I don't know, but this whole made me very horny, John. So I got... Wow, I'm in a room of mostly women here. One guy's married. Okay, enough of this silliness.

Listen, are you getting back in the saddle? There's that word again. But feeling nervous and need advice. Call us or email us. All the info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do part two.

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