The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Is Grey Divorce on The Rise Because of Bad Communication? 

Episode Date: July 30, 2026

Jana Kramer is talking to veteran marriage counselor Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his daughter Joy about the importance of effective communication to maintain a healthy relationship, and why you can&rsqu...o;t bring your past into your future if you want it to succeed. Plus, they tell us about their new children’s book that is perfect for any parent going through divorce with young kids! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:03:05 My guest, Joy Egerich and her father, Dr. Emerson Egerich, have also co-authored a children's book together, which I can't wait to talk about. So let's dive in. Well, I, I, I am so excited to have, I love a good father-daughter duo. This is so cute. I always, I'm interested, too, in y'all's dynamic because we'll just say Dr. Dad. How long have you, how long have you been a counselor for? Well, we've been doing marriage-focused issues since 1999. Yeah, my wife's, I, yeah, we've been married over 53 years, and we do a conference called love and respect.
Starting point is 00:03:42 And so that's been our focus. Yes. Have you read the book? Has she read? Did you write the book? Oh, did I write the book? Yes, I sometimes joke that I have to have my wife read the book eventually, but no, I wrote love and respect, yes. Yeah, that is one of the books that has been so incredibly helpful in my marriage that our therapists actually, yeah, like he's like, you guys need to read this book because it's so interesting how, like, what women want versus what men and like how they receive their own.
Starting point is 00:04:14 love, you know? And it's like I don't, I just didn't really, it didn't lock in for me until I read the book. So thank you for that. Well, thank you for sharing. Yeah. No, I really, I really appreciate that. And then Joy, as the daughter, I'm just curious, too, because I love the dynamics of, and I actually have therapy today with my personal therapist. But, you know, I'm always like, please tell me that you guys aren't just like perfect and that it's not like, you're communicating it like just so great, so perfectly all the time because like, listen, we just had a couple's therapy a couple weeks ago. And I'm like, listen, did I say it exactly how my toolbox of words, like, you know, what's really coming up for me right now is that I'm feeling, you know, scared. And I make up that you're blah, blah, blah. And it's like,
Starting point is 00:05:01 did I communicate it properly in that time? No, but I look at my therapist. I'm like, do you communicate it all the time perfectly to your wife and joy as like the daughter of witnessing this thing? Do you sometimes look at the love and respect book or whatever else your doctor, your dad is doing and being like, dad, let's like go through the chapters here. Let's skim this. That's exactly right. Well, yeah, no, it's so funny because my husband, we've been married for 10 years. And he is just now, thank you, just now reading the book. And he felt embarrassed. But he, when we first were dating, he was like, I didn't, I didn't want to read the book because I didn't want to feel like I was trying to like work an angle, you know? And so he literally was just reading it last week. And he
Starting point is 00:05:40 kept putting it down and being like, man, I get it. I get why this is sold over two million copies. I get it. It's so good. And I can hear your dad's voice. And he's even last night, my dad has these different phrases that really stick in your brain that you might remember like stepping on each other's air hoses. And we had date night last night and some things happened. And he was like, not to use a line from your dad's book, but you just stepped on my air hose. I was like, oh, boy, here we go. But no, I mean, I think that's none of us are perfect. And that is the message that my parents have always taught me to give grace to people and to assume goodwill about other people. But we all need the message, you know.
Starting point is 00:06:22 And we all need to come back to these communication principles that I've learned from my parents that we write about in this kids book that we did together just over and over and assume goodwill about other people. Yeah, for sure. Do you have any thoughts on that as well? Well, we refer to it as negative encouragement. When we do our love and respect conferences two-day event, I share the story when Sarah picked up my love and respect book and chased me around the house saying, what would you say to a husband treating his wife the way you're treating me right now? And the crowd goes crazy, but we do that because it was true, but also because I think people have this idea that everybody has a perfect relationship out there except for us. So the key is how do we rebound?
Starting point is 00:07:06 How do we repair when we have these heated fellowship moments as I referred to them? Well, I know I'm going to be lucky enough to have you guys on my podcast wind down too. So I'm going to hold a couple of those questions. But when it refers to the part two of things, right, being in another marriage, what do you think is one of your biggest tips and tools for people that are hesitant to start over, to go, okay, I didn't get, let's say, love and respect in the past. And I'm afraid to step into the, you know, into this chapter or open myself up again. You know, what can they do to open their hearts up, but also to prepare themselves for the next relationship?
Starting point is 00:07:56 No, that's an excellent question. And I mean, when we've been hurt, obviously, when there has been rejection, when there has been that kind of pain, my dad attempted to strangle my mother to death when I was two and a half, I witnessed that. And my mom separated, took my sister and me and left for five years. I talk about me being the wounded healer as a result of that. And so when you go through trauma like that, who isn't going to be very apprehensive about getting into a relationship and subjecting yourself to that again? And that's a very serious question.
Starting point is 00:08:31 And certainly it's one that I feel deeply about because there are, bits of skill you need, bits of knowledge you need, just a little skill, little knowledge. But if you don't kind of have that skill, you don't have that knowledge, or you've tried that and didn't work, I mean, then people get into a point where they really get fearful and they're overcome by that fear. But my mission, people have asked me, what is the key to, you know, you think the problems in marriage? I think, well, given there's basically two good people with goodwill, as Joy made reference, that we didn't marry Hitler's distant cousin, you know. that there is basic goodwill,
Starting point is 00:09:07 then I believe oftentimes in the initial stages, it's honest misunderstanding. Yeah. And so that honest misunderstanding is really the culprit. Now, there are wicked things that happen, violence that my dad implemented on my mother. That's a different scenario. But most people in those initial stages,
Starting point is 00:09:24 we just are on two different planets. I call it a pink and blue perspective. And just as you reference, there are different ways of interpreting things. And we have good hearts, goodwill, but we are just missing each other. And then I can talk more about that. And then the result of that is that we get upset,
Starting point is 00:09:41 we get angry with each other. And we keep thinking, you know, this isn't that difficult. I'm not asking you to do something that's difficult. So it must be that you don't care and I don't matter. Mm-hmm. Which is so hard because it's everyone's own past traumas being re-inflicted. But it's not really them. It's just our own stuff too, you know?
Starting point is 00:10:02 But yet we place it on them. I sometimes will remind myself that my now husband doesn't have to pay the debts of my last husband and the things that he did to me, you know? Like I, but sometimes I will place him in a place where I'm like, he didn't do that. So why am I reacting in a way like he did X, Y, or Z? No, very wise. I mean, that's very wise. I mean, that's exactly the kind of wisdom and prudence a person needs to bring in these
Starting point is 00:10:32 situations. In the moment, it's not always easy, but obviously stepping back and looking at this situation, and I think you even referenced earlier, sometimes we need to have a conversation about how we're going to have conversations. We need to be able to say, okay, in the event that this happens, it's unfair to you. It dishonors you. It's not fair for me to project on to you something that's not true. But I need some grace being given to me during that time. And can we kind of talk about that at some point, not to belabor the point, but I don't feel it's honorable to you that I would, you know, somehow misrepresents you. Right. Joy, did you, because you lead the, the conferences or the, is that right? Or you did? For many years, I directed their conferences
Starting point is 00:11:13 right out of college. And then out of that, you know, I was kind of just the event planner. But because I worked the book table and got everybody kind of in line, as people were waiting, I had tons of conversations with people. And the thing that I heard over and over and over is people saying, man, I wish we would have had this 20 years ago. If only I knew then what I know now. So for about almost a decade, then I worked with my parents. And I had like a division for 18 to 35 year olds when I was in that demographic. I'm now 44, which by the way, we both grew up in Michigan and we're about the same age. So fellow Michigan. Yeah. Love it. Do you play Uker? Oh, yeah. Yes. In high school, we used to play it in class. Yes. Yes. Same. Yeah. Oh, I love that.
Starting point is 00:11:57 So which part of, sorry, which part of Michigan? East Lansing. But my dad is in Grand Rapids now. My family all lived to Grand Rapids. But yeah. That's why I loved the book too. I just like knew the Michiganderness coming out of there. That's exactly.
Starting point is 00:12:08 It's just exuding. There you go. I love that. But so yeah, I was just trying to serve whether it was, it was kind of a demographic of people who were dating, wanting to be married or newly married because I, you know, told my dad, like these principles, you know, apply to everyone. But there's different things that our generation is facing that your generation didn't.
Starting point is 00:12:25 And so I was trying to speak to that. So that was that was I worked with them for many years and my and my dad and I have joked we're always doing some project together another now I'm his literary agent and we just wrote a book together but yes You've heard the chaos now you can see it do we want to jump right in? Watch all your favorite podcasts from start to finish right inside the free IHard radio app make some noise Catch every laugh and I roll on shows like bestie listen hey Jonas and Las Culturistas now with full video I'll just leave that There. It's the same hosts and the same chemistry with all the hilarious moments you've been missing right on your screen. Open the free IHard Radio app.
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Starting point is 00:15:20 Amazon Music's got the most ad-free top podcasts ready to entertain, included with Prime. I'm so excited to chat about the book. I do want to ask one question because a lot of our I do listeners are, you know, either on their second, third marriage, but a little bit older. And there's, it seems to be a rise in the gray divorce. You know, people 50 plus getting divorced. And I'm curious, like, have you seen that trend as well? Or is it something where it's, do people just, they lost communication?
Starting point is 00:16:03 or why do you think at that age it's like people are wanting to just be alone or start over? No, I mean, this is a burden that I have because I think of my own mom and dad. I mean, at the end of the day, dad didn't have evil will. He was insecure. He had his issues. He had his moments. The incidences versus patterns. And so I came out of that kind of pain.
Starting point is 00:16:26 And I used to watch my mom and dad. And I didn't have a vocabulary. But I just felt like they were missing each other. and how is it the two people who really care about each other early on end up coming to this point where someone said me the other day in her counseling, she said, women are just telling me, I've outgrown my husband. And so she's leaving because I've outgrown him. And I think, well, what does that exactly mean?
Starting point is 00:16:48 And so there is this, I think, heartache out there. And my mission is to say, well, let's reconsider. I'm so grateful that my mom and dad reconciled five years later. And I'm so blessed by that. and they changed. I mean, it really did change for the better. And so that's part of my life message. I always am hopeful that it doesn't have to end in that kind of despair because you're going to end up very alone when you're 89. There's a component here just from the research. I have my doctorate in family studies. You don't want to do something premature here. You want to think
Starting point is 00:17:22 long term here. And what does it mean to invest in relationship when you may not be getting from that relationship, which you're hoping? Yeah, no, that's a really good point. whose idea was it for the, the kid's book? My mom. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we were sitting around a couple of summers ago
Starting point is 00:17:41 talking about just his next books and projects. And my mom, you know, she just came. She goes, you know, I really think you should do a kid's book about these communication principles and set it in the land of Nuff, which is childhood stories that he told me in, you know, the dark Michigan winters when it was dark at five o'clock. You mean from September? to basically Easter, like our last semester on Easter.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Exactly right. Uh-huh. What is that up there in the sky? I know. Snow. Not the Easter bunny. Okay, so give us like, because I'm a mom of three. So, and we love a good kid's book.
Starting point is 00:18:19 I love too when there is a lesson after it. Yeah. It's actually funny. My husband and my son is obsessed. He's two and a half. And he's obsessed with this one book. And at the very end, I don't know why he loves it so much. much, but every time I'm like, there's no lesson. There's no, like, I want to, like, have him
Starting point is 00:18:34 just, like, walk away with something and it's just kind of ends. And my husband and I both are, like, I don't like it. Like, we got to, we got to hide this one on the shelf because he keeps asking for it. Like, so what is, like, what is the overall theme? I mean, I know what it is, but like, give our listeners, like, why should the mama's out there get this book? Well, I think one of the reasons that we decided to, you know, we both care about these communication principles that are pulled from a book that he wrote called Speak Your Mind, which is asking yourself before you speak or write an email or whatever. Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it clear? And so this is something, this is a message that he shared with me when I was in my 20s and we were just talking recently.
Starting point is 00:19:13 Like he probably shared it with me when I was in middle school and high school, but it didn't absorb. But in my 20s, I really asked when I was joining the workforce and, you know, really needed to get a hold of how I communicated because I'm someone who will blurt. And, and, and, and, you know, and, And put my foot in my mouth. So we were, so really these principles we want to get to parents, you know, because we really think that it will actually help them romantically and professionally. But we thought, you know what? It probably would change the world if kids started learning these principles young. And I am like you. There are books that I'm like read them and I'm like, this is mind-numbingly boring. Or it's like super silly and funny, but there's no lesson. Or it's trying to
Starting point is 00:19:54 teach a lesson and it's kind of heavy-handed. Yeah. And so, the land of Nuff, which he made up when I was little, is just a place where anything I could imagine could come true. And there was these two characters, Bega and Duga, who were best friends. I now know as an adult that, like, he was trying to teach, it was like the concepts of being and doing. So he was like trying to teach me all these like philosophical things, but through a really, really fun and funny medium. And so that's what we tried to do is teach the principles of asking yourself, is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it clear? So that kids like me, me who might blurt, learn when to think before they speak, or kids like his best friend, Duga,
Starting point is 00:20:32 who need to learn when to speak up to have the confidence to do so. I love that. And I feel like I could really use this book, too, honestly, for my 10 and 7-year-old, because the words that they're saying back to each other, I'm constantly, like, Jolie, that is hurtful. That hurts your brother or Jace. Like, that is not nice to say to your sister. Like, and it's, and I don't, that's only really the words that I have to say from it. And instead, I can be like, is that kind? Like, I mean, you know, at times I'm like, you know, how would you like to feel like if you heard that like that's not, that doesn't really feel very nice. And then like to Jolie, I'm like, okay, what is the
Starting point is 00:21:05 truth? Like obviously, like is, do you think you're that, you know? And it's, it's hard to, especially in those moments, have those kind of conversations. So I appreciate you helping, yeah, helping the parents figure out how to phrase it in a way that it hopefully can stop the name calling or the choice words. Well, and two, I'm also a parent of three years old, six years old and seven years old. And I can sit them on the couch and tell them lessons all day long. But as you know, like if we're actually, because they need to hear it over and over and over. But it will sink in if it's in a story form and a visual reference point.
Starting point is 00:21:46 So one of the other things besides those four principles that we want to become a household phrase is, can I get a do-over? So the title is Bega gets a do-over. I love that because we do make me. mistakes. And I'd say it all the time. My kids, sorry, Mommy lost her shit on you. Like, I'm like, I asked you four times to put your shoes away and you did not. So by the fourth time, I'm yelling. Like, yeah. And I didn't want to yell. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. I mean, the amount of times that I have to, my dad always says, you know, you're supposed to be the parent in the room. But we oftentimes act like a child. And so that phrase helps me when I can apologize and say, mommy was acting like a kid here, you know? And I'm really sorry. Can I get a do over? So talk to me about the doover then. Is it just they get a chance to basically redo it again? Well, it's, I mean, and dad, you can jump in. I don't mean to be taking over. But I think sometimes sometimes it's really hard for kids to say, I'm sorry, will you forgive me?
Starting point is 00:22:42 And that is, you know, that's a practice we want to have in our family. But we were on a podcast recently where it's a mom who speaks to adoptive and foster parents. And so sometimes you have your family rules of like, we say sorry, will you forgive me? and you're bringing in children who have different environments that they've grown up or just even on the playground. You know, one family might do one thing. One might do another. And so do-over feels like it's a really accessible way to kind of say, I'm sorry, and I messed up how I communicated. And so it's just, and it's for parents, too.
Starting point is 00:23:14 Like we, my dad and I, we got into a little thing this spring. And he, like, came to me with like a twinkle in his eye and he was like, can we get a do-over? We both started laughing because we had the reference point of this book. And so we just think it'll make it lighter, you know, for, you know, you can say to your kid like, hey, why don't you, why don't you be like Bega and go to your brother and I and say, can we get a do over? It's just a, it's an easier lift for them. I love that, though. That's very, that's very sweet. And I love the fact, too, that the father-daughter dynamic, I think it's, you know, I had a difficult father-daughter dynamic growing up.
Starting point is 00:23:49 But I do believe that when you grow up and you start to learn more like, okay, how is my dad? dad's dad to my dad. You know, and like, why, how, why is he the way that he is? You kind of stop, stop. I stopped placing blame and just kind of, and I'm not saying, oh, it's just who he is. Like, but I also, I'm curious, and I want to ask you this too, is I feel like my generation, like we're in our 40s, we've done therapy, or at least we've, we've gone. Like, I've been going for, since my 20s. And I don't feel like our parents, my, yeah, yours and mine. I'm sure you are a counselor, so you have, but like maybe I don't know other friends of your parents. Like, I don't know anybody else that's ever done therapy or gone into therapy.
Starting point is 00:24:33 And it's hard sometimes, like, when I'm with my dad, he's very, like, anxiously attached. And, like, I see that so much because I was also very anxiously attached. Like, that was something that I was like, I have a huge problem in that area. And then when I witness it in him, it honestly drives me nuts, you know? And he doesn't understand what it is or, and I try to explain it to him. And I'm like, we can have silence. We can have them. You don't have to make up for a lost time.
Starting point is 00:24:58 Like, we're okay. You know, but it's, it's interesting because I don't know with that generation 50s plus, do they want to hear the therapy things? Because I almost feel like they kind of look at us like, oh, yeah, you've done the therapy. You know, you know the stuff. Do they want to take in that information, I guess? I don't know. No, that's an excellent question.
Starting point is 00:25:21 I think that's kind of the first time that question's been asked that way. I think of my own dad, you know, the depression baby. I mean, you didn't even go there. You didn't even say, I love you. Like, I don't even remember my mom's, yeah, saying, like, I love you to my mom. That's right. I was 29. I still remember on the phone.
Starting point is 00:25:38 My dad was talking to me, and he said, I love you. And I said to myself, that's the first time I've heard him say that to me. Same with my mom when she got divorced. It was like, that was the first time I ever heard. I'm like, what? I'm like, I say it 10 million times a day to my kids. Yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Yes. No, but I think you're, you know, I don't know your father, but there is an insecurity that he has that he's probably felt like, as you just said, he failed you. He's wondering if you, you know, hold that against him. I mean, I don't know the dynamics there, but I think this challenge for all of us is part of emotional intelligence is self-awareness and coming to the point of looking at the strengths, looking at the vulnerabilities and being able to continue to grow in that. And I think that we have some real, for great wisdom. I applaud that. But then the question is, how do we deal with our parents? And this is where you're seeing younger kids are canceling their mom and dads because, you know, they feel hurt by their mom and dad, therefore mom and dad are hurtful. They feel offended by mom and dad, therefore mom and dad are offensive? But is that the truth? I mean, are your parents really goodwill people who are trying the best? My mother used to always say to me, your daddy doesn't know how to be a daddy. His daddy died in the 1918 flu epidemic when he was three months old. your daddy does not know how to be a daddy.
Starting point is 00:26:55 She continued to express empathy toward the very man who she was separated from for many years. And one day I realized that was a gift that she gave to me that she was empathetic toward this. And so I never had hostility toward my father. And there was a recognition that he had his limitations and that he didn't have a daddy. Did I tell you that? And so the same thing with you. And I think this is the challenge. Instead of judging people, let's extend empathy to them, which is.
Starting point is 00:27:22 a real sign of your wisdom. I mean, that needs to be applauded. And I'm burdened about the younger generation that is not empathetic toward the shortcomings of their moms and dads. Well, I think, you know, Jana as someone, yes, who has been going to therapy on and off by myself or with my husband. And sometimes people are like, you and your husband, you know, go to marriage counseling, even though your dad wrote love and respect. And I'm like, we call it preventative medicine. And we love seeking counsel from my dad. But it's also good to have, you know, on neutral third party. Well, she also knows that I told her up front that I'm always going to be 51% in favor of
Starting point is 00:27:59 Matt, her husband. Always going that direction, Joy. She didn't want to hear that. Yeah, my brother's spouses, which I think actually is fair because any person marrying into our family would assume or to any family that the parent is going to side with their child. So I love and hate that they do that. Anyways, one of my, a term that I'm sure you know,
Starting point is 00:28:22 from being in therapy that really helped me let go of some people in my life, not from a like, I'm never going to have a relationship with you, but actually to have freedom in that relationship is the term radical acceptance. Oh, yeah. And yeah. And I just like when my therapist defined that for me for some, I just was, I really wanted to mend the relationship. And I finally got to a point where I was like, I can't change them.
Starting point is 00:28:46 And I'm just going to radically accept who they are. And as a person of faith, just give great. to them. It doesn't mean that I have to have unreasonable boundaries or need to protect myself in a way. But I actually found that I didn't need to protect myself as much anymore when I gave them radical acceptance. And I think that's something that I would hope for our generation who has parents who won't go to therapy like my dad's saying of just outside of really being evil or really need to separating yourself. I just feel like a lot of people are going to have their parents get to their deathbed and they were going to regret all those years that they set way too strong of
Starting point is 00:29:23 boundaries just because their parents didn't operate the way that they did in their enlightened having gone to counseling self. Right. Yeah. And I, you know, I reflect on that even myself. I got a huge blowout, you know, last year with my mom. And I think a lot of it was my own expectations of who I wanted her to be and of who I thought she was going to be as a grandparent, you know, or as a mom like, or the things that I. I wanted and it was like I can either hold on to this like steak and be like, nope, I don't want a relationship with you because you're not giving me what I want and you don't want to go in a girl's share with me like that like and I'm just and I just was like or I accept that
Starting point is 00:30:00 she is who she is and the times we've had and that she is my mother and like the grandma of my children and we can have still good times together and doesn't have to look how I thought it was going to look. And I think it's it's like a sad but yet, okay, like we're great. She just came to the lakehouse in Alabama and we have we've had a great time and it's just I but I put so much like I'm gonna stake on my boundaries and I'm and then I'm like this is this actually more exhausting to be angry at someone who that's not who they're that's not who they are yeah yeah the word freedom came to mind when you were explaining just how you felt in the first situation versus the second sorry dad what you're saying no I mean I created this analogy years ago about you know a son who's very very upset about
Starting point is 00:30:46 his father, and because his father pushed him off this cliff and fell on the rocks, was knocked out in the hospital, and they could never really find the father. And so for years, hang on it. My dad pushed me off a cliff, but there was a helicopter pilot who videotaped the whole thing. And his father's father was in the woods with a shotgun. And his father in the back, and his father fell forward and pushed him off the cliff and then went into the open sea, and the grandfather went in the woods. that analogy to say, it's helped me to be empathetic toward people who are inflicting pain upon me because quite often there was another generation. And if you will sit down with them and pull out
Starting point is 00:31:27 that story, you'll find explanation as to why they've made decisions the way they've made it. And quite often, it's self-protective. They were so deeply hurt that they made a commitment, never again. And of course, now then we suffer the consequences of that in the next generation. And that image really helped me let go of my father. And for me, and for me, and for you. And for forgive him. But that doesn't mean you excuse the wrongdoing, and it doesn't mean that I wasn't the wounded healer. I tell people, you know, they sent me to a military school at age 13. I was there for the next five years. I wet the bed until I was 11. I tell people, you probably, that's more information you want to know. But there was a moment when I picked up a butcher knife and I told
Starting point is 00:32:05 mom, I was probably about 11. I'm going to stab dad. I'm going to kill him. And she freaked out. She had two businesses, very successful woman. I realized it was false bravado, freaked her out. but I use those illustrations to say, look, people who have hurt us often have been hurt. And how do we then deal with that without accepting that? But if I live my whole life as the victim, then I'm damaged goods forever. I've got to come to a point where I, how am I going to process this? And this is where your wisdom is so refreshing, you're saying, you know, I'm going to analyze this. I'm going to look at this.
Starting point is 00:32:41 I'm going to assess this. and I'm going to accept some things here. I wish I could have my expectation fulfilled. I think there could have been so many things that have come to me that would have been beautiful and enriching and meaningful, but I was deprived of those. But now what? What do I do with that?
Starting point is 00:32:59 Yeah. You've heard the chaos. Now you can see it. Do we want to jump right in? Watch all your favorite podcasts from start to finish, right inside the free IHard Radio app. Make some noise. Wooee!
Starting point is 00:33:15 Catch every laugh and eye roll on shows like Bestie List. Hey Jonas and Las Culturistas. Now with full video. I'll just leave that there. It's the same hosts and the same chemistry with all the hilarious moments you've been missing right on your screen. Open the free I-Hard Radio app. Search video podcasts and tap watch.
Starting point is 00:33:35 In 2015, teenager Joy Morgan discovered strangely compelling YouTube sermons from the religious group Israel United in Christ, or IUIC. Her initial curiosity developed into devotion. She distanced herself from four. friends and family, embraced new identity, immersed herself in the IUIC, and believed she'd found the truth. IUIC is the best family that I've ever had. In fact, she had found what many called a cult.
Starting point is 00:34:01 And on Boxing Day 2018, Joy disappeared forever. In the new six-part investigative podcast, The Missing Sister, Charlie Brinkhurst Cuff and Freiturn explore Joy Story, the family she left, and the religious group she found. You know when you get that feed, I'm like, you just, I don't want to be here. I want to get out. I want to go ahead now. It's a story about truth, lies, a young woman yearning to belong, and a family still waiting for answers.
Starting point is 00:34:27 All episodes available now to binge. Listen to The Missing Sister on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You said to me, yo, you know, keep at it, because you let me rap for you. It was magical for all of us. We made it. We made it. Yeah, I'm like, we?
Starting point is 00:34:44 You know, I'm like, I know these guys, but who are you? I'm MC Jen and this is laugh but not least. I'll be chatting with guests from all walks of life about the power of humor when it comes to facing difficult times like the co-founder of Rough Riders, Darren D. Dean. Talking about as a kid, do you remember that we met even way before that? Let me think.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Did you walk up to the gate? That was me, Dee. That was me. The day we found out that you and the whole crew was at Hit Factory, the mission was to get me to go to the gate, start freestyling and see if I could get in the studio. I'm rapping and then suddenly I hear a voice, Hey, open the gate.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Let him in. The gate slowly went. Come, come, come, come. They all, they're watching this, and they watch me walk into there. And that is a moment that I will remember for the rest of my life. Listen, and laugh but not least,
Starting point is 00:35:30 with MC Jen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, I'm Nora Jones, and I love playing music with people so much that my podcast called Playing Along is back. I sit down with musicians from all musical styles to play songs together in an intimate setting. Every episode's a little different,
Starting point is 00:35:47 but it all involves music and conversation with some of my favorite musicians. Over the past two seasons, I've had special guests like Dave Grohl, Leveh, Mavis Staples, Remy Wolf, Jeff Tweedy, really too many to name. And this season, I've sat down with Joshua Hami,
Starting point is 00:36:03 Sarah McLaughlin, John Legend, and more. Check out my new episode with Phineas. So I went home and I asked Billy if she wanted to sing it. She immediately made it her own thing. No, faith. You really know how to make me cry when you give me those oceans.
Starting point is 00:36:28 So come hang out with us in the studio and listen to Playing Along on the Iheart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All of this is such good information too, like for people that are starting over. And, you know, just to circle back to your book one last time before we close out, like why also would this be a great book for people going through a divorce, you know, with young kids to read to them? because, you know, I remember when I, when my kids were younger and I was going through my last divorce, it was really hard to explain things to my kids, too, because they were at, you know,
Starting point is 00:37:05 they were just younger. But it was, it was hard to, you know, kind of hold on to hope, too. So what would you say would be the hope within the book for someone that's divorced that has kids that's also reading the book? Well, I'd say, first of all, we love our kids. We love them so much we'd die for them. I used to say, I love you so much. I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I, I'd, I, I, I'd go into a burning car to save you. I mean, I love you that much. And so apart from our own pain, we want our children. And these four questions, is it true?
Starting point is 00:37:32 Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it clear? The book that I wrote, we did a national research on this. These are all distinct. They don't bleed into each other. They're like four legs on a table. These are very powerful concepts.
Starting point is 00:37:45 And as parents, we want what's best for our children. And so the question we're asking is, do I want my child to lie? Do I want them to be unkind? Do I want them to say things that aren't necessary? I wanted to go around being unclear. No parent would say yes to that. So I think we're giving this to them as a gift, apart from our own trauma, our own pain.
Starting point is 00:38:03 And I think as adults, that sometimes is unfair. Sometimes we have to be the generation that breaks the curse, that we are the victims of somebody else, but let's make a decision as the adult in the room not to put our children through that. So it's a standalone opportunity, and that would be the first thought that comes to my mind. I don't know if that answers what you're asking.
Starting point is 00:38:23 No, it's great. and I love it. And you can pre-order Big It Gets a Do Over now, and it comes out on August 18th. And I have so many more questions and I'm so lucky that I get to steal you again for Wind Down because I've just been writing notes. I feel like it just a good day of therapy. So thank you for coming out. I do Part 2. Yes. And are you really going through it and need some advice feeling lost in your divorce process? Send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials. I do part two and IHeart Radio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. Thank you guys so much for coming on. Thank you. On Raiders of the Lost podcast, we explore cinema like no one else, including huge interviews with stars like Ryan Gosling on Project Hail Mary. It was like the Jaws Shark. Didn't always work, came with its own problems.
Starting point is 00:39:21 That's what made it great. The cast of Obsession. On set, there was so much magic happening with each scene we were putting together. Deep dives into classics like 2001 a Space Odyssey or Fight Club. Plus weekly episodes on all industry news. Listen to Raiders of the Lost podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And for more, follow at Raiders of the Lost podcast and at TikTok podcast network on TikTok. Hey, Portlandia fans.
Starting point is 00:39:51 Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen here. The Dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form. We're launching Podlandia, AEO rewatch, our brand new podcast where we revisit every episode of Portlandia together. breaking down sketches, going deep on our iconic characters, and pulling back the curtain on how it all got made. And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life. Guest stars, collaborators, and friends, including director Jonathan Chrysall, the mayor himself,
Starting point is 00:40:16 Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann, and many more. Kyle is going for it here. You fully improvised, not just words, but a song. Well, I thought you were all going to write a song. I remember you thinking that. Listen to Podlandia. A.O. Rewatch on the Arch. IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:40:37 What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers. Hey, what's up, y'all? It's your girl, Sam Jay. And we're the host of everyone watches women's sports, a new podcast from Together and IHart Women's Sports. We're breaking down the biggest headlines. Naomi Osaka, showing out. Shoutouts to you, Naomi.
Starting point is 00:40:51 The viral moments. I've been obsessed with Kashan Rock's boxing journey. She looks good. Her combos are swift. And the stories everyone's talking about across women's sports. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's sports on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Every week, the news gets worse. The world gets crazier, and Yamanika is here to tell whoever's responsible, you're the problem. Do you know I just found out who Sidney Sweeney was? If he got a bunch of women, then I should have a bunch of men. Do better or do less, so I don't have to do so much. I'm Yamanika, and I'm out. Listen to you're the problem with Yamanika on the IHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:41:35 This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.

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