The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - It Goes Down in the DMs with Andrew Spencer

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

Ben sits down with Andrew Spencer from Katie Thurston’s season for an update on his life since leaving the sand in Paradise. Andrew shares some wild stories from The Bachelor Live on Stage, and we find out how he kept such tight friendships with the guys on his season. Plus, we hear the latest on his romantic life and why he identifies as a “ghoster/obsessor”.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

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This is the Ben and Ashley I, Almost Famous Podcasts with IHeart Radio. It's a very special episode of the Almost Famous Podcast. We are sitting in Hotel Bel Air in Los Angeles at the site of Marilyn Monroe's final photo shoot, and I have Andrew Spencer with me.

Andrew, this is the very first time I've ever been able to interview you, I think. Yeah, I mean, I've been on this podcast, but you weren't there that time. I seem to disappear when you come on. Yeah. Okay, I want to start with this question. I just had Becca Kufrin on.

Okay. She was the co-host last week. Becca and I hosted Bachelor Live on stage for the very first season of it before COVID shut down. We talked about a little bit with Becca. You did, I believe, some guest roles, season two of it, right? Yeah, that's correct. And then you were going to be there for them.

this season in Arizona, right? Yep. Unfortunately, it had to shut down. I just want to hear, like, are you disappointed? Were you relieved? I mean, there was such a fun show to be on stage, a different energy, and you got to do it before. Right. So were you super bummed about that?

It was kind of either or. Like, I was in a spot where I had a lot of things going on. So it was definitely one of the things where I was like, okay, I caught a break here because now I can, like, focus on other things. But sometimes being on the stage and just being around Becca and everyone, it's like a really fun time. And you never know what's going to happen in Bachelor Live on stage. I had a really good time the first time around. So that's what I was like, yeah, I'll definitely do it again. Yeah. I was bummed to hear it ended because the team there was so great.

Yeah. Oh yeah. And it is a different feel. Like, it's so funny. And I want to talk to you about your experience through Paradise. But I really wanted to start with this because isn't it interesting that you go on this show really with no idea what to expect? And then all of a sudden you find yourself on stage sometimes in front of thousands of people with a skill set that they don't prep you for like you have I mean the fans out there are watching they love you right they're celebrating you they're cheering for you they're so happy to see you but behind the the curtain I remember talking to Becca being like I don't know how to do this like I have no skill set when it comes to hosting a stage show yeah that was my first time and I was like they're like

screaming like here's your bachelor and I'm like oh my god yeah I'm like waving and just kind of like hiding behind Becca. And that's also that helped me. Like if I didn't have Becca, I would have been screwed. So she kind of like, she took the, took the wheel of the whole show and I just kind of followed her and kind of made it easier for me. And I feel like once you go on The Bachelor, you kind of understand that like you could do anything. Because like if you can withstand like the social media aspect of the Bachelor, everything else just comes easy and you're just not nervous about anything because, you know, people have already said things about you. Talk more about that. Like, yeah. I mean, like your confidence is

through the roof, for one, you got a bunch of people you don't know who say, oh, you're this, you're that, you're great. And also, you get both ends. And I've been an athlete my whole life, so you know criticism is the thing about your job. And when you get so much of it, you get so used to it. And then, like, at this point, you're like, it doesn't even matter because I'm still, you know, going through whatever I have to do. So that's kind of how I looked at it. And it was, like, very easy for me. Once I got going, I was like, all right, well, if they don't like it, that's on them. You know what I mean? If they think I'm boring, they're boring to me as well. So that's kind of how I looked at it as. I don't know if anybody has ever said

you were boring. I mean, obviously we have a great lineup. We have some great content. We've been promising it. We're going to have you. We're going to have Nate. We're going to have Justin. But we've got you right now. And your personality has always been one that I feel like has brought joy to the room. Even on the show, I think it's been apparent that people, like, whatever it is about you, like people watch you and they enjoy it because there is a joy coming out of you. Has it always been that way? Or did you really kind of find that out about yourself from the show? No, it's always been that way. I think a lot of it comes from my mom, though, you know, struggling growing up. I think the one thing that she always did was do everything with a smile. So we had like the best times,

even though we didn't even realize like we weren't in a good spot like in life. But I was like, we always laughed. My mom's hilarious. My brother's hilarious. Way funnier than me. So like I have all these, and competition-wise, I'm like the least funniest out of the whole family. So everything was always a good time. And I felt like if I just do that, everything else feels better around. You know, if I make these people feel good, the whole vibe's going to be good. I feel like I like to set the tone on having the energy and bringing that to the group. And I feel like that's why they value me, my friends, because they know I'm going to bring that, you know, just happiness, even then things are bad. The, a question I'm going to ask all of the guys that

here right now. It's something I'm super curious with. You guys came off of your season. You guys have been friends. It happens every season. You know, I've seen 14 seasons now since my time on The Bachelor come through. I know, man. I know, dude. I'm getting home. And I'm still only 34, right? I'm 34, yeah. Oh, wow. I know. Don't be surprised. You're sitting next to your 20? 25. Oh, shit, man. Wow. Oh, 26. 26 and 27. Yeah. So I turned 26 when I was The Bachelor. But every season, and I've kept some good friends from the show. Right. And I've made new ones too. But your friend group has really stuck together. Yeah. It feels like this isn't like a temporary thing. This feels like this isn't,

hey, we're getting invited to the same events. We're going to the same like, you know, things together. So we're going to stay friends. Like you've stayed friends outside of what, why? Like what's been the secret sauce? Um, I think, you know, you just find some people. who just have the same values as you, I think we have an incredible time together. I mean, we laugh so much. Like, why would I trade that away for anything? And then, like, at the end of the day, like, these guys have been there when no one really understands what you go through in this process. So with that, and then with family matters, like, they've all come to see my grandma. And, like, it's been, like, you know, just emotionally, they've been there for my support

as well. And I don't think a lot of my other guys from, like, understand I just kind of kind of be vulnerable. I know you hate that word, but like they do and they know exactly what I'm going through and what I'm thinking. And they just have that little thing that most people don't have in friendship. So I'm very, you know, appreciative of them. And I feel like me moving in with Justin didn't have no idea, any idea what was going to happen. But we got in a lot closer. And I feel like that's not going to change. I feel like these guys are my brothers for life for sure. Yeah. I don't hate the word vulnerable. in fact it is a great characteristic that comes from the show you know you're a bunch of people

to go on this random show you come off of and all of a sudden you're sharing your feelings more openly and then the farther you get away from it and the farther you get away from that group the less and less it happens and so you kind of get used to not being vulnerable you know I have a wife that I am vulnerable around but my buddies maybe not as much anymore and I miss that because there was those shared experiences from the show right that help you open up. Well, you had a, you know, you really had a great run on The Bachelorette, but then you kind of catapulted yourself into Paradise. And I think that's really where you found, well, people started to get to know you better. Yeah. I think Paradise is the spot where people get to know

your personality a bit more. I feel like on The Bachelor, Bachelorette, they're focusing on the main lead. So it was fun to just kind of be able to open up and people get to see who I was. I get to see who my friends were and understand like why we are who we are. Paradise was tough for me though but um you know why was it tough explain you know try if not I'm going to ask you for more direct question trying to find love is uh is hard in paradise um you know there's so many different avenues you get weather concerns you got you got you got deal with you know just so many other things that you didn't have to deal with on the bachelorette so um it was definitely tough but you know I think it was enjoyable at the same time.

Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer.

Jody Sweeten. Monica Patton. Elaine Welterah. I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I got to go. I don't know how. But that kicked off the pivot of how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them.

Every episode gets real about the why behind these changes and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push to make your next pivot. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots, now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And here's Heather with the weather. Well, it's beautiful out there, sunny and 75, almost a little. little chilly in the shade. Now, let's get a read on the inside of your car. It is hot. You've only been parked a short time, and it's already 99 degrees in there. Let's not leave children in the

back seat while running errands. It only takes a few minutes for their body temperatures to rise, and that could be fatal. Cars get hot, fast, and can be deadly. Never leave a child in a car. A message from Nitsa and the Ad Council. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players from rising stars to legends chasing history. The predictions will we see a first time winner and the pressure. Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, you know. Plus, the stories and events off the court and of course the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experiential sporting event. I mean, listen, their whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive for all tennis fans,

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Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. Well, it feels like, and as we prep for this, a lot of people were curious about your relationship with Teddy. Teddy recently has said that the producers kind of push her to only have a relationship with you. Yeah. When you heard this, how does that make you feel? What's your response now? I mean, months removed, right? But still, how does that feel? I mean, I just think is weird. Like, if the producers did do that, I would just be like, damn, like, why couldn't you just tell me or why couldn't she just tell me that she was interested in someone else? So I think for me, I was just like, if it's not, if you're not feeling something, just talk to me

or if I wouldn't, I would hope no one would force me on someone. I feel like I'm a lot better than better than that. I would hope. Yeah, we need to help this guy out. Nobody's shaking their head in the room though. Yeah. All your buddies are sitting there staring. No, you are though. I mean, yeah. And I think if that was the case, some honesty there would have been nice because it probably would allow you to have a little better time, right? Oh, yeah. And I feel like I would have been able to bounce back and do something different, you know, which way I was thinking about someone, whether than me thinking this was, you know,

someone I really want to fully pursue. I could have made an adjustment. And but me not knowing anything, I was just sitting in the dark thinking, I'm in love. Yeah. And she has no feelings whatsoever. So I feel like that was, that was. tough part is just kind of like being in the dark and not just having that communication. And she recently just got engaged.

What's your response to that? Congrats to her. I think that's awesome. I don't have any like there's no no ill will towards each other. I think, you know, what happens happens, you know, if it wasn't meant to be. So congrats to her. I think that's amazing that she got engaged. Yeah.

Well, I mean, one of the things, and I'm speaking from my own personal experience too, because, you know, I had a relationship with Lauren. When things ended with Lauren and I, we went our separate ways. And we didn't really talk. We kind of closed like life stuff out because we had a lot of like interconnected things in life. But we never really had closure until recently. And it really didn't even come through Lauren. It came through her now husband, Chris, who I played in a golf tournament with and who it was incredible.

And it maybe there wasn't ever the conversation, but it was like, hey, she's happy and moved on. I'm happy and moved on. Not that that ever wasn't the case, but, like, we're in good terms. Like, if I saw her, I'd be happy to see her. Yeah. Did you ever get any closure with Teddy, or is that still something? I feel like closures, you just know when it, you know what I mean? If that happened, if I ever saw her, I think we'd be, you know, we'll be super chill,

would be really good friends. I don't think that we had that kind of relationship towards each other. She's a great person, like great energy. I think we were good friends. We laughed a lot. So if I look at it that way, I'm just like, there was no ill will or intentions. for that, for us to get hurt or whatever to happen in that situation. So I think that was enough closure for me once, she left.

I was like, okay, well, well, I mean, obviously I didn't feel that way at the time, but like now I'm thinking back on it. I'm like, I think that was enough for me to say, it's time to move on. And I've moved on. Well, it leads me to a great question. Thanks for the segue. You have moved on. Yeah.

We also read that you have gone on a few dates. I did, yeah. They've gone well. Yeah. Are they still going well? Are you out there dating? I mean, I was just in a, like a, yes, we are a video in this. So if you're looking at your reaction, that is going to, that is something we have filmed. I was just in a five, six month relationship.

We just recently broke up not too long ago. But, you know, still kind of working through, see what's next. Yeah, we'll see. How does a guy like you go out on the town? in Chicago or L.A. or wherever in the world you're spending your time and filter through who you're going to pursue a relationship with or not. It's a lot of patience, man. It's a lot of shooting shots, you know, D.N.' You're shooting shots? You got to put up shots. Even sometimes you've got to block shots. So it's just the game. You know, and you just got to live with the result and one's

going to hit at some point. You know what I mean? So that's kind of my mindset right now. You're not trying to get too, you know, too high or too low on, you know, the dating aspect. I just kind of want to live a little bit right now. I, uh, I was actually sitting at an I heart event in Las Vegas six years ago. And doing something very similar to this, it was a bunch of like my buddies at the time talking on a microphone and I was like, they're asking me why I'm not dating. I was like, I don't know. I just don't know how. Like, I don't know how to enter into it. They said, you got to start DMing people. And I was like, that seems so weird. What do you mean? Yeah.

But they talked me through it. And then after the recording, they were like, no, we're serious. You got to start DMing people. And I DM my wife. And that's how we met. Oh, wow. I messaged her. I said, hey, if you're single and you're ever in Denver, I'd love to take you on a date.

If you're not single, look at it as a compliment. Right. And we never, from that DM on, we never stopped talking. I never saw anybody else. And now we're married. So I'm telling you, it isn't a bad idea. No, no, I shoot shots. I mean, I'm not worried about that.

I just, you know, I think sometimes I get. to a spot in a relationship where I just feel like I'm stuck. Yeah. So I can't get over that hump yet. So I'm just kind of like, right now I'm just in my head a little bit about it. So I'm just like, why do I get to this point every single time? And then, and then- What's that point? I don't know.

If I like, I self-sabotage in a way, it's not the same time, but also like, I don't know, like the part where you're about to like really go into a relationship. So I always get to that point. I'm just like, all right, are we going to plateau? And I like start depressed and I start acting weird. And I'm like, so it's just like a reoccurring thing that I have to get over. So are you a ghoster? I was.

I'm like a, I'm like a, I'm like a ghoster slash obsessor. Not obsessor, but like I want to like talk. No, I like this. Keep going. I may talk too much. So she's probably like, get away from me. So yeah, that's kind of how. Yeah. I'm just like, I'm like super lovey-dovey or I'm a ghoster.

Your buddies love this. I know. Yeah, they felt that one. They said they either agreed or disagreed, but whatever it was, they liked it. All right, well, final few questions. Just like calling me Joe from you. I swear that's not what I meant. I meant lovey-dovey. I don't think anybody here, anybody here thinks you're anything but lovey-dovey. All right. So a final few questions for you here. you are single you're looking to move on you want to move on

yeah you need a little help it sounds like doing that like we all do right will we ever see you back on the beach um it's a possibility I don't think this year but um if the show is still going and if I'm still single I would definitely go back on again um I you know I think it works

it just didn't work for me last time so we've been talking there's a lot of incredible people that I think will be on the beach this year just like there is every year but it feels like uh the women are are really like like amazing and i don't know who the men will be that will be there but the women are like incredible that we expect to be there is there anybody that stood out to you that you would want to show up for i thought Zach had an incredible cast so i mean um like i said i'm not like putting a name on any one person i think uh there's a lot of good girls i think that might go to the beach so i'd be interested in all i mean

So I'm not like putting a one person name. I thought they were all great. Andrew, you're not going to be in paradise. It doesn't sound like you're single. You're out here in L.A. right now. What is next for you in life? How can people find you? No, just a lot of different things out here are next for me.

I'm trying to push to do some stuff more with hosting. We'll see. I got some big things planned. But for now, you can probably see me in Chicago or, or Los Angeles, you know, Instagram, TikTok, that's probably where I'll be. So you're pursuing that. Hosting is kind of the lane right now. You're looking to...

Yeah. So hosting, any kind of entertainment avenues, I've been kind of flirting around with that, with different companies, and we'll see if one lands. We wish you the best. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. It's a pleasure. Super fun.

You didn't even know you're going to be on a podcast. I did. I thought you were watching on. I'm sorry. My brain's all jumbled. of all right. You did great. Wasn't prepped. Hey, I tell you what, your buddy's in the room. I'm

looking forward to talking to everybody, but it's great to talk to you. Best of luck. I appreciate it, Ben. Thanks for coming on. Thanks. This has been another special episode of the Almost Famous Podcast. Andrew Spencer, thank you for joining us. Until next time, I've been Ben. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, Almost

Famous Podcasts on IHart Radio, or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew. Philips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD, oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency

Intercom and listen now. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right. They gave you the answers and you still blew it. The Puzzler. Listen on the I-Heart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

If a baby is giggling in the back seat, they're probably happy. If a baby is crying in the back seat, they're probably hungry. But if a baby is sleeping in the back seat, will you remember they're even there? When you're distracted, stressed, or not usually the one who drives them, the chances of forgetting them in the back seat are much higher. It can happen to anyone. Parked cars get hot fast and can be deadly. So get in the habit of checking the back seat when you leave.

The message from NHTSA and the Ad Council. Culture eats strategy for breakfast, right? On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Belisha Butterfield, media founder, political strategist, and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership.

I am a free black woman. From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys, Valicia's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. Listen to Culture Raises Us on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.