The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Jennie Garth’s Sex Education from Susan and Kathy of The Golden Bachelor

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

Jennie, Susan and Kathy are giving you intimate details of their sex lives. From sex toys to viagra, Jennie Garth is blushing as Susan and Kathy reveal every intimate detail. Plus, top secret insights about Joan and the “Golden Bachelorette” including who Susan is flirting with this season. If you’re looking for your Part 2, this is the sex education you need.  Ready to find love again?Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your... free iHeartRadio app search emergency intercom and listen now let's start with a quick puzzle the answer is ken jennings appearance on the puzzler with a jacobs the question is what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land jeopardy truthers believe in i guess they would be kenspiracy theorists that's right they give you the answers and you still blew it the puzzler listen on the eye Art Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now.

Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome. This is I do part two, an innovative, one-of-a-kind experiment in podcasting and love. we are going to rip the bandaid off you guys and talk about all the things you need to know if you're jumping back into the relationship pool. I did basically a belly flop when I jumped back in. I'd been married for 17 years and I would have rather licked, I don't know, something really gross than to have to start dating again later in my life. But that's what happened and I was not prepared. So we are going to get you prepped and ready for this. Next amazing chapter in your life, we are going to get you ready to open yourself up to love again. And I am excited. I'm one of

your host, Jenny Garth. This week, we are going to talk about a very important part of a romantic relationship, sex. More specifically, sex in our second act. And if you know me, you know, I can get a little squirmie when the sex topic comes up. That's one area of my life that I like to keep private. So I'm so relieved that I'm going to be joined by two fab women. You know them from The Golden Bachelor and their podcast Bachelor Happy Hour, Golden Hour. Please welcome Susan Knowles and Kathy Swartz to the podcast. Hi.

Ladies. Hi. Oh my gosh. You're beautiful and you're beautiful. That was a great entry. And I am not squeamish at all. Okay, good, good. It's a natural bodily function.

Well, let's just jump right in. I want to talk to you ladies about what Goldie Hawn recently said. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have been together for 40 years. And she recently said that the secret to a long-lasting relationship is good sex. So let's talk about that. What do you think? Do you agree when you're in your fifth? 50s and your 60s, is good sex important, or is it more about companionship?

I think that good sex is important in every marriage or every relationship, not even marriage, just every relationship. And it doesn't matter if you're 20 or 70. And I think it looks a little bit different. You know, women after they go through menopause, you know, get as dry as the Saharan Desert and that you've got to deal with that. Okay, we're ripping it off, guys. I told you, nothing's off the top again. Unless, of course, you get bioidentical hormones and I'm as wet as a teenager. So I do not. Between the two of us, we're normal.

Oh, my goodness. I feel like it's very important, at least intimacy. Yeah. Because some men at a certain age cannot perform one way. There's always oral, you know, which you should be very comfortable with. But intimacy is very important, whether there's sexual act itself is done or not just making it out or touching, right? Yeah, and I also remember after I went through menopause, I remember that having sex, it was freeing in a way because, you know, you didn't have to worry about getting pregnant. I remember that distinctly kind of, this is great.

I think frequency changes. Not that I didn't use birth control. I'm just saying the worry of, oh, God, did I take my pill or is my IUD going to fall out? I mean, you think you don't worry about it anymore. But I think that maybe frequency changes. How often do you think in a healthy relationship should somebody be having sex? What time is it? You don't have kids in the house anymore.

Like, you have a lot more free time. So, yeah, a lot more than when I was married raising kids. Yeah. So two times a week, three times a week, four times. I need numbers. on the week and your life schedule. I think it depends on the guy, too. Yeah, it does.

My personal experience has been that, so my husband, you know, passed away and my sexual relationships since then have not been as good as it was with my husband. She had a good one, in other words. I had a, I had sex with. But the men that I have had sex with, all of them are on that blue pill. One of them had an internal battery pack. I mean, yeah. We're going to get to that.

I need to know more about this. Educate us, Catherine. I want to know. Can you recharge the battery? How do you guys even meet your guys? Like, how do you meet guys these days? That's the hard part. Is it?

Well, do I bring that up? I mean, I'm dialess, okay? I don't know why. We both agree. Dating apps for us, they have not worked. they have not worked and in my case um we've talked about this too we're we're we're I'm very active I do lots of things um you know bicycle and play golf and walk and snow ski and we're open and we're open to dating younger men but it's hard at our age because they want somebody younger they want

somebody younger yeah the men your age want younger now yeah they're fools oh however we have a little story. This just happened last night the night before. And I can verify this is all true what she's about to say. Okay, okay. Lay it on me. So Kathy keeps an eye on my spending, if you will, because I could go crazy. And we were in a shopping plaza and I saw a pretty cool store, not something you see all the time. Of course, I fall in love with an outfit. I'm in the dressing room and the gentleman comes back in to see if I need anything. And it was expensive. And I said to him, do me a favor. Take my charge, go ring this up.

Because she didn't want to hear me. I don't want to have got you to know I'm buying. She doesn't want me to bitch and moan about the money she's spending because, you know, Susan's always saying, stop me from shopping until she shops and then it's let me shop. So go ahead. So long story short, he had all my information. I come out and she catches the send me out. It was funny.

Two hours, three hours later, we went to dinner or in the back of an Uber on our way back to the hotel. And I get a text message. Susan, if you'd like to have some fun before you leave on Friday, I would be happy to be your boy toy. And he was like 28 years old. I was like, oh my God, Kathy, for he said, we were down. Then the guy in the Uber, I said, how old are you? He goes 20 and I said, great, we've got a boy toy for each one of us now. Oh, my God.

This is so fascinating. Okay, so. I did not respond to say that. I did not respond. Well, you know what? I expected you to respond, actually. I know, right? I'm a little disappointed in you.

No, no. Okay, so you meet a guy. How long do you wait to have sex? Like, later in life? Because I'm like, okay, time is thicken and I don't have a lot of time to waste here. So it used to be a rule, right? You have to wait, I don't know, six dates or three months or whatever. I don't know if that was a Catholic thing, a Jewish thing.

What is that? I don't know. I think it's what we teach our daughters. Yeah, really. Oh, it's my daughter going to hear this? Oops. I don't on the first thing. No.

You know, I've had sex with a guy that I didn't know that well. Interestingly, the guy that I was most interested in since my husband passed away, I didn't have sex with him because I'm, it's not that I'm old-fashioned. It's that I felt like if I had sex with him, it was going to mean something to me that we were going down that. we were going down that road. And I think he was just, he kept saying to me, you know, sex is just an experience. It's a getting to know you. And I thought, no. Yeah, it's different.

It means different things for different people. Yeah. So I didn't. Yeah. Do you think that once you give it up, that you lose control, that's been said? Yeah. Once you give it up, then. You're invested emotionally.

That's for me. That's for me. Yes. Yeah, that's, I think, the big difference between women and men, generally speaking. I don't think of sex as going out and playing around to golf. Like, it's not, it's an experience, but it's, you know, it's not like grocery shopping either. Like, to me, it means something. So, sure.

Yeah. Right. I think to a lot of people, it does, chemistry is super important, like that energy that you just almost can't even describe. Have you ever had to end a relationship because there wasn't chemistry in the bedroom? Yep. Really? Yeah. Susan always has chemistry in the bedroom.

Look at her. I mean, we could have just stopped at Susan has chemistry. I don't get to the bedroom if there's no chemistry between us. Yeah, I didn't end it because there was no chemistry in the bedroom. I ended it because the lack of chemistry in the bedroom added was just another thing on the list. It was like the cherry on top. Exactly.

You know what? I will share when they don't kiss well or make out well, that is part. of sex. That's so important. Yeah. It's part of the interesting. I've had a partner that doesn't do that part. Like everything else was great and I'm like, you know, I'm missing that. You need it. It's good to know. I mean, at our age, we know what we want, what we want, what we want, and what we don't want and what we don't. And that's scary. Jenny, I will say to you, I think that's another difference of women being older or maybe it's just Susan and I are outspoken. But I have no problem telling a guy what I want and what works for me.

And I think what younger women sometimes are afraid to do that. Yeah, they want to please, please. They want to please. And now I make men feel uncomfortable because I tell them what I do. I have toys. I have my own. I gave one Kathy for her birthday. It's called the womanizer.

You don't need a man. However, I need that physical touch. I miss that making out. But as far as pleasing myself or having an orgasm, if you will, that's done on a regular. The closest I have come to an orgasm recently is using gnar's blush and the name of it is called orgasm. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD, Oh, my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now.

My name is Ed. Everyone say hello, Ed. Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke,

but that really was my... my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. The 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage.

Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A foot washed up a shoe with some bones in it. They had no idea who it was. Most everything was burned up pretty good from the fire that not a whole lot was salvageable. These are the coldest of cold cases. But everything is about to change. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime.

A small lab in Texas is cracking the code on DNA. Using new scientific tools, they're finding clues in evidence so tiny you might just miss it. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, got you. On America's crime lab, we'll learn about victims and survivors. And you'll meet the team behind the scenes at Othrum, the Houston Lab that takes on the most hopeless cases to finally solve the unsolvable. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Do you think you can teach someone to be a better lover? You can direct and you can speak. and tell them what it is you like. Either they know where that area is or they don't. I don't think all men necessarily are invested in learning how to please a woman. I think some are and some aren't. I wouldn't know that until you got into bed, Susan. You mentioned before the little blue pill.

Yeah. Okay, so I've never messed around with a little blue pill. My husband is nine years younger than me, so we need, like, like the opposite, like NAPAgra. I want, instead of Viagra, I want NAPAgra. Viagra is incredibly common with men of a certain age. I never had sex with that. Yeah, I really, since my husband who didn't need Viagra.

That's what happens as you ate, though. They have problems. They have problems, but so, unless you're like Susan, you know, who's got a pellet in her ass that keeps her, you know, sliding down the mountain. it's just how sex changes. You have to be comfortable using whatever it takes, right? For both parties. Both parties.

That's what I'm saying. It's just that looks differently. Have you ever gotten with a guy and maybe you didn't discuss it first and then realized, oh, he's on it and this is going to be a problem tonight? He's on it, meaning he's on it. He's taken. He's going to stay hard for people. And yeah, you're like, dude, you better come because I'm not going to last in four hours.

Can I just tell you? I think that's a, maybe it's happening you. It's a myth that it lasts four hours. Yeah, I don't know. How long does it last? They say, no, the commercial says if in four hours it don't go down, go to the hospital. Yeah, rush to the emergency road. Oh, my God.

Would you love that? Rush and a minute, excuse me, excuse me, we have a critical issue here. I think they would know right away what the issue is. It's a blue pill issue, help. Oh, my God. They should make a blue pill for women. They do. I will say you.

They do. But, Jenny, I'm telling you, I have a lot of friends who are younger than I am in their 40s and 50s. And many of them tell me their sex drive is gone and they don't want sex. Menopausal women. Yeah, menopausal women. I think that's a big issue too. Not for me. but well doctor explained to me one time he gave me percentages and i could be off but he said

80 some percent of women going through menopause lose their libido yeah and then a very small percentage stay the same and then an even smaller percentage of women their libido increases and i was like a dog in heat in menopause yeah before that as in my married life i was just normal. I didn't know I could feel certain ways until way later in life. Like how old were you when this happened? In my 50s? In your 50s. I was 50 exactly. And I'm like Susan, it didn't change. I mean, my sex drive was as always healthy and still is. I think you guys are lucky. You're a lot of I'm telling you. And I've talked to men and some of my friends who are now divorced and they said that was one of the big things that contributed to their divorce. They didn't want sex and

their husband did. And they were like, move on. Like, I can't, I, you know. We've all been that person, though, at night to keep your husband happy. You just go through the motions and hurry up. Yeah. Now at this stage of the game, I enjoy every minute of it. Live it up. Because it's more about me than about satisfying them now. Right. Well, that's what happens. You've, you've decided to choose yourself, which I love so much about you. So is it weird to discuss sexual history with a partner at this age? I do ask the question. I mean, I haven't in a few years because I haven't had a date, but I would ask the question,

number one, have you been tested? I mean, are you healthy? I don't ask for proof on the papers, but I do have the conversation. I don't want to get dead. You don't want to get STD any kind of, no. You've got to make sure they're clean. And where I'm coming from the sexual experiences I've had, it's usually like one guy I dated

he and his wife had that sex in 10 years like he was like he was reentering the whole world of intimacy which I found incredibly bizarre but you know it is something to consider I know women that have gone years and have no desire

which is okay if that's okay with them it's only okay in my mind if both parties agreed I think that really you know they talk about what hurts marriages I mean obviously finances, disagreement about finances, raising children. But I think people underplay how important sex is in a marriage and can break up a marriage. I have dear friends that you know, actually, Kathy,

that do not have sex. He struggles and she doesn't care. So their marriage is perfect. They have a great time, but they just don't. Why aren't we dating? We are sexual beings. I don't know. Do you think it's because we're too loud or up front or? Too strong. Maybe, yeah. I mean, guys are intimidated by that. Yeah. But come. We'd like to.

Oh, sorry. That is the plan. You're funny. You're funny. Okay, wait, I have a question. Yes. As women of your age, my age, do you still get hung up on body image? Like, you know, when it's time to get naked, do you get insecure or nervous about the way you love?

We have different answers. So, little known fact, but becoming more. more well known back in another lifetime i have body image problems because i used to weigh 200 pounds so for me i still look in the mirror and see you know a fat person and so and my skin is you know because i was heavy my skin is not as tight even though i work out i you push up isn't it's as tight as our age i know but for me it's it's exacerbated by the fact that i weighed so much so for me, in the beginning, it's a little struggle, and then I get over it. But for me, it's a little struggle in the beginning.

I'm going to guess that you don't have body image issues when it's time to get naked. I feel a little self-conscious for about 30 seconds. Yeah. Do you like to dim the lights? No. I used to. I used to be a dark girl, yes, because I didn't want them to see anything. And now it's like, it is what it is.

I wouldn't sleep with somebody that I wasn't comfortable with. do you know what I mean? I would know this person prior to getting into bed with him. So I was quite surprised the last time that, you know, I'm sorry. It's not what it used to be. Things are in this firm. And he was like, oh, my God. The way you dress, you look so much bigger.

You have an amazing body. And I was like, really? That's good to hear. That makes you feel good. I think men struggle with that a little bit too. So it's kind of a two-way street there. Right. You're in your head about it and they're in their head about it for themselves.

And I think like most things, if you just communicate that fact, that, hey, you know, I'm a little self-conscious. At my age, I can say that. But when I was younger, I would have, please don't look. Yeah. I would have the sheet pulled up really quickly. Now it's like, like, I'm like Susan, it's a little uncomfortable at the beginning and I'm like, what the hell. I've grown into my own skin, though. I don't care anymore.

And I know men appreciate a woman's body. And at 67, it's not perfect. Right. You know what I mean? But they still appreciate it. But the point is they're not perfect. Yeah, right? Yeah, no.

Well, the problem is they're looking for younger perfect girls. So that you and Kathy both say that a lot. I want to know, Jenny, how you got a guy nine years younger. Yeah, what did we do? That's what I want. That's what I want. I want, but, you know, you're... You want younger.

I was going to ask you, like, do what, how do you feel about dating younger men? Is there a range and like an age range you stick to? I would date someone 10 years. I just, yeah, I probably, depending on the mango 10, but my thing is like when we come from similar errors, we like the same music and we like that. It's things in life. Relatibility there. Also, also, you know, I want a guy who's retired because I want to travel. I want to do things. I don't want to, you know, have the cocktail waiting and, you know, his slip. Nine to five and, yeah, I mean, no. Cook, she don't, you don't cook. But I'm great in bed.

so it eases out. There's definitely a difference because if you're dating a younger guy, they're innately in a different place in their life developmentally. So you have to know what you're getting into. I don't think that's necessarily true. I realize that I'm different in that. I'm really fit. When we're on the Golden Batchelor, you know, I won the pickleball contest.

I'm in swimming races. I am very sick. She's fit. I work out in the gym. She's strong. I hype. Good for you. I'm just saying I'm kind of an outlier in that way. You don't want to be used to die.

I don't want to use to die. That's my thing. I've said it's just the show. I don't want a guy who says, you know, I used to play tennis. I used to kayak. I used to swim. And now I sit on the sofa. I don't want a used to guy.

I like that. Yeah. So it's hard. It's hard to find those guys that will not look at my age number. No. They'll just say, you know what? She looks like she might be interesting. I'm going to give her a shot.

That's what I'm. looking for that guy. My son, Susan actually, performed the marriage. My son was divorced and met and Susan married them in March. She's 10 years older than my son and they are great together. Great marriage. That's so good to hear. Yeah. I mean, personally speaking, it's had its challenges and luckily my nine-year younger husband acts like he's 80. So, and I have a thing for older men. Like, I love older men, but I'm with a younger man. But it works out because he acts like an old man. How did you meet him?

That was a setup, like a blind date. As blinded as you can get in this day and age. I looked him up, but I think I found the wrong guy because the guy I looked up was a chippendales dancer. Long story. Anyways, it was a set up. I'll send you the chippendales guy. Talk about bodies.

Yeah, right. Yeah, that's what we need as a chippendale dancer. I don't know what I do with that. Like, oh, can I touch it? Oh, I know, right? But I do think that, you know, just getting back to our original conversation, unless you want to set us up, and then we can just, you know, go from there.

But I really do think that I'm surprised at the number of women who literally will say to me, I've had my children, I don't care about sex. And I always feel like a freak because I really enjoy sex. And a lot of women just don't. so I don't know I I don't get it that's the thing to each their own

whatever works for you but it's good that if you're with somebody that you're on the same page that's really so it's not just the idea of sex like men can go out and have one night's dance just the sex thing is good I like the romance the intimacy and that's what I was saying earlier

like for me if I'm going to bed with a man I feel something it's not it's like I said it's not an activity, you know. Like the French and the Italians, it's just sex. It's just a sex. I like, I call it pillow talk. I like pillow talk.

Yes. I want to get deeper. He's a romantic, right? Yeah, I love it. Okay, so do you guys sexed, is sexting a thing? Have I ever? I don't sex Kathy. Oh, no, like, thank God.

Are guys in their 50s and 60s? sexting still. Yeah. And now, you know, with video, I mean, there's all kinds of stuff that goes on. I will personally say, I do not send pictures because I know those could end up anywhere. Oh, definitely. You might see my boobs out there somewhere. I'm going to look for, I'm going to Google it.

Susan's boobs are everywhere. Let's be honest. Oh, that's funny. I mean, yeah, I'm not that comfortable. with sexting or anything in writing like that can come back to haunt you talking dirty do you like to talk dirty so when I was younger I was very intimidated by that very well when I when we were younger we didn't talk there wasn't texting I mean just talking you know it was like you picked a phone you know it had a rotary dial you remember and then when things get in my head then I start

overthinking things and then I'm doing it I don't think sexiness is big, though, at least for me, it's not as a big a thing. I want it in person. You know, I want the touch. The connection. I feel like the phone is a cop out. Well, if I want to get somebody's attention that I haven't seen, like I went in a relationship and I haven't seen, I'll send a little sexy shot or something, nothing that I'd be mortified about to get them go.

And then they're like, Jesus. It's like a toy. They're like, Susan's got a guy that we can't talk about it yet, but a guy that she's sort of maybe chit and chatting with and I saw her video with him this morning. Wait, wait, wait. Is this the guy from Marshalls?

No, he's gone. Okay. Well, he's still my friend. Okay, good. That's all he wants his friendship. And I'll see him again. I'm sure I will. Nothing there.

Meanwhile, I've been hanging out at Neiman Marcus, hoping the same thing happens to me. You're stepping it up. You're going to Neiman. and Marcus. That's right. Now, this is a face that's been on television and the world seemed to think that we were a lot alike and that we should meet. And I've been watching, because, you know, Susan and I are out here in L.A. And so they've talked a few times and videoed a couple times. In fact, he, a FaceTimed her this morning. And because that's who I am, I picked up the phone

and answered her phone and said, oh, hello. I didn't know you were so interested. And his face was like, oh, you're like, where am I dial? That's great. But you were very flirty with him. I can see where this is the beginning of a chemistry. Ooh, exciting. Yeah. And you think I was flirty?

Are you kidding me? What did I do? Because I had to put nipples shields on. I didn't do it in front of them. But she's talking about how. But I knew I was going to see you. And I have. She was talking about her nipples arriving and where nipples should.

He said, I'm like, oh, I love nip. And I'm sitting. boy. I'm very comfortable. That is very flirty. You're right. Very flirty. But can you believe she just said to me, Jenny, are my flirting? I don't think that's flirty. Talking about your nipples. No, it was something I had to do. Excuse me, I got to get off the screen. I got to put my nipple shield on. That was not that. Yeah, that's not that sexy. Sorry. Flirtas would have been, do you like this? I want to talk about something that's a, you know, just a little bit more deep. You mean Susan's nipples aren't deep enough for you? No, I'm enjoying that conversation.

greatly, but I want to talk about like when you're looking for love again, our minds kind of automatically go to, oh, they had a divorce. But for so many out there, looking for love again is because of a loss. Does having a sexual relationship become more complicated if your partner has lost a spouse or if you have lost a spouse? Depending on the time, she could answer that better than me because I didn't. But I wouldn't want somebody freshly out of losing his spouse, his wife. Because I'm not going to replace anybody. I couldn't be who he was with.

So I would just hope that there was some time in between and he was open and ready. Like when you watch Joan, the other night, last week when she said, I don't know if I'm ready. And when she accepted the fact that she's not going to replace her husband, she'll always have the memory of him.

Yeah, but that's more, I mean, that's... Just be open to love. All that's true. I think for me, my husband died, it's five and a half years ago. And I think I thought I was ready earlier for sex and an intimate relationship before I really was ready. I mean, I can honestly say now, I will never, my husband will, I always will carry him in my heart. And just like having children, my heart is expanded to be open to a new relationship. And sexually, I've never compared, I just never compared emotionally, intellectually, anything.

I've never compared because everyone's different. I think it would have been a lot harder if I'd been in serious relationships too soon. You have to have that time to hear. You have to have that time, you know, to get through grief, you have to walk through it. and to get to a place where you're ready for an intimate relationship, it takes a lot of work and time. I was never divorced. Susan's divorced.

I think it looks a little different to someone who has lost a partner. That was happily in love. That was happily. I mean, all marriages have issues where you, you know, your ex-husband's alive and she was ready to move on. Mine was abruptly taken from me. So I think it depends on the situation. Yeah. Well, I'm very sorry for your loss.

Thank you. That's so hard. And I know so many women out there listening are faced with that. And it's so complicated and layered the emotions around it. It is. But I just, I wish women would understand that you have to give yourself grace and time. And, you know, my husband died by suicide. So I had a lot of, you know, guilt and fear, all kinds of things.

And life is not over. That's the message I always, your intimate relationships, you can have another one. It's not defaming your relationship you had. It's not saying, I forget that. It's just, it's the one life we have. Other people, some women feel like they're not even worthy. Yeah, they don't feel worthy and they feel like their life is over. And that's the message that life is not over.

your sex life you know you are in control you can get up off the sofa and build yourself a new life and I have a suggestion for this ladies tell womanizer oh and you do it in house and you feel so much better well I feel 100,000 percent better after I have an orgasm it's a healthy thing for me my okay right my attitude changes I can roll with it is a chemical difference yeah it's so Yes, it is. So women that are stuck home and feeling so low, try it. See what happens. You'll make yourself happy.

Choose yourself. And then you might be more open to finding somebody, you know? Right. Yeah. It ignites something. I also think women feel guilty. We've talked about this. I think women at any age sometimes feel guilty for wanting to feel sexually satisfied.

Like, you know, it's that Victorian thing where you're not supposed, not you. No. But I do think some women, don't you think some women feel that way? I hope not. I hope not. That's not healthy. I didn't say it was healthy. You really feel like they feel like they don't deserve?

Not me. I think there are women, I think, at every age who believe sex is something to produce children. Is that Victorian thing? If you don't have sex for enjoyment, you have sex because you're going to procreate. I think there's still women. There's all the Italian Catholics might still feel like that. Yeah. I feel like that women have always just worried about pleasing, pleasing, pleasing,

especially in bed. Until you're 50. Until you're 50. And then you're like, fuck it. Yeah. You know what? I might have said fucking a little before 50, but does your husband please you first? Yes.

There's the importance right there. Men that want to go in and go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what do we do? What are we doing? My and bad, thank you, ma'am, though. What we're going to do? this. We're going to have fun. We're going to enjoy it to explore each other. I'm not into a way. Yeah, I know. I'd like give a bus to catch. Sometimes, not ever, don't you ever just want a quick little thing and then be done with it, right? Oh, yeah, that's when I was married,

but I don't have a boyfriend now, so I don't get to do any of the above. You want to enjoy the whole thing. When we do it, it's going to take hours. And I'm really going to milk it. Having sex, what is that? I want roses and champagne, a nice room. Oh, let's do it for hours and pray. It's just pouring raining outside. So nobody wants to go anywhere. That's the best when it's raining outside.

You know, the room with a fire rain. The AC turned up. Yeah, music, champagne. Not so much the lifeguard stand or anything, you know. Wait, what? Remember those things? Oh, you mean the back of the car? Back in the day.

Wait, you did it in a lifeguard stand? stand? No, I tried. I couldn't do it. What do you mean you couldn't do it? I mean, I stood there while they did it, but I didn't want to do anything. Okay. Was it because it was a life first year? Was it in the daytime or the nighttime? Nighttime. It's just making sure. Because I'm so outspoken and comfortable with a conversation of it, people assume a lot of things about me that are mostly not true, but that's a guy if you want to think it. I'd come across like I was easy and had multiple millions of partners and I have not. But I'm not here to explain that to anybody. I don't care what they think anymore. But like people think I have tattoos all the

time. Oh, you must have a lot of tattoos? Everybody. Why would they? They assume people assume because I'm loud and I'm vocal. I'm super quiet and I have tattoos. So you don't have any and you're loud. I've never heard tattoos going with being laughed. I've never heard that. It's just a personality thing because I don't want to say the word obnoxious, but I'm fine. If that's what it is, you're outspoken, yeah, you're fun. That's what it takes for tattoos covered.

I rode a motorcycle. I did too. Right away, they thought, oh, you're tired. I'm pierced, but I'm not tired of it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're pierced? Yeah, it's like, in your ears? Yes.

Oh, you're not, you're not pierced any place. Not anymore. Oh, you've paired. You had to take it out. I didn't. I made the doctor do it. Wait, where was the piercing, please? Oh, in my hood.

Okay, in your vaginal area. Right. Okay. I've never explored that. Yes, I did that for my 50th birthday. Why did you do that? Because it was something that I thought was cool. and I didn't want a tattoo.

You know why she did it when she could meet a guy. It was called a great conversation starter. Oh, yeah. Well, did it hurt and how was, no, and then. No, it was very professionally done. Did it get in the way of things? Never, never. Actually, I thought it would do more than it did.

You thought it would help you? Yeah, I thought it would stimulate either him or I or something. It was a novel. too. Like it was. You know what it was? It was an erring that lost its partner. Lost its way. I feel like though at 70, I'm going to do it again. Okay. Yeah, or 69. Okay. It's 69. I like that better. Yeah. You're probably going to have to go with her, Kathy and make sure it's done right. You have no. I would love for a partner to go with me, like in a relationship and he'd think it was cool and hold my hand and go in and do it together. Like that would thrill me. you are wild i've had i in the 90s i had my belly button pierced that's it that's about it

i thought i was so cool hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD. Oh my god, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom's the podcast for you. Open your free I-HeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're level

up. Each episode will feature a special bestie and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is The diva of the people. The diva of the people. I'm just like text your ex.

My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. We're in the head. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbrates, men, and of course, our favorite secrets.

Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs.

Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him. him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Can we just talk about the Golden Bachelor at? What do you, who do you think of the most?

My God, I love the men. They're all so warm. and they shared their emotions. How about it? How many times do you cry during one of the? I can't stop crying. Well, I got choked up when their kids came on. That was, yeah.

I think what I thought about our season, I think that these men are showing like we showed on our show, that they're mature, they have feelings, they know how to have fun, their lives aren't over, they're ready to be vulnerable, they're grateful for their life, experiences and I love that one of the hardest parts for me and I want to date with one of them

yeah I'm watching them at the rose ceremony and that hope in their eyes I remember what that felt like yes like oh god it's my turn they're home or is he going to call my name or but don't you love that the hope you can feel we've talked about this maybe it's because we were on the show right we know what they're feeling and they're all they're hoping for a second chance at love. They believe in the process. They get disappointed and it's crushing. It's so crushing. And you know what? One 800 call Kathy and Susan. Right. Okay. Just putting that out there. I may not be speaking to someone on that show. She may or may

not be speaking to someone to Kathy nodding who was on that show. Who is it? Is it Charles? No. Oh, God bless Charles. I love Charles. The world loves him. I know. How do you think Joan is handling all the these men. And who do you think she has the most chemistry with? Well, from the day one, we had a couple people in mind. We had four. We had a different four. But Guy, we thought she was attracted to Josh and Jordan. Wait, wait. In this week's episode, Chalk did some shocking things. He went home because his mother passed away. But then he came back. That's just it. That's it. He came

back you know why because he's falling in love and i think she has a sparkle in her eye for him with that first day we know her we know jones so when she was on the disney day yes you could see a sparkle in her eye i mean like i said from the beginning my money's on chalk that's like i thought it from the first time i saw them together well thank god he came back then and it's funny because that's what happened on our show trust me we've tried to find out joan won't tell us we've tried to find out Joan won't tell us. On our show, it was that first important date that he ended up with, whether it was a great decision or not.

But that's, Teresa was the first date that they bonded over similar things. And I just saw the same thing with Chuck and June. Interesting. But it was also the look. I mean, we know her. I'm not sure people out in Bachelor Nation, but we know her. We're friends with her. And there's a look in her eye, the smile.

We were watching together, and we both looked at each other and went, that's looking pretty promising. So we know who's left over. Yeah, so we know. And then there's, I think, Guy, I think she's interested in Guy. He's the ER doctor. I mean, she's getting down to it now because she's sending lots of people home. And that's hard.

It's tough. Yeah, it's so hard. I have to ask you this, though. In your season, would you have slept with Gary? I love the way she says. I know, no. Emphatic no across the board. That's what I thought.

For me, no. But you know what? I, both Susan and I are the same on this. We were in the friends of him real quickly with Gary. And he's a nice guy. I love him. But I would not, I would not want to send the message to the world that, you know, I've been on this guy for three weeks and talk to him, you know,

accumulation of what, an hour and a half if I had a one on. one and now I'm going to bed down. That's the only problem that I have with the show is they don't get enough time to get to know each other. I wish. I think Joan's getting more time. Well, yes, she has a two-hour show, but I really wish that they would maybe lessen the amount of people and let an actual, you know, relationships start with several people

to make that decision. And, you know, we've talked to Gary. We've talked to Gary and he said to me, I wish I'd gotten to know you better, Kathy. I just didn't know who you were. And that's true. You get caught up in a moment. We got caught in a moment.

We hardly talked. I mean... Although I'm grateful there is a show. Oh, yeah. But now rumor has some, I don't know, paradise thing for seniors. Susan's going to be exhibiting all her tattoos. I am so ready for that. I'm going to be wearing...

However, they can't do it the same. Number one, I'm not going with bugs and... And I'm not wearing a bikini. Not happening. ago. No, but paradise to us is different. Way different. Right.

Yes. It's like my idea, camping is no phone in the room. But you know what? I got to say, I could fall in love. We're both similar that. We fall, you know, fall fast and fall hard. If I found something I was interested in, I could see me falling in love. Well, but I was head over heels over Gary. I would have been a whole different character on that show.

I would have, too. But, you know, it's totally me, and you can't hide from being yourself. Neither one of us wanted to go pick corn and, you know, in the run through corn mazes in Indiana. Like, it wasn't an exciting, but he's a nice guy. Do you think that in the Fantasy Suite episode, I just, I, what happens in there when the cameras are off? Something that needs to happen, happens. You are not being filmed. You are not being recorded.

You speak from the soul. the majority of the world thinks you're getting late and maybe some people do. That's not what it's about. I don't know because we were not in the fantasy suites with each other or in the world. But I think they have the conversations about,

you know, finances and life and children. And does it work? Yeah, it doesn't. But I don't think they all have to. Do you take the blue pill or is this a natural thing? You know what? That would not be the conversation. I'd be having the fantasy suite.

But I think that those are important conversations to have because it's such a truncated section of your life. It's fast. It's furious. But you need those. Yeah. I know Joe made a statement prior to the show that she was not going to sleep over. Well, you know what?

People get laid in two hours and you can still leave the room at 2 a.m. So don't think that's what's going to convince the world. Oh, my God. I'm serious. Well, she's going into it trying to be. respectable, but she wants to put out the right message. You guys are so amazing. I love that you're just like open books and talking to women of a certain age about all this because nobody's talking about it and we should all be just talking about it openly and sharing our

experiences. Even women at a younger age can get things from us. Absolutely. Yeah, we started this whole thing. I said it's a normal bodily function. It's like sex should be part of everyone's life. It's part of life and a good sex life. But if you have daughters, you don't want to experience it until way later. Well, until they're emotionally ready. But, you know, I think we're old enough. I think we passed that boy cat. We are not dead yet. You are in your prime. This is it.

Late rumor. You're both so amazing. It's okay to want different things in your relationships as you grow and change, you know. just identifying those things and knowing what's important to you and finding a person that matches up. And possibly a lot of your listeners and a lot of people judge both of us. But I know I've been judged for, oh, well, I'm not like you, Susan. I'm not outgoing and I'm not this and I'm not that. But you have feelings inside.

You have thoughts. And when you become of a certain age, you're less intimidated, maybe. by what others are thinking you're comfortable in your own skin yeah but i think also she's absolutely right i couldn't agree with you more that's nice when we agree by the way it's scary when we are right but here's the thing i think i would want your listeners to know that life doesn't begin and end with sex yeah and so people who are sitting at home saying i'm afraid to date i don't know what to do i think my body's good enough i all those things that we do to ourselves i think that we do to ourselves I think it's a progression.

And so try the womanizer first. Get out there and live your life and build relationships, then use the womanizer, then go back out. In other words, sex, good, healthy sex life intimacy doesn't just happen, right? You have to get out and do things. And I think sometimes women are intimidated by putting themselves out there. So don't be intimidated. And the only other thing I could hopefully say,

suggest is be comfortable in your own skin, be okay with your body, no matter what it looks like, because none of us look great after a certain age. Except who you are. Except who you are. And love who you are. Yes. That's my whole thing. I just want everybody who's listening to remember if you take nothing away from this conversation, take away the fact that the second time around at love starts with loving yourself. Amen. If you don't love yourself, you can't possibly love someone else. You have to love yourself to be open to letting someone love you and loving them back. Words of wisdom. I love you guys. If you are single and ready to find love again or you want to ask me questions about love and dating and relationships, then call us at 1-8444-4-4-4-4-6-3. Or you can email us.

Radio.com and be sure to follow us on Instagram. I do part two, pod. That's the number two. I do part two. I do part two. An I heart radio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. Hi, my name is Enya Jumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called, emergency intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect.

And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is, Ken Jennings' appearance, on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs.

The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. They gave you the answers, and you still blew it. The Puzzler. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different.

What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.

Thank you.