The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Kelly Bensimon Wants To Help You Get A Date

Episode Date: November 7, 2024

Kelly’s ready to date again. Don’t make the same mistakes she made.Is she manifesting her own I Do Part 2? Ready to find love again? Want dating advice?Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763) Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime Podcasts and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In sitcoms, when someone has a problem, they just blurt it out and move on. Well, I lost my job and my parakeet is missing. How is your day?

But the real world is different. Managing life's challenges can be overwhelming. So, what do we do? We get support. The Huntsman Mental Health Institute and the Ad Council have mental health resources is available for you at loveyourmindtay.org. That's loveyourmindtay.org. See how much further you can go

when you take care of your mental health. I was diagnosed with cancer on Friday and cancer free the next Friday. No chemo, no radiation, none of that. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business,

and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. Professionally, I started at Death World Records. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I do part two is a one-of-a-kind experience in podcasting and love. if you didn't get love right the first time, our hosts and celebrity mentors are here to help you get it right the next time.

I'm one of your celebrity mentors, Kelly Ben-Simon. You may know me from the Real Housewives of New York and the Ultimate Girls trip. I have been having so much fun doing this podcast with all the incredible people on this show. It's almost like this podcast is therapy for me. So today I just want to kind of talk about what's been on my heart, my heart and on my mind. I may get a little emotional. what I want you listeners to know is that you're not alone. Heartbreak sucks and I'm literally going through it just like you. So let's get started. We're going to go from heartbreak to manifesting love and I'm so

excited to do this with you guys. You know, I just want you guys to know like really where I've come from and who I am. So I got married at a very young age and I was married for 10 years to a that's older and French. I have two beautiful girls who I love so much. But it was a really difficult, difficult marriage because it was more about me being his wife and doing things for him than us being partners. And I didn't really know, like, what a partner meant or felt like when I was in my early 20s. And, you know, you have to also remember, like, I started modeling when I was 15. And so the men that I was meeting were guys from college. And they were all at a totally different pace in life than I was. And so when I met my ex-husband, you know, he was older. He was

savvy. He was sophisticated. But it was all about him. And it was really, really difficult to be in a one-sided relationship. And I, you know, had my first daughter who I love so much. And by the way, I didn't even know I could have kids. I went to this, to a woman and she said, you're never going to have children. And so I never even thought that like kids were on my radar. And I had my first child. And the minute I had my first child, what was bad before was even worse because it was just me and my daughter alone in New York while he was, you know, off doing his doing what he was supposed to be doing, which was great for him. But it was really, really bad for me.

And then I had my beautiful second child. who I love so much. And after I had her, I was like, I'm done. I can't do this anymore. But it's not like, oh, I'm done and finished. You know, I'm so empowered. I'm so great. It's like, this is 2007.

There's no dating apps. There's no nothing. I was on my own. I was providing for my kids. I was writing at the time. I was working at all accessories. You know, I was wearing multiple hats at that time and raising two young girls. And so for me to leave a relationship.

whether it was a healthy one or not healthy it was still something that kept me safe um but i just needed to move on and i just wanted to do something that was right for my girls and that would make help my girls be the best version of themselves and that wasn't a sexy decision at the time you know people were like oh my god why would you like why would you like ruin something you know he you know you have a house and you have kids and you have a car and you have you know you're working and you're all these things, but it wasn't about all of those things. I mean, there were a lot of indiscretions that were happening and there was a lot of time when I was so alone. And when you're alone a lot as a married person or just in general, I mean, you start to like really believe the stupid things

that go through your head. And I was very, very insecure. I couldn't drive a car. I couldn't be alone. I had to have like my, you know, people around me all the time. I didn't want to, whole my oldest daughter. So I had severe postpartum with my oldest. And I, I think it really translated to my second. So I was going through a lot of things emotionally. But the good news is that I was able to move forward and make that decision. I felt really, really good about the decision. But then when I was out in the wild, I was like, what is going on? I'm, you know, 37 years old. Who are these people? My dad's like, what are you doing? You're like 37. Like, well, who's going to want like, you know, a woman with, you know, 37 years old with two kids. And people were

like, oh, if you don't find someone tomorrow, you know, you're not be able to have any children and you're going to kind of be like used goods. And again, there were no apps. There was no opportunity. And your, my friends weren't exactly like, oh my God, let me set you up with, you know, someone that would be great for you. People, I think really liked watching me feel really miserable and be really, really alone. I know that you guys, some of you guys have seen my psoriasis. It was so bad, so bad that it literally like wrapped around my entire body like a snake. And I was on all these different steroids. My elbows were bleeding. It was just like my entire, I was breaking down physically and mentally and emotionally. And it was a very, very, very difficult

time. And I think that a lot of guys too were like, if they did want to date me, it was like, I was kind of a trophy, even though I wasn't a trophy because I was like a mess. But they thought like, oh, well, she's, she was a model. So she can, you know, we can kind of figure this out. And I was just such a mess. I'm so glad that I wasn't a trophy. But it was a really, really challenging time for me. And I just hope that nobody else has to go through something like that.

I did not feel love. I did not even know what love meant. people are like, well, were you so in love? I'm like, well, I wore the dress he wanted me to wear and I, you know, got married and built the life for him. But I, um, I didn't feel love. And I didn't even know what being in love felt like. And to be honest with you, I have never been in love. I've never felt love. I know that I know what it's supposed to feel, look like. I know what it looks like in social media with rose petals, but I personally have never been in love or felt what love really, really feels like.

I'm just getting really emotional because, like, I've never articulated that before. And, you know, I guess, you know, the past couple of months have been very difficult for me. And it's been difficult because I don't have that. outlet to go on social media and, you know, cry to people and show like how I'm feeling. I, you know, try to mask it. So because I don't want people to, you know, be afraid of, you know, running away from something they didn't want. And I think it's really difficult for me, you know, even though, you know, I was with him for 10 years, but I stayed with him because I thought it was the right thing to do. and it was so harmful to me and to like my mental health that when I was like started to even date and at you know 37 which is not young by the way um I had such like arrested development I didn't even know like who I was I would date a guy and if I didn't like it I just was like dump him I was completely unavailable um I chose men that were

wildly abusive verbally physically um i guess maybe that's also you know i when i was very very young um in like literally in you know like six years old i was abused um at my school by another classmate and i always felt so dirty about sex and um having that those kind of you know being touched like that and then later on in life when you're supposed to feel loved and everyone's like, oh, you guys are so in love and you have this perfect family and you're supposed to be doing all these things. And they weren't, there was no perfection. Perfection is just a, it's just a word people try to use so that it masks like, you know, all the imperfection. And people don't, people either they want to commiserate with you like, oh my God, yeah, that really happened to me. But they don't want to

hear your bad news. They just don't. Like they have their own bad news. Whether, you know, and I just felt very, very, very, very alone and very, very lonely. So over the years, I've had a handful of boyfriends and, I mean, you can't even call them boyfriends because, I mean, they were dating me. I definitely was not dating them. I had no interest in dating them. Zero. I was so laser focused on providing for my girls and making sure that they had what they needed.

in terms of education and in terms of upbringing that I thought was the right thing to do for them, that I was so laser focused on making money, making whatever it took for them, that if there was a guy that was a nice guy or not a guy's guy, I didn't even notice him, had no interest, would fake and tell them I love them. I didn't love them. I would, you know, pretend that we were like boyfriend and girlfriend when I could not have cared less, what they did. I would say like, oh, you have to go on a trip. Okay, great. Call me when you're done. Like, never even call them or, you know, ask how they were. It was just completely unavailable. And the irony of it, they were all thought that I was like so into them and that I was just

super hard to get to, super cold so that they couldn't, you know, get into me. But I just wasn't available at all. And I was miserable, totally, totally miserable. I would have sex. um how many whatever i wanted to why ever you know just because like not even like caring about who they were or about their feelings it's not like i was having sex with random people but i would pick guys and i would date them and knowing that they were the wrong people i mean if they had drug issues and whatever they were doing uh i didn't care because i was like i'll find something great about them so i can just you know have sex with them and they're unavailable and it's just a very dark dark dark time and um you know at the same time i'm at home crying in my closet like i want

love i want to feel love what does love feel like and so it was just like very strong juxtaposition of feelings where you're putting something out there that is so negative and you're at home desperate for something that's so positive and um it was just a very it was it was a very you know difficult time and then I was on television and I had guys that were trying they would be like oh I dated a housewife and you know sometimes I would be like okay maybe I should just date them to date them I mean dating some guy that wanted to date someone that was on a TV show like how pathetic is that and like imagine my sense of like my self-esteem was a zero. And then I was engaged to my most recent ex who really, really wanted

to marry me. And I just wasn't available for him either. You know, I was happy for him and his success, but I didn't really care about anything that happened with what he was doing or his family. I didn't want to, like, be a part of his kids. I didn't want to hear about his, you know, that part of his life. It just had zero interest. And now that I reflect back on that, I just, you know, it's not fair to be with someone who's emotionally unavailable. It's just not fair. It's just not fair. And, you know, whether he's a Superman or whether he's Clark Kent, he just wasn't my man and um i'm just i'm just excited to meet my man like what does he look like what does he smell like what does he feel like like i want i can't wait to meet someone that i just want to tell

the whole world like i've never been like i have a boyfriend and it's you know when you're like in the you know in papers and people are like are you dating and they would ask me how you dating anyone I'd be like no no I was dating all these different guys I was saying no no I'm not dating anyone lying lying like crazy didn't want anyone to know what I was doing um because I first of all I suppose none of their business but second of all I didn't want anyone to know if I was dating someone if I wasn't um not embarrassed by them but just humiliated by my own self and um you know it's ironic because I had this, you know, I was raised with a twin brother. So I had this amazing twin brother who I used to fight with, argue with, you know, we'd have so much fun with, do stupid things,

watch sports with him, do all these things. And so I know what it's like to have a, I mean, he's my brother, but I know what it's like to be around a male who's amazing and who's fun and exciting and interesting and engaging. And he has a beautiful wife and amazing. kids. So I know what that looks like. I just didn't want it for myself for some reason. I just was like, I don't deserve that. And maybe the guys that I was dating or that I was choosing just made that even more real because they didn't deserve me and I didn't even deserve them. I mean, they could have been the worst men in the planet, but they still were a lot better than how I was treating myself.

My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating.

He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness

the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories.

I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets.

Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What would you do if one day bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth. Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs

that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life. emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So when I called off my engagement four days before the wedding, there was like this, there was like a lot of mixed emotions.

Oh, she wouldn't, you know, she broke up and then because of money. It's all about money. Or she's not, you know, no, oh, he dodged a bullet because she's so crazy. Or, you know, all these awful, awful things. And when you were, you know, in the public eye, you have a responsibility and you know I wanted to say like I'm feeling like shit I'm feeling awful I'm feeling so humiliated I'm so humiliated and that I couldn't like figure out like who to be with or that I didn't say to him before this is not working this is not right I do not want this and it's not that I didn't want this because I was running away again in like the newest sneakers so I could get away as fast as possible. It's not like running away. I just, I knew for

myself that he wasn't the right person a long, long time ago. And I should have had the confidence to sit him down and say, or just the decency, to say, this is not working. And not for the reasons that you think, but because I'm not ready. I'm not ready. So again, like, you know, here's a laundry list of all these different guys. Drugs, infidelity, cheating, like, you name it, the worst of the worst, I was like, oh, I'll date him. I'll date that guy. That sounds great, making excuses. But, like, who wants someone like that? And even if on paper they looked like they were incredible. They were single for a reason and so was I because we were both like totally all these men that I was dating were just as unavailable as I was. Hiding all these issues, porn like all

this crap and it was really awful and I just when I remember what I remember a year ago and I just was like, I cannot do this anymore. There were situations that were happening with his children, and I just was like, I am not ready for any of this, and I can't do this. And instead of being an adult in the room, because you know, I was talk about being the adult in the room. I always talk about like, oh, finally there's an adult in the room. I'm up here. You're down there. You know, you know, I always know the right thing to say. I don't know the right thing to say. I just say that because that sounds good because it sounds like something

that someone like me would say that's not the right thing to say it's not you have to be honest with people and say to them first to yourself forget them like you're not you don't owe anyone anything by the way

so the first thing that you need to tell yourself is here are the non-starters here are the things you cannot put up with And that's not like, well, Kelly, when you're like dating, you're going to have to be a little more open because like everybody's got their flaws. So I've recently started dating again since I called off my wedding and not because I'm bored, but because I have been going to therapy and because I started this podcast and listening to all these different.

mentors and people talk about their different stories made me feel safe. So I was like, hey, you know what? Like someone's been married four times. People have there, you know, like I'll never forget TJ with like, there's eight divorces in this room. And I was like, what? Eight. That's just a crazy number. And I just started to feel safe about what I wanted for my own self. And so I have an amazing therapist and we've been talking through and walking through what are the things that are non-starters for me. And if I am going to go on a date, what am I going to bring to the table? Not him, but what am I going to bring to the table? First of all, I'm going to bring to the table things that I will not put up with. And those are things like no cheating, no lying, no violence, no emotional abuse, no sexual abuse. No sexuality. abuse, know any kind of anything that makes me feel bad. If you don't make me feel good about feeling good, you're out. And you can tell that about a person immediately. You don't need to talk to

them. You don't need to ask them about their last relationship. All you need to do is give them a couple of seconds to say, how are you or you just kind of talk, you know, you're just kind of how they introduce themselves and you'll know immediately if it's about them or if it's about you guys. And that was something I needed to learn. It's a we. It's not like, I'm going to lure this guy. I'm going to show him how pretty I am and funny I am and smart I am. No. You want, I need to, I need to be and I'm going to be open. I'm going to be more relaxed, maybe in my body language, Maybe the way that I dress, just everything about me is going to be different because it's on my terms now. And all those things that I said before, the cheating, the line, the vines, all of those things are just absolutely unacceptable.

And so run away from all of that, run fast. Sprint. So no more abuse of drugs or alcohol. no more anger no more fixing men no more I see the potential in him just see so much in him

if he's not there he's not ready no more dating someone that doesn't want to have a future with me no more dating someone's not not saying oh my guy I would love to do this on Halloween or making plans in the future whether it's like going to the movies

It doesn't need to be, you know, some wild thing. It needs to be something, a tomorrow thing. Oh, I would like to get a coffee with you. I'm going to meet you. Those kind of things. Not going to go on a date with someone who doesn't understand my kids because they're my number one priority and they will always be. So that's like an absolute no.

And no more self-sabotaging my relationships. So like I said, being more relaxed and when I go on a date, not being. feeling like I have to get dressed up or put on any pretences. You're around more single people and everybody starts talking about being single and what single looks like. But they don't talk about what single feels like. So there's no connectivity. There's no spending time with people.

There's no back and forth. There's no, how was your day? Like, not like how was your day. Like, how was your day? Like, how was your day? like how is that meeting that you had how did that go did we did you know what did you say in that meeting did you feel good about it you know life is about these small little moments and when you're single and by yourself it's not that sucks it's just it's just these moments that you're having

these memories by yourself and I'm not judging anyone for wanting to be by themselves or for enjoying their own personal company because I think that's amazing I personally am not that person. I don't enjoy being by myself. I don't enjoy myself. I don't enjoy being my myself. So for me being single is the worst thing. You know, I remember thinking to myself, oh my God, my kids go away. What am I going to do? Like I'd always be like, oh, I have to go home for the kids. I have to go home. My kids, my kids, my kids. I was like, what happens? I mean, fortunately for COVID, I would have been by myself four years ago, just alone by myself. And it's not like I'm just one of these kind people that's like walking down the street like winking at people hey tiger like i'm not that person

i'm so introverted and so i'm so like frightened to people and like oh my god they're probably saying something about me and i'm just so insecure that i'm so afraid that they're you know looking at me poorly or being like oh she's awful or she has big shoulders or whatever it is that they say that's mean like that goes that's what goes through my head so being alone and being single sucks because you allow your, that's your, that's your partner, is your, your mind that's like, place tricks on you. And I don't want to make those memories in my life. And I don't want to have that partner. I want to have a solid partner that we're talking about things and we're interested in things and we're making plans and we're building a family, whether that's

with his family or my family. I want to create those memories. I always talk about Creating memories. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet.

So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose? between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth. Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced.

He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life,

emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A foot washed up a shoe with some bones in it.

They had no idea who it was. Most everything was burned up pretty good from the fire that not a whole lot was salvageable. These are the coldest of cold cases, but everything is about to change. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. A small lab in Texas is cracking the code on DNA. Using new scientific tools, they're finding clues in evidence so tiny you might just miss it. He never thought he was going to get caught.

And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, got you. On America's Crime Lab, we'll learn about victims and survivors. And you'll meet the team behind the scenes at Othrum, the Houston Lab that takes on the most hopeless cases to finally solve the unsolvable. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

So I really appreciate you guys going through this with me. Being single just really sucks. And there's like no one that you have, there's no one that you have in a crisis. Like something happens to you. Like when, you know, Christmas I'm driving with the girls and my oldest daughter's car, she blows a tire. And I'm like, I don't want to fix a freaking tire. And there's no AA, there's no nothing.

And I literally just melted down and started bawling my eyes out. Like I just, it's like, and I know that sounds like, oh my God, you have no one to fix your tire. It was like on the road. It was Christmas. There was no one there. And I'm like with my kids. So there's no one to help you in a crisis. And the idea of turning 60, I'm, you know, 56 that's around the corner and being alone makes me really sad and really scared.

And the idea of my youngest child leaving and moving on, even though I want them to be healthy and happy and amazing. I'm scared to be alone and I feel like they are like so close to me because they don't want me to be alone and they don't want me to be scared which is awful this is everything that I didn't want for them

and I don't want a photo album I don't want to like my phone fill the pictures of myself FaceTune photos I really don't want that I mean everybody loves that I do not like that I'm like ugh look at these fucking photos. Like, where are like the fun photos of like eating ice cream or like the, you know,

like hanging out with your kids eating, you know, watching a movie or just like fun selfies. And I don't want to have lack of sex and lack of intimacy. I don't want to, I don't want to have, I don't want to have sex anymore. I don't want to have some guy taking a Viagra with some angry bird penis like looking at me, frightening me. I'm like, I need an ice pack. and this is not what I want. I want to have intimacy and love and kindness and just to like just lay there with them and talk about whatever it is. I don't want some like red, you know, like arm coming after me. Just don't want that. Nothing wrong with guys that take Viagra. But if you're going to take Viagra, why can't you say I'm going to go in the bathroom and my little friend and I are going to have a power, you know, like a little moment together and we'll be back. Like so at least I'm involved in the narrative and I'm not just like, you know, standing there with like a tripod in front of me. I'm just like, that's not what I want. I don't want that kind of sex. And I don't want to be going to events by myself. So it's, you know, everyone talks about how I'm always late to an event. The reason I'm late to an event is because

I don't want to be at the event by myself. So I go late because I'm like, if I go late, then I can leave early because everyone else is leaving early. So I'm only there for a certain amount of time. Because I don't want to be by myself. Oh yeah. So I went to this event by myself. and it was really, really great. Me, myself and I sat in the chair together, I talked to people. They were really not interested in talking to me, but I was talking to them anyway,

and, you know, they were talking to me about whatever it was, and then I left. And it used to make me so sad and miserable. I was miserable, miserable sitting there. I'd be all makeup, you know, all hair makeup, and people were like, oh, my God, you just get ready for 20 minutes? Yeah, because I was only there for 20 minutes

to do what I needed to do, and then I left. And not that I don't respect the people that have me at these events, but I was just so unhappy with myself that I wasn't even enjoying the moment that they were celebrating. So I miss out on that. And I want to have someone to vent to, like I'm venting to you guys. I want to be in a safe space where I can just be like, I'm fucking miserable today, as opposed to being like, everything's fun, everything's great. to get all this together. I'm going to go on a run and feel good. I just want to vent to someone and just be like, I am having the worst day and I'm feeling that feeling that I don't want to feel. I'm feeling that part of me is telling me I'm not good enough and I don't want to feel that anymore.

So something I'm really big on now is therapy and I'm working on myself post breakup and I'm really into manifesting my own future. This is something that I was like manifest. I was like, that is a crock. I'm like, I'm not going to manifest anything. But you know what? Since I've been doing this podcast and I actually have been looking up in my TikTok is like, manifestation, you must manifest.

And I'm like, what is going on? Now I have this new person in my head that's trying to help me to be better. And it's working. It's working. I mean, for me to be able to sit in this chair and talk to you guys like this. is not who I am, but it's me now. So when I get married someday, I have a really strong idea of who that's going to be

and what they're going to look like. After all this, after this disaster, after this like a pile of rubble of my feelings and my emotions and my old self is like, I'm just like going to clean that all up and I am going to start believing in myself first and giving myself a chance and giving myself a chance to feel and to be open and to be available and to be kind, really kind to another person. So after all this, I wrote a journal entry to my dear future husband, and I want him to know how much I love and care about him and why I'm so proud to be with him.

To my future husband, I'm so happy to have finally met you. Now that I have a healthier mindset, I'm doing the work with a therapist. I'd like to express to you how thankful I am to finally have you in my life. I've never written a heartfelt note or vows or anything outside of one love letter in my entire life. When I was writing my novel, the second course, I was asked to write a letter to the man I was dating at the time. He was an amazing person from a prestigious family, but he was married in a world of prescription drugs. Looking back, I didn't know I would engage in with a man with addictions. But I saw who he was without the drugs. And that was incredible, bright, educated, and thoughtful.

But what about me? Why did I gravitate towards a man who was emotionally unavailable? And why was I writing him a love letter? Why wasn't I writing the love letter to myself? What I quickly learned in writing that letter was that he, his addictions, and I couldn't sustain a love triangle. And I came to understand that I deserve a man who could be a safe haven. So who is that man? He's always there for me, whether the good, the bad, the ugly. He won't let me run away from uncomfortable moments. And he makes decisions with me, not for me. He's you. Always surprising me and kind of constantly piquing my curiosity. My non-negotiables are that I cannot live with a cheater, a liar, or anyone who abuses drugs or someone with anger issues.

They must love me and my family and allow me to love theirs. I need to protect me and not have to protect them. In the past, I would sabotage a relationship if I felt I was not good enough. I wanted to protect myself from hurt, and maybe that was manifested by me. taking control, which is ironic because I found myself in abusive relationships time after time. The lines were blurred. The desire was for a strong man to take control, but to protect me, not to physically assault me. That was the theme for too long. Here is who you are to me.

You make me a better person. You inspire me with little things like hot sauce. And you treat my children and their emotions with kid gloves. You make me want to nest with you. You make me want to tell the world who you are and why you're my Superman, not for the reasons you think, but because you walk next to me holding hands as a partner in everything. I'm not an open person, but I want you to know everything about me. It hasn't been the easiest to navigate the world of relationships and love, to understand who I deserve. I tell you these stories so you can hear the pain and the fear in my heart. And I now know that love isn't supposed to hurt.

I can feel love in my bones wrapped around me like the coziest juve. And you are the man I want for myself, the man I've always dreamed of. I can only pray that my daughters find a kind person like you for themselves. Here are things I'll never do. I'll never run away. I'll never belittle you, and I'll never make you insecure about how I feel about you, cheat on you, or lie to you. Thank you for believing in me, Kelly.

I just feel so much better after reading that out loud. This was so vulnerable to put out there, and I really enjoyed connecting with you, and I think that we've been through it. We've really, really, really been through it today. We loved and we've lost, and still we want to find love again. I'm being real and raw with you guys because it's the only way that I know I'm going to grow and heal. So if you're wanting some relationship or dating advice or you're single and ready to find love again, call us at 18444 for I-do pod. It's 1844-44-44-34-6-7-63 or email us,

I-do pod at iHeartRadio.com. us on Instagram and i do part two pod all this information will be in the show notes and make sure to rate and review the podcast i can't wait to hear what you think i do part two and i heart radio podcast or falling in love is the main objective my boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast,

so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast

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The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure, and, of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. This is an IHeart podcast.