The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Learning the 3 C’s with Madison Prewett Troutt

Episode Date: September 16, 2023

The love story of Madi Prewett Troutt is one you NEED to hear! Madi sits down with Ben and Ashley to share everything from her experience on Peter Weber’s season of The Bachelor, to finding her own ...true love after the show!   Madi reveals the moment she knew her husband Grant was “the one”.   Plus, find out why you shouldn’t be searching for someone who “completes you”!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.
Starting point is 00:00:26 Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your... free iHeart radio app search emergency internet com and listen now and here's Heather with the weather well it's beautiful out there sunny and 75 almost
Starting point is 00:00:39 a little chilly in the shade now let's get a read on the inside of your car it is hot you've only been parked a short time and it's already 99 degrees in there let's not leave children in the back seat while running errands it only takes a few minutes for their body
Starting point is 00:00:55 temperatures to rise and that could be fatal cars get hot Fast and can be deadly. Never leave a child in a car. A message from NHTSA and the Ad Council. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman and on She Pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton. Elaine Welteroth. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots, now on the I Heart Radio
Starting point is 00:01:29 app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure, and of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. This is the Ben and Ashley I, Almost Famous Podcast with IHartRadio. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Almost Famous. Today we have a special guest. It is Maddie Pruitt Trout. She's coming on to talk about her new book, The Love Everybody Wants, What You're Looking for, is already yours.
Starting point is 00:02:27 she uh in her last release she was a best-selling author um very excited to hear from her let's bring her on now mattie hello this is your post-marriage finding your guy book and i love this um where should we begin like who who needs to read this book everybody i put the word everybody in my title for even me married even you married this is what's crazy i started writing this book single, okay? Single and miserable and mad that I was single. And then halfway through writing this book, I actually met Grant and finished this manuscript a few months into marriage. And it's really crazy that this message that I started writing single applies to me now married, which is just fun. But yeah, I really do feel like this is a book for everybody, no matter
Starting point is 00:03:19 your upbringing, no matter your age, no matter your relationship status. I do think that this is a message that applies to everybody. I'm glad you got married. And maybe for a reason that isn't obvious, because I no longer have people messaging me seeing, will you please set me up with Maddie? Oh my gosh. Which happened all the time. So you've lighted my load a lot.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Thanks for getting married. So with that being said, you obviously came off of the show and you weren't hurting for people trying to date you. What made Grant different? Let's go back to that. What did he do that the million other people that were trying to date you didn't do? You know, this is one of my favorite questions because I get to brag about my favorite person in this world. But I think one thing that was so different about Grant, and this is going to sound, you know, like a cheesy Christian answer.
Starting point is 00:04:20 but it's actually just the truth. I had never in my life met a man who had the joy that he had, the confidence that he had, and the way that he shared his, the way that Jesus had changed his life and the way he shared just his love for people and to make a difference and to live a life on purpose, I just was literally blown away. Like I walked away from the date and I called my mom and I started crying and I was like, I literally just met my husband. And I had never, I had never been that type of girl before.
Starting point is 00:04:54 I'm like, okay, here's the 400, you know, things you have to pass. And you got to check this box in this box and this box. And I just, I mean, I just knew. And of course, I spent the next, you know, however many months after that, evaluating, you know, like, let me look at your patterns, you know, let me evaluate us together and make sure we are, you know, God's best for each other. But I just knew off the bat and it just was his joy, his love.
Starting point is 00:05:20 for God, the way he interacted with people, even our waiter, the way he treated him and you know, ask questions and just the way he shared his story and asked me questions. I just, I just knew. But I mean, there's so much into that. But yeah, I think like pretty immediately God gave me peace and just the way that I just watched him love God and love people, just drew me in immediately. How'd you guys meet? The route. Okay, well, this was funny. I was on a podcast about my other book made for this moment. And at the podcast ended and like one of the co-hosts was like, hey, are you single? And I was like, well, I mean, I am, but I'm not looking for anyone right now. I mean, I was in like the busiest season of my life. I'm like the last thing on my mind right now
Starting point is 00:06:06 is a relationship. That was probably the first time I'd ever been at that point in my life. I was boy crazy growing up. So, you know, always wanted to be in a relationship and finally reach a point where I'm like, I don't want to be in a relationship. And of course, this guy. I was like, hey, I have this person I want to introduce you to. And I was like, cool. I'm not really interested. Don't do blind dates. And he was like, okay, well, let me just like think on it for a little bit. Circles back around a month later. And he's like, no, I really want to set you up with this guy. He's like my best friend. And I really think you guys would click. And so we got set up on a blind date. We literally like didn't know each other. We didn't know anything about
Starting point is 00:06:42 each other. I ended up finding out like who he was. And I stalked his Instagram right before we went on the date and I was like he's cute he played basketball it's a plus um but uh but yeah we really didn't we didn't know each other at all and just like went into the first date just like genuinely asking each other so many questions about the other person he had never watched the show he didn't know anything about my life other than like he had found out that i was on a tv show um but yeah it was it was pretty wild so there's uh i want to dig in for a second then because you guys met he impressed you on the first day you knew something special was going to happen
Starting point is 00:07:21 obviously for myself growing up in the church and still being very connected to my faith I have a lot of friends who are women who are now later in life than they thought they would be and still single there's a lot to that we could walk through
Starting point is 00:07:39 and break down and figure out the reasons one of the I would say stereotypes and one of the maybe true themes there is that I feel as a friend to them what I tell them is you are looking for Mr. Perfect and Mr. Perfect doesn't exist. And
Starting point is 00:07:55 so you mentioned earlier you said okay on the first date. You found a guy who was confident, spoke about his faith you were attracted to all those things and you're like something special to you. And then you went through the 400 other things that made sure that there is chemistry or whatever there. It's where, okay, it's in the 400
Starting point is 00:08:11 of the other things that I think there's a problem because at some point there's a 400 other things. And not all 400 check off. And that one red flag, I think, especially with men and women in Christian circles, they go, not my guy or not my woman, not my partner. So speak a little bit. Also, you know, pulling some wisdom from the book about what happens there, like what happens in that limbo space? Because I think it's becoming frustrating for many. Yeah, totally. I mean, I have, so I have a few different chapters that I feel like touch on some of the the things that you alluded to. I do have a whole chapter on specifically on red flags because I
Starting point is 00:08:49 felt like that was a big thing for me was a lot of times I've actually found myself like tolerating, you know, red flags and just ignoring them and being like, it's fine. It's not. And, you know, it ended up costing me, I don't know, peace and in purpose and so many other things that are much more valuable to me. And so I have a whole chapter on that. But I do think that that is an important, an important thing to talk about when it comes to like expectations and what you're looking for in another person. And, you know, I have this line in my book where I talk about how unhealthy expectations just just creates like it just creates attention in your life because you're just constantly fantasizing over something that's not a reality. It's not real. No one's perfect.
Starting point is 00:09:32 You're not, we're not perfect. I'm not perfect. But healthy expectations uphold standards. And so it's being able to define what are healthy expectations. And for me, it always came back to like, what do I value most? Like, what's the most important thing to me? Like, you know, expecting someone to be this height, this job, this, you know, this personality, this, these values, this perspective on life, this background, this. I mean, having so many expectations on someone just feels unrealistic and unhealthy. And so for me, I eventually just had to get to a point of like,
Starting point is 00:10:08 what do I care about the most? Like what's the most valuable thing to me and then base that, you know, off of my decision. And I'm such a big believer personally just in peace, which is really hard to define because it's not a feeling and it's not something you can just like check a box. But for me, like first date with Grant, I mean, it wasn't even that it was like, oh, you checked a million boxes or even moving forward past that first date. I just had like so much peace that he was, you know, the man I had been praying for. and hoping for.
Starting point is 00:10:39 And so, yeah, I think we really have to, like, check ourselves and ask ourselves, like, are the same things we're expecting in other people do we have and do we offer? I think it's really easy to just, like, want that and someone else and not even be a person who's, like, currently walking that out in our own lives. And so for me, it's like, if I'm looking for someone, you know, who has these things and I value this in a person, am I practicing that and being that in my own life? And so I do think it starts there and then just asking yourself like what's the most valuable thing? Like what's the most important thing? Is it their faith? Is it their family? Is it their, you know, what I don't know, like what's the most important thing to you? And then start basing your decisions off of that. So yeah, I'd probably say that. I had to, it took me a while to get to that point, but I finally got there.
Starting point is 00:11:27 What was initially a red flag or a difference that you and Grant had that you had to kind of overcome and be like, you know what, that's not really important? that's a great question that is a good question because i i write all about like the different i have i talk about seven different red flags in my book um i don't i can't say that any of the ones that i talk about my book grant had um past relationships there were many um that people had you know like one like don't date potential like dating someone for who they could be and not who they are right now i think we do that a lot you know we we hope someone will just change and so we're willing to like put up, you know, with toxic tendencies or things that are super unhealthy because we're like, oh, it'll get better, it'll change or they'll change for me. And we think we can change
Starting point is 00:12:14 them. But what happens, you know, when they never change or they end up changing you for the worst? That's where it gets really dangerous. And so I have, you know, a whole section on that one. I think when, you know, behaviors and beliefs don't align. So when they just talk the talk, they don't actually live it out, a person's behavior should tell you everything you need to know, even if they're telling you, they value you, even if they tell you that they value faith, family, whatever it may be, if their life's, you know, patterns and habits aren't reflecting that, then there's some type of disconnect and that's not healthy. And so just the importance of, you know, behaviors following their belief system and paying attention to that and what that
Starting point is 00:12:56 actually looks like. And so I think I like along the way through all my different relationships, even, you know, dating publicly and having to really ask myself, Maddie, like, what do you value most? Like, what do you believe? Where is your identity? You know, what are you looking for in a spouse? Like, those were hard questions I had to ask myself. And I learned a lot along the way. I think that, like, there weren't red flags necessarily with grant. I think that there are going to often be, you know, in relationships because no one's perfect. There's going to be those, I don't know, what, gray flags or something, yellow flags. Bage flags. Yeah, I'm like, what are they called? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Yeah, like there's going to be things. Like, there were things about my life. He came from a very private, you know, life and upbringing. And here's, you know, this girl who lives a very public life who her whole entire relationship was on TV for a lot of people to see. That was hard for him. He was like, you know, that's weird for me that people are coming up and they know about your life. And, you know, they want to know about our relationship. Like, that's new to me. And so that was something he had to really ask. himself of like, do I want to be in a relationship, you know, with someone who they've, people have watched her previous relationship, you know, on display for a lot of people to see. That was something he had to figure out and ask himself. And so there's just, you know, things like that, I think along the way, just family things, you know, personality things that you just have to ask yourself, like, am I willing to be okay with, you know, this aspect of their life? can I can I be okay with this can I still love them even with this you know thing in their life and so
Starting point is 00:14:36 I think there's of course going to be things like that but it's like the red flags that we have to really pay attention to and ask ourselves if we can if it's really okay well you've been married long enough now that um I'm an expert now I'm 10 months I'm an expert you know it's funny had a lot of bad uh going into marriage advice and a lot of it was circled around people who are like don't do it you know it's life's gonna suck everything gets taken away from you all those things were said to me and i knew jessica well enough i knew those things were not true and i was excited to marry her um with that being said so marriage for me has been an amazing experience but there are things once you get married where uh the
Starting point is 00:15:23 the veil is lifted the honeymoon phases over uh your living life side by side, you're living life together, and it's not as, maybe I'm going to say like euphoric as maybe a good old Christian kid is told it's going to be. Like sometimes it just doesn't feel like, you know, marriage makes a ton of sense. With that being said, I believe it's still worth it. So as you're 10 months in, I'm assuming that it hasn't, you know, always been perfect. So how do you and Grant deal with the imperfection while at the same time trying to heal or to get over the expectations that maybe came from growing up in a faith background that
Starting point is 00:16:13 is telling you, marriage is the answer to everything? Totally. I love this question so much because honestly, the amount of voice memos that I was sending your wife about three months into marriage. And I'm like, hey, can you pray? I am so, I love this question because I don't think that this gets talked about enough. Because I do think there's a reality of marriage is such a gift. And I think all three of us could agree.
Starting point is 00:16:41 It's such a gift. It's great. It's amazing. It's a blessing. But at the same time, like a good relationship, like any good relationship is going to take work. And there's a lot that you got to put into it. And I think one thing that I personally didn't realize was I was honestly coming into marriage very me focused. Like, how is marriage going to, you know, bless me? And what am I, how's it going to
Starting point is 00:17:04 make me feel? And what am I going to get out of it? How's it going to serve me? And I just realized very quickly that in order for this marriage to be the healthiest and strongest that it can be, first of all, it's got to be rooted on something bigger than me and something bigger than you. And bigger than us, it's got to be rooted on on god's love and so that you know i knew that but i think it came you know to a whole new it just was it's a whole new thing when you're actually having to walk it out and so um for me realizing that and then also realizing hey this is a we relationship not a me relationship and so for me for us to have a healthy and strong relationship like i got to constantly be viewing this as like how can i serve you how can i love you how can i you know add value to your
Starting point is 00:17:50 and lay my life down for you, and vice versa. And so I definitely think that has taken a very long, I say a long time. I'm like, we're 10 months in. That took like, you know, six or seven months for me to really embrace that perspective. I think the first few months, I was very much seeing marriage as a gift, but also very much, to be honest, you know, grieving my single life, like grieving, you know, life as an independent of being able to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted, how I want, you know. And that's just something I didn't feel, like you said, Ben, like the church really talked about.
Starting point is 00:18:25 It was just like, marriage is awesome. It's the best. Find your person and everything will be perfect. And you get into marriage and all of a sudden, you're like, is something wrong with me? Did I make a mistake? You know, did I not hear from God? And it's just like, no, everybody has those feelings because you're literally marrying an imperfect human. And by the way, you're imperfect.
Starting point is 00:18:45 And that was a rude awakening for me. I was like, oh, all these things I thought I had already dealt with in my life. are resurfacing, you know, insecurities and past pains and hurts and traumas and trust issues and all the things like they're resurfacing. And, you know, I'm having to, I'm having to deal with them. And so, yes, I think, you know, the biggest thing for us has truly been like, hey, what is the why behind our marriage? What is the purpose behind our marriage? It's so much bigger than us. It's not about us. It's about, you know, a greater love. And truly, that's really why I wrote this book was even in my singleness realizing, you know, Maddie, you're looking for all the right things
Starting point is 00:19:25 and all the wrong places. You're trying to find this amazing love that's going to complete you and satisfy you and fulfill you in every single way in another person. And that just can't be found in another person. And I tried for so long for it to be found in another person. And so that was kind of the awakening and epiphany I had in singleness. And it was almost like I had to relearn that in marriage too. Like, oh, yeah, he can't meet my every desire and need. and satisfy me in every way. He's going to continue to fail me, and I'm going to continue to fail him.
Starting point is 00:19:55 And it's just having that patience and that forgiveness and that kindness towards each other and just keeping the right perspective that's honestly kept us just moving forward. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam.
Starting point is 00:20:17 Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's about. to school week on the okay story time podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy?
Starting point is 00:20:36 That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants. them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not?
Starting point is 00:20:56 To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD, ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast Season 4 is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Our new super secret bestie is The Diva of the People. The Diva of the People. I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley.
Starting point is 00:22:15 And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love. friendship, heartbreaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Marco Tura podcast network available on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced.
Starting point is 00:22:46 He said, you are a number. a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You guys didn't live together before you got married. So I'm assuming that was a huge, like not a hurdle.
Starting point is 00:23:44 Let's just call it a hurdle. because, like, joining yourself in the same house is, it's huge because, like, then you have to live with, you have to, you have to learn each other as just like living tendencies. Did that play a role and maybe the first few months being like, oh, wow, this isn't us magical, I thought. You know, I think it's definitely when, like, as, as a Christian, when you're really pursuing, you know, purity and God's will, like, I will say, you know, getting, getting married, it's like you go from zero to 100. It's all, wow, there's a lot of things I'm introducing in my life right now. I've never done that before. Okay, this is new. And so I definitely think there was, of course, like an adjustment like anything, you know, it's change. It's an adjustment.
Starting point is 00:24:29 There's a lot you're learning in a very quick time. It's all happening, you know, quickly. I will say, though, even though it had, of course, it's like challenges, like I look back and I'm truly so, so, so great. that that was our story and that we, yeah, that we hadn't lived together and that we hadn't slept together and that that was something that we did say for marriage. I think it, of course, like I said, you know, there was the, you have to figure it out at the beginning, but it also, you know, in my opinion, made it that much more special and just really
Starting point is 00:25:06 invited, you know, got into it in such a special way too. And so I'm super grateful for it and I actually have a whole chapter also on purity alone. because I think that is such a hot topic in a lot of different ways and, you know, something that is not easy, but I do believe it's super worth it. And so, yeah, definitely, definitely an adjustment. But I think the surprises, you know, that were just like, oh, didn't know that about you, you know, have now become like things that I truly love and value, you know, about him and about our relationship and just grateful that it it is a part of our story there's um you know that mattie the the beauty of this is i do think books like yours the love that everybody wants is important
Starting point is 00:25:57 because as i said before i think there is a um a large lie kind of with great intentions coming through especially people trying to do relationships right and well and honoring in god's eyes and honoring to the faith that you're professing, there's a large lie of beneath it that needs to be, there needs to be some reality and truth exposed. Like, hey, when you get married, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. Like, it sometimes really sucks.
Starting point is 00:26:27 It's sometimes really hard. Sometimes you question everything about yourself and you got to work through that and all these things. And, hey, when you're dating, sometimes you're going to, you know, maybe not make the wise decision and date the right person. Or you're going to take it steps farther than you thought you ever would. there's going to have to be a lot of grace and forgiveness within that.
Starting point is 00:26:46 And all these things that are told over and over again within the church, I think books like yours can help bring a reality to people that are pursuing and dating. And so my question then with this is, if there's somebody out there, I want to go to the single person who is listening to say, I'm going to read the book. I just love Maddie. I read anything she writes. And I'm very intrigued by this book. Let me rephrase this.
Starting point is 00:27:13 What's the message to the reader that you hope they get from your book? Yeah. In general. Married, single, dating, whatever, in general. I think it's a two part one I want to speak to because you alluded to this. I think one of the biggest messages that I truly do want, you know, people to take away from this again, no matter where their faith background is or who they are or what they come from or the decisions they've made up until this point is truly that a partner in life is not meant to complete you. and we'll never complete you.
Starting point is 00:27:45 And they are meant to be a compliment to you. They are meant to add value to your life. They are meant to be an addition, but not a completion. And that your purpose is not a person. Your identity is not a relationship status. We have so much value to add to this world, no matter we are, if we're in a single season of life, a married season of life, our heart cannot be whole and complete by anyone else other than the one who created it.
Starting point is 00:28:13 And so that is something that I'm extremely passionate about is just helping, especially women understand, like, you don't have to compromise your values and convictions. You don't have to change who you are in order to be liked and accepted by someone else. You actually can just be exactly who God has called you to be and trust that you are where you are for a reason and that you're not walking around less whole or half a person waiting for someone else to come along and complete you. like there there is so much um there's just so much on your life and uh i just think that's something that i'm super super passionate about and then really the inspiration behind this book um came when
Starting point is 00:28:52 you know i was at a place in my life where i was miserable being single and i didn't want to be single and every single one of my friends were getting married and i think i'd caught like 15 wedding bouquets and i was like in this thing supposed to like do something you know like aren't supposed to be married by now like i was so confused and i was frustrated and i was like okay i thought I was going to be married by, you know, this age. And I thought I would be having kids by now. And I thought this is what my life would look like. And I was just so frustrated.
Starting point is 00:29:18 And I remember, you know, reading in the Bible, Matthew 22, the two greatest commandments that I'd grew up hearing like a million times in church. And I was like, okay, like, God, why are you like, you know, these verses on my heart? But it was like I saw it in a new light. And in these verses, it talks about, you know, our two greatest commandments, our greatest calling and purpose in this life is to love the Lord or God with all of our heart, soul, and mind. And the second says, and to love your neighbor as yourself. And for the first time, I saw these three loves being highlighted to me. And not only the importance of these three loves,
Starting point is 00:29:49 but the importance of the order of these three loves. And so in this book, I wanted to talk about, hey, it starts as the foundation, God's love is the foundation for everything in which we build on. And if we don't get that right, it's like we're trying to build a house on quicksand. It's like, it's going to fall. It's going to mess up. It's going to be like, especially when storms of life come, like we've got to have our foundation built on something greater than ourselves and on something greater than this world. And so having our life and our love life built on God's love. And then the second is learning to love and value ourselves. I think for a lot of us, we don't know how to love ourselves and we definitely don't know how to like ourselves. And so it's like how do we learn how
Starting point is 00:30:28 to value ourselves, see ourselves as valuable so that we can enter into these relationships and with other people from a place of, I know who I am, and whether you accept me or reject me, that doesn't take or steal from my, you know, the reality of my identity and who I am. And being able to enter relationships from a place of abundance and not lack, not looking to be completed, but looking to find someone to compliment and looking for someone to compliment us. And so those are the two, you know, first two loves and then the third is, you know, from those two places, having healthy and strong relationships with God and ourselves. And we're able to, you know, develop healthy and strong relationships with other people.
Starting point is 00:31:08 And so it's getting those relationships in order that we're able to have the thriving relationships and love that we all deep down want. So my nanny, Dawson's nanny, she is the most amazing angel on earth. And I'm so blessed to have her. Like when we found her, we were like, what's your schedule like? Like, what do you need us to work around? And she was like, I just want to go to church on Sundays. I feel like I could have Sundays mainly off. And I was like, you're hired.
Starting point is 00:31:39 Right answer. She's just literally the perfect partner I could ever imagine for somebody. But she says that like she has a really hard time dating because like she basically just dates in her church's circle. So like all the people in her church are just, they just kind of. That's the pool. That's the dating pool. What advice do you have for her?
Starting point is 00:32:02 like somebody who's looking for somebody of faith but like it's it's it's has happening a hard time finding it well you're not alone and i understand that i remember being at a place where i felt like okay at some point i'm going to have to compromise like at some point i'm going to have to just settle because like i'm just not seeing anybody who's you know reaching that like level that i had just been praying for and hoping for and so i remember having that doubt and that frustration um for a very long time and every relationship that I would see or that I would even like start talking to someone. It was like they would have, you know, certain qualities that I'm like, that's awesome, but I would have to settle in this area. I just would, I mean, I would continue to encourage her
Starting point is 00:32:43 and those listening. You know, your environment does matter. Like I do love that she is in a church environment looking, you know, for a spouse. I think your environment matters and making sure that you are setting yourself up for success by being an environment in which you would want to find, you know, a potential partner in someone that you would, you know, want to spend the rest of your life with. I think, like, you know, for me, it's like what, you know, what are the things that matter most to her? What are the, you know, what's the checklist, I guess, that she's looking for. And I think for me, it finally came down to, like, three things. And I call it, like, my three Cs, you know, in the, in the book. But the first one is just convictions. Like,
Starting point is 00:33:24 what are, what are, what are his convictions? Like, is he actually following Jesus? or does he just say that he, like, follows Jesus? Like, is he actually living a life that reflects what he says he believes? And then, too, is his character? Like, is he a person of his word? Is he someone who, you know, finishes what he starts? Is he someone who is trustworthy? Is he someone who speaks highly of other people and is life-giving?
Starting point is 00:33:51 And then the last one is chemistry. I'm like, yeah, like, I want to, like, looking at you. I want to, like, be able to, like, want to kiss you. Yeah. I know, right? Like, I'm like, I mean, I admire the people that are like, that does not matter. I admire that. To me, I was like, I'm going to be laying down next to you every single, every single night when we get married one day. So I want to, I want to like looking at you. And so, yeah, I mean, for me, I finally just like, I narrowed it down to those three things. And I was like, this is what, this is what it would take for me to like say I'm your girlfriend and to start dating.
Starting point is 00:34:26 And then I, you know, there's a whole other set of things that I evaluated once we started dating, evaluating, could you be, you know, my spouse? But I would just say, you know, define what those deal breakers are. Like, define what those things are that you're looking for. I think for a lot of people, they don't find what they're looking for because they don't know what they're looking for. They don't have, they don't have sure vision for, like, what it is that they actually want. They're just basing it off of feelings or they're basing it off of culture. And it's like, hey, you got to know, like, at the end of the day, what's going to be, who do you want to spend the rest of your life with? Like, what kind of person do you want to be with? What kind of person do you want raising your children one day?
Starting point is 00:35:04 And asking yourself those serious questions and then praying. Like, I wrote down those things and I just started praying. And I was like, okay, Lord, if this is, if this is your will for my life, like, this is what I'm believing for. too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're chief. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet.
Starting point is 00:36:00 So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, We're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD...
Starting point is 00:36:28 Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in.
Starting point is 00:36:46 That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, we're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it.
Starting point is 00:37:01 Get in here! Today, we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is the diva of the people. The diva of the people. I'm just like, text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself.
Starting point is 00:37:17 Okay. That's us. That's us. My name is. Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and, of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the My Cultura podcast network available
Starting point is 00:37:36 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hola, it's Honey German, and my podcast, Grasias Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment. With raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists. and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't audition in, like, over 25 years.
Starting point is 00:37:59 Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters, sharing their real stories of failure and success. You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending
Starting point is 00:38:17 with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing vivas you've come to expect. And of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know, I'm me. But the whole pretending and code, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasasas Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network
Starting point is 00:38:42 on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Do you think that your person, who you decide to be with is like a choice and that there's many people out there that could be the person that you can live a happy life with? Or do you feel that like God destined you to be with Grant? So here's where I play devil's advocate on both sides. I don't have just a point blank answers that question. I've heard many different people have point blank answers. to that question. I think in my particular situation, there were many moments I 1,000 percent
Starting point is 00:39:29 could have married someone else. And I think God would have blessed it. And I think it would have been, I think it would have been a good marriage. I really do. You know, I dated someone for four years in college and he loved God. And we, you know, had similar just value statements for life. We saw things the same way. And we had fun together. And, you know, he checked off the three Cs that I just listed off. But at the end of the day, like the one thing that was missing for me was peace. Like, I just did not have a peace. Like, I could not, I could not get my heart around like, you are just who I'm supposed to be with. And again, it was like, I could have just made the decision. I could have just been like, no, we're going to, we're like, we're going to get
Starting point is 00:40:12 married. And I think it would have been fine. And so that's where like I go back and forth because I do, I do feel now. I'm like, no, Grant was literally God's best for me. And I'm so glad that I didn't settle. I am glad that I trusted just those little inklings. I think a lot of times we have gut feelings that sometimes we ignore, you know, where it's like, oh, I think there's more. I think there's better. I think God has something different for me. And we can choose to push those down, those feelings down and just do whatever we want. And I do think if we still give it to God, he could still bless it. So I do think that there's many different people that, you know, we could be with. I don't know that I would say there's just one soulmate.
Starting point is 00:40:52 out there. I don't know that I believe in like the definition of a soulmate, but I will say, you know, I do believe Grant is God's best. So I feel like I'm contradicting myself, but I just, I do think that for me, it came down to just like peace. Like I, I didn't have peace about the guy that I could have married. And then I had so much peace about Grant from the very beginning and like followed that piece till the end. And so naturally I can say I do think that he was God's best for me. But at the same time, do I think I could have married someone else? Absolutely. I think that's a great answer. Thank you so much. Yeah. I was like, I was like, I don't know. I feel like I'm running it. No, no, no, no. It all makes sense for sure. Well, Maddie, thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:41:34 When is the book out? The book is out September 19th. So. Oh, God, literally any day now. I know. It's literally crazy. It's here. I've been working on it. Like I said, I started writing it single. So I feel like I've been working on this thing for forever. And so I'm very, very excited that it's here. Well, thank you so much. We are really excited for you. You are, you're killing it. You're doing a great job.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Just be a good leader in this world. All right. Thank you. See ya. Bye. Again, if everybody wants to pick up the love everybody wants, what you're looking for is already yours by Maddie Pruitt Trout. It is her recent addition to using her wisdom and her words and her faith.
Starting point is 00:42:18 So all of us can enjoy what she's learning and what she's going through. So make sure you go pick that up. Thanks for Maddie for coming on. Until next time, I've been Ben. I've been Ashley. See ya. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcasts on IHartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
Starting point is 00:42:37 Hi, my name is Enya Jumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crime, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness,
Starting point is 00:42:57 psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. I always have to be so good, no one could ignore me. Carve my path with data and drive.
Starting point is 00:43:13 But some people only see who I am on paper. The paper ceiling. The limitations from degree screens to stereotypes that are holding back over 70 million stars. Workers skilled through alternative routes rather than a bachelor's degree. It's time for skills to speak for themselves. Find resources for breaking through barriers at tetherpapersealing.org. Brought to you by Opportunity at Work and the Ad Council. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it?
Starting point is 00:43:40 Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring, pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie, Monica Patton, Elaine Welteroff. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Listen to these women and more on
Starting point is 00:44:00 She Pivotts, now on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, good game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure, and of course, the honey deuses,
Starting point is 00:44:16 the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. This is an IHeart podcast.

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