The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Man Up

Episode Date: June 14, 2025

Besties Thelma & Louise are back - and this time they're joined by a single, eligible, divorced bachelor “J.D.”, to get a man's perspective on dating I do's and don'ts!From hobbies that men find sexy to fashion they like, to if debt is REALLY a turn off - J.D. is giving you ALL the info so you can date in your chapter 2 with confidence! Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your... free iHeartRadio app, search emergency intercom, and listen now. How serious is youth vaping? Irreversible lung damage serious. One in ten

kids vape serious, which warrants a serious conversation from a serious parental figure, like yourself. Not the seriously know-at-all sports dad or the seriously smart podcaster. It requires a serious conversation that is best had by you. No, seriously. The best

person to talk to your child about vaping is you. To start the conversation, at talk about vaping.org. Brought to you by the American Lung Association and the Ad Council. I was diagnosed with cancer on Friday and cancer free the next Friday. No chemo, no radiation, none of that. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast,

I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. Professionally, I started at Deadwell Records. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music

and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure,

and of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment

on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. Hey, I'm Kurt Brown-Oler. And I am Scotty Landis, and we host Bananas, the podcast where we share the weirdest, funniest, real news stories from all around the world. And sometimes from our guest personal lives, too. Like when Whitney Cummings recently revealed her origin story on the show.

There's no way I don't already have rabies. This is probably just why my personality is like this. I've been surviving rabies for the past 20 years. New episodes of bananas drop every Tuesday in the exactly right network. Listen to bananas on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's I-do Part 2, and it's your favorite real-life besties, Phelma and Louise. It's been a man. minute since we've been on the podcast, but we're so excited about today's episode. Today, it's all

about getting inside the mind of a man. How do they think? What do they like? So let's bring in our single guy JD. And he is a total smoke show. So it's going to be so much fun unpacking with such a hot eat. Well, J.D., we have on pretty good authority that you're an amazing guy. We obviously have friends of friends. So we're super excited to talk to you today and really want to just dive deep into your head so that you can help all of the female listeners out there figure out what we're doing right and maybe what we're doing wrong and just give us a little direction. So kind of diving into the first question, help us understand how do you meet good quality guys out there? Yeah, it's a tough one to start out. But I'll tell you there's a there's no

one place. I would say obviously you can it can be a bar. It could be bumble. It could be anything like that, but if you want to get a little more strategic, I would say places where you have a shared interest, right? I have a friend who is super into sailing, who's a woman, and she goes to bars in Sauclito and Tibran and goes to yacht club parties. She wants to meet someone who's into sailing like she is. So if you have a shared interest surfing, skiing, doing things where you're likely to meet somebody with a shared interest, otherwise, you've got bars, you've got Bumble, you know, eHarmonymatch.com and all that. I've seen those, all of those work for people, right?

And I don't think there's necessarily, it's a bad idea to try multiple options. Question, though. What I have found in this day and age is because everybody is attached to their devices, even the apps or whatever, how often do you approach a table of, I mean, obviously approaching a table with five women is daunting, but even like two girls sitting at a bar, how often do you do the old school method of perhaps sending over a glass of wine

or sending a note on a napkin or going up and saying hello? It feels like those days are few and far between. Yeah, it's a fair point. I'm very comfortable going up to a group of maybe two or three girls. I think if the group is five, six, eight girls, I'm probably not going to, right? But if it's just two or three,

I'm happy to go up and start a conversation or send a drink to one of them and try to start a conversation that way. So, yeah, I do think if you're trying to meet a guy going out in really big groups is going to be intimidating. I would focus on having one or two people there with you. And what about how often do you experience the reverse?

Like a girl kind of, you know, seizing the day and being, you know, super confident in her own skin in doing that. I mean, I've recently, Thelma and I have heard stories about, you know, girls we know that are literally going out on a Saturday night to a hot spot and sitting at a bar by herself.

That takes so much courage and confidence. Yeah, I see, I think maybe people are more confident now. I don't know, but I've definitely had people come up and just say, hey, what's your deal? Or I had a woman say, can your dog is cute? Can I walk your dog sometime? But I do think, I think people are willing, to try things and take a chance?

I think the dog, the dog is a good one. The dog's a good one. I mean, I feel like we're really missing talking about walking the dog or using your dog is like, you know. It's also servicing. Look at that. She is servicing already. Can you imagine that?

How antiquated, right? Yeah, I mean, not only that, she, and then she said, well, do you, are you just going to drop the dog at my place? And she said, well, no, I'm at the back of this restaurant, just come and get the dog from there. And then we sat and ended up having dinner and drink. So she really, she had a good game plan. She lured you in.

I also think that that's one of the things that there are a lot of things that we don't maybe have going for us as we age and like 40, 50 years old, whatever. But I do think like I feel so sorry for our children because I do think that the thought of randomly walking up to somebody is so foreign to them because they are so into their devices and they don't meet anyone naturally anymore or they feel like know people before they've even met them because, again, all the cyberstocking and everything. But I do think that probably our generation, there still exists a little bit of that. Like, we had to go out and meet people naturally.

And maybe just even talking about this today, it makes me realize, like, we should hold on to that and try to be doing that. We should. Like, standing in a Starbucks line. I mean, I was telling a friend of mine who never goes out, I said, love isn't going to drop out of Netflix, right? I think it was me. You might have said that to me. No, but, like, you have to go out into the world, and it's, believe me, it's hard, but it's just changed so much.

I remember when I graduated, I went to, well, we all went to Cal, but graduating, and in San Francisco back then, they had singles night at Safeway at the market on Sundays as an opportunity to meet people. And I was like, they don't do that stuff anymore. Single Safeway is pretty legendary. I would say, yeah, I have, I do have one tip to make it easier for people to gain that confidence. Instead of saying to somebody, hey, I find you really attractive or for the woman to say, like, do you have a girlfriend? Like, lower the, like, just say, hey, I think your shirt is really cool.

Or like, you have a, like, just compliment something about the woman or the man. And then it's not that big a deal. Like, hey, I just think it's a cool, you have cool earrings. You're not taking this huge risk. It's like, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? You can, you can lower the bar of stress by just complimenting something like, oh, your shoes, your pants are, like, your shoes are cool. And then that's not that stressful. And they don't have to be like, I do or don't have a boyfriend. So it lowers the pressure on both sides. So just ask a non-threatening question.

Like, I like your shirt. Phelma and I had an interesting thing happen. We were, it was a Sunday fun day for us. We were sitting at the bar at South Beverly Grill. Do you remember this, Thelma? I do remember. And there was this, like, really handsome guy. And for literally an hour, we were talking.

to him. And we were thinking, well, one of us is definitely going to get this guy's number. And then all of a sudden, he announced he had a girlfriend, which was just interesting on so many levels. Do you remember that? After like 45 minutes of him being pretty flirty. He didn't buy us a drink, so maybe that was running aside. We were buying our own drinks. It doesn't sound like he likes his girlfriend very much, but that's right. Or that he's, he or that he's faithful, a little gray area. Yeah, or he's got some other issues. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We, I think we, we salvaged ourselves on that one. Okay, what about like when you first see a girl? For example, a first date, we have curated and we feel like it's kind of tried and true for us where it's like what we feel super comfortable and it's jeans. So it's kind of casual and not, you know, it kind of takes you to any restaurant that you might go to. But also like a really cute top that's not too revealing, but still like you look good at it. So that's kind of our look. But I mean, we're not just. for each other, right? Well, we are. Well, no, we are. We have all the same stuff. So the outfit is

actually the great pair of jeans. And we have 9,000 options. And then a great top. And like, we've got pretty much all the same leather jackets that we toss over our shoulders kind of like for warmth. And we do text each other before we go out together because it's highly probable that we're wearing the same outfit. But question is what, like when you first meet a girl, what are you looking for or what are things that you notice where you're like oh my gosh great look or attractive oh yeah well i guess just clothing wise i i agree with the whole jeans um look and not having something that's crazy revealing i think that's a good a good move i will say one mistake i see women make sometimes is they go with some really cool pair of like flats that they have and i would say i would

say most men find a little bit of like a sandal or a wedge or something, most men find that attractive unless they're five foot four or something. I would say most men would prefer that to your favorite flat shoe. That's interesting. What about makeup? What's your feeling on makeup and kind of like glamorama? Yeah, it can be, it's nice when you don't have the reaction that It's a ton coming your way for, I think that's a nice, a nice vibe. But I mean, yeah, a little makeup's great. If it's, if it's really over the top, it might turn some people off. Some people might not care.

But for me personally, a little bit more of a sporty, I don't know, athletic vibe is more my vibe. Some men might want someone who's just glamour and they freaking love it. It's just not my personal life. Although they better look the same when they wake up in the morning. Well, that would be that. But that actually brings an interesting point. So when you're making a first date or a second date with somebody, do you prefer the hike slash coffee, throw on leggings kind of a thing?

Or do you prefer the going out, glass of wine, a little bit of alcohol, makes people a little more comfortable for the first date? What's your preference? Yeah, I do think on the first date, it's better not to. do a day, a middle of the daytime thing because you're trying to get a, you're trying to get a spark and a romance going. So you could do a happy hour thing where, hey, we're going to go for a hike at five and then we're going to meet and open some wine and have dinner. So I've done that before. I met somebody at 4.30 at a like a roof deck and then we went to whatever. But the,

so yeah, don't do a midday date on your first date. You can hike on your second date. I think the key in the first date is to see if there's some type of spark. there at a three-hour hike at, you know, 10 a.m. is not, it's not the right move. We're going to have to go back to that spark comment. But actually, I do want to ask a question. So, on the concept of happy hour, what, when a woman is sober, is that something that should be brought up before the date? Is it something that, you know, is it feel weird when you guys are ordered your drink? And she's like, I'll just have some hot water and lemon. What is your feeling on that?

Because we have a lot of sober friends who before a date kind of feel nervous about it. And I said recently to somebody, I said, look, if he's not okay with that, then he's not your guy. Because you should be proud of your journey and where you are at. Yeah, 100%. If somebody doesn't think that their date drinks enough, I think they have some other things to worry about. If a woman is at ease and confident and doesn't need alcohol, then more power to her. The point is for someone to be at ease in their own skin. And if they do that, if somebody has that without drinking, I'd say that's bonus points.

I don't think it's negative points at all. But I think I think if you, I mean, if you are feeling uncomfortable about it yourself about not drinking, I think it is best to let the person know before you go out because it clears the air. If there is an issue, it comes up before the date. I mean, we've talked about this, Louise, like, we have friends who don't drink, and they've never, drinking is not such a non-issue for them. They don't even think of it as like, oh, like, you have a problem with me ordering a drink, but we have other friends who are like, well, I'm kind of uncomfortable. What if they don't like the fact that I don't drink? And I think that that's kind of gets back to just being super authentic with who you are. And if there's things that you are insecure, not that you want to dump everything before you've even met somebody.

but I don't think it's the wrong thing to let somebody know before you show up for the date just so like expectations are set. Yeah, I guess. I just, I guess that's true. I don't think it's some big monster thing you have to reveal. If you forget to say it before you go on a date,

I don't think it's that big of a deal, right? Like it isn't like, oh my God, I can't believe you didn't tell me that you don't drink. Like it isn't, you know, or that you have 10 kids or that you're married, right? It's not one of those types of gotchas where for me, if someone said, oh, yeah, I'm trying out this non-drinking thing.

I'd be like, great. Like, good for you, whatever. I just, I don't think it's a big elephant in the room, I guess. And I think a lot of people these days are into fitness and not drinking and other sober curious and all those fun things, right? So circling back to the concept of a spark. So this is something that Thelma and I speak about a lot on all of our dates. So I think when we were all starting out in life,

the butterflies, the spark, we're like, yes, soulmate, right? I don't know. That doesn't always happen anymore. And I'm wondering now if that goes to that theory of that spark is really a mirror to kind of your childhood wounds that need to be resolved, right? And do you believe you have to have an initial kind of chemistry? Or do you feel that an amazing relationship can grow from each date as you begin to, to unpeel the onion and learn about their character and who they are. Like, how important do you think that initial spark is?

Yeah, a great question. I've had people that I was very initially superficially attracted to and then became less attracted to them as I got to know them, right? And I've had the opposite, right, where somebody is maybe not, you know, you weren't as drawn to them just superficially, but you got to know them and you just got more attracted to them as a person. So I think you either have to be attracted to their looks. or who they are, one of those attractions

that's going to show up on your first date or the combination of that. So I guess it doesn't have to be all looks. I've gone on dates with people that I didn't find that attractive and I'm like, I don't know if this is going to go anywhere, but I ended up being super intrigued by who they were as a person and the spark came from there and we ended up continued to date. So I don't, it doesn't matter where it comes from,

but there needs to be somewhere you're intrigued or interested or there's a spark about who they are. How many dates do you give it before you decide that do you at least go on a second date? Yeah. If you don't feel intrigued or interested or attracted to the person by the second date, there's a good chance that it's not going to happen on the third date. But yeah, I'd say something should happen by the second date or maybe you're, You guys are both bark up the wrong treat.

That's my view. And then do you pretty head on say it was great meeting you, I wish you the best of luck, didn't feel a romantic connection, or do you ghost? I mean, what's your move in terms of exiting something that you're not into? Yeah,

I think people can handle the truth. I think they prefer it. So I would tell somebody, hey, it was very cool getting to know you. I don't see a huge connection with us. and but it was totally my privilege to have time with you. I like that. Belma,

let's take note on that privilege word. That would be good for us too. And what happens when you're like a month or two in to something? And it's good. It has some good elements. But in your heart, you think maybe you're fitting a square peg into a round hole, but yet you know there's a lot of good there.

What do you do? Louise, are you, may be asking for a friend that you're really close to. Yes, I'm asking for a friend that I'm really close to. It's all about a friend. It sounds really close to home. So was your question, was your question was, I want to make sure I understand it. My question is you've given it a period of significant period of time and it's good, but it's not in your heart. It doesn't feel maybe a hundred percent and that you're kind of fitting a square peg into a round hole and you're at different paces, I don't know, like...

Yeah, well, I would just say if you're two months in, I mean, often when you're with somebody that you really connect with, month two, things are, like, it's feeling really pretty fucking amazing. Can I, if I don't know if I can use the F word on your show, but that it doesn't usually feel kind of like blah and terrible. in month two if there's a good, strong connection. I don't say terrible. I'm saying it's even.

I'm just saying if you're having those thoughts in month two, I would share them and say, hey, I think you and I are a good fit. I don't, and I actually said this to someone. I think we're a good fit. I don't think we're a great fit. And I think that's a fair. Oh, that's another good one. And I'm going for greatness.

Yeah, we're only here once. So. Well, and that's what I keep saying to Louise. I feel like Louise, if I do say. say, if I can call you out, I feel like you often question when you go out with great people, like, is something wrong with you or are your standards too high? And they're a great person. And you list off all the reasons they're amazing. And it's true. Their resume and everything about them is amazing. But that doesn't mean that they're amazing for you. And I think we all do deserve the most.

And why cash in your chips now if you don't feel that feeling for people or a person? 100%. Like, well, I mean, yeah. I mean, I had a two-year marriage and a 20-year marriage. So I can tell you how to get it wrong quickly and how to get it wrong slowly. But the last few years have been amazing. Wait, thirds of charm. So the next person you end up with is going to be your golden ticket.

Yeah, but you say that. Your unicorn. I had somebody that I dated that was married. twice before and he kept saying third times the charm and I was like well I've only been married once so who are you talking about? Who is it referred to you? A third time was his charm. I don't think it matters whether it's the second time or the four time. I think the key is that you've stopped some of the maybe the patterns that you used to fall into. I know that one of the, what we were just talking about was at least for me it was settling for something that wasn't great or that some behaviors that weren't great and actually

the just wanting it to be great. The last few years of my of my dating has been better than the rest of my life all put together. It was basically just raising the bar, setting boundaries, and being more picky. And like,

and I'm not talking about looks. I'm just saying being more picky about the connection. Like, if it feels pretty average, it's probably pretty freaking average. And like, that's your connection is average. And it's,

it should feel better. than that. And that's, you know, and so having boundaries and being picky, I got to say, those are a big deal. I just read the most fabulous book on boundaries, transforming. And it's so interesting that that's the word you're bringing up because I'm practicing boundaries. But I don't like to upset people or, but I agree with you. Boundaries are absolutely key. And a relationship's a two-way street. It has to work for both people, right? I mean, I don't know. Okay, moving on to children because I think we all have children and they're getting older. And so in our 40s or 50s, the big question is, you know, when you date people, does it

matter how old their kids are? Do they have kids? Do they not have kids? And J.D., what's your take on that? For you? Like, what do you prefer and what are no-go zones for you? Yeah, for me, I have two kids. So if someone else has kids, kids, it's great. We would share that in common. So that's fantastic. If they don't, that's okay too. But I would actually prefer it if they did. Age-wise, it doesn't matter to me whether they're young or old. I'd say the biggest, the only time that came up is when somebody was out of town and they had such young kids that it just, there was no way to, you know, for us to be in the same location, right? So you would date somebody with a two-year-old?

Like, you would date somebody that has- Somebody's in the same city as you and they have a a two-year-old, that would be fine, although I do, would prefer someone to not be, I would not prefer a 20-year age gap. So as long as they're, they have a two-year-old, but they're, ideally, you know, 10 years or less age difference. Cudos to you about age, about the whole age-appropriate thing, because we see a lot of that huge age split with the kind of cliche 50-year-old guy and the 25-year-old girl and then all of a sudden they want kids and then you're either reversing a vasectomy or you're breaking up and it's it's all super interesting yeah i don't i mean i i i tried that when i first um first got single about four years ago and i i tried dating people in their

you know 30s and and uh as well as 40s and i will tell you um without a doubt it was a deeper connection with somebody you have something in common with, right? And some of the people I was attracted to in their 30s was fun. But after a date or two, there was no, we didn't have anything in common. And so I think unless you're really looking for something, unless someone's looking for something very superficial and short-term and casual, you're barking up the wrong tree. If you want to be, if you want to find someone you're connected with,

it would be you're going to have a much better chance of being successful if they're at least, you know, eight, maybe they're five, ten years younger, five, ten years older, maybe they're the exact same age. You've got a much better chance of having things in common and having a deeper connection.

That's my view. But other people might have different views on that. But I look, I tried it. I didn't like it. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just,

looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the okay story time podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now hold up, isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's Certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet.

So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hola, it's Honey German, and my podcast, Grasasas Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment, with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in like over 25 years. Oh, wow.

That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters, sharing their real stories of failure and success. You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing vivras you've come to expect. And of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity,

struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know, I'm me. But the whole pretending and code, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas Has Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. My name is Ed. Everyone say hello, Ed.

I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. The 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house.

So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Jennifer Lopez. And in the new season of the Overcomfort podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship?

Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort. Happened in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen.

Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcomper podcast as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. A foot washed up a shoe with some bones in it. They had no idea who it was. everything was burned up pretty good from the fire that not a whole lot was salvageable. These are the coldest of cold cases, but everything is about to change. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA.

Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. A small lab in Texas is cracking the code on DNA. Using new scientific tools, they're finding clues in evidence so tiny you might just miss it. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. On America's Crime Lab, we'll learn about victims and survivors, and you'll meet the team behind the scenes at Othrum,

the Houston Lab that takes on the most hopeless cases, to finally solve the unsolvable. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you care, J.D., when you meet a girl on an app and she's lied about her age and the pictures aren't recent? Yeah, again, I don't care as much about their age as the part that they need to lie or feel like they need to be somebody different. If someone's not comfortable in their own skin, when they're 21, I get it. You're still becoming an adult.

But if you're already an adult and you're lying to people, that's a big turn off for me. I don't care whether you're 40 or 50, but I care about is... Authenticity and... Yeah, just be authentic. I mean, like, come on. Yeah, it's like a gateway to future lying, right? Yeah, like you said, if you're 18 and you're super insecure, maybe that's different, but if you're a grown-up, like, come on.

Act it, yeah. Do you have a preference on women who are career-oriented professionals, or do you prefer somebody who is more available and, you know, like, a stay-at-home mom or somebody who's more of a of a homemaker what is your you know what are you more attracted to yeah i mean i i i guess i'm attracted to intelligence and most um it depends on what stage they're in right if like said if if we're having kids together that's different but if if they have young kids there and they don't have to work that's great if they if that's fine for them but I'm I'm not I would just say I'm not not attracted to people who focused on full

time with their kids or they focused on their career and or they tried to juggle they're juggling both either is fine I would say there's not there's neither one is unattractive it there's there's no downside there I think if the person is if if they're intelligent and they're hardworking and they make choices like what what's I just don't see a negative there. I think if I was if I was just about to if I was just about to have kids and then I'd be having a different conversation with somebody about interesting what do you want to do with kids? Do you know guys who are not into career women and who subscribe to the concept of somebody who's you know at home waiting on them hand in foot and doing all that or

do you feel like it's a little more balanced now like you know the traditional 50s mad men wife versus I don't know I mean I think this is a we're talking about like a 1% scenario or a 5% scenario I think in the real world both people are probably working or doing something and if there are there are people that have the ability to not work and that's great I think it's about other things though I don't think it's necessarily about working or not working I think I think a fear for some divorced men are that like hey, I just got out of something and it was heavy or it was financially very costly. And as much as I'm looking for another relationship, I don't know if I have it in me to like take on a second family or support a woman.

So I think that is more often the case for at least that I can ever see. Then it's like, do I want somebody staying at home and doting on me full time? Yeah, I agree. I don't think there's too many madmen types still out. out there that are saying, you know, please have a home cooked meal when I walk in the door. I think your point is really valid, which is if somebody thinks somebody has a huge financial, like they were married and that person was their $30,000 a month that kept their life afloat and now they don't have that.

And it's adding to your financial situation because that's on you. I would say if someone doesn't work, but they have the. ability to not work or they do work because they want to work or they don't need to work and they do other things, that's great. But if they're showing up with this huge, huge financial thing, like, can you please take over my 25 grand a month of payments, that's probably going to get some people a little bit, a little bit unsure of it gives somebody pause. Yeah, that would give somebody pause.

But outside of somebody having a financial crisis that needs solving, I don't think people care if somebody works or doesn't. But I have found, and I don't know, I've just been listening to a bunch of interviews lately, and maybe it's like the girlfriends that I hang out with. I feel like I am seeing a lot of women that, yes, they want to meet somebody, but they don't want it to be their everything. You know, they're not looking for a traditional life or somebody that they want to spend necessarily all their time with because they do have other interests, especially when all of a sudden you're 50,

you have a lot of years, right? And you've developed kind of your own life and especially if you've been divorced for a while. But I feel like I'm seeing more and more women who are like, yeah, I really want to meet somebody but I don't know necessarily how much I want to compromise. And I think some of the men that I see out there that these women, or we are lucky and fortunate enough to connect with,

they seem to want more, like more attention and are a little more needy, and I'm not necessarily, it doesn't really gel. Well, that might be specific to the two of you that the men are just saying, look, it's going well, and they're just trying to, you know, get more of you. But, yeah, I think if a man is confident in his own skin

and he's going to feel the vibe and the pace that the woman wants, if she's feeling like two days a week is perfect, like you're if you don't pick up on those clues you're probably not paying attention and if you're like well no we have to see each other six days a week it's like go back to the pool it's like go back to the pool so you think they're both they're men that want the two days a week and they're men that want the yeah i think there's plenty of people that are happy to have an independent person with a full life that wants to hang out a couple days a week you're you know everyone's person is out there so when you're dating somebody new what are some of the women's interest that

you think are sexy versus something that potentially be a turnoff to you? Well, I'm going to go in reverse order and start with the turnoffs. I would say if the only hobbies they can come up with are shopping, travel, and I'm a foodie, I like to go out and eat and drink, those I would say don't really count because we all eat and drink and we all travel and we all buy stuff. So I don't think if somebody, if that's someone's list, I would say that's a bit of a red flag. Like, you, you should have other things besides that. So that's kind of the red flag list.

In terms of, I don't know, what's sexy. I think just somebody who has, who's passionate about stuff and has interest, and it's not just TV or whatever. They want to, they want to do things. I'm obviously, I'm kind of an outdoorsy person, so I like people that are active and do some active stuff. like people that, you know, read and are in book clubs. So I don't think it matters what you're into as long as you're into something and hopefully some of them overlap. But yeah, don't say

shopping, travel and eating out. I would say stay away from that. When you're on a date or you've gone on a few dates, what is your feeling on sharing the bill, paying the bill? Like, what do you think is kind of like the financial at different ages? Obviously, it's different, right, in different generations. But you are a guy who dates age appropriate, right? You've raised children. What is your feeling on that? Yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's because I'm in my 50s, but I would say for me,

you should be picking up the first and second date, the man, so I'm a little old school that way. That answer works for us. We don't, we believe in chivalry. I don't get it. Look, I very, you know, women are equals and powerful, but at the same time, you get a chance to be a man and take care of someone on a date that you've asked them out. Like, I don't see, if you don't want to pay for the first or second date,

you've asked out the wrong person. That's my view. I mean, J.D., I feel like we should clone you. Like, your answers are amazing. Again, if you ask someone there, thank you. If you ask someone in their 20s who's living in their parents' basement, that might say, they might say. For sure, it's a different thing at different age.

For sure. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Well, wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up.

Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not?

To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, it's Honey German. And my podcast, Grasas Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities.

You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't audition in, like, over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators,

and culture shifters, sharing their real stories of failure and success. You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing Vibras you've come to expect. And, of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles,

and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know, I'm me. But the whole pretending and cold, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas has come again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network on the IHartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex.

No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special Bestie and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here. Today we have a very,

special guest with us, our new super secret bestie is the diva of the people. The deep of the people. I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. That's us.

My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club. as a part of the Marco Tura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced.

He said, you are a number, a New York state number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term. highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning.

Nobody tells you anything. to shock incarceration on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not, like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear.

The 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, what about, like, how heavy do you go in terms of conversation when you first start dating somebody, i.e. politics, you know, I don't think you, I don't know anyone who got on their credit score. But, like, you know, like, what's your, what's your comfort level?

with like when you first meet somebody in terms of like, okay, let's start high. And it doesn't maybe even make sense to ask these questions until I really know or we get deeper into a relationship. Or do you like to vet people out quickly? Yeah, it's a good question. I mean, I think some of that stuff's going to come out anyway. I was, I was on a first day with someone I didn't ask about their politics, but it came out anyway. And then I didn't choose a second day with the person. So I don't I don't really have a rule for that. I would say, you know, conversations go where they are. And I usually just try to let them flow.

If there's something you really need to know, like if I was a woman who was 35 who wanted kids, I might on the first or second date say, hey, what are your thoughts about kids? Like I, but I don't personally have, I think, I think things are going to come out. People are going to tell you about themselves. That's the whole point. And, but yeah, I, although now. Now, lately, I think I'd be curious about, if I haven't figured out the politics by the second date, I might ask because it is becoming a little bit more of a divisive issue. And if it didn't come out naturally, I might ask.

Okay. So politics is important to you. I mean, it's for people's political use. It is. It doesn't necessarily matter. Well, yeah, it matters how open-minded someone is politically versus maybe how far they are to the extreme. That does matter to me. What about debt?

Them having debt? Yeah, people have debt. Maybe that goes up there with shopping. If she's a shopper, she doesn't. I don't think it minds if somebody has a little bit of debt. Well, as long as the expectation is you're not cleaning up the debt. Yeah, if somebody's in full financial crisis, that's fine. If they came out of a divorce and they lost and their business went under and they're in debt, that's fine.

I think it's more an issue of somebody who's like, I have this lifestyle. I want to maintain it. And would you please maintain it? As long as someone doesn't say something like that, you could say, hey, my business just went under. I'm 100 grand in debt. Or I got a divorce, but it's not this reckless spending that basically led to. Right. I got out of divorce and I'm in debt because of that.

But it'll all work itself out. I don't think that's, I don't think that's attractive or unattractive. It's, it's not, I don't think it's an issue unless you're really saying, please take on my, my golf club and my yacht club and my shopping allowance. And that's pretty transparent. usually with those girls, right? I think so. But yeah, so I don't think being in debt or being wealthy or not wealthy for men is an issue at all.

I don't, it's not even on the top 20. Well, I would say, though, that, you know, the last person that I dated, we both said that we felt fortunate because we both had the luxury to be able to travel, right? Because if somebody can't do some of the same things that you can at a certain point, right, before you're truly committed, that can limit what one person can do or it puts the burden all on somebody else. It could, but at the same point, if I have the means to travel 10 times as much as the other person, then why am I not just picking up their travel bill? Like, I mean, if you're like, I want to travel every month, the other person's like, well, I can afford to do it every year. Go on six trips. Right, go on six trips.

Like, pay for three or four their trips. Like, I don't, I, if you're that much more fortunate, then share with the person that you want to spend time with. So I don't know. I don't see that as a big, a big issue. I think if somebody works, if they opened up an Airbnb in a restaurant and they work 100 hours a week, that's more of an issue if you're not getting. time with them, right? You might... Right, right.

Yeah. And so in terms of attraction, though, what would you say your top three qualities that you look for in a woman and a potential love interest? Yeah, that's a good one, but a tough one. I would say, I mean, there's some basic physical attraction that someone is within your age group and, you know, it is not 40 years older or 40 years younger. But assuming that you have some attraction and you're not... unattracted to somebody.

I think for me it would be, yeah, I mean, like playful sense of humor, not taking themselves too seriously. I think somebody with that kind of positive energy is very attractive. Someone who is, well, I'm starting to think about the negatives, so I'm just going to go with the positive. Well, you can say the negative, though your top three negatives, I'd be curious though. I would say, you know, people that are super critical or, or very controlling are probably the two things that I would be the least attracted to.

I think people who have kind of a positive comfort in their own skin, they're playful, they have a good sense of humor. Confidence is super attractive. I mean, confidence and personality are probably the two biggest things, I would say. For me, for attraction, I mean, that is it. We talked about authenticity earlier. I mean, that comfort and ease in yourself, not taking yourself or life too seriously, all of that authenticity part is huge. Yeah, for me, per se, again, guys may have a different list, but for me, it's, it's, that's at the very top.

And then obviously some, it's, it's nice to have a physical attraction to somebody that they're, they're not, you know, they're not, you know, 30 years older or 30 younger. They're not hard to look at. Yes. It'd be nice if they were easy on the eyes. but that's great. That's a plus. I also think laughing and lightheartedness and levity and the ability to banter is important too.

And I found that a lot of the people that I have dated lately, you know, tend to be a little more serious and it's kind of hard. And I find that that is tough for me when I'm dating people and there isn't that kind of humor, lightness. And that's, it's tough for me. And what I've learned is if you start out kind of not funny, you don't get funnier, right? I don't know. So that's something.

That's tough. Wait, I wanted to ask something before I forget, back to the conversation about kids and everything. What do you do when you meet somebody and you're dating them and they are estranged from their children? because I was dating somebody who had lost custody of his kids. And I have to tell you, it was a really big red flag for me because my children are everything. And nothing is more important than my relationship with them. Yeah. I mean, it is a red flag.

I think if you've gone on a couple dates and you're still interested in the person and you're attracted to who they are and the connection is still growing, somewhere around the second or third date you're going to ask them like what happened like how did it how did it go down because you're going to want to know was it did you have did you have a spouse that cut you out of you know did they figure out some way to cut you out of the picture and then you know you got you had a hard time getting back in or did you know sleep with her best friend or the assistant or like like you're going to want to know the story and i wouldn't necessarily find it out on day, you know, first or second date. But by the third date, like, hey, tell me about your kids. Like, and you're going to want to know what the hell. And that might

even be a second. I mean, it's really more of a second day thing. But yeah, but it doesn't, being a strange doesn't necessarily mean the person is a bad person. For sure, but there is a story there. Yeah, but you need to know the story. You got to find out of time. Well, I guess along those lines, a bit of a segue, but kind of on topic is, you know, when you're 20 or 30, I think you look at somebody's family to help kind of get a better idea of maybe their values or just to get, again, a better lens and view into like what they might be or become. How important do you think people's friends or family or things like that are now that we're like 40 or 50, right? Because it's different. Like a lot of it's a one-on-one relationship. So does that still matter or does it not?

agree. I think, well, I will say I think friends matter a lot. I think that is huge. I think family matters very little because they didn't get to pick their family. And so for me, I rate that very low and I rate the friends thing very, very high. You are who you surround yourself with. Yeah. So that's it. I mean, I know people whose parents are an absolute nightmare and they are the loveliest person in the world. So what, I mean, who, why does it matter? Okay. Superficial question. So Louise and I talk about this when you're traveling. Okay. This is back to like the first, first attraction that you might have when you're traveling or in an airport. You see a girl. If she's like in a cozy sweatsuit versus, you know, she's a little more done up and like got

an official outfit on, what are your thoughts? Yeah, it's interesting. If it's a weekday, I might think she's just come from work and it's not a big deal. But if somebody's really dressed up on a weekend, it could be a little bit of a red flag. I don't mean like she's like high maintenance with all her designer bags. I mean more like a put together outfit. Like, is it okay to travel in a sweatsuit? I don't know.

I don't think it matters. If a woman is, if a woman is attractive to you, it's. It's not going to matter what she's wearing. I mean, somebody could look really cute in sweats and someone could look terrible, all dressed up. So there's no, I don't know. Belma travels and looks like a million bucks. And I look literally like a slumper and a sweatsuit.

And my one friend said to me once, she goes, you ain't going to meet a guy at the airport when you look like that. I think it was me. Now, a few people have said that. I don't leave my house that much. Tracy said it to me. She's like, I really think you should change the outfit. it when you fly.

I don't think it matters if it sweats as long as they're not, if they're 30-year-old sweats with holes in them and they need to be washed. No, it's like a matching cute track suit and like a, right? Yeah, I think that, I think tracksuits and like whatever. Leggings. And a cute pair of tennis shoes or running shoes can be very attractive. Like I don't,

I don't think it matters, like you said. As long as you're not wearing something that needs to be donated to the goodwill, I think it's fine. Okay, fine. You're not my guy. Yeah, look. the odds are there's million out there you know i may not be the one do you have friends for us no pressure i don't well if i list them on this call then you have to delete it

you're awesome and you're super textured and you're really you seem really healthy and you give thoughtful answers and very communicative and um you know emotionally mature and healthy like this has been a really informative conversation and I'm definitely learning a lot. I've enjoyed it a lot and I have other tips and tricks out there if you want more. But I would say one I'll leave you with is when the guy says where do you want to go, say surprise me. That is very, very sexy because you have now shown him you don't need to be in control and that you trust him. and that if he can't handle picking a restaurant, he's the wrong guy. So you've just basically honored him, and now he gets to surprise you.

Like, that is a very sexy first move. Just want to leave you with that. So you should write a book, and you should be given, IHeartRadio should give you your own podcast. Well, thank you. That's very kind of you. I'm just honored to be on this one. Thank you for having me. So nice to have met you.

Yeah, very cool. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you both. And I don't think either of you're going to have any trouble. Your listeners are going to learn a lot. Bye, J.D. Bye. That was amazing to get a man's perspective.

I feel like we learned so much from this conversation today. And I know a lot of the things that we discussed, I'm definitely going to put it into action. So for all of you out there, if you have a question or need some advice from a single man, email or call us. All the info is in the show notes. Go ahead and follow us on socials.

Make sure to rate and review this podcast. I do part two, an I heart radio podcast. We're falling in love is the man. an objective. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Smokey the bar.

Then you know why Smokey tells you when he sees you passing through. Remember, please be careful. It's the least that you can do. Because it's what you desire. Don't play with matches. Don't play with five. After 80 years of learning his wildfire prevention tips, Smoky Bear lives within us all.

Learn more at smokybear.com. And remember, Only you can prevent wildfires. Brought to you by the USDA Force Service, your state forester, and the Ad Council. The U.S. Open is here. And on my podcast, good game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players,

the predictions, the pressure. And, of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential, sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain and IHart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHart Women's Sports Network. Culture eats strategy for breakfast, right?

On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Valicia Butterfield, media founder, political strategist, and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman. From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys, Valicia's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get

your podcasts. Hey, I'm Kurt Brown-Oller. And I am Scottie Landis and we host Bananas, the podcast where we share the weirdest, funniest, real news stories from all around the world. And sometimes from our guest's personal lives too. Like when Whitney Cummings recently revealed, her origin story on the show. There's no way I don't already have rabies. This is probably just why my personality is like this. I've been surviving rabies for the past 20 years. New episodes of bananas drop every Tuesday in the exactly right network. Listen to bananas on

the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast.