The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Meet the Parents

Episode Date: March 6, 2025

There's nothing quite like having your parents around! Amy & David Higgins step-up to the mic to give their perspective watching their son become a father and give some insight into his opposite of spoiled upbringing.    @almost_famouspodcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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We are here today with a very special episode. We have two people very close to me and my life. My parents are joining us today, Dave and Amy Higgins, the newest grandparents of Winona, Elaine Higgins. I am an only child, Ashley, to remind everybody. And so this, like, I'm their one and only shot at having a kid. Grandchild. Oh, and kid.

I'm having a kid. But, yeah, you're a grandchild. We are here in Evergreen, Colorado today because my parents have been out here. They came out five days before when he was born. We had, like, the last five days together got to hang out. And then they rented an Airbnb through the month. So they're here for another week, helping out around the house. We remodeled a bathroom.

We'll talk about all this stuff we've been up to, obviously hanging out with Winnie a ton. It's been an amazing time. So we're going to break down, I think, today, according to the notes that I have, what it's like to be grandparents. I know. This is so exciting.

We've been talking to Ben so much, but I had no idea you guys were staying there for the entire month or you were there before the baby was born. I love that idea. That's great for grandparents that live out of state. I, but hello, hello, and welcome to the podcast. Mr. Mrs. Higgins. It's so lovely to have you.

Thanks for having. It's good to see you, Ashley. Good to see, too. You guys are so sweet. And I'm so happy that your grandparents, yeah. Like Ben said, I do feel like it almost adds a little special element being that you do have an only child that like now you kind of have your second child in a way. In a grandchild. Tell us about the story in which Ben told you that. you were going to be grandparents. Well, that is David's, let him tell that story because Kai, it was great. Yeah, so back around Father's Day, we drove out here in our RV.

And when we hit Ben and Jess's house, we went in the house and we were probably not even in the house for no more than five minutes, actually. And Jess goes, I want to see the RV. So we go out and she presents me with a Father's Day card. and I'm going to mess up probably the verbiage of it, but the key was you're not only a great father.

You're not only a great father. You're also a great grandfather. There'll be a great. Not a great grandfather. And I looked there and go, are you telling me something, girl? And she goes, yep. And then everything went south from there.

Oh, my gosh. I love that. Oh, that's awesome. How in the loop were you about them trying to conceive? Oh, I mean, we knew when, kind of the timeline of when they thought they wanted to start trying. And then we knew, you know, a lot about the just things that went into to that. And, you know, not a lot of detail, but we knew they were actively trying. And so, you know, we were patiently waiting for that big news.

someday and yeah no it was great actually i don't know if your parents were this way and maybe it's just a memory i made up my head but i felt like like in in the most healthy way possible they've wanted to be grandparents since i was like a child like i feel like they all like they had a kid to be grandparents that was well my mom was definitely like you're biological clock but i want to be a grandma you know like once i was in my upper 20s she and then you know you know she was always like, why do you want to wait another like two years, you know, blah, blah, blah, when we were married. It's like, mom, chill out. Yes.

She was very eager. My dad honestly didn't like give a crapola, but then when the kids were here, my dad was very excited about them. So, guys, I need to know about how Ben has been as a dad so far. Is he fitting the exact mold as you imagined? you know I never had a doubt yeah none of us did but I just couldn't believe it like even the very first time we met Winona at the hospital and she needed a diaper change I mean this boy picked her up took her right over started in told me all about the proper ways that you were supposed to clean a big girl up and be careful over umbilical cord you know and just was

diapering this brand new baby up and I just was I was just thrilled I knew he was born for it good you know I mean he's just he's just such a tender person anyway so no it didn't surprise me at all that he jumped right in there but it was it was just too sweet to see I'll tell you I had to watch a lot of videos it's front to back just let everybody know when you have a baby girl you have to make or you go front to back on wiping. Yes. Guys, have you been, how was your role been at the house? I know you're probably trying to balance that delicate line that is like being helpful

but not being overbearing. Yeah. How do you think we've managed that? I think pretty well, you know, it was very interesting. When we first got back from the hospital, Ben and just invited us over, and they kind of had this plan, this daily plan. as far as here's the feeding, here's the quiet time, here's when we need some help. So they did a really great job laying that out.

And like Ben said, you know, we had some projects to do, a bathroom we model, that type of thing. So it was really well planned by those two. And it made it easy. I have to say, I was so thankful after the first, the couple first days that the kids took guesswork out of it for us so that we didn't feel like awkward and what do we do with ourselves they set out a really nice timeline and I really appreciated it because it's worked really I think it's worked really well and we've been very productive we've got a lot of great things done and and I think for me a lot of it has just been that freedom to know

not only what our expectations they expected from us, but just to be able to spend enough time that we can watch the two of them as new parents. And I'd tell you, Jessica and them both are just rocking it. I can't be more proud of them. Quote, Jess, they're crushing it. They're crushing it. There is a, you know, when we got home,

so originally, Ashley, about a month ago, I had this really solid thought in my head. I want to spend the first two nights without anybody coming over at home. Well, that didn't really work out because Jess's family, based on when we had Winnie, their last day in Denver was the day we got home from the hospital. And like, we're not going to tell them, hey, sorry, don't come over. We want them over. And so they came over.

And then that night, Jessica and I sat and talked and said, hey, what do we want out of these first couple weeks? And part of that was, okay, we want a few days, just us to kind of get and start getting into that routine of what it's going to look like. But we also want people around because that's really fun to like experience. And so we set up like a schedule because I think the best communication is the clearest communication. It also is very important to note that my family does not sit well, ever. And so we had to have a project. And so we did. We remodeled a bathroom.

in the course of this month that's great uh that they help with and so it's gone really great i mean they've gotten good time with winnie they've gotten to get the memories of seeing you know us start to become parents and then also we've gotten a lot done around the house that's going to be really helpful for us for the future that's perfect you guys had the right mentality super quality time with whalen and yeah and and the dog we've no ben what's your relationship with wailen now because I told him, I was like, you are going to, of course, love Wayland still, but he will no longer be your baby. You were wrong.

It's closer than never. And that's just because he's so obsessed with winning. Yeah. It really is because he's made it so easy. Like, he's been the best dog to her. He licks her in the morning. He licks her at night. That's so cute.

And then he kind of leaves her alone the rest of the day. But if she naps on the couch and her, like, uh, sleepy, pillow thing. She lays his head right next to hers and falls asleep too. That's so cute. I just like, and so nowadays, like my, we have a very similar routine. We want to get him out. So I walk with him a lot. Whereas I'm so proud of that, dude. He's the best. Yeah, that's really sweet of him. My name is Ed. Everyone say hello, Ed. From a very rural background myself, my dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

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like go back in time and give yourself advice about parenting what would it be um i know this is like a huge vague question but or not just me anybody listening to yeah of course to like anybody yeah okay um i think for me i'm not speaking for david but um for me i and it's been one of my things, even when we were raising Ben, was to not only just do your best to raise a healthy human, but to be willing to kind of be patient and struggle through what it takes to raise an individual. So give your child, even as a newborn even, the opportunity to um kind of learn for themselves the things that they like or to um explore different options and have conversations to have a healthy environment to agree or disagree and um you know i think

that starts early on even you know and uh so for me that's i just always wanted to make sure that I was raising a child who learned to know themselves. So I don't know about you. Well, it's been fun to witness it from our aspect because Ben and Jess have just absolutely done a great job. And, you know, one of the things that I would encourage them to do is to live in the moment because these moments are so special right now. Yeah.

And it goes fast. And, yeah, we know. you know how it is that fast as ever it goes really really fast so i think what they've done at this point in time the foundation that they've laid has been absolutely marvelous and uh it's been fun to witness it really is so sweet the one thing when people say like what what was the differentiator with your childhood you know obviously being an only child um people have their you know assumptions of what life was like growing up. And that was one thing that was always really good about our house was I was never spoiled. You only had balls. I know this. That's the only toy you got. That's the

only toy. No, yeah. I didn't have any tool. I mean, literally, if you asked them, I would say, he had a whole closet full, but. But the, like, I probably was, they went a little like on the opposite of spoiling. Like, it was never this entitlement. You get what you want. You get what you asked for it was um i never grew up feeling like i was owed anything which is i think a really healthy way to grow up because you don't grow up going the world owes me something i think the second side of that which i've always said and they know is there was our house always had open dialogue so hey you know as small as like i don't want to clean my room like why would i clean my room today i'm going to sleep in it tonight um and being able to have those conversations so because

when you're a child, you don't have logic to talk through, you know, respect, cleanliness, hygiene, and, like, be able to have that explain to you other than just demands that some adult gives a child, I think really helps a child, like, get a picture of what works in the world and what doesn't. And then as you get older, you have the ability to still ask those questions and stay curious on why is this the way it is or not. And I think those are two things that always stand out to me that was uniquely different probably than other households. set me up to not be devastated by the world once I, like, got on my own. Aw.

That makes me feel good because I feel like I do that with Dawson now. When I tell him, like, he needs to do something, even if it's as simple as getting dessert after dinner, I'm like, okay, so let me explain to you the situation. And that makes me feel like, oh, I'm doing, I'm using a little Higgins family tidbit. I love it. guys what was the hardest age to parent been at other than teen don't like I think because everybody will say teen everybody we asked this to says teenage years and I think that's unfair because sometimes boys are different almost all girl parents say that teenage years are

the hardest but sometimes boy parents are when they're younger Amy David well I know for me my hardest parenting times were six months to 12 12 months. Okay. Before he was walking, he weighed too much. Thank you for validating my feelings on this. Yeah. I just was like, man, this is ridiculous.

He can't do anything for himself. He's so needy. He's heavy. His child has to learn to walk. My back is breaking. And it really wasn't until he started to walk that I thought, oh, hallelujah. I'm going to survive. So.

Okay. Because that's where I'm at now. I even apologize to him. in yesterday because he's seven months and I do find that hard I would say I think you're probably right with the six months to a year I sometimes say like four months to like 10ish when they start crawling I feel like I was like apologizing to him because I was like I'm sorry that your brother gets interacted with all day long it's just like you're at this weird age where we don't know what to do with you like am I supposed to just like jingle toys at you you can't move you have to

stay in one place all day. You don't understand anything. You have absolutely zero independence. So thank you. I do think this is the hardest stage because they're very cognizant to what's going on around them. However, they can't really interact. I agree. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. How about you, Derek? Well, I would say probably more along the lines when junior high probably hits. Yeah. I mean, but you know, that's when all the guys show up at the house and crazy stuff. Stuff starts going on and sleepovers are happening and mom and dad get very few hours

of sleep because a lot of stuff's going on down the basement. And, you know, that was probably a difficult time for me personally because I was pretty regimented. And you're still working. Yeah. Yeah. And I'd say probably that period of time. It goes fast, right, though?

I mean, the way, like, I think when you're in it, I think the perspective, like they said, enjoy the moments are something I'm learning already, because when he turns three weeks old today, which is not old, but it's three weeks feels like it's flown by. Yeah. That's 21 days of waking up and seeing her face. Aw. But then you think about, like, middle school and how hard that has to be on a parent, right? You have, like you said, sleepover's not getting much sleep. The kids are starting to get into things they should not be getting into. but that goes by in two years and then that's done and then all of a sudden you're on your

you know fast track to high school to college and then off and run it and so I think there is always this really important lesson of perspective of time even in the midst of like these crazy seasons yes is there anything that Ben has been stressing over already or you foresee him stressing over in the future that you just having gone through it you are like no no no please son do not stress over that oh there's something already she's looking at him laughing it's just hysterical because when they first been talked about having babies maybe even before he and just were married he's like well i just can't raise a girl there's just no way i can't raise a girl And I said, do you realize by saying that, you're going to have like four girls now?

I think they're going to have all girls. And I'll tell you what. And immediately, I can't imagine anything but this boy at this moment having a little girl. I mean, she is, he love, I mean, it's just all over his face, how much he just loves watching her. And she already, you know, likes to snuggle on his chest. and it's just and he's going to be great no matter what babies he has

but he literally was like stressing over the fact of having a girl and now already I can see it going this is amazing I have a little girl yeah he paints he paints the nursery right off the bat a total pink I'm like oh you'll be fine oh he is Danny Tanner

okay he's gonna have like three girls plus and he's gonna act just as a wonderful and wholesome with them and be the perfect guide to life, just as Danny was. The interesting thing, Ashley, Jessica and I were talking about this last night when I told her that they were going to jump on the show today. You know, we did this episode with just Jess and I

a few days before when he was born. And we kind of, I think at the end, you asked this questions, who's going to stress more, who's going to, you know, worry more and all this stuff. And we answered those as honestly as we could. I will say, Jessica, like, and I think I said this right away,

but it's making more sense. me now like she's changed in the best of ways like the only most beautiful of ways the most like i'm so just like proud to be her husband excited to be her husband but like she is all over it and when i say all like they can see this like jessica was somebody who was fairly aloof in like her daily life but always so intelligent but like would forget random things at the house or you know not see something that was on the floor something's changed side of that person. Like she is on top of it. She knows when he's so well. She cares for when he's so well. We started today a new ritual where just has to leave the house by herself

for 20 minutes, just for 20 minutes to like start getting in the like the muscles to leave because she is like she is so in love and so a tune that if not like I don't I don't know what it would look like, but I haven't had to worry. Like, I haven't had to stress. Like, every thing is, like, one step ahead all day long. Aw, that's so awesome. I love that. I wouldn't expect anything less from her.

That is exactly what I pictured. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season, we're leveling up.

Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here! Today, we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is the diva of the people. The diva of the people. I'm just like, text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself.

Okay. That's us. We're good at the heck. That's us. My name is Curley And I'm Maya In each episode We'll talk about love, friendship

Heartbreaks, men And of course, our favorite secrets Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club As a part of the My Cultura podcast network Available on the IHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast Hi, I'm Jenna Lopez And in the new season of the Overcover podcast

I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard.

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Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost. always need to be told.

I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A foot washed up a shoe with some bones in it. They had no idea who it was. Most everything was burned up pretty good from the fire

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on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you guys could give Ben and Jess some advice as to how to get through these first couple years of parenting, as a couple because this can kind of be a tum it's not a tumultuous time but a time where it's just it can be rough on a relationship what how was it for you and how what kind of advice can you give to him well first of all i mean don't i guess i don't know how to say this don't forget who your first covenant of love is with yeah um

And that that person, even though it sounds harsh, always comes first because it all started with that first promise. And so figure out how you can do your date nights. I'll tell you, Ben was five months old, and David and I left on a four-day cruise together, just to have some time. I mean, it was, you know, it wasn't hardly four days. Jared and I went to paradise when Dawson was five days. months old yeah there you go and and don't shame yourself for that don't feel bad about that find

your healthy place to let your child spend with your parents or whoever it might be let it go and go be with the person that helped you make that baby and celebrate yourselves um i don't know what do you and we've done that our whole life i mean david and i have ritually even 42 years later still date regularly so yeah you know our situation was such it took us many years seven yeah many years and in a lot of effort just to be able to have one child and in the midst of a lot of other yeah in the midst of a lot of other stuff that happened in our life but you know it's such a godsend it's such a blessing to be able to have a child and really that partnership to be able I mean you know you dream about it and

then when it finally happens, there's just natural thing that happens. And I don't know. I sit back and it's been a blessing for three weeks to watch Ben and Jess. Because when Ben can read Jess, you can tell if Jess is the point where, oh, I need a little bit of help, Ben's there. If it's the other way around, Jess is there for Ben. And it's been fun to watch that. It really has been. And it takes me back to the days when we were together as a partner with a little kid, raising a baby. Yeah, we're still there 42 years. So, but it's been fun to watch.

It really has been. I think, Ashley, I always knew, I don't know how to say this. Oh, I do what I would say. Like, I was always their child and I always felt loved, but I always knew their relationship to each other was different than their relationship to me growing up. Like, it was never a question to me on how they saw each other or what did come first. Not that I felt like I came second, but that their relationship was, you know, a priority. And also, I think as a child, and I know you felt this way, Ashley, I think seeing your parents still date is such a cool thing. Like, you know, you might cry because they leave you and you're sad.

Yeah, I hated it, but like, I know what you're talking about. like you look back on it now as a married person you're looking at it going that was a beautiful like that's a beautiful lesson that i was like taught was that they still need their time together and then i wasn't always involved in that do you know it's hilarious is that when jared i hug or kiss dawson goes oh and it's kind of nice to see that reinforcement that like he's three but he still appreciates the sweetness.

Yeah. That's so good. And then a lot of times we would do that. And then after David and I had our moment of kissed or whatever when he come on for work, then we go family hug. Family hug. Oh, yeah. Family hug. You know, and everybody would get their little sugar.

Yeah, we still do that with Wayland. We still. You should keep that up too. We need to do that more with Lois. Yeah. Okay. My, my, I want to throw it over to you, Ben. you can ask your parents in the next couple minutes as we wrap up questions that you think

that you have for them that should be broadcast to everyone yeah i mean i think that you asked all the i mean i really was interested in the like keeping your relationship a priority i think they have great lessons to teach everyone on that because they've done it and they've been married for 42 years and so that was really where i wanted to go with it i think there's two things that i want to ask really one question and the one thing I want to solve to talk about. The question is when you set a child up with a firm foundation for the future, so like when he's three weeks old, she doesn't really understand life at all. But she will.

Dawson's three. He's starting to understand life. What? Like when you looked at how this child was being molded, taught, what they were listening to from the outside world that they would accept or what they would push away, like how did you guys navigate those conversations on what? how you should build up a child with that foundation. Well, I think for me, no matter what you want to call it,

whether it be a faith or a moral standards or whatever, that as we were teaching been things that we felt formed firm foundations for life, that we weren't just teaching him that we weren't just taking him to Sunday school and then coming home and doing our thing, that had to be modeled. So whatever it is that you're choosing to use to build a foundation, a firm foundation with your child,

for your child, for the future, it needs to be modeled. So for me, that was important. It didn't always look pretty. There was failures in that, but there was also in the midst of the failures.

There was a lot of honesty. I learned early on, I know David did too. I have typed out proof of it that sometimes you have to say you're sorry. Even as a parent, you have to say you're sorry to your child when you know you screwed up or when things just didn't work out, whatever. So for me, it was just modeling what I felt was important to build a foundation for my child. I will agree with all that.

And I think at the same time, to be able to be everybody, best friends. Because, you know, you sit back and you think about the times, I remember taking Ben to a golf course with little golf clothes, about this long, and all of a sudden I see my son down the sand trap hitting a beautiful shot on the ninth hole, and everybody out of the clubhouse comes out and starts clapping. And from a father's standpoint, I just beamed. But, you know, you create a lot of special moments as you're young. that transfer throughout the lifetime. And, you know, just Sunday, Ben and I walk the golf course together.

And, you know, you just sit back and you think about how you're planting all those seeds and how it takes off and it finally grows into something so magical later on down the road. Yeah. And just to play off of that, I do feel like David and I were very intentional. I'm sure Ben can validate this on building a village around our son. we had a really strong community of people, whether that be our neighbors that we became friends with, whether it would be a, you know, church family, coaching, just we made sure that there were a lot of people in Ben's life that could fill a gap where we were not necessarily gifted in certain things like strong discipline or, yeah, you know, just anything. And so I really feel like we were very intentional about building a village. around our family.

Yeah, I never grew up as an only child ever feeling like we didn't have people around us. And I also say, you know, it's something like our family was built on a firm foundation of faith. And so everything spurred from that. And so, you know, every relationship, every activity, every way we like process a difficulty, an illness, whatever that may be, it was always coming from that place. And so for us, I think to answer that, I would have to say, like, the foundation was built on faith in Jesus. And then when it comes to life, I think the community that was gathered around, you know, pushed us all in some type of direction, you know, and we never felt alone in that, you know, in that pursuit. And even today, those relationships still exist.

So I think that was always very clear to me and always give me the backing. The final thing, Ashley, I want to talk about today is something that Jessica and I did that I think every child that is having a child should give to their grandparents. Okay? You ready for this? Uh-huh. We bought them grandparent books, both sides. So Jay and Jill and my parents.

And these grandparent books ask questions about their upbringings, about the families, their friendships growing up, what they were into, what they weren't into. And it's about the parents or about like the baby itself? No, about your parents. Oh, okay. So it's a book that my parents write in and respond to with their childhood, with their interest. And then hopefully, you know, once they get done with it, it's called, it's called grandmother. to hear your story. So it's my mom's story. Then my dad has one that says, grandpa, I want to hear your

story. It's not very big. Easy questions. Yeah. And they's really cute. Someday Winnie will be able to look back and read her grandparents' story, you know, when she's 50, 60, 30, 40 years old. Or, yeah, when she's 13 and understand her grandparents better. And so I think it's a really cool gift. They've appreciated it. And I know Winnie will one day too, because I wish I would have it for mine. Oh, wow. No, I got to give us to our, there are sets of grandparents. Yeah. It's worth it. So, hey, I know we're short on time. It's been an awesome episode. Thank you for joining us today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Ashley, you're the best. Thanks for doing this. Good to see, Ashley.

Thank you. So good to see you. Bye. Bye. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcast on IHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD...

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