The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Men Are Not On Pause During Menopause

Episode Date: April 5, 2025

Sex and dating after 50, it’s time to talk about menopause baby! Not only does your outlook change in your second chapter...but so does your body.Cheryl Burke is getting a master class from journalist turned menopause activist Tamsen Fadal on how she found love in her "I Do Part 2" era and navigated menopause in her relationship. Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect.

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It's I Do Part 2. I'm Cheryl Burke, one of your celebrity mentors here on the podcast. And today I'm excited because I'm going to chat with someone who has successfully found love again in their chapter 2. She's an award-winning journalist, author of How to Metapause, Women's Health Advocate and host of her own podcast, The Tampson Show. Everyone, please welcome Tampson Fidel to the podcast. Thank you. So you're in your I do part two.

I am. And I do think it's going well. I like it. I like it. I think it's going well. Let's go back to the I do part one first. Yes. Okay.

Okay, we can do that one. I'm also divorced and I am, I would say, maybe heading that direction to the part two part of things but I'm not dating nor do I have any interest so I don't know if I'm heading that direction but right now I'm dating myself how so your first marriage you guys work together you were matchmakers say more yes yeah there was there was a lot to say yeah you know I met my first husband and I was at an age where I'm like oh my gosh I have to I have to like hustle this up and get married like you know because then I thought there was this real critical timeline I kind of had hit and I was a little bit older than the regular timeline. And so I met him and it was just like

kind of fast and furious. And now we call it maybe love bombing, but then I was like, he must love me a lot. So we got together. We had started a business. We had moved to New York. I was at the time working as a news anchor. And then he was working this business, matchmaking business, called the Love Consultants. And we were having a great time. You know, we were setting people up. We were, you know, socializing. We were, it was, it was wonderful. for a while. And then, you know, it just, I think you realize in some, at some point, like, wow, I feel very lonely in this place. And that's what had happened to me. And I was like, this is not working. And I'm scared now to admit that like, this is not working because now I have

failed. And so that was very worrisome to me for a long time. Eventually, it came to a place where, you know, divorce was the only option. And I went through that and I thought to myself, Oh, my gosh, I'm embarrassed, I'm ashamed. Now I look back and I was like, what was wrong with you? This didn't work out and it's okay. And it really took my father coming to New York visiting me and we took a long walk in the village one day. And he was like, it's okay. You don't always have to win at everything.

Like, it's okay. That's where it is right now. And I felt like it gave me a little bit of grace. And I left that relationship and I was like, I'm never getting married again. I'm never, never, never, never. And then, you know, fast forward. 10 years later. So 10 years.

We were single for 10 years. I was. I went through the divorce separation. I was 41. So it was about, it was 40 actually. It was the separation. So I started at 40 and I got married again at the age of 50. And even that, I was a little like, oh, am I allowed to wear white?

Am I allowed to wear a pretty dress? Can I have a big wedding? And then I was like, you know what? I'm doing all those things. And so it's been pretty amazing. but I really did have that in my mind, like, I'm never doing that again. When you were single, was it like, oh, I feel so lonely, or were you thriving? I did both, you know, I did both.

So I always had remembered, my dad had said he's given me a lot of these one-liners that I'd live by. I love your dad. He's pretty amazing. He's 85 right now, and he's just, he's gone through so much. You know, he lost my mother when they were, you know, at a young age when he was young. And then he lost my stepmother. about three years ago, but to watch how he deals with grief and then moves forward has just been an incredible part of my life. But he had said to me, it's better to be alone than lonely

with somebody. And that was what was happening. I was lonely with somebody. And so when I left that marriage, I had some of those tough times. It was like, oh gosh, this is awful. I feel like I failed. I'm never going to meet anybody. Everybody's coupled up. Everyone's having children. And so I I went through a lot of that struggle for a long time. Like, why didn't it work for me? And then I got to about my mid-40s, like 44, a few years in of, you know, eating pizza with my two chihuahuas on the couch on Friday nights. Sounds like a party to me. I was so, it was great.

We were no Netflix. I guess I don't know what I was watching. Blockbuster. I remember that? Probably Blockbuster. I was probably renting a movie. But, you know, I got to a place from like, okay. I can go out there and enjoy dating again or at least have fun,

but I'm never going to get married again. And that's really what I thought. See, I'm not opposed to that. I'm not opposed to getting married. No. It's just that probably I should date. Like, this is my thing. You should probably get married.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's good. How long since a divorce? Like how long? So it's been almost three and a half years. All right, but that's good. But like I was a serial dater prior to my marriage, meaning like I wasn't single from age 13 till now 40 or no since we got separated so

37 yeah is this oh is it are you is this the first time that you've been like not yeah yeah how do you feel about it and I ghosted everyone like I'm no longer in Los Angeles like it's me and my Frenchie yeah and we have Netflix at least instead of it well Netflix and my addiction to productivity I'm an addict as well I've been sober for six years but like it is an addiction you know just numbing of course of course but um going back to your first marriage how did you believe that working together was one of many issues um definitely one of one of many issues here's what i think the big issue was i think that i didn't realize how important it was to not just have that initial spark but to also be able to want to walk the world with somebody and that's how

i feel about my husband now like i want to walk the world with him and so whatever that means to anybody else but to me it means like this is the this is the person i want by my side and i think then when I got married that first time and we were grinding. You know, we were like, oh, my gosh, we got our job. And as long as this works out and that works out. And we did a reality show together and we did a book together. And what defined success in that relationship was very different than what I have defined success now.

But working together was hard. It was hard to shut it off, you know, because we did a lot of it out of the apartment in New York, which we all know are not big apartments. And that was difficult, you know, it was. And then I also think what was difficult is I didn't know. I knew my value system, but I did know what was really important to me because I'd worked so much. Like, my hustle was always my job. I worked in TV news for a very long time my whole career. And television news is, you know, 24-7 you're kind of on. And you're always worried about the next job and the next job and the success of it all.

And that's what my focus was. And so when it came time to, you know, that I was getting married, I was like, yeah, I think this is the right person. And we would have fun together and it sounds good. I just didn't realize all the other nuances that you really have to pay. attention to during that time. And if I look now, I'm like, wow, I can't even imagine Tampson today could have ever, ever gone into a marriage like that. And so I didn't blame myself them, but I was very aware of what I never wanted to do again. And are you, do you, are you in therapy, or did you do a lot of work? So therapy was a big part of it, taking care of that mental part and really understanding, here's what I needed to understand in therapy. Why did I do that? Why did I do that? And why did I put up with that for so long?

So, you know, I was in a relationship that really had become abusive. And there were pink flags and not quite red yet. And I would look around and I'd be like, okay, this is a problem. But maybe there's a reason for it. And this is probably a problem. But we can talk that one away. And now going back and looking at it, I was like, wow, why did you talk yourself into that? Not out of it, into it.

You're not alone. Yeah. And I did that. And that was what I had to grab. with in therapy. Like why did I talk myself into something that probably at the core I knew was inherently wrong for me? Yeah. Thanks for being so vulnerable. I can totally relate. And yeah, I will be in forever therapy. I was in therapy since I was four until I die. Like it's just so helpful for me just to put a language to it, my feelings, because it's really like you, you know,

I'm addicted to work. And it's just another form of. of a drug that is just more, I guess, accepted in society today, right? It's cheered on. It's revered in some cases. Oh, are you kidding? Yeah. And if you go on vacation, you're just lazy. Yeah. Yeah. How dare you out for a little while? Yeah. Self care. So selfish. Yeah. So selfish of you. You really need that time. You're right. But I really do. Therapy change everything for me. I had an eating disorder when I was younger and I started therapy in my mid-20s.

And so that was always something that really helped me through, obviously, really difficult places, but now it's not an on-off. Now it's an on. And that's what I do. It's not a question of should I or shouldn't I. It's that's a part of my life. And I don't think about it. I just do it. And it's having a language to things is important. Having an understanding of it at the core, because it's not just that one thing. It relates to some of the other areas of your life. For sure. And so you're able to deal with things. I think. in a different way, proactively. Just being aware of it. Just awareness. And sometimes it's like the AA program. It's like one step at a time, one minute, sometimes one minute, sometimes one day. It just depends on the day. It's a daily practice.

It is. And it's what my father told me about grief. I said, how did you deal with this? Like, you've dealt with so much. And he said, it's one day at a time. And that's it. Like, that is it. It's not what happens in a week and what happens in a month and what happens in a year.

And why aren't we here at Christmas? us now, right? That's what we have. And I think it's a precious lesson that a lot of us are learning. I think that I also think we have to be appreciative for this day. I'm sure you're the same way. I was like, oh, someday I'll go on vacation. Someday all, someday, all, someday all. And I was like, oh, this is someday. This is your day. We're in someday right now. And we have to remember that. And if we don't remember, somebody needs to be around us, that reminds us. For sure. For sure. I mean, just like that. Just like that. Just like that.

Wow. Okay. So now, moving into, first of all, congratulations on your book. Thank you. I'm halfway through it, as I told you, prior to this interview. And your Good Morning America interview was amazing. Is it weird to be on the other side now? Now that you're a journalist. It's so funny. You ask me that the teleprompter had like something about a fire in it. Were you about to read it? I was like, oh my gosh, should I be doing something?

I think I got like this feeling of like I think does anybody you want me to take this and then I was like oh no no you're here for your menopause book not for the breaking news fire but it's such an automatic you know reaction to things have any of your older colleagues interviewed you yet yes two of them did I actually went back to my old station where the first incident happened oh right yeah yeah so I worked at a television station New York City WPIX for about 15 years and one night in 20 19, I was anchoring the news like I did every other night. And it was the 10 o'clock newscast. It was live. All of a sudden, I got what I now understood to be a hot flash. Then I didn't know. I didn't have the language. Heart racing out of control. It felt like I was going to fall over. The lights making it even worse. I hear my heartbeat like in my ear. And I said, I'm going to get off the set. So I was let off the set. A coworker realized what was going on. And I just went down to the bathroom floor in the ladies' room. And I got up like 15 minutes later. One of my coworkers was putting like little packs on my head of cold water.

It was two guys, you know, because it was mostly guys at night. So they're like, can we come into the bathroom and help you? And I'm like, yeah, I'm so embarrassed. So anyway, so fast forward. So that happened and that's how I realized I was in menopause because I wound up going to a doctor doing some blood work, not knowing it was menopause. I was like, is it anxiety? I was given antidepressants. It was all these things.

And it turns out I got a note of my patient portal that said, in menopause, any questions? And that was it. That was in my patient portal, four words. That started me on this journey. So I went back to the television. I left my job about a year and a half ago to full-time advocate for women and women's health, work on a documentary that was released about six months ago on PBS called the M Factor, shredding the silence on menopause.

It's not been seen in over 42 countries. So I know the need. I always knew the need was there. Once I started on this journey, I had no idea what that would bring. me, you know, seeing women be helped. And so I wound up going back to the television station where that happened earlier this week. And it was, I don't know, it was just, it would feel right though. It did. It felt so right. Thank you. It felt like, wow, I, I, because I was so scared when I stepped away from my job. My job was everything. I get it. And I was afraid that I would be

irrelevant and that I'd work so hard. What am I doing? And I'm afraid. And I just had a lot of, a lot of fear, you know, wrapped up in like my identity with that. Sure. And so yeah, I went in and it was like that appearance for me, it was great for, you know, whatever to talk about it. But it was, for me, it was reassuring that like I made the right decision. It really, it told me it was all okay. Wow. Yeah. I can, I'm like, have chills because it's the same thing when, you know, I was on Dancing with Stars for so many years. It's like, yeah, I hear you. Yeah. Now what? It's a very scary thing. But you know it's had to be done. But like, even if, you know, If there is, like, now what?

And maybe I don't have the exact answer, but it's like, that's okay. I didn't. You know? I didn't know exactly what I was going to do. All I knew is that's not what I should set up in place. I knew. I was working on the documentary, but we had gotten so many knows. We had no idea where it was going to be.

Was it? Did you invest yourself? I did. Invested myself with the group of women I was working with. And, yeah, and then we had some people come after, you know, come after and help with some different parts of the doc. But yeah, we put our own money into it. We were told there was no interest in a documentary about menopause.

It was a niche audience. One billion women, by the way, are in menopause as of this year. So not too niche. Right. Yeah, no, I really didn't know where the path was going to go. So even if you do, I think it's scary. Like, I don't ever think that we walk away from something that is the only thing that we don't know. Nothing is forever.

And we think it is when we're young. You know, we think it is. And so I think that that's. a lesson I've learned and I've had to learn how to like be okay with you know that movement the unknown the unknown can keep you up at night it's really scary it can keep you up a lot of nights and so even after I left I was like what the hell did I do yeah but now I know like every woman I meet every woman I talk to every screening I see every everybody that comes up and says like look I found a doctor I walked away from the doctor that didn't help me it helped me save my

marriage. Every single one, I'm like, there, there's the sign. There's the moment. There's the movement of women helping each other and helping each other. Absolutely. And so I don't, like, really, like not just the hashtag. Not just like the hashtag. No, like really sitting in a room with 100 women or five women. You know, it's like, it's like, I never understood really what grass movements, you know, I understood them, I understood, but I never was part of anything like that. And now I understand how that happens because there's such a need and an anger and an engagement and an action has to be taken. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam.

Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy?

That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the O'OVell.

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Also, I think we're just so, in a way, built, and it could be generational, obviously, that asking for help, for me at least, from, you know, I was raised by a very, I would say Philippina mother started her own company you know

rags to riches story and she never asked for help you know and when you are kind of observing hustle culture right in front of your eyes

from when you're a little girl that's all you know you know that's that defines success so to undo all those things that's what's hard yeah it's very hard on training there's no rewiring

yeah it's a rewiring and it's also Also, being able to say, like, this is how I'm going to do it. And this is, because everything is very different. The world is different now, right? What we're able to do someplace else. Like, it used to be how to live in New York or L.A., and that was it, right? That's not what it's like anymore.

And so there's ways and different definitions of success. And look, to me right now, success is a balance in my life. It's an understanding of what is important to get me up every morning. I loved my job, but I wouldn't say that I sprung out. out of bed every day and couldn't wait to go, you know, and hated to go to sleep at night. I would say that now I have, I've just realized that untapped, like, whatever it was inside of me that I could never quite feel. You know, I couldn't feel like I loved what I was doing.

People on the outside loved what I was doing. They were like, are you crazy? You work so hard to get this job. Why would you leave this? Oh, that must have been hard. It was very hard. You know, I'm sure you know. It's, it's, but wow, do I realize.

Are you crazy? are those words. Those words are just awful. And I sometimes felt like that, you know. And I do think it's also this time in our lives as women when we look at this as 40 and 50 and 60 and we have been ingrained that like at this age, you know, oh boy, you know, your best years are behind you. And that's just bullshit.

Like that is not, that is not true in any way. You're so right. I get, I am so filled by women that I see doing incredible. and they have, they're amazing. And so they, I feel like I'm like kind of in that title way of women. But your intention, like now you have purpose, you know, like not saying you didn't before. No, no, no, no, but you're right. But that must feel so different.

It feels so different. And somebody, when I first started this conversation, they said to me, like, are you really going to talk about menopause? Like, that is not a career, you know, that's not great for your career because age and youth were all the revered things for a long time. And so I really, I was like, what? You're a woman telling me that. Like, how are you saying that?

But I knew that's what has been ingrained in our society for so long. What's been ingrained is that our best years are behind us and that we only matter if we're having children. We've been ingrained with so many of these belief systems and that if we ask for help that we're weak and if we don't suffer through it or if, you know, somebody, I was just at an event and a woman got up and we were talking about solutions for menopause and perimenopause, and she said, how bad do I have to feel before I pull the trigger and take hormone therapy? And I said, how bad do I have to feel? Like, what's enough pain

for me to go through before I decide to help myself? But that's what all of our words have been in our minds. Yeah. And so I... Especially with not a lot of education. I mean, like, listening, I was listening to the audible version. I drove from L.A. to San Francisco the other day, and I was just shocked and my jaw dropped to the floor of my car. And literally when you said that even doctors have zero education. Yeah, yeah. By their own admission. They're like, I got two weeks, one month, two days.

And for the patient, it's kind of like, well, you know, I've always thought, because I, you know, I'm not a doctor, obviously. But I got my, I went through my menstrual cycle at age nine. and I'm still on birth control, and I have been since I was 16, 17. I'm not sexually active. I'm on birth control for other reasons. Sure. And I went into my yearly checkup.

I went to go see a new OPEGYN because I moved. And when I asked her about paramedopause, she's like, I can't check because you're on birth control. I'm like, what do you mean you can't check? Like, you need to check. Wait, what do you even need to check? What are you checking? What are you checking?

What does that even mean? Like, do I have to go inside me to check? No, no, right? These are symptoms. Symptoms. Right. Symptoms. Like, you can read and put your hand up and say if I've got five of these symptoms.

And here's what perimenopause is. Perimenopause is the time before menopause. That's what it is. Right. Period. Right. Like, you still have your period. In fact, as a matter of fact.

I haven't had mine for like 10 years, but that's a choice because of mine was so bad. Of course. But I'm saying up till, you know, now menopause is when you, you have, you know, 12 months without your cycle. But if you are dealing with, I don't feel like myself anymore, those words. If you are dealing with brain fog where you're in the middle of something and you stop being able to understand what it is and you're reaching for words, if you are the person that used to sleep at night and it was amazing and now you can't fall asleep or stay asleep.

If you are dealing with a body that is changing and you're eating the same and you're exercising maybe even more and you don't know why. Joint pain. Obviously, irregular periods for some women. These are the symptoms of menopause. Estrogen receptors are all over our body. And if you are in that age range, which is the average age of menopause is, well, yeah, the average age of menopause is 51, so back that up. So you started with hormone fluctuations. That's basically what that means. It can be in your 30s, right up into your 40s. So if you just back up the timeline and say perimenopause of the years of, you know, four to seven to ten years, then it makes sense that in your late 30s, into your 40s, you're most likely perimenopause.

So now the question is, do you have symptoms that you need to have treated? So birth control, obviously, is, you know, you're not going to get pregnant with birth control. Having sex either, so that helps. That's also another form of birth control. But if you look at hormone therapy, which a lot of people question, it only has a third to, a third to a fifth of the dose of what Earth Control has in terms of estrogen. So I'm not a doctor either, but I've learned all these facts because most doctors aren't talking about these things.

And that's the reason I wrote the book. That's the reason I did the documentary because we're going into doctors asking for help and a lot of them have not been trained and it's not their fault. But like I'm not going to look like until I read your book, but like I'm not going to go and go out of my way to find another OBGYN. Like it's not necessarily because like, yes, I have some. symptoms, but I'm also a dancer. So do I have joint pain? Yes, from pushing celebrities around the dance floor. Absolutely. From pushing like football players. Yeah, that don't move. That, I mean,

of course I have arthritis, right? And then as far as sweats go, like, yeah, I mean, whenever I'm active, I was always that dancer that sweats so, like, never smelled, but I sweat. Oh, body loaders another symptom. Okay. Okay. Okay. But like, what if you're an athlete or a retired athlete in my case? And how do you, how do you know? How do you know the different between those. I mean, that's when you're looking at all those symptoms.

And some of the symptoms are the bigger symptoms that we talk about, right? It's not that I have joint pains on probably in perimenopause. Of course. But I would look at that age

of where you're at. But I would also... It totally makes sense. It's just, in all women, if you're lucky enough, we're going to go through it. I think what I... You said if you're lucky enough?

If you're lucky enough to live that long to go through it. Yeah. Right? If not, then you're not here. And so I think about those things. All women. All women.

All women. All women. if you're lucky enough. Women, we need to stick together because this is something we all have in common. We will. And I think there are some great doctors out there that are really learning. They leave up, you know, they're in practice. They're seeing patients every seven minutes, they're 15 minutes with the patient.

They're grinding all the time and then going out of their way to have to learn this now because they didn't learn this in medical school most often. And so I would say to somebody that has a doctor that's either dismissing, saying it's all part of them aging, saying, you know, are you really suffering? Is it really that bad? That's not the doctor to be going to. It is finding another doctor. And there are so many great ones out there.

There's a lot of telehealth companies out there too that make it very, very easy to jump on and get an appointment because we know that it can be very difficult to leave your work, you know, put time aside to go see a doctor, go find a doctor. But at least to kind of know where you are with that baseline. But there's not really a blood test that's going to tell you because during this time your hormones are going all over the place if you're in pre menopause. There should be a blood test. I know. I wish, I wish, but you know what, it makes sense because if you look at the, if you look at the chart, it just goes like this.

Yeah. You can do your blood test here and do your blood test here and have so different, different numbers. Yeah. Now, once you get into menopause, if you decide you're doing estrogen and progesterone and testosterone, if you're doing testosterone, which I do as well, then there's a test because you want to make sure you have the right amount, not too much. Now, do you do this when you're also on birth control? Well, that depends. I don't know about testosterone with that. Yeah, yeah, that's your doctor. I'm a journalist, but I do think it's important for you to know that, and especially if you're not sleeping. If you're not sleeping and that's a part of it,

projection will be helpful with that. I think my sobriety, though, has really that as soon as I, big time. Of course. I'm sure it has. I'm sure it has. I wonder if I've always had problems sleeping, but then it was because I was so drunk that I would just pass out. Right.

And stay asleep? And stay asleep? Oh, yeah. Oh, because we were like just. I was so exhausted because I was training, dancing with the stars like seven days a week, and then I would just go out. seven nights a week, ballroom dancer by day, club goer by night, girl.

I will tell you, not having alcohol will be so helpful of not triggering other symptoms. And it's a really big deal because most women realize that they just can't drink anymore. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it is, it's a very big difference in being able to stay asleep. It's a lot of change. And so I think that what's interesting this time is it really allows you to take a bit of a beat and say like, okay, I'm going to take her of this. because this is going to be around for another third to half of my life.

And I have to really take care of it the right way. That's the plan. And, okay, so moving on to your now marriage and metapause. Yes. What was that like? Well, you know, I didn't understand perimenopause when I was going through it. So I was having erratic crazy periods, you know, bleeding through things left and right. No, not knowing what was going on.

I had endometrium polyp, so I didn't also know that hallmark of 12 months without a period, because I would be bleeding during that time. But I was dating my now husband then, and we were actually standing in the airport, not married, when I got that note in my patient portal in menopause any questions. And I was like, I'm in menopause. Like, I don't know that any guy knows really what to say with that, you know, proclamation. You don't know what to say when you have a menstrual cramp. Right, boarding a flight. I don't know what to say about any of that. Yeah, no. I didn't know what to say. But I will say that, you know, a lot of things changed.

And during that time, like, libido was, my libido was, like, not around. It was like, M-I-A. And so the girl that, like, he met versus the girl that, you know, he married were, it was different. And so you're going through this in your second marriage. Oh, sure. Yeah, I was 50 when we got married. And so I was like, hi, here comes the menopausal bride.

And that was really what, you know, what was going on. And so I had to learn about libido, learn about why I was like, because it was a little scary. I was like, oh, my God, I got married, and now I have no, I mean, I don't want to have sex. I don't want to think about sex. I don't come near me. And so I had to understand what that was and how communication played a role and how vaginal estrogen plays a role and how, you know, painful sex is a real thing because your, you know, estrogen is all over your body and your tissues are getting thinner and it's painful.

And so those are conversations that we have to be having way earlier than 50 years old. And so that's why I'm really on a mission to help women take charge. of their health, starting in their mid-30s or before that, so they know what to expect, and it's not scary when they get there. I mean, they should teach this in school. Like, I mean, we would have to. They totally should. Yeah, that's part of sexual education.

If there's even such a thing nowadays, I don't even know. But women fall off the timeline. Like, once more past reproductive years, we're not there anymore. And that's a real problem. That's a real problem. Yeah. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Well, wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit.

Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age.

And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hello, it's Daniel Official. Writer Strong.

And Wilfredel from PodMeets World. And we're bringing you Viva Las Content. That's right. We are back in Las Vegas, the city of sin, and giving the people. what they want. A full week of Y2K content. Wait, we're back in Vegas? Tell me why. Well, for the Backstreet Boys residency at Sphere, of course. We sat down with Kevin Richardson and A.J. McLean just minutes before they took the stage,

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December 29th, 1975, LaGuardia Airport. The holiday rush, parents hauling luggage, kids gripping their new Christmas toy. Then, at 6.33 p.m., everything changed. There's been a bombing at the TWA terminal. Apparently, the explosion actually impelled metal, glass. The injured were being loaded into ambulances, just a chaotic, chaotic scene. In its wake, a new kind of enemy emerged, and it was here to stay. Terrorism.

Law and order, criminal justice system is. back. In season two, we're turning our focus to a threat that hides in plain sight. That's harder to predict and even harder to stop. Listen to the new season of Law and Order Criminal Justice System on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hola, it's HoneyGerman, and my podcast, Grazsasas Come Again, is back. This season we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment. With raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition?

No, I didn't audition. I haven't audition in like over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters sharing their real stories of failure and success. You were destined to be a start.

We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of of laughs and those amazing vivras you've come to expect. And of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know, I'm me. But the whole pretending and code, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasasas Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network

on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Janica Lopez, and in the new season of the Overcomber podcast, I'm taking you on an exciting journey of self-reflection. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth.

Life is freaking hard and growth doesn't happen in comfort. It happens in motion even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the Overcomfit Podcast as part of the MyCultura podcast network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. So as far as educating ourselves more, I guess, what are the first steps? Because, like, in my case, you know, is it to find someone that specializes in metapause as far as a doctor goes?

I think first and foremost, it's to educate yourself. Right. It's really to educate yourself. Being curious. And being curious and asking the questions and knowing that you, if you are a woman and you're listening to this and you're in your 30s, or even in your 20, I mean, any woman, but let's just say in your 30s, you can assume that. very soon, in the next 10 years, you're going to be in that perimenopausal period. It's not like, oh, I'm 46, but when I'm 47, you're going to be in there because those are the years leading up to menopause.

The average age of menopause is 51. So most likely around that time, could it be 54, sure. Could it be 49? In my case, it was 48 years old. So understanding that, understanding what those symptoms are, and then understanding, you kind of have a few options. You have hormonal or non-hormonal solutions to them. The hormonal would be hormone therapy, the non-hormonal, there are supplements, there are

lifestyle changes. There are different ways, like, if you want to do magnesium at night to help you sleep, if you want to make sure you up your protein. There's all those. Sometimes, progesterone really is the one to help me. Progesterone help me. Oh, okay. Good to know.

Good to know. But if you have problem sleeping, then that is one of those sure signs. Like, that's who you should be talking about that. You're not my therapist. Is that an ongoing? But there's this weird thing that I take satisfaction in staying. up when everyone's sleeping. It's a weird. It's okay. I get it. I get it. I used to take I'm a dancer. I'm a distraction and getting up in the morning early and I was like, see? I have

so succeeded now above everybody. I'm up four hours early than everybody. I don't know if I've succeeded, but I'm like, I'm like, oh my God, it's quiet. Like I can actually, I get easily distracted. So, yeah, is that just more work that. It's like, what work? Like, you know. That's okay, though. That's okay, though. Yeah. But I think educating yourself is is so important. And here's why. You have to educate yourself so you. know when you go into your doctor, whether or not your doctor is educated to talk to you about this. And so, you know, in the book, that's what I go through. I go through understanding, it educates you know what's going on, understanding the different symptoms. I hit the 34 kind of

big symptoms of it. There can be upwards of 50 to 100 symptoms of menopause because estrogen is all over our body. And we start to lose it during this time. That's what happens. Those hormones go down. And then I think it's important to know what kind of script that you need once you go into a doctor's office and either find a person that is educated about menopause or feels comfortable talking about it. Because some doctors don't even feel comfortable talking about it. I think also it's like, what do we ask, like as patients? And by the way, if anyone's like me, which I know there are people that hate doctors to even get in there, like is a big deal. I'm not going to go researching for more doctors. It is. It is. Telehealth is a good one.

You know, there's mini health, there's alloy health, there's Maven health, and I appreciate those because that is what they do day in and day out. And so it's not that you have to go, hi, do you guys feel comfortable talking about it? Like, that is what they do. Show me what you know about metapause. No, that's what they do. And so I feel like that's, that's a good way to do it. And I think it's important. And yes, you don't want to have to interview your doctor, but at the same time, you don't want to be gaslit by a doctor either. No, true, true. You don't want to be gaslit by a doctor because that just causes all other. you know, sorts of issues. Would it be easier to, say, stick to women doctors or?

You know, I found some great men practitioners, too. I, um, I think that I have, I have a woman doctor right now because she also does surgery. I have endometrium polyp, so I have to go and get surgery. And she wound up just being really amazing about, um, me being able to talk to easier about it. Yeah. But I do think men are becoming more and more part of the conversation, which I'm encouraged by. And there are some incredible male, male doctors out there and researchers out there. So I think it takes all of us. But I would say that telehealth is a great option that we didn't have five years ago, really like we have now. I mean, it really has grown into something where I feel encouraged by and excited about being able to recommend an offer.

And also, if you guys listen to your book, obviously in Audible, there's a PDF attachment that has all this information. Yeah, I have a PDF of all the resources. And I wanted to do that because I didn't want, listen, the reason I wrote this book is because there was no girlfriend's guide to this time in life. None. what to expect when you're expensing. We had, you know, are you there, God, it's me, Margaret. We didn't have, are you there, God, it's me menopause. So how to menopause is that book. And I wanted to make sure it was easy. I wanted to make sure. You should do something with that title. Oh, thank you.

Second book? It's so a second book of the worst. Second podcast. It was just really, really important for me to give women a guide to help them to make decisions. And so I want that to be kind of that resource that they can open up and say like, okay, I'm not having a problem sleeping. but my sex life is taking a dive, so I'm turning to the sex chapter. Or, hey, these things are going well, but mindset is really difficult for me. I even have a dating chapter because we're dating in perimenopause. Are you still matchmaking on the side?

I'm not still matchmaking on the side. I was like, you're going to help my, are you going to help me? But you know what? You can tell me what you're looking for, and I'm always going to look out. I'm not. That's the problem. Okay, that's all right. That's right. You might have to look for your mindset eyes.

I might just have to like just look for you. But I'm a picky one. Okay. That's all. Well, trust me. I'm not. Trust me. Okay. So first of all, thank you for your service because this is really helpful. It is beyond helpful. I mean, even for just to spark curiosity in me. I don't like doctors. It's not the first stop for me. I get it. I lost my mother to breast cancer. I couldn't go into a hospital without feeling like I was going to pass out. I couldn't go to a doctor's office without smelling that smell. So I really understand what you're saying. I think that if I encourage any woman to do anything, it's,

start looking at your lifestyle and back into it if that's the best way to do it and don't suffer. God. You know, unnecessary. Here's why. Because it's not just about hot flashes. It's not just about not being able to sleep or a little belly fat. It's about long-term health ramifications.

And if we don't start dealing with this now and we are going to live to 70 years old or 65 years old or whatever these ages are, we are talking about protecting our bones, protecting our minds and protecting our heart. I know you have. I know you have. You do say something in your book where you wrote, like, whatever, the way you treated yourself in the earlier years is you're going to feel it. Yeah. And I'm good.

You know what? This is going to be painful. I felt it, but it's never too late. Yeah. It's uping your, you know, to protect your bones. God, I eat. Your protein. Yeah, I know.

Oh, I did too. I had Diet Coke and Fritos in the entire college career. I love Diet Coke. Me too. I had snack wells because they were fat-free. Everyone thought they were good. Dad, it's a dentist, and literally, I was raised with, like, remember those Jenny Craig TV dinners and, like, hot pockets? Everything processed. Oh, my God. Uncrustibles. Like, hello, people.

All of it. All of it. Like, process, process. Burger King was there once a one night a week out. We didn't know. Oh, my goodness. We didn't know. Oh, gosh, but now we do. Now we do. Protein is the other big one. Okay. Protein. You can't get it from Burger King. You can't get it from Burger King. Well, I mean, maybe, but I would, I got some other sources for you in the book. Thanks. So what would you say the most common questions are from other women? Yeah. I think that one of the big questions is what, you know, exactly what you asked. Like, am I, how do I know I'm in pari menopause? And so, in looking at those symptoms, the tracking those symptoms is the most important. I think the next big question is always like, are there really lifestyle changes that you can make? And the answer is yes. My big focus and my big, you know, if I push for anything, it's like trying to focus on sleep and trying to make sure you're getting that because of the, the fact that your hormones are so erratic. That chapter scared this shit. I'm sure it did.

You got to have to listen to it twice. Actually, as I was unpacking, it was like three in the morning. I was like, oh, great, great. Thanks, thanks. Now I have to go talk to you. Literally, it's not even like, you said like every, every night that you lose sleep. I'm like, oh my God. That chapter, I had to scale back.

It was so long. And you know, it's still one of the longest chapters in the book, right? You're talking at me. I didn't even talking to me. You were at me. It was crazy. It's really important, though. It's really important.

Can you just reiterate, I guess? Sleep hygiene, getting to bed at the same time every night, waking up at the same time as best you can within reason, not making yourself crazy, blacking out your room, making sure that you do a wind down, that you're not, huh? My dog snores. I refuse to not sleep with her. Well, I know. I think I'm, I, that's hard for me.

Like, that was not a deal breaker for me. I had to have my dog in my bed all the time. I mean, I sleep with my AirPods, which is probably another problem that, I know, I know. I try to like, I try to unwind that. But even if you can just like set the alarm and then turn it off if you can, if you can keep the blue lights out of there. I mean, the sleep hygiene part in understanding it and understanding what those different hormones do to our sleep to disrupt it is so, so important. So that's, that's one of the big ones. And then I think the other thing that women ask is like, is it ever, am I ever going to feel like

myself again? And the answer is not really. I think you're going to feel like a better version of yourself. You're going to feel very different on the other side. of this. And it's in part, yes, because you've gone through the symptoms, but I think the bigger part of it is that there's a freedom that comes with all of this. There's a freedom that comes with this lack of timelines in life that we feel like we have to, shoulda, coulda, I feel like we got to a place where our minds are not trying to be the caretakers of everybody else and we're giving ourselves a little more attention. So that would be the other question, and that would definitely be my answer. Let's talk a little bit more about the, I guess, the positive

aspects of all this, though, it may not seem like that too. I know. I know. I always want to start another good note. Yeah. What, so do you feel empowered? What type of freedom did you feel? I mean, not to say that, because you're still going through it. Yeah, right? Sure. You're a menopause for the rest of your life. Right. The second half. Yeah. My life part too. You know, like, yes, exactly. So what is that like, that feeling? You know, I mean, you get past that hard part of the symptoms. Like, paramedopause is really the most confusing chaotic part of the symptoms. Right. Menopause, I felt like I was a little more in control. It's like I understood what was happening. My brain fog that dipped down here and was debilitating at times, you know, came back up so I can

memorize. I wouldn't have been able to have a conversation with you. I literally would have been like struggling for words. Like what? Yeah. Like what's your book about? Um, yeah. So there's a chapter. No way. Literally. No way. Literally. And I would just stop and you'd be like, help me. Wait, was this happening when you were still a journalist? Of course it was. It was happening.

So I'd see the teleprompter, you know, the teleprompter be in front of me. No, I'd look at a word. I'd recognize the word. And then at some days I couldn't get it out of my mouth. Just randomly. Not all the time. But just enough to just kill my confidence at certain point.

I just think, like I always have brain frogs. Forgetting why you go into a room. And that's why a lot of women have a lot of fear. They have a lot of fear. Where's my phone? It's in my hand. Where's my phone? It's my phone.

But that would happen constantly. So I would say, that that comes out on the other side where it sort of levels back out to where you were pre you know before perimenopause and so that's exciting I think a lot of the freedom comes with not being that caretaker anymore even though we do have a lot of we have aging parents that we're taking care of many women have children they're taking care of but I do feel like we come out at the other side and say like okay I have to put me first I have to put me first and then the lack of filter comes with it off of like you know my lack of filter had I've always had that but now

it's even better get ready for it. it to be even more prominent. I don't even try to hide it. Get ready for it to be more prominent. I'm not even saying sorry afterwards. But those are some real gifts. Yeah. Those are some real gifts.

And we see women do incredible things. And so I get excited about this time in life versus fearful that my best years are behind me. But also like why, you know, we all evolve, whether you like it or not, we're human. And we are evolving every second of the every day. And so to say that when am I going to feel like myself, regardless, right? Like regardless, I mean, why would you want to? I could not agree more.

I could not agree more. Thank you for your work. Thank you so much. This has been such an amazing conversation. I've learned so much from Tampson. Seriously, this is something that, you know, is needed, especially in the world of just metapause. We need to be educated.

Be sure to grab her new book, How to Metapause out right now. Listeners, we want to hear from you. So call us or email us, follow us on socials. All the information will be in the show notes. make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do part two and IHeart radio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam.

Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast. So we'll find out soon. This person writes, hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate.

Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell, and the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught, and I just looked at my computer screen.

I was just like, ah, got you. This technology's already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, it's Honey German, and I'm back with season two of my podcast. Grazias, come again. We got you when it comes to the latest inhuman. music and entertainment, with interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition?

No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in, like, over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about all that's viral and trending, with a little bit of cheesement and a whole lot of laughs. And, of course, the great vivras you've come to expect. Listen to the new season of Dacias Come Again on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hi, I'm Jennifer Lopez, and in the new season of The Over Comfort Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcombered podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.