The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Opposites Attract with John Henry

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

Ben and Ashley are hanging out with one of the superstars from last season of Bachelor in Paradise, John Henry! We discuss if opposites really do attract, and John opens up about why things didn’t w...ork out between him and Kat. And you won’t believe the story of WHO nominated John for The Bachelorette!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:02:02 Listen to the new season of Dacia's Come Again on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcast with IHeartRadio. Hey guys, welcome to the almost famous podcast. Today, we have a man that you will remember from last season of Bachelor in Paradise on the show. his name is John Henry. John Henry, I have a question for you. Is Henry your last name, or is it like a combined first name? It's actually my middle name.
Starting point is 00:02:37 Okay. So my family, they're kind of old school. Growing up, John Henry is like what everybody called me, my family. A lot of my, like, my hometown friends growing up, you know, I was always John Henry. And then like my sister, she's Kate Marie, my other sister's Lauren Ann. so I've kind of gone by John Henry pretty much my whole life but then I mean I go by John too I don't introduce myself as John Henry
Starting point is 00:03:05 I'll just say John but then once they get to know me it's John Henry and uh this is one of the worst phenomenons in the United States and I'll tell you why I'm married a girl from the South and all of her friends have two first names and so when I first met her it was hard enough to know the one name then I have to know the two names and all of them are like Anna Lee, Anna Kaye, Anna Meredith. Like they all have two names.
Starting point is 00:03:32 It's hard. Yeah, but with a name like John, everybody's John. So it makes it easy. You know, if someone just yells John, everybody looks. But then, you know, if they say John Henry, it's like, okay, that's me. So it just makes it easier. So what's your last name? Spurlock.
Starting point is 00:03:51 Okay. Yeah. All right. John Henry Spurlock. Well, we wanted to have you here today, of course, to talk about your experience in Bachelor in Paradise. You were one of the engaged couples this season, season nine. And it's, how do you feel about the reputation that, like, season nine ruined the whole thing because I, so many failed relationships that came from it. And that's why we're not getting another paradise. It doesn't bother me. I mean, I don't know. I just, I did it. I had fun, found somebody, you know, gave it a shot, and I'm happy about, like, my experience. You know, I wouldn't change it for anything. But as far as the rest of the season goes and how people view it, I mean, I don't really care. It doesn't bother me.
Starting point is 00:04:39 The interesting thing, I think, from your perspective, would be why did so many relationships look like they could work coming off the show and ended up not working, you know, in a very short time? from the show. I don't really know. It's kind of hard for me to talk about that because I'm not really too focused on the other relationships. You know, obviously me and Kat, we ended up getting engaged. And I know our story, and I don't really want to talk about
Starting point is 00:05:14 the other couple's stories because, you know, I feel like that's kind of for them to touch on. But, you know, as far as me and Kat goes, like, you know, I gave it my awe, and we tried it, and it didn't work out, but that's okay. And, uh, I mean, yeah. You and Kat seems like an odd couple right off the bat. You seem like a very salt of the earth, grounded type of guy, sweet, southern, and she, and I think Kat is hilarious, and I, like, loved her personality for TV.
Starting point is 00:05:47 And I think she has a good heart. She's stunning. Um, but. like yeah you guys were definitely an odd couple and how did that work out in your favor and how did it ultimately not i mean yeah like we couldn't be any more different you know i knew that she knew that everybody else at the beach you know everybody said like we were probably like the last couple they ever would have imagined getting together yeah but like you said like i don't know it just worked like because she's you know she's really vocal um she's like loud and she's always
Starting point is 00:06:25 all over the place and then like i'm a little more grounded so like i don't know it just it worked like we couldn't be any more different but at the same time it fit you know so yeah it's like one of those situations where it's opposite to attract and that's a good thing for the short short term but for the long term it often doesn't work out yeah you know you like you know that in me i don't know if it's like a meme but like it's like if i order french fries at a restaurant and they give me tater tots like you need to find a girl that's going to tell the server like he didn't order you know tater tots so it's like i'm not going to complain you know i'll eat the tater tops i don't care but like you know cat's a kind of girl like she's going to speak up
Starting point is 00:07:09 she's going to be like no he didn't order that he ordered french fries that's hilarious i need that and i are not going to complain about the tater tots though i know that we're just I mean, that's what I'm saying. I'll eat them. These are great. Yeah, I'll eat them. It's not the end of the world, but, you know. Stand up for your man, Ashley.
Starting point is 00:07:26 Wait, Ben, Ben, what, what, you and Jess? Who's going to tell the waiter that you guys didn't order to your dad? Not a single soul. But it's an interesting concept, John Henry, because, you know, I'm from Indiana originally and from an incredible agriculture town. And we have some very, like, prominent, really successful farmers. And these farmers are oftentimes from farming families, you know, third, fourth generation farmers and their life is hard, right? Wake up at 5 a.m. You close the barn door at 8 p.m. But you're
Starting point is 00:08:03 very wealthy. Typically, these farmers are very wealthy. And we had this thing in town. We kind of called it farming princesses where you'd have these farmers who are as simple as simple can be. They could ask for nothing ever and they're just good doing what they're doing. But they'd have have their wives who would kind of push them and stretch them to experience the world in a different way, right? Maybe, hey, I want to go to a fancier dinner tonight. So can you throw on your nice jeans and your nice shirt and your boots and take me to a fancy dinner? Is that kind of what you're talking about where it felt like Kat might just be that enough of a difference for you to push you into a realm that you would never go into on your own? Yeah. And that's one of the big
Starting point is 00:08:46 things that really call my attention from the beginning with her is like, you know, I want somebody different than me. I don't want someone exactly like me with the same hobbies. You know, I like having my hobbies and doing my own thing and she has her hobbies and does her own thing. And I don't know, like that's, that's always kind of what I liked. And like knowing Cat is totally different than me, like she can show me a lot and then at the same time, you know, I can show her a lot. So I like change. like doing different things so like yeah i mean that i've really liked the idea of that with her you know that was one of the things that i first noticed and was like okay like you know it's kind of what i'm looking for i think my follow up to that would be what do you look i mean i don't want to skip too
Starting point is 00:09:30 far ahead here but what are you looking for now now that you've experienced a cat in your life and seeing kind of that difference are you now as you focus on what you're into now in the future Is it back to kind of comfort and somebody that will just like ride along with you and you guys can do what you do? Or is it still that kind of more cat style that will push you outside of it? Both.
Starting point is 00:09:57 I still like the idea of having, you know, somebody that's totally different than me. But it kind of made me realize too. It's like, like the like down to the core. Like you have to be similar. You have to, you know, there's a lot of things that you have to be similar on but then like all the things that don't matter like that's what i want to be different but like when
Starting point is 00:10:19 it comes to all the deep stuff you know that has to be on track yeah that makes sense okay so when you propose it was kind of hilarious because you said my head is telling me not to do this but my heart is telling me to go for it um to your future self proposing one other day um do you want both your heart and your head to be at the same place. Yeah, I mean, obviously, but Paradise is such a not like a normal way of getting engaged. Like, you know, it's such a short period of time. And going on the show, like, I knew that. Like, I knew it was going to be a lot different than like everyday dating. And like in everyday dating, you know, I think two, three years then I'll be you know ready but going to paradise it's like I know how it works
Starting point is 00:11:19 you know I know the end goal and like in order to go on the show I guess you have to be open to it so I was you know in my head like we got along really well and you know things couldn't have been any better at paradise so you know it's getting down to the end and I have to make up a decision and I was all in, but like it was such a short period of time. So it's like I was thinking back on like just normal everyday dating. Like, yeah, it's absolutely insane to get engaged after just a couple weeks. But knowing that that, you know, that's what I signed up for, I had to be open to it. And, you know, I was leaving the beach and I was thinking myself, well, I mean, it couldn't go any better with Kat.
Starting point is 00:12:04 So it was like, let's let's just do it. You know, let's give it a shot. you just don't seem like the type of guy to me out of anybody maybe i've ever seen from the show chris souls would be a close second uh but you don't seem like a guy that would ever have any interest in doing this thing i didn't i didn't you're absolutely right so two questions here that you have to answer probably in one response okay would be how why did you do it and then how did you get yourself because you just said that you were going on to to the beach with the right intention, like what everybody else there says they're doing.
Starting point is 00:12:42 I believe that you went with the right intention because I don't believe you to be a man trying to make up something that's not true. So why did you go and then how in the world did you get your mind in the right place to even do it without wanting to do it at all? So I guess I have to kind of go back to the Bachelorette. Because that's where the whole decision came to, to do it all. And I didn't apply, you know. I was floating out on a barge out in the middle of the ocean and I got a phone call.
Starting point is 00:13:19 And, you know, it was one of the casting producers. And she basically told me, like, I got nominated online and they were just like curious if I was, you know, still single and if I'd be interested. And at first, I told them no. I was like, absolutely not. Like, do you know? I don't really know for sure. I think it was my buddy's ex-girlfriend at the time. Wow.
Starting point is 00:13:41 So it was a long time ago. Yeah, it was a long time ago. And like, I told him no. I was like, because I know like about the show. I know you got doctors and lawyers and personal trainers. And then I work construction. So like I have no business being on that show. So at first, when she first started talking to me, I told him no.
Starting point is 00:14:00 I was like, I'm not going to do this. But she was like, you know, this isn't a guarantee that you're going to be on. She was like, just think about it. She was like, go through the process. And, you know, if they end up picking you, then you can make up your mind. And I was like, okay, whatever, you know, I'll go through it and see what happens. And then I made it to the end. You know, they told me that they wanted me to be on it.
Starting point is 00:14:22 And I was like, well, I was like, now I got to do it, you know. Yeah. So I don't know. I decided to do it. And then I kind of, I knew about how it works and everything. So then I had to change my mindset to be like, okay. So, like, this isn't, like, typical dating. I have to be open to how this is all going to work and, you know, the situation.
Starting point is 00:14:42 And so I just decided to do it. But, you know, I'm the kind of guy. Like, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to give it my all. I'm not just going to half-ass it. I'm just, you know, I'm going to give it everything I got and see what happens. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers.
Starting point is 00:15:13 I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweeten, Monica Patton, Elaine Welteroff. I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I got to go. I don't know how, but that kicked off the pivot of how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Every episode gets real about the why behind these changes and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push to, make your next pivot. Listen to these women and more on she pivots, now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here, and on my
Starting point is 00:15:46 podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain, I'm breaking down the players from rising stars to legends chasing history, the predictions, well, we see a first time winner, and the pressure. Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, you know. Plus, the stories and events off the court, and of course the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experiential sporting event. I mean, listen, the whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive for all tennis fans, whether you play tennis or not. Tennis is full of compelling stories of late. Have you heard about Icon Venus Williams' recent wildcard bids or the young Canadian, Victoria Mboko, making a name for herself?
Starting point is 00:16:28 How about Naomi Osaka getting back to form? To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain. Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHart Women's Sports. Culture eats strategy for breakfast. I would love for you to share your breakdown on pivoting. We feel sometimes like we're leaving a part of us behind when we enter a new space,
Starting point is 00:16:58 but we're just building. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Valicia Butterfield, media founder, political strategist, and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman who worked really hard to be able to say that. I'd love for you to break down why was so important for you to do C. You can't win as something you didn't create. From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys, Malicia's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. A very fake capital-driven environment and society will have a lot of people tell half-truths.
Starting point is 00:17:37 I'm telling you, I'm on the energy committee. Like, if the energy is not right, we're not doing it, whatever that it is. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new. anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health struggles, and more
Starting point is 00:18:20 and found the shrimp to make it to the other side. My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Okay, so I want to go to the moment where you and Kat, the cameras stop rolling, you're at the hotel in Mexico, you probably get a few days just to relax the two of you.
Starting point is 00:19:13 What was your vibe? Because it just, like, everything can change in those days. You, like, really know, you're like, oh, is this going to last or not, I think, in those days? I don't think it was anything, like, too crazy because, like, me and Kat, we did have a lot of conversations. like without cameras and you know i think you get you get a really good idea on what someone's all about when the cameras are not around so i've already had you know several moments with cat where i got to see you know who she really is like without all the cameras so when we're in mexico in the hotel afterwards you know i already i already i already knew um and i was just
Starting point is 00:19:54 excited i was so excited that the whole thing was over and like i was just looking forward like You know, we're all, we're super excited about the relationship. We were still 100% in. And, you know, we started making plans. I'm when we're going to start seeing each other. So I was really excited. Like, it was, it didn't really catch me by just, like, surprise. I didn't, like, see a side of cat then that, you know, I didn't see before.
Starting point is 00:20:18 So I was just very comfortable. And I was, I was ready to, you know, see where things were going to go. And then things went sideways, right? I wouldn't, I mean, they, they went a little sideways, but nothing too drastic. Like, we didn't have a crazy breakup story. Like, you know, we have a, we had a very healthy relationship for months after filming. And then, I don't know, things didn't go sideways. It's just, I started to see our differences.
Starting point is 00:20:55 And, you know, we decided to end up, you know, ultimately. It's going our different ways. But looking back on the relationship, like we had a beautiful relationship for months. We did a lot of cool things together. And like I have a lot of good memories that I'm truly thankful for. So like me and Kat, we're still cool.
Starting point is 00:21:12 We can still talk and, you know, there's no hard feelings. So, you know, I don't look at it as like a fail because I had some great times with her. So you'd say it was mutual? It's mutual. It's mutual now, I'd say. Ooh, it's mutual now. Elaborate, please.
Starting point is 00:21:29 all right um okay so if you guys want me to go into detail i guess i can go in detail of course we do this is the long story you guys got time yes i have nothing else going on all right where do i start i guess i have to start this story 10 years ago oh wow okay so i got into commercial diving um well about eight years ago now and i knew what i was signing up for I knew it was going to be a lot of traveling. It was going to be a lot of long days, long nights, every day, you know, seven days a week. And I knew it wasn't going to be a very relationship-friendly career. So when I first got into it, I told myself, I'll do it for 10 years.
Starting point is 00:22:17 And then after 10 years, I'm going to get out and I'll find, you know, a little more stable career where I can stay local and actually, like, start a relationship. So, anyways, you know, I've been doing my thing and then I get the call for the show and I was like eight years in and I knew I only had a couple more years and then I was going to fully get out of diving and, you know, try to start a relationship and everything. But the show like didn't, I didn't plan on the show. It just kind of fell in my lap, right? So I was like, okay, you know, if I end up meeting somebody, you know, I did eight years. I didn't do the full time. 10, like I said, I was going to do, which, you know, I'm good with that. So me and Kat, you know, we meet at Paradise and we talked about it. And like I told her, you know, like as of right now, like my career is not relationship friendly. She knew that. But I was like, it's, you know, my plan is to get out of it anyways and, you know, do something where it's easier, you know,
Starting point is 00:23:18 for that. Can I stop you right there? Can you tell us about your day to day? Like I know, so you're a commercial diving welder. So basically, you're like down there making bridges and stuff welding underwater, which is like the most mind-boggling thing. Bridge creation and all that is like, it was so cool. And I don't know how you guys do it. But is that what you do? Yeah. I mean, my job title technically is just a commercial diver. So like underwater welding, that's just part of the job. You know, I'm not specifically just like welding underwater all day every day. So it just depends on the job. I could be on a bunch of different things.
Starting point is 00:23:57 It could be a ship that sank that we're bringing back up or, like you said, building bridges or I don't know. We've done all kinds of crazy things, but that's what I love about it. Are you like living on boats and in hotels and stuff, wherever the job, like wherever they need you? Pretty much. I haven't bounced around a ton, but, you know, I've worked in Virginia Beach and then I went and, you know, I was in Charleston. I've done some stuff up in New York and then I went and worked in Germany for a year and then I worked in Austria for a little bit
Starting point is 00:24:31 and then now I'm back in Virginia Beach but this is coming to an end I have you know something lined up but so yeah so I mean I've kind of bounced around whatever jobs you know if they have something really cool going on and I don't know let's say Sweden you know I'll up and go to Sweden for a while
Starting point is 00:24:50 and do that job and then go to the next one so it's kind of all over the place but like i knew that's what i signed up for when i got into this career okay so anyways like with cat um you know we start to have a a relationship and she knows my schedule she knows like you know what i was what i was doing what she kind of got involved with and then i start it's hard for me to take time off it's it really is hard for me to take time and we started making all these plans like she first came up to virginia and we had a nice little weekend here and then i went to tampa and seen her and then she ended up moving to ashville north carolina why uh she took a travel nurse gig um so her plans were to go to san die
Starting point is 00:25:39 but she uh wasn't able to go as soon as she was hoping to so she had a several weeks like kind of just to wait around to figure out what's going on with San Diego. So she decided to take a travel nurse gig in Asheville, which was closer to me, so that we could, you know, be closer to each other. And so she moved to Asheville, and then I went to Asheville a couple times and seen her. And then, you know, things were going really well. But then, you know, I'm now, so I'm, I have this job. And then I get in this relationship.
Starting point is 00:26:16 And then now it's like, okay, well, now I have to start figuring. out what I'm going to do, how I'm going to make this transition to a career that is going to be a lot easier for me like in her to work with. And they kind of called me by surprise because like I said, I originally, you know, I had two more years and then I was going to make that happen. But now, you know, started this with her and got engaged. It was like, okay, so now I need to start doing this now. And it just called me by surprise. So now I'm starting to stress out about how I'm going to make this move. I know she wants to go to San Diego.
Starting point is 00:26:51 So now I'm kind of looking at jobs out in San Diego. Like, do I want to keep diving just because it's what I do? And I could move there and dive for a little bit. At least get me over there. And then once I'm there, I can figure something out. And so I don't know. I really started to get stressed out on how I'm going to make this work on my end. And I think once I really started to get stressed out,
Starting point is 00:27:17 I don't know how do I say this um so I started to have my doubts right and I started to think about like am I fully ready to drop diving yeah and it started to worry me because you know my end goal was to fall like you know fall in love find a wife and I thought the whole process would be a lot easier but it wasn't and it was really stressful and then it just started to make me think like why am i so stressed why is this move and transition so hard for me like this this should be easy you know like i'm in love i'm with someone that i really like this should be no problem for me to switch careers and find something else but that wasn't the case so then i started thinking myself like is this is this really it like is this is this is this is this
Starting point is 00:28:17 this really what I want? And I guess once I started kind of thinking that, it just kind of started spiraling for me. And everything else, everything just started to get more stressful. And then I started to see our differences a lot more. So things just really got hard for me. And then at the same time, like, you know, at this point, the show's airing. And, you know, Kat is just getting so much hate and it was really hard for her too um just dealing dealing with that so now you have this like she's all she's really stressed out and she's just everyone's coming at her on a day-to-day basis and then i'm stressed out trying to make my move you know trying to make this work figuring out careers and then now i'm getting stress and now i'm having doubts so i'm trying to
Starting point is 00:29:11 it's just it it got to a point where it was just extremely hard for the both of us and then basically I just I you know I called it quits I said I just this doesn't feel right I think this should be a lot easier than what it is and it just it wasn't the case so then I was like well why isn't the case like what's what's wrong and then I just started thinking myself like maybe this just isn't for me and then once I got that in my head you know it just kind of spiraled from there was she shocked she was shocked I think that uh you know it wasn't wasn't really fair to her because at the time, you know, I was her, you know, I was her fiance, you know, I'm supposed to be her rock. I'm supposed to be there for her. And I think
Starting point is 00:30:01 the hardest thing for her was like, you know, so I don't know, but like I had a, you know, a thing about like depression. I made a post about it and I had a walk for depression. And, you know, this is kind of new to me. Um, well, it first started, you know, I started dealing with it like seven, eight years ago, but this was my first relationship that I was in where I dealt with depression. So I'm getting stressed out about everything and then, you know, I definitely got in like a loaf from it. And then now Kat, you know, she's just, she really needed that support for me.
Starting point is 00:30:39 But now I got all this, all this anxiety and I'm dealing with depression and then I shut down. So I definitely wasn't there for her like I should have been. So I think that was the hardest thing for her was like, you know, the fact that like I'm supposed to be her guy. I'm supposed to be there for her. And I was struggling with that because of all the issues that I was dealing with myself. So that was that was the hardest thing for her, I think for sure. And it was all happening while the show was airing. And then you guys basically broke up like the last last week that it was airing. Yeah, we actually broke up right before the finale, actually.
Starting point is 00:31:22 I'm curious, though. Would you say, I mean, you were engaged from the show. Is Cat to date the greatest love that you've had? Cat is amazing. You know, she really is something special. Like, she's not my longest relationship, but but cat cats a catch like i'll tell you like she uh she definitely did her part um you know because like distance is hard distance is hard for everybody but she did you know she when she loves
Starting point is 00:32:00 you know she gives it her all and uh she did everything that she needed to do and then some in order to try to make our relationship work and uh you know even after Even after we ended up breaking up, you know, it was it was hard at first for sure. But we definitely kept in touch and like, you know, dealing with all my depression stuff. Like she's reached out several times. Like she's always checking in. She sent me a lot of podcasts and stuff to listen to and like some books and stuff to read just to help. And like she's been nothing but supportive, you know, after the breakup.
Starting point is 00:32:35 And so like she's cats, cat's a good one. You know, it didn't work out with us. But someone's definitely going to be very lucky to have her. Would you say that you were in love with her? Or maybe... Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, I would.
Starting point is 00:32:52 I would. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tishussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweeten, Monica Penn, Elaine Welteroff. I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I got to go.
Starting point is 00:33:19 I don't know how, but that kicked off the pivot of how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Every episode gets real about the why behind these changes and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push to make your next pivot. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots, now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast, The U.S. Open is here. And on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain, I'm breaking down the players from rising stars to legends chasing history. The predictions will we see a first time winner and the pressure. Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, you know. Plus, the stories and events off the court and of course the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experiential sporting event.
Starting point is 00:34:12 I mean, listen, the whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive for all tennis fans, whether you play tennis or not. Tennis is full of compelling stories of late. Have you heard about Icon Venus Williams' recent wildcard bids or the young Canadian Victoria Mboko making a name for herself? How about Naomi Osaka getting back to form? To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an Iheart women's sports production in partnership with deep blue sports and entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple
Starting point is 00:34:40 podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of I Heart Women's Sports. Culture eats strategy for breakfast. I would love for you to share your breakdown on pivoting. We feel sometimes like we're leaving a part of us behind when we enter a new space, but we're just building. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Volisha Butterfield, Media Founder, Political Strategist, and Tech Powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman who worked really hard to be able to say that. I'd love for you to break down why it was so important for you to do C.
Starting point is 00:35:21 You can't win as something you didn't create. From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys, Belichia's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. A very fake, capital-driven environment and society will have a lot of people tell half-truths. I'm telling you, I'm on the energy committee. Like, if the energy is not right, we're not doing it, whatever that it is. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Imagine that you're on an airplane, and all of a sudden you hear this.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency, and we need someone, anyone, to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this, until this. Do this, pull that, turn this. It's just, I can do it my eyes close. I'm Mani.
Starting point is 00:36:15 I'm Noah. This is Devin. And on our new show, no such thing, we get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right.
Starting point is 00:36:38 I'm looking at this thing. Listen to No Such Thing on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for sharing all that. I mean, it makes things make more sense, too. And you are taking a lot of the ownership in this relationship and why it ended the way it did. And it all makes sense. Like, none of this is, nobody's hearing any of this and be like, what are you talking about? Long distance relationships are easy.
Starting point is 00:37:09 and, you know, mental health struggles, yeah, you just move on. No, those are real things that we're going on. And the hope here is that, you know, your future is bright. And we know cats will be bright and that things, you know, new loves will come into your live. But today, your relationship, it's funny, one of the only markers we have, people are still getting along is social media. And you still follow Kat on social media, but we notice that Kat doesn't follow you
Starting point is 00:37:38 any longer, which made us think that there was, you know, a more of a divide here than what we understood it to be. Can you speak to that a little bit? Yeah. So like I said, we kept in touch for a while even after the breakup. And she moved to San Diego because that was her dream. That's what she wanted to do. So she made that happen. And, you know, she would always call me and show me all the sunsets and stuff and she was talking about her new place and how excited she was and how much she was loving it. And then, you know, at the end of the day, I'm the one who cut it off with her and we stayed civil. We stayed friends. And I think it was definitely it was hard for her because it's not what she wanted. She was still fully invested. She wanted to make, you know, make it last and
Starting point is 00:38:31 do everything that she could and try to make it work. But, you know, I just started to see our differences and I was just really struggling with you know making making it work on my end so when I cut it off I mean she's doing great she's living her life in San Diego she's a nurse practitioner now she's got a really good job she's doing her own thing having a blast and like I'm you know I'm still working on my stuff here I got a lot to you know to figure out on my end but it's just it it became clear to me that I think this was the right decision but when it comes to you know us talking we don't really talk much
Starting point is 00:39:13 anymore now we're civil if she called me I'd be there in a heartbeat if she you know if I needed her I know she'd answer the phone and she'd do anything she could help but from like a relationship standpoint I think you know after a little while she told me she was like I don't think we should talk anymore
Starting point is 00:39:31 because it's just it's difficult and I think she did it just to kind of focused on herself and try to move on. She said just keeping in touch and always talking all the time, it just wasn't helping her. So she made a decision. We just weren't going to, you know, really talk and keep in touch. Like we're civil. We're friends. But also, it was time for us just to totally separate. Yeah. So I knew she unfollowed me, but, you know, it doesn't bother me. But I mean, I still follow her because I still like, you know, seeing what she's doing and everything that, you know, you know, all her goals that she always talked about. It's nice for me to see, you know, her getting everything done that she wanted to get done. So that's why I still follow her, just because I'm proud of her. Oh, that's sweet. How's your mental health now?
Starting point is 00:40:22 Doing good. I'm definitely getting a lot better. But, you know, just like I said, being in a relationship while dealing with it, this was my first time. So it definitely opened my eyes to a lot of things that I didn't really know before that it took me getting in a relationship to realize like I got some things that I got to get figured out. But after getting rid of, you know, getting out of that relationship and like I'm done trying to figure out, you know, trying to make everything happen and move in such a short period of time, you know, I'm just back on a normal, I'm going to make it happen when it's meant to, you know, meant to be. and it's just way less weight off my shoulders. I just, you know, I can, I can just make this transition like I originally thought, you know, without it being so stressful. Are you going to continue to dive then?
Starting point is 00:41:16 I mean, for now, because, yeah, now I'm back to being single and, you know, I definitely, I don't see myself getting into another relationship for a little while. Like I said, I got some things that you've got to get figured out, but I'm getting there. You know, I'm definitely getting better. Um, but, you know, I'm just going to get myself right because I know I hurt Kat and, you know, that's the last thing I want to do is hurt somebody else. So before I get into another relationship, I have to make sure that, you know, I'm mentally ready for it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:52 So, so you haven't been out there dating. You're kind of focused on yourself. Not really now. I just, I took a new job. I can't really speak on it. right now. But I am making a move. I'm really excited.
Starting point is 00:42:07 It's going to be super good for me. It's going to be a super fun job that I'm going to. And yeah, so I'm just going to, I'm going to go and I'm going to enjoy this for my last couple of years. And then, you know, I'll be ready to figure out my next move after that. But for now, this was something that I couldn't pass up and I'm super excited about it. We do us a favor and at least share on social media what this new job is. in a week then when you can't talk about it?
Starting point is 00:42:33 Yeah, I will. It's still diving. Okay. I'm just building something really cool and a really cool location. Oh, super fun. Good for you, man. That's awesome. Now, speaking of diving, total change of subject.
Starting point is 00:42:50 This week on national news, the largest tagged Great White was found on the shelf of Jupiter, Florida. there was a free diver and people were down there filming the free diver and out from the depths of the ocean came the biggest great white I've ever seen in my life. Did you see this picture yet? No, I actually have not. Okay, you got to look at it.
Starting point is 00:43:15 And then the second question is, have you had anything similar happened to you? Have you had any massive sharks come up while you've been diving? I was actually cutting a big steel pipe underwater. And it's a pretty wild concept of how we cut steel underwater. Because we actually cut it with like electricity and fire, but underwater. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:41 So it's a pretty wild, you know, you say like cutting stuff with fire underwater, like people think, like, how does that even work? But it's like it does because of electricity. But so anyways, I'm down there and it's pitch black. It's muddy. I can't see anything. And I'm just cutting this pipe. and then all of a sudden something just smokes me from my back and it just throws me like eight feet and uh it was in an area where there's you know there's a lot of shark all the time
Starting point is 00:44:10 and you know just with how how it hit me how hard it hit me and like i could tell like this thing's huge whatever it is it is way bigger than me but i i you know i'm cutting with fire so like this thing hits me and i just turn around i get up and i can't see anything but i point this thing at him and I just start shooting fireworks at him. And he didn't come back, but, you know, it was, it was there. But after a little while, it just, it didn't come back. So I just had to go back to work. How many feet deep do you go furthest?
Starting point is 00:44:43 The deepest I've been is 175 feet. Holy crap. Which actually, you know, in the diving world, it's actually not even that bad at all. Still. In the recreational scuba diving world, that's a lot. Yeah. I can only imagine the pressure on your body. Holy molly.
Starting point is 00:45:03 But it's fun. I mean, I love it. Every day's a thrill. Every day is something new. Things happen all the time that like just keeps things interesting. And it's just it's one of those jobs like at the end of the day. Like, you know, I come home and I kick my boots off and I just think to myself like, who like what a day that was.
Starting point is 00:45:23 And then go in tomorrow and it's something different. Something else happens. You know, it's not always good things, but, you know, it keeps it keeps my drilling up. So I love it for now. Have you seen the Instagram trend or the TikTok trend right now where boyfriends are telling their girlfriends that they're getting into underwater diving as a career now? Yeah, I did see that. What do you think of it? It's pretty funny.
Starting point is 00:45:51 I actually wanted to do one. I wanted to, like, are you talking about the one, like, where you got the job at ExxonMobil down in the, the golf and like all their reactions are like no like you know they they flip out it's so dangerous well i was thinking about doing one but like calling my mom and telling her because she would just be like oh cool like yeah we'll have fun oh you should but i didn't i'm not a big social media guy so it was like i just never got to it so i probably never will your parents worry about you it's like it's a dangerous job right yeah it is but you know i just you just got to be safe it's one of those jobs that you know you really have to take serious and
Starting point is 00:46:32 you can't cut corners and you have to do it the right way and uh you know it's just i just make sure that everything i do on my end i do it right and the way i'm supposed to do it and then so i mean i can only control so much but i just you know i just have to make sure everything that i can control i do it the right way you say that you want your future spouse to be adventurous enough to dive with you. What if you find a girl that's scared of water, is this a deal breaker? No, I'll talk her into it one day.
Starting point is 00:47:06 You've got to start small. Start small. I have no concerns for you, John Henry. You're a good-looking man who can go to any bar or any place, and they say, what do you do for living? You say, I am an underwater diver, and everybody is going to be intrigued. You have a lot.
Starting point is 00:47:26 going for you and we appreciate you coming on. I wish we could celebrate you because of this next season of your life and this next job that sounds super fun and exciting and you get a smile on your face when you talk about it. So obviously you're pumped about it. But we respect that you can't talk about it now. So please share it when you can talk about it so that we can celebrate you from a distance. I'll let everybody know. But yeah, I am super excited and I can't wait to share it. It's just, it's a weird story right now. So I can't, you know, but when I can, when I can, I will tell everybody and, you know, make it known. He's going to build Atlantis. I wish, but it's just as cool, honestly. I feel like it's going to be like something in Dubai. Anyway,
Starting point is 00:48:17 John Hendry, thank you so much for opening up to us. It really means a lot sharing this, the story. And, well, we hope, yeah, the very. very best for you and can't wait to find out. All right. Yeah. Thank you guys for having me. This was fun. Yeah, we'll talk to you soon. Thanks, John Henry. See you all later. That's been John Henry. Great guy.
Starting point is 00:48:36 A lot of good things coming in his way. Wish him and Kat the best clarity on the breakup, which is good to have because obviously so many of these breakups leave so many unanswered questions. We got the questions answered today. And so until next time, I've been Ben. And I've been Ashley. Bye. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcast on IHartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzor.
Starting point is 00:49:05 And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story.
Starting point is 00:49:52 It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell. And the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught.
Starting point is 00:50:19 And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. This technology is already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice.
Starting point is 00:50:42 Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special Bestie, and you're not going to want to make. miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here! Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart
Starting point is 00:51:04 podcast.

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