The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Popping The Question with Men of Bachelor Nation

Episode Date: November 2, 2024

Former Bachelor's Bob Guiney and Jason Mesnick are guiding you to finding love…again. From what you need to know about dating a divorced man to the biggest red flag they see women ignore when dating. Ready to find love again? Want dating advice?Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh, my God, perfect.

And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. I'm Dr. Joy Hardin-Bradford, host of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. I know how overwhelming it can feel if flying makes you anxious. In session 418 of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, Dr. Angela Neal-Barnett and I discuss flight anxiety.

What is not a norm is to allow it to prevent you from doing the things that you want to do, the things that she were meant to do. Listen to therapy for black girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And of course, the co-hosts of Almost Famous to OGs. And I'm Jason Besdick. I was a bachelor a long, long time ago. and I'm your real estate agent here in Seattle. That's right. And this is I do part to a podcast all about finding love the second time around.

Now, we are going to pop some questions. All right. Are you ready? Let's go. All right, Jason, here we go. First question, if you sleep with a woman on the first date, are you thinking about her now for a long-term relationship? You know, I would. I think the world's so different now.

I think if I didn't, it'd be a super double standard. Oh, agreed. I totally agree with that. And sometimes love at first sight actually exists, right? all right here we go do men get turned off if a woman double text you know like sends another message before you even had a chance to answer the first one uh it depends on how long of a break there is like if she text like you know and and the next text is an hour later probably not but if it's like every two or three minutes might get a little creepy yeah a little much right a little much just

let me answer let me get it done here are on a date should a woman offer to pay uh sure why not I mean, like, think the world's different now. I'm not saying that you'd let her pay, but like if she wants to offer, that's a nice thing, nice gesture. Yeah, I actually agree. My wife would always be like, you know, reaching for her wallet. And I'm like, oh, come on. You're not going to pay.

And she's like, no, but I at least want you to think I'm trying. And I'm like, okay. And I loved that. Like, I thought it was really, really sweet. Ollie, will you listen to the Bob here? Like, sometimes it's off. Oh, here's a good question. And this could be another double standard kind of question.

Do you guys care about a woman? body count. Do you know what that means? Like a woman's number, magic number. Does, do guys care about that? I don't think, like, I mean, unless you're Will Chamberlain and like it's like 10,000 or something like that, you know, right, knows who Will Chamberlain is. But like, otherwise, like, if it's a reasonable, reasonable number, I don't think. Right. Well, I think, too, that could be an age appropriate thing, too, right? Like, if it's, if someone's 22 and they've got, you know, a considerable amount racked up there, and then someone who's, you know, 40 and or 50 or whatever, you know and maybe I don't know maybe that maybe it doesn't matter who knows it's not 10,000

I'm just going to say 10,000 keep it below 10,000 and there shouldn't be any conversation about it, right? Is ghosting ever acceptable and have you ever ghosted? I don't think it's acceptable. I mean, I may have done it, but like here's what's happening now. So my son's at the dating age. He's in college and a girl he was dating last year started ghosting him a little bit and seeing how he reacted to it, it pissed me off. Right. Meaning like, just don't, you can just say, hey, things aren't going well. I'm moving on, whatever it might be. I don't think, like, come on, you don't need to ghost anybody.

That's not cool. Yeah, just be a gentleman, right? I mean, from the standpoint of a guy, I don't know what you'd say to a woman on that one, but I agree. To a lady. Yeah, I would literally say, if it was my son or granny, he's only five. So he doesn't have a phone yet. He's not, he's not ghosting yet.

Thank God. But, yeah, when he gets older, I think I would say, like, come on, dude, just be a gentleman, you know, whatever. She might not be that into you. You never know. Oh, have I ever ghosted. I would never ghost. I think what I would do is I would do what Jason.

I would do what you're saying, Jason. I would be like, hey, this just isn't working out, you know. But I will say back in the day when I, when I dated a lot, I would often make it so that they wanted to break up with me. What did you do? I don't know. I would just be like, I don't know where to odor it. You're like, yeah.

Oh, my God. What's wrong with this guy? No, but it's true. Like I would always try to like not be as like, if I, if I, if I was just kind of over a relationship, I wouldn't be as responsive, but I would still be responsive. But I wouldn't be like, hey, what's going on? I'd love to see you today. I'd be more like, you know, oh, hey, Debbie. Yeah, what's up? How are you been? You know, sorry, can't get together today or whatever. You know, I wouldn't be as, as I guess, available is the best way to put

it. Two questions, specifically, Jason, I know you went through this one. So this is a good one. How soon would you introduce a woman that you're dating to your kids? Right. So we could go to your to your past life, right? To your first stage of your life. Well, I mean, I would actually say in the first stage, I had done it too soon, right? There are times where like I thought mentally I was ready, right, even though I was not ready. So again, like, I think some of that comes with maturity when back then, you know, in my early,

this is my late 20s. I thought I was mature. And there were times where I did introduce somebody to my son way too soon, right? Yeah. But again, if you're on a TV show, like you're going to do it right away because that's in the script. Yeah. They're rolling that out hot. Now, what if your kids don't like a woman that you're dating?

Are you basically like, okay, we're not doing this. This is over. I don't. That's a really tough one. And I've talked to, like, friends, family members about this. I know that, like, even me, my mom brought in my stepdad when we were teenagers. He moved in really, really quick. It wasn't like we didn't like him.

We didn't even know it. Right. Right. Right. I think it's just being, like, and I'm not saying yes or no, right? But like, if somebody is abusive, that's one thing. even if it's verbally abusive right not even physically abusive but knowing that like give it a shot before you jump in deep that's all I'd say yeah because I have jumped in really quick yeah never

works out right backfires on you oh I mean you know that's kind of to that end I mean you know that's like what you and Molly did I think that's so great you stayed in your life I mean I got the same Chris Harrison advice and I love telling people to this day you know I'll be hosting something now and they'll go you know so is this all you I'm like no I never quit my day job. I still do the same thing I've always done. It's just this is kind of the fun side thing I get to do, you know, on the weekends or whatever. But yeah, you know, and that was great Harrison advice. I think your advice might kind of be right there with it and they should listen to what you're talking about because I think that's huge. What's one thing that all women need to know if they want

to have success dating a divorce man? Be patient, I think. Well, be patient. Then ask yourself if this is really what you want because it could be a challenge right i look about what my stepdad went through with us and i look what molly went through molly was like oh this is easy like i love jason's awesome and tie super cute but i think the real part of this of like how is he going to look at me what's the relationship going to be like i think you really this is and only you know that like if you don't love if you never want to have kids and you know that what's it like what is it going to be like if you're dating somebody with a little kid or a kid yeah just ask you all of a sudden it's it's turnkey family right you got to be on you know and you got and you got

also like be attentive to it like you got to care about them like i know tie has got a stepdad for my ex-wife and he's a great stepdad like we get along awesome and making sure that's something you really want but only you truly truly know that you're right yeah i agree i agree with that i think um one of the pieces of advice i would give uh when dating a divorce guy because I was a divorced guy without kids from my previous relationship was, and this is a terrible thing to say, because I do think it's a little double standardish, but getting too comfortable too fast. Yeah, yeah.

Right? So, like, you know, it's almost got to be an accident that you leave something over at the house the first time, right? It can't be that you put your stuff in a drawer and it's almost got to be like, whoa. I mean, because everything to a divorced guy, whether they wanted to be the divorced person or not, you know, whether they wanted to not stand that previous relationship or not, is they don't want to make the same mistakes over again. So it's going to be cautious optimism at best. Well, and I would even say like, be conscious, and I did this,

how much does it affect the kids, right? I mean, like, there was a girl I remember brought around. She was awesome, even though it didn't work out. After it ended, he started asking, like, where did she go? Oh, yeah. And he was so little, Ty was so little that he didn't have any idea, like, who she was, why she was around. but just be conscious that, like, your decisions really impact everybody around you.

God, so true. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other,

but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating.

He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the Iheart radio app,

podcast or wherever you get your podcast. My name is Ed. Everyone say hello Ed. Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin. So like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage. Available now.

Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Get fired up, y'all. Season 2 of Good Game with Sarah Spain is underway. We just welcomed one of my favorite people and an incomparable soccer icon, Megan Rapino to the show, and we had a blast. We talked about her recent 40th birthday celebrations, co-hosting a podcast with her fiancé Sue Bird, watching former teammates retire and more.

Never a dull moment with Pino. Take a listen. What do you miss the most about being a pro athlete? The final. The final and the locker room. I really, really, like, you just, you can't replicate, you can't get back. Showing up to locker room every morning just to shit talk. We've got more incredible guests like the legendary Candace Parker and college superstar AZ Fudd.

I mean, seriously, y'all. The guest list is absolutely stacked for season two. And, you know, we're always going to keep you up to speed on all the news and happenings around the women's sports world as well. So make sure you listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain on the iHeart. radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. All right, now we're going to get into a little bit more of, you know, some a little more

seedy stuff. So what is the biggest red flag that you think women ignore when they're dating? What's the biggest red flag? Yeah, like, what's something that they see from a guy? And like if you're on the, because I actually know what I'm going to say to this one. Okay. And I've seen it and I know it. So, you want me go first?

Go first. I'll go first and let you think of this. Okay. All right. So when a dude just is radio silent for long periods of time and then it's very shady about where they've been, right? Like to me, I was always pretty much an open book. Like, you know, like I was always still Canyon. I would say, you know, I don't ever want anything I'm doing or saying when you're not around to, you know,

make you look like you're the joke or you're the butt of the joke you know so here's here's what i do here's where i'm that here's what i'm that even if it was something that i knew she might not like but it's just like i'm doing this with la boys tonight whatever it was like this brutal honesty to a certain degree that i felt like man when we were still together you know three years later i was like geez she really actually loves me you know because i wasn't exactly i was like i'm going with my guys to do this and it was brazen at times you know but at least she knew where i was and I feel like sometimes people make excuses for people they're dating who all of a sudden they'll be like, you know, oh, yeah, I went out with my buddies last night.

Oh, is that why you never heard from 7 o'clock until today, two in the afternoon, the next day? You know what I mean? It's like, come on, man. If you got a certain rapport going with someone, then, you know, anything out of that has to be a little bit of a red flag, right? Again, like if they want you around, like, I think the biggest red flag, I guess, to me would be like if they're only calling you late at night. Right.

So, like, again, like, if they really, like, if they really, care and they want you around they want you around other times than those those moments exactly yeah yeah they want you around those times too but they actually want to do like other stuff yeah yeah yeah i actually think one of the coolest things and i and i definitely saw this with with my wife was um when i would do stuff with the guys and i would actually like want her to be there like it wasn't i didn't feel that need to have this like guy time you know i was more like why don't you join us we're going to watch the game you know whatever and you know and she'd have the choice, whether she wanted to come or not, you know, but it was like, I always wanted her to

feel that inclusiveness. And, you know, she's often told me that that was one of the things that she loved about our early relationship. That's awesome. Oh, this is a good one. Why do guys send unsolicited dickpicks? And why so quickly? I think that's a new thing, because I can tell you honestly, I have never sent a dick thing. I have never either. Like, I don't like, and again, like, this might be a, maybe it's because we still have phones that don't draw pictures. You probably got a really good point. Like, my phone doesn't have a camera. You can't take a picture with a landline.

I've tried. I don't know. Like it's like, and again, like, maybe this is like, you know, I'm married to somebody from the Midwest. None of that stuff would ever fly. Right, right. Same. I just, and I just wouldn't do it.

Like, part of me was always like, you know, and I guess maybe it's because I, you know, I mean, gosh, I was 32 when I went on The Bachelor. And even then, I remember. remember, I was, I mean, that was 2005 or four, wait, 2003. Oh, my God, when I was the bachelor. And so, I mean, cell phones weren't that good at that time. Yeah, their iPhones weren't there yet. Uh-uh. We didn't have a lot of phones yet. And I mean, I may have even had a flip phone during my bachelor run. I'm not, I can't remember exactly,

but I do remember thinking to myself when people were, I was already, you know, I got married after the bachelor, then divorced, then three years later, Met Canyon. And by that point, I was kind of, you know, well known. And so I wasn't sending dickpicks at that point. That's for sure. So I kind of missed the window of opportunity had I had that been something I wanted to do. You know, it just blows my mind because I like, I personally, I've never even asked my friends about this, but you see it in the media, right? Where like a technical figure has done something like that. I'm like, what the heck is going on in their brain to do that? Right. Honestly, like, don't you know that they can send that picture to like 40 other people go,

hey, this is Bill's, you know, whatever. It's like, that's how I think of it. It's underword. Yeah. Yeah. All right. And I got one more. This is going to be the last question that we have during our speed round, which probably hasn't been as speedy as the producers would have liked because we're talking so much.

But this is what happens when you get two guys actually like each other on a call together who haven't seen each other in a while. Now, you're going to have to go back in the annals for this one, back in the dating annals. Got it. I'm back. All right. Is sexting ever a good idea? And when and when not would you do it? Sexting.

That's a good question. Again, like, I'm going back to, like, I'm married to somebody from the Midwest and this stuff doesn't, this is not something, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, if you are in a trusting, committed relationship, right? Right. With somebody that you trust, like, you trust, right?

It's beyond having kids, right? It's like, there may be a place for something that is, unique but I will say in my personal opinion like things on your cell phone are always findable right I remember that and I can't remember it was it Jennifer Anderson or somebody some celebrity like all these pictures came out and she thought they were private just remember I think about what I'm telling my son right now about what you should post or not post on Instagram or whatnot yeah the internet your phone it freaking lives forever absolutely dude I think about it all the time I tell my nephew that he's 25 now and I was like dude

just, you know, watch what you write out there because, you know, I get it in the heat of the moment you feel this way, but six months from now, it's probably not that big of a deal, but now that's going to follow you around. So just, you know, I think about a lot of time, man, I really do. So I kind of keep my stuff to a very lighthearted, you know, level set medium at all times. There's cute winky face emojis for a reason. That is so true. Well, dude, I love it, man.

I love catching up with you. Thanks for doing the rapid fire question. but maybe I do part two. I think I'm so glad when they called me and said that they were going to have you on it with me. And I was very excited about that. And great to get to meet Gary on the first part of the show and for us to get to catch up with all of this. I mean, anything you learned from my answers today? Because I learned a lot from yours.

Well, I mean, I think, you know, what really took me to is just like talking to people that are like, even though you're a couple years older than me in my, in our age group. But Gary, like, Gary's in a different stage in life. He's retired. He's looking for the word. he kept on using was companionship. Yeah. And I think if even the younger people that are listening or watching right now, think about that word.

Like, what does that mean? He didn't say anything about attraction or jumping on it, jumping somebody's bones or something like that. He talked about companionship. I think that's super. He's looking for a partner. Yeah. And I think that's interesting because I think we all are.

It's just that, you know, when we're in our younger years, we don't really realize. that that's going to be the thing that makes us so happy in the end is is that person that, you know, hopefully we grow old with. And we, you know, we have these experiences with to share and we look back and it's, you know, it's all puppy dogs and rainbows, right? That's right, maybe. We all know that's not always all puppy dogs and rainbows, but, you know. And he's when you have a five-year-old. Right now there's no puppy dog in there. It doesn't seem to ever be a light at the end of the tunnel or a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But I know it's coming. I know it's coming. I swear.

Well, thanks again, buddy. And hey, guys, if you're listening and you're ready to get back out there, but you want some dating. advice or you're ready to find love. We want to hear from you. So call us. Leave a voicemail with your questions. Our number is 1-8444-4-4-4-3-6763. Of course, email us at I-do pod at I-heartradio.com or follow us on the gram at I-do Part 2 pod. I-do part two is an I-heart radio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam.

Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate.

Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. I'm Dr. Joy Hardin-Bradford, host of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. I know how overwhelming it can feel if flying makes you anxious. In session 418 of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, Dr. Angela Neal-Barnett and I discuss flight anxiety. What is not a norm is to allow it to prevent you from doing the things that you want to do.

the things that she were meant to do. Listen to therapy for black girls on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.