The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Ready To Ditch Your Husband? Listen To This First!

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

Celebrity divorce attorney Marilyn Chinitz is talking grey divorce, second-marriage success rates, and what you need to bring to your first meeting with a divorce lawyer!   Ready to ditch your marriage and start fresh? Jennifer Fessler is asking ALL the questions to prepare you for chapter two!   Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe.

That's your home. That's your husband. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This show contains information subject to, but not limited to personal takes, rumors, not so accurate stats, and plenty more. What's up, man? This is your boy, Nav Green, from the Broken Play Podcast. Look, it's the end of the season, the playoffs are here. Guess what?

It ain't the end of your season. You can always tune in with Broken Play Podcasts with Nav Green on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Not a team who ain't going to the playoffs. Chee, it's time to rebuild. Listen to Broken Play with Nav Green from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the Iheart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or whatever you get your podcast. This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather. In 1995, my neighbor and a trainer disappeared from a commune.

Those nature and trees and praying and drugs. So no, I am not your guru. Back then, I lied to everybody. They have had this case for 30 years. I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth. Listen to the red weather on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Whether it is getting swatted or just hateful messages online, there is a lot of harm and even just reading the comments. That's cybersecurity expert Camille Stewart Gloucester on the Therapy for Black Girls podcast.

Every season is a chance to grow. And the Therapy for Black Girls podcast is here to walk with you. I'm Dr. Joy Harden-Brandford, and each week we dive into real conversations that help you move with more clarity and confidence. This episode, we're breaking down what really happens to your information online and how to protect yourself with intention. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is it's I Do Heart 2. I'm back, your celebrity mentor, Jennifer Fessler, and Valentine's Day is around the corner. and some of you may hate your husband's guts.

If that's the case, this is the episode for you. We are bringing an incredible divorce attorney. Her name is Marilyn Chinitz, and she's been working in the field for over 35 years. You may have seen her on this day show on 2020. She's a celebrity divorce attorney. Marilyn, this is I do part two, but some of our listeners might be contemplating divorce,

and I want to pick your brain about the gray divorce or the silver divorce. Why is a divorce attorney, are we seeing more and more couples divorcing when they are 55 plus? Okay, so gray divorce, really unfortunate. I married 40 years. Wow. Congratulations. This is when your life really kind of takes hold and it's really sad when it comes to an ending. Yeah.

Like the rug comes out. and a lot of particularly women, we're not expecting it. So divorce doesn't really happen, boom, all at once. It kind of dies a death over a period of time, and what contributes to that? Lack of interest, you no longer communicate, you are living parallel lives, and it doesn't just happen at once, it really does take time. And then all of a sudden, someone wakes up and they said, you know what? I've got my last trunch.

I've got another 20 years. I'm miserably unhappy. I don't want to stay that way. Yeah. And so I want to make changes. Yeah. I feel like I'm doing this 41 years. Divorce really is not necessarily an ending.

I think it could be an addict. I love that. I mean by that. If a marriage is dead and you two are miserable, and even though you haven't planned for it. It does offer you an opportunity to kind of reconnect with yourself. There are so many things that happen that I see. I do a luncheon every year for 60 women. I've been doing it literally for probably about 20 years. And they get there at 12, they leave at 5. And last year,

I did it at a wonderful restaurant downtown. And the purpose of that, their former clients, their current clients, their presidents of major company, plastic surgeons, decorators, but it gives them an opportunity to meet each other and to see that there is really life and you can recreate yourself in so many different ways. And that's why I said I'd love to turn the table around and interview you because I look at you and you have a career in fashion and shoe. You have a career in TV. So to me, I think there's nothing better than that recreating.

So I'm 70 now next month. And I'm thinking about not retiring because I'm not interested in doing that. But how do I recreate myself? How do I do often different things? Well, first, and most importantly, wow, 70? Oh, 70. So on another episode, you will tell us how one does that because 70 looks unbelievable on you, lady. That is crazy.

Thank you. You're very welcome. Yeah, it shows. Both professionals, two adorable grandchildren. Wow. Okay, well, we are going to have to bring you back so you can help us get there. I'm going to be to come. So I think divorce is sad for a lot of reasons because you really think that the retirement years are the time that you're going to enjoy the wealth, number one, that you created.

Right, right. You built such a. a significant marital estate or a marital estate doesn't have to be significant. And you expected that you were perhaps going to retire. Right. You were going to travel. You were going to buy something or explore things and all of a sudden you find that you're alone. Yeah. Yeah. That's hard. But I also think marriage takes a lot of work. And we do it in our everyday lives. We work hard. I work hard as a lawyer, you work hard in everything that you do, it does take a lot of work. Yeah, you've got to invest that time. You can't wake up all of a sudden say, oh, boy,

you know, all these years passed and yeah, I'm miserable. If you were miserable on, then you've got to take hold of what's going on and take yourself. I love how you're talking about that reinvention. It's true. I, you know, my shoe company, I started a shoe company at 50. I got on Housewives at 53 and never felt more excited or happier about a career, right? I'm 57 now. Yeah, you're gorgeous. That's crazy. Well, thank you.

Let's just keep doing this all day. Yes, exactly. Mutual admiration society. Well, but the thing is, for me, I don't know, it was, I'm married and I had that support when I started to reinvent myself, you know, emotional, mental. and financial. But women, I think, correct me if I'm wrong, probably have a harder time. Only a lot of times they're not in the same place career-wise, right?

And so they don't have reinventing themselves may mean reinventing themselves from being a mother and a wife as opposed to, you know, a lot of times. They don't have that support system in place. Right. But it seems that more women are now, you tell me, but are now interested in divorcing at a later age. They are for a lot of reasons. Some of them have been in very, very controlling marriages, and they feel like the oxygen has been taken out of them, and they don't want to live like that anymore.

And those are women who have lived a very good life, and there's a lot of money there. But it doesn't always have to be that there's a lot of money. If you look at some people like Ariana Huffington, she had a terrible marriage, a terrible marriage and a terrible divorce, and look how she recreated herself. Huffington Post was after that? Yeah.

Wow, I didn't know that. That's incredible. Diane von Furstenberg, right? She was broke at age 30 and then built this empire. Wow. So, you know, there are really sad stories where people really don't have anything. I give those women in particular, tremendous credit. And the service that I have to bring to my client,

is to give them that empowerment, hence that luncheon. Yeah, I love that. I would love to attend that. So in terms of the finances, though, how do you guide women financially? I know it's a big question. Not how do you guide them, but like what are the mistakes you tell them to look out for financially when they're preparing for divorce? I like to do programs for women before they get divorced.

And it's usually younger women who come, you know, I may have done their prenups, And then we have these really good lunch and learned. And you want to be in the know. A lot of women stay totally removed from the finances. The biggest mistake you can make. Right. You want to be in the no. You're asked to sign a joint tax return.

Look at the tax return. Make a copy of it. You'll sign it maybe, I'm sure. But you want to look at it afterwards. Hey, I didn't know. What's that taxable interest? What's that deduction? you've got a good group of professionals around you.

You can have your own account and you can have your own financial person. And so you want to look at your credit card statements. How much do I spend every month? What am I spending on? What are you spending on? You want to look at what assets do we have? We have this magnificent home in the Hamptons. We paid $20 million for it.

But the real key question is, how much is my mortgage? Is my mortgage 15 million? So I only have equity of $5 million. You don't want to wake up years later. And my God, that's like a time bond. That's like, oh, my God, what happened? Right. Don't put yourself in that position.

You need to be in the know all along. And why shouldn't you? Yeah. Why shouldn't you be the partner that this person married? And I don't want to focus on women, but very often it is the woman. Sure. she's busy. If she's not working, she is working. She's raising a family. It's me. Listen, I'm guilty of it. Not as much anymore. And I'm on the meetings we have with our finance guy. But it's very easy for me to sort of bury my head in the sand because numbers and taxes and, you know, pensions and all of that is very uninteresting to me. And shame on me because it's my life. We all do it.

Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. I have a CD coming. My husband will call me. We have a CD that's due now. What do you want to do? Well, he's learned to ask me, what do you want to do? Oh, I love that.

But you have to be aware of things. So that, to me, is one of the important things. Right. I like the idea of befriending, you know, a financial person, even an attorney. I am a good friend. I like the idea of empowering yourself, of course, with knowledge, right? So you don't wake up one day and the blanket is taken off and there you are. I've had lots of friends that have gone through that.

And also, I'm curious about if you have a pre-up, and I have many friends that also have a pre-up, how do you handle that so that you are taking care of? So in other words, do you update it every few years? This is a good question. That's a really good question. Most people never look at that pre-up after it's signed. and that is such a mistake. So I'll give you an example.

I have a client. At the time that she signed her pre-nut, the husband was worth $100 million. Under the terms of the pre-not, very unfair, she got $10 million as a distributed payment, plus other people. By the time they're getting divorced now, he's worth $700 million.

Oh, my God. She's getting $10 million, But that almost sounds unconscionable. She never looked at the prena. She never ever discussed, hey, we're buying all these properties. How come they're in your name only? Why can't we put it in joint names? Wow.

So now we have a situation where she's got a very unfair prena. He knows it. So we're negotiating, but not to where she needs to be. that what a cautionary tale not i mean 10 million dollars a lot of most people would think that's well right and it's a judge and so if you go into court and you say your honor it's unconscionable the judge probably doesn't have that money appreciated in value right because partly of her efforts and the court's going to say well how much is she getting well under the agreement 10 million but that's unconscionable and of course but she's like he's like crime me a river yeah crime of a river

I made 200 and I have four kids and my wife manages very well. Right. It's unrealistic. In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off.

you're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband. To keep this secret for so many years, he's like a seasoned pro. This is a story about the end of a marriage, but it's also the story of one woman who was done living in the dark.

You're a dangerous person who prays on vulnerable and trusting people. Your creditor might go up and good. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 On the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken?

But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years' experience, helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught the name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy as in compassion. If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's

underneath, listen to the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. This show contains information subject to, but not limited to personal takes, rumors, not so accurate stats, and plenty more. What's up, man? This is your boy, Nav Green from the Broken Play podcast. Look, it's the end of the season, the playoffs of here. But guess what? It ain't the end of your season. You can always tune in with Broken Play Podcasts with Nav Green on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Another team who ain't going to the playoffs. The Chief.

Oh, it's a rap. It's time to rebuild. Who's your MVP right now then? Drake May up there. Josh Allen up there still. Oh, my boy, Matthew Stafford. Where did he? Both Knicks at.

He ain't too far behind. He did all this talking. What Matthew Stafford is doing statistically, bro, is crazy. Bro, you know I ain't no Josh Allen fan. But Matthew Stafford got. Better weapon. Caleb Williams. Hey, he should be in that conversation.

In what conversation? He should be in it. Listen to Broken Play with Navgreen from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the Iheart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or whatever you get your podcast. This is Ryder Strong and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather. It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea. In 1995, my neighbor and a trainer disappeared from a commune. It was hard to wrap your head around.

It was nature. trees and praying and drugs. So no, I am not your guru. And back then, I lied to my parents, I lied to police, I lied to everybody. There were years right in where I could not say your name. I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists, whomever I can, to try to find out what actually happened. Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend? They have had this case for 30 years. I'll teach you sons of a bitch to come around her in my wife. Boom, boom, this is the red weather. Listen to the red weather on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

So now you're 5, 10, 20 years into the marriage. I would think that if the marriage is getting rocky, it's harder to convince your partner to renegotiate. Don't wait that long. So I just did a post not. They're happily married. and she was smart. She pulled up the pre-knit. And she said, look, this isn't fair.

Yeah. And he said, seven properties. Not one is in my name. And he said, you know what? You're absolutely right. So we now renegotiated everything. She's set now for 10 lives. Wow.

That's what you have to do. You have to be in the know. You have to be knowledgeable. And you have to care enough about that yourself to make that inquiry. Such good advice. I hope our listeners are taking notes. I think it's great advice. How often, though, do you see couples reconcile?

Just out of curiosity, because, like, during the divorce process, because that's what happened to me. I was separated for like a year and a half. And I had a boyfriend, he had a girlfriend. We were moving on. We had had infidelity in our marriage. And we just, for whatever reason, it just, neither one of us wanted, really, to be, for whatever reason, because we love.

love each other. And, and I think that's a great story. I really do. Thank you. I mean, I used to, I used to say, well, I do say that like, I used to cheat on my boyfriend and meet my husband. Yeah, right. Right. Like, like, like, and it was so ridiculous. Does it happen often? Do you find that, you know, once it doesn't happen often? It doesn't. It doesn't. It's very rarely. Yeah. And unfortunately, because so much damage is done and there's a lack of communication. So you loved your husband. He loved you. Yeah. Just the circumstance. has presented itself that drove that way. You know, it was unfortunate.

Yeah. You know what I think, Marilyn? It was a little fortunate. Our marriage changed after that separation. Well, of course it did. So both. Yeah. Yeah.

And, you know, sometimes, listen, 40 years of marriage, it's not like, oh, my God, it's wonderful. Right. It's really rocky moments. Sure. And there are moments where you're screaming and yelling. There are moments where, you know, you're living apart from each other, whether it's a month or a week or whatever, you've got to recalibrate.

You've got to restart. Yeah, do you think that when you say that you have to live apart, you of course have heard of the sleep divorce where a couple stop sleeping in, I guess, the same room? Is that a good thing? Or do you think that's like a hop-skip jump away from divorce? I don't think it's bad at all. Yeah.

And, you know, I live in Connecticut, but I could no longer do the commute back and forth. And I said to my husband, I love you. Our kids are not out of the house, but I can't do this anymore. 11 o'clock at night, I'm getting off the train with my suitcase, my briefcase, not for me. Yeah. So I put a little studio in the city, and I walk to work. Yeah. He comes in, we go to the theater.

That separation is great. I love that because we don't sleep in separate rooms. My husband is constantly traveling. I travel a lot when he's, he doesn't, he goes into the office, even when he's home, he's in his home office. We're not on top of each other ever. And I think that that has been so helpful. Yes.

And you know what it is? You feel secure in your marriage. If you feel secure in your marriage, you don't get all upset. Yeah. And having that space, in my view, should be encouraged. My husband would take trips with his friends. He's born in Sweden. They do these wonderful ski trips they used to do.

with a group of friends. That's great. I bike with a group of judges and matrimonial lawyers. We have gone to Italy. We've gone to Czech Republic, Germany, Austria. Wow. And you want your partner to feel stimulated, that you want them to be happy for you that you're happy and that you're intended. And I think that's, you know, that's important. I think that, well, that sort of answers that the question I have, you know, living in, what is it called? Living apart together, LAT couples or something. You live in different states. Like some celebrities do that.

Yeah, you don't think that's a bit much. I think that's a little, although I am because I'm in New York. He's in Connecticut. Yeah, but it's a five-minute train line. But you don't want to have too much distance. You know, you want to have just enough that you are independent. And you can, if you're independent in your marriage, but dependent on each other's love, you're going to have a good marriage.

Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that. I mean, the truth is, I don't make the kind of money that my husband makes. The money I'm bringing in, it's good, especially for someone who started a career later in life, but it doesn't pay our mortgages. It gives you independence. Yes, exactly. And I'm sure he really appreciates. It does.

Yes, he does. It's true. Tell me something that you think people assume about divorce that's not true. That it's the ending. that I'm never going to find somebody. This is a miserable way for me to end my life. And I think that is the biggest bunch of crap. Yeah, I love that.

It really doesn't have to be right. No, and I say it's not an ending. It's an edit. And you've got to learn. People have to learn how to pivot. You know, we're very blessed. I say, thank you, God, every day. Me too.

Children are helping my grandchildren. I work. I make money. Every day is a blessing. And if you have that attitude, then you also say, okay, I'm a big believer in having a notebook. I write down things that I've got to get done. And I encourage clients to do that because they get lost in their depression. Right.

Take your book. Write down five things you want to get done this week. And the satisfaction of crossing off the things that you accomplished are great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, another step. Yeah. In terms of writing things down and being prepared, what advice do you give women before they head into your office, right? What would you say that they need to get together,

you know, have at their fingertips before sitting down with you? So when I said, be in the no. Yeah. You need to get all the financial information you can get your hands on. One of the most revealing things, you know, nobody's going to go through years of tax returns or years due credit cards. Did you and your husband get a mortgage recently? Did you refinance a mortgage recently? Did you buy some car recently? Because if you did and you got financing, you put on that financial statement, your assets and your income. Right.

Some information. Right. Usually people augment that. They don't minimize it because they want to get the loan. But it's a great way to find out information, you know, nicely, innocently. Also, go with your husband to a trust in the state attorney. You're entitled to know, how am I going to be protected? God forbid you die. How are the children and I going to be protected? And in that forum, it's not threatening.

It's not a divorce. It's sharing of information. So there are different ways that you could get information without triggering an awareness. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. And I would think also it, once you get into the attorney's office, listen, the clock is running. And maybe if you're prepped, if, you know, the attorney says, we need this, we need this, I have it. I have come prepared. I always, you know, when a client walks in and says, look, this is what my husband does. He's a hedge fund manager. Here are the assets, list them out in a balance sheet. It's great because I have. have a baseline that we can start fun. But there are a lot of

clients who come in and say, I have no idea. Right. I don't even have my own bank account. My own bank account. What I have is access to a credit card I can spend $200,000 a month. Yeah. Wow. But not one bank account.

No assets in their name. Totally vulnerable. And that's why I said before you ever, ever, talk about divorce, talk about what you know. Here's what I know. I know I have a CD for this amount. I know we have a retirement account. I know the value of my house. I found out that the mortgages is why? Because every time the mail comes in, I open it. I screenshot it. Nobody questions me because

why it's it's mail that comes to both of us. Yeah. And so you can do all of these things, not because you're preparing for divorce, but because you are a partner entitled to that information. Yeah, right. I mean, that makes sense. If you have a business, you were running a business, and would you not open the mail and see what's going on to see if the bills were paid,

to see what credit line is, to see what new customers we have, that would be unimaginable. You are running a business. Right. You're running a household, you're running children, and then you're running a business. Right.

You know it as that. You're going to make sure that you're knowledgeable about it. Yeah, that makes sense. You know, you mentioned screenshoting. I'm just thinking about like we're in such a digital age right now. And we put so much of our lives onto social media. Yeah. And how much, what do you think?

What do you think is, is there anything not smart to share on social media? A lot. A lot. Really? Social media can be very deceptive, right? I have Instagram, you have Instagram. I keep it to the people that I know, you know, friends and close people. But if you're public, you want to be careful about what you're putting out there.

If you're getting divorce, you want to be even more careful. So I have had clients who post everything. They post travel with their girlfriends. Their girlfriends post gifts that they received. and the spouse gets access to that. So when a spouse says, hey, I didn't go anywhere, I didn't travel, I was traveling for business, I don't have a girlfriend, all of a sudden you have examples and evidence. Right.

That is a lie. Right. And so you have to be careful about what you put in out there. Right. For people sometimes who put out, and they're sharers, right? It's not because they're show off, they're just sharers. So they put out information about their travels and the beautiful hotels and the gifts that they receive. And then it's putting out way too much information because not everybody is happy for you.

And you want to share with people who are happy with you. So in terms of a divorce litigation, there's a lot of evidence in that social media. That's so interesting. And not only that, not only Instagram, Facebook, but we can get access to your emails. We can get access to your digital. So if I serve a subpoena and I want electronic discovery and I ask for a court order to download your computer,

what a mess. I can image what was on your computer and you think you deleted everything. It lives on the server until you overdo it and then it wipes it out, but that takes a long time. But that information during the course of a discovery, In the discovery in a divorce case is accessible. In the middle of the night,

Saskia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband.

So keep this secret for so many years. He's like a seasoned pro. This is a story about the end of a marriage, but it's also the story of one woman who was done living in the dark. You're a dangerous person who prays unvulnerable and trusting people. You're creditor, Michael Levin Good. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever. wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey there, this is Dr. Jesse Mills, director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health and host of the mailroom podcast. Each January guys everywhere make the same resolutions. Get stronger, work harder, fix, what's broken. But what if the real work isn't physical at all? To kick off the new year, I sat down with Dr. Steve Polter, a psychologist with over 30 years experience,

helping men unpack shame, anxiety, and emotional pain they were never taught the name. In a powerful two-part conversation, we discuss why men aren't emotionally bulletproof, why shame hides in plain sight, and how real strength comes from listening to yourself and to others. Guys who are toxic, they're immature, or they've got something they just haven't resolved. Once that gets resolved, then there comes empathy, as in compassion. If you want this to be the year, you stop powering through pain and start understanding what's underneath, listen to the mailroom on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you.

you get your favorite shows. This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather. It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea. In 1995, my neighbor and a trainer disappeared from a commune. It was hard to wrap your head around. It was nature and trees and praying and drugs. So no, I am not your guru. And back then, I lied to my parents.

I lied to police. I lied to everybody. There were years right in where I could not say your name. I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California, interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

whomever I can, to try to find out what actually happened. Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend? They have had this case for 30 years. I'll teach you sons of a bitch to come around.

You're in my wife. Boom, boom. This is The Red Weather. Listen to the Red Weather. radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This show contains information subject to, but not limited to personal takes, rumors, not so accurate stats, and plenty more. What's up, man?

This is your boy, Nav Green from the Broken Play Podcast. Look, it's the end of the season, the playoffs are here. But guess what? It ain't the end of your season. You can always tune in with Broken Play Podcasts with Nav Green on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Not a team who ain't going to the playoffs. The cheese. What's a rap?

It's time to rebuild. Who your MVP right now, then? Drake May up there, Josh Allen up there still. Oh, my boy, Matthew Stafford. Where did his phone Nick's at? He ain't too far behind. He did all this talk about. What Matthew Stafford is doing statistically, bro, is crazy.

Bro, you know I ain't no Josh Allen fan, but Matthew Stafford got better weapon. Caleb Williams. Hey, he should be in that conversation. In what conversation? He should be in it. Listen to broken play with Nav Green from the Black Effect podcast network on the iHeart

Radio app. Apple Podcasts or whatever you get your podcast. Let's say you're getting ready for divorce and can you go and get all of your stuff wiped out? Can you take your computer at the Apple store? Well, you know what? A good forensic accountant knows that you did that.

So they can say... They can image your computer and say it got wiped out. You did that intentionally. Now, okay, so you did. What's the court going to infer that there was something wrong? but very hard to prove what was wrong, right? Right.

So you would suggest doing that? I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just saying that it can be done. Okay. But as I just said, you could retrieve, like you think you wiped it out. Yeah. But if it lives on the server, it can be retreated. Got it.

So that's a very technical question for good forensic investigators. We used electronic discovery. We use those who are in the know. I had a case many years ago. It was a terrible custody case. It represented the father. And the mother had the children put a flash drive into the father's computer. He had a girlfriend.

And the kids innocently were on his computer plane. Oh, God. And they came across these photographs. Oh, my God. They compromising. They shared it when they went home. Daddy has a girlfriend. Well, what pictures did you see?

And innocently said, and she taught them how to use the flash drive. Next week after, you know, their access, they put the flash drive and all the pictures came down. Oh, my God. And so we served, we found out, we served a subpoena to retrieve her computer. We saw that she had, you know, had them download every year. think. That created really significant problems. A, it's criminal offense. B, she could have lost the custody of her children. Wow. Wow. So you've got to be careful about what you do. If you're getting a divorce, you do it in a dignified way. And if you have a good lawyer, they know exactly

what to do. They know what allows them to do. They're aggressive. They can go after the information. Yeah. You can't stop it. I have a question. If someone, I think, is it different in every state? Does infidelity count to a judge if you're getting divorced? Not in New York. It doesn't. You can screw 16 elephants and the court couldn't hear.

No. You know, it's useful. The only time they care is something is so egregious. Like there was a case where the husband thought the wife was having an affair and the whole case was about this affair. but he lost control. He took dumbbells and he beat her nearly to death, her daughter.

And in that case, you know, fault was so egregious that the court awarded him zero. And he wanted money for a criminal attorney because he was charged and he didn't get a penny. So in New York, no fault.

Most of the states now are no fault and for good reason. Yeah, yeah. It's not about how are we going to protect you financially. How are we going to protect? Why is it, you know, divorce is hard, right? Obviously, we're talking about this. There's a lot to it. Why do you think that second marriages, I've heard that the divorce rate is even higher? First of all, is that true? And why do you think

that is? I think there's sometimes some complications with a second marriage. Number one, you have blended families. And sometimes you have a lot of conflict in those blended families. Right. That breeds a lot of animosity, a lot of stress, and that's difficult. You also have financial issues because you want to protect your children from your first marriage, and that may not sit well with your second wife. Right. On the other hand, you may have gotten out of a really bad marriage,

and now you really want to enjoy your life. So I've seen second marriages work brilliantly, beautifully, because they really appreciate the person, and they may not have appreciated the spouse because it was stressed with starting a business and children, but they're in a different place now. So it really varies. It depends. Yeah.

I mean, you said you've been married over 40 years, Maryland? This year is 40. So this year I'm turning 70, celebrating 40 years of marriage. My daughter's turning 35. My son is getting married in Italy. Wow. Wow. Wow.

All good stuff. Yes, that's what do you think, I mean, I know this is, the question is maybe a little cliche, but I want to know what you, what do you advise, what do you talk to your kids about in terms of how to keep a marriage strong? You know, it's really interesting. I never talked to them about it, ever. So my daughter got married, it's seven years with two kids. She didn't want a pre-na, which was interesting for me.

I think they grew up in a home and an environment that taught them. It was nothing I had to say. They saw it by example. What a blessing. And that was the great. And, you know, it's interesting. My parents were Holocaust survivors. And we grew up with the most amazing, loving, dedicated parents.

And I learned so much from them how my mother really dedicated her life to her kids. And even though I worked, that was and is my first and most important priority. Yeah. I see that with my two sisters who have raised their families and their children. And I think it's generational. You know, when you set a good example, you learn. Right. Better than anyone telling you.

Yeah. Would you have preferred that your daughter had a pre-nep? So, which I think it's especially like on a first marriage, it's such a delicate topic, right? But so I don't know, let's not make it specific to your daughter. Do you suggest that women get a pre-up?

Is this something that you would suggest going in? Yeah, I happen to dislike prenups for a whole host of reason because they can be very unfair, the example that gave you. Right. They're important in second marriages because you have accumulated a lot of wealth.

Yeah. But your partner did not earn. Right. And you may want to protect that for your children. And so you can be as generous as you want during the marriage, but if things go south, in a second marriage, those assets deserve to be protected. But you have to be there also. On the other hand, prenups are good, why?

Sometimes, and I'll segue because Kelly gave us permission. Let's first tell our listeners. So, by the way, you actually worked. with our very own Kelly Ben-Simon on the disillusion of her engagement. Yes. And so what I was going to say is pre-nuts can be really good because you can find out financial information that you didn't know. Yeah.

So if you're with someone and every weekend you go out to this big beautiful house in Bridge Hampton, he picks you up in a Ferrari, you drive out there, you've gone to the south of France, you've gone to Sardinia for vacation, you have this incredible lifestyle, and you think he's got a lot of money. But then all of a sudden you see that balance sheet when you're doing a pre-nop and you go, wait a minute, I thought you own that house. You're renting it?

I thought that car was right. You've got a lease on it. facade, right. So you're getting financial information. Yeah. And then Kelly, who was so gorgeous and so full of life and a lovely, devoted mother. The best.

built a lot in her life. Yes. And she had found a man that she wanted to marry. And the first thing we said, he got a lawyer and I said, I need his statement of net worth. Well, okay, well, we'll get back to you. And then a week passed and I said, I need the statement of net worth. I'm drafting agreement. I have to have that information.

Make a long story short, he refused to provide any financial information. information. Red flag. Red, red, red. So I said to her, what are you doing? Yeah. If someone is not being forthcoming now, before you're married, sure. I can guarantee you you're never going to have the transparency during the marriage. But more importantly, if he's not prepared to show you what he has, what he's earning, then he's looking to you to support him.

Yeah. Wow. That should not work for you. And she's smart. And it was hard. And she said, oh, my God, Marilyn, absolutely, you're right. Yeah. And that was a smart move. Because you look at red flags. You look at what's out there that I'm not getting the information on.

If I'm not getting the information on when we're in love, I'm certainly not going to get it when we're married. Yeah. Wow. So I just think this is invaluable. invaluable. I hope that a lot of our listeners catch this particular episode. And it was fun. And it was fun. And I hope, I don't know, have you ever written a book? Well, you know what? It's funny because I am writing two books. I've done a proposal for one, and I'm doing a children's book.

My son and I, it came to us while we were driving in the car together. He's 30 years old. and we started talking about something, and boom, the light went off and we said, let's do a children's book. Wow. But the other book, it's basically shut up and settle. I love that. That's a great title. Yeah. So I'm, I got a, I got to get up a three in the morning.

I'm, you know, it's like I got to find that little time. But I'll get there. Well, I mean, I'm not planning on getting divorced, but I will buy it. My wonderful client just came out with a fabulous book called Strangers. Bell Burden. It's made the New York Times bestseller list. And she wrote a book about her divorce. And I'm going to tutor a horn because it's a book

that people should read. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So yeah, there's a lot of information. But I think, you know, you want to talk to people that will share. Sharing a lot of women share. And that's a great thing.

And I like those women because you can support your advice. and I think that's important. I do too. I find that I, friendships now is, as I've gotten older, I'm a little, I'm,

you know, I'm a little pickier, but I definitely, but I definitely am drawn to women that share because I'm such a share and I find that that kind of vulnerability

is how I connect. And if I'm not getting that back, it's, then you're, you know, you're very nice, but you're at a distance. Yep,

that's exactly right. For the first, the person really is open and appreciates you and vice versa. Yes. And I agree. The old do I get, I want my people who are around me to be my special people. Yes, me too, me too. Those friendships that are really not friendships, I put them in a different category.

Friendly. We're friendly. Yeah, they're just in a different category. Yeah. Well, Marilyn, thank you so much for coming in. Oh, I love to talk to you. It's great to meet you. Thank you.

Please be well. Thank you. So are you trying to bounce back in your chapter two after divorce? Do you need some help? Call us or email us. All the info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review the podcast.

I do part two. And I Heart Radio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze. Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop. What was on his screen would change Saskia's life. forever. I said, I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing. And immediately, the mask came off. You're supposed to be safe. That's your home. That's your husband. Listen to Betrayal Season 5 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather. In 1995, my neighbor and a trainer disappeared from a commune. It was nature and trees and praying and drugs. So no, I am not your guru. Back then, I lied to everybody. They have had this case for 30 years. I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth. Listen to the red weather on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This show contains information subject to, but not limited to personal takes, rumors, not so accurate stats, and plenty more.

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