The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Rolling in the Grief with Kelley Flanagan

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

Times have been tough for so many recently, and former “Bachelor” star Kelley Flanagan is no different. She opens up in an emotional conversation about losing her father and going through a breakup with a cheating ex all at the same time. She reveals if she’d ever do “The Bachelorette” and shares if ex Peter Weber has been in touch. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Love guest day. Today it is Kelly Flanagan. You know that you guys know her from Peter Weber's season from back in 2020. And she was eliminated in week seven. but then she dated Peter once or twice, maybe three times. We'll ask about it. Kelly, welcome to the show. And we just wanted to extend our sincere condolences by the passing of your dad less than a month ago.

We're so, so sorry. I just can't imagine what you're going through. Yeah. Thank you guys. Good to be on here. Yeah, it's been, my life has been in shambles the past couple of months. So hopefully we get into that. but it's it's definitely been a lot.

What do you? Okay. I think with interviews like with people like you, and it's interesting, I remember, I think it wasn't your last time on the show, but your very first time on the show was during COVID. I remember exactly where I was sitting.

I remember a lot of what we talked about. And now when we interview people like you who have, you know, a few years removed from the show, obviously been through a lot, which we'll dive into. I think,

one of the most helpful things for listeners is like try to give a relatability and a perspective because you're probably going through a lot of stuff that people are going through listening to it maybe not all at the same time but like people are going to be able to relate so when you say shambles what do you like mean by that because this has been a this is like a the last month for you I cannot imagine and I don't have words to like try to like console but like I just can't imagine and so can you explain shambles a little bit yeah um and don't be afraid to cry like i'm gonna probably cry too same i've i've literally i've been um trying to figure out like when i could actually

come out and speak about it because i oh um i thought i was like cool and i was going to be like all right no it's like the second anybody like you're like okay i can handle it and then like words start trying to come out of your mouth and i i can't do it either Yeah, no, it's tough. So, I, one, I'll start with this because this doesn't make me cry. I went through a really, really bad breakup, and I was kind of in a position where I was like, I looked back in the information that I was finding out a lot through social media. I have never had this amount of people reach out to me to tell me, like, who I was dating

and like what was going on behind my backs or who they were truly. And I think that's just like a really, really confusing state because I was with this person for almost like a year and a half and I was just like I in my own head gathered like, oh, this is who that person is. And then after the fact when I started figuring out like the cheating and all of that stuff, like what he was doing behind my back, that's like minuscule to what I found out. Who I found out like what was going on and who he truly was was a situation where it's probably. the most confusing state of mind you'll ever be in because you've convinced yourself of like, I know this person. I've been with this person. I was living with this person. And to find out like all of it or not all of it, but a lot of it was like not true and a lie, it definitely messes with your head. And I'll sit here and say with that, it's more of like, it's a hard breakup at first

because the confusion and like you're in your head and you're like what just happened but then in the long run you look back and you're like who thank god like that wasn't my life thank god i got out of that situation um so that was really hard for me and if you guys want me to go more into that I can but then the second thing that happened is like right when that was going on as well my father got sick and um I was just like whoa what's going on what's going on and I always knew my dad was a bit older, but, like, we were just here with him for Thanksgiving. And, like, I remember he kept saying, like, I'm super cold. I'm super cold. We're out to dinner. But he was, like, in high spirits and, like, everything was good. Um, and then we got a call that, like,

he was in the hospital. And we're like, whoa, like, what's going on? So I immediately, I was unfortunately in Chicago for a funeral. Um, and so I had to, like, immediately fly down and for the next three weeks, we were in the hospital with him. And he had double pneumonia. and the rhino virus, I think. So it was just like a huge hit on him. And then we just kind of kept thinking, we're like, is there a recovery to this? Is there a full recovery to this?

Like, what's going to happen? And those three weeks were, they were hard. But also I'm like really, really grateful for them. Oh, God, God. God, I thought I was going to be able to hold it together. But I was grateful for those three weeks because, like, we got to, like, spend, like, precious time with him and, like, oh, my God, I can't. Oh, it's okay. We were able to, like, tell him how much we appreciated him and how great he was.

and like just how much we like valued him as like a father and also like a person um and then every day was like hard because he was in such a fragile state in that hospital and like us kids were like taking shifts and the smallest thing like the smallest thing could have um made him pass so we were like on top of it like you have five out of the six kids are attorneys so you have like a bunch of attorneys in a room but we don't know anything medical and we're just like trying to figure it out like we learned about vitals we learned about like medications and like them interacting like his daily medication some of them were interacting with the medication that he needed in the hospital and so we're like sitting there calling people nurses doctors family friends like it's so

crazy because I can't even tell you how many people on social media, like when I was doing my post, reached out to me, and they're like, watch for this, watch for that, like, helping me. And I was like, whoa, this is crazy. Like, social media is a very, very powerful place. And a lot of other people, like, experience the same thing that he was going through. Like, I remember one message was, they're like, listen, my grandpa, I think it was, is like, 90 years old had double pneumonia, was able to, like, come back from it. And we're like, damn okay so it like gives you hope um but yeah it was it was a tough three weeks of us like being with him and i'm not going to lie it's like exhausting because you're in fight or flight

like if something happens you're like oh my god am i responsible what do i do um but i really appreciate like those three weeks like spending with him you you mentioned um the rhino virus what is that i don't know i think it's like a new thing um Whether it's the flu, whether it's similar to COVID, I think it's something along those lines. But I think it's a little bit newer. I'll say this. I'm in a weird emotional state myself right now. We're like two weeks away from having a little girl.

So I'm like on the edge of breaking most moments. I'm sitting here and I'm watching you. and like it's not fun obviously to come on an interview and cry like you're apologizing you shouldn't apologize at all that's kind of why we do it and I'm also thinking what better testimony well to have a daughter like you but then to know that your daughter is so emotional over your like passing like what better way to like remember him yeah and what better way to like you know if you just came on here like yeah that was really tough that sucked um do you want to talk about a breakup like it's i just want to tell you like this is this is uh an incredible like testament to him

as a father and as a person that this is what your reaction is then i truly like have never met anyone him and I know a lot of people say that and they're like my father was the best this that and the other but like that man like what he like gave us provided for us like he would like literally never see no to us like one of the things he said to us he was like listen I want to give you guys an education and if you guys want to go through that like that's the one thing I could give you that no one can take away like he was just he just had like a genius mindset like he was a smart guy but not only a smart guy like he didn't have an ego behind him like he was always so kind to literally anyone like so generous like generous in ways that like people don't even

think of but the law firm that he created like those people were his family like people go to work and people are like they they don't assume that your boss is going to be like overly nice to you or like treat you as if like your family like my dad like that office his family all that stuff and what's crazier too is he came from like a broken family like this man didn't really know that definition of family. He had a mom and a dad. His dad had him in later years. His mom was a bit younger. But she like abandoned him and his brother. And he was like kind of on his own, was being raised by his grandma for a little bit. He always like glorified his dad. But like his dad wasn't necessarily hands on. So my dad came from this broken family. Never thought he was going to have a family.

Like he was like, I just don't think it's in my cards. And he got married at 48. Like he got married a lot later and my mom was 36 so like they were an older couple and then they decided to have six kids in seven years i saw you post that on instagram i thought that was really really special i don't know how that math works i know right he started set then he was just like no let's just keep it going he just loved having him i don't think he was really his boys off him i think more of my mom she really wanted um but he was like down for it he's like all right whatever like he was he wasn't like this very powerful guy that had an ego behind him and was like you do this you do that like he was a really powerful guy and like had a lot of success but like he like was never phased by anything like he was

like all right if you want to do that go ahead like sure honey like what do you want like you just see a lot of people in power these days have like this ego behind them where they're like you listen to me and these are the rules and that and the other and he just like let my mom be who she was do what she wants and my mom's like a little bit nutty um we love her but she's a little bit nutty and he was just like always rolling his eyes like oh god connie like you're you're a special one you know so um yeah it's just like looking back on the situation like i can't say like how grateful i am you also have a testament of like how much you all looked up to him because five of the six you became lawyers with him as you know your aspiration but he never like put pressure on us

to be like you guys have to be lawyers like it was all our choices um which is really cool. He never pressured us to do anything. Like, even when I went on The Bachelor, he was like, yeah, do what you want. Like, I don't understand it, but do what you want. Talking about being an influencer, like, he thought it was the coolest thing in the world. He was like, I don't get it, but he was like, I think Kelly, like, holds up a person. People like, like, like the person and then they buy it. Like, he was so proud, like, telling all of his friends. And he was always, like, so many people look at this stuff. Like, I can't believe, like, the people that follow her and like the amount of numbers like he was always so intrigued but like

was always so supportive um and it was really cool that's so sweet he passed away on christmas day yeah and you said that he was just holding out for that because that was his favorite holiday yeah um so growing up like again he had like a broken family and um um he would say things like some christmases like he didn't have anywhere to go but he didn't have anywhere to go and i thought it was like going to be able to keep it together um but he sometimes like didn't have anywhere to go for christmas and so it kind of became a thing for him when we were growing up like he would like panic oh gosh um he would like panic and he just want to make sure

we all had like a good Christmas growing up and like he would do outrageous things like outrageous like he would get we had like a living room in Chicago that had like a really tall ceiling he would get like trees from Wisconsin on these like massive trucks like shipped down to our house that's so cool yeah to make sure like all of us had a great Christmas because like because like he never did growing up um but yeah so like Christmas became just like huge to him and he always like appreciated it and like wanted to go so far out of his way to make sure like everyone was happy and had to great Christmas and like had a bunch of presents and like it was just like our house was lit up like crazy like we always had Christmas lights everywhere so I think he just wanted to like give that

to us um and oh my gosh um I think he like knew so he was we brought him home one thing he wanted was for him to be home and he was like I don't want to be in this hospital anymore. And there would be days where he'd be, like, doing super well. So we were able to communicate with him. And a lot of days he was, like, full-fledged sleeping. But sometimes we'd be like, hold your hand, like, squeeze our hand or like, do this. If like you want this, that and the other.

So he, there was one day where he just had like a lot of energy in him. And he's like, get me out of this place. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I want to go home. I don't, I want to go home. And so we're like, all right, his goal is he wants to be home. The only problem was he was like in a really fragile state that we didn't know if he could make it on the car ride home.

Because he was like, he was on all this oxygen and there was like little things that kept happening, whether it was like his blood pressure dropping or his respiratory was too high and we had to switch mass and do all this oxygen stuff. So we're like, oh man, like are we going to be able to get him there? And we got him here and the ride was fine, even though a bunch of doctors were like telling. us otherwise we got him here and he was here for like a couple of days um and then when we told him like merry christmas like you made it to christmas like um his vitals just started going we've we've talked about the like the importance of making to christmas for him and the the legacy that he has left with you and the memories that he's left with you.

I guess because I don't have a lot of words right now, Kelly, I think to kind of do a very odd transition into a breakup. But before we do that, I do want to ask you with all that we've just said, what will this memory be now? now. I mean, obviously, Christmas Day was an important day to him. It's going to be an important day to you for many reasons now to remember, to celebrate, you know, to pass that on. But as we now, you know, heal the best we can and move forward, like, what will the memory of your dad be that you want people to remember? I think I'm going to talk about

something a little bit different just because I need to, like, keep it together. And, you And then we'll go to that. One thing I do want to say is this was like a learning experience for me that I've, I've never dealt with. And I know a lot of people go through this. It's a way of life. I personally just never knew like this kind of pain existed. And again, like, I just personally want to think every single person that reached out to me

through social media because I said, like, I don't know what this means. but like the amount of people that like have experienced grief and was like messaging me and like telling me all this stuff like then I never like wish it upon anyone and I know again it's a way of life but like it's a really confusing state and like so many people who are messaging me and to be honest like I was reading like all of it but I couldn't even respond to people because every time I would just break down like when I would go to respond but I was looking at all of it and it's just so crazy to me that like so many people especially at my age have even dealt with something like this and again like I'm not naive I know

it's a way of life but it's so hard because you have this person that like you love and you're like okay now like how do I cope with it like what do you do um and like people would say like you just always have this type of grief in you, like this sadness, but like you get stronger. So it like never goes away. And I think what's different, um, and like a breakup is like, you're like, okay, I got out of that situation. You get some closure in some sense. And then you're like, then you move on and you move on to like a next person and you're like,

okay, this is fine. Like you start being grateful and you're like, that person wasn't for me and all of this stuff. with this it's just like a different kind of pain where you're like I love that person I didn't want them to go you can't necessarily like have closure to be like well that person wasn't good to me or this person you know that person did this like with breakups it's so different and the pain is so different because you're just like you get closure on that but with this you don't and you can't sit there and be like well my dad was like not a good person and I'm so glad that like this happened like it is it's wild it's wild to deal with but again like social

media is a powerful place and like people have been messaging me like reaching out like telling me how they dealt with it and all this stuff and yeah it's um it's weird but there are the first couple of days I was like a mess like an absolute mess actually the first like week or two but then you just like day by day get like stronger um and that's something that i learned like it never goes away just thank you for sharing that because yeah i probably can't even talk right now either but um but like it's always been my biggest fear to lose one of my parents and then you know you get married and then like your biggest fear is losing your spouse and then you have kids and then like your real biggest fear it's losing your kids but like i i've never experienced any of it and i just

So it's like the scariest thing ever. I feel so much for what you're going through. Yeah. Yeah, but like I can't be Ashley at the end of the day. Like I can't be so sad over it because like we look back and we do have to be grateful. Like my dad was 87 years old. Like he was in an older age. He has experienced so much in his life like everything.

And it's like he experienced everything. He had so many kids. We all loved him. And then, like, he got to even be with some of his grandkids. He just had, like, a beautiful, beautiful life. So it's like he wasn't cut short of anything. And you have to, like, remind yourself of that to be like, he lived a beautiful, beautiful life.

So, yeah, it's like, it's hard. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly. and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes,

my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person,

this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Emanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called

Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, We're not the podcast for you But if you have unmedicated ADHD Oh my God, perfect And want to hear people with mental illness Psychobabble Yes, yes Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you

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I 100% can see how in just a few months, months you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it. And in fact, it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. There's an interesting statement you made there where the grief will always be inside you but you'll grow stronger because i think we could we should would we would sit here with you and talk about this moment and your dad and who he was to you and your family for hours and it

wouldn't do it justice um we will make the very weird transition i have a good transition point well okay go ahead okay what did your dad think about your ex who wronged you so honest my dad was never like a judgy person like that's more you know my mom will have more of a an outward voice on things but my dad was like are you okay like he was never he never he like never talk shit yeah it's like my dad my dad can you just call someone out and they suck yeah no he was like no they're great they're great like that um so it was you know i think actually my mom was like can you put your podcast up here on the TV and out of like all of it like my parents watching it and I think some of my siblings were here too uh he said he was like hell you look great on TV like good job

I'm proud of you like it was never like negative you know it was always like hell like proud of you you're amazing um so yeah it was it was pretty funny but I think listen I don't think he's going to have much to say unless I really got caught up but I didn't like I was in a relationship and I got out that's that's the gist of it but there is some interesting like points here that I think uh to make sense of it all um the last few months have been horrific no matter what like the the fact you got out of this relationship is a good thing right that will but like it's not it doesn't make the the the breakup any less of a breakup it was still a separation it weirdly like the amount of pain from my dad like it was almost like oh my god that doesn't even

matter to me like the breakup I think it was just more confusing for me like when if you went through a breakup and you're like okay and it finished on like fine terms like okay fine I think the hardest part was like confused in your head and then you go through this but at the end of the day I'm very grateful that the breakup happened and then unfortunately my dad stuff happened because if it was reversed and I had someone by my side consoling me through this and then I found out what was truly going on that would have been like terrible you know so even though they both suck like you I'm just trying to look for what to be grateful for in each setting um again my dad passing like it sucks and it's really sad but then like I just try to think positively like he lived a great

life he did everything he wanted like we got those three weeks to spend with him in the hospital telling him how important he was to us and how much we loved him and all that stuff. Like, it wasn't just like a sudden he's not there anymore. So there's like so many little blessings within the horrible circumstances. Did that make it easier or harder you think? Which part? The three weeks leading up. Oh, so my brother, my brother made a comment.

He spoke about it and he was like, man, he was like, honestly, like you got to be grateful. dad was 87. He lived a beautiful life. He was still like walking around. And even though he was a bit weaker, he like still was living a great life until the end. And he was like, he wasn't in a wheelchair. He wasn't like strictly on oxygen for years on end. Like he was still functioning. And he was like the differences I would want to almost like when I have to go. He's like almost have a heart attack and like go. Like I don't even want those three weeks. And I was like, no, I highly disagree. Those three weeks were like beautiful to me. um so it's like you got to spend time with him you got to take care of him like you got to like tell him like um you got to like tell him how important he was to you so you definitely get more closure that way like you can't like you're not going to like look back and be like I wish I said this I wish I said that yeah exactly exactly I think it's probably best for everybody's feelings. Yeah, so I think those three weeks were like beautiful. Um, we got to like tell him everything we wanted to. And um, and it's like, this guy has like given us like everything our whole life,

like everything. Like he was so unselfish. Um, and it's like, how do you repay that? Not to be a bachelor interviewer, but um, did Peter reach out? yeah he did he did which was very nice um yeah he did i mean he was down here for the time that we were dating you know he knew my parents and my dad had his pilot's license and you know peter being a pilot so they would have a conversation to talk about and um it was like stupid little things my dad has this old jaguar like a vintage car and none of us none of us kids know how to drive it. And Peter, like, knew how to drive stick. So, like, bringing him happiness that Peter could, like, drive it around because no one else would appreciate it. No, Peter reached out,

and it was, that was very nice of him. The, um, it's, I didn't even think about it that way, this interesting season of life where, you know, now you're sitting in something that's so much more important. You've talked about the, the power of social media now in two different ways. And I, think that actually would be a very like unfamiliar experience for most people in the spotlight to have social media be used for two beneficial like purposes one communicating that the guy you're dating sucked and then two coming in support of you and trying to share with you any insight that maybe would be helpful during um this season of healing and processing and you know loss uh Have you always had this kind of experience on social media?

Is this, or is this new? No, I mean, not necessarily with the breakup. I think there was just a lot more details to give in this scenario that I just didn't know about. And that's maybe why it happened. With my dad's situation in the social media, like it wasn't even the grief thing too, Ben. It was when we were in the hospital, the amount of people who were having, like, who had, similar experiences that were like informing me and teaching me like nonstop like whether it was hey if he has double pneumonia make sure like you're checking antibiotics his body could

respond poorly to this one but I could like do this one better like they were just teaching me and when it came to like the respiratory stuff him on oxygen like people were telling me their past experiences um and also just like helping like I was like messaging them back and I was like hey, this is what's going on right now. Like, what do you think it is? Whether his blood pressure dropped too low, we also had a family friend that we were calling and doctors and some of my girlfriends from Alabama,

they were nurses that I was speaking to. But they're like, hey, if blood pressure is low and his vitals are fine, like this is what could be going on. So I was like taking a picture of the vitals, sending it over to people and being like, hey, like, do you know what this means? And people were just like telling me,

and then we would kind of tell the nurses like do you think it's this that and the other and we solved like a lot of problems with that there was one point where his body was like too dehydrated and they need to get like an IV in him like ASAP and that worked and there was like another time where we thought we were going to lose him they gave him too much of a diuretic and like they're like we like the second doctor that came were like ask the nurse like how much of a diuretic? did they give him and you saw his face he was like oh shit um so i think you know there's there's things that can go wrong on a daily basis there and it's not necessarily anyone's fault but it's like kind of trial and error um so i was just learning like so much through social media with the grief through the hospital experience um yeah and i i guess the breakup but it's it just made me think i was like man like social media is beyond powerful and I don't know if I've like ever, I feel like people have helped me in other scenarios too with this. This isn't like a one or two and done.

I learn a lot from a lot of the people that follow me. And again, I apologize for me not responding to everyone, but I was reading every single one of them and being like, how does this work? What's going on? Yeah. But I think, I don't know, maybe I, maybe I'm like, maybe I'm like. like pretty open with some things that are going on in my life and kind of ask and people respond. I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, I feel like I've had, I've learned a lot of other things too. Also, weird transition. I think everything will be like a weird transition today,

but like this is still on the topic of your family. Your sister's part of the Prince Harry and Megan Rangel produced series Polo on Netflix. And you appear in an episode. Did you guys ever interact with Harry and Megan? Um, they were at one, so my sister and her husband do, I don't know, once a year, twice a year, a couple times a year, because they're in that world. I mean, I just go up there to do whatever. You know, my sister's like, come to a game. There was one game that we went to that they were there. And like, if I wanted to, I could have gone and introduce myself with my sister. And, but I was like, yeah, I just don't want to bombard them, you know. You're just like, what am I going to say? Hi. It's you. Yeah. So, um, Yeah, no, they hosted a dinner. They hosted a game, which I was at. They were around, but I was like, what would I even say? What about your sister?

Is she had more of a relationship? Or can tell us, like, which side of Megan do we believe? I don't think she knows them well enough like that to, like, actually have an opinion. When she's with them, it's more of like dinners. her husband playing games against them. And they'll talk, but they're definitely not, like, close. Yeah. I think it's more so, and again, like, Harry's not there on a day-to-day.

Like, he's in that world, and he'll play polo here and there. But, like, he's not, like, has his own team playing in all these tournaments and all that stuff who's, like, in Wellington nonstop, you know? I don't think, I don't know if he even has a place in Wellington, which is where they play. So I think it's more of pops in and out. just to be clear for anybody listening i believe kelly has a seagull that is chasing after something in the background and so if you can hear a bird ashley has not gotten birds uh in her parents house it is it is a seagull uh saying hello to everybody listening um looks like a beautiful place by the way

I want to close this time with you out, kind of going back to the question I asked earlier about kind of the legacy of your dad because that never really got answered. And I want to make sure that gets answered, but I want to do it at the very end because I don't want to obviously sandwich all of this up into like an emotional like bomb and then just make you, you know, have to sit in it. And so there are a few points that I want to pull out here that I think people are very curious about when it comes to the situation that happened a few months ago, right? This made obviously a lot of headlines. We covered it here. We talked about it here. It was very confusing

for so many reasons. Probably most confusing to you, Kelly, it sounds like. You found out about your ex living, I don't know, you put into your words, I'll put in the mind and you can correct me or tell me I'm living a different life, like a whole other life through social media to go back to that. But it sounds like this all kind of came in at the same, like from what I'm hearing from you is all these like messages started coming in at a similar time. And I want to know what sparked that. Because if this was like a routine for him, if this wasn't something new to him, then why all of a sudden did multiple people reach out at the same time? I don't even know. So I had a burner account messaged me and was like, if you're still, again, like, we weren't, we weren't in, we weren't in like a great place over the summer, but we broke up and I was like, all right, I need to get out of that. I need to get out. And he was like, no, you know, give me another shot. Give me another chance. So I just stopped posting him so much on social media because I was like, I don't know where this is going to go. I don't want to put the pressure, like outside pressure on this. Like, I want to figure out myself without an outside pressure. But I

would, I wasn't hiding anything. I would still post that I was in Philadelphia. I would still post that he would be in some of my photos. It's just like, I just changed the trajectory to not being like, this is my relationship 24 7. So people would keep seeing those photos. And then that's when I got someone messaged me to be like, if you're still dating him, like he's essentially cheating on you.

And I was like, what? And so then I saw, I started putting things together in my head. And I was like, what? Like, there was other sketchy things that were going on that I probably was writing off in my head. Because I genuinely thought this person would, like, never be a cheater. And, like, I was fooled. But there was other things going on where I remember this influencer. She started following him this summer.

And I asked about it. I was like, because they had, like, a previous past. And I asked about it because I kept seeing her at events, like, everywhere. And I was never rude. I was never malicious. I just really would just like not not like give her the time of day like I wasn't going to run up to her and say hi I was just doing my thing and then I said something to him about it and I was like you know what I keep seeing this girl at all these events we have mutual friends I feel bad that like we were in a group circle and she was like standing out of it and it made me feel bad so I said something along lines of like I'm just going to start being nice to her and I noticed that ticked and I noticed that something was off being like he was like why you know

why why and it was like the energy was off with the way he responded and I was like I think there's something more going on here so I went to her page and there was like a reel and the real said something along the lines of like I ran into a guy that I used to have a thing with and I don't think the reason for running into him is because we are going to date but I but it just goes to show you that you can run into anywhere anyone any place and like I didn't expect to run into him and I was like why would she make the comment of I don't think running into him was the reason why we're going to date if he openly told her we are openly dating that wouldn't even cross her mind so I knew something was off so I reached out to a mutual friend and I said hey are you close with this girl will you figure out what's

going on she was like that girl's a girl reach out yourself she'll tell you everything you want to hear so then when I reached out to her we got on the phone real quick and she's like what do you want to know and I told her this situation and she was like holy shit you've been dating him like this whole summer. I said, yeah. And she was like, well, this is what's going on. And she sent me like receipts of everything. And like, there was something going on between her and him? So he would like keep it up in the air to be like, you know, I'm single, but I talked to Kelly today. And I really love her, but who knows if we're going to get back together. So he was like keeping her on her toes. But he was like sending her black cars to come to a party and taking like making them, he like, he like

took her phone and was like, let's take a selfie together, very handsy with her and all that stuff. But she was the one. She was like, I'm not going to lie. If I allowed it, something would have happened. But she was like, there would be times where he made it seem like it wasn't 100% over and I just didn't want to over set. That was one scenario. Okay, that was just one. So then I started researching and I was the one. I was like, I don't care how crazy it. Look, I'll reach out to anyone I can. And so I started reaching out to girls that like other sketchy things have happened with them around, whether it was friends or girls that I met. And then that's when it started really coming down.

And then when I announced it, like, it was like the floodgates opened. So that's kind of how it worked. And then this girl that he had sex with in California, when I did the podcast, she reached out to me and she was like, give me a call if you want. And I said, okay, what happened? And she told me everything that he was like using my name to like pick them up to being like, this girl. showing in my Instagram. This girl broke my heart. She broke my heart. No. This is all coming out after you

did the chicks in the office interview. So like you were already so screwed over by, not screwed over, but you know, he was just totally unfaithful seeming going into that podcast. Podcast comes out and then even more women come out of the woodwork. Yeah. Yeah. So she sent me like all the receipts and she told me what happened. And yeah, he was like using my name to pick him up. And, um, but it's, It's crazy. Like, it's not only that. Like, I was finding out even more stuff. Like, I found out that he was logged into my, like, personal Gmail account for over a year.

And I was like, what the hell? Like, every Uber that I've taken, all my contacts, all of my, like, calendar, everything I would ever purchase, like, was on his phone. So, like, just creepy behavior like that. And he kind of, like, outed himself on that because I went to. go log in and it was like a double authentication thing and he was like by the way like this popped up on my phone I was like why are you logged into my email this was like when we were breaking up and he was like I don't know like you must have logged in I was like I never logged in on your phone um and then I went to go look when that device was logged in and it was like October 2023 so I was like

this guy has had access to my personal email account for the past year like just like weird weird behavior and I was finding out even more stuff like I just genuinely had no idea who this person was I found out um that a big part of his career in success as they owned like strip clubs and he was helping manage them um not once did I ever hear that and it was like years of his life and I never knew any of that like. Like, I was under the impression that this guy hated strip clubs. Little did I know, like, he was working them, owning them. And that's like equivalent to me dating someone for a year and a half and me never telling

them that I'm an attorney or went to law school. Like, it was like a prevalent time in his life. And he would just like tell me that he didn't like them. So it was just like, it just goes to show you, like, I knew nothing. Like, I thought this person was this way. and then like I just found out like almost every con and even when he cheated on me with the girl in California like he told me he was out there for a conference with all of his like these buddies in this group that he's in he told me he was out there for a conference so I thought he was at these events for a conference she's like no I met him at Delilah as we went to a strip club together after and then I went home with him like on a day to day like I didn't know what he was up to it was like lies I thought he was at the these party conferences, his past history, I didn't know anything about it. I thought he was managing restaurants, which I think they were also doing.

But there was a lot of parts, whether it was past, present, that I just, I didn't know anything. Like, I, again, I just had people reaching out to me telling me like all of these crazy, crazy stories. And honestly, there's a lot that I don't even feel comfortable talking about. But it just goes to show you that, like, I had no clue of who I was with. I'm just so surprised girls didn't reach out before. So I, like, asked that. And a lot of girls are under the assumptions that, like, an influencer won't see it. Or they were under the assumption of, you never know if she might be on a break with him and they might not be together.

But a lot of the same thing was, one, I didn't think you would see it. And then two, like, I didn't know where your relationship stood. And we didn't want to get involved. And then a lot of people were like, we thought he changed. So between those, it was, that was like kind of the same answers. How did you guys meet? Through mutual friends, which I thought you could. Yeah.

And with that, too, I think our mutual friends knew more than I, did and um maybe didn't fully indulge and then when the whole influencer thing happened um I actually called one of them and said you were there um do you know anything and she said no but um yeah I maybe they just don't want to get involved I'm not sure but I don't think I was getting the whole truth on that and that like kind of hurt me that I was like gosh Like, I value some of those people. This is the wildest, like, I mean, I know it's the, like, cliche comparison. It's, like, not only a TV show, but it's like the, there's many TV shows I could, like, name right now that would make me think of this scenario, and none of them would be good.

It's creepy. It's weird. It's deceitful. It's unfaithful. It's all these things. And so. And what's even weird. weirder too is like, again, I was under the impression where, you know, he would tell me things

like, um, me doing social media. It would be things like, oh, well, where I want my future to be is I want to flip phone. I don't even want to be on social media. I don't want it like any of this stuff. And one, I was like, well, this is my job and I actually really like it. Like, whether people make influencers or not, like, I genuinely truly, truly enjoy what I do. And I'm like always so grateful day to day that I'm capable of doing this. But, um, it always kind of made me feel like a little shitty that that was like completely different like he wanted this super private life and then I'm doing this and I was like man like I felt like you knew who I was coming into this like it's not like it just came to me while I was dating you yeah he also probably wanted a very private life because the more you posted about him the more likely he was going to get caught well what's crazy actually is like so he would say those things but then when we break up he went and bought like 12 25, 30,000 fake followers. So I'm like, do you understand how confusing that is for me?

Like I have someone telling me like, no, I want nothing to do with this life. But then like, she's a liar. It's just like that those things that like truly don't add up in your head, that's what like confuses you. But in the long run, like even now, especially going through my dad's stuff, like I just look back and I'm like, thank the Lord. like can you imagine if I actually settled down with this and this became my life like I would have been really bad like it would have been bad could you imagine if you were with him during that vulnerable part of life was like the consoling and like that's what you're saying is the timing actually for his like messies it seems actually like feels like it worked out in your favor

in terms of like getting out of that I could not imagine I could not imagine if it happened like during or after like if again everything happens for a reason and even though everything was like so close together and it was really confusing and a really hard time for me and like still a hard time with like my dad's stuff but um yeah i i'm very grateful that it happened before my boyfriends professor is way too friendly and now i'm seriously suspicious oh wait a minute sam maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't

think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person. to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

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Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, Kelly, between that story and just, you know, the way you care yourself and you're always been so graceful and poised and so smart. And I, you know, I don't know if it's something that would interest you, but I really do feel like you'd be really hard to be as the Bachelorette for the next season. Like, come on, try to find a better candidate than you. I feel like everybody would love it.

I think that you bring a lot of viewership back to the show. So I'm putting in my voucher for Kelly. You're so sweet. Outside of the Bachelorette campaign, which we'll start here on the Almost Famous podcast. We'll be totally fine doing that. Would you say yes to it if they asked? I don't know. Perfect age.

32 I think I'm a little bit older you know what I mean I don't think that everybody would like that yeah that's true but I don't think it's ever really been done like I'm 32 I would need guys that are like older um you know you usually see the guys that's like 24 25 but like my guys would have to be like late 30s like maybe some 40s early 30s tell them that we would love to see it and actually yeah I don't know I don't know Ben um I never even My head has never been, like, gone there. Well, we'll now. I'm guaranteeing there's going to be a headline out tomorrow.

That says something similar to that. So outside of the Bachelorette that we're very much in favor of, and it makes a lot of sense. And sometimes we say that. And it's like, I don't know. I actually really like this idea. You, Kelly, we've obviously been a part of multiple, you know, love stories of yours. obviously i i don't know like actually said is it peter one two or three i i don't i can't

track how many times it's come back together i'm not making fun of you for that either no there's no judgment it's like cute it's it's just like i'm not too i find it funny like what are what am i doing yeah what uh with the lessons learned romantically good and bad kind of where is your mind at uh right now when it comes to dating what are you looking for um what have you kind of learn that you should be looking for i listen i usually i never regret any relationship no matter how bad it is i never regret it because there is always a silver lining of me learning something um throughout all of them so even like some of the hardest ones and all of that like i i i won't regret it um but i think a lot of things that i've realized is

I tend to go for, I'm kind of a homebody. I don't really, I don't really drink. It's a rarity for me. I'm a homebody. I probably should get out more than I do. I think I'm so reserved that it's like almost not healthy in that manner. So I need to like start going out more and socializing more. But I tend to date people that are like really, really big partiers are always out,

extremely social like kid not really sit in much um that's one thing i learned is like maybe stop going for someone who's put so much value on that um i think that's like been my lesson through some of them um another thing i learned is it's gonna sound weird but like i just want someone that I could just like laugh with and like has more of an easier going personality like kind of my dad and my brother my brother tom I'm like his biggest fan right now just saying like all the stuff that he did for my dad and like how like loyal he was and like how like he's just like a good person he's not like super reactive um he's just like always in high spirits and it's something I really value in him and I valued in my dad that I've noticed like some of my siblings are a little bit

more harsh and rash and just like on a day to day like I like never fight with him um and I just like really value his mindset and I've been in relationships where people maybe were more explosive um one and I've learned like I don't do well with that personality um and I guess I just like I just want to have fun. I just want someone who's, like, not so reactive because, like, I really don't do well with that. And maybe someone who's not necessarily, like, super social, super social partyer, like, nonstop. You're going to be the coolest wife ever because once I got married, Ashley and I joke about this, it's either 30s or it's marriage. There's very few evenings that I'm not in bed by 815 and I could not be happier like it is a dream it just seems to happen once you find that

person I think you're on to something there I actually think it's a key element in a relationship when you find that human who is like so happy just being with you um which typically means you're married um it is like the most like amazing experience and I want that for you because it changes things and going out now seems like the most massive feet you can actually accomplish it's the biggest unless it's like going out to dinner that's one thing oh my god but going to a party

oh god going to a bar oh my god tell you and the last time that happened I know and I don't I'm just like I feel like I'm an old soul but I don't know but I'm telling you I'm almost unhealthy the other way like I'm almost like never want to leave

never want to do anything I'm like a little reclute So I think I Did that in the past like year and a half Two years or something but I was like okay I need to start pushing myself to get out To do things Because I'm just like happy by myself

And do a new year 30s It's awesome You guys have no idea how much I love plants Like I love gardening Yeah You're in it You're like fully dove in head first and I love it 30s

We have like a family we have like a family farm and by the way I want to give a shout out because Kelsey Weir is guys I don't know if you know her well but truly the greatest human I have met on this entire earth I've never been someone so supportive I've never met someone who is just like there for you and like truly just like a great human thing you guys are roommates for a while she I'm not going to speak on it but she she came back to the US for a little bit and yeah she came to visit me me in Miami um and she we like spend months with each other what whether whatever is going on um but yeah her she like immediately flew in when we had the funeral up in chicago for my dad she like immediately flew in my brother um is married and they're on their third kids so life has just been like hectic for all of us and um Kelsey came in she was like all right I'm cooking dinner for everyone I'm doing this like anything that she could to get like everyone's mind off of whatever like we needed to write the obituary we needed to like plan flowers like there's a lot

that you have to do for a funeral and that girl came in just like a powerhouse being like we're going to help what can I do um and just like literally I'll be on the phone just crying and she'll be like it's okay it's okay um I think sometimes I know that I just hide my emotion sometimes or maybe run away from them and she was like it's okay cry it out like speak about it like she's just She's very, very supportive and sweet. And I couldn't ask for, like, a better friend. She's been, yeah, and it's nice that it comes from the show. Isn't that, you see, like, that's the thing that I'm most grateful for, like, coming out of that show is her.

But her and I are, like, little grandmas together. We go and we guard. I don't think she likes the gardening as much as I. She's, like, a trooper with it. So, yeah, we do some boring things in our 30s. Well, she's known for her crying, so she definitely understands yours. You know what's crazy, Ashley? From who Kelsey was shown on TV versus who Kelsey is maybe now, I don't know if it was

growth within her, or if like she's triggered on the show. She is a complete, she's probably one of the most stable people in certain senses. She loves her, she loves her, what is it called, conspiracy things and she'll go and ransom. But it's truly like a stable person. And then if I were to go back and watch a show, I'd be like, I don't even recognize that girl. Like it is like completely farfetched. I don't know if she was triggered on the show or if she's learned a lot. And she's like, but yeah, she's nowhere near. Like she's really not a big crier. Like I've since the show, I think she's maybe cried to me like two or three times, if that. It's just like a whole different

I kind of have that with my co-host. Ashley was known for crying and she's very stable. Mom of two, like keeps life together. Now, you can still get her going. Obviously. Yeah, but. Yeah, I would agree. I'm not like, I cry probably a little bit more than your average girl my age,

but I wouldn't say it's very off from the norm. Anyway, all right. Well, we do want to finish with you giving. a little bit of a dedication to your dad, even though I know that this is very hard. Well, and the reason is because you started this show off. You came on here and you said, hey, I thought I was in a place. I wanted the opportunity to talk about it, is what you said. And you thought you were in a place that you could do it, you know, I don't know what you

expected, like without emotion, but I don't know if that's ever going to exist. It's a sweet testament. I see it as like the most pure, sweetest testament. So we do want to give you the opportunity as we close out here to, kind of send us off with a message of what you wanted to say. Like, why did, why did you want the opportunity to speak about this moment? Yeah, I think I just want to speak about this is because, one, again, like, I didn't know this kind of pain existed.

And going through this experience, I have learned that it is probably one of the most painful experiences anyone will ever experience. And I personally want to say that, like, I feel and I now understand, like, people that have experiences, I now could, like, understand what they've gone through. And before that, I had no clue. Like, no clue. You would always hear, like, someone's parent passing, and you're like, man, I feel bad for

them. But, like, until you experience it yourself, I genuinely don't think people understand the pain. And again, I've been learning, and I think the most important thing is, again, I'll never go away, but you do get stronger. And just, like, be easy on yourself. Don't sit here and think, like, I need to get over this. I need to get over this. I have right now, I thought I was strong enough to do this, but I, like, can't keep it together. But sometimes I try to push those emotions off, and it's like, no, no, no, it's healthy to feel.

them um feel them and it's okay and it almost goes to show you how much i appreciated this man um because like he's done everything for us but um i feel for anyone going through this and i'm thankful that a lot of people have helped me through this some people i don't even know just social media connections and teaching me about grief and teaching me like how it what the trajectory of this looks like um you can't just sit there and say like oh i'm going to move on from this like a relationship and have closure there like like you want him here like you didn't want him to pass like you don't ever sit there and think like negative things towards him if anything you're like i love you like i don't want you to go um but i guess you just like learn how to live with it

I just can't imagine being like that getting over that thought of like I can't FaceTime him like I can't just tell him this or that and it's like he's never going to sit in that chair in the family room with us and stuff like that yeah and it's actually crazy because you a lot of people who like reach out and have like a lot to say are people who have experienced this um for example like Hannah and her husband's father just passed away. super, super supportive, like super supportive, sending flowers, like sending me these messages. Again, Kelsey is like my diehard hero that I owe her the world. But you have other people that have experienced this. And like when things like this happen, you like, they come in strong. And you never, you never suspect some of them. But it's just crazy how a lot of people that like showed up to my dad's wake, even. A lot of them were people who have loved. lost a parent and like understand the pain again like before this I was naive to it I had no idea what it felt like and you hear someone losing a parent you're like oh I feel bad for them

but you really really don't understand it until you experience it um and then I think just like lean on your family lean on your friends um to get over to get over some of the grief and to learn how to deal with it um my family has like a very sarcastic way of you know saying his jokes or all of this stuff but we just like keep living through him with a lot of the things that he does and even things that he would get like upset about we'll be like running around and we'll say and it'll make us laugh instead of getting like really really sad and in the dumps about it we just keep trying to keep it like super super lighthearted um and it helps a little bit and i think the one thing too that i've learned from this

experiences like something that really helps is people that knew him and people that message you like stories about the experiences that they had about him or with him um those like take a little bit of the pain away because you're like oh my god like other people saw it too or like it brings you back to like a memory that other people have experienced with him and it's like it brings like a smile to your face um that i have learned and then another thing i've learned is When this happens, like, you, none of us wanted to leave the couch. We didn't want to leave the couch. I could, like, barely eat.

I could, like, didn't want to get up and, like, make myself food. And some of our neighbors, like, brought over, like, homemade lasagna or, like, food. And one of the things that I've learned is, like, if one of my friends has to unfortunately deal with this, which everyone will, but, like, at an age like mine, it just kind of sucks even more but um food sending food is like one of the best things you could do in this scenario because like the last thing people want to do is like get up and start like making food so sending food to us was just like huge i was like all right i'm popping a lasagna in and like we're good to go and i would like take some bites but you just learn certain things and i think what those those two

things is you know sending them food really helps but then also um people who are sending like a memory that they had with him is like takes a little bit off Kelly you you said something that will stick with me hopefully forever my memory isn't always great but it hopefully will you said that in moments of this type of pain the grief may never leave you but you're just going to grow stronger Kelly I think you are in the midst of that and I think you're a testament to that and I believe it to be true because I'm seeing it in you thank you for coming on here Thank you for having this conversation. Thank you for speaking into the people out there listening who have probably gone through something similar.

And as you said, it's a part of life. We all will at some point. And thank you for giving us some words of love and wisdom. And again, there aren't a lot of words in this moment to, there's no words to make any of this better. But we are thinking about you and the family. Please pass that on. And we appreciate you coming on. Keep doing you.

You've been through a lot. And I guess I just want to tell you, probably like Kelsey told you, it's okay to feel it because, goodness gracious, you have been through it in the last few months. So thanks for sharing your story. All right, guys. Thank you for having me. Thanks for being here and for sharing. Yeah. Sending you so much love.

Bye. Bye, guys. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcasts on IHartRadio, or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorist.

That's right. To give you the answers, and you still blew it. The Puzzler. Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh, my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different.

What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack. Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA.

Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell. And the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. This technology is already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

This is an IHeart podcast.