The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - S21, #2: Dating after The Bachelor

Episode Date: May 30, 2017

Ashley fears she misinterpreted a date with former Bachelorette alum Chris “Cupcake” Strandburg so Ben calls him for answers. Luke Pell reveals his Bachelor in Paradise plans. Ben considers a man-romper and Ashley spills how many guys she’s considered giving up her virginity for (not counting Harry Styles). All that plus Inside The Bachelorette week 2: Dean vs. Whaboom Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast with IHart Radio. Welcome, everybody. Welcome back. Hi. It's good to be back. It is good to be back. It's been a tough morning for me. Okay. I showed up, excited to be here, ready to see you and ready to see our beautiful team of people.

I walked into drama. I don't know exactly what happened in the 10 minutes you were here without me. Yeah. You know, there's just a lot going on, a lot being thrown out. I mean, we'll get into that. We'll also get into this week's Bachelorette. Okay. But, you know, we're coming off of a long weekend, actually.

And I just want to hear what is going on in your life right now? Well, there's a lot of work things. You know, this is my second podcast. I have two each week. My other one is the I don't get a podcast with my sister and my best friend. And we talk about things that we don't get. But, you know, I have a lot of things. Apparently so.

I'm on episode 22 now. We've come up with a lot of things we don't get. But I have that. I have this hosting stuff at Clever TV and at Exx's Hollywood. But other than that, you know, lying around enjoying my life. Are you dating? I just, okay, so am I dating? I know everybody, whenever they ask me, what are you doing?

Like, are you dating? I'm like, honestly, I'm working so hard that I have zero desire to date on like the off night that I get to sit, like get postmates and be my pajamas. Like, I just am not interested in that. but I am interested in getting married eventually. So apparently I need to be concerned about this. So what's your strategy? So what's my strategy? Well, I'm on hinge now.

There's that. It's pretty interesting. It's kind of fun because they're calling it the relationship app now. It's not like Tinder where you're swiping for hookups. There's a variety of photos like the other dating apps, but then there's also a cute little like bio info. So it'll be like, who do you want to? have dinner with or who are like tell me how your parents met so those are the kind of that's the

kind of info on your profile that's a little bit so we've progressed as a society enough now from where we have a hookup app so if you're just in the mood for a one-night stand you go to what tinder i think and then if if anything else you go to this hinge yeah is it worked uh okay so i just started using it about a week ago and i've got a lot in my inbox a lot of guys liking me but I'll probably set up one date, you know, this week. What's your last date? Tell me about it. My last date was like three weeks ago, and I'm not even sure if it was a date.

Wait. What do you mean? Okay. This is actually something I was going to do on my I don't get a podcast because I truly didn't get whether it was a date or not. He was like flirting with me the night before. He's a mutual friend. He's actually a friend of yours. He was understudes with a bachelorette.

Oh, he, okay. So he's a fellow. Bachelor alum. Yeah, and he was texting me a little bit. He just moved to L.A., and he was like, let's hang when I move. And I'm like, okay, sounds good. Later in the week, if you want to do lunch or dinner, like, I'm good, like, Thursday or Friday night. Okay.

And then Jared happened to be here. Jared Haven. Your true love. My complication for the past two years, yes. He happened to be here, staying with me, as he always does. We'll just throw that in there. I'm not even going to ask any follow-up questions, yeah. I'll just keep spewing info.

So then he invited this said guy from your bachelor season to go to this concert with us. So we went to this event. He was really, he was not like overtly flirting with me, but he kept complimenting me and saying how pretty I was and how stupid Jared is and like, you know, all the stuff that we usually get. So then he said to me that night, he goes, hey, I still want to have like, one. on one alone time with you on Friday. This guy's got game. And I was like, oh, okay, so like, it's a real date, right? That's what I'm thinking in my head.

And then I'm getting ready and walking to the restaurant and I'm like, oh, I'm wearing heels and skinny jeans. Like, this is a date outfit. This isn't a like getting lunch with a friend outfit. And then I'm like walking up and I'm like, what if this is just a friend date? What if we're just hanging out? And then at the end of the night, we split the check. I have to say I grabbed the check

and I grabbed it quickly because I didn't want to make it really awkward I guess and then we split the check which means it wasn't a date there was no conversation about who was going to take the check we just split it you split it

I don't even know what to say right now because I know who this is and I'm a little bit confused I need some outside sources so can we take a caller I need to ask this person if they believe this is a date or not I got my buddy Chris Stranberg on the line

formerly known as Cupcake Hey Chris are you there I'm here. What's up, Ben? Hey, buddy. I'm sitting here with Ashley Ikenetti, and you're on the almost famous podcast on IHeartRadio. And we're so excited to have you, buddy. Thanks for having me. You know how highly I think of you and how I've told you many times. If I had a sister, which I don't, I would allow you to date her or want you to date her.

Oh, Ben. So Ashley and I are sitting here today, and her last interaction with you was something that we're a little confused about. Okay. Three weeks ago, you and Ashley went out to dinner, correct? Correct. Real quick, in about two sentences, how did you feel about that interaction? Yeah, I love Ashley. She's great.

The more I get to know her, the more normal and cool she seems to me. But we had a great conversation. Okay, Chris, was this a date or was it not? Was it a date? Yes. Oh, man, you're putting me in a bad position here. I mean, I don't think it was a date. No, it wasn't a date.

It was a friend date. It was a friend date, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was a friend date. You know what? The funny part is Ashley knew that all along. She never once was confused about that. You made me confused about it.

Was Ben making you stressed out about this, Ashley? Yep. Who needs dating apps when you have the almost famous podcast to set you up? Chris, I love you, buddy. Thanks for calling in. Thanks for clarifying. This is big for us. Yep, you bet.

Bye. Actually, I have to apologize for something now. I feel very awkward. That was one of the most awkward moments I've had since the Bachelor. Bachelor in Paradise. I'm beat red right now. Well, hey, you know what? At least now you know, right?

No one wants to date me. Like, no one likes me. I think this is going to be a really good topic for a podcast going here. It's Ashley's dating life. And I think every week we're going to try to find just that special guy to send you on a date with. No, I can't go on a date a week. That's exhausting. What are you going to do, Ashley?

So moving on from here, okay? We just talked to Chris Stranberg. And Chris Stranberg was formerly known as Cupcake on my season of The Bachelor with Caitlin. I guess not my season of Bachelor. It's Caitlin's Season of the Bachelorette that I was a part of. Cupcake is a dentist for a living. So he has beautiful teeth, always has, always hopefully will. But he's also known for one of the most historic.

Choric Crying Scenes in Bachelor and Bachelorette history. So that brings me to the topic today I want to talk about is this week on The Bachelorette, there was a lot of cryers. I've been a crier on this show. Ashley, I can't remember if you've ever cried or not on this show or not. There's a better question. Was there a time where I wasn't crying on the show? That's a good question. I want to hear your thoughts.

From a female's perspective, is it not just okay, but is it attractive? When a man cries? It depends on the guy, and it depends on the instance. I like it when guys cry on The Bachelor of The Bachelor, The Bachelor, right? Like, I thought Nick's crying was actually super sweet and showed his, like, mushy, mushy, insides that are really warm and wonderful. Whereas on the outside, he's, like, this hard shell, and he, like, puts all these walls up. So I liked how it's telling of a person's soul. but like my sister has dated guys and they cry like when they can't afford their rent and that is disgusting really like just just the other night like a sorrow cry like i need sympathy or like i'm scared that everything's falling out around me the second oh yeah it's sad it truly is but it's also like get yourself together and you know let's like get a job Ashley from Kentucky what do you think about

about this um i can't do boy cry very often like my i had an ex-boyfriend who he kind of showed up on a spring break and like cried to me and i was just it was he crying about this spring break well he was actually it's a funny story he was actually in another part of florida and like drove in the middle of the night to surprise me but it didn't go well and um this is i was like 18 or 19 in Panlaw City so yeah should we just skip over the details of what do you mean yeah yeah yeah I'm good with that I don't need to ask any more follow-up questions um no he just cried and I didn't know what to do because I'm not very sentimental I like happy cry a lot yeah but I'm not a big sad cryer so I don't know how to handle it like I don't know if I should

like pat them I don't know so I'm not a big honestly as a cryer myself I don't know how to handle other people crying either but that's because I try to put myself in their shoes and I'm there in their shoes often so I think like I don't know if I really want to be touched because when people hug me it makes me cry more really yeah well see to both my Ashley's right now I'm I'm a cryer I love that that's cute on you see that works for you maybe I just haven't had the right cry because I feel like I could deal with a Ben cry but not like maybe it was one time me too well The reason I cry is really, I think, especially during this experience of The Bachelor, or just in life, when your emotions start welling up, it's my only, I guess, reasonable reaction, right? So when you get in an argument or you get frustrated with something or there's a sad event in your life, you can either react in a negative way by anger or frustration.

Oh, I hate that. Yeah, but my reaction is typically to cry to kind of take that time and release whatever heaviness is I'm feeling in my heart. Okay, so exactly. People are always like, oh, my God, everything comes out in tears for you. And I'm like, yeah, well, I'd rather it come out in tears and, like, soft sensitivity than me, like, channel it into rage or anger. I never feel angry. I very, very, very rarely feel angry. I can feel annoyed sometimes and frustrated, but never angry.

I get it. I get that. I never feel angry, though. I get quiet. And then, again, I happy cry, like crazy. It's almost embarrassing the happy cry. Wedding cries. Well, Ashley, I hope that this podcast makes you happy cry from weeks on out.

Ashley, thank you for joining the Almost Famous Podcast today. Thank you. Bye. Bye. So, speaking of cries, I think a lot of people have asked this question over the last week to me after the first episode is, why are you partnered with Ashley I? And why is Ashley I partnered with you in this podcast? And I think our listeners deserve just a really short summary of how we came together.

And it's not because we both cry a lot. yeah because you don't cry a lot yeah i think you've explained it well you kind of when we're coming up with the name of the podcast you called it the calm and the crazy yeah i have a little craziness to me too i think we all do you channel it way better like you're you're able to really you know keep it in check i can keep i have to like make it public i cannot hide any of any of my personality traits so marianne from san diego had this question directly asked me today Okay, Marianne, are you out there? Yes, I am.

Okay, so you're wondering exactly how Ashley and I, Ashley, I, the I, Ashley, I and myself started on this podcast together, right? Yes, yes, yes. Okay, so your question's just coming from like just interest, or do you feel like this isn't going to work? No. Okay, I will be honest. Okay. I was a little, when I heard the announcement, I thought, well, this is kind of an announcement. and an unexpected pairing because, well, I mean, I love you two individually, but I never thought

you two would come together for, like, a podcast, so I guess my question is, yeah, how did the two of you decide to come together and did you guys have to, like, screen, or was it just kind of like let's just ride out and see what happens? Yeah, definitely. Well, that's a great question, and I'll start, and Ashley can kind of fill in the parts She knows, you know, Marianne, months ago, this came up in conversation, kind of my desire to do a podcast with a couple buddies of mine or to just kind of talk about life, to have that outlet. And as I was talking to some friends that I knew about this idea, they kind of threw it out there. Why don't you do one with IHeart Radio?

Because IHeart Radio is obviously the best place to do a podcast through. Through that, IHeart contacted Ashley. And I've known Ashley off and on through this whole Bachelor experience, but we've never really got. gotten a chance to sit down and talk about life together. And I think we do come from two different perspectives, both unique, both interesting, hopefully, but two different perspectives. And so, yes, it is, we will be the first to admit this is an unusual pairing, one that is unexpected maybe.

Yes, definitely. But one that we hope will work. And so that's what we're giving this shot. Ashley, have anything to add? I do. I have a lot to add. I think that people know me as like the crazily. overly emotional girl in The Bachelor

but that's like also a caricature of myself and a lot of Bachelor family members know that I'm a lot more toned down or can be than what you always see on TV for me Ben do you agree with that? I agree no and that's the best part about Ashley is she is she's she's complex which I think is awesome and you have this this Ashley that gets

you know falls in love so hard and and not often but hard not often but hard and she lays it all out in the line for it but then when you get her out of that you know romantic part of her life she is more reserved and and she's incredibly intelligent thanks which is a side that I think uh everybody will be able to see as this podcast progresses yeah I think Ben and I have fundamentally the same values a lot of the same personality traits but um sometimes just like the way we are in public acting on it is a little different I agree and so so as we move about here through the bachelor

Marianne, I want to first off, thank you for calling and thank you for asking this question. It really does help us because there has been a lot of questions asked to me on what exactly is going on here. Yeah, yeah, no, of course. Hopefully that clarifies how this almost famous podcast got started. Yeah, definitely. And I just kind of want to reaffirm to you guys that yesterday I thought it flowed really well. It was very entertaining. You guys have good chemistry and banter, and I wish you guys a lot of luck and success with this.

But I'm definitely tuning in, and I can't wait for more. Oh, thanks, Marianne. Appreciate it. Thank you. You know, Marianne brings up a good point there. She said a word there called chemistry, right? Which we've all tried to feel in life. And we've all kind of touched on, right?

We've just talked to Chris Dramberg earlier, the dentist. And I felt like there was chemistry there when you were talking to him. I don't know if that's true or not. I feel like I haven't recovered from the redness. Because I think it wasn't a date because you put into the universe all you're like, Isn't a date, isn't a date? Like, it seems like he's open to it, but he just needs a little bit of a push. It sounded like he was very hesitant of it when.

Because he doesn't know where you're coming from. Guys in general are insecure, right, Ben? I agree, yeah. You know, we mask this insecurity sometimes in different ways. But every guy is there in that search for that special someone or they're kind of maybe lost, just not knowing if that special someone exists, has insecurities that kind of wells up inside them. I bet Chris was sitting there, like he said, in front of this beautiful person who he didn't know very well, who he just moved to L.A., so his whole life is changing.

And he thought, I don't know if she's ever going to like me. I don't know if I can compare to the guys in L.A. or not. And here you are grabbing the check, paying for it. That was aggressive move. Not a bad move, but an aggressive move, Ashley. It was a giant fail. Okay, see, let me tell you this. When I'm on a regular date, when I know it's an actual date, I will never, I don't even reach for the check. And actually, Ben, this is a question and an argument. that I've had with Jared. On the first date, that's an actual set-up day. I don't even reach for the check.

But Jared said that looks awful and that I should just fake the reach and then let him take it. Let him take it and then offer. Hey, are you sure? Are you sure? I don't. Hey, I would love to pay for this with you. I had such a good time tonight, such a good time that I would love to split this with you because I know there's going to be so many more times down there.

That's what you should say. Wait, you want me to split. I will not split it. The split is literally a death sentence. Really? If you split, you're done. You've been on the bachelor's too long. You forget what it's been.

Because if you feel like they're not going to pay, just pay for the whole thing. It's been a long time since I've been on a date. So that might make sense. You used to split with girls? I can't remember. Ashley, it's been a long time. Like I said, well, hey, there's a guy coming up today on this podcast that I would love to, that I know you would love to go on a date with.

There's a guy, a secret guy. No, no, no, no, it's not a secret. We're going to be calling Luke Pell from Jojo's season. Hey, Luke, I'd go to paradise for you, but I can't. So we're going to try to tame Ashley down for a second. We're going to get her some cold water. She got very excited there. Sorry, I think he's really dreaming.

So later on the podcast, we're going to talk to Luke. But before that, we got another caller from South Carolina named Marissa. Marissa, you out there? Hello? Hi, Marissa, this has Ben and Ashley on the Almost Famous podcast. Hi. I love. Oh, wow.

Mercer, you have a question for Ashley, correct? I do. All right, shoot. My question is, I am a virgin, and I want to understand how, like, you don't, like, pressure is, like, not a big thing for you, it seems like, and you're not, like, too into a rush to lose your virginity, but I wonder if the influence of friends and family, like, make you think twice about doing it quickly. Really, there's been like three guys in my life that I've liked enough to say that I would have if I had gotten to a committed point with them. Yeah. And none of them wanted to get to a committed point with me. So that's where I am.

I totally understand. And I know myself well enough that I would, well, first off, I don't, I wouldn't even have to make the decision to, be like, no, no, no, like in the heat of the moment, I wouldn't be like, no, no, no, like, don't do it. I just would never get to that point with the guy that I wouldn't be okay with doing it. That makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense. But does, like, your friends ever go, oh, they tell you stories, and then you're sitting there like, oh, wow, that's a very interesting story. And you're like, I wonder how that feels at the moment. And, like, if I could do that story and be a part of that and tell that story to someone else and just, like, have that experience

Does that ever cost your mind? Do you know what's really funny is that when I was in my early 20s, I used to be really awkward when the subject of sex would come up because a lot of my friends, you know, at school, didn't really know all those details about me. And I didn't want them to know because I didn't want to be outcasts like that. But now ever since I've come out with it on The Bachelor, and so many people know about it,

I actually love to listen to other people's stories, and it's fine that I can't relate. I just think they're fun to listen to. Oh, yeah, I have friends who tell me their stories all the time, and I'm 21, so I understand where you're coming from, too, and I hope that when I'm your age, I'm still a virgin and waiting, because I don't want to rush it, because I haven't really had a committed relationship ever, and my friends are, they're the type of people that tell me some of these craziest stories, and I'm just sitting there like, how is that even possible? Like, how do you do any of this? I know that I'm a very emotional person and that when I like someone, I connect to them very deeply. And I know myself all enough that I'm not just going to do it with somebody that I'm not going to have something really serious with. So you don't want your first time to be a one-night stand?

Oh, absolutely not. And I'd like it to not be somebody that I'm just with for a month or two. I'd hope we had a real relationship. I don't think I'll do it until I get a committed relationship. At least that's what I always say I'll do. You know, Marissa, you bring up a really good point and one that I've always been very interesting talking about because I think in our culture today, sex is a very taboo topic, right? So people feel awkward or ashamed or insecure to talk about their frustrations, their confusions about sex. And so I think your question today not only is really good for Ashley and I to kind of think through, you know, just the stress is that.

topic puts on a person yeah but also asking Ashley personally like what are the stresses that that's put on you and I have so many I could talk about exactly podcast on this be honest I've gotten to this really weird point where now I'm 29 and my upper 20s and guys are freaked out by it it's actually prevented guys from really dating me like guys who would have dated me now they don't really give me the time because they're like oh I don't want to be responsible for that or like I don't want to get involved with a girl who's gonna get so clingy if this happens and just last night

and when I first heard it I wasn't annoyed but then I started thinking about and I got really upset my friend I go why didn't you why didn't you hook me up with your other friend like why didn't you set me up with him he's so cute and he's like

I'm not gonna hook him up I'm not gonna hook my friend up with a virgin how does that I mean this is a very this is a very general question but like how does that make you feel not not just the pressures of of the sex part but as as a human that that's horrible yeah i would imagine really sad like that sucks like that sucks that sucks that in our society because like you were moral and like made this choice for yourself that like i'm being punished

by it sort of yeah i get that because the one thing i know about you is is the person you are is a lot bigger than just that topic right right and i can't stand when guys make that topic so big it's so big to them definitely well marissa once again i want to thank you for calling you with that question that couldn't have been easy but like i said i want this to be a podcast where those kind of questions are able to be asked because ashton i're here to talk yeah so marissa thanks for joining the almost famous podcast ashie and i love it oh thank you so much i love you hey have a great day marissa bye thank you guys too bye what a great question that was a good question I can talk about for a long time.

I don't know. I can tell. And it's a question that, you know, honestly, before I even met you, Ashley, I watched you on TV. And it was kind of what defined you, right? You know, coming off The Bachelor, that was who you were. That was the stigma that they put to you, you know, Ashley, the Virgin. And so enters into a topic I want to talk about a little bit is coming off the Bachelor, Bachelor, or any show you do, any reality television show, right? You're going to be known as something.

Right. Right. Your character is going to be defined. Yeah. what are those pressures been like for you well that's been the biggest pressure that's like the one thing that is that surrounds me forever like every guy i go on a date with can google me and find out that i'm a virgin even though like it's probably not time for him to know my sexual history and it's definitely something that i have to admit i was really open with um production about

going into casting because i knew it would set me apart i knew it i just knew if i was really open about that part of me that they were probably going to cast me. So I was like, okay, let's talk about it. But I didn't think that they're going to make it such a big deal on the show. And some people think it's not true. And some people think it's not true. That's why

I stumbled there for a second, because when I say that I mentioned it casting, I remember my first season, my first season, people were telling me you just told them that so that you'd be famous, so that you'd stick around or that you'd have a storyline. And I'm like,

oh my god you guys really think that this is what i want out like the people that i want my dad to be hearing about my virginity of course he'd rather be hearing about my virginity than all the guys just left with but still yeah it's a pressure perfect timing because we have a caller in the line who has was a part of the bachelor's with jojo luke pell um Luke is a guy i've just known a couple we met a couple times uh so i don't know luke personally but i know when we we talk about kind of how your character gets questioned by doing these shows or getting defined by something. I know that Luke is somebody that can speak to that.

Luke, are you out there, buddy? What's going on? Hi, man. You got Ben and Ashley here. Thank you for joining us today, first off. Yeah, absolutely. So we've been talking for the last few minutes about how coming off The Bachelor, or any reality television show, there's a ton of pressures.

Sure. And people end up defining you by something they read, they find out, or something that the show portrays. And fairly or unfairly or unfairly, you end up living, people end up knowing you by whatever is being displayed. And I know recently you've kind of had that happen, right? You've had some articles come out about you that haven't been necessarily positive, but you don't really have now a platform to defend yourself. So I just want to hear what has that been like for you coming off the show? and having those things said about you. Yeah, I know it's interesting.

The unique thing about being a reality TV, I'm celebrity, kind of coming to the status of celebrity and being so well known by the public and scrutinized by the public that's very different and specific to the Bachelor franchise versus saying, oh, I'm a professional baseball player or I'm even an actor in a fictional series or whatever is because everybody then feels like

they have a personal, you know, obligation or interest in your love life. That's what you're known for, your relationship status. And so then they feel like it's open. There's a gray area between judging what you do and how you date or how you're relationally on screen during your time on the show. And then when you come off of it, then people follow you as a reality star or whatever on social media

and they get glimpses of your personal life or there's hearsay or articles about, you know, from internet bloggers and whatnot and all that hearsay it becomes the only fact that they have to judge from. And so then they just start creating these whole storylines that are just social media driven and, you know, viral article driven. And they have no grounds and there's no, like, thorough platform of facts about what that is. And that's just how you're known.

So that, yeah, it's really interesting. And I'm sure that Ben and Ashley have probably felt that same phenomenon. Yeah, we have. And that's what Ashley was just talking about here is, you know, coming off the Bachelor, she was known as the Virgin. And she, as a result, her life has been greatly affected by that, even though she's proud of that, right? That's a moral choice she's made as an adult. But she still now sees how that's affecting her life, even outside of the topic of sex, right?

Just dating in general has been hindered by that definition. And, you know, for me, I've cut, you know, I think in a weird way, I came in The Bachelor and I think the tagline was Perfect Ben. which is super nice and very kind but all of us all of us know that's not true and so when you're defined he's a really bad singing voice because I have a bad singing voice

sorry Lou I have many flaws and when you're defined as perfect right there's only one way to move and that's down yeah exactly and you're going to continue to fail people instead of people getting to know you fully and seeing your flaws and end up embracing your flaws loving your flaws

and helping you work through those, they end up just getting disappointed in you. And that's where, I guess, the heaviness and the burdens light on my life is all I could do was disappoint. From the moment that that was the definition of me, the only option I had was to fail people over and over and over again because I'll be the first to tell you. And this is coming from no place of humility. It's coming from no place of insecurity. I'll be the first to tell you I am not perfect.

sure and that's what my struggle has been with Luke coming out of that and kind of moving more into your experience here from the Bachelor and kind of what you're doing the day how is life that's great you know it's um it's different you know I've got new pitfalls to look out for sometimes they're relational sometimes they're just kind of

life rhythm because um you know you kind of have to learn to say no to because there's so many opportunities on the table and you know I've met so many people this year more so than probably the last, you know, five or six years combined of my life, just meeting people, new faces, new names to remember new people asking you, hey, come do this,

come do that, and you just learn, you know, you try to say yes to a lot of these things. And then before you know, you know, family starts falling down in terms of how much time I got spent with my parents this year. That started dropping or like how much I call my sister and see how she's doing. Things I used to do like commonly that are in my

personal life now starting to kind of see conflict with what I'm doing professionally because I'm so busy and say yes all the time the travel and work and everything so this is just a lot of things you know a lot of implications that come you know after you're you're off the air and after the show's over but you know you continue to rise in the sense of celebrity status and you know people want to know what you're doing and why you're doing it and you know all this thing so yeah hey luke i know that you took a picture with Danielle L a couple weeks ago and it got all Bachelor Nation buzzing

that you guys were dating. But it was really just a picture, you know? And I take pictures with Jared all the time and everybody's like, oh my God, it's finally happening. How do you guys handle all the speculation that comes across with just Instagram pictures?

I think from my perspective, we can make excuses all we want, right? And everybody tells us, we signed up for this. We did. We signed up for this show, hoping for the best, not knowing what we're really getting into. But the point that I always communicate

is we're still normal people. I still sell software. That is my full-time job. I also not talking to a podcast, which I'm excited about. But coming into The Bachelor or Bachelorette, I didn't have any prep for what happens afterwards. And so social media becomes this monster

that you have to manage. You have to not only post the right things, say the right things, but you also have to post a certain amount of time so that people stay engaged. for me personally that that was only the only thing that was was a stressor and it ended up being a stressor on my life I think it ended up affecting relationships not only with you know my fiance at the time but my family my friends because there was always this constant I need to show what

I'm doing now and I can't be in the moment actually doing it I have to make sure I document this the right way we could do entire podcast about social media and how it affects our lives it's kind of like a beautiful disaster for us because it's so good for business and what we try to promote, Luke, you, your music, me, all the media stuff that I do, and now Ben's got the podcast. But also, you're right. I mean, I can't go somewhere fun without stressing first about getting the perfect picture. And then if it doesn't get a lot of likes, I'm not going to be, I'm not going to tell you

that I don't care. Like, I do. It makes me stressed out. I'm like, oh, my gosh, is my time able to do all these cool things coming to an end? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, on that same token, it's kind of giving me a glimpse. or the world of just being in the entertainment business.

And I feel like it's a glimpse of, you know, all these people that are actors that kind of, they catch a break. And then, you know, they're always trying to stay relevant. Like, relevant is their whole, like, lifetime goal, it seems like,

as a career, they're like in the tabloid or what's the next project or whatever, and they're always trying to say relevant. It's like a Hollywood thing. And so, you know, for us being normal people coming off the street, we get a dose of reality TV and that celebrity status.

And then all of a sudden you're relevant. in a very quick, short period of time, kind of on that entertainment world, you know, spectrum. And then all of a sudden, then that relevant starts fading just as fast as it happened. And then people, you know, emotionally they get caught up in that. And it becomes a very, some people, I think, have become addicted to it. And it becomes a very, you know, important part of their life and probably too much so. Actually, there's a study that came out this week that there's been a 70% increase in depression in young girls, like 20%? and below because of social media and the images the perfect images that are put across on

those platforms and it's just no you can't compete with all the airbrush and you can't compete with these lifestyles that girls kind of pretend they're curated lifestyles and personalities that they put up there yeah 100% see that you know there's this just change that's happening right now transition where um the highest percentage ever of 12 year old kids that are just going to their adolescent, you know, development stages emotionally and physically are now all on iPhones and all at such a fragile time of your life and trying to figure out who you are. They're in this, they're learning to be the most, you know, narcissistically, you know, developed people. But, hey, Luke, I want to ask you real quick, you're just, just, we only have a couple minutes here.

Sure. You're getting ready to get off social media. You're going to paradise. Tell us about it. Are you excited? Are you nervous? What's going through your mind? Oh, I thought that was announced.

Is that not announced? No. Tell us anything that I'm sorry. I apologize. I thought that was announced. So what's going on there? No, I think that actually for me, it's not something I'm actually interested in right now. And so, you know, obviously that's been on the table for, you know, a lot of folks that are always alumni after the last couple of seasons.

And just for me, after some discussions, it just didn't feel like it was, you know, right for me. And so, yeah, I'm not actually going to go on paradise this year. All right. Well, but I support that, man. I do. I support you fully in that decision. I think you've got to do what's best for you. I know, I know if you did go, you're the hottest commodity out there.

All these ladies are going to be so sad. Wait a second. You'll be getting a call from me later. Oh, yeah. Let's do it. We need to paradise. But good luck. I know you're touring right now.

You want to say some about that? Yeah, no, I'm just, you know, back to Nashville. what I was doing before, and things are great here. I love this community and love being able to be in the music industry. It's something I left the corporate world and left the military to come and do this and kind of get back to what I was passionate about. And so that's what I'm doing, and I never look back. I've never been happier.

So things are great. So you guys come out to Nashville whenever you get a chance and come hang out and visit. I love it, man. Well, hey, thank you. Good luck with everything. We appreciate you calling it in to the Almost Famous. podcast and good look with the rest of the um i i guess without paradise good luck yes thanks luke this is great and have fun getting your phone blown up by ashley here for the next couple

days yeah i'll take a couple days of chill and then maybe you'll hear from me i'm glad we got to talk so i'm looking forward to see you guys again i'm sure we'll uh we'll get the hang here the next couple of months all right perfect thanks louis all right summer see yeah so we haven't talked a lot with that's by the way that was a great call that That was a great call. I love what he said about social media. Yeah. And that's a topic we're going to touch on, I'm sure, many times throughout this podcast because it is so relevant in our lives today. But to kind of transition over, we haven't talked a lot about this week's Bachelor episode, which was crazy, by the way. Not only throughout the week, there's been a ton of press about how Rachel has announced that she is engaged. So I'm watching this episode this week, knowing that she's engaged to one of these guys. And I'm trying to figure out exactly which one it is. She's not just in love. but she's engaged. Right.

Who do you think it is? Okay. And I only say this because Jimmy Kimmel seems to be the new reality, Steve. He's great. He gets it right every single year. He got it right for you, right?

He did get it right for me. He gets it right for everyone. He said Peter's the number one. Peter wins. That's what he says. Peter's the haughty. He's like the hot one. Okay, Ashley, let's be a little more detailed.

You guys, I'm sorry. I'm like in heat right now. or something. Yes, he has got blue eyes, just like looks like he could be in GQ. He actually had the one-on-one date this week. It was a Jet to Palm Springs. They kissed. It seemed really good.

Did you like what you see in Peter so far? Well, he does that thing that I was talking about last week when they kiss. You know, he puts his hand on her jaw. He's sweet and kind of secretive. He has a, like, Scorpio vibe. I bet you he's a Scorpio because he's, like, warm yet very mysterious. You know what I like him? Romantic.

Are you a Scorpio? No. I don't really know. What? Let's do Zodiac reading one week. Oh, geez. We'll do our chumps. You know why I like Peter?

Why? It's because he wore a bow tie on night one. A lot of guys did this that year. I know, but that takes some confidence. And when you can walk out of the limo in a bow tie on the biggest, like, entrance of your life. I have to give it to Nick Viol. No one wears a suit like that man. I agree with that.

Yes, he does. Okay. Okay, so moving into the episode, there was a lot that goes on. But the one big thing, and the hot topic right now is still, boom. I'm not going to do it. I was going to do it? No, I'm not going to do it. So we have this guy, you know, and honestly, it's still hard to keep everybody together.

I'm going to forget names. I just know these guys by faces and moments in the episode. I mean, I didn't know we had that. That's good stuff right there. That's good stuff. and I never want to hear it again. Don't you think he's going to have an aneurism? So we have what we just did there, guy.

And we have, then Dean, seems like a nice guy. I think if he doesn't end up with Rachel, he would probably be my top choice for The Bachelor so far. Isn't this crazy that we predict Bachelors during week two? What else are you going to do? I think we all have pretty much predicted you by week two. Can I tell a little story for a second? Go ahead.

Okay. So I came back from Paradise, totally heartbroken by Jared. And then I got home to like four episodes of The Bachelorette to catch up on. And my mom and I rewound you giving the sex talk about five times. Because I was upset. I was like, Jared, who? Ashley. I was like, but then again, I was like, this guy is absolutely the bachelor.

That was your moment. That was my moment? That was your bachelor moment. Oh, Ashley. Well, I will say I got very lucky with that. Allie from California. Allie, you out there? Hey, Allie.

Yeah, hi, guys. Hi. Allie, you have a question, not about The Bachelor, not about The Bachelorette, about something different. Yeah, so what's your question, Ashley? So my question, with all the hype and in the news of the man bumper, that's all over social media. Yeah, definitely. What is this? man romper? Oh my god. That is repulsive. So for Ben, would you ever wear a man romper? And then

for Ashley, a little bit different, if a guy that you're really into, attracted to shows up on your second or third date wearing a man romper, would that be a total deal breaker? Allie, how do you know I'm not wearing one right now? I mean, you might be. No, I would not wear a man romper. Those things not only look uncomfortable, but I can only imagine every time you like stand up or sit down or as a man like moving those things something's happening that doesn't exactly fit our bodies absolutely like we get camel towing them could you imagine the guys oh my gosh sorry alley i didn't mean to go yeah it's just very awkward to have this like so i'm just going to compare it to ski season so i wear a ski suit right it's a one-piece ski suit and anytime i have to do anything outside of

that suit it is a massive task like a massive task like a massive It is so annoying that I would almost choose to do whatever I've got to do just standing up inside the ski suit. Because it takes forever. It's uncomfortable. It's hot, right? It's constricting. Well, I'll tell you what you actually do in that scenario, Ben. You pull it over to the side.

Like when I go to the bathroom in a romper, I just pull over my underwear and that bottom part. Ashley. I'm sorry. I think I speak for 50% of women when I say that. For you guys, I don't know. I guess it depends on your size down there. Yeah, Allie, thank you for the call. I would not wear a romper.

You're the best. We appreciate it. And thank you for joining the Almost Famous podcast. I wouldn't want to date a guy who wears a romper. Oh, I understand. Okay, thanks, guys. Thanks, All right, everybody. This has been the second episode of the Almost Famous Podcast with IHeart Radio.

We appreciate you tuning in. We'll be back next week. I was Ben. And I were Ashley I We'll see you next week everybody Bye Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcasts on IHeartRadio

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