The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - S21, #8: No Place Like Home?

Episode Date: July 11, 2017

With The Bachelorette’s Hometown Dates looming… Ben goes deep into his own hometown visits. Is that where he made up his mind to choose Lauren? Were JoJo’s brothers the dealbreaker for Ben? �� Can the family or the town really sway a decision? Plus, does age matter? Ben and Ashley ask…the listeners answer. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Ben and Ashley I almost famous podcast with IHartRadio. Hello, everybody. We've missed you so much. Ashley is over here. Just anxious to start talking Bachelorette again. Yes, I'm so excited to finally talk about the top four. We got Dean, Brian, Peter, and Eric. And I think I called these four from the very beginning. Did you? Well, you're a big fan, Ashley, and you've been around for a while.

So I'm not surprised. Okay, before we get started, Ashley, I want to ask you if you had to rank these four guys in order with compatibility for Rachel. Right now, who would it be? I love the fact that you said with compatibility for Rachel, not yourself. Okay, so I'm going to rank Brian number one. Okay. I want to go with Eric number two. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, because they have so much fun together. And also because Peter at number three, he's like starting to doubt things. He doesn't know if he's ready. He has this guilt over his ex-girlfriend. It's a big deal. So then Dean number four because he's a babe. If you would have asked, if I would have guessed what you would order you to have been in, I knew Dean would be number four because in your mind you're going to continue to tell yourself,

you have a chance. And four is a great place for a chance. Well, I mean, I'm just saying, Ashley, you have been very interested in people. Peter and Dean since the very beginning. And I think that is for very similar reasons that Rachel is interested in these guys. But we learn a lot about them this week. This is hometowns week. This is a big week for them.

We get to see a little bit more intimate side than we've seen before. We get to meet their families, who they are around their families, what their families like. I know for me, during the bachelor, that was a huge week, one that was incredibly telling, I think, when it came to my commitment long term. Oh, my gosh. I have so many questions for you about hometowns. Well, then ask them. Okay. So did anyone, was there anyone who you really liked?

And then after meeting their family, you're like, oh, maybe I got to rethink this one. Yeah. I mean, honestly, I do. At that point, I really liked the four women I had. Who were they? The four women I had were Lauren, obviously, Jojo, Amanda Stanton, and Kayla. Now, you met Amanda's girls. I did.

Was that a lot of pressure? Yeah, I was very nervous about it. It is a lot of pressure. I thought a lot long and hard about if I should even go to hometowns. But then I was like, wait, what? Well, because I knew at that point my feelings for Amanda maybe weren't as strong as my feelings for some other girls. Her hometown. Yes.

Yeah, yeah. Her hometown specifically. Because my feelings weren't quite there yet. But then I wanted to explore it more because Amanda and I kind of had a late start to our relationship. It was week, you know, five or six before we really had our first one-on-one. So I said, well, maybe there is something to Amanda and I that I just don't know yet. And I don't want to give up on it. So, but that was a great hometown.

Honestly, for as difficult as it was emotionally to, to, and as, as much pressure as it felt like, I really enjoyed meeting her daughters. I really enjoyed seeing the mom she was. Her daughters love her so much. I got to see that up close. Yeah. Personal. So then I went to Kayla's hometown, which is an amazing family.

And I went to Jojo's hometown. And I think Jojo's hometown was maybe the most telling to me, not because of anything awful, but her brothers really didn't. at the time seemed to like me. So you're saying that even the parts that we didn't get to see on TV, it still wasn't a positive experience with the brothers? No, I don't think it was.

I couldn't say it was a positive experience because I think they were very protective of Jojo. And as a result, because of their protection of Jojo, I felt like I was never going to be invited in. I was never accepted. They knew the experience that we were partaking in. They knew what the show was about, right? Yeah, but then they, like, shamed you for it.

And I have a response. And so I couldn't be a part, I couldn't see myself being a part of a family at that time that hadn't even welcomed me into their home from the beginning. Right. It was a hard. It was really, it was really difficult. But then I went to Lawrence hometown and met her family who, obviously I, you know, got to know. Lawrence family is the greatest. The greatest.

So hometowns were very telling to me. It's a huge week. It is, in my opinion, the first week that you really fully get to see who these people are outside of the show. So when you went to Jojo's, did you think about that experience throughout the next week when you had to decide who to pick? Or were you just like, I know I'm picking a learn and it's not even an issue? Well, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't, you know, consider my experience at Jojo's hometown. You know, her family really wasn't terrible to me. Her parents were awesome.

Oh, they were. Her parents were amazing. Okay. And her sister was amazing. It was the brothers that just didn't accept me, which is fine. You know, they're protected with their sister. I get that. I don't have a sister, so I don't know how I'd react.

but it did make for a very contentious environment for me and as a result I couldn't look back on that hometown and say hey this is the family I could see myself being a part of this when the mom was swigging the wine out of the bottle oh god I loved it so much yeah that was a great yeah I mean it was a very stressful evening for us all but the point of all this is is that hometowns are very impactful in the relationship moving forward and you have what when you watch the show I don't know how many weeks there are but I know there is at least three weeks left and filming and so you get a lot of time with the final four or three women after hometowns a lot of a lot of time to build a relationship you have a lot of time after hometowns yeah you do yeah you have a couple weeks there to just really spend time with the three women so are we worried about dean because he's so worried about his his family not being the perfect family like the other guys may have i mean i you know here's here's my perspective on that and actually before i give mine i want to ask you yours if if you were the bachelorette okay and you're walking to hometowns and there was a family that wasn't perfect yeah okay not not that they were mean to

you not that they were angry with you but they just weren't perfect they had um their own story that maybe include brokenness like deans yeah um and tragedy how would you react would you be supportive of him of course i'd be supportive of him um i think that it would take me a while to get used to because i grew up in such a close-knit happy healthy family dynamic that i can't really anything else but I would of course be sensitive to it and who knows you know who knows what kind of family my husband's going to be at I'm sure it won't be as quote perfect as the family I grew up with yeah I mean you and the thing is when you fall in love you're falling in love with the person's best qualities worst qualities and their family you're there to support them

through any tragedies or issues they have in their family and so in my eyes like if you're falling in love with somebody that just comes along with it we all have we all have our stuff yeah and you just got to you got to embrace that stuff and um and if somebody was coming to me during my during my season said hey my family's not perfect we've we've had our own issues um and there's every other family here is perfect you know they they have their all their stuff going on i would hopefully i really cared about them just say okay that's fine i mean thank you and let's wrap this up and let's live this together but you're so you're so right that you know your family back background does make up the person that you are today and she obviously is so into Dean and he's such

a sweetheart and I'm sure that a lot of that those mush ball qualities that come along with him have to do with the way that he grew up well I mean yeah I mean you we've seen it since early on Dean has a maturity to him that is way beyond his years because of the story that he has from his life you know he has tragedy he has uh you know maybe not the best family dynamic at this point And because of that, he is a better man today, could we say? Right. I would never think that was a 25-year-old I've been watching. I think moving forward, Dean's story will impact Rachel more than maybe anybody else's.

Could you agree with that? As in, like, watching her experience in his hometown will be more influential. I would say possibly, yeah. But I don't know. I don't really know. wait do i think it's going to affect her opinion on him no i don't know i don't mean opinion i mean do you think living in that experience uh like his hometown i think it'll just demonstrate the strength that he has and the maturity that he has for his age i i agree with you completely i think

it'll probably add to her admiration of him i agree well and honestly that now that's the storyline i am excited to watch during this season the bachelorette but you know what else what It's really exciting to have during The Bachelorette. What? A shout out to another great sponsor of the Almost Famous Podcast. So, you know what the perfect meal is as you watch The Bachelorette. It's pizza and wine. And that's why we're thrilled to announce our new sponsor, Wink, W-I-N-C.

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of age okay rachel is um about 30 right she's 30 31 31 um and we have this guy Peter who is the closest to her age and the with the final four guys left yeah he's 31 too um but Peter right now seem to have the hardest time breaking down his walls, which happens every season. Yeah. So why is it that it takes so long or it's so hard for guys or girls, I guess, during the bachelor or bachelor to break down their walls so they can be fully themselves? What does that even mean? Well, I actually had a conversation about a week ago about this very topic, and I was told

that guys don't really feel comfortable with their self emotionally until they're encroaching 40. This is only the opinion of one man. What do you think about that? well now I'm questioning myself I think you're pretty in touch with your emotions I mean yeah I cry a lot but no I mean I don't know if that can be true I don't think that's true I think we have phases and seasons in life that we are constantly changing and progressing and trying to become better whatever but I don't know 40 is the cutoff that seems to me like it just sounds like an excuse from somebody that's below 40 to say yeah I'm not I'm not really finding myself yet but that's okay

because I really only have to find myself at 40. Okay, yeah. They're saying that I have a couple more years in order to be emotionally mature. And what was that word that Taylor would always use? She was emotionally intelligent. So do you think that guys are more or less emotionally intelligent and if that has anything to do with the age that you should be dating?

I don't think so. I mean, I think it's a one-off basis. So we have people in history, men and women, who have had large impacts, in our society, way below 40. I don't think there's an age. I think it's who you're trying to be, when you're trying to be them,

and who you are as a person. And I think everybody's different in that. For Peter, Peter seems to be stuck up on this thing where he's emotionally unable to move, to break himself down to the point of saying, Rachel, I'm confident enough at this moment to tell you who I am.

He seems to have something he's hiding. Well, it's apparently this ex-girlfriend who he continues to feel guilt about. we don't really know much more beyond that but i think that probably in this situation it's probably peter saying like i may not be as into you and i may be a little bit afraid to vocalize that it's interesting because you have guys like dean i mean dean's what 25 years old 26 years old and he seems to be incredibly ready to pursue a relationship with rachel's true um but then you have The opposite with a guy named Brian.

Brian's, what, 37? So he's close to your 40-year-old cutoff. Yeah. So that brings up the question. Is it okay for Rachel to date a younger man? And again, is it okay for Dean being a younger man to date an older woman? I think we're generalizing a whole bunch of stuff that probably cannot be generalized because it's probably on an individual basis.

People are either emotionally mature and ready for a relationship or when they're young or they're old and they're not ready. It doesn't really matter. We were just talking about this beforehand. We both feel like we were kind of like born ready for a relationship. Maybe that's not the actual case, but you and I have always craved that. But maybe some people aren't in touch with themselves enough to crave that. People say it's a double standard that they're judging Dean for being young because Rachel's the

older woman, as opposed to Brian, who is the exact same number of years older as Dean is younger. But people are very comfortable with older man, younger woman. Girls are always taught that guys are less mature than them. So that's why we are expected to date up. That's interesting. Let's see what Emily thinks in Colorado. Emily in Colorado, would you date a younger guy? You know, I honestly wouldn't.

I have before, and it just did not end well. I'm always looking for someone who kind of has their life together and who has goals and is working towards. them and sometimes I just feel like younger guys aren't into that. What was the age difference? It was two years. Two years. I would think that you wouldn't detect anything with two years.

I would say, yeah, continue. It was kind of hard because I was about to, I mean, granted, I was going to college. So it was that kind of age difference where he was going to still be in high school. And that's the only experience I have with younger guys. But he was, he didn't want me to go to college. You wanted me to stick around in my hometown, and I was like, not about that. It all depends on where you are in life. I think that's a big monumental life change, like high school and college.

And then for me, if I were to date down now and some guy in his mid-20s, he may not be ready to settle down now. But me as a girl in my upper 20s, I'm like, I'm not going to date anyone unless they have marriage potential in them. Exactly. Yes, I feel exactly the same way. Well, thank you for calling in here. We have Holly in Oakland. Holly, what do you think about this situation? Can you date a younger man? Do men mature more slowly than women?

From your perspective, what's that? What's it like? Well, I'm 22. So at age 22, I would not date someone younger than me. Because then you'd be robbing the cradle. Oh, boy. Yeah. That would be, it'd just be too weird.

And it's hard enough to date a guy in my own age. because I feel like a 22-year-old guy is like, I don't know, a 17-year-old girl mentally. How did you feel at 22, Ben? I mean, I don't know, but that's an interesting perspective that she just brought up. Can you repeat what you just said? A 22-year-old guy is maturity-wise, like a 17-year-old girl. That's what we're taught. We are taught that they're normally four years behind us maturity-wise.

Where are we basing these facts on? You've never heard this stuff? I'm just getting crushed right now. Just absolutely neither. I have no response. I know. I'm so confused. I thought this was just a common thing that mothers always taught their daughters.

Really? Okay. Well, I mean, so it moves us in kind of away from even the idea can an older woman date a young guy to are guys mature enough to, to handle an older woman? It's a special guy. Well, I think it levels out eventually. Yeah, eventually. They all catch up. So that's why at my age.

now I wouldn't date younger but you know give me a few years and I probably would exactly if you're in your 30s and you're say you're a 37 year old woman and you're married to a 34 year old there's no difference there right well hey thank you for calling in you're it's such an interesting topic to talk about and I'm not done talking about it yet and neither is Ashley so we have Megan in New York Megan would you date a younger man no why not why not we need some Somebody to say yes. Oh, it's just because I don't want to feel like an old woman, like a cougar. I agree with you.

You know what? When I used to be obsessed with the Jonas brothers, Joe and I are only a year and a half apart. And even having a crush on a guy a year and a half younger than me that I took very seriously, you know, this crush. I felt like, oh, could he really be a man with me? Oh, my God. What is that? Let's not talk about with that. Never mind.

I don't know. You do. You feel like, are they going to protect me if a guy comes? into the house with a gun, this is what I would think of. This is what I used to think of. This is what I used to think of. Actually, we got a lot to talk about offline here. Ben's a year younger than me, but I would trust him

if a burglar came in the house. Thanks, Ashley. Right, yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was like, you are, weren't you older than him, but barely? He's a year exactly younger than me. Well, I just want to make a comment before we move forward here. Harry Stiles is only 23.

So Ashley And in that case There's always exceptions I would go 23 And that's only six years That's Rachel That's Rachel and Dean And Dean is

Yeah maybe like six months Six months Okay Hey Megan thank you for calling in Of course thank you All right I could talk about this forever I think we have somebody that's going to give

A perspective that we haven't heard yet And I want to hear Brooklyn and Kansas City Would you date a younger man? Yes. Okay, Brooklyn. Give her a second. Come on.

Have you? Have you dated a younger man? Well, it just depends on their maturity. So how old are you? I'm 14. Oh, geez. I just knew I had to ask this question. Thank you.

You know what? Let's listen here. Why would you at 14-year-old? years old believe you could date a younger man well it wouldn't be like more than a couple years I mean like a year there's not a lot of guys younger than you so you know it wouldn't be more a couple of years yeah you can't date a 12 year old yeah um no so honestly though okay put yourself in your 25 year old shoes yeah at that point would you see yourself dating a younger younger man or what's your perspective I guess is a better question of

Rachel and Dean's relationship on the Bachelorette. That's a great question. I think that they're really good for each other. I support it. I don't think that it's like the age. I think it's like the maturity level. So like obviously you're not going to be

30 and then date a 21 year old if they're childish. Are you sure you're 14? Yeah, you sound really mature. It's because you've been listening to all my podcasts. You know what? That is a big part of it. I learn a lot of stuff from you. I was going to say have you Brace yourself for the awful 20s in dating.

Oh, Ashley. Ben, we're both struggling. No, well, thank you so much. Real quick, the 20s aren't that bad. You're going to have a great 20s. I can predict it. I've loved my 20s. So much fun.

Just never had a boyfriend. Brooklyn, thanks for calling in. Yeah, thank you. All right. Before we move forward here, we got to talk about one of our sponsors today. Ashley, I know that you're a huge fan and you've been a part of this program for while it's our sponsor fab fit fun um they've been very supportive this podcast can you tell the listeners about it yeah so it's a subsub yes so fab fit fun is a subscription box you get it seasonally they just

came out with their summer box and it has two hundred dollars worth of products which is can range from beauty products health products houseware items all this good stuff gets delivered to your door four times a year and it's yeah it's two hundred dollars worth of merchandise but you're only getting it for forty nine dollars and ninety nine cents and with our code which is almost famous you can get your box for thirty nine dollars and ninety nine cents and it's just it's the best it's such a good bargain and i always discover new products through this box that i would have never discovered had it not been for the box like last season there was an exfoliant and now i'm addicted to this stuff. And now in this new summer box, I'm in love with this sunscreen that

they gave me in it. And I'm going to use it for foreseeably the rest of my life. So use almost famous. Use our code, almost famous. And you'll get the $10 off your Fab Pit Fund box, making it $39.99 for a box full of amazing goodies. We have some listener emails. Some topics have been brought up throughout this podcast that have been kind of our main topics one of them is can you be friends with your ex that that topic has gotten a ton of traction of the last few weeks we get a lot of emails talking about it you know I think you said it'd be hard to be friends with your ex I would say yes it'd be hard to be friends with your ex a lot of our listeners say yeah it's difficult but it's healthy if you can get to the point of at least

calling that person a friend yeah um so I want to ask you because this is kind of been some of the emails we get in the bachelor world right everybody's so connected everybody's what makes the bachelor world different than the real world when it comes to friendships outside of the show so yeah i'm glad that you brought this up because i do want to clarify um i feel like you're kind of forced into being friends with your ex after the show whether you're ready for it or not and i feel like people are very curious as to why jared and i are such close friends it's because we had so many things we had so many things we to do together for a while that you can't not be if you get along and you obviously got along

because you dated that when you're around the person you're like wait even if this isn't romantic I love being in your presence so yeah the bachelor it's it's weird because you're even if you're broken up you definitely can't avoid each other no so I guess in that with that being said this email that asked the question can you you know can you really be friends your exes and what makes it different in the bachelor world, we would say the bachelor world is different, but it also is an example of friendships can exist with your exes or people you dated. It just takes time and it has to be done responsibly. So moving on the next email, this one, you know, it's kind of fun to talk about. It's behind the scenes question, right? The email is from Samantha C. It says, I love listening to your podcast

every Tuesday during my lunch hour or when I'm getting ready in the morning. Anyways, I had a question as the bachelor or bachelorette do you know who is having drama in the house for example she asked me ben you took one of the twins and olivia on a date and it was super dramatic because of the beef between them who decides who goes on the two-on-one dates and group dates question is who knows the drama in the house the bachelor bachelor bachelor aturet really doesn't and that's the crazy part of the show you're kind of blocked off from anything happening behind closed doors that you're not on a date with or a part of or a group date I personally didn't love it

when one of the other contestants would ask or tell me, hey, you know, these two people are fighting in the house, it makes it really difficult for me and, you know, this person's just... Wait, you say you would like it? I didn't like it. Well, because you never know where that intention is coming from. Yeah.

So you don't know, you're doing your best, but I think as a viewer, it's really interesting now to watch it because you see these women or these men that are just causing trouble issues. And we're at home, like, why don't you send her home? Send him home now. Why are they still here?

Yeah. You know, six. And from the Bachelor of Bachelorette's perspective, we have no idea sometimes until we watch the show back. Yeah, that's so crazy. For me, the reason that I would, or that I did tell Chris what was going on with Kelsey is because back at home, all the girls left, there's like six of us. We were all like, oh, my God, this guy is, he can't see this. Like, he's got to get the wool pulled. He's getting his wool pulled over his eyes or whatever.

So at some point, you want to make sure they're not being tricked. but I feel like Chris kind of knew it was up. Did you kind of get an inkling just based on like watching the girls vibe together? Yeah, I mean, that's the, so that answers the second question here is who decides who goes on the two on dates. I started to get an inkling that these two, like these two girls were not getting along in the house. Just based on some of the conversations I had, their emotions around each other. And so ultimately, you decide, hey, if this is how it is, let's get them both sat down in the same room or the same environment. And then I can decide for myself, what is that relationship like between them and who is going?

You can decide for yourself? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you try to do the best you can with what you have because you don't have a lot of info. You don't have, you're kind of always in the dark. And so a two-on-one day is a really good way to say, hey, let's see what this relationship looks like between them. And then who has handled this maybe more maturely or responsibly?

Or, for example, maybe both of these women aren't for me or both these men aren't for the Bachelorette. And then they both go home, you know, like your case. So final email. This is a great question. One that I'm super interested in. This is a question for you, Ashley. Yeah. Okay, so that Caitlin R says this.

If Dean and Peter were announced as a next bachelor, would you go back on the show? And I have to add this thing because it's how she closes the email. And we need to give herself from credit. She goes, I'm loving this podcast, all caps. I've never podcasted before, and now I'm hooked. That's awesome. I've never podcast before either.

I just listened to my own, which is weird. This is a great question because obviously, been pretty outspoken about thinking that those two are pretty great. But the reason, there are two reasons I wouldn't go back. One, I think it's a bad look for me personally. It's like at this point, come on, girl, we're done. We're done. We're over you. Secondly, Ben, don't you think it doesn't look the best to have a girl come on the second or third or fourth season? Like, did you tell me honestly what you thought when Becca showed up in that limo? didn't you feel like oh this girl maybe just wants to just do it again i don't i mean

becca and amber both came back on again i think i was excited for the possibility of i i had seen becca on tv i'd seen amber on tv they were both uh two women that seemed like they had great character if you can't close the door to that right if they had watched me on tv and they had access to get back on the show and they were interested that actually was a huge compliment to me i was very thankful for the idea that they were going to risk their their image, the public perception, to try to pursue a relationship with me, that meant a ton. Okay, okay. That's totally a different way of looking at it. And I would have never thought you would have explained it to me that way. What if you do that winter games thing and you all

go skiing and then drink hot chocolate and fall in love? Oh, yeah. I forgot that that's even a possibility that one of the two of them could be on the winter games. You're really pushing for that, aren't you? I'm not. I actually think I should stop talking about that. Why? Because like, I don't want to pretend like this is something that is likely and it's probably not well actually i hope positive thinking is a real thing i i do believe in power of positive thinking so you know with all this we love your emails we love your comments please uh tweet at us at hashtag almost famous podcast but you know as as we're reading today we also have an email address now bit and ashartmedia com. Again, that's Ben and Ashley at iHeartMedia.com. We have one final email here. It's from Monica. Monica asked a question, and this is our fault. We kind of skipped over this. We mentioned it in, I think, a podcast two. It's a question for that we said we're going to have Olivia on our next episode to talk about a situation in Paradise called with a guy named Derek Pet. Derek was on Jojo's season of The Bachelorette. Ashley, you have the inside scoop into this. I've heard a little bit about it. Why didn't Olivia come on our podcast?

well they they dated and I think she's been pretty open with that but she just feels like it's a private thing between the two of them and she no longer feels comfortable discussing it especially since you know Derek was announced as part of the original cast on paradise and if she does feel like talking about it at some point or another I'm sure she will end up talking about it on her own podcast and maybe she'll even have Derek on who knows maybe during the paradise season she'll have Derek on maybe we can have the two of them I'm on and they can confront each other right here. I would love that. So you're saying they dated up until Paradise. No, not up until Paradise. Okay. So where's the, where's the juiciness? I'm not going to give you any juiciness. We've got to have him on. We've got to have

Derek and Olivia in this studio. In the studio. Discussing this, figuring this out. Let's see how he comes across on Paradise. The better he looks, the more I would want to take him down personally. If he looks like a good guy and I know he's not.

Oh my gosh I don't know he's not Actually now we're getting juicy I'm just going to have to close it off here I don't know if he is or is he not but if I was the girl who was treated poorly

I would get back at him I have a question Ben how unattractive is it that I like love to play the Taylor Swift role that I love to call out bad guys publicly it just means I got to stay on your good side I mean you're never going to cross

that side. It's not in your DNA. But is it very unattractive for a girl to, like, air her dirty laundry? I don't know if it's attractive or not attractive. I think there's a level of respect. And I don't think you've crossed that line with anybody. If somebody mistreats somebody, not that they should be called out publicly every time, you might want to confront that person individually. If you have an issue with any of these guys in your life or any of these women in your life, my opinion is, you know, confront them one-on-one. if there's no positive response Yeah, if there's not a positive response, then what?

Then either you allow it to just kind of move forward and you've done your duty by saying, hey, I've been hurt or hey, I'm affected or hey, I don't think that decision was right. Or because you have the platform, you call them out on this podcast. But do you think that there's a teaching lesson to be had here?

Like, it's like, you screwed me over. I am going to say, now I'm going to call you out and now, no? No. It won't work. It won't work. And I think it just, I think it just adds more.

more pain. So I think there is a, there's a responsibility there where you say, I should always confront my issues with a person one-on-one and publicly is very, very rarely the right decision. Yeah. And especially when it comes to your personal life, because there are a lot of things that people do in our lives that hurt us. And if we just call people out of the time, it spreads a lot of negativity. But Ashley, you know what's not negative? What? Oh my gosh. Can we just tell you all out there that there is one necessary accessory for this summer. And I asked I know you're all about it. We all need to have it.

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So make Forever 21 your one-stop shop. I know it totally is for me. Whenever I can't find something, it's like, oh, I'm just going to go to Forever because they have everything. All things summer will be there and you'll be hashtag Forever Rewarded. Wow.

I want to be Forever Rewarded. So, with that being said, before we wrap up this week's episode, let's take a quick peek. So with that being said, before we wrap up this week's episode, let's take a quick sneak relationship, quick sneak in a, oh, let's sneak in a, oh, sorry. So with that being said, before we wrap this week's episode, let's sneak in a quick relationship advice call. All right. Crystal Lynn. Hey, you're in Texas. How can we help you?

Okay, so I just need a little bit of advice. Okay. So I was talking to this dude for like a good six, seven months. Everything was great. And we went on like a little trip together with all of my friends. Okay. And it was like a great trip. Like it made me even closer to him.

Like I thought it was really going somewhere. Like I could really see myself with this guy long term. Are you ghosted in this story? Uh, kind of. Okay, continue, sorry. Um, okay, so, um, after that weekend, he kind of gets a little distant. I'm like, what's going on? Like, we had such a good weekend.

And he was like, yeah, man, I, you know, I love the weekend. I love them spending so much time with you. It was great. And like that next week, you just kept pulling you away. And I was like, are you sure? Okay. And I just feel like, we got too close. Like, I feel like we're married now.

I'm 21. I don't want to feel like I'm married. And I was like, okay, like, okay, I kind of get that. I don't feel the same way, but I understand. like we're young we should do our own thing fine like okay fine um and so we agree to like still kind of continue talking but just not as serious but he just continues to pull away and pull away and sometimes he won't even text me back he'll leave me on red so i look on his social media and i find out that he's back with his ex-girlfriend oh well there you go there's your answer um how old

are you i'm 21 okay so you wrote 21 well i just you know that's what happened that sucks and i'm sad for you but you guys weren't you weren't exclusive you're just dating well we were to an extent before he said like okay I thought we were married we got to stop I'm just like why like what is the purpose of like pulling away and not just telling me up front right away like I totally would have said if you just told me this is something guys do and I think they think they're being nice I think they're they think they're being nice by coming up with another excuse but you just be better off if you just knew the honest truth right exactly like I can handle it just tell me straight up I totally can understand but and then that's not even the worst part the

worst part is that I he's with her still but he still tries to have lunch with me and want to come out and like come over and go out and do this and I'm like what about your girlfriend like aren't you with her still why are you still worried and trying to date and let him do things if you're with your girlfriend Kristen you need to protect yourself here I'm going to say this and it's no longer appropriate or it doesn't sound like this guy is going to treat you fairly and so having lunch with him and continuing to have access or allowing him to have access into your life is no longer fair to yourself. My advice, and my advice coming from a man is, you know, I don't know what his intention was

by not telling you. I know sometimes I fail at that is not being as clear in my communication with women. Maybe I've dated in the past and saying, hey, this is now over. I can no longer do this. I don't, I think as I hear your story, there was a level of intimacy from having this trip with him that maybe he felt like it would damage you too much if he was too honest and said, based on this trip or based on, you know, the intimacy that we experience together, now I'm just going to, I'm moving forward.

And maybe he just didn't want to own up to that himself. And but now it's time for you to move on, for him to move on. He seems to be moving on just fine. You're right. Well, you just all need guys like Ben. I know. Ben, but you have you, have you done that? Like, do you sugarcoat breakups and, like, use a different excuse?

That's not the real reason? Um, you know, I used to. And I think it's a, there's a lot to that. It's a level of confidence. If you can communicate clearly what you're breaking up with a person for, um, how intimate the relationship was. You know, that always, it has to be thought through. Um, but yeah, I have. I've made that mistake. I've sugarcoded things. I haven't communicated as clear as I'd wanted to. But you learn that lesson because you see the pain it causes. You listen to people like crystalline here and you hear, hey, this guy might have had great intentions by sugar coding it, but it hurt her more. And so hopefully, if this guy's listening, and if you are, whoever you are in Texas, Christland's hurt, so own up to it and just tell her, hey, I've moved forward with my ex-girlfriend, I'm back with her, this no longer is appropriate. Exactly. Christland, thank you so much for the call that is a great topic. And again, it's a topic we could talk about for hours and hours and hours on end.

But because we don't have that time and because the almost famous podcast for this week. Has come to a close. What the heck? Why? I don't want to leave. I get talked about it in forever because I just want to get into the male brain. Well, luckily, Ashley, for both of us, we have many more weeks of this podcast remaining. So I always leave wanting more and my mom told me to always leave people wanting more.

And that's what you do to me, Ben. Oh, Ashley, come on. So before we go, I want to give you a quick shout out to our sponsors. A big thank you to Wink W-W-I-N-C the world's first and only personalized wine club. go to winkwync.com slash almost famous for $20 off your first order. Also, FabFit Fun, that's FabFitFun.com. Use promo code, Almost Famous for $10 off your Fab Fit Fun box this summer.

And finally, thank you to Forever 21. Get a Forever 21 credit card today at any Forever 21 store. Hey, everybody. We'll talk to you next week. I've been Ashley. I've been Ben. Bye Follow the Ben and Ashley I

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