The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - S3 #10 Back to the Basics
Episode Date: November 22, 2017Ben and Ashley are joined by the Original Bachelorette Trista Sutter as she takes a trip down memory lane. She also reveals how she tells her kids how ‘Mom and dad met’ and addresses whether or... not she’d let her kids seek love on TV. Plus Ben’s parents are visiting...he reveals his celebrity crush and Ashley shares a dark holiday secret. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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It's a bunch of professionals.
This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast with IHartRadio.
I'm Ben.
I'm Ashley.
Hello, everyone.
Hey.
Ben, how you doing on this Thanksgiving week?
I'm so good.
My family's in town.
I'm in Denver.
I didn't make the trip to L.A.
because it's time to spend time with the family.
Right.
Well, I'm not in L.A. either.
I'm in Virginia.
With the family.
Yeah.
See, I mean, so, so far, my family's been in town a few days.
One of the best things, Ashley, about my parents being in town is they come out to Denver,
and all they want to do is work on my house.
Me too.
My parents do that when they come to my places.
It's the wildest thing.
This trip, they drove out from Indiana.
They get out here, and within the first two hours, they literally are having me walk around the house,
picking out things to say, this is what you can.
do this trip this is what you can't do this trip because i know if i let them have free range
they're just going all out and changing so many things about my little house oh my gosh but i love that
every time my mom goes to one of my apartments i say one of them because i'm like thinking back in like
the years it's like every time i have a new apartment she goes in and she's like moving around furniture
and she goes to home goods to get cute stuff she's like you need a rug in here i'm like okay mom
you can go get me a rug it is a love language i think it is like it's the parents way
of saying, you know, we can't be around all the time, but we're still your parents,
we still love you, and we still know what's best for you, and we know where everything
goes, because I lose my own stuff all the time.
Yeah.
Well, well, how was Guatemala?
You came back a couple days ago, like, what, like five years ago?
Ashley was Honduras.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Honduras.
Honduras.
I know where he is, at least.
It was so good.
It was really, really good.
I did have a little bit of disappointment.
So I went to an island called Roiton, which is an island right off of Honduras.
It's a beautiful island, one of the most beautiful places have ever been in my life.
And I scuba dive for the first time.
Unfortunately, I went down to Roiton to kind of get some sun, to relax, to kick back for a few days because there's been a lot going on.
And I'm not kidding you.
Ashley, it rained from morning to night every day of the trip.
And so I spent a lot of time inside in a teaky hut looking out the ocean.
Oh, well, that sounds kind of tranquil.
It was.
The weirdest part, though, and this is a compliment to you, Ash.
So I'm in Rootan, and I'm getting one of those beach massages.
You know the ones that people walk up down the beach, say, hey, you know, $10 for 20 minutes.
Can we give you a massage?
I'm getting a beach massage.
And this tourist tour bus, so it's a big island for cruise ships.
And so this cruise ship bus gets off as I'm getting this massage on the beach, and these girls go, oh, Ben, hey, hey, and they run over and interrupt my, you know, very calming, relaxing.
massage which is super nice of them and what they tell me is they said we listen to your
podcast we love Ashley so much and I say good good so I'm going to tell her so I promised
them that I would let you know all the way from Roiton Honduras people are fans of you
Ash that is the coolest thing that's so cool also shout out to cruise ships everywhere
because there's nothing more in life that I love more than a cruise.
Speaking of love, we have some interesting Bachelor news that I don't know a lot about.
So I'm going to trust you and your knowledge of what's going on in the world to help me out here.
So I have a note here that says that January Jones went on Corden, the late night show again,
and is talking about Nick Vile and how he reached out to her people, but she doesn't know why.
Am I correct here?
No, okay.
So January Jones, big bachelor fan.
Apparently she has a crush on you and Nick.
After you did the lip sing battle, I think they reached out to Nick to see if he'd be interested in also doing his own lip sing battle.
But he thought it would be really funny if January Jones was the person that I battle because she's a bachelor fan and apparently has like maybe interest in me.
so I think Nick or like his agent reached out to January's people as we were talking about last episode like you know we'll have my people call your people you can like set up this you know this love right what a weird world what a weird world and she she declined she said no I don't want to do lip sync battle and I'm and I think it's because she said she had like some concerns that he was just trying to embarrass her
or like that it was just going to be like,
I don't know, she said that she would like to meet Nick,
but not in a competitive environment such as that,
and not in an environment where she can be publicly humiliated on TV.
Okay, so what do you think Nick's waiting on?
Nick's a good point here.
So, yeah, the bottom line here is that it seems like January
would be totally down to go on a date with Nick or you, I think,
if she was just asked flat out, hi January,
my name's Nick, my name's Ben.
I would like to go on a date with you.
All right.
That's what she's looking for.
She's looking for not to be rejected, she said.
So, Ben.
I don't know. Yeah, what's up?
Why don't you just ask her?
I think she's cute.
I love her show.
She's on that Will Forte last man on Earth show.
Yeah, why don't I just ask her?
I don't know.
I mean, I guess.
You can ask her right here so you don't have to get people involved.
Exactly what she was saying she doesn't want to happen is like this roundabout way of asking her out.
But if you were to bump-ender, how would you do it?
If I were to bump-ender, how are you?
Okay, so I'm actually going to use, I'm not great at the first line or the first intro, okay?
I really like talking to people and going on dates.
I don't mind that at all, but the first line's always hard for me.
So I got a little advice from actually my buddy, Nick Fyle, on a good line to use when you meet somebody.
Say, hey, you know what, January, I understand that you're way too pretty to not have a boyfriend,
friend, but if you ever happen to be single, I would love to take you out sometime.
How does that sound?
That's cute.
That's nice.
That's nice, isn't it?
So that's probably the line I would use.
I actually, though, just because we're on the topic and I don't want to forget,
I thought about my celebrity crush, and I actually have one.
Awesome.
Who?
Sophia Bush.
Okay.
That's great.
And we can do that.
We can do that.
Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's not what I was asking for.
I was just saying, hey.
That is.
That is.
That is.
That is what we're working on.
somebody who you could actually logistically get with.
Like, not a Jennifer Anderson, a Sophia Bush, a bee lister.
I never said that I was, like, wanting to get back in the dating field.
So, like, I just was saying, I was just saying, hey, like, she's really cute.
She seems really nice.
She seems to have a great big heart.
She definitely seems like she has a big heart.
She does.
So I was like, you know what?
That is a girl that I can admire.
So there you go.
Take it or leave it, Ashley, and Amy.
Um, you, that, that is my celebrity crush.
I like it.
Doesn't she have that sort of sexy raspy voice?
Yeah, she is the best voice.
Guys, you don't have to talk me into this.
I already told you.
Okay.
Well, we need to give an update on Jimmy Garoppel because I'm getting a lot of tweets asking like,
Ashley, what's your status?
And, well, Amy hasn't told me what my status is.
I think that means that nothing's happened.
Nothing so far.
Which is fine because I think maybe we should just hold off for the next month and then we will revisit
this.
when it's the off season.
That is exactly what I was going to say.
It's very challenging for a football player during football season.
Yeah.
Come February.
Well, for him January, because the team's only won once.
Oh, they're terrible.
Yeah.
The 49ers are terrible?
This year, yes.
So he just won their first game a couple days ago.
And Ben, please correct me if I'm wrong.
I've been way out of the football loop this year.
Did they beat my Giants?
I actually don't know who San Francisco beat, but I do know.
that Ashley, that was a really sweet comment that you just made about Jimmy, saying,
hey, I want to wait until your life slows down a little bit so that we can focus on each other.
I think that's what you're trying to say.
You already kind of sound like a girl dating a football player.
That's funny.
Very understandable.
That's my new thing.
It's all about the long game.
Oh, well, I think I've been playing the long game my entire life.
It's a marathon, not a sprint, is what I think.
Marathon, not a sprint.
I know he's out there waiting for you.
I know he knows about you.
So you got to keep us updated, though.
I mean, this is a really big deal to me, even, to hear, you know, how this plays out.
And you are right.
As I look it up, San Francisco beat your Giants last week, 3110, or 3121.
So that was his, there was their first win of the season and his first win as a starting quarterback.
So I'm going to let him ride this out.
And then we'll revisit in January.
And hopefully by January, we have been set up with Sophia.
Yeah. Well, hey, speaking of big stories, we have a couple big pregnancies in Bachelor Nation.
Ali Fittowski is announcing that she is pregnant with their second child. That's a huge big news for them.
I mean, what a cool couple. I've got to be around them a couple times. And I've really enjoyed watching them be parents. They really seem like great parents.
And along with Allie, you have Sean and Catherine who are pregnant again, who, you know, is obviously one of the most successful love stories to ever come out of Bachelor Nation.
So congratulations to both of them.
so cool so cute love the bachelor babies and uh carly is doing three months
oh jeez that's wild i mean look at this see there's a lot of love
how many bachelor babies have y'all met uh i haven't met a bachelor baby yet which is so weird
but i will be meeting emmy in january ben have you met our next guest kids i have yeah
i guess that is true yeah we have a next guest who is the og of the bachelorette trista
will be coming on the show today.
I mean, come on.
Does it get any better than Trista?
Can you pick a better first bachelorette than Trista Sutter?
She has been the epitome of class through this whole process.
And her and Ryan both have two children of their own.
Yeah.
They've been married like 14 years.
Isn't that nuts, guys?
And they live out here in Vail, Colorado, about an hour and a half from me.
I've actually been up to their house.
And they welcomed us in about a year and a half ago to kind of come in and hang out and see their family.
Just really great people, a really cool love story.
And Ryan's hot.
Yeah.
You should tell Trista.
Yeah.
I remember seeing Ryan at Jaden Tanner's wedding, and I was like, that guy looks like he could play Superman.
He is a stud, and you know what he does?
And this is – well, I asked Trista about it.
But when I was with him a year and a half ago, we were sitting at his house, and I was saying,
Oh, Ryan, what are you up to this weekend?
He goes, oh, I'm running a race.
I said, oh, that's crazy.
So when do you leave?
He goes, I'm going to head out tomorrow morning.
I said, how long is a race?
100 miles.
He runs 100 mile races still.
I mean, I think he's over 40, or at least is getting close to it.
The guy is an absolute stud.
He is a special.
What?
How is that possible?
Wait, 100, 100 miles straight?
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
Don't you die?
No, Ashley.
I don't think you die.
I hope you don't die.
How do you train to run 100 miles?
Miles, that's like my house in D.C. halfway to New York.
Yeah, well, you should start trying.
See how far you make it.
Hey, not to change the subject completely, but we are going to talk to Tristan a little bit, which I'm super excited about.
She's great.
I want to hear Ashley, Chris Souls, one of my good buddies, and, you know, we all have been
familiar with his journey over the last, you know, year and a half here, and then kind of what's
brought him to this point today.
What is the latest with him?
I see he is now on social media.
Is there any other updates that you know of?
Oh, I don't know any others.
I know that you guys keep in touch with him a little bit more than I do.
I just know that his legal team is asking the court to dismiss a charge against him about failure to remain.
They're fighting that charge because he stayed and attempted CPR.
And he waited until the paramedics came.
Okay.
Oh, interesting.
But yeah, he is back on social.
He had gotten rid of his Instagram for a while, but now it's back.
And he's been liking posts and commenting, I think, so.
So, Amy, what do you know about, I mean, you are familiar with this situation?
Like, what are the next steps here?
What should we, are we expecting to hear anything from Chris?
How does this kind of play out?
No, I'm looking up while you guys talk the date of the next hearing, which I think is the actual trial.
Okay.
I thought it was in January, but while you guys talk, let me look it up.
I thought it was in January, too.
Sounds good.
All right, while we wait.
Yeah, while we wait here, I'll be.
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Hey, Aim, did you figure out anything?
January.
The trial is slated for January.
No date yet.
All right. Well, we will update you on that as the time comes. But now we have Trista Renn. Trista Sutter. Trister Renn was her old name. Tresta are you there? I'm here. I was like Trister Wren. Wow, I haven't heard that in a long time.
How crazy is that? That just came out of my mouth.
How are you?
No, I didn't. It just was like a reflex from like my sophomore year in high school.
Are you sure it wasn't like elementary school?
No, I promise you.
I'm pretty darn sure it was my sophomore year.
How are you guys?
We're great.
How are you?
I'm good.
Are you guys in ever?
I am back for this whole week.
My family came in.
I was just telling Ashley that today my parents came up and met me for lunch in Evergreen.
So we had a beautiful lunch, snowing outside.
Life in Colorado is really nice in the winter.
It's the best.
In the summer, it's even better, though, I have to say.
I agree.
No, have you started skiing yet?
Yeah.
Have you started?
You've lived there for 15 years, but I started skiing.
No, this year, this season.
No.
No, the mountain, actually, I think it opens tomorrow.
But I don't know if you know this about me.
We may have talked about it in the past, but I'm not a huge skier.
I actually, you know, committed to moving to the mountains for my handsome mountains.
man that I met on a little show called The Bachelorette, and I'm not into it.
You know, I live here, but I'm more of a homebody in the winter.
I let it be Ryan and the kids' things, you know, being able to have a couple kids who started skiing when they were two years old is pretty cool.
Where are you from originally?
So I was born in Indianapolis, and then I...
Shout out to Indiana.
Hi, that's my girl.
That's my girl.
Look at you guys. You're following each other's footsteps.
Anyway, I was born in Indy. I was raised in St. Louis, and then I went to IU, and then I went to University of Miami for grad school, and then I lived there for seven years, and then moved to L.A., as we all know, and then came to Colorado.
Now I'm a Colorado, girl.
What's your master's in?
What's my master's in?
Yeah.
In physical therapy. I was a pediatric physical therapist.
Hey, Krista, I got to let you know this.
This is huge.
Did you just call me Krista?
No, I said Trista, right?
Yeah, he said, does that?
Sometimes I get distracted.
Maybe I did.
Hey, I got to let you know, guess what I'm doing December 1st?
What?
I'm going back to IU to speak about generous coffee with my buddy Riley at the Kelly School.
No, you're not.
I am.
How exciting is I?
Actually, I have a friend.
Okay, so one of my sorority sisters at Alfa Kai just, um,
has her daughter, who just started at the Kelly Business School,
and so I will tell her that she has to look out for you.
Her name's Isabel Connell.
I would love to meet Isabel Connell.
Please tell her to come, say hi.
And I'm going to stop by Al-A-Ka-Kai, because if you remember,
I actually, my college girlfriend was in the same sorority that you were in.
So, as a result, I'll stop by and say hi because that place I have a lot of great memories at.
I'm sure, but you couldn't go really exploring because you weren't allowed, or were you?
Sorry, that's my phone.
Well, were you allowed, like, 15 years after I went to college?
When did you graduate in 2012?
Oh, my.
Okay, I'm sorry, but you guys are way too young.
No.
This is how I feel with other kids these days.
Like, all the other bachelor kids, I'm like, you were born in 1992.
Yeah.
Trista, don't worry.
Trista, I'm here.
I'm here for you.
I'm here for you. I think I'm older than you.
Give me a break.
This is not Ashley.
No, it's Amy Sugarman.
Amy Sugarman.
See, you guys, Amy's famous.
So this is what's funny.
Trista and I have known each other since she was on The Bachelor.
15 years ago.
No, I mean, I was on Ryan's Secret show when he had his, like, his little talk show thing.
On Valentine's show, we did tons of stuff.
I love you, Amy.
I miss you.
I love you.
I'm so happy you could come on.
Well, I mean, thanks for thinking of this like old dinosaur bachelor person.
It's actually perfect for Thanksgiving week, which Ben and Ashley, after we do all our gossiping,
we'll talk about your book, which is so great for this week.
And I love that you wrote it and, you know, shared your thoughts.
And, you know, Ben will ask you all about it.
Trista, we have so much to talk to you about.
I want to start by saying we started talking about you at the beginning of the podcast.
And Ashley and Amy both agreed that Ryan is, I think in Ashley's word,
He's hot.
He could play Superman, I said.
He's very Clark Kent-esque.
I call him Clark Kent all the time.
Oh, my gosh.
See, when I saw him at Jane Tater's wedding, I was like, that guy could be Superman with the glasses.
Well, he is to me, you know.
Oh, that was really sweet.
Oh, I love that.
Thanks, Ashley.
Yeah, he's, I mean, you know, that's one of the reasons why I married him.
I'm not stupid.
I got to ask.
Okay, how old are your kids?
Max is 10 and Blake'sley is 8.
All right, so they know how you met.
You've got to tell me how you told your kids the story of how you met.
Yeah.
So last summer we were visiting Michigan, and we were in a hotel room, oddly enough.
And I don't know if there was something going on on TV or something.
And Blake's Lee was like, how did you meet Daddy?
And I'm like, and Ryan wasn't even there.
And I'm like, oh, my God, what do I say?
Like, how am I going to go into this?
Like, what do I have to say?
So anyway, I just told them that we.
met on TV. You know, they, they are very observant of all of the people who, you know, ask us
for pictures and tell us that they, you know, watched us on television and loved our season and all
of that. So over the years, they have had to suffer through a lot of strangers' photos.
And I just told them, you know, that we were on TV. They have not seen the show. And I don't
know that we'll show them that for quite a while.
while. I don't want them seeing mommy dating 25 times and time. But we were actually just talking
about breaking out the wedding video for our anniversary because we will be celebrating 14 years
on December 6th.
Amazing.
Yeah.
Congrats.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And how cool is it that your kids can watch your $3 million wedding back?
Yeah, I mean, definitely, I'm hopeful that my daughter doesn't think that she's going to be having her parents fork out three or four million dollars for her wedding, unless we, of course, win the lottery.
But, no, I mean, it's such a cool little perk of the show is being able to have, you know,
and that's one of the reasons that we did ultimately say yes to it is that, you know,
we wanted to be able to have ABC, I mean, a major television network filming our memories from that day.
and it, you know, it was awkward at times.
I'll definitely admit that, especially because, I don't know if you guys know this,
but Charlie, who was the number two guy on the show,
was actually like a little commentator during the wedding.
No way.
Oh, yeah, way.
Very awkward.
He was like in the room when Ryan and Bob, his dad,
were having their little, like, last minute talk before they went out.
I mean, super awkward, but just one of those.
those things that, you know, we agreed to deal with because we wanted to be able to have,
you know, this dream wedding that we could, you know, end up showing our kids on a VHS tape nonetheless.
Right.
My big question for you then, would you, because of all the perks, and there is a downside,
we all know it, would you allow your daughter to go on this show?
I would.
I would because, you know what, as, you know, I hope that my book kind of shows.
and my post and everything.
I try to be a positive person
and focus more on the positive than the negative.
And, I mean, obviously, for me and Ryan
and the ability to be introduced
through a crazy, untraditional way on The Bachelorette,
it was the best positive ever.
And I would love for her to be able to meet someone.
I mean, when I was on the show
and when I was asked to do the show
after being on The Bachelor.
You know, this kind of genre, this kind of format had never been done before.
And for a woman to kind of take the reins was like unheard of.
Like people were gasping in the reporting world.
Like I remember being called every name in the book and saying that I was going to be sending the women's movement back, you know, decades or whatever.
and just trying to be strong through it because I knew that it could potentially be life-changing for me.
And so, yes, 100%, I would say, and I say to all the people who, anyone who asked me if they should do the show, if they should do a wedding, you know, Ben, we talked about it, I feel like at one point.
I feel like, yes, the benefits far outweigh the negatives because I have a beautiful family from it.
I met my husband who I am still in love with to the stay even more so and two beautiful kiddos that I are my life now, so 100%.
It's interesting that you say people gave you a hard time for being like the female lead and taking feminism back.
Yeah.
That's interesting because I think you are in a position of power and like they give you all these options and the guys have to work for you and then you're the one making the decisions.
And I think that is actually a very powerful female role.
I agree, but I think it was in a way that they felt like I was going to look like a slut, you know, that I was, I had 25 guys that I was choosing from.
And if the guy is doing the choosing, and they're like Bob, like he was like the kissing bandit or something like that.
You know, like if they're Bob, then everyone can laugh about them being a kissing bandit.
But back when I was doing it, like 2002, I believe our show aired.
and for a girl, like, now, I swear God, they kiss every single person on the show.
You know, it's not an abnormal thing.
But when I was on, I literally kissed, I think, four guys.
Wow.
Yeah, I mean, I remember, this is really funny, Amy.
I don't know if you remember this, but Jamie Blythe was one of the guys,
and we were on this barbecue date, and he is like Kendall, like perfect Ken doll played professional.
basketball or wanted i anyway perfect guy you know whatever and i just wasn't into him at the time
and he was like do you think i could give you a kiss and i was like maybe on the cheek like literally
how crazy is that i just remember russ woods being so so sweaty by that fire on like his
final night like it was he was down to the top of three i think yeah and he was just profusely
sweating yeah because that was definitely an awkward we were
not getting along at the time so he was like oh crap we had bob on not too long ago and i do remember
one of the guys eating out of the dog bowl oh they were okay so my guys were just like it was like a
fraternity house they had the best time to this day i swear we did an interview like a month ago
and ryan was talking about how they wanted to hang out more with each other at the house
then go on the dates with me at the time in the beginning they were like we were having way too much
fun together. I mean, I love Bob. I adore him and all of the guys on my show. They were great.
I was really lucky. Who do you keep in touch with? From my season? Maybe just Bob. I mean,
I saw, we saw Russ maybe like, I don't know, eight years ago or something like that. We've heard
about Charlie through friends of friends. Everyone asked me if Alex Michelle, the very first
bachelor is someone I have ever run into and the answer is no um I have no idea it dropped off the
face I said I do see Russ woods quite a bit I'm trying to think who else from your season Bob yeah
about Jamie Blythe I've talked to um but that's mainly it I mean and Ryan doesn't necessarily
stay in touch with with any of the other guys either but girls from my season Shannon
And Oliver, she was on The Bachelor and Amy and Zelle.
You know, I'm sure you both, Ashley and Ben, you know, you make lifelong friends from it.
And the connections are really what matter afterwards.
You know, I mean, obviously for me, my relationship is priority.
But I love that we can establish these connections, even though there is this huge age gap now,
at least for me and all of you, all of the rest of you.
But, um, well, just as saying that, I want to say that I think you're like the Bachelor
Evergreen. Like, I think it's amazing that you just said that you and Ryan still do interviews
on the regular, you know what I mean? So you've never gotten, you've never been not relevant
in this franchise. And maybe it's because you're the first girl and you're the first marriage
out of it. You're the first kids out of it. But I need to ask you,
Why do you think the track record for Bachelorettes that you started is better than the track record for Bachelors?
Because there's only one married bachelor to his winner, which is Sean and Catherine.
So why do you think that the girls have more success?
Well, number one, I want to say thank you for saying that.
I think that's very sweet because I don't necessarily always agree.
I think I'm irrelevant a lot of the time.
No.
I mean, I'm basically living my life here in Colorado and, you know, focusing on the kids.
And when we get the opportunity to do, you know, spokesperson rules or partnerships or whatever, we love doing that kind of stuff.
We had an HD TV show or pilot.
You know, those kind of things are super fun for us, but they definitely don't come around on the regular necessarily.
But so anyway, thank you for saying that.
And I think that in terms of the Bacheloretts compared to the Bachelors, I think honestly it's,
Just the girls, for some reason, are, and I don't know that it's necessarily a girl versus guy thing.
It's an individual thing.
I think that just the girls who have come on the shows are just ready for that commitment.
They end up finding that person that they're meant to be with, whether you call it fate or luck or whatever your belief system is.
I think that just the girls ended up being ready for their relationship.
And for whatever reason, they ended up ending up together, you know,
and making it a reality after reality TV.
It is interesting there has not been one Bachelor divorce.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, God forbid.
Hopefully it would never have a good point.
But I mean, if you look at statistics of just regular people,
You're right. I mean, how many, do you guys know how many marriages there? I mean, at least there's five or six, right?
I think they're going to count. Sean does. Jason and Molly and Eve. Jason, Molly, if you count them.
Yeah, you count them. Um, who else, who am I missing? Um, um, um, um, Ashley and what's his time? He got Ashley and JP. Well, and Carly and Evan, Jade and Tanner.
Right. True. That's true.
And no divorces.
No divorces.
Knock on wood.
Let's hope that never happens.
It's wild.
I mean, it is kind of crazy that I just think even as you were talking there, Trista, there has been a lot that's changed.
What are the biggest changes?
And outside of the weddings and outside of the man versus woman, you know, what works better, what has changed from the time that you were the Bachelorette to today?
Number one, you guys gone way better trips.
Like, come on, seriously.
I went to Santa Fe and Deadwoods out.
Dakota. Okay. Well, yeah, it might be on my level. But I went to Seattle and I love Seattle. That's where I fell in love with my husband. But Seattle and Cabo was like the farthest we went. I did go to Maui on the very first bachelor. But come on. I mean, it's like they're traveling the world. Can you tell I'm a little jealous?
Wait, I want to go back to you falling in love with Ryan in Seattle. What was the moment?
You know, well, so backing up, Vail was, we came to Vail for his hometown date.
And then when I knew I could fall in love with him, he handed me this little note in one of the cars, like none of the cameras were rolling.
And it told me he was falling in love with me, and I was just like, I don't know if you know the book, the Five Love Languages, but I am a words of affirmation girl.
like any kind of words written or spoken is my thing.
So anyway, he hands me this note, tells me he's falling in love with me.
And I was falling for him at the time.
And then we went to Seattle, and besides just the, like, romantic aspect of who he is,
there was a lot of passion, let's just say.
I mean, we were making out on the couch in our hotel room at the W.
And I remember Jason Carbone.
Do you remember Jason Carbone?
Amy Sugarman.
Of course.
He was one of the producers on the show, and he was sitting in the hotel room with, you know, the cameraman and everything.
And I looked at him after probably like an hour, two hours, or three hours.
It was obnoxious.
And I was like, really, you guys are not getting any more than this.
So can you please leave?
Like, just get out of fear.
We really kind of wanted to have this night to ourselves.
So I think it all came together there.
He, I think a lot of people remember us being on our date and the, what's I called, a space needle.
And his humor came out in that, like, they, he had never watched the show before.
And the date card comes out.
And I say, okay, do you want to go to our, forego our individual suites?
and go to the fantasy suite, and he goes, check, please.
And so many people to this day never forget that.
And I think his, you know, it just all came together for me in Seattle.
So anyway, I can't even remember what the conversation was before that.
But, yeah, I just...
I mean, I think it's awesome.
You mentioned a great book, too, The Five Love Languages.
What a great book.
And then, I mean, just looking back on your story, Trista, it is an incredible one,
One that we've, you know, we still see clips from.
I've loved to get to meet you and Ryan in person.
And before we move on to our final topic here,
because I want to make sure that we touch on your latest project.
I want to give you a little shout out.
The first time I met Trista, I was in Denver, downtown Denver,
with my aunt and my uncle and my cousins,
and we had gone out to brunch.
And I'd never met Trista before.
I'd just gotten off the Bachelorette.
Actually, I think the Bachelorette was still Aaron.
Yeah, I think so.
You had no clue how it ended, and you called me out, and you said, hey, I know you, and I said, well, hey, I know you too.
And you came up, and you talked to my family and I for, you know, a long, long time.
And it was such a cool moment for me to get to know somebody who I had watched on TV, a relationship that I admired, and I was hoping to have.
And just for you guys to take the time out just to hang out with us.
So that meant a lot to me, and it started out my journey then into the Bachelor,
keeping on the back of my head the whole time was, hey, these people did it.
They're great people.
They're somebody I should look up to.
So thanks, Trista.
Thank you, Ryan, for taking that time out that day.
You are so sweet.
I mean, I was super excited.
I'm still a huge fan.
I just did an interview this morning, and I literally called myself a consummate fan.
How many times have I said literally?
I mean, that's awful.
See, you did another interview.
That's how relevant you are.
Okay, well, well, okay.
So anyway.
So I did an interview, and they were,
They were like, do you still watch the show?
And I told them that I have never missed an episode, whether it is Bachelor, Bachelorette, Bachelor in Paradise, Bachelor Pad, Bachelor Winter Games I will be watching.
I mean, honestly, I know you guys feel the same way because I know you have friendships and connections through the show, but it's like a family.
Like, it's, I, I feel connected to people, even when I meet them, you know, at brunch and have never met them before, I feel connected to everyone.
And I love that I can, I can have those connections because that really is what life is about.
You know, it's about connections and relationships, at least it is to me.
And to be able to have a shared experience, you know, and a mutual admiration for,
people who have been through the same thing.
We know what it's like to go through the show.
We know what it's like to experience what we did.
It's really unique and really cool to me.
So anyway, that was a day I'll never forget, and I have a awful memory,
but I totally remember you where you were standing there taking a picture of your family,
and I totally called you out because I was a fan because I was watching you on TV.
Well, my family was a big fan, too.
My aunt Cindy was standing there going, I know that girl,
and she was freaking out like, hey,
You've got to calm yourself down.
Like, I'm doing the same show she did.
Before we head out here, I got to ask you about your latest project.
And so before you answer that question, can you make me one commitment?
Maybe.
Will you come back on then somewhere mid-season for R.E. season, and will you help us dissect everything going on in the episodes?
Oh, I love to.
Yes.
Okay, perfect.
I'm looking to come back for some analysis.
And so now, please tell everybody listening out there about this awesome new book you wrote.
It's called The Happily Ever After, the life-changing power of a grateful heart.
It's perfect for the Thanksgiving season.
Trist, I'll let you kind of take it from here.
Well, I love that you're bringing it up because it actually, I wrote it three years ago.
And I wrote it.
I wanted to write a children's book.
It was one of my kind of dreams.
And I told an agent that I was.
I was working with at the time that it was something that I wanted to work on, and she connected
me to a literary agent.
And the literary agent told me, you really should start with an adult book.
People don't have much success with children's books.
So I thought, okay, what the hell could I write about?
And at the time, gratitude was really important to me.
It still is, I think it's an incredible way for people who are put into the public eye,
like actually the four of us, you know, a way to stay grounded.
And I think that's really important.
I'm, you know, from the Midwest, those are part of my Midwestern values,
is really staying grounded and connected to who I am true to myself
and not just who people know me as on television.
So I told my agent that I, what about gratitude?
And she said, I love that.
So we went with it, and I include stories of, from myself, from my husband, from my family and friends.
I mean, I talk about how my mom was date raped and how I have a half-sister because of it.
I share stories of watching people cross the finish line at the Iron Man and seeing actual will in front of my eyes, you know, mind over matter kind of stuff.
And then just share, you know, there's some fun stuff in there too, but it was such an amazing project to be able to do because I feel like it's a legacy for my kids.
You know, when I do pass on and, you know, this summer I actually experienced a seizure and kind of had that knowledge and reminder that we are all mortal and around.
And our day will come.
So whenever my day does come, when I'm gone, you know, I love that I am able to leave this legacy of gratitude behind for my kids.
So thank you for bringing it up, considering it definitely is not a new project, but it's definitely a passion project for me and always will be.
I mean, that's incredible.
Yes, I mean, for the Thanksgiving season, that sounds like no matter if it was written three years ago, if it was written a week ago, it's relevant.
And Trista, thank you.
Thank you for sharing that.
And so if you're interested, anybody listening out there, again, it's called
The Happily Ever After.
Wow, what a title, Trista, Happily Ever After.
But you really do have a happily ever after.
Well, I've been a part of a Happily Ever After myself.
The life-changing power of a grateful heart.
Trista Sutter, you are the original Bachelor.
We appreciate you coming on the podcast.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Guys, we're having to have you back.
Love you, Trista. Talk to you soon.
Okay, bye, guys.
Happy Thanksgiving.
How are you Thanksgiving?
Speaking of Thanksgiving, the holidays are here.
Families in town.
Time to make some food.
My parents, like I said, will be rearranging my furniture, cleaning my house,
adding pictures, new lights, who knows what's going to happen by the time I get home today.
So, with them being busy, I might need to cook.
Blue Apron is the leading meal kit delivery service in the U.S.
And while you may know what they do, you may not know.
About the types of meals you eat when you cook with Blue Apron.
It's not just burgers, short ribs burgers, with hoppy cheddar sauce on a pretzel bun.
We're talking seared steaks and time pan sauce with mashed potatoes, green beans, and crispy shallots.
Yeah.
This is all in under 45 minutes and without a trip to the grocery store, Blue Apron's mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone.
Hey, Ashley, I got to tell you, Blue Apron delivered a box to my house.
week and as I'm up in the office my parents are working around the house like I said
they need a lunch and I'm not kidding you they pulled out the blue apron kit and my mom had a
great time she loves to cook and I was surprised how much she didn't love to cook the blue apron
because she got to feel like she was cooking without going to grocery store so it's a great
thing my mom loves it too she thinks it's genius it really is so I want to you all the listeners
to check out these recipes for November roasted chicken and fall vegetables with
cranberry and ginger compote, butternut squash pasta with kale and brown butter walnuts.
Is it me or is there something sexy if Ben was cooking dinner for us, Ashley?
Oh, I think we've already had this imagery before.
Oh, that was a game.
Because I'm really getting it right now with Ben.
Are you getting it?
I feel like I feel like I'm not throwing the vibes today, so I'm surprised you're getting it.
Oh, come on.
It's weird how much I'm sort of picturing you with like the fire going and like cooking
and like kind of wiping your hands off on a towel with like a drink in your hand.
I don't know.
I'm really going there.
I see that now.
I see that.
There is something about a man making a steak that is sexy.
I do have my white apron that I really do enjoy.
No, no, no, no.
You've now ruined it.
No, apron.
And Blue Apron is treating you to your first dinner, a $30 value if you visit blueapron.
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So check out this week's menu and get your $30 off with free shipping at blue apron.com,
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Blue Apron, a better way to cook.
All right, Ben, should we move on to some listener emails?
It's my favorite part.
All right, well, let's do it.
This is from Renee.
It says, hey, Ben, Ashley, and Amy.
I am a 47-year-old mother of 11 children.
Oh, yes, I love her.
I love this email.
The ages range from 26 to 8 years old.
several of my older daughters and I have watched the show together for years.
I faithfully listened to your podcast while I'm cleaning the house.
Today, I was listening to the discussion about age difference between men and women.
I just wanted to share the experience of my husband's parents.
They were 32 years apart in age.
Papa was in his 50s when he married Jean, who was in her 20s.
Papa had been married before and didn't have.
have children. After they had been married for several years, Papa, the grandfather, became a father
at the age of 64 for the first time. My husband came along two years after that when Papa was
66. Because of that union, my husband and I have been married for 28 years. I know it was a
different era when Papa and Jean were married, but they made it work until he died at the age of 94.
in 1998.
I thought it would share,
I thought I would share
a great success story
for you on this topic.
Thanks for keeping me entertained
and have a happy Thanksgiving.
That is an amazing story.
She sent the cutest picture
of all the kids,
of all 11 kids.
I'm having a hard time processing this.
Yeah, conceptualizing it.
I get it.
Yeah, this is amazing.
I mean, what an incredible story.
I mean, yeah, Renee,
we're stoked to hear this.
This is exactly the kind of emails
we're hoping for, right?
I mean, ones that just kind of rock our world a little bit.
Yeah.
I was thrown off at the first line because it says she is 11 kids.
And I'm like, how do the 11 kids play into this?
Well, it's because her husband's parents were 30 years-ish apart.
And if it weren't for those parents getting together, then these 11 children wouldn't exist.
I like to bring everything back to celebrities.
And did you know, Catherine Ceda-Jones is 25 years younger than Michael Douglas?
Right.
And even though they had a hiccup, they made it work.
Oh, I love that they made it work because I love them together.
They're just sexy together.
Yeah.
So sometimes that age difference does work.
Yeah, very, very interesting, Renee.
All right.
So, Ben, you're so good with dating and breakup advice.
You gave the best advice last week.
And I think people are wanting more from you.
So this is from Katie.
Ashley and Ben.
Ben seems to be like a person who really values the importance of communication in a relationship.
I hope he can share his advice with me because I'm willing.
lacking a male's perspective on the situation.
My three and a half year-long relationship ended roughly three months ago.
I met my ex in my hometown, and after we graduated from college, we moved to Nashville together.
We were 23, but I was head over heels in love, and I had known that I had found my soulmate.
After two years of dating, he abruptly broke up with me after a bad argument, y'all, to say that I was devastated was an understatement.
I panicked and took a job offer out of state and moved six weeks later.
On top of the breakup, I discovered that my ex was suffering from an opiate addiction.
I can't even put into words how difficult it was to leave behind the person that I was still so in love with,
knowing that he needed real help.
To my surprise, my ex called me three weeks later after I moved pleading to give him another chance.
He checked himself into an outpatient rehab program, and I decided to move back,
get back together with him and support him.
While visiting him on the 4th of July this year, we ended our visit with a massive fight,
one which extremely hurt my feelings because of things that were said between both of us.
Six weeks later, we finally talked and decided to cut ties over the phone.
It wasn't what I wanted at all.
Two months later, I've moved back to Nashville anyway.
I have a great group of friends here, and I am so happy to you back in a familiar surrounding.
I've been back for a few weeks and it's been amazing.
This leads me to the question that I have for Ben.
Is it important to reach out to him and ask for closure?
Or if he cared about me, would he have already reached out?
Despite everything we've been through and the love that we shared,
why do you think he could completely shut me out in the manner that he did?
Do you think it's healthy to move on by blocking someone out?
Life has been so crazy recently and I'm hoping to receive some advice.
from a man who seems like he really has his life together.
The end.
I wish I had my life.
That's sweet of you to assume.
All right.
So just to summarize here,
Katie and her boyfriend had a very,
very serious relationship.
After some rough spots,
not only personally between themselves,
as individuals,
they broke up,
ended up getting back together,
and then broke up again,
and now she's looking for some help.
So, as I'm reading this,
I'm thinking a few things.
First off, I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend.
Opiate addiction is nothing to take lightly.
And really, you know, coming from where I come in Indiana,
it is something that's prevalent.
It's tough and it's tough to watch and it's tough to see.
And the one thing I do know about opioid addiction is that it does change your character.
It does change your personality at times.
And so some of this to me, kind of the fluctuation in the story kind of seems like something else is going on behind the scenes.
And I don't know if that's true or not.
But that doesn't change the end result.
The end result is that now you aren't together and you're looking for an answer.
So my first initial thought is I don't know if talking to him will ever bring closure.
You know, if it goes really well, then you'll probably miss him.
If it goes terribly, then you're going to be resentful and angry at him.
So that's my first thought.
My second thought is this.
Closure comes from within.
Closure comes from yourself.
And so I know in my past relationships, ones that haven't worked out, and ones that have been really successful for a long time, my feelings towards the other person and my feelings towards a relationship are affected by how I feel internally.
And so as you're looking at this relationship now, kind of on the back end of it and thinking about the good times and the bad times and thinking about the times that were spent together and the times that you leaned on him and he leaned on you for support and advice and you start to miss him.
And you just want to get him out of your head, it probably sounds like here.
You just want to forget about it.
You have to come to terms of that yourself.
And so one way to do that is to forgive.
Make sure you forgive first.
I think forgiveness is the most important step here.
You have to forgive him for anything that he said that was wrong.
Anything he did that hurt you, anything that maybe stung deep with inside you personally,
you have to forgive him.
You have to release him from that, and you have to release himself from that burden.
And after you forgive him, you have to hope for the best.
And I know that sounds cliche and corny and super light, but you really do.
You have to hope that he has the best life possible because one thing you can't do is control him.
That's just not it.
And so meeting with him, I don't think it's a smart decision.
But if you can forgive and you can allow yourself to get in a good place mentally on your thoughts towards him, I think the enclosure will come because you'll be in a better place to move on either with somebody or maybe with nobody, but you'll at least be able to move on as an individual.
And Katie, I'm telling you that is the most important thing right now
is you have to find a way to move on as an individual
so that you can live your best life possible.
All right.
I think you said it all.
I can't elaborate on that.
Wow.
Yes.
Ben, get into ministry.
I think that you need to be like the next huge minister.
No.
I like that, though.
He should be the new Dr. Phil.
Well, you could definitely do that, too.
That's a great idea.
Amy, get on it.
I've already trademarked it.
Dr. Ben.
You know, I really do enjoy talking about relationships and talking about life.
You know, Trista brought up a book called The Five Love Languages, a book that's meant a lot to me as I've tried to explore, okay, where are my weaknesses, where are my strengths.
We live in this life that is so rich and so deep, and I find myself so often saying there has to be more, right?
There has to be more.
There has to be more emotion.
There has to be more feelings.
pain has to feel less at times and the joys have to feel like I have to feel more joy and it's just so fun to talk about because we're all in this crazy journey together and so if we can get these emails in from our listeners and we can discuss it you're making my life a lot of fun so I appreciate it thanks Katie for being super super honest with us wait Ben what's your love language
It is physical touch, actually.
My back rub, honestly, and I'm not, this is not, my grandma told me that as a little baby when I would cry or I'd be upset, if you just come in and rub my back real lightly, I would stop crying and I would become peaceful.
My mom said the same thing, and it works today.
If I'm stressed out and anybody that's close to me and that loves me, if I'm really stressed out, if I'm really hurting, a hand on my back and just, it just calls.
calms me. And so the physical touch is one way for somebody to show that they care,
that they love me, and that they're willing to do something that's not exactly benefiting
themselves to make my life better. And that's, that just feels really good.
A little Ben. Yeah. Now I know why Ben always gives us a massage the second he sees us. It's like his
hug, his welcome hug. Ben always just like rub his arm out and I always just like rub his arm.
That's really nice. Thanks, Amy. Yeah.
I just uses an excuse to touch you.
Ashley, what's your love language?
Mine is definitely touch with quality time.
It's like all I need of you is to like sit on the couch with me and snuggle for a long.
All I need is you is all of your time.
Exactly.
But yeah, I'm a big touch person too.
Oh, that's awesome.
Well, all right, so we have a few more emails here that I want to read through.
I'm going to read this one because it's to Ashley.
And it would be weird if Ashley read to herself and then answered for herself.
So this is from Patricia.
Hi, Ashley.
I'm a big fan of both you and Ben
and I think I saw a tweet from you talking about
Taylor Swift's album and how you like
the album but needed someone to be in love
to relate. Forgive me
if those are not the exact word she says. And then
I thought, wasn't Wells your getaway
car and probably one of the reasons
the relationship didn't go too far?
Also, I can totally see
in game as a song for you and Jared
even if not
applicable now. And really,
you don't feel like singing gorgeous
to Dean, even if he is.
just a friend, come on. Taylor probably follows you on social media and
created the song, Don't blame me. Just for you, Ashley.
The song has your name all over it. L.O.L. You can tell I love Taylor Swift. I
relate to every song, even though I don't really relate to any song. She's happily
married to two kids. And then she says, Ben, I know this about Ashley, but you are truly
the best bad. Okay, we're good. Hey, Ashley. What do you think? She's
Trying your coffee.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, thanks for trying the coffee.
I didn't read that part.
Trying the coffee is onto my to-do list.
Hey, everybody out there, generous coffee.
Love for you to try it.
Wait, I love it.
I love when people can compare their lives to songs.
I mean, that's what I do with Taylor.
It's honestly, like, every two to three years, I have a new diary entry that, like, I gave
her the material for, but then she put together in pretty words and pretty sounds, and she
wrapped it up in a gift, and she goes, here, Ashley, here.
Here's your life in music.
And I'm so, so thankful for Taylor Swift for having this talent in which that she writes
for all of us girls.
What's interesting about the reputation album is I do think it's a little bit more specific
to her stories and the language isn't as broad.
How dare she not write it directly to you, actually?
I know.
I know. But so, yes, I did tweet when the album came out that, like, there's a lot of love songs.
We're used to, like, moodyer songs about Taylor being nostalgic of a past heartbreak.
and this there's a lot of love songs and there's a lot of steamy songs and I'm like ooh okay got to find someone now so I can relate to this music more but so interesting the way that you are listening to a Taylor's album and you're thinking about me for it that means the world to me that is like the sweetest thing thank you thank you for thinking of me Patricia don't blame me could have been my bachelor theme song never thought about getaway car with Wells but
I suppose, in a sense, yes.
Endgame,
I never think about Jared
during that song either, but now I will
during a period of time
in our past. And gorgeous,
I mean, you're right. Gorgeous is a song
about Dean. Like, the eyes so blue,
right? Holy moly.
All right, but thank you, Patricia.
Ben, what's your theme song right now?
Ponceau and Lefty
by Merrill Haggard.
What?
It's a good song.
It's a great song.
I was not expecting that at all.
I also need to give a little plug to myself.
The entire I Don't Get a podcast this week is about breaking down the lyrics in Taylor's new album.
We have expert from Access Hollywood, Oscar Gracie, telling us so much of the behind-the-scenes stories that take part in the album that you would have had no idea about.
But these lyrics are decoded in the new I Don't Get a podcast.
Before we move on to more.
listener emails about fun stuff like relationships and Taylor Swift. We had an email this week
from a listener named Jackie, who is raving of bio-clarity. I have to read this to you guys
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High school was horrible. I would start getting ready for events hours early to make sure
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and now I'm confident again. I went four days without wearing foundation for the first time
in six years. Yes, the liberation I feel for you. I would never have known about
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Let's hear them.
All right.
Well, we got another email from Merrill.
Hey, Ben and Ashley.
I've been with my boyfriend for two years and nine months now.
A year and a half of that has been long distance after he moved away from New York to accept a job in D.C.
He recently quit his job, which I thought would enable him to move in with me while he continues to look for a new job in New York.
But that happened two months ago, and he's still living with his parents in D.C. in visiting me occasionally.
He says it would not go over well with his family if he moved in with me without having a job.
He seems to always care about his parents' opinions a lot, and I often think that they're more important than mine.
Well, well, Merrill, they probably should be.
another issue that we've had comes with the long-distance sex he has trouble performing when he's tired or stressed or busy all of those have little quotation marks around them which is basically all the time in the course of staying with me for a week we'll do it maybe one or two times i can't live like this i love him but we should so much frustration i know i love him but what's the last straw in this relationship be
We fight a lot, and I don't think it's healthy.
I know he's in a tough situation right now, and I want to be supportive.
But what is the time to put your foot down for what you deserve?
But what is the time to foot your...
But what is the time that you put your foot down for what you believe you deserve.
Okay.
Well, Merrill, I do wish that I knew your age,
because there are, like, a certain age range in our lives that parents' opinions need to be more important than a significant others.
Relating, you know, opinions?
Okay. Still think that if Merrill 23,
the parents probably need to,
their opinions are a little bit more important,
especially if he's being financially supported
by the parents right now. Right?
I would have completely agree.
I mean, I think your parents' opinion
is incredibly important. I think there is a level
to when you make that vow.
Oh, yeah. No, if we're talking like you guys are engaged,
totally different story.
I think you're completely right. I think when you're just considered a boyfriend, girlfriend,
then your parents have a huge role in your life still. You know, they really are. And once you
decide to, as the good old Bible says, get up and leave your family through marriage and through
that engagement, then is the time to take the parents to take a step back. But as I'm reading
this, I'm thinking, man, his parents are his best confidants right now. You know, his parents are the people
love him and probably care about him
the most, even
including you, Merrill. And so
it's important that he listens to him.
Yeah, and Merrill, if he quit his
job and he doesn't have a job right now
and you want him to go, you want him to go live
in New York, I don't know.
I mean, I don't
think you'd like that either. I think
that he needs to get his own
life together before
joining you.
Does that make sense? Does that, you agree
with that? Yeah, I mean, I think
Before we make too many assumptions on this relationship, I think there's some things here that really stand out.
One is there's obviously unhappiness, there's unsettled anger just from reading this email, right?
There's some disappointment.
So my first question to Merrill without saying, hey, this is what I think you should feel is, have you asked him, have you talked to him about this?
Have you brought this stuff up to him?
Have you asked them about, you know, if sex is important to you and you've both decided to participate in it as a couple, and you feel like you're not getting your end of the day?
deal or what you would expect if you feel like there's distance there and your physical
relationship, have you sat him down and talk to him about it? Because if you haven't,
that would be the first step. And if you feel uncomfortable doing that, I would ask you why.
Why have you had a boyfriend for two years and nine months and you don't feel comfortable
talking to him about some of the basic elements in life and in relationships?
Yeah. And Ben, correct me if I'm wrong, because obviously no expert in this department,
but if a guy is jobless and kind of feeling down and out, he's not going to be like super hornedog,
right? He's not going to be horny.
Yeah, I mean, I don't, I just, you're, you're spot on.
I mean, I think when any guy is, you know, what men need in life is, is to kind of, we're
so fragile. We really are. Most men are so fragile and they can get beaten down so quickly.
And so, you know, if he doesn't have a job and if he feels kind of lost and he, he's kind
of tossing and turn and he doesn't feel like Merrill is happy with him, he could feel pretty
down on himself. And as a result of that, his libido and his, his, his, his, he's, he's, he's, he's,
his confidence could be way, way down.
And so, Merrill, with that, you are committed to this man as a boyfriend, right?
I mean, elicit this point, you're committed to this man.
And so you have agreed to be with him, even in those moments that he is down.
And so my job, or my advice you, Merrill, would be to, in this season of his life, lift him up.
Because I hope that he would do the same to you when you'd feel down and out,
is lift you up.
And that's how relationships work.
It's a dance.
It's like you two are salcing together, right?
You're taking one step back and one step forward, and you're pulling each other along.
That's a relationship.
You're dancing together.
And so, hey, Merrill, dance with him a little bit.
I agree.
And Merrill, you can come visit him down here.
It's just a three-hour train ride.
Yeah, I mean, never we can take a train.
So, hey, Merrill, here's my advice.
Thank you so much for writing in.
But I think you have some things to talk about with your boyfriend.
None of this email looks like he doesn't care about you or he doesn't love you.
And it doesn't look like you don't love him or care about him.
It looks like you guys got to kind of take the step back and go back to the basics and say,
hey, we've been together two and a half or two years and nine months.
What are we missing?
What are we doing well?
How can we continue to move forward?
Because I love you and I care about you and I don't want to lose you.
Think about that conversation.
How cool would that be is at the end of that conversation.
You guys have a big old smooch and see where it takes you.
Dr. Ben, great advice once again.
If you actually start a new segment called Dr. Ben,
where you just ask Ben for relationship advice.
But it's good.
I like it.
It's so good.
And you're so articulate and you just like understanding.
human being so well. I like it.
I understand every human being except myself.
Well, those who cannot do, those who cannot do.
But no, I mean, I think this is fun. We have a good time talking about this.
But let's lighten it up a little bit and talk about some celebrities for me to date.
All right. Well, Ben, a lot of people emailed in with celebrity suggestions for possible romance for you.
are you ready to hear who they want you to be with i'm kind of excited about this yeah i'm very interested
all right well we start off with two from the bachelor franchise daniel m and christina
two girls in the nashville area two girls that uh are seem very sweet very humble
and just like and i think that you've expressed a little interest in christina before so have i've expressed
enter? No. What have I ever? No.
Hello, Ben Tina.
Ben Tina. That's right. That was that thing.
You shipped that a while back. No, she's
been, you know, her and Dean, Dean's a great
buddy of mine. They've been kind of off
and on or on. I don't really know what's happening
with him for a while. That just seems like a
place that wouldn't be
respectful for me to kind of
enter into. Yeah, okay. I agree there.
Ben should not date a celebrity,
but if he does, it should be Nina
Dobrev. I do think she has a
boyfriend, but how do you think about that?
I don't know who that is
So we should
Vampire Diaries
People are going to freak out
That you don't know who that is
Emma Watson may be single
Ben may have a chance
What do you think of Emma Watson?
I don't stand a chance
Let's keep going
I can see you with her
How do you feel about a foreign girl
With a little bit of an accent?
I mean she was my celebrity crush
I think last week on the podcast
So I've always had a thing for Emma Watson
But she is just like
When I would be so intimidated
Around Emma Watson
It would not be a good
I think she's real smart.
Yeah, she's an intellectual.
She went to Brown.
Yeah, probably why I would be intimidated.
You guys, Lily James.
She played Cinderella in this, like, the live action Cinderella that came out a few years ago.
She is stunning.
And if she's anything like her role, she's perfect for Ben.
That's my favorite so far.
I'm in.
Let's keep going.
January Jones, we already talked about that.
Brittany Snow.
She's cute.
I like her.
Could set that up pretty quick for you.
me you can definitely do that one.
Amelia Clark, you know,
Calisi, sorry.
Oh, geez.
Yeah, I mean, how, you know how jealous my buddies would be of me
if I start dating Amelia Clark?
I mean, I think every person I know has a crush on her.
She seems like a wonderful girl.
I love her personality in interviews.
She is, oh, I like that too.
Second favorite.
That's a little high.
Like, that's maybe a little hard to get.
Okay.
I'm not feeling strong for your chances.
Shea Mitchell, she has, I think, a long-term relationship.
I don't know who Alexandra Didario?
I do.
She was in Baywatch and she was in that earthquake movie with the Rock, San Andreas.
And she's kind of smoking hot.
Like, I think she had a flingy fling with an Ephron.
Oh, okay.
She's not in the guys like me then.
She's not in the guys like me.
I'm over Zach.
Do we talk about how I'm over Zach?
Maybe next week.
How about next week?
Okay.
Lindsay Cox, who was also.
past Bachelorette.
It was
yeah, Courtney.
We were talking about that last week.
It was Blanflanics, yeah.
Lindsay Sterling, I don't know who that is.
She's on Dancing with the Stars, the violinist.
All right, finally, Ben, there are so many people
that want you to date their sister
or their best friend.
I get tweets all the time.
Ashley, can you set me up with Ben?
Amy's reading emails.
Everybody wants you to be with their sister.
And that's, of course.
But of course, you know, because Ben is that wholesome guy that you want to take home to mom and dad.
I won't say who.
I won't say who, but I did forward one of them to Ben.
So all you did.
Oh, did it come with a picture?
It did come with a photo.
And everybody listening, just know that one of your people has a chance because I did forward one.
Oh, my goodness.
This is true.
And I thought she was, she looked pretty right on.
And I knew.
Oh, I don't want to give any more.
Ben, did you like her?
I don't know. Did I see it?
You have to dig through your emails. I sent it like a few days ago.
Oh, okay. I don't know if I've seen it yet. That's super nice of people. I mean, it is. That's a huge compliment.
I was going to say, like, nobody.
You got Aaron Rogers, which I think could be great, but yet.
Oh, I was going to say nobody wants me to date their brother.
Not yet. But, I mean, they'll come flooding in now. And Tim Tebow. A lot of football players, I think, because of Jimmy, the 49er.
Yeah. I mean, Tim.
I don't need, like, I need somebody with a little bit more experience, if the accounts from Andorif.
Is he, like yourself?
Um, possibly.
We don't know.
It's unclear.
No.
I think that Tebow seems like really sweet dude.
I think he's like, oh, I just need like more of an alpha.
Okay.
More of an alpha.
And then Aaron.
I would just imagine that on your wedding night, like earthquakes would occur.
Like, the heavens would open up.
Fireworks would go off.
Then the imagery is too.
gross for me to imagine. Please, don't make me feel so awkward. Aaron Rogers, that's all I can think
about is if you and Tebow did happen to get married, that literally, it would, the heavens would open.
I don't do it too soon. I want this world to last a while. I'm having to get time. Oh, my God.
Speaking of Tim Tebow, if you're out there and a fan of the almost famous podcast, we're really trying
to get you with Tanya Rad from Ryan's Seacrest Show. You guys would be the perfect pair.
Hey, Ashley, you have big Thanksgiving plans?
Actually, not really.
It's just going to be my family of four.
Plus, you know, my best friend, Naz, a friend of yours, and a friend of all of ours.
She came to Virginia, and it's just going to be the five of us.
And then my aunt and my cousin are going to come down the next day for, like, Thanksgiving part, too.
That's awesome.
No, I hope it is a great day for you.
And I also hope it's full of a lot of memories and a lot of wine.
Who's cooking yours?
Wait, Ben, who's cooking yours?
Who's cooking our thing?
We're having a big group Thanksgiving.
So actually, Friday we're celebrating Thanksgiving, and we're going to go up to my buddy's house.
The Fullers, who people out there follow quite often.
So we're all going to get together at the Fuller's house.
And the whole Fuller family and my family and a bunch of friends are going to get together,
and we're going to celebrate Thanksgiving and all kind of have a potluck.
So it's going to be really fun.
That's really nice.
Hey, Ben, guess what my parents decided to do?
What's the hat?
They're catering it.
Like, my parents do everything they possibly can to get out of cooking.
So when we insisted that we don't go out to dinner because my dad wanted to go out to dinner for Thanksgiving,
they try to pull this every year, and my sister and I won't have it.
We're like, no, no.
So my dad just told us this morning, he's like, here's the receipt for the catering that we got for Thanksgiving.
So all he's going to do is make the stuffing and everything else is delivered.
Hey, you know, that's not a terrible idea, Ashley.
I mean, I get where your dad's coming from, because you want to focus on the memory.
You want to focus on the people there.
You want to focus on the relationships and not have to focus on the stress of cooking a good dinner.
So I like your dad's style.
I think there's more to that than we might just see.
I know.
And the one thing you can also do, if you want to cater in food, you might as well cater in some alcohol.
So, Ashley, what is the most common alcohol for Thanksgiving?
Two-thirds of Americans say they're most likely to drink.
What do you think of it in?
Wine.
Yep.
Two-thirds.
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wine. So, you know, if you're just in need of wine, just saucy it.
That's right. I mean, it's the best thing. And so, okay, Thanksgiving is a few days away.
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Hey, Ashley, can I take a second?
Amy, I'm going to take a second here.
I need to talk about something that I am involved in this week of Thanksgiving, and it means a lot to me.
So here's a deal.
I've talked about generous coffee quite often in the podcast.
A lot of you have ordered the coffee, and I appreciate that.
And I was just in Honduras, seeing kind of the results of what's been going on.
And it really is incredible.
And I hope all of you can come with me on a trip sometime.
If you're interested, make sure you email Humanian Hope United to find out when we're going and when I'm going.
But we came up with a different idea for the holiday season, one that we hope will make a huge impact.
We've partnered, a generous coffee company has partnered with a brand called GoX Apparel.
GoX Apparel makes all the T-shirts out of recycled water bottles.
or recycled bottles, I should say.
So a lot less waste, it's good for the environment.
And their profits, just like generous coffee's profits,
their profits are going to children all around the world.
So here's the deal. Give the gift of opportunity to children.
Buy to give, that's our mission, that's our statement.
We have one week and we're trying to sell 5,000 shirts,
and it will support 2,000, if we sell 5,000 shirts,
it will support 2,000 children in school.
In countries like Honduras, Haiti, India, Lawi,
and Ethiopia. So I'm telling you, please go out there. The link is in my bio on Instagram. We really are giving all profits away. This is just an avenue to raise a bunch of money for kids who maybe haven't had the opportunities that the rest of us have and have been born into situations that are a little more desperate. So please go out there, buy a shirt, buy some coffee. Let's choose to do good this holiday season together.
And guys, the coffee is delicious. It was delivered to me this week. You're going to enjoy it and you're doing something good at the same time, which is always amazing.
Thanks, Ash. Appreciate that.
You're, everybody.
You, like, are killing it.
You're killing it.
Like, you are, you're truly the most generous person I know.
No, I mean, it really is.
It's been a lot of fun.
And, you know, I think there's a level to life when so many things go really good for you,
like the show and like a podcast that I really enjoy doing and they feel very,
they very, they uplift my spirits.
Then all of a sudden you go, wow, life has been so good to me.
I have to give back.
Oh, absolutely.
And you do the same, Ashley, and it kind of comes.
back to the statement that an old man once told me in a bar.
And we'll close with this.
And we'll close with this this holiday season because I think it's important.
And this is not my advice to anybody.
It really does come an old man sharing a glass of bourbon with him.
And he said to me, Ben, if you die one day, which you will, and people remember you
as somebody that took less than they gave back, then your life was a success.
And so I'm going to stick with that because I believe that came straight from
my god above so hey with that you can write a country song
everybody listening
Ashley and I appreciate you Ashley I appreciate you this holiday season I'm very
thankful for you and for this podcast so thankful for you and Amy we're so
thankful for you and everybody else in that room over there in LA
we just got a lot of love happy Thanksgiving everybody
Happy Thanksgiving I've been Ashley
I've been Ben and we'll talk to you very very soon
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