The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - S3 #11 Scandals & Secrets

Episode Date: November 29, 2017

Ben and Ashely dig into whether or not Lacey and Marcus were ever legally married...Which leads them down a dark path into the biggest Bachelor scandals of all time! Next, they dish out advice on how to handle watching your Ex move on with someone else and the best way to compete with other girls in a non-exclusive relationship.  And finally...personal secrets are reveals in the Ben and Ashley Speed Round!  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All right, Ben, let's just roll with it then and just like, whatever. This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast with IHartRadio. This is the Ben and Ashley I almost famous podcast. And today is a unique day. I, this is Ben, by the way. Oh, really? I'm sitting in an airport, getting ready to fly to Los Angeles to work with Ashley on a little project. So if my sound isn't good or if you can hear babies crying in the background,

Just deal with it, please, for us. It's also, like, the first time that our producer, Amy, is not in the room with us. So we're going to run wild. We have no idea we're going to say, sorry if our tangents are too long. There's no one here stopping me. Oh, my. So, hey, let's get into it, though. Ashley, you do it all right?

Yeah. How was your week? How was your Thanksgiving? It was absolutely amazing. My parents came out to Denver. We did a, you know, we didn't do a ton. We did a lot of housework, but the things that we did do, like hike and go to a couple breweries and spend times with family and friends were incredible. So I had a great Thanksgiving.

What about you? I've been great. Ben, I want to talk about being an only child because I can't even fathom being an only child, but I feel like you and your parents must just have like an even closer friendship because when I'm looking for like friendship in my family, I always go to my sister Lauren, even though I'm so close to my parents. But I feel like you and your parents, like you go to breweries, you drink together, you hike together. That's stuff that I do with Lauren. Yeah, no, you're spot on. I don't know if that is unique to my family dynamic or if that's just kind of the dynamic that happens in only child relationships. But we became very close very early because I didn't have any like people to confide in like a brother or sister.

So they had to learn a lot about me. They had to hear a lot of things about me. And then, you know, if I wanted to get entertained on a vacation, I don't have anybody to hang out with but my parents. And so through that, we became really good friends, which has been really nice. I mean, I think, yes, my favorite people to drink with are my parents, except when they get, you know, they've been on the podcast before. And when they open up, they definitely open up and they don't look back on what they say. Yeah. I remember you guys, we got a little sexual innuendo when his parents came on the show.

Oh, hey, I have a funny story about that, by the way. Yeah. Can I, I don't know if I've ever shared it. So during that podcast, which is one of my favorites, because my parents were in studio with us. I don't know if you remember, we had a caller call in, and she was very emotional. And she was talking about how her and her boyfriend of two years were kind of falling apart and the relationship wasn't going in the right direction and how she was no longer, you know, very interested in pursuing that relationship. And so my parents were both there. And so I thought, well, what better people to get advice from than people that have been married for a long, long time?

So I get advice to my mom, and then I asked my dad for advice. And I don't know if you remember, but he gave really, really poor advice. It was kind of odd, and it just didn't really, like, relate well with your dad. Yeah, and we kind of covered it up pretty well. The reason I had to cover it up. Wait, what are you talking about now? You've got to give us more context. No, no, I will.

I'm not done yet. Okay. So the reason, so he kind of, so I guess his answer to my question of, hey, what should this poor young lady do about this relationship? He was like, well, just pick it out. Keep going about it. That's right. That's right. Hey, I have zero feelings for this guy anymore.

The reason he was so far off on his, on where, what his answer was was because he had actually fallen asleep during the tape of our podcast. I just found out after the podcast. He was watching the Aspen Trees outside the studio that we do the podcast from. And he said it was so relaxing that he just. kick back and fell asleep, and he didn't know he'd have to be called upon again for the rest of the podcast. That's hysterical, and that explained so much. I was like, why are Ben's parents so pro this girl staying with him? Yeah, he was just sound asleep.

So anyways, we were making fun of him during Thanksgiving for that because he's known now to fall asleep during odd times. I don't know if that's the nearest thing or not, but if you want to listen to the podcast again, it's one of our first podcast, and it happened to be with my parents, and you can hear my dad sleeping, which is just a ton of fun and very entertaining. It's so funny. That makes it way better. Yeah, uh-huh. Hey, Ashley, real quick, I want to jump into this. Last week, you mentioned that there have been no bachelor divorces so far. Can you explain yourself because we got a ton of emails about Lacey and Marcus.

Yeah, we got an email from Emily. It says, hi, Ben and Ashley. I've been listening to you talk about the Bachelor franchise for the last few months. A question keeps popping up for me, and I finally had to write in and ask a while back, or last week, you referred to Jade and Tanner as the first BIP couple to get married and I thought, but what about Marcus and Lacey? The topic then came up a few more times, not just in your podcast, and eventually I went online to check that I wasn't just crazy. That Lacey and Marcus did in fact get married on season one, or engaged on season one and married in season two. I confirmed my sanity, and I saw that they have since split up, so I figured everyone had just turned a blind eye. Then on this

week's podcast, you highlighted that no bachelor couple has ever gotten divorce. So what's the deal? Has everyone forgotten about Marcus and Lacey? Has everyone agreed to pretend that BIP season one never happened? Well, I do kind of think that BIP one never happened, to be honest, never really gave it a second thought. And that was actually my first Bachelor franchise show that I didn't watch in its entirety when it was on for like the past seven years or something. But to answer your question and I wish we had Lacey on the phone reached out to her she didn't get back to me but yeah they never got married

actually that ceremony like it was never signed of course there was a ceremony but there was never any legal document no paperwork saying that they were a married couple so that was all just kind of for show if that's how you believe marriages you know if you think that marriage

is a piece of paper well yeah and I mean that's not uncommon actually I think in weddings that people get married out of the States because you have to have a document signed out of the States and internationally. And so it's not uncommon for people to get married, have the ceremony, and then sign the legal documents back in the United States. They just never did. And I don't have any idea why. You know, if they went through the ceremony, typically when

you do that, you're already prepared to sign the documents back in the States. Do you know why they never signed them? I'm not sure why they never signed them. I would go ahead and guess that, oh, I know. I don't know why officially, but this is my best guess. He actually joined the military, like the week that they came back from getting married. And he flew out to Hawaii where he was stationed. And then they honestly just drifted apart. I think they started dating other people. They never kept in touch.

And he wasn't allowed to keep in touch for a couple months. Like you know how in the military there's like that period of time where you have to like just kind of be excluded from the world? He was in that point. and then they like wrote some letters it was honestly like they almost ghosted each other as a married couple and yeah but Lacey back when I was first hearing this story which was like almost two years ago didn't seem very wrecked by it well I mean it's got to be tough that's just a hard situation and again you know if you I cannot imagine getting married and having your spouse kind of leave for months on end like it is consistent. And you have to have a pretty solid foundation to do that. So it makes sense on why maybe they drifted apart. But just to make that clear, we have actually still to this day, Ashley was not wrong. We have had zero bachelor divorces.

We've had a couple really rough splitups, a lot of really rough splitups and breakups, but no divorces so far. And let me just reiterate, don't know all that for fact. That was Lacey's side of the story. And I heard it two years ago. so I'm sorry if all the details are correct. And if Lacey or Marcus want to come on the podcast and really explain what went down between the two of them, they are more than welcome to do so.

We'd love to have him. Did I, do I know this? Is Marcus married or engaged again or something? Oh, he is engaged again. Yeah. I thought I saw that. Sometimes I keep up with this stuff. You know what's interesting?

Did you know that Juan Pablo was married? No, I honestly have not heard Juan Pablo's name in a long, long time. Juan Pablo got married like a year ago or something. She's a former Miss Venezuela, and you know those Miss Venezuela. If you watched last night's Miss Universe, holy moly, they are always in the top tier of the prettiest. Oh, wow. So he's married today. Like, he's back at it.

He's a married man. Hey, you know what? Actually, here's something. I just thought of this. I was in Los Angeles about a month ago, staying at the Santa Monica Marquis. And I walked out of my hotel and I was walking out through the lobby and Juan Pablo was standing there in the lobby. Yeah, but I didn't say hi to him and he didn't say hi to me. So I feel like that's how our relationship is going to work from here and out.

Do you think he saw you? I have no clue if he saw me. If he did, I mean, I've never met him in my life. So there's really not a lot we have in common. And the fact that we were on the same television show. But anyways, that's a little Juan Pablo piece of knowledge for you. I've seen them pretty recently. He looked good.

Good-looking guy he is. Yeah. Hey, moving on. Okay, so I have here in my notes, we have a Bachelor baby. Ashley, tell us about it. We have another Bachelor baby. Last week we talked about how we have a couple of pregnancies. Carly.

Who else? Sean. Sean and Catherine. Okay, well, we also have the dog lover, Kelly Travis, from Juan Pablo's season. She is also pregnant. She got engaged and met the man that she was going to marry very soon after she finished up while Pablo's season. Good for her.

That seems to happen after The Bachelor or Bachelor. People seem to come off the show, maybe open to love or open to finding love or found somebody that they, you know, maybe on the show that they kind of have a better picture of who they want. And a lot of people seem to dive into deep relationships right after the show. Yeah, what was interesting is when I was in casting, they told me that. I think I was talking about a relationship in my real life that I thought was like going pretty well. It was definitely not exclusive by any means, but it was like a guy that I liked and things were going better than usual.

And I was like, I don't know how I feel about doing the show right now because like there is this guy at home, blah, blah, and like the producers were like, you know what? A lot of the times guys at home will watch these girls on TV show and they kind of come to their senses or there's just like something about you emotionally that's like really open. Things seem to work out for people even, like, once they're off the show. And it didn't work out on the show. Well, that's awesome. Good for Kelly. She, uh, hopefully she's still loving dogs and now she's going to be loving on some babies. Yeah.

Exciting. Okay. You know, Ashley, we haven't talked a lot about this upcoming season of The Bachelor, but it's important that we kind of start, you know, giving hints at it and talking about our opinions on it and what we think will happen. But we really don't know a lot about Ari. Nope. A lot of people don't know a lot about Ari.

And so we wouldn't to let everybody know that. On December 11th at 9-8 Central, there's going to be a special, a countdown to Ari, a countdown to this season of The Bachelor. I'm going to read up what the promo is. For the first time ever, Bachelor Nation will get an intimate behind-the-scenes look at Ariely Lindyke Jr.'s life, his family and his love of racing. Travel back to Ari's memorable journey to find love with one of America's favorite bachelorette, Emily Maynard. Five years ago, Ari fell madly in love with Emily, and his idea down on one knee to propose when his heart was broken. Relive one of the most heart-wrenching breakups in Bachelor history and discover how Ari's finally got closure. The inside info into this, the best part of this special, in my opinion, is the worst, most awkward kisses in Bachelor history would be highlighted on this special.

Ashley, will you be watching this special? Okay. Bend has read a press release there for you guys. Secondly, I'm scared that I might be in the worst awkward kisses in Bachelor history. I think I'm going to be. Oh, I'm so, so scared now. Why? Which one?

Actually, every kiss with Crystal's was relatively awkward. The first one... Except that one in the elevator in Vegas. Oh, that's right. That was actually not awkward. Just very surprising. Yeah, the first one, I got so many tweets about how awkward it was and how I looked like I was just being the most aggressive person in the entire world.

And, like, my whole family. cringe and I wanted to die. And then there was this one time where I was making out with Chris like in week three and I basically almost pulled him over the balcony at the Bachelor Mansion. And I think it got a little better after that. But that first one is definitely making the cut. Oh, Lord. I cannot. I'm really excited for this. I hope I'm not on his because this is, this would be one of the most embarrassing things. I mean, it's so hard when you're on these shows to kind of get over that mental block where you know that there's 20 people standing around you with cameras and producers and friends and watching you do this that's hard to get

over once you get over it though the idea that you have to watch it back and you get the sound effect we've talked about the time of this before on this show it's so much so this segment the most awkward uh kisses in bachelor history being highlighted it's going to be really hard to watch i really don't think you're going to make it the only one i can think of other than myself is like Charlene and Juan Pablo, man, Juan Pablo's coming up a lot in this podcast. But yeah, Charlene Juan Pablo, not that cute, not that cute kissing. But Charlene also stood up for me when my awkward kiss with Chris Aaron and she was like, look, you guys don't get it. You don't get how it is to have a first kiss on TV. You don't. Okay, so here, Ashley, what is your, you are

familiar with this. You've got on Paradise. We don't know if there's going to be any future bachelor shows for you or not out there. Okay. So, Any person in this world that happens to find themselves in front of cameras, if it's at a wedding, or if it's on the television show, and they're going to have their first kiss or they're going to have a kiss with somebody, what is your advice? How do you get over it? How do you get over it? Or, like, how do you get by with it looking the best? No, because you don't want to be thinking about how am I going to make this look good. You just want to get over the mental block of I'm kissing somebody with people watching. Like, how do you just relax and let whatever happens happen? Have a couple drinks. Is that it? No, okay.

So what if you don't drink? I want to know what other ways there is. I mean, there's got to be, I just think this is such an important part of like watching The Bachelor is understanding that a lot of these moments are awkward, but you don't want them to be forced. You want them to feel real. You want them to be real. And so you have to get over these mental blocks.

I don't know. You're asking me like you know the real answer. I don't. I mean, my, I know how to give my advice. My advice would be. Dr. Ben. So I did this. Dr. Ben.

No. So on the first night of The Bachelor, when all these beautiful women came in and I was introduced to them and we sat down for the first time, there's a ton of nerves. I think you can relay and most people can relate. On that first night of the Bachelor, there's a ton of nerves going on on both sides. I don't remember a time where I was more nervous than that. Exactly. And so what I did, because I remember Caitlin did this with me, and Caitlin was so good at kind of calming the people, her suitors down. And so what she would do and what I tried to do with every person that sat down next to me would say, okay, take a break, take a deep breath, look around, get familiar with your surroundings. There are people around us. These people are not here to judge you. They're not here to criticize you. They're not here to laugh at you. They're here to do their job. And our time is to date. Our time is to be here. right now in the present moment. And so look around, get comfortable, and then let's focus on each other. And it kind of does help to just kind of look around and say, okay, I'm not going to act like these people aren't here. They're here, but I have to get over that because I want this to be a real scenario, a real situation.

Okay. I thought you were talking just about exclusively making out. If you're talking about just like connecting with someone on camera, I think it's not happened naturally for me over a couple of days and just becoming friends of the producers that you just feel like you're talking in front of your friends. Yeah, I agree. So that would be my advice to anybody, even in a wedding scenario when those cameras around. Just relax.

You're around friends. You're around family. You're around people that care about you. On The Bachelor, just around a bunch of people you haven't quite met yet. But you will, and you'll fall in love with them quickly. But just relax a little bit. And another way to relax, Ashley, and this is a really important way to relax, especially on the holidays, is a little thing that we know very well called Saucy. Saucy is this beautiful app.

We're just really big fans of Saucy. This app is like having a full bar on your phone. Let me tell you a little about Saucy. The holidays are here. And if you're hosting a holiday gathering, you have a million errands to run. Well, cross one off your list. You can skip the liquor store because now you have the alcohol that can come straight to you. Saucy delivers your favorite wine, beer and liquor right to your door on demand.

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have your champagne sent right to you and just enjoy getting to know Ari. You guys, if you do want to get to know Ari beyond this special on the 11th, the ABC app has Emily's full season up now. So, you know, you can get to know all about that kissing bandit. And I do love, I want to shout out to Lauren Zima at ET. She's one of our favorite Bachelor Beat reporters. And she is doing a weekly segment online where she goes, through all of Ari's best scenes

on Emily's season, so you don't have to go and watch the entire season, but you can just watch his highlights there. And she's having a Bachelor guest appearance every week. I've done it. Dean's done it. Corinne's done it. Did Ari have that many good scenes or anything? Is he that likable? I

honestly, I didn't watch that season, so I have no clue. Like, is he going to just be a complete stud? I mean, he's definitely going to be a kissing stud. I think he's really, he seems really warm. Okay, so it'll be like very welcoming. Yeah.

Okay, do you think he gets engaged? Yeah. You do? Do you think he's ready for that? Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, hey, moving on, some things that have happened in the past. And like we said, we're kind of prepping for this new season, The Bachelor.

Fox News just came out with the biggest bachelor scandals of all time. Okay, there's a list here. We're to read the top 10 to you. I'll start at 10. at 10. And actually, after I'm done reading these, I want you to discuss, especially number four. And some of these that kind of stayed out to you. So I'll pause after everyone I read and see if you have a comment on. All right. Juan Pablo, again, we bring up his name at number 10, the most hated bachelor of all time. Do you agree? Yeah, obviously. I loved his season, though. Just because he was the actual worst bachelor because he was the least romantic and the most misogynistic. It was so entertaining because he was such a horrible person

Okay Number nine, DeMario had a girlfriend during I don't think this is a number nine scandal Come on now, guys So many people go on the show With a significant other at home Oh, that sounds weird Okay, Nick Viled dished on

About Sex and the Fantasy Suite I remember this, okay? Even kind of as I was starting to watch the Bachelor and Bachelorette. I remember this scene and how awkward it was. This was a really iconic scene in Bachelor history. Truly, I agree. This was iconic.

If you guys don't remember, this is when Andy was on the, I guess it was after the final row stage, and Nick came out to face her for the first time since she broke up with him. And he was like, well, if you didn't love me, then why did you make love to me? Ooh. I mean, I feel like that's so,

so heavy, but it didn't beat number seven, which is, hey, yours truly, Ben Higgins dropped. I love you too much. Ashley, you can comment. Ben, I don't know why people think that this, I don't know. People make such a big deal out of this. You just have a lot of love in your heart. Thanks, Ashley. I appreciate that.

Yeah, you know, I mean, I get it. It was such a influential part of my experience, and it has affected my life, even post, You know, there's a ton of questions and there were feelings heard about it. But come on, guys, there's so much more. But I'm glad I made the top 10. If I can make a top 10 in anything, I'm pretty happy about it. The next one, number six, is Bachelor Brad Wilmack, who did The Bachelor twice, went home a Bachelor. Yep.

That's, wait. Oh, my God. I'm looking down this and remind me to say at the end what they're missing from this list. I kind of love Brad Walmack because he was the first. Bachelor I ever watched and I just I don't know he was like classic Bachelor you know what I mean yeah I mean he was and he was such a solid guy from everything I hear from my good friend Kerry Fettman who does all the wardrobe um for the bachelor and bachelorette he's carry is an amazing guy and he has a good read of character on the people that come on the show and he said

that Brad Wilmack was his favorite bachelor he's ever dealt with and that says a lot and so I have a lot respect for Brad and maybe he just wasn't feeling it who knows I don't I don't watch that season but from everything I hear Brad's a great dude yeah I mean he's just like studly and he owns bars you know he's a bachelor actually you're gonna have to explain number five to me it just says bachelor

she cheated with a producer what does that mean I believe this is referring to BIP season one where there was a girl as part of the cast who was cheated who not cheating on anyone but she was hooking up with a producer and I think the producer or the cameraman, I'm not sure it was an actual producer

but it was somebody on the crew side she was hooking up with him and to escape getting caught the dude like jumped out of a two-story window and broke a leg and then they were caught. Yeah. You broke a leg. Literally he was hooking up with this cast member

gets caught. I think I hear the story that he was hiding in a closet as people were coming looking for him and then as soon as they, the people that were on staff left the room he jumped out the window broke his leg and so he didn't make it very far that guy didn't make it on the show very far either well no it was the girl the girl is the cast member the guy was the crew yeah yeah but the crew member got fire oh definitely long on the show okay number four Caitlin ruins the show with her snapchat this is very sensitive to me

this is crazy but i i have to get a little protective here of kately and shan because i do like them both very much. But I want to hear your thoughts first, Ashley. Oh my gosh. I remember when this happened. I think it was a couple days before I left for my first season of Paradise. And I think there was a couple guys in Paradise who didn't even know who the final winner was because Sean and Caitlin had been that secretive. And then I get there and I'm like, oh no, it's Sean. She accidentally uploaded a Snapchat of the two of them. And man, what a spoiler. A especially with that season. And I'm not sure really because I was just so close

to a lot of the guys on that season, but I was more compelled with Caitlin's season than ever before. And I just thought that that one, the finale seemed like a toss-up. Like I really felt like she could have, the way it was edited, picked Nick or Sean equally.

But then all of us knew a couple weeks before the finale that it was Sean. Yeah, I mean, I think this is such a sensitive one for me because I do think Caitlin and Sean, You could see it on night one. They were meant for each other. I mean, they were great. Oh, yeah.

And this was the reason this was such a big deal, because I would argue that Jojo and Caitlin could be the two most popular Bachelorette of all time. And I think everybody was so captivated and compelled by Caitlin in the way just the person she was and her fight for all these guys who cared about her and, you know, with the storyline of Nick coming in, everybody was so invested in her season that when this Snapchat came out, I think it was such a kind of a letdown for the fans because they're like, oh, there's no more anticipation. But yet her season still captivated the audience. Even when they did know it was Sean, they still watched because it was just such a good season of The Bachelorette.

And it was such a true pursuit of love by Caitlin. It was probably the only season of The Bachelorette that could have gone on as successfully as it did with having the ending spoiled. And just for you guys to know, a little tidbit, Caitlin only had the Snapchat up for five. minutes before somebody alerted her that it was public and in those five minutes she got 5,000 views and of course like a bajillion screenshots yeah yeah it's such a tough scenario but hey they're doing well today everybody still watch this season I actually think the ratings went up even after the Snapchat so the Bachelor franchise is not hurt by it and they were lucky to have Caitlin and Sean during the show okay number three we're getting out of that the three

and these three are kind of heavy I mean the rest of these are kind of yeah kind of funny and we can kind of laugh at it but these three are heavy so the chris soul situation that came up last year uh you know we talked about it last week we don't talk about a lot but i know uh actually today he is having his court appearance um we we don't have any update on that we'll try to inform everybody as that goes on but really a really tough situation for a really good guy and um but yes it is something that affected bachelor nation um very much and then number two um yeah number two uh something that happened recently as well. We've had, it's really interesting me, Ashley, that the three last scandals have all happened within the last year. That says a lot about a franchise that's

been around for 20 years. Honestly, like six months, yeah. Number two is Becky, the producer, shoes the show, and individual producers. We've discussed this a lot. We've discussed this enough. I don't know where this stands anymore. I think it probably got settled outside of court. But another huge scandal. And going down to number one, one that our podcast was kind of, I mean, within the first couple months of us starting this podcast, this happened. But Corinne and DeMario, the situation in Bachelor in Paradise is number one on this list. And do you know what they were missing? And holy moly, what a miss.

What was that? Jason and Molly Mesnick, how Jason ended up dumping his winner during the, or during or before the airing of after the final rose, and going ahead and marrying his runner up. that is true i i mean that is maybe the biggest scandal not even scandal just biggest story uh in bachelor history i mean look at them they're still together today but that little scene on television was one of the most iconic scenes along with the nick situation that we've ever watched in front of our eyes yeah like ben you said i love you to two people but this guy but and you get on the list but this guy decided to marry and has been married to a girl for like

six years who he dumped on TV. Yeah, I mean, what a, I know both Jason and Molly. Molly, I mean, must have a very forgiving heart. Oh, yeah. Look back at Jason say, yeah, I'm going to spend my life with you. Even after you dumped me on national television, he definitely did well for himself in that situation. And to pick another girl over, it wasn't like she just got dumped. It was like another girl got picked over her.

Hey, we all make mistakes. We all learn from our mistakes. You know, hindsight is 2020. So I'm sure once they got together, now they've had kids and then they're raising a family together. I'm sure they last at that moment. But at the time, that was a pretty serious scandal in vaccination. Actually, I think you're right. That deserves the top 10.

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Omaha Steaks have been around forever. I remember my parents when I was growing up used to get Omaha Steaks at the house. And it really is like Christmas any day when an adult can receive Omaha Steaks to their. Okay. Now we're moving in to one of my favorite segments. This is one of my favorite segments because I get to hear Ashley's heart. I get to hear our listener's heart. We appreciate all the emails that come in. So Ashley, you always just kind of crush this segment. So please lead us. And the segment that says, let's listen to our listeners. All righty. This is from Hannah. Hannah says about one year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of almost five years because it was time to start thinking about engagement in marriage. And I was not 100% sure that that was the guy that I wanted. want to be with. I was not getting that spark or that mf feeling about him anymore. He did not take the breakup very well and was very broken for a long time. Yesterday, I just found out that he recently started seeing someone and I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest.

I feel you. Are these feelings normal? Do I want him back? I don't want to put my feelings out there to him if it's just going to end up hurting him again. And what do I do if I get rejected? If I do do that. I don't know what to do about this and I really need a fresh opinion. Love Hannah. Well, Dr. Ben, do you want to take the advice first? No, you know, Ashley, I want to kind of pick back on you because I think that you really do, for all those people that don't know, Ashley, she's very emotional. She really rides her emotions and this seems like in a very emotional email, right? So Ashley, I do want to hear your thoughts first. Okay. Well, I feel like I feel like you probably don't actually still harbor feelings for him.

I think it's probably a jealousy thing, and it's just a him being with somebody else thing. But I do think it's going to be masked as a you still like him thing for the next little bit. I don't know how personal to get here, but I do think that, oh, no, I shouldn't get this personal. Come on, Ashley. Well, I don't think I can talk about it. Okay. So Jared just went on a trip. And I was worried that on his trip that maybe he could like get a girlfriend, right? And I'm totally over Jared. I really actually am. I have like friend zoned him completely in my own mind. Like I can't even imagine making out with him. But I always wonder if he were to like come back from this trip and had a girlfriend how I would feel in like my gut. And would it be because I'm jealous? Because I was never that girl. or would it be because I actually still had feelings? That's such a good question.

I mean, I remember just a couple of weeks ago you admitted to all of us here at the podcast that you were over, Jared, but it sounds like even with the words that you're saying, I was worried that you would come back with a girlfriend. You're hinting at the fact that you might not be fully overhand. Well, well, well, I think you, no, no. I just, I feel like you're always, I've never experienced it before. That's why. like in my two and a half year friendship with Jared as much as I think that first year was like a lot of confusion but like for the past year and a half I just feel like I've never experienced him having a girlfriend before and I don't know how that would feel if I found out that he was dating somebody like seriously yeah okay so actually what I'm hearing you say and what I kind of read in this situation here is we've mentioned it before actually you were the one that gave me this advice and I had never thought of it this way but typically after

or a breakup, you seem to remember all the good things, and you forget the things that were not healthy about the relationship. And so when you, when you're, no, I mean, when you're a year out, you look back and you say, okay, this went well, this went well, I missed this person. I miss, I miss this about this person. But you forget the things that really separated you. And so as I start this email out, I'm hearing Hannah say, hey, I wasn't sure about this guy. We were trying to make the commitment for long-lasting for a lifetime, and I just couldn't do it.

And now they're dating somebody else. I'm questioning if I made the right decision. Of course you're questioning if you made the right decision. That's what we do as humans. We constantly question ourselves. We question others. Life is not straightforward. It's not always clear.

But what you did, Hannah, is you made the decision to separate yourself from this void. And as a result, you have to respect him moving on. You have to give him that space to move on. You can't keep pulling him back in when you're not certain that he's the one for you. I would say that in relationships and in breakups, as I've said it before, the hardest part about a breakup is not the breakup. It is ripping the Band-Aid off when you see that person with somebody else. When their heart is starting to be shared with somebody else,

when they're trying to share their heart with somebody else, that is the most difficult thing. That is the most difficult time. And there's no good advice for that. That's just, you just have to rip the Band-Aid out. You know, there's no easy way when you get a shot at the doctor to rip it off your arm, the Band-Aid off your arm hair. There's no way. You just got to do it. Rip it off to do it.

Understand where you're at and understand that you care a lot and admit that and tell yourself that you care a lot, but you have to move on. So, but here, here's the caveat to all of this, I think. Hannah, if you're sitting there and you're saying, this is the man for me, I'm going to marry this guy, I realized it. I'm looking back on our relationship and I'm realizing the bad things and the good things. And I know that I'll never meet a man as good as this guy. This is my person. This is the person I'm going to spend life with. Then you better run after him right now.

You better let him know that because you can't let that person go away. But you have to be very positive that he is the one for you. If you're not, don't do it. Don't put him in that situation. Yeah. Ben, you just are you're so good. It's so funny because literally right before we started our podcast, I gave a friend advice who's like in a sort of, it's not.

a similar situation by any means, but like a recent cutoff of a relationship. And I was like, I think you're just kind of like remembering how good it was at the beginning and you're not, and you're not concentrating on how bad it's made you feel recently. And I think that's what you have to keep reminding yourself of at times like this is just like, think about the bad times, don't think about the good times. But for some reason, your mind always fills in the gaps with the good times. Yeah, it does. I wonder why. I mean, we'd have to talk to psychologists, but we should have a psychiatrist ought to talk about that? I would like to assume that it is because we question ourselves so much as human

that we constantly are, if you're in touch with yourself and you have some introspective, if you can get introspective, then I think we do question our decision making so often that we could forget the negative things and the things that didn't work and we just remember the positive things because those are the only things that make us kind of feel guilty for leaving that person, but I have no clue. We'd have to talk to a specialist. And aren't good memory is always more vivid? Yeah, they really are.

The things you remember, you kind of want to block off the bat. That's such a good point, actually. I mean, you do want to block off every bad situation in life, right? Every bad decision we made, every hurtful moment, we kind of get numb to those because we block them off and we move forward and we only remember the positive things. Yeah. Actually, if you go read the liner notes in Taylor Swift's album read, She described this so well. It's beautiful. Taylor Swift, coming back to help all of us

continue not dating anybody since 1989. Hey, she's very, very happy right now, Ben. Okay, let's move on. To Heather. I really like Heather. Okay, from Heather. Love the podcast. It makes me feel less crazy. Yes. Waiting around in these terrible dating waters. Waiting wadding waiting waiting waiting waiting around in water okay i never used that that word i feel like we're in this together that's great i that's my goal in life is like if i'm going to be single at least make other people feel better about their singleness i'm newly dating a guy still casual and going well but it's come to my attention that he's definitely dating someone else as well i came straight to you guys, of course, this is fine. We're not exclusive. I was going out with another guy when we first

went on our first date, but I've been feeling some real potential. So this realization has kind of hit me hard. How do you handle it when the person that you are into is dating someone else and you might finish in second place? I don't want to compete against this invisible girl. I know nothing about her, but I also want to fight to stay number one with this dude. I'm starting to feel strung along, and I don't know how to wait this out. Ooh. Well, welcome to my life on The Bachelor. Always number two.

You know, it's a funny story that never got aired. One time during my second season of Paradise, I look up at Nick as I wasn't asked to go on a date that I really didn't care about going on, and I just thought I was interesting. I was like, why wouldn't he ask me? It was with that guy from your season. whatever, totally irrelevant. But I look up at Nick and I go, Nick, why am I always second place?

And then he gave me a look and I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Soar subject. Anyway. That's tough. Heather, I don't know what to tell you, but I can feel the ache in your heart. I totally am familiar with the situation.

It sucks. But then again, at the same time, I don't really have advice for you, except, like, maybe brace yourself for heartbreak, but, like, keep going at it. I don't know. Because it's never worked out for me. Just talking, like, from my own personal perspective, that, like, it hasn't seen if I'm second. If you're second place right now, I don't know. I don't know.

If he's continuing to date someone else, then I would say he's probably not sold on either one of you. oh man i cannot wait if you and heather were standing face to face and and you gave for the advice of brace yourself for heartbreak her poor oh i cannot imagine just a sorrow in her eyes oh my gosh see i need to i need to pretend like she's here next to me but i would probably tell her in real life i'd be like i don't know i'd be weary if he's dating two people at once that means he's probably not head over heels for either of you yeah i mean I mean, that would be my advice, is until he can make that commitment, you have nothing to control, Heather. And it seems to me, like, if you're going to enter into a relationship with a guy that is dating other people,

then he needs to figure out very quickly if he just wants to date you. Now, this is, okay, so here's this scenario, right? What if Heather and this guy meet, they go on one date? And he had been dating somebody off and on for the month before that. he still wants to figure out if Heather is that right person for him and so it's not unfair for him to date multiple people at once I don't think so you're dating that's what dating is but you have to set your boundary you have to start communicating now what your expectations for this guy are so he knows so he knows

hey if he wants to be with you Heather then he has to then he needs to know he can only be dating you or if you're okay with him dating the other person then he needs to know that as well but you have to start setting boundaries and communicate to him where your heart's at, what your feelings are. If he is the right guy, this is my opinion, maybe, maybe I'm completely off, if he is the right guy, if he is a type of guy that is husband material, okay, or long-term boyfriend material, let's not, I don't know how old you are, Heather, then telling him, hey, I really care about you, I'm worried I'm going to fall in second to this other girl.

I don't like the idea that I'm going to need to compete. I just want to relax and be myself and see where this goes. If you can't tell him that and him to respond in a mature way, then he's not husband material because the rest of your life, you'll need to continue to communicate about tough subjects like that openly. So maybe just try it. And if it doesn't go over well, then you know that you're better off in the long run anyways. Yeah. And you know what also, Heather, make sure that these feelings that you've been developing recently aren't because he's playing hard to get, aren't because there's another girl involved. because sometimes if you feel like there's a competition, you're going to like it more.

Yeah, that's true. I mean, look at, look from our experience, actually. Yeah, look at that. Exactly. That's why I know where I'm coming from with that advice. Hey, so Heather, talk, communicate, listen, process, and actually spot on. Make sure that you know where these things are coming from because competition is not a healthy way to start a relationship. But it isn't the worst way either. So here's a deal. One thing, though, as we talk about The Bachelor, one product that is popular with so many Bachelor people out there, including Ashley and I, are movement watches. Movement watches when you see it in ads or on Instagram or whatever is going to be spelled MVMT, but it's pronounced movement, was founded on the belief that styles shouldn't break the bank. The watchmaker's goal is to change the way consumers think about fashion by offering high quality, minimalist,

products at revolutionary prices. With over 1 million watches sold to customers around the world, Movement Watches is the world's fastest growing watch company. And a lot of that is thanks to that almost in this podcast, I would like to believe. This company was started by two broke college kids that wanted to wear stylish watches but couldn't afford them. So they started their own watch company. Movement watches just start at just $95. At a department store, you're looking at a $400 to $500 value.

You get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmpt.com backslash almost famous. This watch really has a clean design. Seriously, if you look at Ashley in a lot of her pictures or if you look at a lot of people around, they have these movement watches on. They look good in all scenarios. I think Ashley said last week she can wear sweats through a movement watch on and she's glamorous. So seriously, I've been getting compliments ever since I put mine on. I'm sitting at the airport, like I said.

I can just see people looking at me right now. the whispers about my movement watch are hot and heavy. So now is your time to step up your watch game. Go to movement mvmpt.com. Backslash almost famous, join the movement today. Ashley, final email. And then we need to close out of here. I'm getting ready to get on a flight and I can't miss it.

I know because we have something so fun to do together tomorrow. I think it might be top seeker right now so we won't reveal it, but we'll talk about the next couple weeks. It's not podcast related. People just love Ben and I together. And it's not Bachelor-related. So let's not be confused here. This is something completely different.

It is, you know, I'm going to say it because I've already done some fun stuff with this show, and I've loved it, and I hope to do more in the future. Ashley and I are going to be co-hosting an episode of First Look. First Look is a show on NBC, and it's super exciting. Ashley and I are going to get to do something in front of the cameras together. as a team, which is cool because people are seeing that this podcast is kind of working for the both of us. And so we will be a team hosting First Look, which is a show on NBC, like I said, that airs on Saturday night. So please tune in, wait for our episode to air, but tomorrow we're taping together.

I can't wait, Ashley. It's so cool. I've loved First Look for a long time. It airs after SNL on Saturday nights. It's like a lifestyle show. Ben has been doing some crazy things with it. Facing a lot of fears. That's what his theme has been so far.

So you guys can check that out. in January. Our episode will air in January. And Ben, before we move on to this email, tomorrow is giving Tuesday. And I think that it's time for you to give a little shout out to Jen Us. Oh, you're the best, Ashley. Thank you. So Ashley has been such a good friend to me, along with a couple other people in Bachelorsonation. And they partnered with me on a campaign that we're doing called Gen Us. Gen Us is a campaign to say that in the time of so much device in this where people seem to feel so much more hate than love. We wanted to start a campaign to sell T-shirts to give back to people all over the world.

We're giving back to children to put them through school to support them in school from places in the United States to all the way to Africa to Haiti. Kids will be affected by this campaign. So you can go on to my Instagram. The link to purchase a T-shirt is in my bio. And once you purchase a T-shirt, you will be joining the Generation Us movement. And that just means a lot to me. It means a lot to Ashley.

We just are trying to find ways, I guess, to support kids out there to feel love and not hate because I am – I don't want this generation to grow up in a world of divisiveness. So in short, generous coffee company, the coffee company that I started with a few buddies, along with the GoX apparel company with a similar business model joined together to do this Generation Us campaign. And we are giving all profits, all profits. I'm meaning that this is not – I'm not making a dime off of this. This is just to give something back to people in need. So anyways, go out there, check out the Instagram

or the link in the Instagram buy a T-shirt. Shirts are so soft. Good quality Benjamin. All right, last email. It's from Jen Ann. I don't know. Genet. Genet. Thanks. I can't really. I'm not a very

good reader. Hi, Ben and Ashley. I don't know if you guys have seen the show Unreal, but it is a bachelor-esque type show, and I'm pretty sure one of the producers on the show used to be a producer for The Bachelor. My friend and I were wondering how much of Unreal is an accurate description of the kind of pushing that goes on during the actual Bachelor. Are there any similarities or none? Any thoughts you guys have? Well, well, well. Ben, you go first.

that was going to be the case. Oh, Ashley. So anyways, here's the deal. I have seen, oh, I said here's the deal again. That is my go-to line. I wonder if I say that in real life or just on this podcast. No, I have a crutch on podcast, too, and that's something like, all right, so get this. And you say, we both do it.

It's fine. But I have seen Unreal. There are things that are obviously true about Unreal that are true on The Bachelor. I mean, there's tons of producers around. The producers do have a room where they watch all the movements of the cast members. They have to. It's a television show. They have to know what's going on at all times.

I get that. The Bachelor is not, I've always said it this way. The Bachelor is not scripted. Doing The Bachelor or Bachelor, I never was told to say anything. There was never anything written out for me to say. It is all up to the cast members' decisions to say what they want to say. But with that, there are things that go on, that the cast members don't know about,

that the producers do know about. So they kind of play God. They kind of have this view on the whole environment that's different than the cast knows. So Unreal Dunn does depict that. I don't know if producers are hooking up behind the scenes. I mean, a bunch of producers are in their 20s, and they travel on the road with each other.

I'm sure there's been hookups on the show. That's not shocking. It happens in business everywhere. You know, so sure. There's a couple marriages amongst the crew. Yeah, of course. And then the final thing, and actually, I don't know if you agree or disagree with this, but I believe this from my heart.

And I would fight for this. The Bachelor's job is to show drama, right? The show is a story. And so they depict the story that's happening in front of the cameras, and they need to do it the best they can. I have never, in my experience, been a part of a situation where the Bachelor wants to intentionally hurt somebody for the sake of that. of a television show. Now, there are people that have been hurt, and they have definitely shown it, and they definitely show the storyline that's playing out. But I've never seen a producer, a cast member, on purpose to get a story out of them. And so that's been shown on

Unreal. So I watched Unreal the entire first season, and I watched half of the second season. Don't know why I didn't finish it. I've always said that it kind of like goes along with whatever my experience has been on the show sometimes I'm like oh yeah unreal is like so unreal so unreal yeah and then there have been times I'm like oh you know what I've had that happen to me but overall I say it's just a huge exaggeration especially when it comes to contestant safety I mean that whole suicide scene because they took her meds away like that's insane there's so much there's way more insanity on the show than it's incomparable. It truly isn't comparable.

Sure, there are things we were like, oh, that's crazy. They must have done that to me. But overall, it's an exaggeration. Yeah. Definitely. I mean, I've never had a producer want to hurt me physically or emotionally. That wouldn't be smart for them. They're really there. The Bachelor is there. It's an unscripted show to depict 26 to 30 people competing for one person's heart. You're going to get good stories. no matter what you do from that. Unreal just Asher said it's an exaggeration. So anyway,

yeah, people, the producers are also portrayed on Unreal like they are evil, soulless, dark people. I've, none of our producers are like that. They are happy and they, they have wonderful hearts. They have really good souls. I would like to believe that they have souls. I know a couple that I definitely know have souls. So great question. If you're interested in sending anything to Ashley and I. Please, Ashley, give them any of our listeners the email to ask us a question or to send an email. We will try to respond

as quickly as possible. It is Ben and Ashley at iHeartMedia dot com. We love hearing from you. Yeah, we do. We love hearing tweets and reviews. We appreciate every single one and I read every single one too, all the tweets.

Yeah, that's awesome. You do. I keep seeing that on my Twitter. I go through, and there's that little section that I get that says verified and who's verified that's commenting on tweets about you. Yeah. And my whole verified feed is actually commenting back to every tweet that is sent into the two of us about the podcast. So actually, you're really good at communicating with all of the fans of the almost famous

podcast. Thanks. That's because I appreciate them, Ben. Appreciate it. You do. I know you do. Okay. Let me tell you about bio clarity.

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almost famous and famous because first off it benefits you you get something in return if that's a percentage off if that's a free product whatever but also benefits us because it shows our sponsors that you as listeners are investing into the podcast and believing and what we're selling so please help us out we'll help you out in return hey ben it sounds like people are watching you at the airport um as you host this podcast they really are yeah i'm pacing back and forth right now and uh in Denver at uh at gate uh b 42 shout out to everyone at gate 42 Ben, I want to do a little fast round of questions for you because I don't want to leave with one of our sponsors

as wonderful as our sponsors are. Okay. Ben, what's your favorite candy bar? Butterfinger. Soda. Sprite. What's your favorite Thanksgiving food? Ham.

What is your song of the week? Oh, my gosh. Let's go. You know, I've been listening to a lot of Hank Williams, Jr. So I'd just go with anything Hank Williams, Jr. today. Okay. Now you've got to ask me questions back. Okay, I got you. Ashley, what's your biggest fear? Not getting married and having a family.

Ashley, what's your most awkward moment in life? Well, ha ha ha, ha. The one that comes to mind is my most recent one, and that was two weeks ago at the Justice League premiere, I think we talked about this last week when I told, did I say this last week? I told Henry Cavill that he, I met him at the after party, and I told him he was the most superman-y Superman he's ever been. And then it came out of my mouth and I was like, oh, God, does that think, does that mean that he thinks that I don't think he's been a good superman in the past? And then I just kept stumbling. And I was like, but you've always been a good

superman. It's just like this time it was like the most Superman, Superman. Oh my God. It was painful. And people have been telling me all night long. They're like, he's single. You got to go meet him. He's single. So, like, don't tell me a man is single and super hot before I go talk to him. Brasher.

Okay, so as hot as he is, my next question is, what is your biggest turnoff? What could Henry do to turn you completely off from him? You have to say something. Probably be pessimistic. Yeah, be a negative person. Okay, okay, fair enough. And then, Ashley, what are your plans for the next two weeks? Oh, well, I'm going to Jingle Ball on Friday, and then I'm getting a facial, and then I have to do a couple of these podcasts, and then I have to do a couple more of my other podcasts, and then I'm doing first look with you tomorrow, and on Wednesday, it's a busy week.

It's a busy week. All right, hey, keep up the data with everything Ashley is doing in the next day. two weeks and everything I'm doing, but I continue to listen to the Almost Famous Podcast. We appreciate you. And hey, to close us out, I just want to give one last shout out to the Gen Us campaign. Ashley, thank you for bringing that up. Every t-shirt, every t-shirt that's for sale is made out of recycled water bottles.

It's a really cool thing that companies are starting to do is instead of using materials that hurt the environment, they're reusing water bottle or reusing plastic bottles to make these T-shirts. So you're helping the environment out as well. So help kids, help the environment, help people. And if you don't choose the Gen Us campaign, Ashley and I want to encourage you to invest in others, invest in fighting, and justices. It's that time of year. It's a holiday.

Let's not be selfish. Hey, everybody, we appreciate you. We'll talk to you soon. With that, I've been Ben. And I've been Ashley. Show. On the Almost Famous Podcast. Peace.

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