The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - S4 #11 After After the Final Rose

Episode Date: March 8, 2018

Ben goes solo at first, and now that he’s had a few days to reflect on the finale, gives some thoughts on how Arie handled things throughout the season, and what we learned from After the Final Rose Then he passes the baton to Ashley, so we can hear her thoughts on how this season wrapped up. Jason Mesnick hops on the line, to share his first hand experience of what was going on in Arie’s mind. After he dishes that inside info, Ashley tackles some listener emails, and even non-Bachelor related questions! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is the Ben and Ashley I almost famous podcast with IHartRadio. We understand that you have waited patiently. We have been waiting patiently to get this podcast out to you. My name is Ben and my co-host Ashley will be arriving very quickly. She has been busy all day, doing press, answering all the questions about the crazy, they're dramatic, the also exciting last episode. of this season of The Bachelor. I would like to start this podcast because I got the stage and I'm all by myself and

and I got a moment just to talk to you all. I'd like to start this podcast by saying this season of The Bachelor is one that I feel like we will remember only because of these last two episodes. I watched last night from my house in Denver, Colorado, pretty much in awe of the emotional roller coaster that this show somehow took me through once again. It really is crazy to me that the Bachelor, year over year, over year, no matter how, you know, boring, no matter how non-dramatic the whole season is at some point in every season I find myself on the edge of my seat with my hands over my face anxiously awaiting the ending of the season. And last

night was no different. Just to quickly recap, Ari's season of The Bachelor was not without controversy. You know, Ari was criticized for sometimes being distant, not exactly being relatable, but there's one thing that nobody ever criticizing for. He was always very authentic. He followed his heart throughout the whole season, even sometimes to a fault, as we talked about on our last episode of the podcast, even sometimes when Ari could have been a little more engaging, a little more exciting, a little more, uh, communicative. He wasn't because that's not who he is. And so as a result, I feel like we got to know Ari for who he is. And that's an authentic, uh, genuine person who was looking for love. Uh, last night, uh, during the final

episode, uh, we saw for the first time, uh, Ari with his, his second choice, but, but I guess now his first choice, Lauren, uh, Lauren and Ari got engaged, uh, in a, and a somewhat, weird fashion. I kind of found it. I don't know if any of you did. If you found last night's engagement just still feel a little odd, please email us and let us know at Ben and Ashley at iHeartMedia.com. I felt just like I was watching something that seemed in a sense for us. And here's a weird part for me. I know that Ari was going to surprise Lauren with the engagement. I get that. But I also saw that Kimmel knew that they were getting engaged that evening. So I'm a little confused on how this all timeline worked out. Was it actually a surprise

that they got engaged on after the final rose or was it not? And if it wasn't, maybe that's why I just felt like that whole scenario seemed forth. But with all that being said, we do wish Ari and Lauren the best moving forward. You know, if he did find love. And if she found love during the season as well, then that's what we're here for. And we can't deny the fact that even though it didn't work out the way that it would have been the fairy tale ending that we would have preferred as fans of the show, maybe the fairy tale is yet to be told in a few months from now or maybe a year from now, we'll be watching or hearing about a wedding between Ari and Lauren. And at that point, this will be one of the few batch of success stories that we need to celebrate. Because at the end of the day, we're in this for one thing, and that's love. The Bachelor will stand on.

That's why the Bachelor exists. And that's why the Bachelor will continue in the future. Let me read an email real quick from Kelsey, just kind of relating back to The Bachelor, it says, I was curious about a Bachelor secret that I was hoping you could share. The final episode always takes place in a distant location. How long does the runner-up have to stay until they're able to go home? Are they able to tell their families and lean on them for support? So I want to read this question now because I think this kind of puts everything in perspective

as we're, you know, thinking about Lauren's experience on the show after the engagement, the original engagement between Beck and Ari. What was Lauren doing in that meantime? Did she get to go home right away? Did she have to be stuck in Peru? And honestly, this is what happened. So the final day happened, the engagement happens. and the couple goes off into their own little hideaway for a few days

to kind of celebrate as a couple and take a deep breath and rest and relax and kind of figure out who they are as couples. The runner-up is then kind of stuck in this location until that couple goes home because the big reason there is the show doesn't want any spoilers. It doesn't want anything to be ruined. And so the couples all have to kind of go home at the same time. So does it look like anybody was sit home early? Because there's a ton of paparazzi.

There's a ton of people out there looking for spoilers, trying to figure out and get to the bottom of this season of the show or every season in the show. And so, yeah, the runner up has to stay on location, wherever that last location is, until the couple goes on themselves. Now, if they have contact with their family or not, they do. You know, the show is not evil.

You know, if you're broken up with, they want you to be able to lean on the people that you love the most. And so they do give you contact with your phone. Again, you have your phone, you have your computer, you have a TV for the first time and a long time. And you're able to get back in contact with the outside world. But it is true that the runner-up still has to stay on location for a while. Let me read you another one here real quick before we get into and we kind of move forward until this really exciting new season back there that I am stoked about. And then I can't wait to talk to you all about.

But let me read an email before that from Hannah. It's called The Final Rose Broke. First of all, I love this podcast, Hannah says. It is my go-to podcast to listen to you on my commute. As we all know, this episode was a train wreck. Hannah, we can all agree. The hype, unedited, never-before-seen, ending was unnecessary and should have been done in private. As much as I stand by my statement, America could not watch this actual dumpster fire unfold.

Truly, I could not look away. As my mom said during this episode and so many episodes prior, the man needs Jesus. We all need Jesus, Hannah. Come on. After Ari proposed, and he and Becca were basking in their happiness, Ari picked up and spins her around, unfortunately, damaging the rows in the process. The final rose literally broke. Tell me that is not some weird foreshattering done by God himself.

Honestly, I felt really underwhelmed with this season as a whole. Excited to see what comes out of the franchise next. Anyways, love the podcast. Love you both. Wishing you two. Blessings on Blessings. Hannah, thank you for the email. You make some great points.

The ones that I don't think a lot of people would disagree with. Actually, the popular opinion is that, yeah, this season was a train wreck. As most seasons, kind of are, I mean, we look back here in the last four seasons. You can go back to Nick's season, and you can kind of see the dramas unfold amongst that season, and the women kind of arguing amongst each other and the lack of friendships that existed. And then you see, you know, Nick kind of come out with Vanessa when sometimes the fan favorite was Raven, but, you know, Vanessa ends up standing victorious with Nick at the end, and people were criticizing Nick for not choosing Raven.

That happened. You go back to my season. I mean, you know, that crazy guy told him, and he loved him. And fell in love with one woman for the long haul, and Jojo ends up becoming one of the most popular and bachelorette of all time. We'll go back again to Caitlin's season. And we'll stop here, but, you know, Caitlin's season was one that had some of the most tremendous. experiences and events.

Let's remember, you know, the Snapchat reveal that Caitlin and Sean did. Also, you know, Nick coming on to the season halfway in and making it to the final two, that season was full of dramatic experiences. Caitlin said above approach the

whole time, but every season no matter how great or how boring or how not exciting the backdropra is, every season is a train wreck. We can all agree, it really just comes down to, is the season going to lead to love or is it not? And, and hopefully this season, you know, it did lead to love. No matter if we like it or not, how it played out, hopefully it leads to love.

And then I want to just talk to here for a second. Your second paragraph is very thoughtful. The final rose literally broke. Is that some foreshadowing done by God himself? You know, I did this experience personally because I believe it was the right decision for me. But I have a hard time that we can get a pastor on the phone here in a little bit, believing that God would intervene in this way during a show to foreshadow the final conclusion. If he did, great.

But you'd have a hard time, Hannah, convinced me of that. Either way, it was a little crazy. That is, as Becca picked the final rose, it broke. And she reached down to get it again. Unfortunately, at this point, Becca is now no longer with a. Rose, but we're going to move in talking about the fact that now Becca is our back threat and America is ecstatic. I don't know in my three years involved in this franchise that I've ever seen a response

like this one. I mean, I'm not kidding. I was tweeting during the first half of Afs the final rose. And I had more people retweeting, tweeting at me, commenting at me than I've ever had before. I think I had 25,000 likes on. on my Twitter. I usually get somewhere around like 500 to a thousand. And so it's very obvious to me that people are excited about this next season of

the Bachelorette. Becca is definitely going to be popular. She should be. I mean, she is classy. She is beautiful. She has a heart of gold, but she's a boss lady. We know going into the season that she's going to put her foot down, that she's going to make sure that she is on a pursuit that is her experience in her journey.

And she's not going to let any of these guys, no matter what their antics get in in the way of that, you know, over the last 24 hours, I've gotten a lot of comments on social media about me going back on this season, which is interesting to me. And also, you know, I kind of take it as a compliment because if the viewers and fans out there believe that I would be a good match, Rebecca, that is a huge compliment to me because she is really an incredible person. And from what I hear from all of her friends, what you see on TV isn't half of as great as she is outside of television, that her heart really is of gold, that she is classy,

And we saw that with this crazy breakup, this crazy scenario that came through over the last few episodes of this season. You know, one of the coolest parts and one of the biggest things that stood out to me during this last episode was there was this GoFumme page that was started up in honor of Becca so that she'd go get your drink. Well, it grew to 6,000 people. And Becca right away knew what she wanted to donate this to. She wanted to donate to stand up to cancer. Instead of taking this money for herself, which she could have done, the GoFumme page is on. under her name. She said, no, we're going to donate this to stand up the cancer. ABC and Chris Harrison matched it and then allowed me to be inspired, so inspired that generous coffees,

the company that I operate, we're donating all profits now for the next, really 24 hours to stand up the cancer, which was really led by Becca and ABC. And so I think there's no better way to start a season of basketball that we're all anticipating, they were all excited about than a little act of charity and try to get people involved in a little something bigger than themselves. I mean, if we're not watching the show, if we're not engaged in this show as fans to not only find the love story, but also that hopefully all these contestants can come back and use this new platform, this new given platform that they're literally handed to do something good with. I don't know what we're doing. And so I'm excited. I'm excited about The Bachelorette.

I'm not as thrilled about The Bachelors, and we'll continue to talk about that throughout the episode. We're going to bring Jason Messnick in in just a little bit. We're going to get his expert opinion on exactly what went down with this situation. Kind of hear his thoughts on how Ari could have done it better. I also want to hear from Jason, you know, what is it going to be like for Ari now moving forward with Lauren, you know, kind of being, for lack of a better word, their new relationship not being celebrated. Is it going to be difficult? What is his tips for Ari on how to get through it? What is this tip for maybe Lauren on how to support and get through this situation.

So we're going to bring Jason Messick on to the podcast here in a little bit. I'm ecstatic to hear from him. I mean, I don't think there's any better person to hear from when it comes to this scenario than Jason himself. But before we do that, we got to talk about one of our long-lasting, most popular, highest reviewed endorsers and supporters of this podcast, BioClarity. So here's the situation. BioClarity has literally been with almost famous podcasts in the beginning.

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All the way up to after the final road, I think Ashley and I've had a hard time connecting with this season. And last night really was no different. You know, I watched last night's episode kind of anticipated. some closure, maybe some answered questions. And really the only answer question I got was one from Ari that I was really hoping to get. And I don't know if any of you caught it out there. But Ari made a statement that I really believe he meant.

So the question was asked him, why did he do the breakup on camera? Something that America has been asking ever since we watched it on television. And people from all over Bachelor Nation, former bachelor contestants, massive journalism, massive newspapers, popular journalists, have all questioned, why in the world was this shown on camera? Why would Ari agree to this? I've asked that same question. And Ari said something last night that I believe he met that I can actually semi-relate with, and I want to talk about it a little bit.

Ari says, as he's talking to Becky, he goes, I did it on camera because I wanted to show the world that this was on me. So if that was his intentions, we can't question his intentions. We should believe that he is telling the truth because I don't know Ari personally. We've never really been able to talk other than on this podcast. Everybody I talked to that knows Ari, you know, other than the women on a season really like Ari. And we'll get into, you know, how the other women on the season feel in a second. I have my theories from that. So if Ari is going to say that, let's just assume that he's completely telling the truth.

the issue I have is that if he was going to put it on himself, his conversation with Becca didn't feel like it. You all agree? I mean, that's my biggest thing is we watched the breakup two nights ago. It just felt like Ari wasn't putting it on himself. I felt like he was putting on Becca, or he's putting it more on just his conflicted feelings. He wasn't saying, hey, this is on me.

I'm owning this. This is a really unfortunate situation. There was really no emotion showed. But Ari did ask the question that we've all been wondering, why in the world was this shown on camera, and he says that he believes that showing on camera would solidify that this was his fault, that this was his problem to deal with,

that this was his burden to carry. And, I mean, let's all be honest. During that breakup, there's two things that happen. Everybody turned against Ari, and everybody turned towards second. So if Ari's intention was to put this on himself, Maybe he did do this well. Maybe this did work. And maybe him doing this led us to now have Becca as going to the season probably the most love,

most cherished, most congratulated bachelor's that we've ever had. I think that no matter how this played out in the last few episodes, if it was weird or not, by already doing the break-up on camera, allowed us all to fall in love with Becca a little bit more and wish for her that this next season of Bachelorette is one that we can look back on and say it was a success story because I truly believe it will be. I think Becca's ready from everything I hear she's ready and I hear this from all of her friends.

I had the opportunity other night to spend some time with some of the women that were on REC's in The Bachelor and I typically don't get to do this, but they're all there for the first after the final rows and we were staying in the same hotels so we were able to talk a while. And it's always interesting to me to kind of hear

the perspective of the men and women that get off the season. Most of the time, I feel like these men and women that get off of this season really have a dislike towards the bachelor or bachelor's. And honestly, it's a little unfortunate because the one thing that happens during this show is that oftentimes there's heartbreak. There's really heartbreak for everybody except one person, and that's the person standing at the end. And in an R.E situation, everybody felt heartbreak at some point. And so let's break this down for a second.

You know, we watched it last night on after the final rows that, you know, these women were kind of, I had a distaste towards Ari. And I get that, right? I get it because they all have one thing in common. They've all been broken up with by Ari. Just like the guys during Rachel's season were all broken up with by Rachel. But I feel like, I feel like this season was a little different. Most seasons, there isn't this incredible angst towards the Bachelor of Bachelor of Bachelor.

But last night, we saw, I think it was five of Becca's friends sit up on stage and really celebrate her. but really not talk highly of Ari. And I'm wondering if there's more to that than just the fact that they got broken up with. I'm wondering if there is more to this season and their distaste that causes their distaste towards Ari than what we saw. But it happens every season. This isn't uncommon. The women on my season were all very angry with me, even some of my friends that I call friends today, some, you know, my closest friends, like secatility.

She'll tell you, yeah, there was a moment there where she was really upset with me. And I get that because you're getting. broken up with and relationships are ending. But let's keep this in the perspective that everybody, as I said earlier, is getting broken up with during this season except for one person, that the Baster and Bachelorette sometimes do not have an easy way to turn. That it would be great if everybody could end up happy, but it's just not going to happen. And so my request, what I would desire for any Bachelorette or Bachelorette from here in the

future is that they just do it with respect and dignity. And I, you know, I don't know if I did that or not. I guess that's up to you all. So again, please email us at Ben and Ackley at iHeartMedia.com. Let us know if you feel like Ari's breakups were done with dignity, if there is respect done with them, if you felt like he explained himself well enough. Because I remember going back, and this was one of the hardest parts about The Bachelor for me, is there was very few days that I didn't show it to tear.

Not because I have a big soft heart and I'm super sensitive, just because you get tired of hurting people all time. You feel like from day one to the very last day, all you do every day is you have to hurt somebody, you have to say goodbye to somebody, you have to tell somebody that they're no longer wanted there, and that hurts. You get really good at breaking up with people, and as a result, you get really bad at keeping a soft heart, and your heart can easily get hardened. And I think for all of us out there, as we're watching this season kind of come to an end, we have to remember that Ari is now starting to recover in an emotional place that he hasn't been in three months. He's finally able to be happy publicly. Let's think about that. For the first time in three months, Ari is able to be happy publicly.

He's now able to do that with Lauren by his side, and it felt like last night, and I think I tweeted this out, Lauren is there for the long haul. She's sitting next to her man, and she's saying, Ari, I've got your back. I know this was hard. I know you made a mistake, but I've got you. And I think he's looking at her hopefully saying, Lauren, I've got your back. I know this has been hard. I know I made a mistake, but I love you.

And I hope that is the thought process that he has going into the rest of their relationship is, I mean, what an incredible partner to have for Lauren to look at him last night and say, you know what, this is a really hard situation for him. And I'm just glad that he ended up with me in the end. I mean, I just felt this like unending, unnerving love and support that she was, you know, portraying last night and exuding in their relationship. And, I mean, if that's the case, if they can give that to each other, if already can give that back to Lawrence, I mean, this relationship is one that we might want to watch. It could be one that is a love story that kind of mirrors our good buddy Jason, who, as I said, will be on this podcast later.

So there's a lot of questions for Jason coming up. We're all excited to hear from. Actually, we'll be coming in the studio here pretty soon. But before we do, I want to kind of take these last few minutes here that I have all by myself. and just kind of hype up this next season in the back to wrap. We have a couple months to wait. They'll start filming this season here in the next week or so.

You know, we got to meet a couple of Beck's men last night. Some of them were impressive. You know, I think they're all pretty nervous. What a weird situation to be in where, you know, before you know, you're standing out on stage, on national television, on live television, and you're introducing yourself to what could be

your future wife. I felt like the guys did a fine job. They all seemed pretty confident. All of them seemed a little nervous. I thought the first guy with the accent, he stayed a little long. I started to get that awkward feeling like, okay, you can go now. But again, like, he has nothing to compare this to. Last night, and I got to talk to Dean about this before, Dean Ungler, who has a podcast with I Heart Radio as well, and it's a good buddy of mine, I talked to you a couple weeks

ago about, you know, what it was like to go out on stage. Because if you remember right, for Rachel's season, Dean was one of those original guys that went out on stage during after the final rose and introduced himself to her. And I asked him what it was like. And it literally happens like this. The producers, you know,

have already chosen you to be on the season. You're kind of in waiting to enter into the mansion or step out of the limo and introduce yourself. And they call you up and they say, hey, tonight, the Bachelorette is going to be at a live show. We want you to introduce yourself to her.

You know, we're going to come pick you up in a car, get your suit on, let's go. and so we have to give these guys some great last night. But what it did show is there's a couple guys there that, you know, I did think Becca was interested, or at least her friends were interested. We saw the reaction of all her friends, and they seemed thrilled about a couple of these guys. So throw off for the hot start. And I don't question that this whole season from here on out will be one that people will not only watch,

but really cheer for Becca. And we need that in Bachelor Nation. We need a season that we can really get behind, that we want to ride this journey. out with somebody from the start to the finish. We want to laugh at the very beginning of the season when people are doing outrageous and corky things. And we want to cry with them in the middle when their heart's broken and their hearts being pulled in a thousand different directions.

And we want to celebrate with them at the very end when hopefully a potential engagement happens or at least a love story exists. We need that vaccination because we haven't had it now for a few months. And I think that Beckett season will definitely, definitely bring that. I want to stop for a second and read an email, kind of calling out somebody that I would now call a friend. And so I want to approach this and speak to this email. It says the email is titled, not a fan of Caroline. It's from Ash, not Ashley Ikenetti, just Ash.

It says it's super unfortunate that you all had Caroline on. Seems like she's sucking Becca's pain from all it's worth by being the one in the know. You can even hear on Ben's Instagram story tonight. Some comment is made and someone goes to Caroline, what's going up? Your followers? Seems like she was disappointed. She got kicked off too soon and found a way to get back into the fold and got fortunate to be someone in the know. Even listening to this episode, she talked over all other women in the studio just to get more air time.

She even said in regards to the breakup footage, I kind of needed this. People are in my D-Ns. Like, be more selfish and self-serving. wreak the absolute egotistical mindset. Ari is terrible, but he called one thing accurately. These girls are just finishing their trials for Bachelor in Paradise. The desperation is palpable from here. Glad to Ashley and Ben still seem to stay above some of the juvenile desperation after being passed their newfound fame.

Ash. Well, Ash, I did just do Bachelor and Winner Games. So I can't completely say that I've gotten out of the Bachelor franchise, but I get what you're saying. And it's been said a lot, and I think there's been a few jokes made, is that this, you know, it seems like this show is turning into a constant trial to either be in Bachelor in Paradise or to be the next Bachelor of Bachelor. But what other option do you have? I mean, honestly, this world kind of sucks you up in it, right?

So if we start at the beginning of each season, everybody's on equal playing field. Everybody shows us the Mansion to date either the Bachelor of Bachelor at. Once you get kicked off, you know, you're excited to watch. The season. You're anxious to be on television. You're anxious to see your story unfold. And so you sit there with your family and your friends or I'll ask you about it and they're getting you hyped about it and you're excited about it. And before you know it, and this is the balance that everybody has to take. And I'll speak to this and my insight into this here in a second. But the balance everybody has to take is to not let this become your identity. But unfortunately, because of the excitement and because some people get overwhelmed, And because they're getting so much pressure from the outside world, the bachelor or bachelor ends up being the only thing you ever talk about, the only thing you ever think about. The only thing you really think has given you any type of excitement in life because it's such a new and weird experience that has shown you this new side of life.

You know, for me, it was my very first time ever out to L.A. was on the Bachelorette. So all of a sudden, I showed to L.A. and I spoke to a mansion and there's cameras. And then when I get kicked off, there's articles written about me and my family's asking me about it. And I'm going through not only a breakup at the time, but I'm also trying to process the fact that now people know me and weird small towns all across the U.S. And it becomes not only sobering because you realize how small the world really is,

but it also becomes almost euphoric in the sense of, wow, I've done something that people now recognize. So I get it. And we've got to give anybody, anybody the benefit of the doubt that does the show, but we have to also stand beside them and support them and keep them accountable the fact that if the Bachelor or Bachelorette is what you're known for, if that through your identity exists and you've made a great mistake, that anybody

out there that has done anything like the Bachelorette before, let's even break this down to your job, to your schoolwork. If your identity is in those things, then you need to take a step back. You need to realize that those things cannot be idols in your life. And I think, unfortunately, because of the world and the format that the Bachelor and Bachelorette presents to each contestant, it does become something that people don't or have a hard time leaving. And so let's go back to the email here and talk about Caroline for a second. I got to spend some time with Caroline over the last few days. And she was nothing but great to me. She was funny.

She was articulate. We laughed. We joked. She was open. And honestly, she talked very little about the show. What she talked about most was her excitement for Becca and also her sadness for Becca going through this breakup. She also talked about her sadness for Ari that she has a heart for Ari right now because she doesn't want him to feel alone, that she doesn't want him to suffer. But she's still upset.

I mean, her friend got broken up with. And so, of course, she's in the right to express that. You know, if one of my friends was hurt, I would hope that I would stand up for them and say, I don't like what happened. I don't think this is fair. But let's not assume that Caroline is doing this just for her own self-promotion. I think that's a far stretch. Actually, you know, we all know that Caroline could potentially be Ambassador in Paradise here soon. But it was my understanding that she doesn't, she hasn't even accepted it yet.

Or I don't even know if she's been asked. And so we can all, you know, it's easy to judge and it's easy to expect the worst that of each one of these contestants. but we can't do it. We're fans of the show. Let's not judge these contestants based on a few things they say on a live show, okay? Especially somebody like Caroline, who's friends with Becca. She came to our podcast, and I appreciate it.

I know Ashley appreciates it. She came in her podcast to talk about whatever was going on in that world. And I know for us, anytime anybody steps in to help us with our podcast, We want them to speak openly. We want them to speak comfortably. And that's exactly what she was doing. Did she talk over the woman? I mean, I don't know.

I think they're all pretty excited trying to get their voices out. But from here and out, when people come in and speak on our podcast, we know we've had our issues in the past and we've learned our lesson. We hope this is a place where you can kind of just take a deep breath, speak openly, speak honestly. And hey, if you're upset about something in the franchise, let's talk about it. Because honestly, that's what people want to hear anyways. That's what you want to hear, Ash, I know it. And thank you for listening. Ashley and I really do enjoy any email that comes through.

Speaking of things we enjoy, we really enjoy Blue Apron. I've talked about before my mom is a big fan of Blue Apron. My mom is a great cook. She's cooked my whole life. We used to have family dinners together every evening. And when she heard about Blue Apron on this podcast, she was a little hesitant to jump in. She was a little cautious because this whole, you know, planned meal idea just doesn't seem natural. It doesn't seem traditional.

But after my mom and actually myself received our first box of Blue Apron, we were all sold. And I think you would be as well, it not only speeds up the cooking process that allows you not to have to go to the grocery, but it provides you with the highest quality, healthiest meals directly to your door. Let me tell you about Blue Apron. Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service. the country. Blue Apron's mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone. Blue Apron achieves this by supporting a more sustainable food system, set in the highest standards for ingredients and building community of home chefs.

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Featured upcoming meals for you from Blue Apron is quick Bucatini with broccoli and pecorino cheese, pan-fried chicken breast with sweet and tangy zucchini, Italian-style shrimp, and sweet peppers over Fregola, sarda pasta, parmesan-crested steaks with mashed potatoes and broccoli. Blue Apron is a leading meal kit delivery service in the U.S. And while many people know what we do, many don't know about the types of meals you eat when you cook with Blue Apron. So I want to tell you about the call to action. If you aren't sold yet, you should be our first two sponsors here are some of our favorites. Actually, this whole episode is full of amazing sponsors, just like every one of our episodes.

But here's a call to action to get Blue Apron. Blue Apron is treating almost famous listeners to $30 off your first order if you visit. It's blueapron.com, backslash, almost famous. So check out this week's menu and get $30 off at blue apron.com slash almost famous blue apron. A better way to cook. Hey, Ben, guess what? I've just been listening to you for the past 10 to 15 minutes. Relishing in your voice.

Ben, you could talk to yourself so long, but I know you're talking to an audience, but it's, like, incredible how you can just talk to an audience so naturally. when they're not in front of you in reality. It's amazing. I applaud you. I talk to myself often, so it kind of correlates back to the podcast. Are you one of the guys that talks out loud to himself around the house? Oh, yeah.

I'm an only child, actually. I live alone. I drive in my car all the time. I talk to myself often. I have great conversations. I've actually prepped for this podcast now for the last few days because I walk in my house, like, Ari, what in the heck were you thinking? And then I was saying, it's hard.

That is so funny. It's so cute. You're so good. And I think you need to get into the ministry. Like, you need to do sermons. You really could have your own podcast where you just talk about virtue all day. And I would be encouraged to be a better person. Just by listening to you talk to yourself.

Oh, Ashley, you're the sweetest. You always have been. It's good to have you in studio. I know today's been a crazy day for you following up. I started the podcast by letting everybody know that you've done press and you've answered a thousand questions about. this season of The Bachelor in the last two episodes. And so thanks for coming in because I know you're probably tired.

And you're also probably tired of talking about The Bachelor. But I got good news for you today is the last episode of The Bachelor. Yeah, I'm sure I did. And then from here on out, for every episode coming up from this week forward, you and I are going to open up some of our favorite segments again. Like, who the heck are you? We're going to talk about our dating lives. We're going to talk about love lives outside of the Bachelor franchise.

Are you going to be awesome? Are you going to be honest about your love life outside? Yeah, I'll be as honest as I want to be, Ashley. Well, I'm going to put you on the spot starting next week because I'm getting a lot of tweets about how people were so excited when you asked CN that you were talking to CN about like, you know, how you're going to do her season of The Bachelorette. And then you, politician you, just knew how to swerve around

and not answer that question directly. But to get everybody's heart beating. Yeah, I'm good at that. good on it. Maybe one day I'll open up an honesty, but hey, thanks for stopping in. I'm going to hand this off to you because I have a generous coffee and humanitarian hope event that I have to go speak at. I'm a few minutes late already. I got to run. I'm in Cincinnati, Ohio right now. I got to go speak because Generous is blowing up after last night's episode of The Bachelor. When Becca said that she would donate to stand up to cancer, I said Generous would as well. Now, Katie Couric has

retweeted about Generous and Katie Curick bought 50 bags of generous coffee. today. Ben, holy freaking moly. That is amazing. It's huge. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. And so now I have to go speak at this event and try to raise a little money for some

communities around the world and sell some generous coffee who are at it. So I apologize, Ashley. But it's now your time. Not only talk to our good buddy, Jason Mednick, but also yourself for a little bit. You do that? Yeah. Maybe. I'm going to try.

I wrote notes and I think it's going to take me about 30 seconds. All right, sounds good. Hey, everybody there, all of our listeners, again, email us at Ben and Ashley. I heartmedia.com. Ashley, I love you. Happy birthday yesterday. You're one of the best people I know, and we'll talk soon. Thanks.

Love you, bye. All right, so we have a couple minutes before Jason's on the phone. So, because I'm sure you guys are all dying to know what I felt about last night, I will let you in on this. Everybody is villainizing Ari. I'm tired of villainizing Ari. He made a lot of mistakes, but we can't harp on it forever. This may be exactly what Ben had said before I walked into the studio. So I'm sorry if it is.

I think it's funny because I think people expect that the Bachelor love stories need to be the most idealized love stories. But they are, they can be as messed up as our own real life love stories. Nothing goes smoothly. Their hearts are always broken. As Jamie Sullivan once said, if there wasn't something, suffering, would there be any compassion? And I feel like heartbreak makes us stronger. It gets us to know ourselves better and betters ourselves for our future relationships down the line. So, you know, Ari messed up and his love story is not traditional, but let's like let them live because they seem

really, really happy. And yeah, it wasn't our chick flick. We didn't get that this season, unfortunately. Maybe Becca will deliver something that makes our hearts pound in like getting but let's just leave them alone because it's just love isn't always pretty but we'll just see what happens we'll just see what happens yeah and i think that's what they want all they're asking for is like give them a chance and i can't wait to talk to to meznik because that's a beautiful um role model for them to have eight years of marriage two kids do we think mesnick handled it better or worse um i never saw mesnick season oh my god that was the first season that was the last season I didn't watch.

So I started watching Allie's season run after his. So the. Oh, no, no, that was Jay. Oh, wait, no, that was, what's his name? Oh, the pilot. Oh, Jake Pavelka. Jake, yeah.

So I started watching a year and a half after, after Mesnick. The shocking thing, and I rewatched it recently about Mesnick, is that he, I think Melissa had some clue that he was going to end things with her on the after the final rose. But I don't think Molly had any idea

that he was doing that. and that he was going to say, I want another chance with you. Okay, so you're saying the difference is that Molly didn't, oh, yeah, so the difference is that... I mean, it's equally kind of terrible. No, it's not. It's not because Meznik didn't feel anything for Melissa anymore.

And he was willing to end that relationship, even if he thought that Molly wasn't going to be down. Correct. I would say that that is a fair statement you could ask him about that. Yeah. because he hadn't like pursued Molly. He really didn't know if she was going to say yes or no. And the genuine sort of like shock on her face.

Yeah. Of I'm on camera. I don't know what to do here. I've wanted this to happen because I love this dude, but what is happening? Like it was very different. Yes. Than this.

Okay. In the same sort of situation. But in the same way both women are going to have to deal with their potential husband. having picked another woman over them at some point in their lives. But everybody has to deal with that, really, in life. That's true, except for some time, but usually you don't know them. Unless you're like high school sweethearts who've never dated anyone else, you've probably got a past, and so do they.

That's probably, probably true. They just didn't break up with you on camera, and they weren't dating you at the same time. Although I'm sure there's people out there who are dating two people at the same time. They go with one, and then they're like, wait a minute. And then they switch. I bet you there's real-life people. I bet you there are plenty of real-life people.

So that's something you guys should think about. And also just, like, think about all the marriages that come from friendships. And it's like, that person was in your life for so long. But you were probably dating people before you realize that that was your person. So it's kind of the same. I don't know. It's kind of the same thing. But it kind of is.

And then Ari sort of. He really kind of blew it at the same time. I think he seemed really nice yesterday. I have no problem with him whatsoever. I mean, he's cool because if you really break it down, he was engaged, he was about to get engaged to one of them. It could have gone either way. Had he just picked Lauren and been on his merry way,

we'd all be bored and fine. Yeah. So it's like. So thank Ari for giving you a little excitement over the past two days. Right. Well, we got where we were going to go anyway. Yeah. Interesting question I just came about with.

I have no idea. I wonder if like during that final two If he would have said to Becca Would you rather be The Bachelorette Or would you rather me propose to you? I bet you she would have said I'd rather you propose to me I think so too Yeah

I don't know that I'm sure I'm sure I don't know it takes me a lot longer to get over things Years in fact so for her to sort of snap back so quick It takes me forever too But I will say I can I never really get over something until the next thing shows up. Absolutely. I don't think I ever get over a guy

until I find a new one. I mean, you do and say you can live life, but you don't. And you're kind of ready. Yeah, but you still are dayduring about the last guy. Or you don't fully close the book or you also don't realize

how terrible they were. Because I didn't realize how terrible someone was that I was dating until I dated someone amazing. Ari and Lauren said during press today that they do want to get married on TV

if the opportunity is there. Oh, my God. You know, that's sort of a lot. I don't think that they're going to be one of ABC's most sought after couples to get married. I mean, pretty sure they want Jojo to get married on TV. I don't know if they're going to care

about Ari and Lauren getting married on TV. What is the word for that? Audacious? Is that the word? You know, the question was probably would you get married on TV if ABC offered it to you? And they said yes.

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What would I get Lauren? Oh, well, I heard that they love Yotsie, the game. Yotsie? Yes. So So apparently on Monday night, they didn't watch the finale, which is understandable. But instead, they played a quiet game of Yatzi. So board games for the lovely boring couple. I'm sure you could get that on Zola. So to sign up with Zola and receive a $50 credit towards your registry, go to Zola.com slash almost famous. That is zola.com slash almost famous.

and a $50 credit toward your registry, zola.com, almost famous. I'm going to go get my gifts for them there. That's awesome. All right, well, it sounds like Jason Messnick, the predecessor to Ari, is right now on the line. Jason. What's going on? Hey, Jason, I met you briefly at Jaden Tanner's wedding.

Didn't watch your season, so pardon me if I'm a little uneducated. Amy will fill in my gaps. I was trying to sort of explain the difference in the way you handled it and in the way he handled it. How do you sort of sum that up? Well, we all know that Jason is very emotional. Hence the other mezznick. You have coined two things now in the franchise. There's the mesnick you crying over the balcony.

And now there is the mezzanik, which is the switcheroo. Yeah, well, hopefully that's the Ari now. You could take that. I'm off the fuck. Would you rather, of course, the sobbing? Yeah, it's fine. Everyone loves a man in touch. Making somebody, you know, feel terrible on national TV, yes.

All right. So talk about how you feel like you handled the situation differently. You know, to be honest, I don't know if I think I really did. Because when I think about what happened, one, you know, and I read something Ari did this morning, is that he was trying to give Becca the opportunity to be the Bachelorette. And that doesn't just come from his mind. And what I mean by that is they said the same thing to me. So I'd call the producers, you know, this is like 55 years ago when I did it.

So I called the producer and I said, hey, you know, so Melissa and I aren't working out. Can I, you know, have a shot with Molly? Because I'm just really curious. And they said, hey, so yes, but we've asked Molly to be the bachelorette. So there's two conditions. One, you need to do this on TV because otherwise Molly's going to go forward and be the bachelorette. And, two, we need Melissa, so the other girl, to be the Bachelorette, and we need her to be emotional. So the audience falls in love with her, and everybody's heart goes out to her.

So when I think about, you know, I think the difference is how the producers in ABC decided to air it, right? So mine was, like, I think they had learned a little bit, but they also wanted everybody to feel for Becca so they could put her on, you know, I don't know, the pedestal, but like the place she, in some sense, they wanted her, so the audience falls in love with her, and they come back next season even stronger than before as a viewership, right? And that's what they were trying to do with Melissa, too, but, you know, Melissa already had somebody else in her life, so she didn't want to do it. Okay, right. So, I don't, like, to be honest, I don't know how different it is.

I mean, I understand the appearance is different, and maybe the words conveyed are different. Were you not, I felt like you ended with Melissa before you. sort of told Molly, whereas I feel like he was dabbling with Lauren, feeling it out. Yeah, there's probably a piece of that. Like, Melissa and I both had known that it was over. Oh, okay. And the TV, yeah, I mean, we had talked about that. But, I mean, the way that it was portrayed, I think the only difference, like, I mean,

viewers might see it differently, if they remember who I am. But, I mean, I think the view is like, hey, we did ours on set, a close set, because it hadn't happened before. and this one was, you know, in wherever house that they were flown into and their getaway weekend. So what you were saying about us needing to fall in love with Becca is something that I've been kind of spewing out all week long. That's, in my opinion, why they showed the entire breakup the way they did. 100%. I want to know why you and apparently Ari went to production with this dilemma that you were having.

You're like, this isn't going to last. what do you guys suggest me do? And I just feel like sometimes production would be the last person I'd go to because the last people I'd go to because sometimes I would wonder if they were putting their interest before mine. 100%.

So I think going back to it and like I was actually writing some notes on the plane just kind of thinking about how my experience was different or similar to Harreys. And I mean, like when I think about my experience there are two times that I knew not to go to production

and not talk, talk about it with anybody. And that was one of the two times. But you know, and like it actually is a little bit. But until you go through and be like the bachelor, Bachelorette, they are asking you for help, right? They're asking you to go on dates with people that you don't want to go on dates with. They're asking you to hold hands of people that you want to go on cold hands with. Because realistically, if you walk, let me just ask you this. If you walk into a bar and there are 25 guys in that point.

How many do you think you would be in a relationship with? Honestly, two at best. Zero. At very, very best, but most likely zero. Okay, so it's somewhere between zero and two. So I would say the same thing with anybody who's the bachelor and bachelor at. It would be between zero and I give it three. So somewhere between zero and three.

So within the first week, right, when you're putting this position, within the first week, you know your top two or three. Yeah. And the rest is just, hey, you know, we've got to make a TV show. And realistically, ABC is paying the producers $2 million every week to make a show. And so you can't do that. There's no way you can do that. And so the producers are, and they have to be, sometimes they're pretending to be your friends. Sometimes they are your friends.

But the one thing they're doing is trying to build trust. And so when you go through that whole experience, you're not supposed to say they tell you not to talk to anybody. Like you sign this giant contract, there's a heck. out of you, right? Right. And the bottom line is you feel like the only people you can talk to are the producers because they're calling you. They're pretending to check in with you throughout this whole experience after you finish

filming. So in the real world, you're right. You shouldn't call the producers. But in this bubble world, they're the only people that you've ever talked to about all this stuff. So they're the only people that you feel understand. What's so funny is that here I am, like, question. this for you, but then when I think about my own relationships that started out on the show but now have developed off the show throughout the past two years, two, three years, I always go to them. They're always the ones that I feel like venting to the most. I don't think anybody else until, I mean, you probably understand it. Just like, I remember as a cast member on the, I mean, forever gone, the Bachelorette, I remember staying up super late every single night going, okay, what do you guys with the producer? What are you guys trying to do? What do you guys trying to get us to say? Like,

And they would kind of dig in with me saying, hey, what do you know about this guy? This guy has a girlfriend back at home. So everybody's kind of digging in with each other. But at the end of the day, their job is to befriend, befriend you. Who was your girl? I can't even remember. Who was The Bachelorette when you were on it? Marilyn Monroe.

Deanna Pappas. Oh. So funny. Who's a total twist to me because she married a bachelor guy. brother. Oh, yeah. So weird. Yeah. So weird. But that's... I mean, I don't think anybody really, like, I mean, I'm not going to make excuses for Ari and I, but like until you're in there and like everybody, I mean, everybody is going to, a producer's going to want this to happen, right? Because everybody's talking about it on every news outlet. So they want the conflicted guy or girl to be

confused and do this on TV. It's great for the show. Right. Of course. It's by a hundred times is great for the show. Well. So the problem is we trust them too much. We do trust them, but they are, they did become our best friends. And in my case, they've continued to be my best friends off camera as well. Yeah. I don't want to like, I don't want to like say, oh, why would you go to productions because

they have the bad intentions in mine. I am very trusting, but I have found in my own personal experiences that while you may have a bad episode or a bad scene or two, because they, they do truly want to get you the best in the long run with every decision that you make with them. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I know, like, talking to him just even last night, like, I was texting with them before I went on and after I got off and they're like, trust me, we got this handled.

Like, we're working on it. We want it to be the best. We want everybody to be happy. And I think in some ways, you know, I think outside, I wish I already didn't propose, but. Really? Yeah. Tell us. Tell us why you would have rather.

Well, I think at some point, like, he's already done enough and, like, you could do that, like, away. Right. Yeah. Like, that was just my opinion. Everybody else could think whatever they want. I mean, I would have just said, like after with Molly and I, like, you know, we wanted to take, we took almost a year before we got engaged. Right. Which is, you know, which is not a long time in, for some people, but for us it felt like it. Did Neil Lane still give you a ring? No.

Well, no, not. So no when I proposed, but for our five year anniversary, he helped us out, yeah. I got an interesting tidbit here Yesterday they taped Jimmy Kimmel before they taped after the final rose and Lauren was wearing her engagement ring Oh really? He basically had already told her What? Are you sure?

Yeah. Because he was leaving So was a fake engagement? He was going straight to Jimmy Kimmel after we filmed. Oh, really? Are you sure? It would be hard for me to be that good of an actress too. I thought they, I don't know.

Maybe you're right. He's, he, I mean, he had a bug out of there last night pretty quick because he was going to Jimmy Kimmel. Okay. Okay. Maybe I'm totally wrong. I don't want to, like, start something. Bring up the elephant in the room. And I'm sure, Jason, you've thought about this a thousand million, vigilion times.

But why didn't you just propose to Molly on the finale? Well, I mean, that, so I was not going to pick Molly. I know, but why? Because you picked her, but you did. But really. and you're like inner soul you did. Ari and I talked about this. So the similarities between Lauren and Molly are that when we film,

when I film with Molly and I already kind of agreed the same thing with Lauren is, they were really, they weren't people that were super comfortable on camera that couldn't open up just in it, some of it's on camera stuff, but it's also just their personality. You know, you can't expect everybody to be super comfortable on camera. They can't expect everybody to be gushing about. how much they care about somebody. Because I remember on one of my days with Molly, you know, nine years ago now, I remember it was

the one thing. We walked away. We were on our exotic stuff. And I was like, I don't even know if she likes me. And the producers would be like, hey, you know, don't worry, you know, she really does. And they would go to Molly and say, hey, Molly, you got to open up more because Jason was not sure of it that you like him even. And the truth was she was just having, she just, one, she wasn't sure she wanted to get engaged,

but two, she was the type of person that. had trouble opening up. And I think Warren's the same way. So, I mean, I was writing this down, you know, on the plane. And, like, you know, Melissa was the type of person on my season that I always thought I would marry. And then after two months of, you know, dating her, it just wasn't the right fit for either of us. That's what I wanted to know more about maybe, like, because your experience could be a reflection of RAs. When did you start feeling like, oh, wow, this is probably not my wife once you exited the Bachelor bubble?

I mean, because we, I couldn't tell you, I mean, it's, granted, go back, it's nine years ago, more than nine years ago. So we dated, I think, you know, six, seven, eight weeks afterward. And we would do those kind of, you know, getaways. And I think, you know, I think part of it is that, like, I, like, I just, after that whole experience, I didn't love her. And after, you know, and I also take a step back as well as, I think when you look at that experience, experience, you're probably, you probably spend a total of 40 hours, but the person you end up proposing to. So that's really, you know, in the real world, that's like, I really want to get to know you better. That's what the show is.

It's pretty incredible with 40 hours, how many married couples there actually are. Yeah. Well, I mean, it works for stuff. Like in the real world, it works for some people to, you know, love it for sight and for some people it doesn't. I do think it's still very fascinating There hasn't been one divorce That is super fascinating It boggles in my mind

Like what? There aren't How many marriages are there? I can write it down But I think it's like I think it's seven Seven Seven marriages

Yeah I like to count Sean and Caitlin is married too I think there's like seven Yeah I mean It's interesting Because Yeah

People do get married For a long time I mean, for a long time, it was just Trista, and then we were, in our own way, second. And that was after, there was essentially one after up until my season, which was one out of, you know, whatever, 15 or 16 or 17. There's two things that are really interesting about you, Jason. One is that essentially it did work because you did meet your wife on this crazy bananas show. Is it annoying when people say that Sean is the only, quote,

successful bachelor? No, I don't care if you know. I mean... Right, he did meet his wife on the show. Yeah. It's just in the bubble. In the bubble, I feel like it messed with your brain. Oh, yeah.

I mean, that's the whole thing is like I, you know, and I've said this a gazillion times that like I never, at the end of my season, I didn't pick Molly, but I didn't want to propose to either of them. Oh. So why did you? And I told, exactly. So, I mean, I was writing this down.

And like I've said this a million times, I had called her parents who never, Melissa's parents, who never wanted to be on the show. And I called them up, this is maybe, I think it was a day or two before proposal. And I just said, hey, like, I've never got to meet you guys. You know, I'm a single dad. And I just, like, I'm going to pick your daughter, but I don't want to, I can't propose to her. And we were all on the same page. And they're like, okay, I get it.

I respect it. And we left it at that. So I go back to my room, and literally a few hours later, one of the producers comes into my room and says, hey, like, listen, I know you're on a lot of stress. I called Melissa's parents back, and we told them that you're on to this stress, but you do want to propose. And I was like, what? What? Like, you can't do that. But then slowly over, you know, I don't know if it was a day or two days, you know, everybody comes through and says, don't you want to give her.

this moment. She's the most amazing girl that you've ever met. You will marry a whole day. There's a hundred different ways that a hundred different people who work on the show come through. And at the end of it, you know, dumb guys like, oh, I must be an idiot. America's going to hate you if you don't. Yeah. It's just a bunch of different things. And the owners, like people, like, people, producers, owner is the owner of the show, basically says that's not the way this works, right? Isn't that funny that people would rather see a person get engaged and then the couple break up than just them saying, hey, let's date in real life

and then eventually end up together? Yes and no. I mean, like the breakup is a new story. The proposals, the TV action, the millions of people are watching. Right. So they just want to, they want to capture the audience of people who are, like, I get it.

Like, I've been through it enough times. So for me, I, like, that was the biggest thing. Like, in my gut, I knew I shouldn't have proposed to either of them. and I did and that's what got me into it I think Ari was trying to say that same thing it was like I should have proposed to you I don't know if he's saying he should propose to Warren but like realistically some people aren't cut out

to propose to somebody after two months and I was one of them this is so informative I think people are going to be really happy with all this knowledge from you I wonder how many other bachelors have felt forced into proposing when they didn't feel like it was right and I'd rather

yeah that's a good question I don't know I'd rather watch Ari's season and Jason's season because as a viewer, if I'm putting real human feelings aside, Jason's after the final rose was one of the best things I've ever seen. I mean, I've rewatched it on YouTube. The only thing that is better is Vienna and Jake Pavelka's breakup. We talk about this all the time as the juiciest moment in bachelor's history. When in a bad mood or feeling bad about yourself, simply YouTube that.

And you will, that is so good. But yours was pretty juicy because Molly's sort of shock is one of the greatest things I've ever seen. Like, she just did not know what to do with the information you were giving. What made you say I want to give Molly another chance? Because you seemed like a little bit unsure of her during in the Bachelor bubble. So what was like, I'm going to go back and try that girl again. So part, okay, so that's a good question. So Melissa was, like, I could never say in my entire life anything bad.

about it. She was sweet. She was caring. She was beautiful. She was good with my son, you know, just for a day where she met him. So there's all these good things. But then when we got off camera, there was not the, just the chemistry that you want in a marriage, right? So with Molly. So with Molly, there was just curiosity. And I knew that there was nobody else from the show that I was interested in dating. But Molly was the only one. So when I talked to the producers, they said, okay, yes, but she's going to be the Bachelorette unless you do. something now so the only I mean really realistically the only reason that all that happened was she would have sort of filming a week later then it would have been I would not have ever had that opportunity wow she would start filming the Bachelorette so the reason why I was so condensed like that was like okay if I'm gonna do this I've got to do it when they say the cameras are ready otherwise you know they kind of hold your I don't know how real it is your contract over your head which is a massive you know I know you work with

Brian Seacraft, like, I don't have that kind of money. You know, I live in a, in a regular, like, I was living in a tiny little rambler trying to make ends meet to pay the mortgage for my son or not. No, I get it. These are big life things that you kind of have to factor in, even though the audience doesn't know that. Yeah, it's just until you, being on the bat, being a cast member, one of the 25, is easy.

I mean, you go, like, either A, you become friends with a lot of the girls or the guys, and you go on date sometimes, you hang out with people, you drink, you get free meals, you have to travel a little bit. It's like there's no worry. When you become the bachelor or bachelor's, they ask you, as it goes along, be part of the production. And that means being nice to people on dates, being asking yourself and getting forced into doing things that you don't. don't want to do because it's a TV show. Is it possible to stand up to every producer and say, no, I'm not going to do that.

That's the wrong thing to do. It's 100% possible to do that retrospectively. But when you're there, you don't know that. You know, like, for example, I know Molly, Molly tells a story all the time. Like, one of the dates she went on with me, they wanted her to, oh, it was a talent competition. And they said, you need to tell Jason your secret talent is kissing. And she's like, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Is kissing?

I'm not going to tell Jason my secret. Because it's not true. That's stupid, right? And they said, well, it's fine. If you don't do that, then he's not going to pick you. I'm going to send you out. He's going to send you off. Is that true?

Who knows? But when you're on the show, you believe that stuff. Right, right, right. That's pretty large. I've never heard anything said like that before. What's that? I've never heard somebody ever say that before. They just do a little bit of mind melding.

A little mine, maybe not so, like, verbal. I've got a gazillion stories. And I don't, like, in some sense, I get it. Like, they're making a TV show, right? Like, I've seen. Right, that's like, everybody was so upset that the cameras were there for the breakup. But if you remove feelings and your production, of course you're going to have cameras there. Like, that was the greatest thing I've ever seen.

So nobody is going to say, no, no, we shouldn't bring cameras. Like, of course we should bring cameras. and a million, million, million, million, million, million, million, people watched it. Right. And if you didn't, if they didn't do it, they would be like, well, what happened? How come, like, what, like, are you serious? Like, now he's together with Lauren, whatever, what happened?

Right. You're fired if you have the camera. Ari did say that he did it because he knew he was going to have to answer those questions eventually, and as might as well just have it on the record for everyone. Well, I agree in some respect, but I think Ari is also deep under contract with them, right? So I'm way beyond, like, I'm, like, the contract. Clearly. Yeah, they didn't even have, right, they didn't have paper back then.

Yeah, clearly. Everything you're saying is making me very nervous. It's fine, because they still like you, so you're fine. Well, I mean, all this stuff has been said before. I think people may listen now more just because, you know, people are asking me questions again. But I'm not, like, I'm not saying anything that I've never said before. I do think what's interesting that you're saying that I'd love to know if you asked Ari because people always say it is easy being one of the 25 and really a lot of work to be

the lead as they call it. I think Ari went into it thinking this is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. And if you asked him now, it's probably like, not the greatest thing that ever happened. I remember before I did The Bachelor, I wanted to talk to a couple guys that had done it. And I talked to a couple guys and they both did the same thing. They said, we're going to tell you not to do it, but you're going to do it anyways. Who did you ask? I talked to Brad Womack. Who did it again after

you? After telling you that? Yeah, he goes and does it again. And who was the other one? And who's the other guy right before me? The British, there's a British guy. Oh, like one of those that nobody watched. Yeah, I mean...

Matt Grant. Remember that? I don't love this. Okay. Yeah. That's it was. And I said the same thing. Like, Jake Valka called me, and I said, listen, I'm going to tell you not to do it. I remember talking to Gillian and Allie. Like, I talked to all the people before they do it. And I said it, I said the same thing. It's so hard. I said the same thing to Becca last night. I'm like, it's so hard.

And you'll get it. Like, all, you'll get it in three months, how hard it really is. Right. Oh, my gosh. I don't know. I don't think anybody could ever say, I, of course, I'd want to be The Bachelor if they were to ask me and I'm a single. Yeah. But if you were to be like, but if you really were to lay it out like this, hey, would you like to go on a date with somebody for every day for the next two months? I'd be like, oh, my God, that sounds like hell.

I wouldn't do it if you offered me a hundred million dollars. Shut up. No way. I would literally have to be hospitalized in some form of special place because I could not mentally handle it. Think about like not only are you going on dates every single day for two months, but also when you're not on a date or in between dates, you're talking about your feelings

and you're constantly talking, talking, talking, please give me a couch and some takeout so I can just veg out. You lose me at, we take your phone away. I'm out. No, that's still awesome. I still love that. It was very different when I did it

because, like, you know, I think iPhones had just come out. Yeah. It's like, can I take your Blackberry, please? Yeah. That, like, it just crawls when you try to get on the internet. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I have one more question before we leave. Actually, I have two. One is an unanswered question from before. You said that Melissa already had a guy, and that's why she wasn't going to be the Bachelorette. Uh-huh. So she, like, had a guy from before the show. The dude, she married.

She has like a hundred kids of them. She knew him. She knew him beforehand? They dated beforehand. Okay. A lot of the girls, I find, go back to the guy from before. Yeah, I know. I've seen that.

And then they marry them. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know. It's fine. Like, I didn't know any of that, but it was the right, obviously the right thing for her to do. Mm-hmm. And then second question is, um, did Ari ever reach out to you, like, personally because the situations are so similar? Or was it like production who said, hey, help him?

Like, I, I had found out about it, I don't know. It was sometime in January. Mm-hmm. And I remember reaching out to him and like not hearing back for a little while. and finally text would be like, I'll get a hold of you as soon. You never did. You know what's funny is that... I think part of that is because the production is saying

if Jason reaches out, do you just don't talk to? Right. You know why? Because we're going to have a conversation with them later on camera. Okay. Okay. So what I was going to say was interesting because back in your day, you couldn't slide into her DMs and do it privately.

You would have to find her number and production would never give you her number. Yeah. And when they scare the crap out of you. Yeah. there's no way to see really yeah there was i mean i've joked around about this like back then twitter it just started nobody was using twitter and my space was bigger than facebook like right what happened to you know facebook was just this kind of new thing you know it's been around a couple years but my space was king back then that's really funny all right well jason this is so informative

very interesting yes people are going to love this well and you're not And you're kind of like, hey, give Ari a break. You know, I think people are starting to sort of be like, give this dude a break. I mean, you guys, I was like over and over again, he shouldn't have felt like he should have figured out a way to not film and I would have told him that, but he would have listened to producers anyways. Yeah. The audio would have would have been confused.

And I would say for somebody, if he's that confused, he's an emotional guy. Maybe he didn't show his emotions like that as much as people would have liked. Yeah. But it takes a lot of balls to go and know that you're going to get crushed like he is and still go through with it. He's handled it pretty well. And I've been texting him today. He seems good. Yeah.

When I asked him about three weeks ago at Women Talal, I go, are you dreading after the final rose? Are you looking forward to it? He was like, I'm honestly looking forward to it so I can just breathe fresh air afterward. All right, Jason, we love you. You're great. Thank you so much. You're welcome, guys. I can't wait until someone pulls a meznik again.

Yeah, tell them to go to if they need to buy a house in Seattle. Call me. Oh, we will. Tell them right now. Oh, yeah. Hey, anybody looking to buy a house, sell a house in Seattle. I'm your guy. I work my butt off.

I even pressure wash myself. I have houses where Molly's taking pictures. They'll come by and I'm pressure wash somebody's driveway. I built a headboard for somebody's bed before staging their house. I do all sorts of stuff. Oh, my God. Full service. Yeah.

Google Jason Meznik. Yeah, Jason Meznik. Jason Mesnick Group. All right. Well, thanks, Jason. We'll talk to you soon. Bye. Okay, see you guys.

All right, guys. Well, after this Bachelor finale week, I need some sleep like I've never had sleep before. I'm going to hibernate for the next three days. And I'm going to do it on a sleep number. I love my sleep number bed. My sleep number setting is 70. And I love it because I can adjust it for those days that I feel like, just sinking into bed or the days that my back needs a little bit of support, it adjusts each

side of the bed, or you can adjust it the entire bed whenever you want. It's so comfortable. You can actually feel how it contours your neck, shoulders, back, and hips for a more proper spinal alignment. And the new sleep number beds, they are smart. They sense your every move. I love that. That's my favorite part. And it automatically adjust to keep you sleeping comfortably. There's even an adjustment for snoring. Does your bed do that? Sleep number queen mattresses start at only $999.99. Right now during the spring clearance event, you can save up to $600 on their most popular beds. There are more than 550 sleep number stores in America. Visit sleep number.com to find the stores near you. And if you mention the almost famous podcast, you can get up to $600 in

savings. They really is the most comfortable. bed. I know. I could sleep all day and right now. I know. Do you do most of your work from your sleep number? I do all my work from my sleep number. So I take conference calls. I'm a laptop. I do emails. All day long people think I'm working in an office and I'm working in my sleep number. See, I'm a couch. I'm a couch worker, but if I, you know, but I should move over to the bedroom. So here's a little thing I will say. When I used to work at a desk, I got horrible backache. And now that I work from my sleep number bed, I don't get them anymore. Because it's like, really. It's comfortable and you sit up and you're on your laptop

and I don't have the same backache headaches that I used to get, neck aches. So it's worth it. Wow. Okay. All right. Well, you guys, you heard from Amy. I tell the truth. You know.

All right. I want to talk about some emails. Do a couple ones that are off topic of The Bachelor because I need a break. I'm going to be honest. I'm losing it. If you guys haven't been able to tell, I don't feel like I've been at my finest game today. I think it's just like a little bit of overkill right now I think I'm going to be burning out

We had a lot of Bachelor, a lot of winter games Now we're going to have some fun until I know that's when we get to talk about like relationships And that makes me happy This I love this email And we'll keep everybody informed on what all the Bachelor people are doing Yeah okay so I love this email The topic is how do you know they're the one

This is from Kelly Hi Ashley I'm Ben I am reeling from the finale And I can't wait for after the final rose It's a couple days old I wanted to comment on the question of how do you know when you're with the right person? I am someone who has been in a successful relationship for the past three years of my life, and I am constantly mulling over this question.

Hmm. Long story short, you know when you're with the right person if they bring out the parts of you that you want to emphasize in yourself. I genuinely believe that a human can love more than one person. We open our hearts to endless friends, and I believe it is possible to open your heart to loving more than one person. person. Different soulmates bring out different parts of yourself. And to choose to be with a person is to choose to be with the part of yourself that you like to be with the very most. Whether that is your fun self, your spiritual self, or a part of your personality you cannot compensate for in other friendships and relationships such as sexual and romantic selves. So I don't think the

question is if you're choosing the person that you love the most, but are you choosing the person who makes you love yourself the most. Wow, that is a good point. I love that. Hoping you guys are interested in my theory. I love The Almost Famous Podcasts. Side note, Ashley, you with Kevin, make me cry like it was a Bachelor proposal,

wishing you the best. That's so sweet. Thank you, Kelly. Yeah, she makes really good points. What do you think? I think that's actually incredible. That makes me wonder if she believes in monogamy, though. I mean, she's obviously in a relationship,

but you choose, okay, so yes, you choose to be with the person who brings out that quality that you like the very most. Like, it's your most important, I suppose. The thing I've been learning lately is that, look, it's still hard work and you still have to sort of work on yourself. But I think when you're really in love, you want to.

I want to be a better person for my person. Does that make sense? Oh, it totally makes sense. And again, like I said, with the sacrifices the other day, it's not work. It's something I want to do because it makes me happy and them happy. I don't know. I think the greatest thing I've ever been told is you make me happy.

I could just die happy from that. That's a really nice thing to hear. It was like that is just life changing. Yeah. I personally like it when my fun self and my funny self comes out and like my flirty bantery self. So if I'm with somebody who I'm not laughing with a lot, which this is kind of like a new, this is kind of like something new. Like if you'd asked me a couple years ago, I wouldn't say like a guy who makes me laugh,

which is so weird because I think all girls say that. But I was like, oh, no, as long as I'd say it's like a decent sense of humor. But like, no, I need to have like that flirty, witty banter. Yeah. It makes me feel more like alive and it makes me feel really connected. Well, I think that is a great, you want somebody that makes you feel alive. Yeah. Even if sometimes you're crying or sometimes you're happy or sometimes you're passionate or whatever, you feel feelings.

Yeah. Well, I mean, Kelly, I don't think you really have a question. I think we love your theory. And it's something that I'm going to keep in the back of my mind always. Thank you. Thinking of another man from anonymous, Ben and Ashley, I believe when you know you found the one you definitely just know. You feel it in your soul. You crave to be around them and you can't get your mind off of them. Without being said, I'm in a very serious relationship. We've been together for five years and I love him to death. But recently, there's someone else that has stopped my world completely. I get this achy, lovey feeling that I haven't before. Literally, I can't get him off my mind and I just have this feeling that there's something more. or there could be something more if I wasn't a relationship with someone else.

I am not going to end my relationship for him and I would never cheat on my significant other, but I still can't help but think about this guy all the time. I think about all the things that could happen between us if my relationship ever ended. Am I just being ridiculous or doing the whole grass is greener on the other side thing? Or could I actually have strong real feelings for two people?

Thanks. Okay, well, going off of what Kelly's, said before, I think you can definitely have strong feelings for both people. And if Ben were here, he would obviously say the same thing. He was in love with two girls. Right. Maybe in different ways, but, you know, similar enough. When he was the bachelor,

what do you do? I know this, I saw this email and was like, I don't know how to, I mean, I don't even know what to say. This is horrible. This is, I'm going to be, but I'm going to tell you what I would probably do. I think you'd have to experiment a little bit with this guy, not physically, and not deeply emotionally,

but I think you need to hang out with him enough to really know whether this is something that your mind is just making up or if this is something that could really be there. It's just, yeah, you have to invest a little time in it. I agree with Ashley, although I feel like we might get a lot of hate. I think we might get a lot of hate too,

but then what are you going to do? I agree with you. Are you going to end your relationship for a guy that you just like got a little buzz crush over, which I would assume if you're with somebody for five years and you're not married, that if somebody else piques your interest,

I think you could probably develop a crush still really wanting to be with the person that you're in their relationship. This is a big, this is a complicated one. I almost feel like we should put you on the mic since you're the married guy in this house. Yeah, here, use mine. Okay.

Eston, you're married. You've been with your wife for how long? I've been with her for five years. Five years, perfect. Yes. Have you ever developed any sort of interest or curiosity in somebody else? No.

No. Yeah. Okay, so then going back, To Anonymous, I also, I've never been in a relationship as serious as five years, but I do tend to like to think that if I was with the person that I want to spend my rest of my life with and my soulmate, that I wouldn't develop that crush.

That is a concern. Yeah. Because I think that too. This whole email is very concerning. I feel like we might want to address it when we're, when we do our next show, like a therapist. Yeah. Anonymous, I'd love to know if you would like to come on and describe your situation a little bit more.

Yeah, we can totally disguise your voice. We can save this email because I want to go back to it next time. I think this is a question that a lot of people have and encounter in their life. And I think, yeah, we should dive a little bit deeper, especially when we have. Because I hate to say this. Oh, God, I hate to say this. So anonymous, don't listen to this, everybody else. Because there might be a reason that, oh, how do I say this?

She may not be in the perfect relationship if she's had. having these feelings for someone else. Like I think, in an ideal world, I would like to think that when I'm with the person I'm supposed to be with, I would never crush on anyone else. Okay? But I don't really know yet because I... You might think someone's cute or like, they give you like a little

flutter, but you're, but not to this. This is really more. Yeah. All right. One last email and I love the headline of this. Do women do their own makeup? This is from Annie in California. She goes, how do all the women look so flawless on the show? Do they They do their own makeup, and how do all the women know how to do their makeup so well?

What brands are they using? All right. So, yeah, everybody asked this question. I think we've addressed it before about clothing, at least. Your clothes are all on you that first season. Once you do Paradise, there's lots of clothing brands that want to send you clothing. So in my past, I've had like 50% purchase clothes in Paradise and 50% given clothes. But makeup, yeah, makeup is all on us.

I did it I love doing my own makeup for camera I feel like I know my face best and it just seems like the other girls in the house I really know how to do it too I don't know what to tell you but we do it and my favorite brands

if you want my favorite brands I like Mabeline I like Becca I like tart and I love Cat Bondi for things like powdery substances like eyeshadows and you know powder foundation because it has really,

really good strong pigment. Can I say something crazy? Because I don't wear very much makeup. But do you want to know what has been life-changing? What? Goop. Goop? I know. Amy loves a goop, which is Gwyneth Paltrow's beauty and, like, health line. I love Gwyneth because she will give like little things on her Instagram and I've bought two. Okay. And like game changer. So what is it? What kind of products? In luminators. Is that the right thing?

Yeah, like highlighters. Yeah, like a little, and then this little creamy blush thing. Mm-hmm. I mean, Gwyneth is my girl. I'm not kidding. She is. I could see using an organic foundation.

Because I wear, like, no makeup. I don't wear foundation. I only wear that little illuminator, whatever it's called, blush and lip gloss. Okay, well, you know what? That's really the basics. That is what every girl needs to feel her prettiest. And, you know, beyond that is when guys start.

start saying, like, it's too much. Guys like, you know, this is what I hear. Guys, like, a little lip stuff, a little mascara, and a little blush and highlight. I hear you want to look the same in the morning as you do at night. My only caveat about that is, like, I've got a whole bunch of post-acne spotting,

and, like, a little bit of rosacea. So, like, I need to wear a foundation. But that sucks because foundation is always, like, the telltale makeup. Like, you know a girl is wearing foundation, which, ugh. It's the one thing. goal in life is to like be able to feel really pretty without foundation that's it it's all i got for you

guys it's a good goal sorry this is what i get tired of dream let's do one more do one more okay we'll do this because it's fun all right so back to the bachelor talk this is from lovely on after the final rose we saw the first five contestants of becca's season eke i wanted to know your early opinions and guesses on who we think will go the farthest out of the five we saw tonight and if you read my question or answer it thanks if not also thanks here's to a better season hopefully slash most likely lovely let's all remember dean was one of those i know dean was sitting with me watching that and i was like dean you're such a husband now this is this was you last year um okay so these are the guys that stood out to me one that first guy so cute the one with the accent so charming just knew all the

right things to say loved him love the guy with the banjo so cute also thought the whole horse move was pretty cute. I mean, start of a fairy tale. You're going to get back up on the horse, and that's how she's going to exit the stage. I mean, pretty perfect. There's that second guy up. He was a little too swab. I can see him being like a Robbie character. Yeah. Yeah. It's all blur to me. I'm just going to be honest. Really? Total blur. No way. I don't know who this too. But that banjo guy was so freaking cute. I was stoked over him. I was like kind of like, oh, man, I don't want to see more of this guy. I think he's going to go really far. I think the first guy

remember when do we see The Bachelorette? Went May 28th. May, okay. So guys we have over two months, but you know what? They are going to breeze by. It's going to be alarmingly fast. Yeah, and then we go Bachelorette right into Paradise. Yeah, it's a whole

string of all the good stuff. Okay, guys, if you are looking to be on the next season of the Bachelor, first, send your audition tapes in now. They cast way ahead of time to make it an awesome, awesome audition tape. I'm thinking about ripping out my old audition tape and actually posting its

Instagram. It's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing that I actually haven't posted mine in the past. Like, I'm not embarrassed by anything that I do. I just, like, embrace the awkwardness. This is, like, the one thing where I'm like, that's a little bit over the edge. Well, now you have to. Yeah, I know.

So I think I'm going to. But, yeah, so this is my advice to you guys. Like, if you really want to be on the next season, amazing audition tape. head over to Thread Up if you get casted so that you can get some bargains for all the different dates you're going to need outfits for. Thread Up is the world's largest online thrift store with over 35,000 brands at up to 90% off retail price. Think free people dresses for $10. Jay crew jeans for $12. Kate Speed handbags for $30. I was looking at Manolo Blonics like Carrie Bradshaw Manolo's that were under $100.

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Right now, Threadup is offering Almost Famous listeners an extra 30% off their first order. So go to Thread Up that is T-H-R-E-D-U-P dot com slash almost-famous Threadup.com slash almost famous for an extra 30% off today. The denim is so good.

Oh my gosh, I was looking at flares because I want huge bell bottoms. Well, and it's also good because if you want to take a chance on something, you don't have to worry about the money because you can get it for like, 10 bucks. I know, Amy, all of these huge, awesome bell bottoms from like citizens of humanity and stuff, they were under $20.

So I just figure, oh, if it doesn't really fit perfectly, I could just bring it and get the waste timed for like another $10. Or if you do have a fail, way better to have an $8 fail than an $80 fail. Yeah. And, you know, easy returns just in case you do need to. And the denim jackets, the sweaters, the jackets, the denim is just amazing. Right. Okay. Well, thank you to sleep.

number thread up blue apron zola and bio clarity for sponsoring this podcast making it happen each week as you can see we love you guys so much we get incredible feedback and our listenership has just been through the roof lately and we are so so thankful we're even giving you hour and a half podcast pretty much because we just we just love talking to you guys and um that's all i got next week moving on to more real-life things between Ben and myself. And I'll talk to you then. Until then, email Ben and Ashley at iHeartMedia.com, and I've been Ben.

And that's been Amy. Bye. You just said Ivan. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcast on IHartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.