The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - S4 #2 Bachelors on Bachelor

Episode Date: January 9, 2018

  Ashley is out this week, but we’ve got the two most recent Bachelors in studio, Ben Higgins and Nick Viall! Ben hears that he ended up on the “Most Googled of 2017” list… but not for reasons he’s proud of. Then, the guys break down the game film of episode 2 of Arie’s season, and we get a full rundown on what Ben says is the best Bachelor date ever… the demolition derby. And, Nick sits in on everyone’s favorite segment, listener e-mails! Find out the advice these former Bachelors give to a listener whose boyfriend is “addicted” to dating apps. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's really good to be in studio, by the way. This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast with IHartRadio. Hey, everybody, I'm Ben. Oh, and I'm Nick. Yeah, we're doing this like this. Nick Viola is here today. Ashley is out of the country, and so we thought we would bring back one of our favorite and most special guest, the former Bachelor himself. Welcome to the podcast, Nick.

Thanks for having me, Ben. Are you the most recent Bachelor? Other than Ari? Yes. Oh. So we have the most recent Bachelor and the one before. Are you the one before? I am, yeah.

Oh, my God. Hey, this is a big deal, isn't it? So we have the two most recent bachelors talking about the new one. You are nothing if not observing, Amy. Oh, man, it's like we planned that or something. Anyways. I immediately feel used. Wait, before you guys start talking about everything, I have some breaking news.

I'd love to hear this. I would like to read from Us Magazine's end of the year issue some things that were the most Googled in 2017. Let's hear it. The most Googled person, Matt Lauer, the most Googled musician, Lincoln Park. That's sad. The most Googled wedding, Pippa Middleton and James Matthews, and the most Googled breakup. Ben Higgins and Lauren Bushnell. Oh, wow.

Way to go. Congratulations. I was really excited for this list. How is that possible? You and Matt Lowe. What do you mean? How is that possible? How is that possible that, like, more people Googled you than Chris Pratt and Anna Farris or Anna, Anna, whatever her name is. Josh Demel and Fergie?

Amy, why? Let's know what you're saying right now. Besides all other variables. Yeah, besides all the variables that now my breakup is the most Google, you're rubbing in by going, how? I don't get it. I mean, I actually am like shocked. Amy, stop. This hurts.

I don't want to be mean. Like, I'm proud of you. No, I don't want to be. This is going nowhere good People truly believed in your relationship I believe that Unfortunately I don't know what to say right now

I want to know what you're feeling Now that I've told you you're the most Googled breakup Yeah How does that make you feel sad, happy? I don't know Confused It's like a minor win In your failed relationship

There's nothing about this It's really sad It's like the ultimate It meant participation award. Hey, you tried really hard. Tried really hard. And as a result... And we cared.

Yeah. But, hey, listen, you know. Like, people cared that you lost. All right. Hey, everybody. Unlike my relationship, apparently people just went on with their day. Yeah.

I'm sorry. It's like, oh, well, you know. Yeah, Nick, do you think you'd feel better if you were the most Googled? I'm comfortable with letting Ben have this award. Yeah. I mean, it's in print. I printed it from the magazine. I can see the picture.

Yeah. Highest grossing film, Beauty and the Beast. Most stream song, Shape of View. Most YouTube song, Desposito. Most Googled breakup. Ben Higgins. It's really nice to be back in studio with you all. I'm so happy to.

Happily ever after your question? Absolutely not. You know, there's some things in life that you would rather just never have happened. And honestly, I never thought I'd have my own podcast. I never thought I'd be The Bachelor. I never thought I'd fall in love on The Bachelor. I never thought we would be breaking up from The Bachelor. And I never thought people would care enough to actually Google about the breakup.

And what are they Googling? Like, if we broke up? I guess they Googled Ben, Lauren, breakup. So, Ben, do you think people are devastated by the breakup or basking in your pain? Yeah. Oh. as a victim I feel like people bask in my pain

but I really do believe that people watch this show and I believe just like you and Vanessa people believed in it they want to believe in it oh I like to wait just for the breakup well you're also the one that brought up that I was the most Google breakup everyone loves a fall from grace

you know yeah it's kind of like oh yeah finally we knew it wouldn't last yeah I think people care but I don't think I don't think people were that devastated when when people break up from the bachelor I think at this point, it's almost expected. Do you think there was a Bachelor breakup where people were devastated?

Ben and Lauren breaking up, people... Apparently, Ben and Lauren. Yeah, we're pretty upset. Well, it's got to be that because otherwise, you know, I think people must Google it because they want to know what happened. It's like, how could this possibly have happened? I need to Google it and find out. And again, imposed on, like, another relationship.

It's like, oh, okay. You know, I was, I've actually, I've been devastated of a Bachelor breakup. Who's? Yeah, I remember back in the day watching, um, Desra and Brooks Desiree Desiree

and real devastated Ben don't know her name wait they didn't even end up together he dumped her but when that moment

happened on the show when he said hey I'm leaving I remember feeling for her at the time and going this is sad because she's really

into him but there's always a success story at the end and the success story is that she is happily

married today with a kid to the dude from the show yeah that's what I meant What's your happy ending going to be? We're still looking for it.

Right after this podcast. Wait, and breaking news. Nick, you've got to ask Ben about winter games. You're going back. Ben, what were you thinking? Well, I was looking for my happily ever after. Ben's on winter games, everybody. That was announced today.

Congratulations. Yeah. Can you tell us what it is? You're welcome, Bachelor Nation. So winter games is really just a, a fun kind of light-hearted show that will be filling in for the weeks during the Olympics. So The Bachelor will actually take a pause. Winter Games will step in and fill that time slot.

And it's just, it really was a really fun experience with, obviously, the typical Bachelor drama. Are people looking for love? People are looking for love. They're competing in wintry sports. People are going on dates. There's tears. There's emotion. There's everything you would expect from a Bachelor show.

Ashley, our other co-host that's typically here and I decided to do it because we wanted to, you know, take this, take that next step and have fun with it and see what it was. I'm glad we did it. Wait, what is that next step? You made it sound like you're falling in love with each other. Yeah, Ben, are you potentially in love? You have to watch. You're making it sound like you're falling in love with Ashley. Am I really?

I didn't mean that at all. Please don't take it that way. I didn't take it that way. I did. But no, I did do it now. So you can go out to The Bachelor and look at the release of the cast members. My picture, you should look up and close and personal. I have my fly down in it.

No. I do. No. Yeah, my flies down in my Bachelor Winter Games picture. How do we see this picture? In true Boy Scout fashion, Ben is always prepared for falling in love. Wait, how do we find this picture? I would want this no other way.

Go, I don't know, go out to Twitter, the Bachelor Twitter, go to Mike Fleiss's Twitter. I think he linked it. I'm looking. You can find it. I've now found it, and it's been sent to me a couple of times. You know, this is my relationship with the show now, where they care so little about how I look that they're just like, you know what?

There's some great pictures we have of been. Let's pick the one when it's flies down. I don't see it. Well, I mean, I'm assuming your flight was down the entire photo shoot, as opposed to you being like halfway for the shoot being like, you know what? I just need to breathe. And then, you know.

Yeah, no, it was down the whole entire time. Nobody really wanted to tell me. I'm really excited This photo will now represent me For the next I don't know Month of my life The most Googled picture of 2018 I can see the names

So I'll read who's on the show But I see no fly down picture So it says the men from the United States of America Are Ben Let's view Dean Eric Eric Bigger I'm assuming Yes right

Jamie who's Jamie Who's Jamie? Oh Jamie's from last season of the back He was gone very early. He had his famous statement at the very first episode was if Rachel isn't into a guy with perfect facial features and a perfect wardrobe, she won't be into me. Wow.

Yeah. He's actually, he was darling. I want to meet him. Josiah. Yep. Luke, Luke Pell. Yep. Michael.

We do. We love Luke. Michael. I know that dude, Garofalo or something. Yeah, great guy. Michael is a great guy. Wait, why are there only three girls from representing America? Ari had a couple of the girls from his season that have not been released yet.

Oh, got it. Okay, so it's Ashley I, our very own. Claire, Crazy Claire, from Sacramento. Crazy, Claire, you're being me? She's crazy. Keep going. And Leslie from Sean Lowe's season. Yeah.

And then apparently a bunch of international people that won't mean anything. No, that was the exciting part of the show. And really a reason why I want to do it, too, was we didn't have. know a lot of the people that were going on. They were from all over the world. There were people from Japan and China and New Zealand and Russia and Germany and I'm forgetting Australia. It was a really great mix of people that caused for a really fun show.

I think the viewer is going to watch it. I know being a part of it for me was fun. I think the viewer is going to have fun with it as well. So make sure to tune in to Bachelor Roaring Games. I will be there with my flight up for most of the season. Hey, tonight we got to witness the second episode of Ari's season. And so far, I'm having a hard time diving in emotionally to this season. Nick, do you agree?

Well, I never expected to dive in emotionally to it. It's a, you know, I thought this episode, they really made you wait a long time for some good TV. Is it weird how they started with two one-on-ones. before the group date. I agree. So let's talk about the first one-of-long. It's kind of slow-going at first. It really was.

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start with two one-on-ones let's start with the first let's break it down a little bit coming from a bachelor perspective that has recently done the show what did you think of becca and ari's connection it's it's the first one-on-one so it's kind of hard to tell um i will say the two one-on-one dates were we're in terms of early dates we're both um i think meaning meaningful dates or something to kind of like take away in terms of they weren't necessarily like throwaway dates. I think some, you know, some dates are always better than others in Bachelor World. And I think as the lead, you know, there's some sort of prioritizing of like who gets

certain dates that happens. And so these particular dates, I think, were dates that I think Ari assumed or knew that both of the women would really like and appreciate. You know, for different reasons. You know, Becca had the whole, like, she was wine and dine, a very kind of pretty woman-esque type of feel. Yeah, Rachel Zowe dresses and the Lubiton shoes. Yeah, she got to keep it all and things like that.

And she, you know, so it was a day about really making her feel special. I think that, so that's telling. And they seem to really like each other. See, that's what I witnessed was I remember my first one on one date with Kayla, and it really started the relationship with Kayla. And she ended up going to the final three because of that, really, that first date when I got to sit down with her, And I realized for the first time in the show, hey, I'm actually going to be really into somebody.

Tonight, when we watched Ari's episode, I witnessed Becca and Ari having a connection that just seemed more than what he has with most. It was more natural. I did not find her annoying and I did not find them awkward. Well, we really don't know yet, right? Because we haven't really seen him. That was the first date. Okay. So, I mean, but I will say the relationship seemed genuine and he seemed genuinely interested in her.

and you know Minnesota girl she's Midwest you know she seems very normal you don't get the sense that there's going to be a lot of drama with her so I think it's probably a relationship that's one to watch but your perspective and I guess my perspective too is different because you can watch this and be you can see past some of the stuff that typically the normal viewer can't so you're watching this year you're looking for cues of is this real or is it not is Ari putting on his game face or is he not?

And from my perspective, I felt like watching that first one on one date, to me it seemed like there was something more. Like, she's going to be around a while. Yeah, I definitely, I think, yeah, I think it's a relationship we should watch. I think, like, I agree with you. Like, little things like the music they chose to play

and things like that, you know, during their date. You know, it was a, they definitely, I thought it was an interesting moment, too, in terms of they aired one of the ladies I don't know who it was when Ari picked Becca up for the date of saying they look so cute together

I was just gonna say that. I thought that was a really telling moment of the show like it's letting you know that even some of the other women think they look like a good couple so I think that's an interesting point to watch so I think yeah I agree I mean if I had to guess

she'll be around for a while because I thought that was a telling little setup by the show. I was going to say the same thing. I think there was another moment in the episode where somebody said, they're going to get married. I think Bibiana might have been the one that when at some point, she looked at Becca and Ari and said, they're going to get married.

I thought that was really sweet. It was a kind gesture on Bibiana's part, but also a little odd that other women are seeing something there so early on. It almost reminded me of Sean and Caitlin. From the first night on, the guys were saying, that relationship is different than any of ours, and we can feel it, we can sense it, we can

see it. We're going to be around because we don't know for certain, but we have a pretty good idea that something special exists until you stepped in and blew all of our minds. Maybe someone was going to show week four this season. Yeah, no, and also keep in mind, she had

the first one-on-one. So there's a good chance Like, in the next couple weeks, we won't see much of Becca. Like, she'll pop in, but, like, you know, she's not going to have a one-on-one date for a while. No. So there's that. I mean, she'll obviously be on group dates, and I would expect her to probably get a group-date rose at some point. Yeah, but we won't. So I think it was telling that the show, because it was an early date, they definitely went out of their way to let you know that this relationship was meaningful.

And then you had the, what, the second one-on-one date? What was that young lady's name? Yeah. The second one-on-one date was with Crystal. Crystal and Ari flew to Scottsdale to visit his hometown, to meet his parents, which I thought was a huge step and kind of different for the show to do so early. Yeah, I mean, they mixed it up,

but it's interesting about that date is because you look at the date itself and it would seem incredibly meaningful, you know, hometown, where he lives, meet the family. And so you immediately assume that even if you're her, and as a viewer, you're like this Ari really likes this, Which is entirely true. It's so early on.

He doesn't really know any of these women at all. So he's basing early dates off of night one impressions. Only to kind of find out as a viewer that, you know, she doesn't have a close relationship with her family. So, like, you know, that's not a coincidence that she gets to go and meet his family and find out how close he is, only to have to, like, talk about how she's not close with hers. So to me, that lost a little, in terms of what does that mean for those two

in their relationship like it was like okay that makes sense and it makes less sense about the relationship and more maybe about a storyline and then obviously she proceeded to be a weirdo pretty good TV at the cocktail party she was so weird she has the ultimate um what's what does howard stern call it um vocal fry yeah yeah i mean wow that cutciness it's not even cute at first like first is like sounds sultory it's like one of those people's voices we're at first She's like, oh, this is really attractive. And then like, five minutes later, just like, oh, stop talking. Not a shot that that was attractive.

I think that's where I want to get into here. So let's break down. But it was fun to watch. Yeah, I want to know at the cocktail party. I hope she sticks around for a while. Ben, at the cocktail party, when she was like, I missed you. Would you have liked that? No, no.

And I think that's, you know, so we have Crystal here who goes on this one-on-one. We all kind of like her after the one-on-one. I think all of us are, okay, there was something there. She opened up. She shared. She was vulnerable. But I even wrote in my notes, there's something more here. At that moment, I was like, she isn't this easy.

She's more complicated, which complicated, and it could be a good thing. But there's more to her. Crystal? Yeah. There was something. And then we get to the cocktail party. And we start to see something. We actually saw it beforehand, if you remember right, when she sat down with the women in the house and they were asking her about the date.

Yes. And I know her intention was to not make them jealous, to not overstep her bounds by sharing too much. but as a result of not sharing too much, she came off very distant and a little bit bitchy. Am I wrong? Of course she comes off as total bitchy. Yeah. Which is good TV.

I mean, I actually, it's funny watching the show. How long has the show been on? This is the 22nd season of The Bachelor. We have how many seasons of The Bachelor? It's like, I'm almost like impressed. Like how do people, like they still come on. And I don't know if it's a producer thing or the people in the show. They're like, they're still, like, unapologetically.

And, again, I appreciate to a certain extent. I mean, I, I wasn't that assertive with my time. And for all the, for all the criticism I got early on in the season, I really didn't interrupt people. Yeah. Especially that early on. But, like, I was assertive with, like, making, going out of my way to make time and do little things. But it's just kind of amazing. So that brings me to a question that I'm so interested in for the two of you.

So, Ben, when you were the bachelor and all these girls are like, I need my time with Ben. I need my time with Ben. Do you feel obligated that everyone get time? Or do you feel like I'm just going to talk to the girls I really am interested in? Why waste my time with Sally when I'm never going to pick her? Early on the first few weeks, I definitely wanted everybody to get time because I didn't know anybody. And I knew that that was my opportunity to get to know them.

As I got to know some people, then the time wasn't as needed because either A, I knew they were probably going home that night. and so I want to invest into the people that I knew I was going to be having a long lasting relationship with or at least another week long relationship with and so I think that's the transition right now Ari probably feels pulled in a thousand directions here's the one thing I always

queued up on so watching Chris's season and watching Andy's season people react certain ways to specific situations you always have your hey I need more time girl or guy hey I'm going to pull them first girl or guy you always have those playing out

typically those aren't the people that you're going to end up with and so I watched for that so this would have been my thing I don't know Nick do you agree or disagree week one or week two if somebody's coming in and interrupting me three different times and three different conversations there's a cue or there's a sign

that would go off in my head that would go I need to look farther into this person there's something off so that's crystal yes and I mean to a certain degree one I mean yeah like crystal's not going to win. I mean, I think that's clear.

I mean, yeah. I mean, I don't know if that means, like, I don't think her interrupting makes an immediate sign that she's like a crazy bad person. I mean, she might be slightly confused about their... I don't know if it, but listen, here, the role of the

bachelor's, okay, Nick, why would somebody not at all, let's, we're not going into if she's a bad, she's probably a great person, but why, the people that do that, why are they doing that? do you think that comes from and that they can find somebody to do that every year because you know and i knew that's not set up listen everyone wants to get time right and so a couple and like not to give trade sick it's the role is i think you would agree with this the role of any lead especially

early on is to allow the cast people to be themselves so which is why you often don't see and the leads often get criticized for you don't see leads shutting people down If someone's going to interrupt three times, you usually always see the lead, let it happen. And there's a reason why, because people like to hate on it, but they also love watching it. So like, you just kind of let people. And truthfully, in all sincerity, it does allow the lead to kind of get a feel for what's going on. So you don't try to take over too much. And, you know, like producers let women do their thing.

But if someone says, I want to see Ari again. and they've already talked to them twice, they'll probably make it easy for them to find art. How long are those little talks? It depends. It could be 30 seconds. It could be 10 minutes. Yeah, it just matters kind of where it's going and how beneficial it is.

I mean, that's it, Nick. It's the difficult situation, and as Amy was getting to, these talks can often be really short or really long. You don't, as the lead, you don't know how this is going to play out. You don't know what it's going to look like. You want to give everybody their opportunity. I want to ask you, before we keep breaking down this episode, What was in week two, from week one to four,

what was your most difficult experience being the bachelor? Like what was a situation that you didn't know how to handle it? I mean, I don't know if there was a situation I didn't know how to handle. I think the most difficult thing about being the bachelor early on, it's just exhausting. I mean, there's so many women that you really want to try to get to know. Like, you know, Ari had a group date here with 15 women. So that's 15 conversations and assuming you only talk to one person once.

I mean, so he probably had. had 20 little conversations. It's basically another night one. It's tiring. It's exhausting. You have a sincere effort to try to get to know these women, and it's just exhausting. And so, you know, for me, obviously, it was the Corinne show early on of her wanting to get time. I mean, and again, like, it wasn't like I didn't know how to handle the situation. It was me letting Corin be Corinne, and then the fear of, like, you know, how long can I let this go on without really pissing off the other women?

It's a cat and mouse game. It's like a definitely a juggling act. It's a completely juggling act. I think you used the right word there. It's exhausting. And I have just a solution for you, Nick. When you get exhausted, check out a sleep number mattress. Most Americans, hey, that's right.

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i have as i mentioned last week for years i don't want it any other way i love my sleep number i love the ability to adjust each side so that one side can be firm one side can be soft when I get a little tired of the firmness, I just roll over a couple times of the soft side. They even have an adjustment for snoring. Does your bed do that, Nick? I don't have a sleep number bed. Well, you're missing out.

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All right, moving on. We got to get to, I think, one of the best scenes ever in The Bachelor. One of the best dates, Demolition Derby. That was pretty cool. Amazing. I cannot believe they were able to do that. Yeah, I was honestly watching and thinking a couple of things. One, it's just like, my dates were fine.

They were especially early on. But, like, just early on, it's, like, hard to, like, you know, like, Ari's first group date, he's demolition derby. He gets to drive around. He could decorate these cars. How do they find these cars that they just destroy? I had to do a wedding photo shoot where, like, I had to change into, like, 20 ridiculous freaking outfits dressed up as, like, Adam and Eve and, like, half naked. And it was just, like, ugh, exhausting. And then, like, yeah, it was, and Ari's just, like, driving around in cars.

So he's definitely, that was a cool date. I mean, I had some cool dates, but whatever. But yeah, that was, that one, then I had the track date where I was just like running around. I did get to meet Carl Lewis. That was really cool. Yeah. But yeah, I agree with you. I thought that was. I feel a little bad for myself watching this episode night.

Yeah, I was like, he pulls up in a motorcycle. I pull up in a Volvo. I had this like, Volvo. I had this like, chick car convertible. That's something different. Yeah, that's something different completely. Yeah, I had this like little tiny Audi, which wasn't very massive. masculine at all.

Oh, man. I don't know what that says about me. But yeah, Ari, it really went well with his blue eyes and cloud puffy lips. Yeah. I mean, they're really playing this guy up. And then he gets to have a demolition derby. I got to break down a second case. So so far we talked about Becca.

She was lovely. There's something more there than what you, that any of the viewer actually knows. I think this, she's going to be around while. We talked about Crystal on her one-on-one date. Really great one-on-one day. I feel like she's playing into the role of, hey, I need more time. and she's overconfident in their relationship. And as a result, that's going to cause some problems, I think, for her later.

And now we're getting into a demolition. Not for the viewers, though. That's why we watch, right? No, we watch Define Love. And Ari goes on, gets into a car, something he does love. And Annalise does not love it. She was the Mask Girl night one. She has a breakdown.

That was amazing. Because she has a terror of bumper cards. Now, here's the thing. Before we get into this, I want to be very clear. I don't want to judge her for her fear. Why not? I am so scared of clowns, like so unbelievably scared of clowns. I know people that are scared of dark spaces, that are adults.

I know people that are deathly scared of spiders, technology. There are some weird fears out there. So let's set the record straight. As we get to talk here, we're not saying she's wrong for her fear. Well, I asked her about it. What did she say, Amy? I met her. So we talked about it last week that I hung out with her.

Can we have her on as a guest? Yeah, I think once she doesn't marry Ari. Or does. Or does. I would love to ask some questions. I'm watching it. So here's what she told me. She had gone to do bumper cars with her friends.

Yeah. And I guess they were mean to her. What does that mean? Bullying. And when she says friends, how old is she? I think nine maybe. Let me text her. Let me text her and find out how old she was.

But I think it triggered her or something. She was having these, like, flashbacks of when, like, kids were mean to her and bumping into her or something. It was just, like, watching it. She's, like, she gets really emotional. I'm like, oh, what happened? And I'm, like, feeling really, really bad. And then, like, I thought maybe she, like, got ran over or, like, there were some serious injuries. And then she just basically described your, like, very typical bumper car experience where people were bumping into you and ganging up on you, which is what, like, what happens to.

Anyone who's ever done Bepper cars has had the same experience. And then she's just, the way she tells the story, it was just like, it would be the same as someone's like, you know, I just, I'm terrified of crossing the street because this is one time I crossed the street. In the middle of me crossing the street, it said, don't walk. And I didn't know what to do. And so I froze. And all these cars came, and it was just like terrifying. So I swear to God, I haven't crossed the street since. You're right.

I mean, so my... She said she was seven. It was the most unrelatable, like, devastating story. Well, and it was hyped up. So I was watching it tonight, and she's, like, crying. Like you said, I thought, I think it's going to be like, oh, she's been in a major car wreck. A family's member, been in a major car wreck. This is going to be really hard.

The poor girl should not do this because it's triggering something. But I'll be... Like, she had an incident at the county fair? Yeah. When she announced her terror, I... because of my evilness, I laughed. Yeah, I did. And I'm sorry, Annalise, I'm sure she's fine.

Who was the girl who called her out? That was like, that was so good. That was the best moment of the TV. She was just like, I'm confused. And that one girl was like, I'm going to ram right into her. I mean, the girls did not take this serious. They were like, yeah, I'm going to make her life worse because she's now announced her fear.

But she was scared. She was crying. It was crying. I think she was just having a meltdown. I wouldn't have done it. If I was on the show, which I would never be. but if I was, I would have said, pass. I'm not going to go in that rent-a-wreck and have someone banging into me.

You're not going to take the opportunity to overcome your traumatic bumper experience because, the end of the good news is she did and, you know, she's fine, no. No, pass, pass. I'm not going in like that weird car that had no airbags or safety protectors. Amy, stop, stop. Everybody out there listening, Amy doesn't get in elevators. She doesn't, she hasn't flown on a plane in 18 years. she drives everywhere she's scared of everything so her telling me what she's scared of and wanting

me to take it serious is really difficult i wouldn't get into those cars there's tons of things on your show i'd never do my point exactly yeah my point exactly you would do very little amy won't go on the show the show won't have yeah she'd she'd feel a couple good roles um i mean she would be the haughty but thank you i needed that today next thank you um yeah i mean but i did think that might have been one of the best and most exciting group dates I've ever watched on television. They're all very lucky that they got to have that bumper car experience. Okay, let's move on. The cocktail party.

The heart and soul of The Bachelor, you know, The Bachelor. Can we back up for a second? Go ahead, Nick. We can do whatever you'd like. Who's the young lady from, I believe, Miami? I call her No Chill. Oh, Bibiana. Bibiana, one of our favorites on this podcast.

Yeah, one of our favorites. I call her no chill I might have to refer to her as that from now on Because that all kind of starts On the group date And I really quite liked her In terms of like

Every season there's always someone Early on who like It's like It just started I mean we're talking like day two Day three of filming here And this person's already losing their shit In terms of like the time

They're not getting And just time out We can't I like what she's doing though I love it being very honest, very straightforward. We need to appreciate her honesty more. I'm not saying I don't appreciate it.

She still has no chill. Like she's, she's, listen, that, that world is hard and painful and it messes with you. She clearly has not gotten much time with Ari. It's early on. And that's getting to her. She clearly, she might be the coolest person world. I'm sure she is. Like, she probably has a lot of fun, but she's very outspoken.

Obviously, clearly, I would guess, is it. attractive woman used to like getting attention and now she's in a world that she's not and it's like messing with her and driving her nuts and on the first date she is losing her mind and melting down it's is it weird that I'm semi attracted to that I've been attracted to that my whole life I was going to say I watch it I'm like I love this it's great but like she's I mean she's very intense but anyways I think she might like I think off camera she would I think she'd hit someone yeah I think she would I think she still might I think she's capable of hitting one, a guy or girl.

I hope it happens. I don't think it will. But she is really over it. And so it kind of sets up into the cocktail party. So I just wanted to segue into that, Ben. Because that was kind of the best part of the cocktail party of her just going off on Crystal.

Yeah, crazy Crystal. And then all the making out with Becca, the short-haired Becca, they just seem to be making out. She's the most impressive one, I think. Just as a person? Well, it's interesting because she's the youngest. I love how they don't show her her age.

It was night one, like little things you pick up on. Clearly she's young. They won't show her age. But to me, she's one of the most self-assured and confident people on there. When she called out, the whole, like, what makes you excited? And Ari said excitement. And, like, that was a funny little thing.

And, like, you know, we don't know if that was, like, the end of the night. Arri's excited and his brains fried. So, like, I'm not here to pick on Ari about answering that question. But first of all, it was just, good question. It wasn't like very overly specific, but it was better than, well, I'm just happy to be here and tell me about yourself. It was like, all right, I'm going to like ask you a question that like might be able to tell me something about yourself by the way you answer it.

So I thought it was a very thoughtful question. Right. She's not dumb. Her biggest problem is going to be her age. Yeah. And then the fact that like when Ari said the excitement word, she had the confidence, not in a any bitchy sort of way, but she called them out, you know, in a lot of situations on that show she could have been like a lot of the women who are just like yeah yeah excitement makes me excited too or she could have left the conversation be like that fucking moron oh sorry that moron yeah we don't say that either um and so so yeah she but the fact that she like had the confidence on night one to call out the the big old bachelor in terms of it just showed a lot of it showed that she was very self-assured and confident or

She's got a great voice. I mean, yeah, I'm really impressed with her. She's obviously too young, and you're right. Like, I think she'll go for a while based off of that. She's very, you know, sexy and whatever, but, like, eventually, I think her age will kill her. But it's funny, I'm watching it, and I'm thinking, like, you compare this girl to Corinne. It's just, like, two entirely different maturity levels. Because she would make a good bachelorette, but she's in about six years.

Yeah, she's 21, is what I. Is she 21? I'm pretty sure. That's really interesting. I mean, that's... But, I mean, it's good for her. She's so... I mean, that shows that she's very...

She's very... As a young lady, she's very impressive. It's in that world to, like, hold her own. And it's impressive. She, I mean, she had... One of the things that sit out to me most on night one was when she's sitting with Ari and he was on the back of the car and they were talking about what they were into.

And she said, you know, something along the lines of so far, this is good for me. Not giving him too much confident, but just enough to be... that, you know, kind of sweet gesture to make him know, hey, I want to be here a little longer, and I think he was into it. He should be into it. She's really great.

You can tell her she has a magnetic personality. He would want her, but she's like 20 years younger than him. Yeah. That's... It would just be frowned upon. 15 years. I say, if he's... Hey, love is love.

If you... I'm not judging. You know, it's just, it's... Anyways. So, okay, Nick, I want to ask you, we're going to go to the cocktail party. People, these girls grab. Having Ari for more time, even when they have roses, I know you're probably, I'm going to assume you're a fan of this because you're all about, hey, take your time to get as much time as possible. Yeah, I mean, listen, there's a, there's a fine line of having show.

I think the idea that you have a rose and so therefore you're not a lot of, it's like, that's a bunch of crap. I mean, I actually, I think you probably remember, remember this. When I came on on Caitlin's season, I was like, listen, guys, like, I'm, I don't, I'm going to go out of my way to try to find time with Caitlin. There's a respectful way of doing it, but I'm not going to concede time just because I've gotten a rose. There's a difference between, like, getting a little bit of time and waiting at the end or maybe this, you know, as opposed to like going three times. I mean, that was a little much. But I don't think you should immediately concede some time because you've got some time. That's the most insane thing to do to just be like, well, I've already had some time and therefore please go and try to like.

So you're saying the people, the cast members on the show. So the Bibiana. Let's talk about Bibiana then. Bibiana's upset because Crystal's arose and she keeps stealing Ari away from other conversations. Do you feel like Bibiana's anger is unwarranted then? I think it's unwarranted to immediately be mad at the first. Like, she was mad immediately. She was mad that she went to talk to her at all.

Like nothing's stomping Bibian or anyone else to just grabbing her. So like this idea, like they even said in the show, there was this kind of one, moment where they're like, well, she's going to go and then I'm going to go. Like they all like made a list. Like if they said a lot, the producers are going to just be like, all right, we're all going to grab you for an ITM and just mess up your intentions. But like that's insane. Like this

is not like this idea of we're all going to share the same guy. And so yes, but at the same time now that she's, you know, and it's not a coincidence, the girl who like got the most mad was the one she interrupted, you know. But I think again, it's a fine

line. So like you can be assertive. and make the most of your time without being quote unquote disrespectful. And I think both girls were wrong in that situation where Bibiana was had no chill. That's no chill, right? Yeah, that's no chill. No chill had no chill.

And I think Crystal I think Crystal, I think Crystal should have just been happy with a little bit of time and then left it alone. Do you think as guys that were on The Bachelorette that guys in general have way more chill than girls? I just

picture myself in that situation and I would just run out of the house screaming like a maniac get me out of here you just gave me the crazy ice thing so are you saying okay nick and amy are you saying you believe guys have more chill way way more chill I don't know it just depends I mean there's been plenty of guy breakdowns but like were any of your cup on katelyn's season yeah I was there for that were any of your guys like ben you just took all the time with yes it happens every season Every single season And it blows my mind that people Every single season

Yeah I just cannot imagine guys being like that Yeah I mean I's turning into some of the biggest women in that show Well I mean I go back to when Nick came on So we for the first four weeks of The Bachelorette During Caitlin's season the guys that we didn't go along with Kind of all went home pretty early And so we never had that contention or that those arguments existing

So when Nick came on it was a huge It really stirred the pot We all had this kind of close-knit friendship I think he felt it We can ask him he's sitting next to me. He comes on and any time he interrupted, he kind of became the guy that was the interrupter and a couple of the guys.

But I really wasn't, though. That's the thing. Fair, in your opinion, but from like the Josh Albers of the world who was on Caitlin's season with us, he was one of those guys that got very upset with you. You interrupted me. I didn't interrupt Josh. Well, we need to break this down a little bit. It sounds like we haven't figured this one out yet.

But it's true. That happens every year. It's going to happen. did you ever on Caitlin's season there's a difference in interrupting and then going right because every every time they're like all right hey I want to talk to someone so especially early on they're like all right well she's in that room talking to so and someone go in there right and I'm assuming at some point you went and grabbed Caitlin while she was talking to a guy now 100% of course now again I've always said that they choose this air some things and they choose to air not right

right so like that happens in fact that almost happens every single conversation is almost always ended by someone else coming in because i'm thinking about it in real life we're all at a party right yeah and like some girls want to talk to nick it's not like they're going to ask each other if you had some time with nick because i haven't do but it's it's the people who go like in real life it's the people who go like two or three times in a night there's a that's but at a real party in a real life this is supposed to be real life right so at a real life life party you just go and talk to who you want to talk to them there's no like list and i haven't had my time it's like so if this supposed to be real life then i guess crystal can do whatever

she wants yeah but this isn't real life and we're not like if you saw a guy and a girl talking and either they were hitting it off or you don't even know if they're in a relationship you're not going to walk up and be like hey like listen can i just borrow this dude for a second like it's not gonna happen so let's not compare this to real life because it's not um no it's real life for me nick i I had to relive. Most Google breakup of 2017, Ben Higgins. It's a real, like I've said this before,

it's very real in a very unrealistic environment. It's not a realistic environment, you know. But everything in that world is real. These are real freakouts. These are real, like real feelings. These are real conversations. And an incredibly unrealistic situation. So because we have the opportunity to have Nick in studio,

I want to take a little time here to honestly, earnestly, in the best of our ability, break down Ari's Bachelor performance so far, okay? If you want to call it a performance. Say it, man. I don't know what else to call it. So if you have a better word for it, please write in and tell me. But Ari is earnestly trying to find love.

We've said that. I believe he cares a lot about the woman involved. He cares a lot about the process. Nick, so far, after watching Ari, what do you think his intrigue and appeal is? Like, the women seem very into him. I feel like the country is going to start falling in love with this guy because they really want to see him successful. Do they? I mean, I don't know.

That's the question I'm asking you. But why would they want to find, why would they want to see that? Like, what intrigues them about Ari? I mean, he's a good-looking guy. I met him once. He's been very nice. I mean, so far this season's been kind of... It's interesting because he hasn't been out in a while,

and I feel like it's almost slightly more reminiscent of, like, past seasons. Oh, I agree. Pretty, like... It's old school. Yeah. I mean, listen, not every... I say this sarcastically,

and I wasn't thrilled with it when it happened, but, like, not every bachelor can be as lucky or unlucky in terms of good TV of having... having someone they, you know, met at a wedding on episode one to create immediate drama. You know, I wasn't thrilled with it, but certainly it made things, you know, interesting for viewers. And so it's kind of, again, I just found it really interesting that they started with two one-on-ones. It was like, whew, you know, like, you know, usually the, you know, you get a little odd drama early on. I mean, Ari doesn't seem like he's going to take a ton of risks.

Are you scared for Ari at all because he won't take those risks? Not necessarily. I mean, you know, again, Ben and I, you have talked about it. It's hard for me to be critical of Ari or any other bats or just because it's so hard to be the lead. And there's so many things we don't know in variables. And it's easy to nitpick, like, you know, the way they answer questions. So much of what's talked about isn't air. so it's hard for me to be overly critical you know he's just kind of he's just kind of going through it

I just don't my guess is this season is we're going to get most of our entertainment from the women and I don't think we're going to get a ton from Ari I mean that's kind of that's somewhat truthful in every season is because they just don't allow that you know um And so I think that might be just even more heightened on this season because I just got the impression that Ari will just kind of, you know, play safe. Well, I think that's why, in all honesty, I was so excited for your season because you were the first person in a while that I thought had the confidence knew themselves the most

and cared enough about the process to take those risks, to be a little unsafe. Yeah, I mean, I kind of did whatever. They, again, don't show a lot. And, you know, there were conversations I had that I wanted to get. aired because it showed me having more of an opinion and things like that but like again I don't get to choose what they show or don't show obviously you had like the drama with Liz early on and you know the I was willing to take a risk on taking Corinne far I knew I was going to get criticized for it but I had my reasons you know everyone wanted to meet the nanny and she

was cool and so you know but yeah it's it's tough to criticize I mean I will say you know we talked about this before like I do believe Ari is sincere and is pursuit for love I think every single lead wants it like in people like oh like you don't become the lead with the pressure of knowing that everyone who watches the show expects you to fall for it and not want it like it's terrifying I mean I was terrified that it wouldn't work out for me I desperately wanted it to work out you know and so I definitely believe he's sincere in that I mean I don't I think you

You make a good point there. I don't think Chris or the show would have a lead who they didn't believe really wanted to find somebody because that could blow the whole show up. And so I think every lead we have to expect, hey, they really care. I think Ari cared maybe so much because he feels like this is maybe his last chance. And it's not. We know that. But I think the pressure of all this felt like that to him.

I don't know about that. I mean, again, I don't think, I think if Ari didn't become the bachelor, I think he'd be fine. I don't think anyone becomes the bachelor because they think this is their, they'll never find love in the real world. That's, I think he feels, once you get asked to be the lead, there's just an immense amount of pressure on the expectation of what that is. And I think, you know, the show took a risk asking R to be the bachelor, and there's immense amount of pressure on that. And I think, and so if nothing else, yeah, like, listen, if. it's an opportunity to meet someone and I think Ari takes it very seriously

and he wants it to work out like every lead does I don't know if he wants it more or less than any lead before him and I don't know if it has anything other than to do with that's the world he agreed to be a part of and that's the expectation of the show I don't think that in any way makes it insincere and I you know

I mean you're not wrong I think you're actually spot on I realized last night watching the episode that Ari was not one of those going to take many risks and do you do you want to know why why is that because on his one-on-one date with crystal they went back to scottstale and they visited his apartment and as they walked into his apartment they walked into his closet and his closet if you paid close attention was completely from shoes to helmets to his shirts color-coded i mean i'm not kidding you need to watch this back

everything was color-coded which tells me one of two things he has a dark side Or the man knows what... American cyclistyle? Yeah. Or the man knows what he wants and he knows how to represent his wardrobe. I actually have my closet color-coded so I cannot, you know... Which is a lot of cardigans, apparently. Dresses like Mr. Rogers.

Who? Me or him? He does. No, I wondered that, too. His wardrobe is not risque in itself. So I wanted to bring that up. I did notice his closet was color-coded. One situation is The Bachelor that I never knew how to do well. I don't know if anybody knows how to do it well,

but it also really affected me and my experience was the breakups, the saying goodbyes, the moments where you have to give no explanation, but you're asking somebody to leave. Tonight we saw Ari at the Rose ceremony say goodbye to somebody. She walks out, no hug, no goodbye, no, hey, this has been great. she walks out and wants an explanation and all Ari can do is try to hug her which was awkward in itself

and Ari probably not a great decision there but hey again what do you do how do you recommend any bachelor or bachelor at saying goodbye and does Ari owe her an explanation I thought that was a great TV moment it was a classic case of you can't fire me I quit

because she was like well I don't even like I'm not even upset about you I just don't want to leave. I have friends here. And I have friends here, which is probably true. But, like, she just felt they need to say that. I give Ari a lot of credit because, like, that is, you think you said it best. It's an incredibly awkward situation.

And so you're just so used to people kind of, like, quote, unquote, doing what they're supposed to do and just like, I'm going to, like, give you an insincere hug and say thank you and wish you the best of luck and you're going to leave. But she didn't. And it's just like, in that moment, Ari has to decide, what do I do? which, like, there's no playbook. And, you know, I think we'd all like to think we would do the same thing, but, like, I don't know. It could just be, like, this awkward.

Like, I don't know. Do I make it worse by going to ever? So I give Ari a lot of credit by going and make an attempt. And, you know, whether you tried to hug her or whatever, like, I don't, that's not on Ari. That's just, like you said, it's a very awkward situation. She, I thought, had another self terribly. Yeah.

Showed an immense amount of immature or charity. And, like, I thought it was really telling that she was like, I've never been broke up with before. And, like, clearly, I don't know how old this girl is, but I'm guessing she's incredibly young and very immature and has a lot of growing up to do. And for future, for future cast members, I think it's important to remember that most people don't get a lot of memorable moments or air times, but your most memorable moment is always going to be unless you get engaged when you get dumped.

And it has a chance to be either a great moment or a bad moment. I've, you know, kind of, you could argue, have been on the side of both moments. I mean, but, yeah, she clearly did not show any type of maturity or gracefulness. and her breakup, and for future people go on, is when you get dumped, you know, that's your moment to shine and show something. That's it. I mean, that's it.

She didn't handle herself very well, which was fun to watch. You know, the goodbye is always hard on The Bachelor because there isn't a lot of explanation. There's not a lot of lead up to it. Pretty much, for the most part, you're saying goodbye for whatever reasons, and you just hope that there's an understanding

that, hey, this show has $25,000, the 30 people on it. I'm only going to hopefully end up with one. There's going to be a lot of goodbyes. I don't want to say goodbye either. This isn't the fun part for me or the lead. Please make this as easy as possible. And if you want an explanation, maybe reach out later. But that moment, like you said, is your shining moment. You know what? Be cordial. Say your goodbyes. Keep your head held high. You're going to be fine. You're going to be okay. Well, let's let's be honest. at this point, Ari doesn't know any of these women. He knows Becca a little bit because he went on a one-on-one day with her.

He knows Christ a little bit. But other than that, he doesn't really know any of them yet. The hardest part about being The Bachelor sometimes is like you're always going to be drawn to a handful of women. And it's just natural. And it's you try to be open to get to know the rest of the women, but it's harder to do. And women are intuitive and smart, and they pick up on that. and you know so they they're they're kind of faking it too in terms of their level of interest for the lead until they get broken up with and they're like well i don't even like them And then they go home and they get on a group chat with all their early exit friends and like just talk crap about, you know, Ari and all the girls who are still there.

Like it happens every season. Every season. There's always an immediate group chat. I hate those group threats. I mean, for my season, one of the breakups that stood out to me the most was when Lauren Barr, this beautiful young lady from Oklahoma, said goodbye. She just wanted to leave. She wanted to go home. It wasn't for her.

It's a power move. It's a power move, but it also affected me because that was weak, I think, two and I was questioning myself now at that point, is this going to happen to me over and over and over again? Is this going to be a constant this season? Yeah, it's a fear.

Luckily, that didn't happen to me, but yeah, because you're you're told, that doesn't mean anything. It just means that maybe they that's maybe just, I'm sure there were plenty of girls who are like, he doesn't even like me, but I hate him. You know, who knows. Right? But like, that's the show. It's like you're told that you're the guy or the man,

And everyone's there, like, I can't believe it's you. And you're so great. And then, like, and all of a sudden, someone leaves? I mean, like, that would just mess with your psyche. You handle yourself well, then. Thank you. I appreciate that. It was a power move by that Lauren girl.

Like, you know, who is this like, who sincerely was like? I'm out. I'm out. This dude ain't that tight. Yeah, I'm gone. Listen, but also, like, you probably weren't giving her any time. And she probably knew it. And she beat you to the punch.

That's all. Yeah. I think for the exit where she told Ari, hey, I have a lot of friends here. I'm not that upset about you. In a sense is a power move as well. And so we got to give her little credit. I don't think so. I don't give her credit.

That was just like a weird. You can't fire me. I quit. So, Nick, to finish this up, then. On a scale of 1 to 10, how is Ari as the bachelor so far? I used to 8 to 10. I don't feel like making headlines. I think you don't feel like making headlines.

What else would we invite you on the podcast, Nick? Yeah, what's going on with you and Rumor Willis while we're at it? Rumors are a friend. Just everybody was talking about it because you posted a photo with her. Yeah, she's just a good friend. I mean, not Jess. She's a great friend. She's awesome.

You walked into that. Was she and you're dancing with the stars season? No. I gave you a 1 to 10. All you have to do is give a positive number and instead Amy just crushes you with. Hey, what's this gossip about? Oh, I got way more secrets than that. All right.

So, Nick, we want to go into one of our favorite segments. taking or reading emails from our listeners but before we do I want you to give me right now who's your top choice of cast members on the bachelor and who is someone on the bachelor right now that gives you hesitancy I don't know about hesitancy I'll start with but listen it's fun to watch the women who are creating good TV I mean I don't know if to give me hesitancy you know I don't think Lori is going to end up with crystal who's the other who's the the the young lady who's a mother who was first Chelsea. You know I think it's going to be

an entertaining show because like you have in this week you have a lot of personalities a lot of women who like Chelsea you watch episode one you're like oh here's your villain and then all of a sudden episode two you got Crystal and you're like oh here's another villain you know then you have no chill freaking out and then you set you have

some other other moments so I think it's going to be interesting none of these women I think really are probably going to win or capture Ari's heart but who knows I don't know if they give me hesitancy I hope there's more of it I hope they stick around for a while

in terms of you know Becca the both beccas I mean I think the Becca who had the one-on-one date she just seems like you know someone who again has some confidence she seems mature

they seem to hit it off you know again we have already talked about her sticking around I think we are on the same page that the other Becca well you know is too young and it will be kind of her fate but to me she's easily she's the only one who really stands out

I mean she's the own you know and I don't think that means either Ben and I want to meet Becca in that sense but she's a well there you go I mean you're fairly age appropriate but she's to me the only one who really stands out in terms of

I think in that yeah the rest I'm not don't I can't really remember I'm sure more it's early on so it's hard to have anyone stand out. So again, I think it says more about Becca standing out this early on just because she clearly has something going for in that sense. And she's probably just been that type of person who's always stood out. And I think as the season progresses, we'll get introduced to more

women and more personalities and their stories and things like that. All right. So I want to give my top girls. Number one, CN. She's an Ivy League grad. She got the group day rose. she's been a little quiet so far I find her absolutely beautiful and very very intriguing I'm going to go in order so I have a top five here

next is one that I don't know guys Nick doesn't want to create headlines but I might have to I think this Tia girl is something special which one's she she's raven guys you're really crushing my moment oh Raven's friend the one who the arm tattoo yeah

she's very very interesting funny, beautiful. I don't know. She might have a future. Let's not forget the original Becca. I'm moving on. Yeah. Brittany, the one from last week that I thought maybe went home.

There must have been another Brittany that went home. Brittany's great. Marique owns the restaurant. Stunningly beautiful. Here's one for you. No chill Bibiana. I mean, that girl, she's got something special. I know she's aggressive. I know she's fierce. I'm not saying it's bad. She just has no chill.

No, but I watch her and I say, girl, you get it. Like, you just keep causing drama and I'm going to keep watching. Man, you should have been the bachelor. Yeah, the original Becca, obviously is one of a kind. Original? One-on-one? Yeah, one-on-one Becca. Call her their original? Yeah, the original, the top dog. And then here's the ones that give me hesitancy. And I mean hesitancy in the sense of, I'm a little bit, like, it's early on. We don't know them fully. We've liked them at times. Maybe I haven't, and I'm a little nervous.

Chelsea, the mom, I thought episode two was one that I go, okay, I can see it now. She's great. She was nervous night one because she didn't want to tell her. She had a kid. Now that she said that we're going to start to see her real personality, and I think she might shine, but she still gives me hesitancy. McKell, you know, obviously just we didn't see a lot from her week two. What was she? She was the one that drove up in the fancy car on night one, flipped her hair around a little bit.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, she was in the news this week, apologizing for a picture she posted on Instagram years ago. Oh, yeah, yeah, McKell. Was it scandalous? It was inappropriately racist. Yeah, so what? What did she? Yeah.

I'll tell you later. And then we have Crystal. Crystal was one that I know we talked about a little bit ago. There's just something different there. And I don't know why she won't just be friendly and day Ari and chill a little bit. I actually will call her my no chill number two. She's just vocal fry. So that's what I got.

Top C&T of Brittany, Marique, and Bibby, Anna, and then the original Becca. Hey, everybody. Before we moving the emails, I need to tell you about Latote. Question for you. Are you wearing clothing that is old and looks worn out? because you don't have time to shop. I mean, we're all very busy. Luckily, we spaced out some time for Nick to get in the studio,

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L-E-O-T-O-T-E-D-com enter your code which is our code almost famous and always have something new to wear with fashion delivered right to your door check out La Tote Hey everybody let's read some listener emails I want to start here with one called

Suspicious in Seattle says so amped to watch RAC season, hoping the womanizer rumors would be put to rest. Well, to my surprise, Ari tagged the young woman on his Snapchat story in New York City. On New Year's Eve. On New Year's Eve. Between his and her Instagram, there were multiple pictures of them spending time together on New Year's Eve in New York City. One of hers was even captured calling him Daddy?

Oh, geez. Anyways, who is this? A bachelor handler? A friend? A date? I need to know. Is he really a changed man? or is this a sign that his venture didn't end with love?

I figured if anyone could get to the bottom of it, it would be producer, Amy. Producer Amy, what do you think? What's going on? I recognize the girl as somebody, like a producer or something. Yeah, she's a producer on the show. Oh, well, then. Yeah, they were in New York City for New Year's Eve. Yeah, because he was there for work promoting The Bachelor.

He was on Good Morning America the next day. She was there with him. Of course she's going to go and be his friend and hang out during that evening. It was nothing. It's a handler or producer from the show. They were just having a good time. Don't look too much into it. Okay, here's one from Skyler.

Ben and Nick. For the past few seasons, The Bachelors always seem to give the first impression rose to the women who don't get along with the other girls. The ones who are aggressive outspoken in know what they want. With the exception of Sean and Nick, Juan Pablo gave it to Charlene, Chris to Britt, Ben to Olivia, and now Ari to Chelsea. It makes me wonder, do producers recommend who to give the rose to? hmm and then bachelorette's seem to have a very good sense of the men in the beginning with the exception of Andy and Desre who both gave it to their runner-ups

Caitlin gave it to Sean, Jojo to Jordan, and Rachel to Brian just interesting just an interesting observation would like to hear from you guys thoughts on why this is well first off it's very clear Skyler women are more intuitive than men that's just true so of course they're going to give it to the right people and of course we're going to give to the wrong. I gave mine to Rachel. That's not a bad call. No, I mean, no, so to answer the question here, and I'll answer for Nick and I know,

the producers don't recommend, they can't recommend. Obviously, we don't know these women fully. We know what we've seen. And I think, as we talked about on last week's podcast, women that are a little more outspoken, a little more forward on night one, definitely come off as somebody more invested into the experience. And so I think our poll as the bachelor is going to be, okay, that woman seems to be here for the right reasons. And as a result, I want to make sure to invest in this relationship.

And to let her know that I care, Bachelorette's just a really smart. I don't know. Yeah, they've made some really good decisions. Now I read this email back. There's also, like, different reasons why people might give out the first impression rose. You know, a leader could give it to someone who finds intriguing, but they're not even sure if they could easily be more into other people and give someone else the first impression rows or vice. You know, or, you know, and some people could literally just say. say this is the person I like the most you know I mean that's why we're watching the show is you're

watching the whole story play out so from night one on who he's into first or who she's into first to the very end when we get the final conclusion of the show that's why we watch this perfect decisions won't always exist but the bleed tries I would assume very hard Nick on with the next email I think it's from Elizabeth from Elizabeth hey Ben and Nick have you all seen what the ladies who got sent home night one from RSEs and have created. See at the Rose Girls or at the underscore

Rose Girls on Instagram. They also have a YouTube channel. Really? I haven't fully investigated because I was too stunned and have to check in immediately and we see if all you, if y'all knew

and hope you could share your thoughts on the next podcast. The fact that the ladies sent home night one can now ride the fame terrain is unreal to me. This is adding a whole new element to the social experiment that is the bachelor.

how do you think this will affect the show in casting in the future thank you for sharing your thoughts in talents in broadcasting journalism podcasting blogging etc etc with the world best I don't think this is anything new I think it's just more of the same I think it's it's typical every every person who goes on the show I think more than anything is open to love but excited about this new experience it doesn't mean they're only going to be famous it just means they're going on for this thing and the people who get sent home early on especially night one are

it's hard it's it's it's it's certainly their egos that are certainly shot down um you listen it's it's silly yes and no they're not going to ride the fame train because they have none and no one cares about it they're not even almost famous yeah they're not even they're not remotely famous and certainly comes across as a little thirsty and you know lame and but there's there's some solidarity i think there's there's this hope and maybe strengthen number It's just like, whatever. I mean, not to be too, like, you know, not to be overly critical. Like, I think there's just a lot of disappointment.

And, yeah, they're trying to make the most of it. I don't think it is going to affect casting. This isn't the first time the women who got sent home early, like, tried to make the most of their experience. Or, man, I remember a hashtag that was the Rose Boys or something. It's not, yeah, exclusive to the women anyway. They're like, you're going to find people who go home early going on as many. podcast as they can possibly go on. I didn't even care.

It's just like, I don't go, you know, because they're just trying to maximize their time of which they didn't. They probably went into the show with a lot of hopes and dreams that, you know, immediately got crushed. So I'm not, you know, judging. It's not going to go anywhere. It's, it's typical. It happens every single season. I would just, I mean, my one, if I can give my advice would be, I agree. It doesn't, it's not uncommon.

However, they spent a lot of money on some videos. I watch these videos when I saw this email and I watched the videos back there's some high production value in them so I'm worried that they've all invested a lot of money and they're hoping to get a return out of it I would just advise anybody hey don't go on the show because you think

you're going to get famous from it it happens very rarely if at all do the luck involved there's a lot of luck involved there's a lot of being in the right place to the right time just do it because it's a cool experience but don't go into it thinking this is going to change your life

I've said it many times on this podcast the best advice I was ever given was do this whole experience to enhance a life you already had, not change your life completely. If you weren't making YouTube videos before, I wouldn't recommend doing it because of the show. Nick, I think we have one more email for you there.

From Tess. Hi, I'm 27 years old and perpetually single. I do my best to say positive and understand that timing is everything. Everything happens for a reason. Disagree with that. Know yourself first. Each year I get older,

the more the fear of being alone presses on me like not finding someone who is a real thing without settling. What advice do you have for myself and others like me who are feeling discouraged? Thank you for reading and keep doing what you're doing. Tess. Well, Tess, you're only 27. So first and foremost, I know a couple things that I kind of say, I get that you feel old because today is the oldest you've ever been,

but you're only 27. So when you're 35, you'll look back and think how young 27 felt. So you're not that old, so you'll be fine. Second of all, yeah, I mean, listen, I also say one thing that people forget when they have relationships don't work out is that if you're really, really, really lucky, and I think Alon stole this from me in his book, he got this from me. But if you're really, really lucky, at most, you'll only have one relationship your life that doesn't fail. One, that's the most. It's the most possible, unless, you know, someone dies. It's not necessarily a failure and you meet someone else.

but that's it. You can only have one. So the fact that you're 27 and you haven't found that one yet, it's not that big of a deal and in a good way. So just keep doing what you're doing. It'll eventually happen. Don't stress about it. It's probably the worst thing you can do.

And, you know, enjoy being 27. Have some fun. Make some bad choices. And then, you know, when you're 30 years old, you know, he'll come running. You know, the book that Nick just referenced to is By a Long Gale. It's called You're Not That Great. It's a great book. But neither is anyone else.

Alon is a producer on The Bachelor, and he is also one of the people that will usually sit there in those one-on-one interviews and dive to the heart of your fears and your insecurities. Go check out his book. It's great part. But I would agree. I just want to add to that. Let's start accepting singleness and saying there's actually a lot of benefit to it. You get to explore who you are better. You get a lot of time to process and think.

Your schedule is pretty much your own. without a few, you know, side activities. Singleness can be a very positive experience. And don't waste this time or this season of singleness because you're hoping for a relationship. I just think that's something I'm learning right now too is be in the present moment. Focus on where you're at now.

Become the person that you need to be for yourself so you can be that person for somebody else later. And don't compare yourself to others. I mean, I don't know if Tess, you know, has a circle of friends where they're all married and having kids already. And so even though she's only 27 and relatively young, she feels a lot older because everyone else is at different stages in their life. And that can happen. And if that is the case, get more friends. Yeah.

Yeah, and that's kind of the journey of life. And it's just an opportunity to learn about yourself. But I think it's just important not to stress yourself out and using. is an opportunity to, you know, and not maybe find new friends, but like, it is an opportunity to take advantage of, like Ben said, of being single and have new adventures, because even though maybe you want to get married and have a kid, you'll be the one person who's like, your friends live vicariously through you because you're doing all this fun, single and exciting things, and they're like, not. Yeah. Not to, you know, discourage that. You know,

one thing, I know you said. Grass is always greener. Yeah, grass is always greener is something that I think our generation needs to deal with and see that the shiny new thing isn't always the best thing, but we're always going to want the shiny new thing. Hey, one last email. This one is really interesting to me. And I think Nick and I, we got to prepare for a little tough love. I'm going to read it here. It's from Jessica. I've been in a relationship for three years with a man who I love. The relationship is, for the most part, great. For the most part, it's a relationship I've been, I've dreamt up, except that about a year into our relationship, my friend discovered him on plenty of fish, which is a dating app, and Ashley Madison, trying to find other girls.

I was devastated. I planned to break up with him. He begged me not to when I confronted him and promised me he would never cheat and that he will never go on another dating site. At that time, we were in a long-distance relationship, and I found out I was moving the same city as him. So I chalked the whole thing up to we were only together on weekends, so it would be different now that we were in the same city. Fast forward four months later, I snoop through his email and found that he had signed up for another dating site. He said his account was hacked. Fast forward another nine months after this,

and I snoop through his phone, and he had Googled Best Hookup site. And then he was looking for hookups on Craiglist and plenty of fish. I love him so much. Of course you do. The thought of breaking up is so sad. I'd like to mention that he literally treats me like a queen,

and I don't think he's actually cheating because we're together so often. I don't think he could but I wonder if he's addicted to seeing what else is out there should I end this please help

Nick take this away be honest because I think this email requires honesty Jessica if I were to sum up my advice into one word it would be run listen we've all been there

no judgment I get where you're coming from I think your ego is messing with a little bit. This guy is a terrible human being. She's been with him for a long time. It sounds like he checks a lot of the boxes of things that she wants. And there's probably a lot of great things about the relationship. But she's right now deciding to ignore a lot of the terrible things.

And maybe there's a lot of fears of like, you know, the fear of being single. Like the fear of admitting to yourself, this is not the perfect relationship that you thought it was. There's some things with your ego in terms of I don't think he's capable of cheating on me. Of course he's capable of cheating on you. Like, everyone, like, everyone is capable of being cheated on. You know, no one's so great or special that, you know, someone wouldn't possibly cheat on them. It's happened to the best of us.

So I think just it's tough to admit that to yourself. Yeah, it was a long-distance relationship. This guy is aggressively trying to meet other women, and you're just his side girl, to be honest, Jess. And you're his comfort. You're his Netflix and chill. You're the girl he gets to go on the date. with and pretend like there's a lot of guys out there who like I don't get it it's too much

effort why guys will like have a relationship and still like date other women because it's too hard to make a successful relationship work but some guys do and so you're his Netflix and chill person you're the person who he does relationship things with and he gets to meet other women so this is a toxic and terrible situation that you're in that won't last and if I can give you any final thoughts of hope is that I can promise you one thing I know you won't end up with this guy you might make a terrible decision get engaged you might make an even worse terrible decision and get married and you might make an even worse terrible decision like have a family with them but eventually this relationship will end hopefully sooner than later when it does end

and time passes you will look back and be mad at yourself that you weren't more honest with yourself about the reality of the situation and you will cry and laugh but most importantly just be happy he's no longer in your life that much i can guarantee you that was beautiful i that was honest it was that was and and i think jessica just to add on the nick is listen to to nick i mean i think that's coming from a place where we have this unadulterated view of where this relationship is we have this view from from a very high level based on an email and what nick is saying is don't you can like and you can love somebody but when you see the signs like like this, especially when they're this

deep and dark and they're this consistent, it's time to go no matter how much it hurts. But also, listen to yourself, give yourself some credit in the sense that, and this is advice for anyone, at the moment you feel the urge to check someone's messages,

emails, texts, or anything, the relationship's over. Because there's a reason why you're doing it, and maybe they're not necessarily doing anything, but there's something toxic about the relationship that's making you do something that that you're better than. So listen to yourself.

There's something a part of you is telling you there's something wrong here. Your ego is telling you that it's not. You know, because your ego doesn't want you to think that you can be in this terrible relationship or be duped by this asshole or guy or just jerk or whatever.

But listen to yourself because there is a part of you that is telling you the right thing to do. The urge to email and ask these questions. You know the answer. And I think you just have to have the courage and the guts to do the right to do the right thing. Hey, everybody, this has been an incredible podcast. I want to thank Nick for coming in and hanging out with us today. Yes, please. What an awesome opportunity for us on this podcast to have Nick in here to talk about The Bachelor, to break down The Bachelor, because I think just like Ari did, Nick took this

experience very seriously. It was close to his heart and his life has been affected in because of this show. And so, Nick, thank you for coming in and you're sharing your heart. heart with us and talking about a show that you and I have both participated in. Also, please keep those emails coming. We enjoy them. We need them. I love reading through them. This is a fun segment for us.

So email us at Ben and Ashley at iHeartMedia.com. I want to thank our sponsors, Sleep Number, Latote, and BioClarity. Finally, Ash will be back next week. And we'll break down episode three of Ari's season, which is actually season for episode three for this podcast. How crazy. Will we ever leave you alone? I don't think so. I hope we don't. Until then, I've been Ben and you've been Nick. Hey, thanks everybody. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcasts on IHartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.