The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - S5 #3 Bachelorette No More

Episode Date: April 10, 2018

The Almost Famous Podcast finally welcomes Rachel Lindsay to the show! She gives us an update on planning her wedding, including who her dream wedding singer would be, and she lets us know her thought...s on the recent break-ups in Bachelor Nation, and if she thought Dean and Lesley were truly meant to be   Then, by listener request, Sarah Herron calls in to give an update on what’s going on in her world.   And after that, in a new edition of “Ben Bitches”, he takes on “The One-Uppers”! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast with IHartRadio. Hey, Ashley. Hi, Ben. I'm so excited for this podcast. It is going to be absolutely magnificent. We have a huge guest. Rachel Lindsay is on the Almost Famous Podcast for the first time ever. What in the world?
Starting point is 00:00:19 How have we not had the Bachelorette on? That is absolutely wild. But we are lucky to have for this time. We're going to talk about in this podcast some crazy stuff. We're going to talk again. We're going to ask Rachel, her thoughts on the Ari April Fool's joke. And we're also going to talk about some really interesting things that happened this week.
Starting point is 00:00:36 It was not the week of love for Bachelor Nation. It was actually the week of breakups. Clair and Benoit and Dean and Leslie are broken up. And I'm also really excited to hear your thoughts, Ashley, and Rachel's thoughts, on who was going to get married first within Bachelor Nation? We have the list here of successful couples so far in Bachelor Nation. Caitlin and Sean, Jojo and Jordan, Ari and Lauren, Raven and Adam, Rachel and Brian. Rachel will give us her thoughts on everything, everything going on in the love life of Rachel and
Starting point is 00:01:05 Brian, but also her thoughts on who's going to be married first? Yeah, and who wants a TV wedding? And what about this weird three-way wedding shenanigans that there's been rumors floating around about like how they would cram all the weddings into one wedding special? That doesn't seem very personal. So we'll see if Rachel would ever be down to do something like that. But I know everybody wants to talk about the Dean and Leslie and Claire and Benoit breakup. It is totally uncuffing season.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Channing and Jenna are no longer as well. All very sad. I can't say that I didn't see this coming, especially with Claire and Benoit. I mean, I just feel like that girl was up on stage and she did not know what they're to say yes or no. But she had to say yes because she didn't want to hurt the guy so publicly.
Starting point is 00:01:50 I think she should have said no. We'll ask Rachel to pay. And Rachel has never held back honesty. You know, she's always been honest. So I'm excited to hear her honest thoughts. I also need to get an idea of what the heck is decoupping. Decuffing. Oh, decuffing.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Cuffing season, the winter. That's when, like, you find a relationship and then you decuff come the springtime. Oh, geez. I'm so far behind on this. Anyways, Ashley, let's get this thing started. How was your weekend? The master's weekend. And you're back in your old childhood home right now, I see.
Starting point is 00:02:26 It was absolutely incredible. Actually, I'm not kidding, like, I could not have picked a better way to spend time with my dad, not only because it was a bucket list item for the both of us as a father and son experience, but the masters in Augusta National just do something different when it comes to your experience. And I kind of, I've been thinking about it a lot since we got back. I was like, what makes that place so special? Outside of the tradition and outside of the fact that it is one of the most historic championships in all sports, what really makes a guest associate special? And the only thing I can come up with is they really care about the spectator experience. They really make the spectators feel special. And the way they do this is by keeping things so simple.
Starting point is 00:03:18 So, for example, this is one of the coolest things. And I know you'll be a fan of this because we've talked about before. There's no phones. Yeah, no phones. That's it. Yeah. And so once you're inside the course, you're focused on one thing, the people that you're with and the people that you're watching and the tournament itself. And so everybody, and here's the second thing that I think makes it unique is there's no hierarchy when it comes to seating. So it's a golf tournament. And most golf tournaments have your suites and they have your special like areas that are graded off to people that pay a little more money or that sponsor the tournament. And that's all good and great. But what's cool about, the masters is that there are no sweets and so unless you're a member of augusta national which not many people are then everybody from wayne gretsky who walked the fairways with me to will feral to myself and my dad we all sit and stand in the same area and because there's no phones nobody bothers anybody yeah because you're not asking for pictures or anything like that yeah exactly
Starting point is 00:04:18 it reminds me of i the only way i can explain this is it reminds me of college uh i don't know if listening or if you actually remember this. But for me, I went to Indiana University, an amazing school. But the Greek system was big. And then having the nicest apartment was kind of big, you know, your junior and senior year of college. And I missed, I found, I found out, you know, probably my junior year that I missed the dorms because the dorms were one place where everybody's equal. Oh my God. The dorms were the greatest time of my life. That was my whole, my freshman year in the dorm was the best. Like, those are the kind of friends that you only make in that weird environment. where you're sharing everything
Starting point is 00:04:55 and nobody knows the background that came from and you're just assimilating into like the same world and it doesn't matter if you're cool or a loser in high school all the sudden you're you could be anything you want to be. Yeah, exactly. You're spot on. I mean, I don't know if the dorms are appreciated as much as they should be. I think that's the coolest part about them is nobody knows your backstory.
Starting point is 00:05:20 Nobody knows how much money you come from. Nobody knows if you don't come from any money. You're all living in the same place. You're all doing the same thing. You're all new to this world that you're trying to figure out. So, you know, for those listeners who haven't gone to college yet, look forward to the dorms, take advantage of that year because it's exciting. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:05:37 For those of us who have gone to college, some of us, you know, we graduated years ago. Those experiences where everybody feels equal, again, don't exist often enough. And even though the master's, yes, is a luxury. And even though it is a nice place, it allowed that feeling once again. From the Masters to my workout this morning at Fierce 45 in Denver, Colorado, I had people coming up to me. And I'm not kidding. My dad even said, he goes, I've never heard so many people compliment you on your
Starting point is 00:06:09 podcast. And people at the Masters were coming up. No way. I guess, yeah, I had a husband come up and ask for a picture and an autograph for me because his wife loves. This was on Wednesday. You can take your camera on Wednesdays before the tournament started. He came up and he said, can I get your autograph?
Starting point is 00:06:28 My wife is a huge fan of Ashley and you in the podcast he do today. This morning at my workout, somebody's a huge fan. So Ashley, you got a lot of fans out there. And listeners, thank you for listening. And thank you for telling us you like the podcast. We love doing it. We say that all the time. But sometimes because it's through a podcast or it's through a mic, we don't hear a lot of feedback.
Starting point is 00:06:49 So please give us your feedback. back. Positive or negative at Ben and Ashley at iHeartMedia.com. Not only do people love the podcast, and we appreciate that, but they also love, and honestly, I had people and everybody listening who are fans, you know who you are. They came up to me, and they mentioned specific sponsors of the podcast that they've bought their products and enjoyed. And this is one of our favorite.
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Starting point is 00:09:05 And with that, Ashley, you are a huge fan. I am a huge fan. Bachelor Nation is a huge fan. We have the past Bachelorette on this podcast today. Rachel, are you out there? I'm here. What's up, guys? Hey. I love to say past Bachelorette.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I'm so happy to give someone else the crowd. Wait, that's so funny that I was going to ask you that. Does it feel weird that come a couple weeks from now, you're not going to be the standing Bachelorette. You're going to have somebody else. It's like Miss America or Miss USA. You have to hand over the crown. And I always imagine that must be a really sad, complicated feeling.
Starting point is 00:09:49 It's not sad at all. I think people told me that it was going to be sad. But I think I'm just so excited for her and it's so well-deserved that I'm happy to give it to her so she can go out and find her friends. It's not a sad feeling at all. Maybe if I didn't like her, it would be different. Yeah. Yeah. You've got a good, a good bachelor at falling you up.
Starting point is 00:10:10 You did a great job to kind of pave the way for her. But Rachel, I can tell you that when Nick was announced as a bachelor, I was still with Lauren at the time. and I think we both took the deep breath, and it was like sweet relief because we thought, we thought, you know, obviously things have changed and you could ask questions on other stuff. We thought, okay, for the first time in a year, I am not going to be identified as The Bachelor and maybe you'll have to let us know how this goes for you. Maybe for the first time of the year, you'll no longer be, oh, you are the Bachelorette. Maybe you are, you know, whatever is next in your life. Yeah, no, it's a great feeling. I want to be Rachel.
Starting point is 00:10:50 I know Ashley has a ton of questions for you and I'm going to let her have at it here but Rachel if you could help us out here you know it's been a little while since we've talked and I know that you've stayed active and busy but who is Rachel today? Like what if you now is the Bachelorette just say for example no longer people
Starting point is 00:11:11 will identify you as the Bachelorette who do you hope people identify you as and who are you today? This is such a great question. I don't think I've quite got gotten it like that. But I would say that Rachel is a fiance. She is an attorney. And she's in the sports now, which is something that I did prior to this whole being an attorney and being Bachelorette. My major's in sports and went to law school for sports. So I'm getting back into that.
Starting point is 00:11:38 So right now I would identify as a sports broadcaster. But that, that is me. You went to law school for sports, like sports law, like entertainment law? Yeah. Yeah, sports entertainment law. So what do you want to do with that broadcasting? Do you want to be like a straight sports reporter or do you want to bring a law element into it? Well, I always thought that I would be behind the camera until, you know, I participate in this journey. So now I'm kind of like, all right, well, I think I can do the whole broadcasting thing. I'd rather be in studios than sidelines. And I would love to bring in a legal aspect to it. There are sports legal analysts, but you don't really see females in that role.
Starting point is 00:12:20 So I'm hoping to bring that in as well, but also talk about current affairs what's going on in sports, the player outside of the court or the field. And I'm working on a podcast right now to actually bring that all to fruition. Ooh, cool. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Yeah, it'll be, so there's a company out of San Francisco that moved to Dallas called Chat Sports, and they do audio podcast. but they also do video-produced.
Starting point is 00:12:47 So I'll be doing the video-produced podcast. I'm not sure which we're going to do it through iTunes or YouTube. But I will be called one-on-one sports talk with Rage, and I'll be talking about current affairs of sports, the legal aspect, the enterprise, mental health, just every topic in-depth, along with just what currently is going on in sports. So I think it'll be exciting. You know, man I'm the only one watching sports these days.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Women are too. And so I think that there's a platform for it, and I'm excited. I know that you were talking about, yeah, wanting to use the podcast as a platform to teach, teach women sports and then, like, gear sports towards female interests. Is that correct? Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think that sports, I mean, it's not only an interest of mine, but at the same time, it helps me a lot of my career. And I'm invited to lunches just because, like, I can talk sports with the guys or even in my relationship. current and past. It's great that we can talk about, like, sports, and I have to share that
Starting point is 00:13:50 in common with my significant other. And I think that there's a disconnection that you have to know that the X's and O's and the ins and out of the game. You really don't. And so I just kind of want to help people be caught, well, not people, but women also be conversational when it comes to sports. Rachel, are you back to the courtroom? Are you working, or is this kind of a new career path for you? No, I'm actually still working. I'm really fortunate that my firm allows me to be flexible so I work a lot of times remotely part-time like I'm actually working now I'm on a road trip with Brian from Philadelphia or from Penn State and I have my computer in my lap and I'm working on a motion so I actually get to work remotely but then when I am in Dallas I am in the
Starting point is 00:14:30 office so I am taking depositions so I'm in the courtroom for hearing so yeah I do both it's a lot are you guys both living in Dallas yeah yeah Brian moved to Dallas pretty much once he was announced We went to Miami, practice his stuff, and then he moved to Dallas. Is he still working as a... Is he still working as a chiropractor? Yeah, he's about to actually join a new practice, which is exciting.
Starting point is 00:14:56 And, yeah, so that will... We haven't, like, officially announced that yet or anything, but he'll be starting with a new practice in Texas. Do you find it... I mean, I know that the two of you have been a success story. We're going to consider you a success story. We want to dig into that here later on the question in for you.
Starting point is 00:15:17 We have a ton of questions about relationships and about some of the breakups that have happened recently in Bachelors and kind of get your thoughts on that. But have you found in your careers or your personal life, has the fame of this whole thing or the two of you being a famous couple? Has that affected your careers? Has it affected your life as a couple? Are you able to kind of isolate that? I would say that it's affected our lives as a couple.
Starting point is 00:15:42 couple. I think we were at the perfect time in our lives where it was easier for us to transition back into our careers and what it is that we want to do. I think that if I were younger, I wouldn't have been able to handle the fame along with my career. But I also have to attribute that to my law firm who's allowed me to be flexible and come in and out and have a home to come back to. So that, that has helped me a lot. But as far as it affecting my career, I will say that when I do trials, so I am concerned when it comes to picking a jury that that can actually affect me putting on a trial for my client. I haven't encountered that yet, but I'm very fearful of that because you have to ask the jury, do you know me? How do you know me?
Starting point is 00:16:29 Well, your opinion of me, you know, like prohibited you from being able to, you know, give a fair verdict in this trial. Like, I'm afraid that, you know, people will be looking at me as Rachel the Bachelorette and not be able to. to separate that from me being an attorney. That is... I don't know. I haven't crossed that bridge, but we'll see. That's a great point. So is that something that makes you want to stay away
Starting point is 00:16:49 from, like, the actual courtroom for a couple years, you think? No, no. I love being in court. I mean, people don't go to trial anymore. I'm fortunate that my firm does. But I love... It's like game and day and everything that you're doing
Starting point is 00:17:03 before is pressing you for that game. So I love being in trial. So you basically are an athlete. Your, you know, law is your sport. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to start saying that. I'll give you credit for that. Thanks. All right, well, as much as we love career talk, we do want to get gossipy as well. My first question for you is, who do you think, my first question, gossipy? Will, is, of these bachelor couples, which one do you think will get married first?
Starting point is 00:17:33 Caitlin and Sean, Jojo and Jordan, Ari and Lauren, Raven and Adam, or you and Brian? Brian and me I hope it's Brian and I are the ones that get married first But I mean If I'm if I'm reading You know the rumors and everything
Starting point is 00:17:51 It sounds like it's going to be Ari and Moran It sounds like they're like pushing Really hard to get married first But I would say who I really think is going to get married Right Me and Brian Do you advise Rachel I mean, I think you and I can talk about this here for a second.
Starting point is 00:18:12 I have a couple of thoughts. Do you advise Ari and Lauren, no matter how successful and happy they are? Because I think they're probably very happy and very much in love. And that's great. But do you advise them to get married so quickly? Because I know when I got off the show and I was excited and everything was going well, like my relationship, we were pushing to get married as quickly as possible. And then all of a sudden, not because of anything at this point major happening.
Starting point is 00:18:37 It's just, we took a step back, and we actually found it beneficial to kind of take a deep breath. You know, Brian now have been together for a year. You've taken some time. Do you recommend that? Are you telling Ari and Lauren just go for it? No, I mean, I definitely recommend taking a break. I remember I was talking to Jojo, and she was so excited in Jordan were, and they were ready to make these things to get married. And then all of a sudden, you know, reality hit, like you said, and they wanted to take their time and get the only thing.
Starting point is 00:19:07 other and establish the foundation of your relationship. And that was really important for Brian and I. So I personally would advise Ari and Morris to slow down a bit because everything's been so fast and it's kind of caught up in the clouds and they're just enjoying, you know, the roller coaster of everything. It's really not a roller coaster because everything's kind of going up. So I would just wait before we kind of plateau a bit and you can get to know each other in real life away from the show and the attention of everything.
Starting point is 00:19:36 I would completely agree that. It's tough. Let's be super honest. Just total rawness. You want a TV wedding, right? Yeah. Great. Thank you, Rachel. Just say it. Let's just say, yeah, because for most of the reasons,
Starting point is 00:19:56 not because it's like I really want to be at TV. I do feel like it's a full circle moment and people are invested in your love story and they want to see what's going on. So yes, I mean, if I have a preference, I would prefer a TV wedding. Also, you get paid for it, and it's free. Well, that doesn't hurt.
Starting point is 00:20:16 It doesn't hurt. I mean, Rachel, there is nothing wrong with admitting you want a TV wedding. I know that when we're in the talks to do that, I mean, it's such a cool package that you get. I mean, how many people can get offered to, hey, it's a free wedding that will help you throw on and it will be magnificent. So if that is an opportunity for you, and that is something that you and Brian want, then congratulations, because I am completely in support of that. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Yeah, I mean, it's just why would you say no? I mean, unless maybe you have your own personal reasons or just something you just really want to keep privately. But you've already put so much of it out there once a wedding. You know, it's not like it's another nine or ten weeks. It's wonderful. Yeah. My parents always told me that when I get married, that they would recommend, yeah, I mean, back in the day it was either a lope because weddings are great, but they're stressful or do a super small wedding. But I always wanted kind of a bigger wedding.
Starting point is 00:21:20 So the fact that you could do this and you have a whole team of people in support and backing you up, you know, yes, I understand some people might not be in for it. They have their own criticism of it, but hey, I can't wait to watch. I know this is silly. Thank you. I know that there was some rumor that they wanted to do a three-way wedding between Jojo and Jordan, Caitlin, Sean, and you guys. And I think that is the only thing that I'd be like, not so sure about that. Did you hear about that rumor? They come to you with that option? Yeah. They didn't come to me with that option, but I did hear the rumor and I was very vocal about it because that's something, I mean, you have to have your boundaries, right?
Starting point is 00:21:59 And that's something I would absolutely say no to. And I think, you know, Caitlin and Jojo would say the same thing. Nobody, you don't want to share that day with someone else. I have two sisters. I wouldn't want to get married with them. See, if they wanted to do a three-way special where it was like two hours and you got to see three weddings, three separate weddings, I can understand that. But you can't just cram you all down one aisle. Yeah, it takes away from the seriousness of a wedding.
Starting point is 00:22:22 And I think people would think that our relationships were a joke if we did that, honestly. And they're not. Right. Okay. So you're prepping for a wedding right? We have a lot of listeners out there who we talk about breakups and we talk about successful relationship. This is a very relational-focused podcast. A lot of our listeners love to get advice and also love to get the inside scoop so they can feel like they can relate with people in Bachelor Nation.
Starting point is 00:22:51 What has been the hardest part for you and Brian? Honestly, I mean, with no judgment here. We've talked pretty openly. What has been hard in your relationship since you guys have gotten together? Well, one, just the fact is that everything is so public, and, you know, we had a lot of, like, scrutiny after it was over with and the finale and everything. So it was really hard to separate that and know what we have and stay true to each other. And I've spoken about that at length that that was really difficult afterwards. But I also think that just two people coming together for the first time, we're both in our 30s, established.
Starting point is 00:23:29 in that way and then blending our lives together, you know, like that takes work and you're outside of the fantasy of the show and reality hits hard and fast. So, you know, we really had to work on blending our lives together. Would you be open to telling us what one stressor in your relationship has been? You know what? I've learned a lot about myself. I'm more type A than I'd like to admit. And I didn't realize that until I had someone else living with me. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm really, like, anal about certain things. And so I've had to kind of, like, calm that down a bit. Ryan's so chill.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Like, he's, like, I'm the issue. If there was one, it would be me. He's more chill, so he's definitely, like, calmed me down and softened the up of it. It's a good balance. I mean, I think that's what's the craziest thing about being in a serious relationship, especially one when you've committed to each other. You learn so much. personally. I mean, there were so many moments where I was like, I never realized I had the
Starting point is 00:24:33 insecurities or the reaction. I was telling Ashley a couple weeks ago on the podcast that I found out my relationship that my reaction towards things was so incorrect and negative. So when something would bother me, I would have these like freak out moments and then 10 minutes later be like, what the heck did I just do? You don't realize it until you have somebody else that you care about that you're trying to make their life better as well. to when it comes to the light of just what we have to work on. But that's the beauty of relationships. You make each other better.
Starting point is 00:25:06 Yeah, and I would definitely say that Brian and I have a really good balance. We have a lot in common, but then we also, like you said, there are things that we handle differently. And it's taken time to learn how we react to different situations and then just working through that. And it's really about having a willing attitude to want to work those things out. And I think that we have really good communication and we've been able to do that.
Starting point is 00:25:30 You know, it's not always sunshine and blue skies, but like at the end of the day, I would say it is. Well, speaking of things not being sunshine and rainbows, we just recently had two big Bachelor Winter Games breakups this week, Claire and Benoit and Dean and Leslie. Rachel, did you see these coming? Maybe Ben and I are too close to the situation. Did y'all not see it coming?
Starting point is 00:25:53 I saw both of them coming. Okay. I definitely saw Claire and Benoit coming. Okay. I definitely saw it because it just felt like what I spoke about earlier, the whole fantasy and getting wrapped up in things. And I think that that's the mistake a lot of the couples make. You start fantasizing about things and you don't think about how they work in the real world.
Starting point is 00:26:16 I never thought Claire and Binwa were going to work. Now, Dan and Leslie, I actually thought they were a really good match for you together. I thought that they had, they seem to have a lot of the same interests, like personalities that messed really well together. And I thought that they were going to work out. Like, I didn't think that they were going to be running down the aisle anytime soon. But I definitely thought that they were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend for a while. So I was sure that it ended so quickly.
Starting point is 00:26:46 That's pretty much my thoughts on it, too. I thought Dean and Leslie would be together for a while and they were each other's forever person. I don't think he was going to lead to marriage. But I thought it would be maybe a couple more months. with Claire and Benoit I feel like in a lot of ways Claire and I were in similar boats and I kind of just vibed her during that live show
Starting point is 00:27:04 when she got proposed to and I just think she was like oh my goodness we are not here yet and I can just sense I could just sense there was a lot of worry there and a lot of doubt and she just you know
Starting point is 00:27:17 what was she supposed to do? Say no to him on a live TV show yeah you think so I think so Ben you think so Yes. 100%. It's worse for you to get his hopes up
Starting point is 00:27:29 and think that now he's planning this future with her when she had these doubts. Just say, you don't have to say a heart to know, but maybe like, oh, my gosh, it's all of a sudden let's think about it. I just don't believe in building people up, you know, just to bring them down. When you know you're not sure on what you want to do, aka art. Yes. I mean, Rachel, I think you're spot on. I think it would have been hard.
Starting point is 00:27:55 I think it would have made things awkward for the time being, but it would have added clarity to where they're at. Any time, I mean, okay, so Ashley and I both participated in Winter Games. You're at Winter Games, Rachel. You're closer to the situation the most. Anytime there is a couple announced on a live show and everybody that would have participated in the experience is shocked in the audience, and then there's a proposal.
Starting point is 00:28:21 I say that is an odd way to enter in. I mean, I was surprised that they were even dating. I had no clue that there was even chemistry there. Now, Dean and Leslie are a little different. I got to take a trip with him to Honduras. And they kind of had, they have this wonderlust. I think that's the right word, right? Yeah, they totally have wanderlust, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:39 They have the relationship that we can all look at, or at least I look at, and I'm envious of because they just kind of float through life and they're so into each other and both, you know, physically. And you could tell they had a connection on an emotional, level and you just look at them and you say that couple i don't know what this looks like long term but i've never seen anything like it like i've never seen two people so into just each other but there was that like sense of okay this is a good thing this makes sense but i i don't know and i don't want to speak for dean leslie here but like i think everybody around them thought okay
Starting point is 00:29:16 this is either going to be the absolute greatest relationship of all time and it's going to be fun and fruitful and multiply and make beautiful children, or it's going to end? We just don't know when it. And unfortunately, it ended. But with all that being said, in my opinion, Winter Games was still successful. It brought a bunch of really great people together. And I think it opened up everybody's heart to finding love. And, I mean, that's the beauty of this whole thing.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Even if it doesn't work out, at least now you're prepared for a relationship. And Ashley, I know, coming off of Winter Games, you said, I learned a lot about myself, just like Rachel was just saying, being in a relationship, she learned a lot about herself. Yeah, it's like that necessary stepping stone. I think a lot of us got that out of Winter Games. I want to kind of go back for a second. I loved Winter Games.
Starting point is 00:30:00 You did? I'm sorry. I just want to say I thoroughly, and I think I have a bit of a different perspective because I didn't watch Bachelor before. And to be honest, it's tiring to me to see the same storyline play out every season. You know, now that I'm in it.
Starting point is 00:30:16 So Winter games, to me, with a fresh air, to just see these different people and cultures coming together and we didn't know what each episode is going to be about. We had no idea because you guys had no idea because we'd never seen anything like it before. I thoroughly enjoyed that. Even when I was participating in it, I had so much fun being there. You're right. I think it was a success. We didn't even go into it knowing what rose ceremonies were going to be like.
Starting point is 00:30:42 We were like, are there going to be rose ceremonies and how do we eliminate each other? It was so good. Thanks. It will be, I think it's going to be something, and this is my prediction, it's going to be something that lasts a long time in the Bachelor world because it's different. And I think they have a lot of ability to be flexible with it. I'm actually wondering, Rachel, this is my prediction when it comes to Winter Games, because of the experience we all had and because we saw the format. I think next year, they're actually going to have couples, past couples come on. I think you and Brian might make your appearance on Winter Games.
Starting point is 00:31:13 And I would recommend you guys doing it because it was really that healthy and that much fun. See, that's what I'd want. I'd really want to see an amazing race-like show with former bachelor couples. Oh, I don't know you, guys. I don't know if I could do another reality TV show. Even if it only taped for 12 days? I know. That was nice.
Starting point is 00:31:35 I don't know. I just don't know. It's the scrutiny of your relationship, and then you just don't know how it's going to be shown. For example, like you heard me say with Claire and then-law, if I were Claire and I didn't know, I would have still. I don't know. And like the scrutiny we faced it with finale, people thought that I did it just to get a ring.
Starting point is 00:31:53 And it's like, you know, me for two seconds, you know, I'm never going to do something or just out of pressure. Yeah. So it's like that kind of scrutiny, I just don't know if I would want Brian and I have faced that again. So it would, I mean, never say never. It would just depend the setup of the show.
Starting point is 00:32:09 It's kind of like the couples that do couples therapy after the show. And then they're like, okay, wow, way to make our relationship look like something that it's totally. not but we did it for the money and we did it for the attention and it probably wasn't worth it in the end and that's what I don't want to do yeah hey Rachel you mentioned Ari and we got to talk about it for a second last week Ashley and I spoke about just Ari and kind of his progression after the Bachelor and during the Bachelor and how you can get it and and you understand you know we've
Starting point is 00:32:42 both been in it and sometimes as the lead of the show you can't do anything right no matter what you try to do, but it just felt like Ari did a couple things that I would have advised them not to do, including his April Fool's joke. Do you have an opinion on that? If you don't know about it, he posted a picture claiming that he and Lauren were pregnant and that Lauren was going to have a baby, and then it was later found out to be a joke. And people took exception to it. They did not like it. They found it controversial. What is your thoughts? Okay. I thought it was people were a bit, were overacting a bit. You know, I didn't think it was controversial. I didn't, I also didn't think it was funny, but that's just me. It just
Starting point is 00:33:22 didn't make me laugh. But I thought people, Ari, it's like too soon, Ari, you know, too soon. People are still upset. You know, people are happy for you because they do look very happy, but people are still upset, and I just think it was just too soon for him to pull off that kind of joke. Yeah. You know, vaccination isn't quite over it yet, quite over what happened. And so I think maybe they need to see Becca moved on and happy, and think you can make those type of joke. I like, I like your point of view, Rachel. Thanks. Thanks for agreeing with us in some way. Also, they were overreacting. Yeah, right? It was crazy. Yes, it was uncreative. It was totally uncreative. It totally not timely for them. But I mean, guys, it's so sensitive. But it wasn't
Starting point is 00:34:06 funny either. It wasn't funny. No, not all. I just didn't find it funny. No. It was awkward. It was, that's what I said. I never claim it funny. Like, I get that maybe, like, people definitely overreacted, but I also just don't understand, like, the joke of it. Like, I'm not confused. Yeah. Before we let you go, Rachel, can we end with some fun questions? Oh, I love these. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:31 If you could have any artists perform at your wedding, who would it be? Oh, my gosh. Well, okay. I know I'm supposed to be a quick answer, but I actually always said France, but he's no longer with us. Rest in peace. Yes, me rest in peace. I would say Justin Bieber.
Starting point is 00:34:50 Justin Bieber? Justin Bieber? That is a reach for ABC. You're going to have to think more like B-list artists than that. Wait, is Justin Bieber's a B-list artist now, right? That's right. I remember going into your season, people are talking about how your ultimate celebrity crash is Justin Bieber.
Starting point is 00:35:13 I really like Justin Bieber. I do. He's got swag. Yeah, I'm not ashamed. Would you have Chris Harrison officiate the ceremony? It depends. If it's in Dallas, I would have my pastor do it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:35:30 I think that's very respectable. Chris is second. You know, if I were to have a bachelor wedding, you know who I'd want to officiate it? Chris Jenner. That's cool. That would be cool. Not very Bachelor-related, though. I know they'll let you have your pastor,
Starting point is 00:35:50 like Sean Lowe had his dad, who's also a... Ben, Ben, still out over laughing about this. Ben, it's not going to be very funny when I tell you exactly who I'd want to officiate my Bachelor wedding, and that would be you. I want you to officiate it. Oh, that's so sweet.
Starting point is 00:36:09 Yeah. Actually, thank you. No, it's funny because they're her first... I don't know how Rachel's... initial like second response like it didn't take her any time to go chris jenner like i know like she had the answer planned actually i would absolutely love to fish you and that's actually like that means a lot and we got to talk about that offline would chris harrison be upset this is so hypothetical um i you know i don't know yeah you have to give him a role in it and i'm sure he would love
Starting point is 00:36:40 to be a part of it i mean your wedding is your day and i think anybody needs to understand that if anybody's going to get upset with you for being a little selfish on your wedding day like that's their own problem and i and we all know chris enough to know that he's confident enough in himself and his abilities to not be upset if somebody says hey i have a somebody else i'd like to because it would mean a little bit more yeah also bet that applies for an off camera wedding as well so would you officiate my wedding i would love to actually oh oh hey uh you know i'm actually i i was ordained during my season of The Bachelor and I still am able to get my license. So if you and Brian want to elope Rachel in Vegas, I think I can still sign the wedding license. That is really good
Starting point is 00:37:29 to know. That's so awesome. My last question, Rachel, is will you take Brian's last name? Yes. So be. It won't be fascinated. I will completely take his last name. Yeah, I like that too. Old fashion. All right. Well, Rachel, this has been a blast. You've been on here for like a half an hour. We appreciate that so much. Oh, thank you guys. I don't know what took me so long, but I'm here. Next time you're in L.A., come in studio. We'd love to have you. Maybe before The Bachelorette. Love it. All right. Thank you so much. I'll see you then. Bye. Okay. Thanks, guys. Bye. What an incredible, incredible guest. Yeah, that was so good. I love it.
Starting point is 00:38:13 love it. I mean, the one thing, uh, I wanted to ask her, though, uh, today, is this still cool to have the hashtags for your wedding? Uh, yeah, I think you know why it's cool to have hashtags for your wedding? Because all the pictures are organized on social media. So you can go and look at all your guest pictures with one hashtag. That, that makes complete sense. I've always, I've always found that creative and I always like to see like what people come up with. Um, I think the Bachelor world needs to get really creative because if every Bachelor contestant nowadays is a content creator, then their content needs to be, you know, on par with what they're stating. And so I'm excited to see what hashtags come out of these future weddings. I don't disagree with Rachel.
Starting point is 00:38:57 Ashley, honestly, I could see Caitlin and Sean, Jojo and Jordan, Ari and Lauren, Raven and Adam, and Rachel and Brian all getting married this year. And I don't know why these couples wouldn't. They've been together a while. Ari and Lauren, I'd probably recommend taking some time to take a deep breath. But this could be a, 2018 could be a season of weddings for Bachelor Nation. All right. Well, Ben, I actually have a question about timing and relationships, but I want to ask you that after we talk about one of our favorite sponsors, Sleep Number. Hey, I cannot wait to answer all of your questions, Ashley.
Starting point is 00:39:36 I'll answer anything you ever ask. But I do want to tell you all about sleep number. I have a sleep number. I promise I've had a sleep number for years. I don't want to get rid of my sleep number. I don't plan on getting rid of my sleep number. And if you don't have one and you're listening to this, you've got to get yourself a sleep number. Let me tell you about sleep number.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Maybe you've heard us talk about the amazing sleep number 360 smart beds. They're so smart. They respond to your every movement and automatically adjust to you. The great news is sleep number is introducing even more of these innovative beds. And their latest smart beds are even more comfortably priced. That's not comfortable as a bed. It's obviously comfortable as a bed, but it's comfortably priced. So many couples disagree on mattress firmness.
Starting point is 00:40:20 You're sleeping next to your partner. You're sleep next to your friend. Maybe it's in college and you guys have a nice sleep over, whatever you guys do in there. Not everybody likes the same firmness of a bed. Now you have an option to choose your own firmness. Sleep number beds let you choose your ideal firmness on each side. So it's just right for both of you. You can actually feel how it contours to your neck, shoulders, back, and hips, relieving
Starting point is 00:40:44 pressure points for more proper spinal alignment. There's even an adjustment for snoring. How great is that? Okay, so recently, I've been challenged by my doctor to start sleeping on my back. So with that, my sleep number level had to go down a bit. I need a little softer. If I had any other bed, I'm not able to lay on my back as comfortably. as I am now with a sleep number.
Starting point is 00:41:08 So I'm feeling better mostly because of my sleep number and the fact that now I sit on my back. I love my sleep number bed. My sleep number setting is 75. Can't wait to hear yours. Please email us to tell us yours. Come in now to see the latest sleep number 360 smart beds with introductory savings up to $300.
Starting point is 00:41:26 Plus special financing. Just asked the sleep number store for details. There are more than 550 number stores. Visit sleep number.com to find the store near you. You won't regret it. I promise, and you can sleep on your back, and who doesn't want to sleep on their back? Well, sleeping on your back is actually a beauty thing, and I need to start doing that because your face gets all wrinkly if you sleep on your side, which I do, but I don't know
Starting point is 00:41:48 how to help that other than getting a sleep number. Okay, that aside, I want to go back to my question, Ben, you've been talking about how you think all these couples are ready to get, and they're all, like, most of them are engaged other than Raven and Adam, and you think they're ready to get married this year. that comes that that that just leads me to my question which is how long do you think a couple should date then how long do you think a couple should be engaged oh my gosh that's such a good question actually i mean there's a thousand opinions on this i mean i have people really close to me who have dated for three months and got married uh including my parents um i have people close to me that have dated
Starting point is 00:42:27 for nine years i think there is i was just talking to somebody about this today there is a a maximum amount of time that you should date, I think. I think any couple, if your personal decision is that you want to pursue marriage, not everybody today is wanting to get married. I understand that. Let's just assume for a second, and when we're talking about this conversation, that every couple that we're speaking of wants to get married someday, okay? So if you're wanting to get married and spend your life with somebody and have that partner,
Starting point is 00:42:55 then I feel like you both need to make the commitment, that lifelong commitment to each other, within a at least a year and a half of dating. I think if you've been together a year and a half, you know if this is the right person for you. Now, I get that certain circumstances and events change that. You know, what if somebody's in the military? Maybe you aren't able to spend as much time with each other. That's, those are unique scenarios,
Starting point is 00:43:18 and that is down to the individual person. But I do think there is a maximum amount of time that people should date. Because I think over time, it just gets a little unhealthy, it gets a little weird. And I think, like it or not, society, puts that pressure on us. And anytime there's pressure, outside pressure, on a relationship, that has an effect. Even if you like it or not, it will have an effect.
Starting point is 00:43:39 So to clear up all of that, unfortunately, we live in a world that expects you to get married pretty quickly. Like, you might want to do that, especially if you're in love with the person. Now, a minimum amount of time, I mean, I feel like that sweet spot is like seven months. Six to seven months, I think you're really getting to know the person. You've seen their ups and downs. They've hit themselves, you know, they've showed you their best. for three months or so.
Starting point is 00:44:04 But that six to seven months range, you'll really get an idea. And how cool is it when you can look at somebody after like seven months and say, I'm so in love with you. Like, I so get this. I get who you are now and I want to spend my life with you.
Starting point is 00:44:17 That's a moment we can all look forward to. Now, for me, the only time I've ever done that was after a few months. You know, I don't know if I'd recommend that either. This is definitely a good topic for us to discuss further in some other episode. I also think that long engagements usually end up being confusing because you're like, oh, is this just an extension of dating
Starting point is 00:44:37 or is this just our period of time to plan our wedding? And I think it should actually kind of just be that period of time to plan your wedding. 100%. That is a great statement by you, actually. I think that engagement period is that next step to where you're no longer dating each other. You are starting to have those conversations that are like planning a life together. Right. What's the wedding going to look like? Where are we going to move? Can we start like figuring out strategically how our finances are going to match up? You know, where does your
Starting point is 00:45:06 debt, where's your debt at? Can I help pay you all? Like, that starts to happen. I'm actually really interested about this. It's a conversation has been coming up a lot. I would love to hear from our listeners. I think this is a great listener question. So anybody out there listening, even if it's a nice little short email, would be awesome to hear from you or maybe a review online on the iHeart app but if you're listening and you have an opinion on this uh please email us at ben and ashartmedia.com we really do want to hear from you even if it's a sentence or two please let us those your thoughts on kind of what's the time frame for dating and engagement uh it shouldn't be you know quick or long or what's up i need help with that i think ashley does too
Starting point is 00:45:49 yeah and i'd love to ask our guest sarah heron because she just celebrated her one year anniversary with her boyfriend. Sarah is on the line and we've gotten a request to have Sarah on. This was from Kathy a couple weeks ago. Sarah, are you on? Yes, I'm here. I'm going to read this to you. This is from Kathy. He says, hi, Ben and Ashley. I love the crap out of both of you, but could you please get Sarah Heron on for an update on her love life and life in general, please? I'm so happy that she's finally found her Prince Charming. I could never understand how she was never chosen to be the Bachelorette. I think that she's one of the bravest and classiest women I've ever witnessed, and can you just tell her that she has a beautiful and generous soul?
Starting point is 00:46:29 Kathy Mabley. Oh my gosh, that's the nicest message ever. Isn't that so sweet? Welcome to the podcast. Sometimes I come to this podcast and Ashley says that kind of stuff about me and it always makes me feel good. But Sarah, I'm glad we could welcome you with that kind of letter. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Thank you. I know I'm so excited to be on with you guys today. Like, oh my gosh, what an honor. Sarah, so you've been with your boyfriend for just about. a year now. Congratulations. Thanks. I know. I never thought it would happen. Oh, please don't say that. You're only, you're just, you're going to turn 31 soon? I did turn 31, yeah. Okay. So, yeah, I know. It's amazing, though. We live together. I moved to his town of Carbondale, Colorado, which is like the tiniest town in the whole world, I think population 4,000. So going from Los Angeles, this tiny mountain town is
Starting point is 00:47:24 crazy but it's so nice so what how did you guys meet everybody loves meat stories you got to tell us yeah um so dylan is a photographer director and i was hosting my very first she left retreat here in ask and i was looking for a local um photographer to come in and help with the retreat it was five days and so he was referred to me by an old colleague from my days in advertising and he And he joined us for five days with, you know, seven young women that had physical differences. And I think it just brought out this amazing, like, compassionate side of him that I got to see as, you know, he was the only male in a room full of women for five days. And I just, my heart melted for him. And I fell for him.
Starting point is 00:48:16 And by the end of the retreat, he asked me out on a date. And we've been, like, attached to the hip ever since. You wrote an amazing Instagram caption for your first anniversary. It was so touching. Can you briefly describe to everyone what Dylan makes you feel and how he's changed you for the better? Yeah. Well, I mean, I was always just looking for somebody that, you know, accepted me for who I was, but challenged me to be better.
Starting point is 00:48:44 Kind of all the cliche things that people have always said, but I never really felt it until I bet Dylan. And he just makes me feel confident in who I am. And, you know, he just supports me in everything that I do. And I'm so, I'm so grateful for his support and love every day. So sweet. You, he helps you, but you help a ton of other girls out there with your She-Lift program. And I think you're starting a podcast about it. I am, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:14 I'm really excited starting a podcast. but I am like currently recording from my closet because I saw the picture yeah because I'm like so low budd um but I'm really excited to do it and we're going to have amazing guests on it the premise is to introduce um women that I am friends with or look up to who are using their projects or platforms for change in creativity and connection so really it's just giving voice to everyday women who are overcoming obstacles and helping women listeners and men who love women feel, you know, sense of connection and community through other people's challenges. How can our listeners go and help the Sheila Foundation?
Starting point is 00:50:01 Anyone can visit sealift.org to learn more about the organization. And then, of course, follow us on Instagram at Sheelift Gram. And I'm constantly pushing information out through my personal Instagram and newsletter. So there's never a shortage of information. All right, Sarah, I wish we had more time with you. We will have you back on soon. When your podcast officially launches, it hasn't officially launched yet, right? Thank you.
Starting point is 00:50:29 No, it'll be May. All right. You let us know when, and we will make sure to plug it here on the Almost Sayas podcast. We love you so much. We're so glad that you have this amazing organization and an amazing man. Doesn't everything in life come together at 30? it really does just wait until 30 it's the best yes it really is good all right thanks sarah we'll talk to you soon thank you guys all right i mean it's so good sometimes i mean i feel like this has been a really
Starting point is 00:50:55 good podcast kind of for me to hear we've had rachel on who is confident well-spoken engaged in a relationship that just seems healthy and fruitful and uh you know got to now talk to Sarah Heron, who I got to actually meet her family on Easter at the golf course that I played at. You did. Yeah, I ran into her family. And they were so proud of Sarah. And they're so proud of the stuff that she's doing. A few years ago, I was able to get to know more about the She Lift organization.
Starting point is 00:51:28 And it really is incredible what she's doing. And not only is it one of those causes that are meaningful and doing a great thing in the world, but it's a lot of fun to participate in, right? I mean, she's literally doing these really cool adventure activities. with people all around the U.S. And so if anybody's out there kind of like, hey, I just need to mix life up a bit. I want to volunteer with an organization
Starting point is 00:51:48 that kind of shakes up the world not only for good, but also just for adventure. I really think she lives would be a great organization for you to reach out to. So please do that. It's awesome to hear people like Sarah taking life and really molding it into something that's not only good,
Starting point is 00:52:07 but something that she's passionate about. It's so awesome. And with all that beautiful sounding stuff, it is time for Ben, bitches. Oh, my gosh. I mean, I have a good one today, actually. And I'm upset. I'm not happy. I'm annoyed.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Ben, some people think that you're hamming it up and you're acting when you do this. I mean, no. Because you're like, I'm angry. I'm mad. I'm annoyed. I'm always this angry. Okay. So I just spent the last week with my father at the master.
Starting point is 00:52:40 And the one thing about the masters that really stood out to me was the simplicity, how everybody was equals, how nobody could see the hierarchy of society when it comes to the masters. Everybody's on equal playing. We were watching golfers play golf. And it hit me. One thing that I wasn't missing was the fact that anybody out there was trying to impress anybody else. I'm upset today because I've been around people, the one-upper. Do you know about the one-upers, Ashley? if you've been around the uppers, we all know them.
Starting point is 00:53:11 And if you don't know a one-upper, then you might want to look internally on yourself because you might be that one-upor. You might be that person that constantly wants to bring others down to lift each other or to lift you up, right? I mean, how many times you've been in conversation? Like, okay, for example, the one with Sarah Herron right here,
Starting point is 00:53:31 she's doing an amazing, amazing thing. Some people out there, the one-upers out there would have looked at Sarah Harron. or for our case, the podcast, so spoken to Sarah Harris and said, Sarah, it's great that you're doing that, but listen to what I'm doing. And they would come up with something that sounds a little bit better, a little bit twisted, a little bit more generous or philanthropic in nature. And you know what that would have done that? It was shot right through Sarah's heart. It would demoralize the passion and the purpose at which she's pursuing this mission.
Starting point is 00:54:06 And that's unfair to Sarah. And it's unfair to any of us out there. So I'm bitching today to anybody listening to say, if you're that one-upper, take a step back, humble yourself to the world, understand that nobody is bigger or greater than anybody else out there, that we're all equals, that we all have a responsibility to do good. We all have a responsibility to serve each other. We all have a responsibility to pursue our purposes and passions in this world. But I'm telling you right now, if you're pursuing your purposes and passions to tell
Starting point is 00:54:43 everybody else about it, take a seat down. Step away. I don't want to hear it. Okay. I have to admit, I'm a one-upper when it comes to boy band stories. When people are like, I'm the, oh, my God. This podcast success is. People are like, oh, my God, I'm such a huge friend.
Starting point is 00:55:02 Like, you don't even know my room looked like. I was like, I was in Bob Star and Bob Man. magazine because my room is so crazy. And it's like, I went to like five of their concerts. I was like, I've went to 27 of their concerts. And it's like, oh my gosh, this is one time I met them. I'm like, I've been friends with them and I've been on their tour bus.
Starting point is 00:55:19 And the worst, but only when it comes to wave-in stories. They're like, oh, my gosh, I got to tell you this. And I'm like, okay, that's great, but only when it comes to that, sorry, Ben, sorry. I feel like you, I mean, maybe this is going to come off incredibly offensive. I'm okay with that.
Starting point is 00:55:35 I feel like you, uping anybody on boy band stories actually does be has the opposite effect when anybody hears it this sounds like you're embarrassing yourself no because boy band fans there they wouldn't think that they would just think that was really cool I know it depends on your person is it depends on who the person is actually I want all of us uh I really would like you to take this over uh I I want to one up every other podcast out there and say that we have the absolute best sponsors of any podcast ever created. And that's including our next sponsor.
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Starting point is 00:57:12 questions like about chocolate and it helps determine what wine is perfect for your tongue why last after your tongue real quick why did you just laugh I think I don't know I've been thinking about tongues a lot lately don't ask me
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Starting point is 00:58:02 a thing about wine kind of like myself honestly i'll just like pick based on the prettiest label at the grocery store this is going to help teach you about wines it's like a wine club they do all the work they match the wines for you based on your taste um if you want to have them open this world of wine to you go to try wink that is w i nc.com slash almost famous and you'll get $20 off your first shipment that is try wink dot com slash almost famous for $20 off your your first shipment. Again, to spell wink, that is, T-R-Y-W-N-C dot com. Almost famous, you guys.
Starting point is 00:58:40 I mean, like, why wouldn't you want a wine service that develops what they send you based on your taste buds? I mean, you could almost do that with any product, but wink is just revolutionary. We love wink. But speaking of love, we're going to read off a couple reader or listener emails right now. And I have a couple questions. Actually, I'm sure you're familiar with this. I had no idea.
Starting point is 00:59:04 This was a shock to me. And I've been in this world for a while. I'm going to read an email from Sarah. Sarah's email is titled, Get Holly and Blake on. And I was reading through this. Who is Holly and Blake? I've been looking through these two and I thought the exact same. Apparently there's another successful bachelor couple
Starting point is 00:59:22 and we have no idea about them. And we've never talked about them. No. We'll read this in the mail. And we're going to have them on the podcast. We're going to find them, track them down. They've got to get there. moment to talk to us. We've got our gooder moment to talk to them. That sounded
Starting point is 00:59:37 kind of weird on my part. They got to talk about it says, hi, Ben and Ashley, I'm just curious. We always talk about the successful Bachelor franchise couples. Yes, we do. This includes the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, and the Bachelor in Paradise. But we never talk about the one successful Bachelor Pag couple, Holly and Blake Julian. Can we get them on a segment of who the heck are you? I loved watching them on Bachelor Pad. I'm going to love to know what they're up to now. Thanks, guys, love the show, keep up the good work.
Starting point is 01:00:08 Sarah Hoffman. I'm telling you, I had no clue. Me neither. How haven't we been corrected on this before? We've talked about the success couples a zillion times. Nobody's ever said, what about Holly and Blake before? We've been on air for a year. I agree.
Starting point is 01:00:24 We get criticized and scrutinized and corrected on everything, including my grammar. But we've never gotten corrected on the fact that there's another successful. But I don't know if I believe it. And I like the way that, well, I don't like the way. It says it's Holly and Blake Julian as if they're married. There's another Bachelor married couple. Yeah, they're married.
Starting point is 01:00:43 I looked him up. No way. I promise. This is craziness. I'm surprised. You didn't know. I read this and I thought, oh, Ashley can carry this email because she'll know. No.
Starting point is 01:00:54 Because. He loves boy bands in the bachelor. I would have, I would have corrected ourselves as a zillion. times if I had known, I never watched Bachelor Pat. I wonder what season they came out of. Well, guys, this is on our priority list. We are hoping to get Blake and Holly on next week. Craziness. Should we move on? Yeah, I mean, I have nothing else to say other than the fact that thanks, Sarah. Like, we had no clue. Yeah, thanks, Sarah. Okay, I have a question. We have a good email for you, Ben. Okay, what's up? Oh, actually. I would love, oh, there's so many good emails today. Okay,
Starting point is 01:01:26 I'm going to read this one first for you, Ben. It's from Jenna. Dear Ashley and Ben, this question is mainly for Ben. I'm 29, and I have been back in the dating pool for about six months after a pretty serious relationship. I have a huge heart for Jesus, and I've always thought it was very important that my partner and I share that quality. However, I find that the guys that I have been dating recently do not feel the same way, and it's quality, and it's a quality that's tough to find unless I date within my church. Ben, is it a deal breaker for you if a girl doesn't share the same faith as you? How do you broach the subject of faith in a new dating relationship? And how do you handle ending things with somebody that ultimately you don't think you could be with for the rest of your life because of their beliefs?
Starting point is 01:02:12 Do you think it's possible to overcome this difference? Love the podcast guys. Keep doing you. Gina. It's a great question. And that's one that, I mean, we can do a whole podcast on this. Let me start just by kind of breaking it down. I dated people that did not believe the same thing as I do, and had very healthy, successful relationships in that. I mean, they weren't ultimately successful in the end, but they were fruitful in the time that I had them.
Starting point is 01:02:38 However, I found myself when it came to the harder issues of relationships, we weren't communicating because we weren't coming from the same place. So I'm going to come from a place that I'm grounded in who Jesus was and what's, the Bible says and kind of the wisdom that I get from my faith system, my belief system. Because I believe it's true. I'm not a Christian just because it's what I grew up. But I believe that that is the truth of the world. And so if my truth is different than my partner's truth, then ultimately coming together and a compromise is going to be very difficult. And it proves to be difficult from everywhere to, from any question on how we're going to raise our kids to, you know, how we're going to spend our time in the evening. And then how do we
Starting point is 01:03:26 deal with difficult circumstances. Are we going to pray through it? Are we going to support people? And also, you know, one of the biggest things that came in my life is, you know, I get a lot of credit and it's unnecessary credit because of the things that I participated in life when it comes to philanthropy or acts of service. I only do those because I believe that I was called and to do that by Jesus. And so I believe that as my calling and that is my purpose on life. You know, Not always does that come from a really pure place in my heart. I do it because I believe that through service will find the most joy. And I also believe that through service, that was our intent on being on earth.
Starting point is 01:04:10 And so if my partner doesn't believe in service, and that's how I'm spending most of my time, then there's going to be a dilemma. And that dilemma is going to hurt, and it's going to hurt both people. So I think from that perspective, when it comes with dealing with situations, yes, it's important to have somebody of the same faith. When it comes to just the moral and ethical issue or maybe just faith issue of should you deal with or be with somebody that has the same faith, I would recommend it. I think it's going to add more depth to a relationship when the two people are coming from a similar worldview. I believe it's going to add more life to the events and the things that you're pursuing as a couple. but the question here that I really want to finish this with is how do you broach the subject of faith in a new dating relationship?
Starting point is 01:05:00 I do it right away. It's my first date conversation. It's who are you, you know, what are you, what makes you you you? If I was to sit down on a date with you, Ashley, and we, you know, obviously this sounds weird and almost like interrogative, but it's not, you know, through a conversation, my goal in a first date is to let you have your time to tell me who you are and what makes you you tell me tell me at a very surface level we don't have to get into the details and the grit
Starting point is 01:05:27 but I want to know what makes Ashley I Ashley I what makes you tick what's your belief system because the truth isn't all of this and I think we're living in a time that's exciting for this I want to date people within my faith but it doesn't mean that I have to be exclusive to anybody else of opposite things we're in a very inclusive time period where we're dealing and friends being friends and building relationships with people
Starting point is 01:05:51 of all sorts of world views. And I think that's a beautiful thing. But it's also something that we shouldn't make taboo. Just like we shouldn't make sex taboo. Or, you know, your addiction's taboo. I think faith is something that we should talk about openly. What are you ashamed of? If it's what you believe, it's what you believe.
Starting point is 01:06:08 If that's the truth that you believe the world operates on, speak about it, talk about it. Share that love. Share that purpose. Share that service. And so what better first date? conversation, then what's your truth? What do you believe in? Because I want to hear it. I want to hear it. I want to know about your experience is asking girls like that on a first date. Does it
Starting point is 01:06:28 freak them out? I don't know if it freaks them out, but you can definitely tell the ones that maybe have had an insecurity or, you know, the church, unfortunately, has hurt a lot of people, especially in this generation. The church was misrepresented by a lot of people that were part of the church. And so sometimes in this generation, people have stories from their experiences in the church that hurt them deeply. And they're scared to talk about it. And it brings up emotions that they're not ready to talk about. And that's fine. We don't have to talk about it there. But it allows me to have a better perspective about where they're coming from. And those are unique situations where I'm not going to then say, okay, sorry, we can't date because the church has
Starting point is 01:07:11 hurt you at some level. Like, that's ridiculous. Like, not at all. But the ones that are more open I think it's refreshing for me and I find that a quality that I am attracted to I guess so if say everything else equal there's been no pain caused from religion
Starting point is 01:07:29 which a lot of people have felt pain from religion and it's just a conversation topic and the person kind of pulls back like oh I don't really want to talk about that kind of stuff and it's just because they're not a very open person
Starting point is 01:07:39 I don't find that attractive I like openness I like vulnerability I would be a horrible interviewer if I didn't ask if you ask girls this on The Bachelor and it never made air. Oh, definitely. Oh, you know, the one thing about The Bachelor, though, that's unique is everybody, I would assume, most of the women that were on the show knew where my faith lied.
Starting point is 01:08:00 And so they knew where I was coming from. I didn't necessarily know where they were coming from. And it never really did make air. No, but most of the conversations, now the first night's a little different because you get about five minutes and I think that's a pretty heavy question. Yeah. But I do believe my most common question on the first night. And my go-to with everybody was, what makes you you?
Starting point is 01:08:20 Like, tell me about yourself because I want to know it. And we don't have a lot of time here. So relax, take a look around, get comfortable with the environment, but try to block everything out and just tell me what makes you you. So if a girl doesn't mention religion and what makes you you, is that a red flag to you that maybe that isn't a huge part of her life? No, I would probably follow up with a question just, and I have in the past, you know, what's your face system, what's your belief system?
Starting point is 01:08:45 And I would just directly ask that because I get that in a first day, everybody's nervous. You're not going to answer the questions like perfectly, you know, on both sides. So I think that's the part of the date that makes it interesting is you have to kind of help each other dig into what's making, you know, help dig into the conversation. And so, yeah, I definitely have follow-ups because I don't want to be with somebody that's like, oh, yeah, you know, that whole Jesus thing. I just don't see it. You know, I don't get it. Like, I've studied it just not for me. Like, that isn't something that I probably want to pursue because it's going to make our life pretty difficult, you know, long down the road.
Starting point is 01:09:22 I have so many questions, but we can't right now. But we can talk about Fab Fit Fun. What a transition, Ashley. Oh, my God. You know about the Fab Fit Fun box, right, Ben? Chloe Kardashian loves it. Bethanyu Frankel, Martina McBride, Ashley Tisdale, Ashley Simpson, Nicky Reed. So many more.
Starting point is 01:09:43 All these women love the Fab Fit Fun Box. Hey, you know, the one thing that we never do here, and Ashley I. Kennedy and Ben Higgins love the Fat Fit Fun Box. And hey, and we're almost famous, so we count. Most of the country is wondering if spring will ever get here. But don't worry, this spring box is available now to warm you up. So get it now before they sell out. The spring fad fit fun box is something that I am excited for.
Starting point is 01:10:17 After I started to support Fad Fit Fun because it actually is an awesome product, I started to pass out as gifts. I actually was at a bar in Denver the other night called the Highland Taffinberger. And there was a girl sitting at the table with a Fad Fit Fun box because she was so excited to show it to her friend. Not kidding, okay? Oh my gosh. Here's some of the content in the spring box. So you're going to be excited.
Starting point is 01:10:40 We're going to announce it today. Rachel Pally reversible clutch, free people, understated leather eye mask, Anderson Lily Candle, ish lip palette, maraud skin perfecting lotion, physique 57, massage roller. That's one of my favorites. Check out Fabfitfund.com and use the code, almost famous, so you can save $10 off your first box, making it only $39.99 again. That's Fabfitfund.com and use the code, almost famous. I'm telling you, you deserve to treat yourselves.
Starting point is 01:11:11 All the listeners, treat yourselves a little bit. Get your Fat Bit Fun box today. FatbitFun.com. Use our promo code, almost famous. It'll be worth it. I'm not telling you. Ashley, this has been, honestly, I'm telling you this,
Starting point is 01:11:22 one of my favorite podcasts I've ever done with you. Me too, me too. And there are so many other great emails from people who have emailed in to Ben and Ashley at iHeartmedia.com that I want to address next week. One is about Ben, possibly dating Leslie.
Starting point is 01:11:37 Another one is about my thoughts on dear Evan Hansen. I definitely have a lot to say about that. But we want to thank our guest today. Rachel Lindsay, you're wonderful. Sarah Hearn, wish we had more time with you, but I am so happy that you've found your Prince Charming. He seems wonderful. Yep.
Starting point is 01:11:57 And Ben, thank you for being here the day after you come back from the Masters. Are you kidding me? What a week. Ashley, you're looking beautiful as always. We love you, Ash. Keep it up. I'm telling you you have a lot of fans out there. I got to hear so many people.
Starting point is 01:12:10 so many people come out to me and say Ashley Kennedy makes that podcast and I say I don't just agree. And with that, I've been Ben. I've been Ashley. See you guys next week. Bye. Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcasts on IHeartRadio
Starting point is 01:12:26 or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

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