The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Spilling the Fertili-Tea with Whitney Bischoff

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

Ashley is hanging out with Whitney Bischoff (winner from Chris Soules’ season) and we’re talking all things fertility! Whitney is a fertility nurse with 2 young kids of her own, so she’s seen it all. She’s ready to share an unbelievable story of a major health challenge she went through after the birth of her son Hayes. And Whitney gives us a behind the scenes look at why few relationships can withstand Dancing with the Stars.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect.

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It is Ashley. And today, Ben isn't here for this episode because we're going to have a very, women forward episode, because Whitney Bischoff is here, who was on my season, the quote winner of my season. And I haven't seen her for years, but I'm so glad to see your face. Hello, Whitney. How are you doing? Oh, good. It's like girl chats. Like bringing me back to the mansion when it's like, we're having these girl chats. Love it. I love girl chats. You had a lot of girl chats about fertility in the in the house because that is what

you're an expert at, you're a fertility nurse. Yes. And then, lo and behold, you had to go through quite a fertility journey of your own. Yes. So you and your, so we're just going to like jump into the thick of it. Let's just jump into it. Yeah, because you're here because you were pregnant, but you never posted about it on social media. And all of a sudden you're like, surprise, nine months later, I have a baby. But it was, but it was something to get her into this world.

Yes, it was. You and your husband, Ricky, you got married like, what, five years ago, five, six years ago? Almost going on six. Yeah, it'll be six this year. I cannot believe it. I mean, it's been almost a decade since we were on the show, or me at least. I mean, I know you've made appearances. Well, sure, yeah.

But nine years from that original show, which I hold so much nostalgia for, I can't believe it's been nine years. I can't either. Where is the time gone? I don't know. It's so scary. And, you know, when you have kids, it goes even faster. Yes. So, like, yeah, you had your son, you had your son, Hayes.

Yes. Soon after getting married, right? Yeah, so he's about four and a half. Okay, four and a half. So we were married about a year, exactly, when he joined us, and he is just such a peach. I just, he's the best. I mean, little boys are the best, right? They are quite something.

And I know I have talked about how I had, quote, gender disappointment. It made some headlines a few weeks ago, which was the most dramatic thing ever. I'm like, you guys, let's be clear here. Yeah. when we go when we tell people we're pregnant and we don't know what the gender is or sex is yet people say um what do you want you're right you usually have an opinion right well absolutely and you've got a sister that same with me like it was just my sister and I that's all we know so I get that I know yes I wanted to have you know and my initial thought was that I wanted to have sisters the

exact same thing that I grew up with because I'm so so close to her but then you know you find out it's a boy And yes, maybe you're like, oh, man, I don't, I don't know how to deal with boys. And like, it's a boy going to want to go to boy band concerts and, like, play with American girl dolls. I don't know. Maybe. But I totally get that. When you said that, I relate it. It doesn't mean that you are not happy with your son or anything like that.

I mean, oh, my gosh, I love being a boy mom. It's so much fun. It's just not knowing what to expect when you've grown up with all girls. yeah and I didn't even know like I had now I can't even picture having a girl which is weird like yes I'd like a girl but I also would be totally happy with a boy it's it's so wild how much it does not matter when the kid is here the love between a mom and a son too is just there's nothing compares to it it's really awesome yeah it's so so nice um all right so let's so you with your son conceiving with your son let's get into the nidity yeah so let's get into it so when you You conceive with your son, did it, well, how long did it take to conceive if you don't mind me asking? It took us seven months. It took us seven months. Yeah.

I mean, I think it took about six months, somewhere around there. But as a fertility nurse and just as being Whitney, I am such a planner. So, Tai Bay. Like, you know, I had my whole, you know, future written out for me in terms of I'm going to get pregnant at this age and then I'm going to get pregnant again at this age. And this is the way it's all going to go. And that's a joke because you can't plan anything. So after a couple months when it didn't work, even knowing that that's very normal, that it can take a little bit of time being a fertility nurse and kind of specializing in this field, I was, you know, beside myself. Like, why hasn't worked?

What's going on? I'm doing all of this testing on myself to like check my fertility and talking with, you know, the experts that I work with. And, you know, I actually did sit down with the physician, Dr. Kaplan, that I work with and just said, hey, should I tap into my preter. previously frozen eggs because, as everyone knows, I froze my eggs. Gosh, I don't even know, like 13, 14 years ago. So the question that he posed to me, which I thought was really smart, was, well, how many children do you want to have? Do you want to have more than one?

I was like, absolutely. He's like, well, you're going to just continue to get older. Those eggs are going to stay on ice, you know, at the same quality that they were when they were frozen, which I was young. I was 27 when I did it. So he's like, just be patient. So I had to take my, you know, own advice that I give to patients. Like, it takes some time, you know, take sometimes some persistence.

It doesn't mean that anything's kind of going on. You know, if you're less than 35, it can sometimes take up to a year. So we just kind of stuck with it and finally concede. I think it was about six months. So somewhere around, you know, like with you said it took seven, took some time. For me, yeah, I think this is important to talk about because I get, because I've been open about it taking seven months. Yeah. Lots of girls get into my DMs and they're like, hey, it's been three or four months.

I'm starting to freak out. How'd you stay calm? And I'm like, okay, well, for me, yes. When we got to the five month mark, I was like, me, my body? Because I always thought, like, everybody was like, oh, this is so stupid. This honestly is stupid, but I'm going to say what people will tell me. They'd be like, your body shape is like, you're like such a, you're so fertile, right? What?

You can just, yeah. Like, you like have birthing hips. Like, you just look like, yeah, isn't that funny? That's bizarre is what I was. Okay, so I always, like, grew up just being like, oh, I've got regular periods in birthing camps. I should be totally fertile. It's hysterical.

Five months. That's not, like, whatever. So then at six months, I hadn't had like an annual gyno appointment in like two or three years. So I was just like, I'll go to the gyno, see what she says about this. And she was like at, I was 32 when we conceived. And she was like, wait, I was, no, wait, hold on. Yes, I was 32.

Wait, hold on. How old am I now? I was 33. Holy shit. Okay. So she was like, you're fine. I wouldn't think for like looking at like all your info here that we would need to worry at all or like think about taking other steps until we're a full year of trying. Do you, do you agree full year of trying at 33? At 33. Yeah. I would say if you're older than 35, six months. Okay. Mm-hmm. All right. And that is because. because your fertility is declining. So, and, you know, at 35, we see a higher jump and decline. So it's, I mean, it's always declining from the moment we're born. Fertility is declining. But, you know, at 35, we see more of a steeper decline. So that's why people say, don't wait after, you know, a full year after 35, kind of jump on it around that six-month mark.

Okay, cool. So then you conceived at six months, you're all, you're like happy. And then what happens? You know, we have, you know, I had a really easy pregnancy, easy birth. It was just amazing. And we were ready again to try for baby number two. But something I actually haven't talked about at all. So you're hearing it here first is I got really sick after Hayes was born.

I started having some really weird chest pain and was going to the doctor about it. and I was just kind of shelved. You know, I was a young woman complaining of chest pain. So what's the first thing they told me? It's anxiety. It's stress. And I am a high, strong, anxious person. So I believed it.

But it continued, this chest pain continued to occur for about a year. And it was getting progressively worse. And we were vacationing in Cape Cod. And I ended up in the ICU having to have emergency heart surgery. Oh, my gosh. I had gone into cardiac topanon because I had three and a half cups of fluid around my heart. So that postponed our trying to get pregnant. So that then was a long healing process.

I was seen at Mayo. It was such a mess. So be an advocate for yourself, especially as a woman, because I knew something was wrong. And I just kept being shelped. You know, like, you're fine. You know, you're fine. until it almost cost me my life. I mean, so because of that and because I obviously, you know, needed to get that under control

and I was on tons of medication that were not conducive with pregnancy, I was not able to attempt to get pregnant. I was told, you can't. We've got to get this under control. Your heart's under way too much stress. And being pregnant, I mean, your heart is pumping for two, right? Your blood volume increases. So they were saying, you know, we don't even know if you'll ever be able to have.

have another baby so my gosh that must have been crushing oh you cannot even imagine it was such a grieving process and then thinking maybe we're going to have to go the surrogate route yeah um so i i was not even sure that another child was in the future for us but i by the grace of god and the physicians that i worked with and the experts and cardiologists um got this so it ended up being viral paracarditis, which was attacking my heart. So once that finally got under control, it took about another year, I got the go ahead to attempt to pregnancy. Holy moly.

So is this like a two year process all in all? Yes. So at this point, I'm considered geriatric for pregnancy. I know. And I know, too, the entire time, the stress that I was under just dealing with the heart stuff and the scare with that, but then knowing I'm getting older, my clock is ticking. And I did have those eggs, which was. I was so thankful for because when you freeze your eggs,

I feel like you think it's a backup plan. I'm hopefully never, I'm never going to need those, you know, but I did. So we ended up tapping into those eggs. You did. Okay.

Let's talk about egg freezing for a second. A lot of people think that it's like a guarantee. But isn't it less likely that like the eggs are going to unfreeze, defrost? And you'll lose a good amount. But it's actually. more get not guaranteed but closer to it if they're um embryos defrosting embryos is more successful often than defrosting eggs yeah so i think this is really interesting because um yes i mean embryos are

always going to be more stable than eggs because it's all of the chromosomes that you need to make a baby whereas an eggs only half of the equation so i always say like if you're embryo, you're walking steadily on two feet. Whereas if you're an egg, you're kind of limping on one. So you're more easily damaged, easily messed with. But depending on the laboratory and the experts that you are going to, you know, in terms of their experience with that freezing, some of those rates can be essentially, you know, the same. So in some places like, you know, at OVA, our success rates are about, I would say, probably five to ten percent different. So for some women, you know, to me, if you're a single woman, that's not that big of a difference to then decide to get an sperm donor and freeze an embryo versus freezing an egg.

But yes, they were always be a little bit more success with embryos versus eggs. But now with the increase in technology and experience that a lot of people have, it's not as large. as it once was. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast,

so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy?

See, that sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor, and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

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Melisha's Journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. A very fake, capital-driven environment and society will have a lot of people tell half-truths. I'm telling you, I'm on the energy committee. Like, if the energy is not right, we're not doing it, whatever that it is. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So you tap into your eggs for this. try it all to do it naturally for six months oh no no no at that point i was like we are ready to and not kind of knowing what was going to be going on with my health we started with the thine

when i was going through the treatment process of fertilizing the eggs for my heart so we went through that whole process we got our embryos and then when i got the clear to move forward um we started prepping to transfer the embryos. And that was the start of a very long journey. So let us in. Yeah. So I went through an embryo, well,

I started to prep for a couple embryo transfers that were canceled. So it's, you know, I was taking these medications and going in, you know, to prep for this transfer. But I, my lining was not thickening appropriately.

So, you know, you want the atmosphere of the uterus to be completely perfect to transfer this embryo. So if it's not, there is always that chance that the cycle could be canceled. And so that happened to me twice before I ever made it to a transfer. We did finally make it to transfer and it, unfortunately, was not successful. And then in the between kind of months, a couple times, we were trying naturally.

And I kept getting pregnant naturally and having very early miscarriages. So it was just one thing after the other. and then about a year ago, I had an ectopic pregnancy. So that was scary, too. So for those who don't know, an ectopic pregnancy means that the egg implanted into her phallopian tube. My filopine tube, yeah. And this was extremely painful. Yeah, so we caught it early, which was good.

But I think also about that, too, I just knew to ask the right questions because I'm in the field. about so many women that may not have known to ask the questions, again, to advocate for themselves, that it could have been much different. So, yeah, so that was a long journey, too, because then you have to postpone again for three months because I got a medication that takes care of the pregnancy that's in your two, because obviously it's life-threatening to the mother to continue to let it grow, and the pregnancy's not going to be viable. But with that medication, and that was the decision that we chose or the route.

we chose to go because I didn't want to risk losing my fallopian tube in a surgery. Yeah, I was going to say, how do they even save a fallopian tube if there's been an implanted embryo? So sometimes they can go in and just remove what's inside of the tube and they could spare the tube, but there's always risk to scar tissue in the tube and that the tube's no longer going to work. And that to me was, you know, I didn't want to take that risk. So I did go to medication route, but then that meant, again, we had to postpone trying for three months um so all in all it was i think a full year um and we were prepping again i was planning to go in to prep for another transfer and i got a positive pregnancy test so

naturally naturally ah yeah yes so we didn't end up using i mean the brady my daughter is not from my eggs, but we have, you know, beautiful embryos. She's not from your frozen eggs. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. Yes. She was a natural conception versus everything we went through and then it was a natural conception, yeah.

Which I feel like happens a lot. Do you think it's because like moms kind of relax at a certain point if the IVF process is like kind of coming along and then they're like, oh, okay, well, I have that plan and then I have this plan, which is natural. And they say it's probably not going to happen. And then when you start to be like, okay, it's probably not going to happen. been naturally that like you just kind of like chills you know it's hard to quantify how stress but i do think it plays a role because you do hear of that where people go through years and

years of treatment and then all of a sudden oops they become pregnant um i don't want anyone listening to this to think that that's the norm but you do hear of that um so i do think that you know stress could play a role i mean who knows in my case but oh gosh it was such a welcome surprise but then for the next nine months, or, you know, especially early on, I was so worried about another loss. Yes. Because we had gone through it so much. I felt like I just, every time I went to the bathroom, I was like, is there going to be blood?

You know, is there, you know, it just was, day after day, just the anxiety. I was just riddled with anxiety. Do you have any tips for girls out there who, well, do you have any tips of just, like, conceiving in general? Because you know, people are like, oh, certain lube. like certain times of day. Like everybody seems to like have a idea for a train. An idea or a theory.

I mean, yeah. Obviously you have to be ovulating to get pregnant. I know that that sounds obvious, but that would be, you know, my first suggestion if you've been trying to get pregnant and you're not successful is to ensure that you are ovulating. You can do that with your doctor. You can get some ovulation predictor kits from like the drug store.

But the best way to get pregnant would be to have this. sperm waiting for the egg once you ovulate. So I think a lot of people think, oh, okay, I'll ovulate and then I'll have sex or, you know, but really you should be doing it leading up to that so that when the egg is released, there's sperm waiting in the tube. And the sperm can live in the tube for like three to five days. Yeah. Now, whereas the egg is only going to live for about 24 hours.

So that's why it's nice to have that sperm waiting for the egg. from the time that the egg is released from the ovary to it like passing through the fallopian tube completely that's 24 hours no it survives for 24 hours so you know it takes longer for it to go all the way down the tube and into the uterus but it's only going to be viable for about 24 hours whereas the sperm can be viable for three to five days just hanging out in the tube so its journey through the tube is longer than 24 hours Yeah. Before it makes it way all the way down and then into the uterus and implant. Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. So the sperm's meeting it very close to the ovary release. Gotcha. Yeah. Well, see, I'm still learning. Because I thought like it was like kind of viable like within the two process. But that's stupid. Wow. I probably knew this a couple years ago and I was deep in my reading. But now I'm like, I mean, what's going on with you? Are you going to plan for? That's why I asked these questions too. And I really wanted to have you on because we're starting to quote, in um two weeks two weeks yeah two weeks which is like hilarious hi audience like you know so much about me in my cycle so awkward but yeah so um there's that and then me being 35 now and i know very much that it is a geriatric advanced pregnancy so crazy if it were to happen um like so six months is when you started vice people to start talking about IVF at this point. Or talk to a specialist, not necessarily going straight to IVF, but talking with

a specialist in reproductive medicine just to go through your options and kind of do some testing to see if there's something going on. So how do you tell, like, women who are just like nervous at a couple of months, how do you tell them to just chill? I wish there was like some magic advice that I had. I mean, you know what? If you're super anxious, though, and for the peace of mind, if it's going to help you to go talk to someone, no one's saying you can't go see someone earlier than six months, you know, but it's from an insurance kind of standpoint, a lot of times insurance companies, which is don't even get me started on that. I hate dealing with insurance companies. It's awful. But they look at infertility as if you're older than 35 and you've been trying for

six months and without success, then they label you infertile and that's when they'll start covering sometimes a lot of treatment. Now, how they really know, it's, you know, but I think for your own peace of mind, if you're stressed at two months in, go talk to your doctor. Maybe you can get a referral and, you know, just starting out and doing the diagnostic testing a lot of times it's covered. So insurance companies will label you infertile. So what does that mean that they won't cover anything? So a lot of times treatment is covered once you have an infertility diagnosis, but you have to have that diagnosis. So it depends on the state that you live in and your plan and all of that.

that. But what does an infertility diagnosis mean? So if you're over than 35 and you've been trying for six months without success, that's an infertility diagnosis. If you're younger than 35 and you've been trying for one year, you get that diagnosis. Okay. Very interesting because what would you consider like, because people have like reach out to me and I'm like, I know that I, we didn't struggle to conceive because it was seven months. But like that word, I'm like, well, that's rude. I did not. What would you consider struggle at a year? I mean, I think that that is individualized.

Because for some people, you know, maybe it was, you know, taxing on them for seven months. You know, it may not be that they have that infertility diagnosis, but that's not to say that it wasn't a struggle for you. So I think that's a hard thing to say. Like, maybe it wasn't a struggle. Maybe you enjoyed, who knows? I go, didn't enjoy. I know it starts to become it's a chore it is a chore to be honest and I'm not speaking on behalf of um Jared as well it's like a little different it is and I think that it's tough too when people are like just have fun with it like there's nothing fun about this and I think that my husband would say that as well it just is not yeah it's not fun some people have told me to just have sex every single day every single day and I go there's no way I know I've heard crazy people say that Like, yeah.

Every day. I've heard Jared be like, no, I can't do that every day. Absolutely not. And plus, like, then you're, is this true that your sperm quality, like the number, the count is going down if you do it every day? It will if you're doing it every day. Yeah. I typically say like abstinence for three to five days.

Okay. Interesting. And then I heard from, I'll just say, it is a bachelor alum. One time told me, do it five times each day during the ovulation window. Who told you that? I can't even, I can't out them. It was a man. Of course it was a man.

Of course it was a man. He literally said, woke up and we did it before I went to work. And then I'd come home throughout. Like, it was like the nuttyest thing I've ever heard in my life. It doesn't even make sense. I mean, the sperm's one for three to five days. So why are you, you know, do it once and wait three days or every other. At least, I mean, I would say at most every other day.

Okay. Oh, interesting. At most every other day. Yes. because if the sperm counts normal i mean if there's something going on with the sperm then there's that's a different issue i think a lot of times women put the blame on them when there's something going on but you know oftentimes it can be 30% of the time here that it's the guy yeah and when do you check sperm count about the six month mark as well yeah so the workup would be for male and

female once you go see the reproductive endocrinologist it's for male and female so they do you know the analysis and then they also look at hormones and things like that for the woman. Well, how have you been since having Brady? Your daughter, Brady, how's you come up with the name? Because that's Dawson's middle name after, you know, of course. Well, yeah. Tom Brady.

We've just always liked that name. And we thought about if it was a boy or a girl, we'd probably, like, I like unisex name. So we'd probably just name him or her Brady. Yeah, I thought it was unique. And I liked it for a girl, even more than I like it for a boy, no offense. But I just think it's like kind of. You know, I like the unisex names.

Yeah, yeah, that's very cute. Yeah. Hayes also, I guess, can be either way. It could be, yeah. It could be, yeah. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit.

Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now hold up, isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. It's even more likely that they're cheating. He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend

really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Have you ever wished for a change but weren't sure how to make it? Maybe you felt stuck in a job, a place, or even a relationship. I'm Emily Tish Sussman, and on she pivots, I dive into the inspiring pivots of women who have taken big leaps in their lives and careers. I'm Gretchen Whitmer, Jody Sweetie. Monica Patton. Elaine Welter.

I'm Jessica Voss. And that's when I was like, I got to go. I don't know how, but that kicked off the pivot of, of how. how to make the transition. Learn how to get comfortable pivoting because your life is going to be full of them. Every episode gets real about the why behind these changes and gives you the inspiration and maybe the push to make your next pivot. Listen to these women and more on She Pivots, now on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here. And on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain, I'm breaking down the

players from rising stars to legends chasing history. The prediction Well, we see a first-time winner and the pressure. Billy Jean King says pressure is a privilege, you know. Plus, the stories and events off the court and, of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very fancy, wonderfully experiential sporting event. I mean, listen, the whole aim is to be accessible and inclusive for all tennis fans, whether you play tennis or not. Tennis is full of compelling stories of late. Have you heard about icon Venus Williams' Rebels?

recent wild card bids, or the young Canadian, Victoria Mboko, making a name for herself. How about Naomi Osaka getting back to form? To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. I don't write songs. God write songs. I take dictation. I didn't even know you've been a pastor for over 10 years.

I think culture is any space that you live in that develops you. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. This is like watching Michael Jackson talk about Thurley before it happened. Was there a particular moment where you realized just how instrumental music culture was to shaping all of our global ecosystem? I was eight years old, and the Motown 25 special came on.

And all the great Motown artists, Marvin, Stevie Wonder, Temptations, Diana Raw. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. So how have you been, like, post-partum and all that? Yeah. I mean, we were scheduled, you know, to come on, oh, gosh, when was it? A couple weeks ago. Two weeks ago.

And I had to cancel. And I'm so sorry. I just was. It's not a big deal. I get it more than anyone, you know. Oh, my gosh. I was like, I would not be able to function. I would not be able to even think straight.

So we're in the thick of it, but just, you know, it's kind of just part of it, right? It's a read a passage. And I just try to soak up every little minute with her, even if she's, screaming her head off. How has she been as a baby? She's really gassy. And that's, I laugh,

but that's bad situation. I get it. Oh, my God. Like, I was chatting with Ricky last night. I'm like, was Hayes like this?

And we're both looked at each other and we're like, I don't remember. I don't know if we just blocked it from our memory, but it's almost like we're new parents all over again because it was so long. You know, that was four and a half years ago. So I can't remember if. he was, you know, as gassy and refluxy, but she's just so uncomfortable baby girl.

I cannot figure out, like, how to help her. I don't know. Was Dawson like that at all? Not really, but I do remember this is the one moment, the one moment that like, I guess you'll probably always remember is the moment that he's crying and you don't know how to fix it. And it wasn't even that big, but like usually it was like, oh, as a newborn, you need to either burp them um he needs a diaper change or he's hungry and i remember the one time where it was like i don't know what it's not the three of those things so what can we do yeah there's a book called mama sutra

that's all about getting gas out of babies okay i've got to get that yeah because i know the author she sent it to me before but we never really needed to use it because he never really had like trapped gas much yes so we've done like the gas drops the there's a thing by three to big the yeah the exact yeah where you like yeah we did that the other night that was an experience the windy yes it didn't yeah that was interesting

so yeah the um age gap with you you probably able to get Hayes to help you a little bit he's very understanding probably how's that yeah yeah you know I gotta be completely honest I was sad about the age gap at the beginning I really wanted my kids to be closer together um an age My sister and I are about six years apart, and I always felt a little bit like I was an only child growing up.

I was in sixth grade when she went away to college. And, I mean, my sister and I are close, but I just, I mean, I look at you and your sister. It's almost like, how close. I mean, you guys are just a couple of years. Yeah, we're two and a half, but that's what I want to. And that's why I'll get stressed this next time if it doesn't happen quickly because us starting in two weeks is me starting at two and a half years. right you know and yeah and i was like that too again going back to that planning planning planning and then it was completely out of my control so i stressed about that even though there was nothing

i could do about it it just i was really you know i was just really hoping that they would be closer in age because in my mind and like the closer in age they are the closer in relationship they'll be um but i've got to say everything kind of you know works out because it is very helpful the fact that he knows what's going on he is super excited. He is such a big, you know, helper. And I think that it would be difficult having them closer in age, especially with Brady being more of a fussy baby. That would be difficult to also have a younger toddler. For sure. That's my biggest, that's my fear. I mean, I want them to be. I want to get pregnant soon so that they can be that two and a half-ish years

apart. But I also like, I don't know. How do you do it? I'm just, Mind boggled, but so many people are, so many people do it. Two and a half, three years seems to be like such a common age gap. It is. And I see women who I was pregnant like alongside with the first time and they've already delivered a second. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, how are you doing this?

I've talked to Raven. Ariven and I had a nice mom chat a couple weeks ago. Yeah. How is she doing? She's stressed. Yeah. It's tough. I mean, sometimes you wonder, I mean, I remember when I was in labor with Hayes, looking at

one of the nurses and being like, I cannot, why do people do this more than once? And the nurse was like, because you forget and they're so cute. And it's so right because you do block kind of that bad stuff from your memory. And you just, thank goodness kids are cute because it's difficult. I know. People tell me all the time when I tell them I had like hyper emphasis during their pregnancy. They're like, how are you doing it again? And I go, because I got so mad. at people when they would tell me I would forget I was like you mother effers I am not going to forget this and I kind of have um when I get nauseous every once in a while if you just have like a weird nauseous day who knows what reason then it comes back and I'm like I don't know if I could

ever do this again yeah but but like other than that what were like what did did any medications help you Zophran really helped my my doctor father didn't want me to take it until like 12 to 13 weeks. I was going to say a second trimester. Yeah. They say that you could start taking it around 10. Every doctor has a different opinion on once your friends. Okay.

I will probably take it earlier this time, especially since I'll just be like, my life is more demanding with Dawson. And I just can't just be like, all right, well, today is a total couch day. Like, I haven't had a total couch day since Dawson was born, really. Right. So if you've had it, I don't know enough. about it. If you had it with your first pregnancy.

93% you have it again. Wow. Yes. And my biggest issue was that I was actually able to keep food down. I lost a little weight the first trimester from throwing up so much. But food was 75, 70% maybe held down because I throw up probably like two to three times a day. And that, but like for seven months.

The thing was it was it was the length of it because I threw up seven months. if I didn't have my Zophran, I would throw up. And then the Zofran makes you incredibly constipated. So I would try not to, because I was telling, oh my God, I was telling Ben a couple days ago because we're talking about how on Bachelor in Paradise, they're talking about constipation. Did you get constipated there? No, yeah, people do. I was fine there.

Like Jade went eight days without pooping there. Yeah, which people are going to be like, Ashley, Ben, why do you talk about this so much? But yes, she went eight days there. but I had gone eight days with Zophran in pregnancy. No, I would have to. There's no way.

Yeah. So like, weren't you so stuffy? Like, yes. But it, but it wasn't, there was this one moment on the toilet. It was really only one where I was like, this has got to be worse than giving birth.

And to be quite honest, it was worse than giving birth. Was it? Well, I had an epidural like the second I got in the delivery room. So I don't know how. it would go naturally, I mean, unmedicatedly. Yeah. But yeah.

So it was bad. It was very bad. So I tried not to take this over in as if there was a day where I was like, I'm not feeling great, but like I think I could get through the day. You know, I would try as long as I could. But then Mir relax was also fantastic once I discovered that. And anyway, my problem, long-winded answer, but my problem was drinking. So like any sort of sip of anything would make me run to the bathroom immediately.

So I was on IV for like 16 weeks. What? So was your dad able to hook you up to those? My dad, yeah. So I was able to stay again, like another thing that really scares me about this pregnancy with Dawson, obviously I'm not going to, we can't live in my parents' house for 16 weeks. Like, because Jared is not going to fly. Like I'm not going to, my Jared's not going to stay there for 16 weeks. He can't because of work.

So. Yeah. Yeah. So I was luckily hooked up at home. My guy and I was able to provide us with. all the IV bags. My dad would do it from the couch. That is so nice. I actually saw your chat with your dad. The epidural one? Yeah. Yes. I, my epidural, I mean, I got him both times, but this time was so uncomfortable because I was so itchy. I could not. Itchy. I was so

itchy. You've got to ask him about that. Okay. Like, it was awful. I just could not. I'm like, it was bad. But they. I said because there's opioids in it. Yeah. A lot of people get freaked out at that. And so I'm like, I could never be a drug addict because I would just be like constantly scratching myself. This is awful.

But yeah, I don't remember it the first time, but this last time it was, and they were able to give me a medication to help with it. But I mean, I was scratching like there was like almost bleeding because I was so itchy. Holy moly. But did that take that that take your head out of? the idea that there was a baby coming out of you? I mean, yeah, maybe it was a good distraction. That's true.

That is true. That's a nice way to spin zone it. We don't have much time, but I do want to, you know, revisit the fact that it's been nine years since we were on the show. Yes. How do you look back on it now nine years? I mean, you and Chris didn't, you weren't together long. No.

No. But like, do you look back on it fondly still or? Some parts. Yeah. Some parts, I do. I mean, I think there is a lot of PTSD for me. I mean, I'm not even just throwing that out there, you know, casually as a just term. But I really struggled with some parts of it.

Yeah. But I think that I almost, it was a once in a lifetime opportunity. And I miss, you know, being with the girls and the fun times and the opportunities that we got to do really cool things and go cool. places some cool places um but that i do miss but other parts i don't i don't think i'm made for tv so well you did a great job when you're there well thank you i just it was very yourself through and through and you're always calm seeming i was not calm are you kidding i always thought you seemed calm oh my god i was not calm but well i wasn't there for the very end of it though like i was only there for i was so there for your first half yeah i think there for the majority

No, I was there for literally one month and then you were there for an entire other month because you know how that first like, yeah, I got to be like six or whatever you want to call it, six, seven, eight. That was the week that I was eliminated. But you got that whole second half of the show is so much longer. Yeah. Because your weeks actually become weeks. Right. Yeah. Do you do you look like how do you look back and think about that engagement moment? Like do you like think it's crazy that you thought. that that would be like your partner for life. Crazy. Yeah. But I think we're just, and when I was in it, it was so real, but coming out of it,

it was, we were just in such a bubble, you know? So, I'm able to kind of step outside of that bubble, obviously being almost a decade out, to be like that, I was completely drinking Kool-Aid.

I mean, that's, I really was in my mind. I really did think like, this is it. And, you know, on the outside of it,

I'm like, how did I ever think that? There was just, it was just not a good match. Yeah. And then the last question is dancing with the stars was a big, like, part of the ending. Like, you guys would have ended either way, but dancing with the stars. Either way, but I think that's sped it up. Sped it up. So advice to charity and Doughton and any other bachelor couples that partake in that experience?

No. Um, I think it's hard coming straight off the show and going right into that. You know, you look at Caitlin, who she had more of an established relationship going into it, I think that's better than, I guess for me, at that time, how I felt I remember this so vividly, is that I had just spent however many months on a show competing with other women to get this guy's attention. And you finally get to where you can be out in public. And I felt like that's what I was continuing to do with dancing with the stars is that it was just there was so much time. I felt like I was just competing to get attention. And it was like, this is not, it was just, it was brutal. It was bad.

So I would say for anyone coming off of the show is just to make sure they make time for each other because it is very time consuming. It's very demanding as, you know, being on the show and the practices. And I can't imagine having to be in front of a national. audience, fancy and live. I mean, that's stressful. It's just crazy. So I get the stress that that entails and you want to practice and, like, be the best that you can be, but just not to forget about your person.

All right. Well, Whitney, thank you for giving us your time. It is truly precious in the situation. It's so good to see your face. I'm trying to think of the last time I saw you. Was it Carly's wedding? Oh, my gosh. Like the last time I saw you in the flesh.

Yeah, I think so. Well, this makes me miss you and I'm so grateful for you coming on and like just telling us all like the intimate details. Yeah. Yeah, I'm happy to do it. And hey. And good luck to you. Thanks. I might be texting you and being like, listen, should I work?

Any questions? You just text me. All right. Bye. Thank you. Bye. See you. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcasts on IHartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.

Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of you. I'll take it all! I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devin.

And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me. I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No Such Thing on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

No such thing. Betrayal Weekly is back for season two with brand new stories. The detective comes driving up fast and just like screeches right in the parking lot. I swear I'm not crazy, but I think he poisoned me. I feel trapped. My breathing changes. Wow, like he is not a mentor. He's pretty much a monster.

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