The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Surviving the Chaos with Charity Lawson and Dotun Olubeko

Episode Date: September 14, 2024

Ben is hanging out with the happy couple, Charity Lawson and Dotun Olubeko!  Nothing is off limits as they take Ben through their couple’s therapy experience, they reveal how they survived Dancing with the Stars, and we find out if Charity has baby fever!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your... free iHeart radio app search emergency intercom and listen now what would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth unfortunately for mark lombardo this was the choice he faced he said you are a number a new york state number and we own you listen to shock incarceration on the i heart radio app Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the hosts of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on exactly right.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts. This is the Ben and Ashley I, Almost Famous Podcasts with IHartRadio. We're here with the Almost Famous Podcast. We have Dodden and Charity here. I will be honest, and I'm not blowing smoke. You two are people I just really admire and have really thought. Like, I was just telling Charity. I think my money was on you to make it.

And not in this weird bachelor's way. It's just like it's cool when people actually meet each other and find love. And it's something to celebrate because if not, I don't know why we do this. You know, I don't know why we do this show. We were talking a little bit earlier about wedding plans. Obviously, that's a common question probably for you too. I was hearing about the Nigerian wedding. Sounds absolutely amazing.

but I was also looking up a photo shoot the two of you just recently did with, I think it's called Munalichia. Is that right? Did I get the name right? Moonucci. And I want to start with you, Dodden, on that. You guys, this is such a cool shoot. It really is, and we were kind of talking about it

as you walked up a little bit ago. But I want to hear from you why you guys decided to do this shoot. And looking at these pictures now, like, what does this represent to you? Yeah, I mean, this shoot fell into our labs. I feel like you've probably like explained that a little bit.

No. Like there's a all here too. Oh, okay. Okay. Awesome. Yeah. So I'll start at the beginning kind of. They emailed us shortly after our AFR episode and like let's do it. And then the funny, you know, whole caveat is like we weren't sure because we were so new at everything at the time. We weren't sure if it was real. So we kind of thought it was a scam. So we kind of left it ignored. And then eventually like after like coming it coming back up we were like oh it's actually a real magazine and we reached out to them they had reached out to a couple more times to like hey let's do this thing and then luckily we did some more research we're like oh no it's a real thing we reached back out to them and then they just put together this amazing team for this shoot in like such

a short amount of time and obviously like the big thing is it helped celebrate like my heritage which was shown a little bit on the episodes and you know I think that's something it's nice to do something that's tied into that, you know, and adds a bit of purpose to it. And so that was just really cool to, like, be able to have something traditional. And it just came out amazing. The team was unreal, like, so talented. And from the people that did our, you know, dress-up wardrobe, it was just from start to finish videography.

So just such an amazing experience and just super grateful that, you know, is an opportunity we get to have. because it's like who are we to but like just feeling like really happy that we're you know chosen for that and like everybody is just so happy with the products where do those photo where were those photos live now at least it within your lives well i hope to get a few of them printed and blow up yeah definitely they have like online copy and then they'll have i think like pre-orders now for like real copies and then obviously we'll probably have both and yeah and the don't going anywhere. I was like, I was telling him, I was going to be hard to talk because I was like, everyone basically thought that photo shoot was as he loping. And so they're like, oh, my God, the wedding photos. But I'm like, now our wedding photos have to be just as good if not better. And the thing was that was put together in like, what, three weeks a month, you know,

like getting all that together. So again, that's like a lot of testaments of that team that were able to do that. But that was like, like, that could have been like a wedding shoot and still been really cool. Yeah. So, yeah, like, again, could have never guessed. that's something that I would be involved in personally right I mean it's wild what happens post show yeah and it's not like you know I think people expect that like there's this flood rush of opportunities and things and that happens at some level yeah but it really didn't happen to me

I guess and there are some things that really stand out to me because what stood out to me was people actually cared a little bit like they weren't just doing it to like you know yeah they saw as an opportunity for them make money it was like no they cared enough to like take some time to make this special for me too yeah those are the moments that stand out to me now don we just talked with charity about like kind of life since show and she you know doted on you and talked about how great you know you are and i don't think that's any question for anybody i don't think anybody was doubting it i want to ask you kind of the same question though when it comes to like the last you know year of life what are some things that have stood out to you as like

pivotal moments obviously building up to where you're at today which charity would describe is a really, like, great place as a couple. So what, like, what moments have stood out to you that have separated themselves from this craziness and this chaos that is The Bachelor? Um, I mean, to start, I would say, like, dance with the stars, right? If you want to go post-bachelors, it's still in that world.

But even for you, that stood out. Like, even that, that, that, yeah, that period, that time period, for sure. It was really the first test, us living together before we even, like, wanted to live together, essentially, you know? because we're like we can do it soon New Year when lease is up but then there's this period that she was going to be there

and it's like you know felt kind of right to try to do that period together because I'm sure anybody would want somebody special with them during that time it's got to be such a weird experience I want to pause you there though

I'm sure it is a weird experience I never got to do it like what was that like for you as a spouse or a partner I guess not a spouse I'd probably be like maybe two steps ahead like a partner like what was how did you view that like what did life look like like would she just come home exhausted and you're just like there to like try to like calm the storm

or were you just like trying to be there like what would that look like exactly that I guess just yeah at the end of the day like I especially as the season went on it gets more grueling and it gets tougher and you know she she had a unique experience in some ways and so that just kind of added to it, but it's always, yeah, just really just trying to make sure that, you know, somebody's there, and there was no pressure, you know, that thing, there was no pressure, no, like, here's one needs to have it, and there's time, or just kind of knew that this was going to be a weird period. We talked about it beforehand, and we're like, we don't know what's going to come from

this, but, like, obviously, we just be relaxed about everything and just go through this, make it through, and so luckily with that mindset going into it, I think we were able to kind of, yeah, just, like, actually grow during that period, and so, like, to go back to question like that's that's kind of how um and why that period was like pretty pitiful it was like i mean living together like that's a huge step like i don't know how often that happens and now quickly but um certainly that so that was a good one that we can do these things and you know people talk about i guess like they say that that's a really difficult thing to do like don't do it but to like do it and then be okay it's like okay like you know don't put limits on what you can

like you know be able to accomplish when you really like you know try to put yourself in a good position yeah and that's what she was able to do with me so what a good statement like that's like a good quote like don't put limits uh we'll do that yeah so yeah it's like this is how things it's supposed to be and it's like no no and it's like we say this but i don't know why people don't but we don't believe it's like we say it you know but like anyways it's been unique and to see it in this realm and how it's kind of shown its head like in this world too in the same way that it does every day alive so so that dance with the stars obviously a big you know pivotal moment what else has stood out to you through like the last year um i say it's like

moving in to get like actually moving in because i mean it's like it was crazy because we had like kind of back to back experiences of like two big moves like dancing with the stars yeah we moved but it was just like okay like for we knew it was like a brief time to LA yeah yeah yeah yeah to make our lives easier and you be able to be out there to support me but actually truly like moving to New York and getting settled with that and like him going like well not going back to work

he were always working but you know it's just like that was like for me a lot and I obviously was a small town girl prior to living in L.A. So like moving to a big city like New York City I was like in for a shock and so there's a little bit of like an adjustment period for me on top of like still recovering

kind of from everything from the show Two back-to-back shows. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, New York naturally is the next, like, milestone. And so it's been interesting how these, like, they're not even, I wouldn't say not hurdles, but these events have happened at these, like, really, like, feels like consistent timeline in the past year that we feel like we've kind of, like, you know, been able to kind of learn a lot from about each other and continue to, like, apply the things that we

do, you know, and, you know, therapy, which is we did it preemptively before. or, you know, like, when there were no issues, right? And it's not even a matter if there's issues. It's just getting in there and talking things out and having that space. And so that's been super helpful to, like, have had that too. And so, yeah, we're, like, in a really good place, like she says, in terms of, like, I don't know, just feeling very lucky that there's so much that can go south, you know, and, like, to be here still, still in love and, like, happy is just feels like a big achievement,

I'm sure, for both of us. Imagine that you're on an airplane, and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers, the pilot is having an emergency, and we need someone, anyone, to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this, until this. Do this, pull that, turn this. It's just...

I can do it my eyes close. I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And on our new show, No Such Thing, we get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need

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or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psycho babble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercoms is the podcast for you. Open your free Iheart radio app. search emergency intercom, and listen now. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York state number, and we own you.

Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning.

Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. But it happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth.

We're the host of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me. New episodes every Wednesday on Exactly Right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hola, it's Honey German.

And my podcast, Grasias Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition. I haven't audition in like over 25 years.

Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shift. sharing their real stories of failure and success. You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending

with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing vivas you've come to expect. And of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know what I'm me?

Yeah. But the whole pretending and cold, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas Has Come Again as part of my Cultura podcast network on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I don't want to skip over the therapy part because, like, my wife and I have always done couples therapy way before there were issues, mostly because of our church and some of the mentors within our church kind of had like guided us on like hey you know this is this is what we did and so we just said well I trust you we'll do it it's been incredible for us yeah um you know it's like uh I feel like

it keeps us one step ahead of where we could become truly but for you two why did you decide to do like where did that come from because you say it and I I I hear it and I want to make it something that people are like no we should just do it it's like it's a great access point it's a great place to check in. It's just a good place to have a third party to hear you out when I'm feeling crazier. When she's feeling crazy, I'm feeling like she's crazy. But why did you guys decide to do that? Yeah. I think like for the both of us, obviously he works in like functional health and then obviously before the show I was doing therapy myself. So I think us just kind of both having that mindset of like we're going to like be proactive, take care of things and be like,

you know, do things ahead of time. But also I think I remember I asked. If not on the show, probably, like, right after we got engaged, like, I asked him, like, I'm just a believer in therapy. Like, I'm in it, like, I was in it myself. So I remember asking him, I'm like, have you ever done therapy? Like, are you open to it? Because I understand, like, a lot of people have it. And it's also, like, that conversation. Yeah, it's like a conversation that, you know, sometimes people are, like, you know, you're kind of walking on X shows to kind of feel how people are about it. But he, like, opened up a lot about just, like, his past. and you know how he felt about therapy and so I was like I absolutely like want to like also encourage that we like do this together too like I think it'll be really helpful for our relationship and so obviously luckily and thankfully the show provided it for us so we took advantage of it because why not like if it's offered to us why are we not doing it type of thing like I don't feel like I'm greater than anything that's going to happen in life and I feel like we both have that like perspective on it so yeah I mean we just took advantage of it and luckily we got

we had to shop around a little bit for a good therapist but luckily we matched with a really good one and we've been with him since and it's truly been phenomenal I think it's helped about things that we didn't even think was a thing or like a problem and we've just learned to navigate of that we've used a lot of the stuff that we've learned to tackle certain things so yeah it's just it's a win for anyone and everyone yeah yeah this show did that um was that one of the things you were pushing for um luckily i didn't have to push for that But I did push for it to be like, you know, can we more? Like, why are we like stopping it off at like four months?

Like we should be like, let's get help couples get to a certain point. If not try to like, you know, extend it as much as possible. And so, yeah, I definitely advocated for as much therapy as possible for us. Now, the two of you obviously are sitting in a place where are you a year, fully a year removed? A year and some months. From like the actual final, like before the filming ended, but like actual final? It's a huge deal, and I don't want to, like, just say that and, like, flash over. It's just exciting to see, you know, the two of you sitting here a year later from your AFR announcement,

knowing the year that you guys have spent together. And I'm sure if you, like, went down and you wrote down all the stuff that's, like, happened in the last year, it would feel longer than the year in a lot of ways. But it's incredible to see the two of you sitting here like you are today, knowing that you've gone through some, like, tough moments. Maybe not just as a couple, but just in general in life. and you've made it through. So obviously we talked about the wedding stuff. We don't have to dive into that much more.

But as you guys look at the future, what kind of things are you excited about? What things are keeping you guys fired up? I mean, one thing is like, obviously it's like marriage will come and then kids, I guess it's like, you know, in somewhat of that order. But we both always feel like being a parent or something that we want to do.

And so that's certainly something that we look forward to, right? like to have a partner that you feel comfortable with that, you know, even before, like, you are married is nice, you know, and that's a really cool bonus. And so I think that's definitely one of the things that that sticks out. Not that we're looking for that, right? Immediately. Like, make that clear. No, no, no.

It makes that clear. Yeah. It's wild. To make that clear, but, like, you know, it's cool to, like, at least feel very comfortable that when the time comes, it'll be good. And so I know that's one of the more serious things. Yeah. but I think also like just like experience like I think just experiencing life we've also like yes things like post show but like just also like finding things that we both like that's not related to the show and like diving into that like traveling a lot more experiencing all these things together and like for me like that's just something again like he said it's exciting when just like okay don't mind or like I want to do these like I love doing this with this person and it makes it just so much more fun so obviously like we can talk about

about work and like career things but like that's just a given I think almost but when you look at our relationship together and what we want from each other it's just like I said just experiencing life and being happy and being in a good place to where we know like no matter what like whatever's done our way or just like if we decide to do this we're going to have a blast doing it and being content yeah done charity had a moment that reminded me of my wife earlier um they're sneaky girls are sneaky and I want to tell you what I saw

you very before you came Blake had showed up with his baby and I was holding Heath it was a great moment and charity I could hear Charity say

I would love to hold a baby and I was like I get the hint you can hold this baby so I walked Heath over to Charity so Charity gets it by the time I walked I handed the baby off and I walked back to my seat

I heard Charity say where's Dot Nat and I needed to see this that's crazy I need to see you this I do well it's vice versa I was like I also want to see you hold the baby too

but I did I gotta just like you know picture that a little bit I'm funny to see that's insane so be careful so be careful listen I'm very vocal about it

so it's nothing sneaky I'm like I have baby fever I don't have it I do have it it it reminded me of my wife Because I've had those moments where I walk into the room and all of a sudden there's this really cute baby in her lap and she's, you know, bouncing in, like, and smiling at me. I mean, I'm like, I get what you're trying to do here.

The pupils dilate. Yeah. Everything changes. The hair's going to get out of here fast because I know exactly what I'm about to do. Well, hey, I'm just pumped for the two of you. Thanks for coming on and hanging out. I look up to you guys. I respect you too.

I can't wait to see what, what's next just in terms of. of like great things of life. And I think a lot of people probably are looking up to you that are listening and just admiring how do you guys handle life. And so I appreciate you guys hanging out and just kicking it with us. And, you know, playing golf today. I mean, what a day.

I still have to show you my golf thing. I got to see it. I got to see it. I did see all the girls in the 18 Fairway when I was done doing a TikTok. I thought they'd forgotten that they were playing golf today. but they're dancing instead. Naturally. Yeah, they were doing a...

Surprise it took the 18th hole. Well, it didn't. I'm sure there's about four others. There's a couple others. There's a couple others back there. Charity and Don, you guys are great. Thanks again. Oh, my God.

Thank you. Thank you for having us. Thanks for them. Follow the Ben and Ashley I. Almost Famous Podcasts on IHart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Emanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips.

And we run a podcast called Emerging. Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.

Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. They gave you the answers and you still blew it. The puzzler. Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth. Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. Locked in. That means more juicy chisement.

Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season. Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley.

And I'm Maya. Get in here. Listen to the super secret bestie club on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, it's honey German, and I'm back with season two of my podcast. Grasias, come again. We got you when it comes to the latest in music and entertainment with interviews with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition?

No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in like over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We'll talk about all that's viral and trending with a little bit of cheesement and a whole lot of laughs. And of course, the great vivras you've come to expect.

Listen to the new season of Dacias Come Again on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you'd be. get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast.