The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - The Best Place with Charity Lawson

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

Charity Lawson is hanging out with Ben and letting us in on her life, career, and her relationship with Dotun Olubeko!  Charity opens up about how things are going since The Bachelorette, her wedding plans with Dotun, and why we might see more of her on TV in the future! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your... free iHeartRadio app search emergency internetcom and listen now I just normally do straight stand-up but this is a bit different what do you get when a true crime producer

walks into a comedy club answer a new podcast called Wisecrack where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story does anyone know what show they've come to see it's a story it's about the scariest night of my life

this is Wisecrack available now listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. But it happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth.

We're the hosts of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me. New episodes every Wednesday on Exactly Right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Do we really need another podcast with a condescending finance brof trying to tell us how to spend our own money? No thank you. Instead, check out Brown Ambition.

Each week, I, your host, Mandy Money, gives you real talk, real advice with a heavy dose of I feel uses. Like on Fridays when I take your questions for the BAQA. Whether you're trying to invest for your future, navigate a toxic workplace, I got you. Listen to Brown Ambigu. on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, I'm Jenna Lopez, and in the new season of The Overcomfit Podcast, I'm even more honest, more vulnerable, and more real than ever. Am I ready to enter this new part of my life?

Like, am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? Join me for conversations about healing and growth, all from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Listen to the new season of the Overcombered podcast on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. This is the Ben and Ashley I, Almost Famous Podcast with IHartRadio. So almost famous podcast, we are here with, I can't even say this high enough. Bachelor Nation favorite charity, welcome.

Hello, thank you. All right, charity, we're going to dive in right away. Yeah, it was good to it. You're a busy human, and I want to respect your time. Thank you. You're sitting here in San Francisco with us at Winty Winery's. Yeah. We're having a great evening.

We are. It's been a fantastic evening. Great dinner. Great wine. Everybody's downstairs. I can hear them downstairs like doing whatever they're doing. I hope the music's going. They're probably dancing.

And that brings me the first question, Dance with the Stars. Yes. You've been public recently about your time on Dancing with the Stars. Kind of what that meant. for you. Here's the interesting thing. And I want to say this, I'm not just asking this question based on nothing. When I got off of the bachelor, one of the advice, and I won't tell me, say who, one of the advice I got from a past bachelor was don't do it because it's really hard in a relationship. It's like really hard. And I didn't really believe it at the time, but I didn't do it.

Yeah. Because I just could see that it would maybe push me in a direction I wasn't ready for. Yeah. I want to hear from you personally. Like, why did you say yes to it? And did you ever get that same advice. Okay, yes. To both of those questions, we'll start with the first one. Why did I say yes? I was very much like you in that position of where I was extremely hesitant to do it and I was probably the one out of our relationship, me and Daughton, was the one that was leaning more towards no and for that same reason. But Donne was like, hey, you should do it? 100%. He definitely pushed me and, you know, like obviously you talk to like, for it, I talked to like Caitlin, I talked to Hannah, I talked to Abby and obviously like they had at the time were in different like positions that I was in in

terms of like couples and where they were at but they also like obviously it's extremely hard and so like take your relationship into consideration and for me like I had two weeks in between like when my season wrapped until I left to go train for dancing with the start so like that's a lot on a relationship you're like becoming public you're trying to celebrate your engagement like there's so many things happening and like I sat on my contract for like months like I had my contract like obviously when they first like brought it up but like I didn't sign it and they were like trying to get it in because I was one of the last ones to like get casted for it but I didn't want to because I was like so scared and so I remember like asking Dot and we were in Vegas

at the time I was like everyone's telling me like obviously like take your relationship into consideration don't do it or like think you know think a lot about it and he was like truly honestly like this is a once in a lifetime opportunity like I am going to support you every single step of the way like this should be the last thing that you're worried about. And so, like, because I knew, like, obviously where we stood in our relationship and how much, like, like, strength and how secure he was, I was like, okay, I'm trusting you. And, like, I really just went on a whim and was like, you know what? Whatever happens? Like, I'm hoping for the best. But it was terrifying because I was like, I don't, I don't want to walk away from this, like, with a failed relationship because

I said yes, another opportunity. So now you guys say how many months removed from, like, the end of the show? almost so we wrapped the finale was in December 2023 so we're about like almost six seven months out over that yeah have you do you feel like you're stronger today than you were then um not really actually yeah yeah um it's crazy because it's like I don't want to like say like the experience wasn't like good because there was good moments in it but it's really like a let alone from just like the physical like you know exhaustion and how much it is on you, it's a lot mentally and emotionally. And so I think because I was in the unique position of having a juggle and like foster a new relationship and engagement and try to like spend as much time as I could with Dotten and like giving part of myself to him for that,

I was also like exerting a lot of like my energy to like the whole experience. And I think that like just completely like broke me down. Not in a bad way, but it's just like it's a lot. And like I'm one person. I only have so much to give, um, to all these areas of my life. And I really do feel like I walked away from that like more drained obviously than when I came in. And it took a minute for me to kind of just get my mental and everything back on track. But yeah. What have you guys learned as a couple then? Um, going through that. Yeah. And kind of like where you sit even now, going through that and then coming out of it. Yeah. Um, I think like it's just like there's so many elements and in parts of that. but like my thing like when obviously dotten came to LA to stay with me and he sacrificed so much so

I realized how much like you know obviously he was sacrificing but like also for me like I think communication was like a huge piece which it's so cliche to say communication but in what ways did that look like I was gone a lot like I was gone the majority of the day but also like him being at home him working a lot and then like trying to find time to like obviously make you know make time for date nights things like that I think like we reached a point where we had to like start just like communicating our needs and like it was something that we learned in couple's therapy of like not expecting like the other partner to read each other's minds of like where you feel like you're at or like what you expect your partner to like read or know about you. And that was something that I think I had to like start telling more like to dot and I'm like, okay, I'm tired today or like today. I'm just not in the best headspace because practice was so hard and I just feel like I'm not myself or whatever that is and it's not you. You know it just required a lot more like attentiveness in that. And area than I expected and I think that was something that we both like learned together but like it wasn't a bad hurdle it was like a good one in a way because it helped us like obviously learn more about

each other so that makes sense yeah it makes a lot of sense yeah and I I want to transition a little bit here because you're in a unique season right now where you're getting ready to you know well the new bachelor's season is upon us right and um people will know gin as the last bachelor's right most recent yeah I remember when I was The Bachelor and that next season came about and like you're ready for it and there's an excitement because you're ready to give it up

but then at times I missed it. I missed the idea that like hey people were really interested in what I was doing. You're also in a unique season because I think at this point people start to know

if the relationship they're in is either going to work or it's not. Yes. If I was to ask you just straight up like do you believe that Dodden is the one still for you, what would you say? What, yeah, I would. I definitely would say yes.

And have you all, have you believed that since the moment you got engaged or has this been like an, like, have you gotten to a point now because of these hurdles, because of things you've gone through where you're like, no, it was great back then. It was that euphoria. It was that new kind of like puppy love. But now we got something that I know could last. That's the thing. I think it's like you come off the show, you in, like in an engagement, you're on this

high and it's like, yeah, like this is it. and you're kind of still in that little bit of what we call like the bubble love. But I think for us, which is, again, what I was scared about, like, starting dancing with the stars and doing all these opportunities so soon was like, oh, that's going to come like crashing down so fast. But I think if anything, like since dancing with the stars and then moving to New York and having all these like actual life adjustments, like being able to tackle those, but tackle those in a way that for us was so healthy and it wasn't something that like scared me about this person or like doing or learning these things. I was like, wait a minute, like, this is actually really good for us. Like, we're doing these things now, and it's not scaring me from you. If anything, it's making us stronger and, like, we're learning how to navigate these things. So I think, like, like I said, it brought us closer in that way.

But, like, it's reality for me. And I think that's, like, been the grounding thing of, like, we're not actually, like, still, like, you know, we still do stuff and we're able to, like, have fun. But, like, there's this beauty of, like, just being in reality in, like, doing all these things that is actually a part of life. it's not like what people see obviously on social media we share the good parts but like we're experiencing all these like real life tests and I think that has helped us it's like so incredible I mean being married there is a beauty in that like slow down yeah and to where like yes we're still doing things intentionally to connect with each other but just that like you can wake up every day and be like no I got my partner here.

Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom. come and listen now. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York state number, and we own you.

Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything.

Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. podcast. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance, bro, tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates, I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets. I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it. And in fact, it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app,

or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season.

Oh. Well, this season, we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here. Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new Super Secret Bestie is the divo of the people. The devil of the people. I'm just like text your ex.

My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it. Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and of course, our favorite secrets.

Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Thura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts. podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Hola, it's HoneyGerman. And my podcast, Grasasas Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment with raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition? No, I didn't audition.

I haven't audition in like over 25 years. Oh, wow. That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters sharing their real stories of failure and success. You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending

with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs, and those amazing Vibras you've come to expect. And, of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day,

you know what I'm me? Yeah. But the whole pretending and, you know, it takes a toll on you. Listen to the new season of Grasas Has Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network On the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. So you've still been very much involved with the show here recently too. Like they've really like called you up and asked you to come and I know how that works, right? They have to call you and you're like, yeah, I'll come back.

It's cool that you want me to show up on TV again, even though I'm, you know, removed from the show at this point. So I want to hear about that. I also want to hear what, I guess, to start. Yeah. What is your view of the show as you sit here today? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, starting with the first one, obviously, like, them calling me up.

I am very close with, like, a lot of the producers still, and that's, like, been the nice part of it. It's like, I haven't or there wasn't any fracture in relationships, which I can. say I walked away from my experience saying like that was probably one of the best things that I did. And I'm really grateful for that because it could have looked very differently. So yeah, like obviously being close with the producers like in, you know, them wanting to like utilize my voice in certain things. I've been grateful for that. But it's also been hard because I feel like, you know, we all know like usually the history with leads. Like you either are on the good side or you're not. And yeah, I feel like for the last like few years, maybe a few

of the bachelorets have kind of just like walked away from the franchise or just are not as involved. And obviously for me, like, I feel like my role in that is, like, I've been very vocal about, like, advocating for certain things and, like, the changes in the show of, like, you know, what we need a change over the years and how we can, like, improve or make this better. But yeah, like, um, yeah, it's like, I don't know. It's, it's a good thing, but I don't know. How have they handled that? Like, what do those conversations look like to you? Yeah. Um, I feel like, and this, I talked about this recently on another, like, podcast, I feel like for me, a lot of the things that I have seen changed was, I don't want to say

it's because of my doing, but I definitely, like, I brought up a lot of things to them ahead of time. And then, like, just speaking, for instance, like, obviously with Joey's season, like, I advocated a lot for a lot of the things that we saw at, like, the woman tell all, like, with the Rachel situation. Like, she was going through a lot and she, like, actually reached. out to me and I think like at the time like she was very hesitant to like even talk to the producers about it obviously because of you know the history of how like certain things have

been handled in the past but I basically totally yeah you know like encouraging her like here's how to go about this but also like saying you know what I will also speak to them on your behalf and see if there's anything like I can do so it's like things like that I'm grateful to be a part of and I feel like the show is trying to like make you know efforts in like making things better which I will say, like, they have since my season, at least, I feel like they've gotten a lot better. But, like, still, you know, we always know there's still ways to go with all of this in the change. But, yeah. So how would you, like, how are you navigating that personally?

Mm-hmm. Because it is a show you're still associated with. You're still going on. You're still trying to have these conversations. At the end of it all, like, what is your kind of, like, goal? Yeah. It's exhausting. It's like, it's one of those things that I was trying to say.

It's like I feel like I'm one of the only leads that actually are like remaining that still is like actively involved in speaking and doing all these things. So it is exhausting. I feel like at times for me to like do that and feel like I have to do that. But I also just like in the type of person at my heart just I want like whoever comes behind me to have a better experience or to like be like, oh, I remember at this time this was like this. And now, you know, you can look back and be like a year later like we've made this much. change. So I guess like that's like my overall thing. I know like I'm one person and I can't do it all. Like it's going to take like a collaborative effort. But I think if the only way for me to still like kind of remain active in that sense and be as involved as I am is like hoping that I can like somehow just improve or help improve things. So that's kind of my goal. It's just like making it better for the next person after. Are you doing this because you care about the show or you think the show has a platform that could. be better

and make a change that like would affect millions. Yeah, both. I care about this show in the sense that because it worked out for me, I probably feel like if I didn't get so much from it or if I didn't like meet Don or if it didn't work out for me

and I feel like again, the producers were really hands on in that sense and really heard like my heart during my season. I want to believe that. So I'm going to tell myself that. But like, yeah, because it worked out for me like I do have like, it's like a deep spot in my heart for them, but like, yeah, I just also think like their platform could be so much

better and utilize better in different ways. Yeah. It's such an interesting point too. Like, it brought you so much. Like, it brought you the love of your life. Yeah. And I've got to see you guys together and see you a couple times together. Me, he's an incredible dude. Yeah. But like, it is something special when the show for all the faults and the failures and all the things that happened, it is still wild that it can work. Exactly. Yeah, no, we think about that every day. It's like, we like to say we got lucky, but also it's like, no, like I feel like we just were in the right place at the right time. And, you know, Dot and being, like you said, just a very intentional guy in person. It's crazy that our paths cross the way it did. But yeah, very fortunate.

And it's every day we're like, how did we end up here? But it's because of the show, which is nuts. So what's next then? Like, what do you guys look at as? a couple like what are you excited about i mean i have on my notes here that uh i don't know if you've mentioned anywhere but like you know wedding planning those types of things that obviously come with the territory and the common questions that get asked when you get engaged on the show yeah like just what it what does a life look like now in your ideal world moving forward yeah um yeah so obviously when we got off the show we like kind of hit the ground running i think i mean obviously it was like a little pause because i went on dancing with the stars but right after that we kind of

dove like a little bit right into wedding planning but then um and we announced like the time frame which is still the same but the more we looked about looked at it was like why are we like rushing right now to plan a wedding like right off the bat like we have like almost like almost two years it's like a year and like a few months um in between so I was like we have time and like we don't have we don't want like super big weddings besides the Nigerian one so I think we collectively just both kind of talk it over and I was like we just want to enjoy this we don't want it to be like it's hassle still and it kind of took a minute for us to kind of hot back into normal life like I went on tour and did dance with the stars tour so just like me like getting my grounding again

taking time to like work on my mental health um following the show and then dot and just working a lot we were just like let's just enjoy each other there's like not a rush and I think that has like probably served us better and like I said just like navigating life on on top of it it's a lot and like when you start wedding planning you want to devote everything to it because it's such a big day but, you know, we're happy where we're at and, like, just taking a moment and just taking a beat. So we're going to dive back into it sooner, but just taking time for us. Now, this might be naive, but I think I'm hearing this, right? Yeah.

You said you don't want big weddings except the Nigerian. I know. Yeah. So time happens. Yes, I know. So there's multiple weddings happening. Yes, yes, yeah. So we're doing like two, but when I say two, it's not like two big weddings.

One of them is going to be a traditional wedding, American weddings. which is going to be like a smaller size, like, guest list. But the Nigerian wedding, it's, you can't have a Nigerian wedding and say, I want like 50 guests. It's not a thing. Like, tell me all about it. I don't know anything about a Nigerian wedding. They, they party like, it's like a three day, like thing.

It's a lot of people. It's a big thing. So that's how I was like, that's going to be the big wedding and we're going to say that. And we're trying to time it to where it's not spaced out, like super like I get married like three months before and then we have to come back and do another wedding. trying to do it to where it's kind of like just like a wedding week it's all together um but yeah i'm like trying to gear up for the niger one which is going to be like 400 people it's like insane they have like so many people there and it's it's nuts yeah what is like what is like if yeah go

as somebody that's like completely unaware what happens at these weddings yeah so traditionally it's like three days like over the course it can be as long as you want it but like usually it's like a weekend or two days at least um and the first like the first set of it is just like the traditional part of it but then like they have like this whole day where it's just like truly the reception and the reception is like the big party so like when you see it it's like everyone's in traditional garments like the bridal parties groom everyone is in the guests are in traditional garments and it's just really you think about it it's like I'm trying to explain it but it's just like when you I don't want to say like when you go out but like just think about like a big celebration and you

have everybody, like all of your family. It's not just like, oh, mom and dad and sisters. It's like everyone extended family. Yeah, literally everybody. And one of the really fun parts that I've learned, which I got to like kind of experience it at Doughton's brother when he was graduating from med school this past spring is that they throw money. So like, there's like money showers.

Help me in. No, he was like, yeah, I want to be there. But it's like for the bride and groom and you just like let people just try like shower you with money. And it's crazy. it's like a whole thing so well both these happen here in the u.s um no the Nigerian when we're trying to like plan it in Nigeria like that's locking in the date yeah that's the crazy part we're going to Nigeria yeah no wonder you're taking some time no I know it's a lot it's a lot

to do yeah but this excites you I mean I think that's the most the thing I would love for people to hear as we close up here is the sentiment of where you're at today like if I was to ask you the question how are you doing and like where you at your response would be? Probably in the best place that I could be at following everything that I've just went through. Just taking time for myself, taking time to just continue fostering my relationship with Doughton, for me getting like my career goals back in line and like figuring out just like what's next with that. But like right now I'm just like, yeah, enjoying life. Like I think that's the best thing for me. Yeah. It's a great thing. Yeah. You're thriving. Thank you. This is a really fun

season. I'm excited for you. Thank you. Thanks for coming here and thanks for hanging out with us. guys for having me thank you follow the ben and ashley i almost famous podcasts on iHeart radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD

oh my god perfect and want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom's the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club?

Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life. This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. But it happens all the time to people just like you.

And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc and I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the hosts of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and activists. experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast season four is here.

And we're locked in. That means more juicy chisement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special Bestie and your next. not going to want to miss it. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. Get in here!

Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy Truthers believe in... I guess they It would be conspiracy theorists. That's right. They gave you the answers and you still blew it. The Puzzler.

Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.