The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - The Biggest Hometown Date of All with Ben's Girlfriend Jess

Episode Date: February 26, 2019

This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for, Ben’s new girlfriend Jess is on the podcast! We hear about the crazy move he pulled on their first date, and what exactly Ben said when he slid into her DMs! We answer many of your questions about Jess!Plus, Ashley has info from the Women Tell All, and reveals why we’re in store for the BEST Bachelor episode of all time. And we break down the difference between “I’m in love with you” and “I’m falling in love with you”. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Season 2 with brand new stories. The detective comes driving up fast and just like screeches right in the parking lot. I swear I'm not crazy, but I think he poisoned me. I feel trapped. My breathing changes. I realize, wow, like he is not a mentor. He's pretty much a monster. But these aren't just stories of destruction.

They're stories of survival. I'm going to tell my story and I'm going to hold my head up. Listen to Betrayal Weekly on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcast with IHartRadio. Should we start, like, opening up this show and saying the Ben and author Ashley I podcast? You're very sweet. There's a formal title that we can give you. Like doctor?

Well, then it would be like philanthropist, Ben. Ben Higgins and author, Ashley and Eddie, we get real deep and, like, obsessed with ourselves. Let's not do that. Let's not do that. I don't think people would like that at all. Hey, if you haven't yet, make sure to go out and buy Ashley and Jared's new book. I've read it from the back. It's terrific.

I've learned a lot about my own self through it. Ashley, where can they buy it? They can buy it right now at Lucy and Clarkbook.com. And then at the end of March, it'll be on Amazon. But why get it on Amazon in six weeks if you can get it now at Lucy and Clark Book? dot com. It'll be in your mailbox or at your door within a week. And then it'll also be in bookstore at the end of March. Ben, we are doing a special little celebration for it next week. You're flying out to L.A. We're going to have dinner at Mr. Chow's, which is super good.

I've only been there on an awkward date like I talked about last week. But Ben, have you ever had Mr. Chows? I know of Mr. Chow. I hear big things about him. He's very popular in the food community here in L.A. So good. you'll eat with me, Jared, and a couple other bachelor friends. And we're putting that dinner up for bid. If you go to if only.com, proceeds go to the American Red Cross. And you get to have dinner with me, Ben, Jared, and a couple other of our bachelor friends.

And in addition, it is open to the public to go to Planet Blue in Malibu at 6 o'clock next Monday, March 4th. and you guys can just hang out with us we'll probably do a book reading we'll do some book signing and then we'll just be chatting so open forum to come hang out with some of your bachelor faves next Monday in Malibu

at Planet Blue 6 o'clock all right Ben after that shameless plug let's get back to how your trip in Honduras was yeah I just got back generous adventures we call up it's part of generous

international which is best known as generous coffee so we started generous adventures which takes trips to our coffee farms all around the world. And so we do it a couple times a year. This trip was special because we went to Honduras. We visited our new coffee farm, which is called Honduras Coffee Kids. And this is a farm that the kids of producers, so the kids of families that have been in coffee for hundreds of years, are now learning how to grow specialty coffee.

And so we went and visited them. We also went and visited the communities that our coffee sales and T-shirt sales are going to. We brought 22 people with us in the U.S. and we drove across Honduras, experienced the whole country. It was really awesome. So cool. It was really fun. I honestly, Ash, every time I go down, you know, sometimes I think for all of us who, you know, work and we have all our own specific jobs, sometimes we kind of get in this routine.

And I'm talking to a young lady right now who listens to a podcast. And she's just texting me today. And she's like, I'm just kind of in a rut. Like, I'm depressed. I'm sad. And it's because I don't feel a purpose. And I think these trips allow all of us to experience a purpose again. Like feel like we have human connection, feel like we can make a difference in the world,

feel like we can take a step away from the regular routines and just recalibrate and see what it is that makes life important. And ultimately, I believe that's people. And so I feel great being back. My stomach is healthy, which is always a good plus. No parasite this time. No parasite. but it was yeah it was great so and everybody on the trip you know as big fans of yours

Ashley they listen to the podcast and and it's really cool to hear their feedback after they get to know me personally I mean they spend a whole week with me in a bus and so after they get to know me personally and hear you know kind of their critique of the podcast and just how much they like it and they love our banter and it just always makes me smile because it's you know two years in almost to this thing and and it does for feel like you and I have helped create something really awesome. So anyways, I feel very blessed right now. I feel very full. And I'm very excited about what's to come, not enough for generous, but almost famous. Do you feel a lot of that full happiness because you brought your lady

just to Honduras with you? I did. Yeah, I think so. She, you know, it's, you think that has part of it. Yeah, no, no, I know so. So this is what happened, Ashley. And, and Jessica's going to going to come on the podcast here today in just a little bit and talk with both of us. Ashley's going to grill her. I mean, it's going to be great. I'm not. There's nothing to grill. But, you know, when Jess and I started dating, you know, in early February or early December, really,

she knew I was going on this trip. And she on her own accord said, hey, I just want this for myself. I'm going to sign up if you're okay with me going. So it was just awesome for her to invent. and to kind of, one of the things that I love and, uh, and for her to choose to go. And so she came down for the three days of the trip and got to meet everybody. And, uh, and we just kind of got to take a week away as we announced that, that we are dating, uh, that we're happily dating, that things are good. And I'm excited for the world to get to know her because she is a,

she's a really special person. Okay, everybody freaked out last week. Everybody was so excited for you. And I think just like gained 60,000 Instagram followers. Like, that's how many people are eager to know about the lady in your life. I know. Isn't that crazy? She told me she's like, what can I? Because Jess has a story to tell, and it's not mine to tell. But just a story of how she's gotten to where she's at and the things that she's kind of worked through in her life is incredible.

I mean, the woman she is today is something special. And so she was like, you know, what is going to happen? And she is not a social media person at all. She likes it. She does it for what she needs it for. Um, but then when the followers started creeping up, she was like, what in the heck do I do? And I was like, I think you just keep being yourself.

Um, but yeah, that was a big day for her, a big day for us. Uh, and, and it's exciting. I mean, I want, it's always excited when somebody can have a platform to speak on things they love. And I think now Jess definitely does. And, and I'm happy to show her off to the world, uh, because I do think she, uh, is somebody that everybody will enjoy and appreciate. And, uh, you know, I say often that I like.

people. I think I do, right? I do. But there's days that I do not. She legitimately likes people, like legitimately cares a ton about each human being she comes in contact with and like emotionally invests into them. And so, I mean, that is a type of person that everybody needs to know. And I know that you wouldn't be so open and public about her if you didn't see a future. Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, you know, it hasn't been very long. And I don't want to put a ton of pressure on us because I don't know if that's fair but I would never put a relationship out there that I didn't feel like could handle it one and that was healthy enough to be sustained and then also one that I think people need to know about I'm not going to freak out and you know start saying

crazy things and act like this is the the end all be all yet you're not going to I know it's you're not going to pull Tom Cruise and jump on the couch right now no no but this is so good Ash. It really is. And I'm excited for her to come up podcast. I'm actually excited. You're like, so smiley. You guys, I get to see him on FaceTime, Skype, or whatever. He's, like, so, like, he's got, like, all the smile wrinkles right now. It's, like, his face kind of hurts. It's so cute.

I agree. So this is everybody out there listening. Ashley, you have to hear this. She goes, this is our text thread the day. I said, hey, you ready for the big interview today? She says, probably not. Do I get the questions you're going to ask beforehand? Or am I good?

Just a wing. I said, just swing it. Be yourself. It'll be great. I'll help you out. She goes, okay, don't embarrass me or anything. I said, we will see. She goes, we're a team.

If I embarrass myself, I embarrass you. So. Oh, that's so cute. All right. Let's get closer to this interview. First, we're going to do the show recap, the hometown recap, and then we are going to get into Jess. I feel like everybody out there is like, okay, I'm going to fast forward until Jess. And then I'll come back for the recap.

But you cannot. You guys, let the tension build, build the suspense. It'll be so fun. first we're going to talk about something I've been using to get in shape for our wedding, not our wedding, you know, my wedding with Jared. So I've been, I always feel like it goes hand in hand, like eating better and working out. So this week I actually started working out and that way I feel like it'll be a nice balance and I'll start really seeing results. And I've been using something called Open Fit, which takes all the complexity out of losing weight and getting fit. It's brand new. It's super simple. It's a streaming service that allows you to work out in the comfort of your own living room for just as little as 10 minutes of day, if that's what you have. Everybody's body is different and open fit gets that. They are personalized to your needs with custom tailored original content. Open fit classes are led by some of the most effective in engaging trainers in the world. Scope your body with Andrea Rogers, the founder of Worldwide Sensation, Extend Bar. I love Bar.

classes or getting crazy good shape with Hunter McIntyre. You view all this content on a web-enabled TV, tablet, smartphone, Roku, whatever you got in your living room. And you can lose up to 15 pounds in just the first 30 days. This is a proven thing. It's happened before. You can flatten your abs, shape your body, and look and feel great. My favorite class is 600 seconds. It's that 10-minute workout I mentioned. And it includes fat burning, muscle building, and body sculpting with trainer devon wiggins you can choose from over 42 high intensity workouts of every type and every style and it's free like what that's so crazy but sometimes i only have 10 minutes or or actually it's more accurate i mean i have more than 10 minutes okay i hate them people

are like and even have 10 minutes like you you do but sometimes you don't feel like working out for more than 10 minutes which is why i really like this is why i like this one open fit like i mentioned it's for free when you use our code almost famous you can join us on this fitness journey personalized just for you with the code almost famous so the thing is right now open fit is during a 30 day challenge our listeners get a specific our listeners get a special extended 30 day free trial membership to open fit where you can lose up to 15 pounds and 30 days and because you have 30 days of a free trial membership you can really test out this theory. So all you got to do is text almost famous to 30, 30, 30, and you will get full

access to open fit, all the workouts and all the nutrition information totally free. Again, just text almost famous to 30, 30, 30. We got to do the breakdown. It's hometown week. One of the craziest weeks out there in Bachelor Nation. Colton, Colton seems like the guy, at least if I'm a father, that I would like to come home with my daughter. I think he's going to be fine here oh yeah he's kind of like you i mean a lot of people have been comparing him to you he's the best badgelish and spen higgins he gives that warm wholesome vibe he he walks into your house and you're like okay this guy this he's kind of like every father's dream right do you agree with that comparison yeah i do yeah you think he has he's got those vibes he has

those warm fuzzy vibes he's well spoken he doesn't seem like he can do any harm okay and you know how in this episode cassie shows a lot of um she's very unsure i feel like she's unsure about him she's the only one that hasn't said i'm falling in love with you i think it's because she may like a guy who's a little rougher around the edges i think she wants more of a bad boy really like he's too he's too also we're not going to say soft are we're soft a good word to use? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if Colton wants to call him soft.

He's like really approachable. He doesn't invoke any nerves from her. I think that she's like actually like it's like so comfy to be around him and she may want a guy that's going to make her a little bit more nervous. She's a little more intimidated by. Okay. Well, let's jump in here. We've got four, uh, women here still in the show.

Kaelin, Hannah G. Uh, Tisha. and Cassie. Well, Kaelin is no longer here after this episode. But for this episode, we're breaking it down. Colton shows up to Kailen's house in Virginia. Here's what, here's my takeaways, Ashley. I want you to chime in here.

Her, you know, her father is not in the picture. Her stepdad is there. Her stepdad to me, it just comes off as this dude that is so loving. Like he just wants Kailen and the rest of the family. to know how much he loves her and so when kailen sits down with him and says these are some of the moments in the show where you're like okay finally like you have uh an opportunity to let somebody know how much you mean to him and kailen does that by saying you've always been my dad and i love you you've been the best dad and you just see this guy like he doesn't even know how to respond this man

was such a cute little mush it was that was really that was my favorite kailen moment it was one of my favorite kailen moments it was a good one now you know the hometown States are always interesting. There's not a lot to talk about here because Colton walks in. He meets the family. There's a lot of them to meet. I mean, there's a ton of family members meet. Her stepdad is kind of the picture of what we're focusing on. Is the stepdad going to like Colton? Is he not? And the stepdad is just a much. Like, he's a great dude. You can tell he loves this family so much. But Ashley, I got to ask, okay, so that we can build on this here. This is obviously the episode that Kaylin goes home. Leading up to this point, Kailen went from being a frontrunner. Kalyn obviously was vulnerable. She shared the depths of her pains with Kolden and how she's been a survivor and is a survivor. But outside of those things, what happened in their relationship? Because you could kind of tell that this was the end for Kailen before the episode even started.

You saw the distance. Really before the episode started? I think so. I think you knew out of all these girls that Kaylin was the one that was definitely on the chopping block, that something had to change here. And after this first date, I thought that not enough happened to prove, even though she shared that she was falling for him to prove that she was going to be around, what's happened in their love story or their dating story that kind of made them separate? I think there's just a lot of, I think it just came to a standstill. I think that a lot of their conversations probably ended in her, like, giggling and not getting too deep. I think that he was, like, trying to get past the flirty phase, and maybe they didn't get past that giggly, flirty phase.

I think it was a telltale sign when she said, I'm fully in love with you now, because she said, I'm falling last week. And Colton didn't say anything back. And with the other three this week, he said it, he said, I'm falling in love with you, too. Which, Ben, is there really a difference between I'm falling in love with you and I am in love with you? Because you got so much crap on your season for saying, I love you to two women. But he's saying, I'm falling in love with three women. So is it really that much of a difference? You know, there really isn't.

And Ashley, I think on this show saying I'm falling in love with you, maybe even in real life, like in dating, say I'm falling in love with you is pretty much saying like I am in love with you without actually saying the words. And I could be wrong. And if I am, please email us at Ben and Ashley at iHeartMedia.com, but this is just my opinion. I think every year, you know, we've consistently seen people tell people on the show, I'm falling in love with you, which what they really want to say, what you really want to say is, I just absolutely adore you, or I love you. The funny part about this, and Colton did what every Bachelor and Bachelor has ever done in the history of the world, is once you get in an awkward scenario, what do you do with Kalin?

He didn't feel it. He didn't want to lie to her. Good on, good on Colton. He did not apply. He kisses her. He glines in for the big smackeroo. That is the universal bachelor language for this is getting awkward and I don't want to keep it getting awkward. I will say like if you did this in real life, would you ever have like phase one where you go, I'm falling in love with you?

And then like a month later you go, I am in love with you. Like no, you just wait until you are in love. Yeah, you don't like tease it. Like, well, why aren't you really in love with me? I don't know, but I'm falling. I'm almost there. I know. No, because you don't have the urgency in real life.

Like, you don't have to say it at a certain point. Like, now if you're not saying it by hometowns, it's like red flag, red flag. Like with Cassie, people are like, oh, my God, she doesn't like him enough to stay anymore. Exactly. Yeah, like, oh my gosh, she doesn't love Colton. She's out. She cannot be the one. Like, she's done.

This is going to get interesting towards the end. I do think that after that date, it was very clear that Kaill was going home. I actually, just to end the Kalin segment here, when I was with Colton in Denver, it was the week before this, right? And we went through every single one of the women that he had left. And when he got to Kalen, he was very into her, very excited about her, said that they related on a lot of levels. They had a very good conversation.

That wasn't shown, obviously, on the show, but he was like, I'm really, really into Kalen. And so once I watched last week and this week, it was surprising to me how much I felt like his feelings had changed in just a week and a half after speaking with him in person. Wait, so Ben, I remember when I was like, give me the dirt, you met with Colton this week in the middle of taping his season. And you pretty much said that you thought that that Kalen was going to be it. I did. I was convinced. After seeing it in his eyes, like it was like he had a relationship with Kalen that was so peaceful, comfortable, understanding, and supportive. And that's kind of how he explained. I was like, well, that's your wife. Like, that's it. And something changed.

Now obviously I haven't had a chance to talk to him about it and I haven't asked them those questions but I remember very clearly like you said I came back saying this Kaelin, whoever she is she's one to watch out for it. I know because I remember I think I could say it now but you were like she tells this story of sexual assault and it kind of gives more detail into his virginity

and then you were like and I think this might be the girl for him. Yeah like they were able to immediately relate and interact on a whole new level like a deeper level one that I don't know, I don't know Colton's, um, who he's told and who he hasn't. I mean, obviously now he's told millions of people, but before this, I think it was hard for Colton to open up. And I felt like he could with Kalin, which builds the foundation, obviously, for anything in the future.

So a little shocking. Uh, my front runner at the beginning of the season is now gone leading into, uh, maybe my frontrunner now, Hannah G. Hannah G's from Alabama and she's got manners. We saw this week that she wants a man. that has etiquette she takes colton to an etiquette class you know here's the thing these hometown dates are always fun for me because you get to see a little bit more about the person and who they are

I felt like Hannah G's just kind of date idea of the etiquette class was good and cute and fun but it didn't help me get to know her at all is that something like she does like on the side is she I mean at the end of the episode she rapped for us why not take them to a rapping class I don't know, but she did so good at the rap, and I think that we saw the most personality from her we've ever seen.

That date seemed like the one that I would most like to be part of. I mean, not the manners part, the hometown part, like the family part, was like, okay, this is the family that would most like to hang out with. They seem the most comfortable to be around the one that was grilling him a little bit less. What do you think? Yeah, I agree. I mean, her mom was the one in the whole group that was distilled. Right. She didn't love this idea. She was the most protective in the whole group. But like as the table kind of started talking and especially in the little blooper at the end that we watched, you saw this table and it looked like a fun table to sit around. Like that's a table. I want to drink wine, talk life, rap with, laugh with like no judgment at that table. But you know, the Hannah G. Colton relationship is one that I do think has legs. She is still my front runner. But until the very end of the episode, I see.

still didn't see Hannah G and Colton really laughed together yet. I just feel like they make out a lot. Yeah. It's just great and that's fun and I get it. But I wanted to see a little more depth and so maybe we just haven't been shown it. Yeah. I think probably. I mean, you get to see at the end of the episode

how there are so many fantastic scenes that get cut out. So many scenes that do tell us more about their personality that we don't get to see. And I think that's unfortunate. If there's one thing I would change about the format of the show is I just want it to be less like, like, let's talk about where we're at.

Let's talk about my feelings for you. And I just want to see what's made those feelings come about because it seems like that. It seems like the rapping scene. You're exactly right. Here's a part that blows my mind about this date, Ash. The bread? The bread.

I know. Why would you just put a little piece of butter on a big bread? Why do even do it at all? Do not tell me that is the formal proper way to do things because I find that like disturbing. Are you kidding me? you're going to, like, basically you have to keep the butter right there next to you. The butter tray is got to be right by you if you're doing that.

And then you're like kind of in a way double dipping, which is totally anti-manors. I, who came up with this idea and who sets the standard? Because I can tell you one thing. If I'm out to dinner with a stranger and every time they take a bite, they're also taking that knife and they're even getting it within a centimeter of where their saliva has just leaked off with a piece of bread. I'm not in. I'm done. Oh, I would be so gross out of somebody did that on a first day. or like even like the first couple dates oh my god i'm like you're going to keep doing that i am

distracted by you keep by you keep going for the butter no i mean and secondly and this is i'm this is one i have a strong feeling for on a first day right i mean i grew up in a small town in indiana i'm here right now um and it's a great town great people etiquette is not something that we practice very often we try really hard to have manners and be polite and kind and say you're please and Thank you, but if I'm ever out on a first date and I have a piece of bread in front of me and I'm putting that bread in my mouth and I, and somebody looks at me and goes, that's bad manners or that's not the right etiquette, I'm going to be so fast out the door that you won't even see me. I don't want anybody being that uptight. No, that's true. I mean, you know, napkin on your lap, sure, if you're in a nice enough restaurant and that's like a natural movement. There were some kind of things that I was just like, okay, this is too much.

And some things are, I'm like, duh. Her family's acceptable. Accepting of the idea. They support this relationship. I think that we're seeing Ashley, year over year, now I've been in it, how hard it is, hometown dates. Hometown's dates made me so sick. I was sick to my stomach every house before I went in, like sick, sick to my stomach.

And I think Colton was the same way because, you're sitting down with a father and at some point you actually do i mean i knew with loren like this is going to be something like i i want to be able to tell her father she's it i can't um because there's still some time left but i want to be able to tell the father this and it's so nerve-wracking it's so hard because you're so stressed out and hometown dates are not easy we watch it on tv and for the first time i think it's one of the only weeks in the show hometown dates are a lot more dramatic in person than they are when you watch it back.

Ben, you just brought up two things that I wanted to talk about. I used to look forward to hometown dates the first couple of years that I watched The Bachelor. I thought they were really interesting to see where they came from and to see their families. And now I find them so formulaic that it's the most boring episode of the entire season to me. I'm like, okay, I know. You're concerned she's going to get hurt. I know. You're being protective.

I get it. It's like the same every single hometown. And it doesn't give me what I want. What I want is to see like the person. of them at home and if they're going to drive with the family. But like, we know you don't want to get hurt. You don't, you think it's weird to propose to somebody that you've known for six weeks. So, Ben, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Asking permission, why does it have to happen at hometowns? That seems like such a production thing when you, I think what would be really nice is if you're like, I'm interested right now in possibly marrying your daughter. Can I get your phone number so I can call you and about two weeks when I really have decided. Didn't you do something like that? Didn't you call Lauren's dad? What made you call Lauren's dad?

It's something weird happened. Did he say no? You don't have my permission? No. He didn't say no at all. He was actually terrific about it. But he just said, Ben, like I can see that there's something here. But I also don't want to treat this in any way that I wouldn't treat this in real

life. If you're serious about it, like if this actually, I don't want you to talk to me in this maybe possibly kind of talk. if you're serious about it and it actually is my daughter I want you to call me and ask me and I said I would love to and so um so I got his number and right before I did it I did call him and it you can do that it's a fair thing I'm glad I did but yeah I agree with you I don't there's something weird about the language of hey your daughter's really special to me and I really care about her but if I'm in this at the end and she's in this at the end then possibly may I'm going to fall for your daughter. It's like, what are you talking about? Dude, just call me if it's a thing and I'll tell you then. Like, it's really weird.

Why can't we do every season the way you did it? I think Lauren's dad got it right. That's perfect. He's a smart guy. He was a smart guy. All right. So moving on here, Tasia, Tasha has this joy and this bubbliness about her. And she also pulled one of the moves that I would hate the absolute most if I was dating

Tasha on this show. Colden has been traveling all across the country this week during the show. He's in houses. back to back to back and he gets out and she literally pulls out all the stops by making him have a date with one of his biggest fears which is jumping out of a plane that is one of the things it's one of the reasons actually that i'm not kidding when um when they asked a few years ago or a year ago whatever it was if i'd consider coming back my thought was i made it a whole season without after jumping out of anything i i don't want to go back like i know that's coming and

Colton had to do it twice. He had to bungee jump, which I would not do. I need to jump out of a plane, which absolutely freaks me out. Yeah, when they had that shot of the back of the plane opening and you see the ground, you're like, holy moly, in that moment, you have to be like, I'm going to lift my feet up and fall. Like, no way. I'm not doing that. Well, I was, what I'm confused about is a couple weeks ago, he and Tasia went bungee jumping.

So she was like, I'm going to do part two of this day and now we're going to jump out of a plane. is we didn't we didn't acknowledge on the bungee jumping episode that she was a fan of falling down we never said that yeah no they never said that the bungee jumping was a thing that she wanted do she actually seemed scared of it and then all the sudden she is in adrenaline junkie it is so intense ash i hate every second this i'm watching colton's face and you can see you can really see in colton's face that this like i don't want to be a good bachelor like i don't want to smile i don't want to be here i know i have to do this but I am so scared. His face looked terrified. I know. And I don't know. It's just kind of, it's,

it was, is she like having these adrenaline-filled dates because maybe she thinks it bonds them together more? Was this her little mechanism to be like, oh, the endorphins will make us fall more in love? I do like Tasia. And I do think she's good for Colton because she does bring him out of his shell a little bit. And so we have to ask then, Tasha's dad did not give permission immediately to Colton to marry his daughter, I like this move. I think, I think now, kind of like you were saying earlier, we watch scenarios like this. We're like, oh, my gosh, Tasha's dad is like, you know, the enemy here. And he's so mean and he's so, you know, tough.

But I watch and I go, I get it. Like, he just loves his daughter. He's taking this seriously. He's saying Tasha, like, come on. Like, if this is a real thing, didn't you ask? But right now, I'm not giving my permission. Yeah. This is, I guess it's the second.

This is the first time. dads have been asked since I've been engaged and you know Jared asked my dad and I would want it no other way I love that tradition but watching this back I felt it in a different way of course because like it's something that I've lived through and I would not want my dad to give permission if there's three other girls in the picture not at all no it just seems weird and it seems soft so it doesn't feel like that there's enough credibility behind the relationship yet to ask that question. So finally, we have Cassie, who's been a friend owner in our eyes, Ash, since the very beginning. We like Cassie. She's absolutely gorgeous. She's smiley. I'll

be honest, at the beginning of the season, I thought I was very interested in Cassie and intrigued because I thought that she might be one of those girls that came on for maybe just based on her family history and kind of her Instagram. And I was like, you know, maybe she's not here for the right reasons. She's definitely here for the right reasons. Her sister's dating a celebrity. Do you know who he is? I forget who... Yeah, I looked up his pictures. Good looking fella. Good looking guy.

And she's been on a reality show before. I just wanted to explain why we thought possibly wrong reasons, Sirens. Yeah, I mean, she stood out to me, at least at the beginning. Like, all right, the background kind of points to something that we've seen before, and it's not being here for the right reasons. Now, we definitely, I definitely believe she is. She's into it. She's being honest with Colton.

She's not overly explaining how much she feels. She's not lying to him. And her family, her family is the way. one that's the hardest on Colton how did you perceive this situation it was more what stands out to me is one her dad didn't give permission which i thought was totally fine what i just said um but the sister really the solo session between her and her sister made me feel interesting it made me feel like cassie was like yeah i think my sister knows i'm not feeling this enough right now i think she knows me well enough to know what I would look like if I was totally head over heels and in love

and I think she's catching me right now. What did you think? That was that was the moment for me sitting on the bed. I agree with everything you said there. So let me ask you and everybody out there listening. Just take a second and think about this. Say that is where Cassie's at. Say that she's not head over heels and love. But say she's very interested in Colton. She cares a ton about Colton. She likes him and she wants to see where this is going. Is it fair for her to stay in till the end if her feelings aren't maybe that oh my gosh this is it i'm i'm done marriage let's go well she was saying that she thought her family was going to be a deciding factor in that you know when she was out by the beach she goes i'm hoping to get more answers later and then they sit

outside the house after the family meeting and cassie's still like i got the answers that i needed and he's like and what has that made you feel and she was like it feels like i need to digest things a little bit longer and he's just like you can tell like his heart heart's just sinking in this moment. And he's like, I cannot believe this is happening. Like, you know, he's probably the girl that he wants to hear it from the most because he's so attracted to her. But I mean, I think you're seeing it.

Yeah, you're spot on. But Ben, do you think that he's so attracted and so into her because she's, she's giving him the least because he likes the chase of it all? Yeah, it's like something he can't have. And I know that's been something with Colton in the past, like in real life is, you know, he likes what he can't have a little bit. So maybe, you know, I think that there is that element to it. And I also think that if we were honest with ourselves, it's been a few weeks now that Cassie is definitely the frontrunner.

If we're just looking at from who is Colton, who does Colton want to make it work with the most? But the truth is, I'm interested in the next few weeks. If she doesn't reciprocate the feelings, say she leaves, I mean, we have a couple huge weeks in front of us. We've seen previews for a while. There's something weird that's going to happen. And if she doesn't reciprocate the feelings, does Colton even stay around? I mean, at this point, is he just trying to make it work with Cassie and just kind of going through the other relationships to do it? Or is he continuing to keep his mind open just in case Cassie isn't into him.

I don't know. Here's where the show to me, I don't know what the right thing to do here is. If I was Colton or Cassie, I would assume Cassie needs to stick it out. She needs to figure out if she's into him or not. And when she's not, she needs to leave on her own accord. if I'm Colton and I'm only interested in Cassie and I haven't kept my mind open to the other women then if Cassie leaves, do you do?

Do you just end the show? Is that what happens? I feel like right now she's a frontrunner, but she's not a frontrunner enough for me to think that Colton isn't genuinely interested and he's just going through the motions with the other girls. Okay. But I do think Cassie's getting to a point

where it's almost wrong to be staying around and it's weird because last week when she was defending herself against the allegations that Kirpa and Tasha were three. growing she was like i am here for you i am into you blah blah and then all of a sudden this week it's like i'm not sure where i'm at yeah she's i don't i don't see this be she's not like sold on colton at all no and she should have been way more honest last week she was like i'm looking forward to seeing where this is going but then this week i felt like she was more of like

okay i i i really should probably make a decision soon i don't know i really i don't think she's being completely honest with herself right now but i do i would probably say I'd give her a little bit longer to figure it out, would you? I definitely would. Would you want, if a girl on your season came to you this week going into fantasy week, would you wanted her to say, I'm not in love with you yet, I'm still trying to get there, or would you be like, okay, that's a red flag that I need to let her go now? You know, Ashley, that's such a good question.

I think if I'm sitting there and the one that I'm most interested in, or if the front runner in my eyes. The one that I could see a future with is, and I'm sitting there, pour my heart out to her, knowing I'm almost towards the end. I'm so close. And then I found somebody that I want to have a life with, and she's looking back at me going, I just don't know if I'm there. Not only does it shake your confidence a lot, right? I mean, you have to have confidence in this situation as the Bachelor or Bachelorette because there's so many things swirling around you at once and you're, you know, you're dating so many people. So it would definitely hurt your confidence. It'd make you question everything, but all I would ask from her, and I don't know if I'd be prepared

for it, would be to be as honest as possible with me so that I don't set myself up for embarrassment and failure. The worst thing that could happen in this moment, the worst thing as the bachelor bachelor, is if you think this person loves you, you think you, you know you love them, you know yourself, and you get down one knee and they say, I'm sorry, I can't. Is that the worst thing? Or is it worse to end up being with somebody who does say yes, or your proposal, but didn't really mean it. Oh. I don't wish that upon anybody.

Yeah, that might be worse. I think that's worse, actually. Yeah, that's the worst thing. The second worst will be getting down on one knee and being embarrassed. But I would hope that if somebody didn't mean it, they would have left before that day. Yeah. But I think my big takeaway from Cassie's date, hometown date, was that I think he likes the chase. And I think there's a part of him that is scared deep down to be completely.

in mutual love with somebody and I only say this because it was something that I think I was very scared of until the bachelor process kind of knocked it out of me and I always said that like I think I'll always end up if like if a guy ever ended up liking me

and then I liked him and then he ended up liking me and we were like got to the point where we could be in a real relationship I would push him away and I'd be like I don't like him anymore gross I don't like him and I said the one time that I go, I know that I will find my husband. I know my husband will be the one guy that I don't push away when it becomes mutual. And that's what happened. And look at Jared

now. Look at that, right? It's going to be an interesting last couple of weeks. We've got a lot ahead of us coming up on on this show and up on Colton's season. Also, we got to start talking who's going to be next Bachelorette. I think we wait to next week to do that right now. My front runners for Colton or Hannah Jeeb because I don't think Cassie makes it to the end then Cassie then Tasha. Ashley, what do you think? I think that I saw some stuff at Women Tell All last week like The Fence Jump, which makes me tell you, confirm to you. This is the most dramatic season you have ever seen of my 10 years of watching this show. I was so entertained. You guys, you are in for something.

No matter whether you think you've been spoiled or whether you think the fence jump is not going to live up to the expectations because it has just been previewed over and over again this season, I swear to you, you're going to be satisfied and more after the fence jump happens next week. So it's a real thing. It's a real thing. Oh, yeah.

Are you serious? Yeah. And I got permission to tease that. So I don't even feel guilty telling you guys. So like, does this, I mean, Ashley, you've got everybody on the edge of their seats right now in the next two episodes you were at Women's Hell All

So we didn't see the whole shebang Usually they show us a lot more than they showed us But the part that they showed of the fence jump It makes you be like Whoa This is the most dramatic season matter And be honest here This is the last question

I don't want to dig too deep Is it a facade? Is it fake Or is this a real like a real emotional reaction from Colton to jump a fence it's such a it's like a frenzy like came over him and he didn't know what to do and he just needed to escape and like that was what he did like it's truly an escape and and I saw it with the whole room of press and everybody was just floored but also it had me being like I don't know how I'm going to not talk about this for the next days like next 10 days because there was like a frenzy coming over me being like

like oh my god i must dissect this i must talk i must talk but i keep saying to my friends and my family i'm like it's it's worth the the moment which you're going to see it so i don't want to tell you like i don't want to tell you because i want you to see it the way i saw it golly gee we've got a couple big weeks ahead of us yeah uh we also have a huge episode ahead of us um the one the only jessica clark is coming up next but before we do ashley Tell us about your favorite bra. Oh, my gosh. You guys, I've gotten so close.

I know. It's so weird. I don't even feel uncomfortable. That's like my sister. It's weird. I don't know. Come on. Go ahead.

My sister, actually, has always talked about how my bra rides up in the back. Like, it's supposed to be like a flat line. But for me, it's always like a rainbow at the top of it. And she's like, you're not, it's not the right size. Well, I discovered that I actually wasn't because I'm a half size, according to Third Love. Third Love is an amazing bra company. Third Love uses data points generated by millions of women who have taken their FitFinder quiz to design bras with breast size and shape in mind for a perfect fit and premium feel.

Third Love has more than 70 sizes, including their signature half cup sizes. So I discovered by taking their FitFinder quiz that I am a half cup size. and if you're like a very small size or you're a really big size and you feel like you can't find the perfect fitting bra in the department store or at a other bra store 70 sizes i think you'll find one i think you will find one at third love all you got to do is answer a few simple questions to find your perfect fit in 60 seconds you just take the quiz you order and you try it on at home and there will be no more awkward fitting room experiences whenever i go buy a bra at the mall i'm like what do you mean you're going to fit me for a bra that seems like really personal so you can skip that step and just go to third loves fit finder quiz you'll have 60 days to wear it wash it and put it to the test and if you don't love it you can return it and third love will wash and donate the bra to a woman in need that is absolutely amazing i love that fit stylists are also available every day via text chat or phone and returns and exchanges are free and easy i personally love the classic nude street

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most part yeah all right well if you want to add to that health you should probably have just try ritual. I mean, ritual is kind of a woman's vitamin. So that's why I'm suggesting it for her and not for you. So no matter how many times we try to eat all the kale salads and drink all the green smoothies that we can, sometimes we are still not getting all those essential nutrients that we need on a daily basis. So that's where ritual comes in. There are the obsessively researched vitamin for women. Ritual essentials have the nutrients that most of us don't get enough of from our food because a lot of times we don't get them in their clean absorbable forms but ritual has no shady additives or ingredients that can do more harm for your body than good you're going to take

two easy-to-take capsules they're not those horse pills they don't smell they don't upset your stomach and they're going to provide you with nine nutrients that you need to support a strong foundation for your health from d3 to omega-3 rituals essential for women helps fill the gaps in a woman's diet and it's a subscription and it's easy to start and you can hit snooze on the subscription any time. It's only a dollar a day and it's going to give you all the essential nutrients your body needs and it's delivered every month. No strings attached. I'm trying to get the healthiest I possibly can for my wedding day. I think we all know this by now. I want to look. I want to look good and that means I want to have glowing skin and I know that these nutrients are going to help

me get that. And just in case I'm on the road and I don't want to bring a big pale vitamin bottle, I don't need that because of ritual, you just throw it in your purse. It comes in like travel snack sizes, basically. Better health doesn't happen overnight. Help fill the gaps in your diet with essential for women. It's a small step that's going to support a healthy foundation for your body. So visit ritual.com slash famous to get your ritual started today. That is ritual.com slash famous. done talking about hometown dates and now we're going to start talking about my favorite hometown date the one the only jessica clark is on a line hey hey it is so good to hear your voice i have been

asked so much in the past week if i've met ben's new girl and i'm like no but i'm going to meet her on the podcast next week if this counts i think it counts because i'm going to ask you some real questions, some questions that I would probably ask you if I was sitting across from you at dinner anyway. Ben, have your permission to do so? You can grill this girl. Okay. Oh, gosh. Well, my first question is for both of you. Ben, you found her on Instagram. You slid into her DMs. I think you've talked about that on the podcast already. My question is, how did you come across her Instagram? Because she's not an influencer. She doesn't have a crazy amount of followers. I did. This is the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Somebody told me this week

that 80 weeks ago, Wells Adams liked one of your pictures Jess, and people want to know whether there's any connection there as to you coming across her profile. Or is that just a Nashville connection?

I thought it was an Ole Miss connection. An old old Miss connection because you went to Old Miss? Yeah. Yeah, we went to think cool. Ben, do you like have a grudge against Wells right now for this Do they think he was trying to hit on her? No, there's so much to the story.

So much here, right? And I just got a text last night, actually, Ashley. Chris Dranberg knows Jessica. But here's a deal. Jessica has never, ever dated, nor has she kissed any other bachelor people. But here's the backstory to all this. So Jess went to Ole Miss with Wells. Go Eli Manning.

And Eli Manning. Yeah, good for you. Yep. and so when I first started talking to Jess I texted Wells because I saw that we both followed her and I said what do you know about this Jessica Clark girl and he goes I know she's beautiful and if you're talking to her you're a lucky guy

and so I don't think Jess tell me if I'm wrong but there's no like really backstory to you in Wells's relationship right no no you guys went to Ole Miss like a decade apart though so how'd that come across how that come about I mean, I guess it was just one of those things. I honestly couldn't tell you.

I mean, he was keeping up with the cute girls at Ole Miss. All right, all right. So then, Ben, how did you come across her Instagram? Yeah, so it's wild. It's so funny. Here's a true story. I've kind of held back on it for a little bit. But I was in Nashville for Fundraiser for Humanian Hope United.

And we were doing this massive fundraiser. and it was in August of 2018 and I was staying at a hotel downtown right by the Predator Stadium. And so what happened was I was checking in and there's a whole sports team checking in as well. And they were and I knew they're like professional. But I didn't know who they were. None of them had like any type of like logos on or anything. And so I went up to my room and I got on Instagram and I looked up the top post because I figured whoever was staying there had posted that they were in Nashville or posted like they're nearby.

Well, so when I got on the top post section of my location, which was the hotel, Jessica's picture popped up because she was at the National Predators game with her dad. And I was just scrolling through and I saw this picture. I was like, holy cow, this girl is gorgeous. So I clicked on her profile. And then I was like, but what am I going to do with this? Like, I'm not just going to message her out of nowhere. This is creepy and this is weird, but this girl's gorgeous.

And so in the most normal way possible, I screenshot it. her profile without knowing her and I kind of forgot about it and then six months later uh or actually no not a little bit under so I was in uh I was at home for Thanksgiving I was cleaning out my phone and I got back on my phone as I was cleaning out I came across the picture again and I was like you know what I was looking up her pictures and I saw her profile and I saw the way she she would comment on stuff and I was like you know what I'm just going to do it and so I message her and I think Jess tell me if I'm wrong but I said something along the lines of don't ask too much of how I all your profile. I can explain that later, but if you're single, please message back.

That is so cute. It is all so cute the way you screenshot it and then you went back and you're like, I like her interactions. Ah, you felt so compelled. And I think it was not because her just her appearance, but like you kind of sense a goodness from her. Oh, just way. I mean, Jessica has just like just very pure heart. And so yes, when you talk to her even for the first time. This is one of the things, Ashley, that I think is so awesome. So Jess and I were just texting back and forth for, I think, three days. And I had texted her one day, like, I'm stressed out, or there was something going on. Or I asked her some question from church that, like, I was confused about. And instead of just, like, texting back something small, she voice messaged me

and kind of, like, took, I don't know, 45 seconds to explain this topic that was really kind of laid on my heart. And I was like, yes, this is the type of person that I want to, I don't. I don't want to pursue at the best of my ability that is so adorable so jess how did you jess or jessica either one all my i feel like most people just call me jess it's shorter jessica sounds formal jessica clark sounds like a movie star name thank you i've actually never gotten that before but yeah most people just call me jess okay so what did you feel what do you think when you saw ben higgins slid into your dms are you a bachelor fan did you know who he was or did you just see that blue checkmark and think, who is this?

Well, first of all, I mean, I didn't follow him or anything. And so whenever I saw it, it was like Higgins dot bin. And so I thought it might just be like a spam or something. Because, I mean, everyone has heard of his name, you know, just being on Instagram or being a girl or whatever it may be. So I thought it was just like some random spam account or something messaging me. So I didn't even check it for a while. And then I went back and checked.

it and I saw like the blue check mark and I was like this is interesting and then kind of looked and saw that it was him and I was like well I'd have no idea how he found me because like he said like I was by no means and by no means an influencer any of those things so I had no idea how he found my profile so I got a little curious and replied to his message but I was yeah at first I didn't even think it was real so you're not a bachelor fan you weren't like you You wouldn't freak out over it. You just thought it was a little weird. Did you think it was cute his approach, the way he said,

don't ask how I came across your profile? Yeah, I thought it was really cute because, like, it was just very unassuming, which is, I mean, still is one of my favorite qualities about Ben is he's just so, like, humble. And I feel like he doesn't realize how great he is. But him just being, like, don't even ask how I sound like make me, I don't know.

It was just very, his whole approach to it. I need to find exactly what the first message said because I remember being like, this is hilarious and really cute. Did you have a Bachelor, do you have Bachelor fan friends who geeked? Yes. Actually, some of my cousins listen to this podcast.

No way. So if they're listening, give them a shout out. But, yeah, I have friends that are fans, and I got invited to go watch The Bachelor tonight at one of my friends' houses. So, yeah, definitely. Fun. Jess, you have to tell everybody out there, though, be honest, because I originally was not talking to you. Who was I talking to? Oh, my little brother really helped me out with replying to Finn's messages. That's awesome. I think it's common because I talk to more and more

girls about this and tell them about how I met Jess. And I was like, yeah, but when I first messaged her. She didn't know how to respond to everything, so she kind of let her brother help her. And girls, like, oh, I'd do that, like, my best guy friend or whoever it is. Like, I would let them message for me anytime a guy's trying to, like, flirt with me. So I think that's common. That is really, really smart. But my sister always used to, like, craft my text, too. I could never send a text to a guy that I liked without having her approval. No, you've got to bounce it off of some people because, like, especially me, Ben will tell you,

I have an interesting sense of humor sometimes. It's a little done. And so I feel like I would have started to just like crack some jokes here there and they wouldn't have landed very well. So I had to have someone help me out. It's hard to have your first communication through text because you don't have tone. You know, a lot of sarcasm doesn't cross. So speaking of, when did you guys get on the phone and start talking to each other since that voice memo really made an impact on him? Right after I sent the voice memo, he called me.

Okay, yeah. Way to make an impression. She took the first lead there. Yeah, she leaves the voice memo, and I was like, I cannot go any longer without talking to her. Ashley, we've got a lot more to ask Jessica. Jessica, this is part of the podcasting world. We've got to tell everybody about article.com. Article.com is an online-only furniture company by eliminating the layers of traditional retail.

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To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart Women's Sports Production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. I don't write songs. God write songs. I take dictation. I didn't even know you've been a pastor for over 10 years. I think culture is any space that you live in that develops you. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell,

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you get your podcasts. Apple Books is the official audio book and ebook home for Reese's Book Club. Visit apple.co-forward slash Reese Apple Books to find out more. Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebeney, the podcast where silence is broken and stories are set free. I'm Ebeney, and every Tuesday I'll be sharing all new anonymous stories that would challenge your perceptions and give you new insight on the people around you. On Pretty Private, we'll explore the untold experiences of women of color who faced it all. Childhood trauma, addiction, abuse, incarceration, grief, mental health. health struggles and more, and found the shrimp to make it to the other side.

My dad was shot and killed in his house. Yes, he was a drug dealer. Yes, he was a confidential informant, but he wasn't shot on a street corner. He wasn't shot in the middle of a drug deal. He was shot in his house, unarmed. Pretty Private isn't just a podcast. It's your personal guide for turning storylines into lifelines. Every Tuesday, make sure you listen to Pretty Private from the Black Effect Podcast Network. Tune in on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor.

And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, Psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. All right, Jess, I got so many more questions. Okay. All right, well, everybody has been talking about the fact that you are so normal. Is that, like, offensive?

Or you're like, yeah, I'm normal. Isn't it great? And when I mean normal, I mean, like, you're not famous. You haven't kissed multiple bachelor contestants before. You didn't have a gigantic social media following before all this. What do you do? Well, first of all, I think that being normal is a compliment. I actually talk about this all the time.

I feel like just saying that someone is like normal is so rare nowadays that I take that as a compliment. Oh, good. But yeah, I mean, I have a full-time job. I work in architectural lighting, so I'm in the sales department. I meet with people and get their lighting packages for new construction, so go to construction sites too. It's just a very, it's a great job, live in Nashville, and, yeah, I just have a very, like, you said, normal life.

Former D-1 long-distance runner. Wow, that's awesome. Go you. Oh, that was just part of college, though, just for a little bit. Do you guys work out together? Are you like that couple? We haven't yet. So one time we had the opportunity to, I had just gotten off a plane, so I let Ben do that on his own.

Yeah, she did. But I'm worried about it, Ash, because I, you know, we've talked about it before. I pride myself on my running abilities or, you know, I'm trying to do a triathlon in the next 12 months. And I bet Jess, if we were to sprint a mile right now with what her times are, she'd beat me by over a minute. Like, you know how discouraging that is when a five foot two person just like sprints past you and just keeps going and you're trying to catch up? I don't need that in my life. I don't need it. Being that you're six four, like that I can be like, okay, that's a little embarrassing.

But also it's kind of awesome that your lady can beat you. She can tear me up. I mean, it wouldn't even be close. She would dominate me. And the thing is with Jess, is you can probably hear through this interview. She just kind of giggles and smiles. Like, I don't, she's competitive, very competitive, but she's very, like, sweet, too. So I think she'd probably run by and just giggle and laugh and smile.

And I think that would make me so angry. It probably would, actually. I think you might be me because I'd make you mad. So, you know, as much. we talked about, Jessica has this, like, crazy, crazy, like, I mean, normal life, but it's not much different, Ashley, if we break down than ours, right? I mean, yeah, now we get to do podcasts and stuff like that, but our lives have kind of gone after the show, everybody's life kind of goes back to normal, per se.

And so for me, it's just awesome to be able to meet somebody that isn't having massive expectations for where life needs to continue to go. she's just she's really content and excited about wherever life is taking us that's awesome so ben lives in denver you live in nashville are you born and raised there well i was born in atlanta but i moved to nashville and i was five so i claim nashville as home for sure okay so i mean i know we're only three months into your all's relationship and i don't want to like ask when there's like a move happening that's way too early to tell but Who's doing the most traveling?

Is it equal? Is Ben always coming to you? Are you always being sent to Denver by Ben? No, it's been pretty equal, I feel like. We've definitely done a good job of kind of going to both places and spending some time in each other's homes. And then we got to go to Honduras together also. So I would say at this point, we've done an equal travel for sure. Ben?

You know, I agree. We've been equal. definitely put in more work, I think, towards traveling just because I've been gone and my schedule gets crazy and so it's hard for me to bounce around. But we have, I mean, I've made it to Nashville, met her family, stayed with her family a few days, got to meet her dog, Penny, who's just a sweet old dog. And it's working. I do think this, and for anybody out there listening, any advice on long-distance relationships would be incredibly helpful. So email us at Ben and Ashley at heartmedia.com. but long distance hasn't been easy in the sense of hey i want to see this girl i want to hang out with this

girl i want this girl to meet my family and my friends and and we're trying to do our best at that but when a life is already busy it's really hard to find you know two or three days that then travel again even though you want to so we're trying to get better at it i'm trying to get better at it and kind of figure out how to do it well but yeah so far i think it's been very even or equal um but we definitely have had gone a month without seeing each other and i don't that's not ideal for me That's what I was going to ask is how long has too long been and how much is the goal time to see each other? Jess, how often would you want to see me?

I mean, well, we're honest every day, but realistically. He's been smiling to this entire interview. I truly have not ever seen Ben this happy. Yeah, she's great. Realistically, I feel like, after two weeks is when it really gets hard and whenever we went a month it had been we've seen each other what three weeks three weeks in a row that time right yeah and then we went a month about seeing each other so that was like the worst so we can't have that happen again okay how often do you face time sorry I'm getting into the nitty-gurdy oh well we face time every day probably yeah yeah it's I mean honestly face time's really great we uh Jessica has a really good friend and whose husband is in the military and he gets deployed for months at a time

and so we met with them for dinner one night and we're kind of asking them how they do it because he's gone and sometimes they can't talk for weeks on end and I think what we found out is that FaceTime is the saver like it is I mean it's such a benefit now to relationships that you can still see the person

you can still interact with them but you know it's still better to be around them but yeah I think we FaceTime every day and there's no reason not to yeah I don't think so either Now, I know Ben said that there was the moment where he was like, I want to, I didn't want to go after this girl. You know, I really want to pursue her, which was when you sent that voice memo. In real life, was there a moment, like a bonding moment in which you guys said, okay, this is going to be something serious?

Do you remember a conversation like that that you're willing to talk about? Ben's nodding, but I don't know if you want to keep it private, that's fine. what are you going to say uh you know jessica came out to Denver uh for the first time and what happened was ash and is we it was a night of ashkar's opening so the restaurant opening was the same night and the night before i'd been working all night trying to get set up for the restaurant to open up and i had texted her it was like a thursday and i said jess we would talk for i don't three weeks at this point four weeks it's getting it's great it's good um i feel like i know you really well but I'm just tired of just talking to you I need to get you out here and I said

how about you book a flight and fly out here tomorrow and so she did um she agreed and she flew out and then I had the restaurant opening she didn't land and get to my house till it's probably close to midnight so I was tired and I had been at the restaurant opening and I walk outside and she's standing there and we like embraced and we hugged and she came inside um we just started talking again and it was so comfortable it's so amazing and I felt like I know this knew this girl so well, and she was even more beautiful in person than she was on FaceTime or through Instagram, whatever, that was like, that was the moment for me that it just clicked that this was something special, like this was going to be something that I was excited about

for a long time. So for me, it was that first interaction in person, which obviously feels fast, but when you FaceTime and you talk on the phone for three and a half weeks straight, you really get to know the person. I was going to say, how nerve-wracking was that? for you, Jess, to, like, fly out to a different city to stay over at a guy's house that you had never met before. And you're like, okay, this is, like, that awkward moment. It's like, we kind of know each other, but, like, we've never even felt each other's skin. Like, we've never even touched. Well, it was, I mean, I wanted to see him so badly, obviously.

So when he suggested, I was, like, all in, like, all about it. And then my flight got to lit. My original flight got delayed, so I got on another flight, barely. I made it by, like, 30 minutes. But I was sitting in the airport, and I was FaceTiming one of my friends. And she was like, have you thought about, like, what if you're getting, like, catfished or something? Oh, my goodness. I was like, well, no, because I had, like, FaceTime.

He was like, if you were like, well, yeah, but what if you're, like, going to the wrong house or something? Because, like, I mean, he had a dress part opening, so he wouldn't take me up from the airport or whatever. and I was like I really haven't even thought about this and it was right before I got on the plane then I get on the plane and I land in Denver and I called in to tell him to let me know that I landed and he didn't answer because he was at his restaurant opening and it was I mean it was probably three minutes before you called me back like it wasn't very long but I was still on the airplane and I was like oh my gosh I'm stuck in Denver I don't know anybody he's not answering his phone I don't know what I'm going to do like my friend was right I was

freaking out. So then when he called me and then he called me the whole Uber ride to his house and then when I saw him, it was just like, I mean the exact same thing. It was like I'd known him for forever and I wasn't nervous at all. It was immediately very, very comfortable. Okay. So then how did your first kiss come about? Can I ask that? Yeah, you can ask that. Okay. How did that come about? As soon as you saw me Oh it was Yeah I think I walked outside and just laid it

Yeah Yeah he did How romantic I think it was Was it romantic? Yeah I mean I thought it was romantic Mostly because when I saw you I was like okay do I make a joke or do I just say hi

And then you just kissed me so I didn't have to do either of them Oh my goodness that's what happens when you date a bachelor Like he knows what he's doing he's not worried about kissing women for the first time you just made the grand move damn ben yeah just yeah you just did it just went for it and she didn't say no all right well that is the best way to make that situation not awkward you're like we do know each other doesn't matter we've never been in the same room together okay um my last question is that you were ben seemed moved by that one voice memo which seems to have come about because of something

that he heard in church. Do you share his faith? Because I know that's super important for him to find somebody who does. Yes. I mean, that was one of the first conversations he had. And I'm so thankful. I think Ben actually brought it up.

But I feel like that's just a foundation that if you share your faith or don't share your faith, whatever your beliefs may be, you have to have that fundamental. You have to agree on those fundamentals and then from there you can build a relationship. So we have those foundational beliefs

And from there, we've been able to build a relationship. It's true. I mean, I think the one thing, and Jess knows this about me, and I think most people out there are listening now, is my faith is, I mean, I believe in Christ as much as I can. And what happens with that is my life has also been full of a bunch of doubts and questions, and my mind kind of goes in a thousand directions, and it's hard for me to comprehend who God is and what he's trying to do in the specific moments.

and Jess is just consistent. She's a great listener. She's incredibly intelligent and able to talk through some of those things. And for me, that's just beyond exciting that I have somebody that not only I just like to laugh with and joke with it, you know, when I sit down, I mean, there's not a day go by that I think I don't text Jess, like, oh, I'm struggling with this. I mean, I honestly, I struggle a lot. I think she's understanding that now.

And she just every time responds with like just such patience and grace and understanding and just willing to just let me, like, pour out whatever it is on my heart. And so she definitely shares the same faith. And if anything, she pushes me to explore, like, even closer relationship with God than I have today. So, yes, 100%. I have a question for Jess, if you don't mind. It's Mark. Read on Mark.

Hi, Jess. My name is Mark. I read emails. Have you been tempted to go on Amazon Prime and watch Ben's season? No. No. I don't want to see him with a bunch of other girls. I don't blame you, but I feel like you'd be just curious to even watch the first episode, even just for laughs at how young he looks or how silly things you can make fun of him about.

I don't know. I don't know that I could resist the temptation if it was me. I haven't really thought about just watching the first one. Maybe I would watch it with him. You know what? And then I can make fun of him. Can I give you a suggestion just so you can fall deeper in love with Ben? And I don't want to like, you know, just boom the love.

word there but just go with it um you should watch the the day on kately bristow season in which he gives a sex talk to the kids in a like third grade class it is it's the moment that america i think fell in love with ben when he became the perfect ben yes and then you won't be able you won't see him kissing her or anything it's just like one scene just talk yeah just talk about ovaries and semen and everything and yeah you definitely isn't to it's great jess you're gonna love I would like to see how you present that topic to third graders. That could say a lot about you. It was so good.

It was impressive. Jess, before we let you go, because I know you got a ton of lights to sell. And I think you'll be on the podcast multiple times in the future. You know, with all this happening right now, right? I mean, just let's focus on the new relationship and everything going on in our lives. You just were down to Honduras and you got to see my life a little bit more. can you let all of our listeners out there because they're going to be massive fans of yours.

They're just going to love you so much. Like if all of this, wherever this goes, what do you hope your legacy is in this world? I just hope that people leave every interaction with me, whether it be on social media or in person or on your podcast or whatever it may be, and they just feel like it was a positive interaction. So whether that's all these people go into my Instagram page and just seeing that I live a normal life and that makes them feel better about their normal lives or if I can give an encouraging word or as for someone in their face or whatever it may be, I just hope that people leave interactions with me feeling positive.

You are seriously a perfect match for Ben Higgins. I am so excited to see where your relationship goes. and I'm so happy to see this incredibly lit face that he has the entire time he talks to you. So thank you for coming on, Jess. I had way more questions than I ever thought I would, and you've been a good sport. Well, you can get my number from Ben and you can ask me. Oh, I think I'm done for now. I look forward to the time that we actually can have a sit-down dinner.

Yes, me too. All right. We'll talk to you later. Thank you so much. Thanks, babe. Okay, thanks all. Bye. Ben, are you the cutest right now?

Are you just so happy? I'm so proud of her. She's so great. She's perfect for you. Yeah, it's wild. She's really great. And I mean, if you just saw the way that she interacts with people, like she said, I mean, it's so inspiring and encouraging to me.

Like when I did, I think I've talked about in the podcast before, but one of my worst qualities is that I dismiss people pretty quickly. Like if something happens and they maybe make me angry or I feel like they aren't living up to my expectations or they've said something or done something like I dismiss them. And that's not good. I don't like any second of that. And I'm combating that. And it's a struggle that I consistently face. And it's amazing that when Jess like interacts with people and I know they're doing things that maybe like upset her or hurt her. They have said something to like make distance between them. She just leans in and tries and goes farther. into them and doesn't dismiss them she just loves them harder and more and for me that's just such a a good example for me on on how i need to deal with people and how i want to deal with people so yeah this jessica clark girl she's something special that's the perfect compliment for you but you know i know how do you move on from this i i don't know how we move on to it but we're going to move on to it from this with one of the wildest craziest stories to ever occur in bachelor

a feud between Mike Fleiss and the Kardashians, Ashley. Jared and I were like, we're not getting into this because so many bachelor people were, you know, given their two cents on Twitter on Saturday night. And I was like, yeah, no, I'm going to sit back. Dad, you're embarrassing me is what we joked. Oh, it's insane. It's absolutely insane. So here, let's start out this conversation, Ash, by giving a little background.

We've got an email from Katie. I read this article about a possibility of Chloe Kardashian becoming the next Bachelorette. Having someone so famous would change the feel of the show, in my opinion, I could see it being really fun to watch. But, and Ashley, I'm dying to hear your thoughts. So, Ashley, before we get into what happened, okay, with the feud between Mike Fleiss and the Kardashians, what do you think? Obviously, this gets brought up because Tristan Thompson has, I guess, cheated on Chloe Kardashian with one of their best friends. friend that comes out in the news and now Mike Fleiss tweets, Chloe Kardashian can be the next Bachelorette. Do you like this idea? I mean, if this was the case, right, let's say

Chloe Kardashian or let's say Cardi B or whoever it is out there that's famous and single. I don't know if Cardi B is even single anymore. Do you like the idea of them being the bachelorette? So I understand people's point of view when they say that they want like a regular person, somebody who doesn't have all the fame and fortune to get the opportunity. Totally get it. The only reason that I like it is because we have followed Chloe's love life for the past decade. We've seen her struggles between her marriage with Lamar and now this second cheating stint by Tristan. And I think, like, Chloe has always been a rootable Kardashian. I think she's always been the one that everybody, like, even if you're not into the Kardashians, you feel for Chloe.

And I just feel like it would be cool because even though most of us have never met her, we still really, like, We feel for her and we feel like we know her. So it would almost like watching like your friend from TV go and find love. That's why I like it. But I understand why people wouldn't like it too. And I also, Chloe doesn't want to be the Bachelorette. So I'm not talking about her, you know, no, Chloe, I understand. We are using his clickbait and I'm so sorry.

Ashley is so protective right now. But I mean, here's Ashley, here's my concern. but there's ultimately an end in all of this at some point the show will end how do you if you have like a Kardashian or if you have somebody extremely popular and famous as your bachelor or bachelor how then do you move on you can't sustain that and so then does the show go back to the format it's at now I mean I feel like that's the beginning of the end once you kind of have this massive name as your frontrunner yeah it's kind of like jumping the shark which is especially especially when like the shows lose it so yeah maybe go out with a bang maybe go out with a celebrity which would be kind of cool but like probably keep it the way it's been for a while because look you've gotten 18 years of success from bringing randoms to find love so why mess with the formula I agree I mean you might as well kind of let this fade out that's my fear but Ben I think the reason this became so hot was because it was such a hot topic last week between you know

the whole, the whole Kardashian drama. But also, it happened the day after a big Bachelor episode in which people were feeling like they don't have a clear frontrunner for Bachelorette because so many of the raiding girls are 23 or 24. And I think that people aren't going to be okay with the 23 or 24 year old Bachelor. And even though the season has been so compelling, there isn't a clear frontrunner for Bachelorette. And then it was like, oh, wait, now we have an answer.

And that's why the whole Chloe thing picked up steam so fast. I well and obviously it's such a a creative idea I feel like Mike Fleiss always knows what he's doing I mean he just he knew what he was doing here he knew that this wasn't going to be a thing and it works so here everybody out there listening I'll give you a little rundown as we talked about Chloe Kardashian was rumored to be the and talks to be the next bachelorette by show creator Mike Fleiss Mike Fleiss stayed very open about this idea by tweeting about it on his Twitter saying hey I'm just here to help Chloe Kardashian find love

We're in talks with her mom, all of these things. Bachelor Nation starts to jump on board with it. I know Tanner Tolbert tweeted. I know Amanda Stanton tweeted both excited about the idea. And as this is happening, Chloe has this response on her Twitter. I'm not effing clickbait right now. Stop or you will be hearing from my lawyers. How insensitive.

Kim Kardashian then tweets, fake effing news big time. I mean, they're heated. I mean, think about all the things. said about them think about all the news that's ever spread about them and they're actually personally responding to this which makes me think actually is this really a thing like are they mad or is this all are they all in this together no they're mad because because fice does what he does and he loves cryptic tweets that make us all talk i don't think he thought he was going to get actually caught here like i don't think he thought they were going to go to the next

step in which he says, how would Kim Kardashian know? This is between Chris Jenner and, and most importantly, Chloe Kardashian. Well, it's like, Mike, what do you think? They are a close family. We all know they're a close family. And they're very, uh, together when it comes to business. So Kim then responds with a screenshot saying, are you guys in talks to the bachelorette? And then Chris goes, no, L.O.L. And then Chloe says, ew, I mean, put some respect behind my name, which I think all of us who are Kardashian fans in The Bachelor family, but oh, reading that. And then let's see.

I didn't like that. Time out, let me pause you there. I didn't like it. Don't tell me to put that being the Bachelor or a Bachelorette isn't respectful. I mean, you can make it respectful. There has been people on the show that have not carried themselves with respect and have came off the show and had less respect, respect, but we're all people. No matter if you're a Kardashian or a Kardashian West or if you're Chloe or Kim or Chris or if you're somebody that gets kicked off on night one, we are people.

And I mean, let's be honest, at the end of the day, we're all just on reality television or let's bring it down even further. We're all just living in a reality. And so let's, I don't love, just like I don't disrespect the Kardashian family or who, you know, for whatever they do. I don't love that tweet. I don't love the text either. And it's weird because I think this whole thing became even bigger than just speculation because Chris Jenner has been outspoken about being a Bachelor fan. So to me, when Mike Fleiss was saying in talks with Chris Jenner, which is obviously Chloe's

momager, I was like, oh, wait, this could actually be real because I know that he probably does have her number because she's come on the. bachelor in paradise after show like she's she's called in before and she's been on the show like she's a fan so i thought there could be some legitimacy to it i mean i hosted the bachelor in paradise after show and my bachelor after show because back when i was bachelor we had an after show yeah um with her i mean she was there so yeah this isn't a crazy idea i mean but again this whole thing gets wild it feels so big i mean it's one of those moments i don't know if it meant to turn into this or not, but it feels so big when you have, I mean, I'm looking at Kim's profile right now,

just a tweet that she did that had dot, dot, dot, Mike Fleiss has over 140,000 likes. I mean, if this isn't great for the show, I don't know one is. Mike Fleiss finishes this conversation by tweeting, one of the things we look for in choosing The Bachelor at is a great sense of humor. Might be time to look elsewhere. I sincerely offered our assistance. If a certain someone thinks he or she doesn't need our help to find true love, so be it. And that's the end of the conversation.

Ashley, do you like this story? Like, is this something that is funny for our listeners out there? Please let us know how you feel about this kind of stuff. Is it just, is it hard to watch? Is it personal to you because you like the show so much? Or is it just hilarious? Like, how do we view this? I think it was all good drama.

I think it was all fun to watch on Saturday. night but i i think from being a part of the bachelor family it was kind of sad to see to see kim and chloe belittle the franchise but if i were just a regular viewer i'd be like oh i mean all this up yeah don't act like you're not watching cardashians i'm watching you you're watching us we're all watching each other here hey ash uh thanks for talking to jess thank you for being so kind um ashley again uh for anybody out there that is looking for a great book for uh their niece, nephews, children, grandchildren, Ashley and Jared has written an amazing children's book. You need to pick up at Lucy and Clarkbook.com. It is worth it. It is fantastic. Make sure you

check it out. We also got to give thank you to open fit. Get a special extended 30 day trial membership to open fit when you text almost famous to 30, 30 today. Again, that's almost famous to 30, 30 30. And third love, go to third love.com slash famous right now to find your perfect fitting bra and get 15% off your first purchase. Ritual. Visit ritual.com backslash famous to start your ritual today. And article.com

for some really cool modern furniture. Go to article.com slash almost famous to get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. What a great podcast. Ash, love you dearly. Tell Jared I said hello. Let's get out of here. I've been Ben. I've been Ashley.

Bye. Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcasts on IHartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts Just like great shoes, great books take you places Through unforgettable love stories And into conversations with characters you'll never forget I think any good romance

It gives me this feeling of like butterflies I'm Danielle Robey and this is bookmarked by Reese's Book Club The new podcast from Hello Sunshine and IHeart Podcasts where we dive into the stories that shape us, on the page, and off. Each week, I'm joined by authors, celebs, book talk stars, and more for conversations that will make you laugh, cry, and add way too many books to your TVR pile. Listen to Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Apple Books is the official audio book and ebook home for Reese's Book Club. Visit apple.c.com forward slash Reese Apple Books to find out more. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of you, I'll take it all! I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing,

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No such thing. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom. And listen that. I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, host of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. I know how overwhelming it can feel if flying makes you anxious. In session 418 of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast, Dr. Angela Neal-Barnett and I discuss flight anxiety.

What is not a norm is to allow it to prevent you from doing the things that you want to do, the things that you were meant to do. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Yes. Betrayal Weekly is back for season two with brand new stories. The detective comes driving up fast and just like screeches right in the parking lot. I swear I'm not crazy, but I think he poisoned me. I feel trapped. My breathing changes.

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