The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - The First Bachelorette Meets the Golden Bachelorette

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

Ben and Ashley are hanging out with our Bachelor Nation OG Trista Sutter to hear everything about her appearance on The Golden Bachelorette! Find out what advice she gave Joan, where she sees the franchise headed, and which of the guys she thinks will steal Joan’s heart!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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We are gifted. She's part of our team. She's also the queen. The franchise. Trista, welcome. to the podcast. Thank you, sir. And ma'am.

Hey, Trista. Yes. You are literally on every season now. It's been awesome. I love it. It's so much fun for me. Like, for a long time, I was like, you feeling like Joan, like feeling invisible.

And then for some reason, I don't know what it was, but I reached out to somebody and I was like, dude, like, can I go back on? I love the show. I watch it all the time. I'm a success story. So can I go back on? And yeah, thankfully I asked and they listened.

That's really fun. Ben's jealous because he's gone back four times. They cut his scene. Oh, I know. Last time. Then last season, they cut you. You went. They've cut me four different times now.

Yeah. So I go back. I like go and hang out. But I had now to have no expectation. It is fun to go back, though. Yeah. The worst scene cut ever was Jojo and Tasia. They both had to quarantine, I think Jojo for a couple more days,

for an entire week during COVID, and then, and I, like, saw no one for a week in a regular hotel. Well, it was a very nice hotel room, but it wasn't like a little cottage or I think. It was a hotel room. And then her scene got cut. Dumb. Yeah. So you're doing something. right, Trista. You're not only making it back, you're making it on our screens, which is a gift

to us all, really. Thank you. There is one thing that I got cut from. I actually asked Joey to be the bachelor and they cut it. Yeah. Interesting. It was during Golden. We were there for the pickleball date and Bennett and Claire were like, hey, do you want to ask him if he'll be the bachelor? And I was like, duh. Yeah. So we're here to night to talk about your scene on the Golden Bachelorette. Trista, we talked about how excited you are to go back on the show. That was one of the original questions. Like, does this make you excited to go back? I want to start this conversation with this question. The theme of this season that Ashley and I've been talking about for Joan at least, who we love dearly, is that she might

not be ready. Like, that's kind of been the like undertone of the, like, undertone of the season is is Joan ready to move on right obviously we see in this episode that well she says that mark isn't as far along even in that experience as her so my question for you after sitting down with her and giving her advice do you think Joan is ready to move on I do I think that she is struggling because that's natural you know she spent how long were they married over 30 years? 32 years they said in this episode. Yeah, so they were married for 32 years.

That's like if someone is lucky enough to die when they're 90, that's a third of your life. You know, like that is a long time to be with someone and it was, it was really sad the way that she lost him. So I think that it takes some time, but I do feel like she, is ready. When I talk to her, she was struggling a lot with the fantasy sweet part of it. So, um, you know, her kids specifically reached out and said, we don't, we don't feel comfortable with this and I totally get it. You know, they want their kids or whatever, um, watching this and being like, you know, like you don't really want your, watch your mom making out with somebody or your dad making out with somebody.

So she is all about family, and she did not want to put them in an uncomfortable position. And so I think that was weighing pretty heavily on her. And I think when you are embarking on a relationship, right? you want at least i feel like it's like more the norm to you want you want to know how your compatibility is right physically and um you know this is a big deal her moving on from losing john and and then going into this new maybe hopefully potentially long-term relationship for the rest of her life and like i think that's just it's really heavy you know

know it's there's a lot going into it it's a very emotional thing um it's a different person so getting to know these people and it we all know it's a very short period of time it's very stressful she feels really bad about sending people home um because she has a heart you know and i think there's just a lot going on but i do i truly do feel like at her core that she's ready okay well what's she going to do about what fantasy suites now um so when we talked she was having a hard time and i told her listen fantasy suites like in the in the public eye in the press it's all about sex right everyone thinks oh you're going in the fantasy suite you're having sex that is not the case and at least in my experience in some people's experience maybe that's what they what they want to be doing in the

fantasy suites is just having sex or getting physical or getting intimate physically. But in my mind, the real value in fantasy suites is the time away from the freaking cameras. Like get the cameras away, get time where you can actually sit down and have a really good, deep conversation about your wants, your values, your desires, you know, all of that. that. And, and so I gave her that advice is that, you know, I get that you're thinking fantasy suites, it's going to look like I'm having sex with three guys or whatever if I go in the fantasy suites. And I just was hoping that she would utilize that time. And this is, so it was before hometowns and before fantasy suite. So I really wanted to put that, um, on her heart that it's really

valuable to get in a in a room without anybody else just you to make it like more like real life you know not like a television show the guys that are on top of her mind which ones do you think are the ones that are the frontrunners now i mean we are down to the top six so you know yes she likes them all but like if you had to pick top two top three right now who did she seem to light up talking about. If I had to pick top two, I would say Pascal. I think she really actually loves like his spontaneity and his like, listen, you guys, I am so far behind. I haven't, I've only watched the first episode and then like a quarter of the second episode. So I don't see what you guys of a scene, like, in terms of, like, what's happening at the house.

I think that makes it even more interesting for you to be answering this question. Okay, good. Well, I, so I know nothing besides what happened in the first episode and then when they moved into the house. So, um, Pascal actually, um, I remember her talking about him and, and really lighting up. I just feel like his botanity, his, he's like really fun and, and he's like youthful in a way. Like, he just, you know, he has this money and he doesn't. really even care. He just wants to live life and have fun, it seems like. That's to me.

And then Chalk, I love, I, I, I loved how she was talking about Chalk and how he made her feel. I feel like he made her feel safe. And I think that's really important to her, especially on, you know, the heels or not on the heels, but in taking into account that she is questioning. whether or not she's ready. I think she really wants someone to make her feel safe. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit.

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I want to go back to your conversation with Joan, because you were called in to give some wisdom at a very unique time in her experience. Obviously, this, you know, hometowns are next week. And everybody is very excited. in this episode, so to show her pictures of family and to tell them about, tell her about their families. Yeah. The one observation, and I'm going to call an observation, because I don't think it's a criticism, because I think this is unique and we're learning how the golden's going to play

out and what their love stories look like. Is that Joan has been less physical than, you know, Gary for sure? You know, the kisses are short. The kisses are short. The kisses are are not drawn out. The kisses are not, you know, of plenty. And even, so it's made it hard to figure out what guys, even during this episode, like what guys she's into and who she's not on that level. So two questions there. Why do you think you were called in this moment? And the second, from sitting with her and obviously giving the insight that her family was a little cautious of what this would look like on television, do you think that is why she's been more hesitant to be more physical than you know past seasons yes so she asked them um there were actually two

reasons she asked them and i asked them so i was like i want to be part of this i love joan and we've been you know we had been messaging each other um it at the golden wedding milsey pulled me aside or we ended up talking and he's like okay what do you think about golden bachelorette like who would you cast? And I said, Leslie and Joan. And I was like, if you don't do Joan, if you don't do Leslie, then I think she should be on Dancing with the Stars. Obviously, that's not the case. And I'm sad for her, but I definitely, Joan was on my list. I think that everyone fell in love with her. I fell in love with her. And we stayed in touch. And so I asked if if there was any way that I could be part of her experience.

And then she actually asked. And I think it's because, you know, she sees a kindred spirit in me in that I was the first bachelorette and she's the first golden bachelorette. And I truly do feel like we have very similar experiences because when I went on the show, and we've probably talked about this before, but the press was not always like super kind with me. Um, they were calling me all kinds of names like a slut and I'm going to look like a horror on television because I've got, I'm picking from 25 guys. You know, of course, the guy picking from 25 girls is going to look like, you know, macho and like cool and whatever, but the girl is going

to look, you know, trashy. And so when I went on the show, I was very conscientious about being physical with people um and now she you know she's not being called trashy she just has it in the back of her mind that she wants to be respectful of her children's wishes and just be respectable you know on television so and i think in her mind that means just trying to keep the physicality to a minimum you know um and so i i really do think that um she's she's going uh you know i don't think it's It's awful. I think it's really interesting to me that you, you are using the physical, um, the physicalness. I don't know what the word is of the people that you see on the show as a gauge as to who they're into. Right. So if they're all over somebody and they're just, you know,

making out left and right, that that means that they're, they're number one. But I feel like the people on the golden are more mature and why does it have to just be about physicality do you know what i mean i definitely don't think at any level it has to just be i do think it is a gauge it's like one of the you know there is the conversation time spent physical like it's all those things added up in the one yeah but on this show it's hard to it's hard to pinpoint any of those others because well time spent we don't always see. We don't see the whole conversation. Sometimes bad conversations look as just as intimate as good conversations. And so it's usually is, I think a big teller on this show is who are you most attracted to physically? And what does that physical intimacy look like? You're right.

Why do I have this feeling that Joan would prefer this show to end without the pressure of an engagement? Did you gauge that at all? I don't think we talked about it. I don't know I don't know really how she feels about that I think like I would think I would guess knowing Joan as much as I do I don't know her you know I I know her well but I don't know that well you know um I I would say that if you're she's similar to me me in that we both went on the show for the right reasons. And if you're going to take that leap, why not take the whole leap? I don't know. Okay. That's just my take. But there are people who get there and they're like, oh, this is fun. And I really am not into these people and maybe it's not going to last. I don't sense that with Joan. I sense like that she is there for the long Hall. So Gary and Teresa didn't freak her out. You know, we did talk about that. I wish I could

remember what we said. I asked her if that was something that worried her. And I believe what she said was, no, it doesn't at all. You know, they had their pass. I could be wrong. But I know we talked about it. I don't think it was a thing for her. I think that she knows that. both really well and she knew you know the struggles that they were dealing with and um they just couldn't work it out and i don't think that that had any bearing on her process i also would imagine that joan walking into this knowing how committed she is to her family yeah would have never said hey you know what this sounds fun for two months for me to leave and be cut off like it had to be a i think this could work for me in this moment.

And, you know, I do think being on the Golden Show does add a level of complexity. Your grandkids are watching most of the time, right? And that's got to be a wild experience for them. So you're coming in at this time right before hometowns where she's probably going to meet grandkids of these men and kids of these men. what do if like when you I don't know maybe I don't know your process but when I've called been called back to the show there's always this there's a rundown of briefing kind of of where they're at in their experience where the lead is and then it's always what would I hope to be like told in this time when I was on the show if I can remember yeah so for you like walking into that conversation with Joan what did you hope she walked away with well first I wanted to eat her fears about the fantasy suites and let her know she can do whatever she wants and who cares about what people think not in the fantasy suites with her do what she needs to do in order to

really get to know these guys and spend quality time with them. And I think that meant that she didn't do fantasy suites in like the traditional way. I think the cameras left and probably gave her some time, but I don't think that she did, like, they didn't stay overnight together in a room. So I wanted to make sure that she knew that this is her journey. Yes, there are producers who are telling her they need to do, she needs to do a certain thing, you know, certain things do a certain process, whatever, but stand up for yourself, advocate for yourself, because if this is really important, then you should make it happen. And then all, Also, a big thing for me was letting her know that on my season, one of my biggest regrets was that I didn't tell Ryan that I was falling in love with him.

And still, to this day, I regret it. He struggled so much because he was not getting validation from me to the point where I know I've talked about this before, he disappeared on the the day of the final rose ceremony like he went over to the hotel that i think russ was at like another hotel and hung out at the pool with russ the producers couldn't like his handler couldn't find him had no idea where he was they came into the makeup room um while i was getting ready and they're like we can't find ray and i'm like great amazing um this is stressing me out so anyway he was ready to leave. And it's because I didn't give him the validation that I feel like he needed. I felt like I was giving him the validation because I was being lovey with him, but he didn't know. He didn't

know how I was with Charlie or with Russ or Greg or whatever. He needed to hear it from me. And I think it is really interesting because, you know, in like juxtaposition with you, Ben, and how you were like, you know, all in and you told everybody that you love them. Just like everybody else since me. Yeah. You know, so I basically said it to nobody because I was like, first of all, I was scared because on The Bachelor, I, you know, got to the final rose ceremony and then he was like, yeah, no. And he had just told me two nights before that he was going to pick me.

So I was really worried that things would change. and my feelings would change. So I didn't want to give into it, but I wish I had. So I wanted her to know to just go all in, like whatever you need to do to get there, whether it's right in a journal, call your kids, talk to the producers, just say it out loud, whatever your process is, like do whatever you need to do to really truly hone in on who is making you happy and what you want out of this relationship. And then and then don't be afraid to open up about what you're feeling. Yeah. I wish, you know, it's, it's sad. It's not sad.

It's unfortunate that Joan won't have like the five-year perspective here because you can't when you're in it. But like I was just at a Christian conference this week and the number one question asked me was, how did you feel about the fantasy suites? And what I, like my response was I think they're vitally important. Like I think they're so important because it's the first one for your own sanity. it's the first time in three months or two and a half months or whatever the cameras aren't there so you just get a chance to like breathe and not worry about like are you picking your nose in the wrong moment like you just don't have to be in your own head totally and then it's also just a time for like that breath to be taken where you know two humans can connect without the pressures of the show and the show will make fantasy sweets look like whatever they want them to look like the innu windows will always exist right unless the storyline is that you're not going to and you make that very clear but like this is

her experience and I hope she has the peace of mind to know that the world will look at this however they want to and the show will show it however they want to but she's you know going to stay true to what you know she believes and that's awesome she's done that the whole time that's why I think she's been a great lead they're going to have a hard time place here I 100% agree and I just love that everyone again like golden bachelor is just so supportive like at least so far i don't know if there's been any drama but um they're of course going to make some kind of drama but i feel like it's just like refreshing because they're kind like they are mature and i don't know i i love her and i i love her guys

and i'm really hopeful yeah well that's uh trista thanks for coming on uh thanks for continuing to be a part of the show it makes the show better uh and if you want to hear more of Trista, make sure you continue to check out the Almost Famous Podcast OG episodes with her and Bob Guinea. Two of the best of all time. Until next time, I've been Ben. I've been Ashley. I've been Trista. Bye. Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcast on IHartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with AJ Jacobs. The question.

is what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land jeopardy truthers believe in I guess they would be conspiracy theorists that's right to give you the answers and you still blew it the puzzler listen on the iHeart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of you. I take it all! I'm Manny. I'm Noah.

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