The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - This Didn't Go Well

Episode Date: October 5, 2025

DeAnna is telling Ben all about her blind date at the Jonas Brothers concert. From what was going through her head before the date...to the awkward introduction...we're getting the whole scoop!If you were on a group date, would you break away for some one-on-one time?? You won't believe how DeAnna handled that proposition! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi there, this is Josh Clark from the Stuff You Should Know podcast. If you've been thinking, man alive, I could go for some good true crime podcast episodes, then have we got good news for you. Stuff You Should Know just released a playlist of 12 of our best true crime episodes of all time. There's a shootout in broad daylight, people using axes in really terrible ways, disappearances, legendary heists, the whole nine yards. So check out the Stuff You Should Know true crime playlist.

My Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Introducing IVF Disrupted, The Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. It grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IvyF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and on the new season of heavyweight...

And so I pointed the gun at him and said this isn't a joke. A man who robbed a bank when he was 14 years old. And a centenarian rediscovers a love lost 80 years ago. How can a 101-year-old woman fall in love again? Listen to heavyweight on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The murder of an 18-year-old girl in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved for years, until a local housewife, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people and see. small towns.

Listen to Graves County on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. And to binge the entire season ad free, subscribe to Lava for Good Plus on Apple Podcasts. IHeart Podcasts bring you the ultimate Summer of Love Tree. This is famously available. It's a very exciting day. We're going to get the rundown on the day. that happened this last weekend at the Jonas Brothers concert.

Now, in addition to this episode, please stay tuned because we talked to Cynthia, who was in the suite at the same time and had her own input on body language and how things went. Now, I'm just going to kick it off. How did things go? I have been dying to talk to you. I texted the group that night. I was on the East Coast. You're on the West Coast.

And so I think it, like, happened way later than when I went to bed. So I didn't get any good updates. I really know nothing other than what Cynthia talked to me about, which was really just like an outside perspective of the date. Are you going to share her outside perspective? I will share bits and pieces. You want to hear a little bit? I want to hear it at the end.

I want to hear bits and pieces. Yeah. I didn't want to, like, like, push you in any direction. That episode with Cynthia will be airing about the same time this airs. And so make sure you listen to both to get two different perspectives, one involved in the date, the other one watching the date. But let's just kick it off. We obviously got the chat right before the date happened.

You had a really good, I think, mindset going into this date. I personally feel like you would be a really easy first date because of the mindset that you shared and just your expectations, kind of the excitement, that was before the date. Now, the date has happened at this point. So please fill us all in. I'm just going to stop you then because I don't think that it's healthy for so much time to go by before you and I dissect. I think we need to do this a little bit quicker next time because now I've had several days to kind of stew in my mind.

How you second guess things, you think, oh, it was like this or it ended like that. So I've had some time to gather my thoughts and think about it. So there's, all right, it's interesting to me that you said, I had a good mindset. I did. I did. When you and I spoke before the date, I had a good mindset. I was super excited. I felt good.

I felt cute. I wore my stand-up only jeans. They looked great. But it was funny. As the day went on, I had a little bit of time to get back to my hotel room and get ready. And I was alone. and sometimes being alone is not a good space for me to get into because I, as shocking as it made sound, can get into my own head. I can start to twist my own thoughts eight ways sideways,

good ones, bad ones, crazy ones. It doesn't matter. I am the type of person that a lot of time leads with fear. And I'll tell you what I did, Ben, after we got done talking, I started to think in my head, what if he's just doing it for the podcast? What if he's just doing someone a solid and he's just showing up just to like make sure I have a date to talk about on the podcast? Like he's not really into me. He's not really in it to date me. And I started to take these thoughts, Ben, and I really hope that for anyone who might be listening, they can let me know that I'm not alone here. But I started to start. started to take these thoughts and I got caught up in my head, Ben. So I was really excited.

I got ready. I felt pretty. I got in the van. And then there was a bit of a ride to the concert. And you know, I tried to chat with the other girls nervously, but I couldn't help. But like, think about it. Right. Like, what's it going to look like? Is it going to be attractive? Will there be this like moment where I come out of the car and my hair is blowing in the wind and he is just falling over by, you know, love at first sight. Or is he doing this for a podcast? To be on a podcast, to say he went out with an old bachelorette for whatever reason, right? Or is he just doing one of the producers a solid? I got up in my head. Now, from a logistics point of view, what I would like to see us do moving forward is there was a transition of getting the group of

us because, again, I told you we weren't alone. There were several people there, a few other with the girls. Ashley, I was there and Kathy and Susan and Daisy, you know, it was a bunch of girls there. And God bless them. I love them. They were all cheering me on. They were like, girl, if you need to be saved, winked twice. You know what I mean? Like everybody was was, if he's not cute, we'll take you to the bathroom, whatever. Everybody was on my side. But it wasn't a traditional date where I was just alone with this man. The other piece is, as I didn't meet him right away. So when the group all got out, there was a whole lot of shuffle of getting us into the suite, getting everybody into the building and sending us through security. So I looked around

and I only saw a couple of the other guys that were part of our group. And so then I'm like, oh, I wonder if it's that one. Or what if it's not, what if it's that one? I don't find him super attractive. But the other one is super cute. What if it's him? I just got all twisted up in my head, Ben, about everything. Let's pause here. Let's pause here. I think the first no is is very common. One, you're not alone. I think when it comes to high pressure situations, we create humans typically create a racket in their own heads and that racket is speaking to an insecurity of vulnerability a past thought trauma etc and it becomes heightened when we're kind of in this survival mode like this high anxiety nervous mode which even if you weren't nervous

even if you weren't anxious, you're going to have that still inside of you because it's something different. You're just not used to it. You haven't done it in a long time. You haven't been out there in a long time and met somebody new. And so you're not alone in that. I think for listeners, most people will relate with the thoughts of everything spirals out of control right before this first date. Everything comes to mind right before this first date. It's a racket. It's not true. But that doesn't matter. It's still in your head. So it's true at the time to you.

And there are tools to eliminate those thoughts or at least place yourself in a different position. One of those for this would have been, hey, you weren't feeling good that day. I think that's a great excuse and very real excuse for you. You had a migraine that day. That set you back a bit. Also, you were going to this huge event. You were a past bachelorette that day. So of course you're going to think about that because you're surrounded

by bachelor contestants it was just the two of you you're not playing the role of the bachelorette you were just playing the role of you so i just want to be clear you're not alone doesn't make you it makes you unique but you're always unique it doesn't make you different in a bad way in my very own special way then yes very own special way all right when i meet it it was a simple like hey how are you I gave him a hug. I thank him for coming, right? I don't believe the task at hand is easy on his part.

He is stepping into a different world. He is the very normal man. He works a normal job. Stepping into this world, what we have asked him to do to date me on a podcast where I am now going to come here and I'm going to talk to you, my friend, Ben. I'm going to tell you all the details.

He's going to listen or he's not going to listen. I don't really know. But that he's putting himself out there too, right? It's a big deal. Okay. first impressions, I found him very attractive. He wasn't as tall as you told me, but like, listen, I had heels on. It's fine. I found him very attractive. He was a very good-looking man. He had really beautiful blue eyes.

And I told you that eye contact is very important for me. So I appreciated the way that he engaged with me and talked to me. He was attentive in the fact that he was asking me if he could get me something. something to drink. He was asking me if I wanted to sit down. And I just appreciate those. I mean, I say on the most basic level, the chivalry part of the male persona, right? There was a point when we were talking where he said to me, and given the situation, again, I'm stating it was not a normal first date. We were not going out where it was just the two of us. It wasn't this romantic setting. It wasn't quiet by any means. We were screaming over the Jonas brothers. In between that, I was doing photos and videos and things that I had committed to. And not to mention, the rest of my

girlfriends were all there. So given the unique situation, we're kind of chatting and he leaned over at one point. And he said to me, this isn't exactly what I thought it was going to be. And I was like, I'm so sorry, what did you, what did you expect? And he said, well, I was told I was going to get to know you. And I said, well, let's get to know each other. Those are my expectations too. And in that moment, I found that little glimmer been to be honest with him. And I pride myself on my honesty.

And what I said to him in that moment was, I apologize. I got in my head a little bit because I wasn't sure how much of you would be showing up to meet me. or how much of you was showing up to just fill the position of this night? And I said, I was really looking forward to getting to know you and seeing where this could go. And I would really like that if we could start over. It was great. We ended up having some really genuine conversations. I got to know him a bit.

I got to know about his family. Got to hear about his job. Neither one of us knew very many Jonas Brothers songs. So that was a lot of fun, too, because every time. time we were kind of like, well, I don't really know this one, but I know this one. There were a couple of moments because it was so loud, we had to speak really closely to each other, which I found a little enticing, you know, and there were a couple moments where he put his hand on my back and then I was like, then I turned myself crazy again. I was like,

oh, he listened to the podcast. He totally listened to me, tell Ben that I might not make out with him, but he can put his hand on the small of my back and a little flirting is good. I'm telling you, then I'm nuts. I'm nuts. I really enjoyed the conversation with this man. I found that he had a lot of qualities that I find attractive in someone that I would want to date. It was a very hard scenario to find it to be datable in that moment, but I left that evening thinking I would have explored a second date. If he had asked for my phone number at the end of the night, I would have given it to him, but he did not. Okay.

Now, in his defense, I don't know if I was hard to read, if the situation was hard to read, or if he just didn't like me. But I left the date and talking to him and getting to know him, and I found him physically attracted and attractive and his personality attractive, I would have entertained a second date with just the two of us so that we could have been alone and talked more and gotten to know each other more. I would have enjoyed that. But he did not ask, and I wasn't going to offer.

it up. Do you, was that a surprise to you or did you see that kind of coming? Were you reading into it as the night continued and saying, yeah, I don't know if this is going in a place for him where he would want a second date? I felt like if he was into it, he would have shot his shot. That's what I felt like. Yeah. But I cannot put my assumptions. I tend to run with the fact that like, oh, that's not how I would have treated someone. That's not what I would have done. I can't put those assumptions on to other people. I thought the conversation that we had was really, really great. We talked about cooking. He enjoys to cook. We talked about his kids. We talked about my kids. We talked about our pets. I thought the conversation was really easy and it flowed very well. I think the

scenario that we were in was not romantic. I thought by the end he might at least ask to keep in touch. So was I shocked? No, because I think given everything that I've been through Ben, it takes a lot to shock me now, you know, but I wasn't shocked. I would say that I was a little disappointed. I enjoyed the conversation. I would have liked to have seen if it could have gone to a second date or at least had a conversation. At the very least, I wanted to text him the next day and say, hey, man, I realized that wasn't normal. Thank you for showing up. Thank you for asking really great questions. Thank you for a genuine conversation. I wouldn't have minded, you know, if we kept in touch and had a second date, but he didn't try. And so for me,

the actions speak louder than the words. If he really wanted to, he would. I kind of hate that saying, but it's also really true. If he wanted to keep in touch, he would have shot his shot, he would have said, hey, I really enjoyed getting to know you. Do you mind if we talk more? I would have absolutely said yes. Hi there, this is Josh Clark from the Stuff You Should Know podcast. If you've been thinking, man alive, I could go for some good true crime podcast episodes, then have we got good news for you. Stuff You Should Know just released a playlist of 12 of our best true crime episodes of all time.

There's a shootout in broad daylight, people using axes in really terrible ways, disappearances, legendary heists, the whole nine yards. So check out the Stuff You Should Know true crime playlist. on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Power struggles, shady money, drugs, violence, and broken promises. It's a freaking war zone.

These people are animal. There's no integrity. There's no loyalty. That's all gone. In the 1980s, modeling wasn't just a dream. It was a battlefield. Book, book, book. My deals.

Let's get models in. Let's get them out. And the models themselves? They carried scars that never fully healed. Till this day, honestly, if I see a measuring tape, I freak out. The Model Wars podcast peels back the glossy cover and reveals a high-stakes game where survival meant more than beauty. Hosted by me, Vanessa Grigoriatis,

this is the untold story of an industry built on ruthless ambition. Listen to Model Wars on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now. We're getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing. Bloomberg and IHeart podcast present. IVF disrupted, the kind body story. A podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care.

Introducing Kind Body, a new generation of women's health. and fertility care. Backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like with the right people in the right hands, and then to find out again that you're just not.

Don't be fooled. By what? All the bright and shiny. Listen to IVF disrupted, the Kind Body story, starting September 19 on the, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and on the new season of heavyweight, I help a centenarian mend a broken heart. How can a 101-year-old woman fall in love again?

And I help a man atone for an armed robbery he committed at 14 years old. And so I pointed the gun at him and said, this isn't a joke. and he got down and I remember feeling kind of a surge of like okay, this is power. Plus, my old friend Gregor and his brother

tried to solve my problems through hypnotism. We could give you a whole brand new thing where you're like super charming all the time. Being more able to look to people in the eye. Not always hide behind a microphone. Listen to heavyweight on the iHeart radio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Now before the conversation started, or before the date started, you and I did have a conversation and you talked about how first dates are really great in group settings because there is very little pressure. And this seemed like a lot of fun. Yes, a concert, we could say it's an abnormal first date, but it's also a really great place to meet somebody. It is low pressure. There's good moments in between there's a relatability to the songs being played you know we go on

looking back now do you wish that you were in a different scenario for this first date do you think that would have changed things no I actually really liked it Ben I think what I took responsibility for was that he was disappointed I took responsibility for that I was not disappointed in any way I had a really great time

I loved sharing it with the other women in the suite. I loved the concert. I loved the Jonas brothers. I loved being in that situation and meeting him there because there was no pressure. There was no pressure to leave there with him. Like it was like goodbye. I would absolutely have done it again. I think where I went wrong is that I took the responsibility that he was disappointed.

He expected more out of the date. And again, I don't know what he was told by producers. I don't know what was sold to him. but I just felt responsible for his disappointment when he said to me, I was under the understanding that I was going to get to know you, I felt bad in that moment because I was open and willing.

I wanted that as well. I felt bad that he was disappointed that he wasn't getting that. Yes, I don't know him. I wasn't there at the date. My argument to that would be, it sounds like you did get to know each other a little bit. You just rattled off five different things

that you took away. from his life that you heard and saw, and he told you about. For a first date, five different facts about somebody is a big accomplishment. You knew about his family, his kids, his job. That's a great first date. So I guess I am confused from an outside perspective of what he didn't get to know about you. Do you feel like you held back? Do you feel like you showed him interest?

like where where was he missing this that's what i think it was in i think it was in the beginning of the night bin because there was a slaps when we got there i wasn't introduced to him right away so there was a slaps when we got there where no one introduced us you know so we weren't able to like see each other at first and talk and then the music was playing so it was i think for him it was missed but i would say once he shared that with me i tried to be very conscious of that and and we were able to kind of stand back in the suite we didn't sit you know in the stadium, we stood back in the suite and talked, I felt like the conversation was good. And once I was really aware of what he felt, I did. I tried to be really conscious of that and

like, okay, man, let's get to know each other then. Here I am. This is what I do. These are the things. He asked some really great questions. Some of them, I feel like, were second or third date They were a little too serious for the scenario and where we were. But maybe he was thinking, well, whatever, Ben, I shouldn't assume what he was thinking. But if I had to look at the scenario, maybe he was thinking this might be the only time I get to talk to this woman. So I'm just going to ask everything I need to in case I never see her again. But some of the questions were a little heavy for a first date, especially a first date surrounded by other people, especially a first date at a concert. He asked me some in-depth questions about my divorce and something as serious as like,

you know, looking back, is there a place where you look at it if you could do something differently to change the scenario or the outcome? I just thought in that moment, I thought, holy shit, man, this is a little heavy for our first date. Great question. And I'm absolutely open to it, but it just wasn't the time and the place. But again, I don't know what was going through his head at the time. Did he listen to the podcast before he came in? Was he like, okay, I've got to ask, check this off, these in-depth questions. I've got to put my hand on her back. I've got to be, you know, attractive. I've got to, I've got to be the man.

You know, I don't know what was going on in his head. But some of the questions I felt like would have been good for when we knew each other better and for a moment that we could get in depth like that. And I think I shared to you too, Ben, I don't know the do's and don'ts of first dates, but like, I don't want to hear about your ex-wife. I don't want to hear about the trauma you cared from that. there is always his truth her truth and the truth so like you're my friend you're listening to me so you're always going to feel sorry for me but i can tell you i was not perfect my marriage there's a time and a place for that and i don't want to do it on a first date i just don't i get that i mean i think and i think that's fair i think that's a boundary that sometimes though needs and would

be needed to be communicated up front and i'm and i'm sure i know you're very capable and probably have that. I mean, I like that he took an interest. He obviously engaged in your life and wanted to figure it out. You know, having any type of conversation in today's world is something unique and special. I think I go back to my question of something had happened to where his expectations weren't met. It sounds like you got back on track. He did get to know you. And in a lot of ways, we could say ask questions to get to know you more than probably you were wanting to give up at this point. So that for me poses the question. Why didn't he ask for my phone number? Well, let's get into it. So from an outside perspective, and we did get to talk to Cynthia, as I mentioned, before, you know,

he didn't ask for your phone number. Were the other girls, because I'm sure they're excited, they're interested, they're also focused on the Jonas Brothers concert and everything going on there. Before we get to the end of the night, during the night, I'm sure they are whispering or getting moments with you. Were they reassuring you that this looked good and felt good from an outside perspective? I don't know. I felt more so from their perspective, Ben, they were just checking on me. Are you okay? Do you need rescuing? That's what I felt like. Like the girls were like, do you need rescuing in this moment? Are you bored out of your mind? Are you okay? I was really okay when the girls would come and check on me i would say no i'm totally fine i'm totally fine i was

genuinely enjoying the conversation with this man i believe from their perspective is they just wanted to be really good wing wing women you know like if i needed saving they were ready to save me they were in the saving mindset my role tonight is to help her if she needs help not necessarily which pump you up and be like this is awesome this is great and maybe pump him up wing woman you from his side too be like she's a catch well so okay so that was also the weird situation is there were all of these people there who are my friends right there's you know people there for the podcast there's there's video there's photos there's you know we're doing all of the things because to an extent it is a show that we are producing and putting out for our listeners to be able to follow along right

this has to be like bonkers to him and way outside he works a normal job bin like he works a normal job. This has to be way outside of his comfort zone. There is that, but like, I think that I wish other people had introduced themselves to him because no one really did. So he was put in this scenario where he doesn't know anyone else. He probably recognized some of the other faces right from the show, but he didn't know anyone else, but no one really introduced themselves to him. And I guess I also, given that, looking at it right now in this very moment talking to you, been, I should have been better about that. I should have introduced him so he didn't feel so excluded. And I hope that he didn't feel that way that I don't really know. But I guess

looking back in a scenario where I felt so incredibly comfortable and surrounded by women that I adore, maybe he felt a little excluded. And now I'm literally thinking about that in this very moment, Ben, and I feel really bad about that. I mean, hey, these are dates. I mean, at the basis of all this and we'll get into kind of your future and dating and what you've learned and felt. But the basis of all of this, as we've said many times here, when you're getting into the dating world, no matter if you're, you know, doing it for a second time, if you're doing it at the beginning, dates are like the only way to find the match is to keep dating, is to keep getting out there going good dates, bad dates, make mistakes, mess up. As long as you don't sit here

today and he's like, I absolutely crushed that dude. I made him feel so small. I destroyed his confidence. I, like, absolutely attacked him with my words and my, like, the ways I, as long as you're not doing that, we're good. Like, he's, he's sitting there tonight. He's like, I'm fine. I went on a date with a beautiful woman. Like, it didn't work out for whatever reason. He's good with that. I'm sure. And he's going to be okay. I hope so. I hope so. I genuinely want to be a good person. And I hope that he walked away knowing that he got to know me truly and authentically like that's all that I can do well here's what Cynthia shared with us since Cynthia said the body language looked awesome uh I think if she wasn't married and she was into somebody of the same gender she would

date you in a second she had nothing but incredible things to say about you she said you looked hot you had great energy you did everything right was her exact words Cynthia was a big fan of you she did get to speak to your date they had mutual friends in common and she didn't necessarily know why the date didn't work out but she did bring up it at some moment he did ask you to step outside so that you could talk more was that true yes and then I said no why Okay. So this happened pretty early on when he shared with me that it was going a little different than he anticipated because he was under the understanding that he was going to get to know me. So he asked me if I would step outside. Now, the crazy person that I am, I can tell you where my mind went. Okay. I thought, A, I'm not going to go in the hallway with this person that I just met three seconds ago and be alone with him. B, no, dude, we're at the Jonas Brothers concert. Like, we're at the Jonas Brothers concert. I don't. want to go sit out in the hallway and talk. Like, I just don't. Like, can we just talk right here? And I guess it just felt uncomfortable. It wasn't even like we, it wasn't even like we eased into it.

It was just like, hey, I was expecting something else and that's not what I'm getting. Do you want to go outside and talk? It wasn't like, oh my gosh, this conversation is like really awesome. I'd love to get to know you more. And it's a little loud. And here, can we go outside? It felt very forced and not natural. And in that moment, I said no. I didn't. I didn't know him from the next person. And there was the other part of me. It was like, no, dude.

Like, we're at the Jonas Brothers concert. Like, we're at a concert. This is what we said we're going to do. Let's enjoy the concert. Let's enjoy the concert. We can have seven other dates where we go to dinner and we're alone and just the two of us and have in-depth conversations. But like right now, like, let's live our best lives at the Jonas Brothers concert and being

a sweet and have a good time. I mean, you are completely right to be able to say no to that. And I get your, what you're saying is this is a blast of a night. This is a, a lot of fun. We're at the Jonas Brothers concert with some incredible people. It sounds like to me, and again, I don't know this guy, and I'm only getting your perspective and Cynthia's perspective. It sounds like to me he is intentional, I guess, is a way to say this.

He doesn't want the, like the fluff of a date. And from all that we've spoken about, you and I, you want the intentionality, you want the depth, you want that person to get to know you, but you also at this stage in your life, want the fun. Like you want a partner to have fun with and not to always be serious with and especially on a first date. I think it's one of the easiest things about a first date is that you can just go and have a good time. Because there's really no expectation other than, I mean, at least in my world, would be, do I finally find you physically attractive or not? Yes or no is one expectation of a first date.

And do we have enough fun to try to have a second date? That then starts to increase our one-on-one time. That's, for anybody listening, don't have huge expectations for a first date. first date is do I find you attractive enough to want to see you again in my life and two do I like you enough as a human to want to see you again in my life if those two things cross the box I think hey go have a second date but the first date is like practice I think that's how I felt Ben I think that's how I felt and that's why that's why he did ask and and I appreciated him asking and I can acknowledge that that probably wasn't very easy for him in that

moment to be like, hey, I'd really just like to talk to you when I go step outside. I just didn't. How did you say no? I said no. Did you explain yourself? The fucking worst. I literally was like, yeah, no, I want to watch the concert. And then within seconds, I was like, hey, man, I'm sorry, I don't want to sound like a crazy. Like, if you want to go sit outside and talk, like, let's go sit outside and talk. I just thought, you know, we're here, we're having a great time. It's the Jonas Brothers, like, let's sing, let's dance. Let's enjoy the concert. I said, and I acknowledge that to him. I said, I'm really sorry. Like, I'd love to talk. I'd love to get to know you better. I think just exactly the way you put it in. I wanted to have fun.

I wanted to dance a little. I really liked to dance. Did you guys dance? He didn't dance. He didn't dance. I tried to wiggle a little bit, but then it just felt weird because he was just standing there. Yeah, that's fair. So yes, I, you know, in that moment, I felt really awful and when it played back in my head within seconds. I was like, ah, you sound like such a bitch. And I did. I looked at him because I said, yeah, I'm really sorry. Like, let's go outside and talk if you want to talk. Like, that's not, I didn't mean it that way. I don't want to come off sounding ungrateful. I really am. But we're also like at the Jonas Brothers. Like, it's great music. Like, let's enjoy yourselves because I do believe there is a time and a place for some of those serious conversations.

And I just don't know that on a first date, that was the place. And I wanted it to be just like what you said. I wanted it to be a lot of fun. I wanted to walk away and think, I had a lot of fun with that guy because I like to have fun. I like to laugh. I like to have a good time. Personality is so important to me. And I want to know that I can have a good time with someone. And I just, I just didn't, Ben. I didn't want to go sit in the hallway in silence in the bright lights and talk about forever. I just didn't. I just didn't. Again, I don't think you're wrong for saying no to that. It was a question. You have all rights to say yes or no. I do think the explanation probably help because if I was dating somebody and I said can we go out in the hallway and talk and

they said no I think I then would start to create the racket in my own head and create the narrative of she just doesn't want to get to know me but let me lay it out for you for a visual bin he that was said pretty early on the great conversation that we had happened after so it wasn't like I was just like yeah no bro like I'm here for Joe it wasn't like that That happened. I said no. And then we genuinely had great conversation up until the very end. And then there was a moment he was like, I'm going to run to the restroom. He walked out with his buddy. And when he came back, they were like, yeah, cool, we're going to go. This was a lot of fun. We'll see you. There were hugs. We took photos together. I have a photo. If you would like to see him, I'll send it to you.

And they were just like hugs. It was so great to meet you. You're wonderful. Goodbye. Hi there. This is Josh Clark from the Stuff You Should Know podcast. If you've been thinking, man alive, I could go for some good true crime podcast episodes. Then have we got good news for you. Stuff You Should Know just released a playlist of 12 of our best true crime episodes of all time. There's a shootout in broad daylight. People using axes in really terrible ways. Disappearances. Legendary heists. The whole nine yards. So check out the Stuff You Should Know true crime playlist. On the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Power struggles, shady money, drugs, violence, and broken promises. It's a freaking war zone. These people are animal. There's no integrity. There's no loyalty. That's all gone.

In the 1980s, modeling wasn't just a dream. It was a battlefield. Book, book, book, make deals. Let's get models in. Let's get them out. And the models themselves? They carried scars that never fully healed. Until this day, honestly, if I see a measuring tape, I freak out.

The Model Wars podcast peels back the glossy cover and reveals a high-stakes game where survival meant more than beauty. Hosted by me, Vanessa Grigoriatis, this is the untold story of an industry built on ruthless ambition. Listen to Model Wars on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now. We're getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing. Bloomberg and IHeart Podcasts present. IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. Introducing Kind Body, a new generation of women's health and fertility care.

backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like with the right people in the right hands, and then to find out again that you're just not. Don't be fooled. By what? All the bright and shiny. Listen to IVF disrupted, the Kind Body story, starting September 19 on the IHeart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and on the new season of heavyweight, I help a centenarian mend a broken heart. How can a 101-year-old woman fall in love again? And I help a man atone for an armed robbery he committed at 14 years old. And so I pointed the gun at him and said, this isn't a joke. And he got down, and I remember feeling kind of a surge of like, okay, this is power. Plus, my old friend Gregor and his brother try to solve my problems through hypnotism.

We could give you a whole brand new thing where you're like super charming all the time. Being more able to look people in the eye. Not always hide behind a microphone. Listen to Heavyweight on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know, my criticism here, and I will say it, because I think people listening will be learning from you as we continue on with this experience, but also relating with you and hearing things. If somebody's listening, I, and I'm speaking from a place of guilt, I, when in my single life, was the ultimate ghoster.

I would go on first dates and never know how to say, hey, I'm not interested. again. I never figured that one out. I could learn from somebody on how to do that well. But I do think there is a moment where we as adults date where clarity is not only appreciated, it's respected and it's necessary. So as he left that and in that manner, I think the best thing for him to do would have been to tell you, hey, this was great. I don't necessarily see us having a second date. I also think there is a world in which he was nervous about how you would respond or how this would respond. And I do think there's an added pressure. So we'll give him the benefit of the doubt. But for most situations, again, first dates have very little expectation. We should have very

little expectation. But I think the clarity of, do I want to do this again, is really beneficial to both sides. And you didn't get that. And so as we kind of close up here, the data is ending. He goes to the restroom, comes back in, says they're going to go. And that's the end for you. You're still in a little bit of limbo on how it ended and what happened. Am I correct? Yeah. He came to the concert with his best friend and his best friend's wife. She messaged me on Instagram like the next day and sent me some photos and was like, we had the best time ever. It was so great to meet you. Let's keep in touch if you're ever in the area. I write her back and I'm like, absolutely it was a lot of fun to meet you and your husband i hope had a great time i'm a little

unsure how that ended and she and she just kind of brushed it off and it's like yeah it was fine so there's been no other conversation whatsoever um i i debated trying to find him just to thank him for coming and doing that and coming on a first date but i also just didn't feel like it was my place because i'm not hard to find ben he knows my name sure He knows the podcast. He knows some of the producers. If he wanted to get in touch, he would. And maybe that's exactly what it is.

Maybe he left with clarity thinking, this was a lot of fun. What a great night out. I'm going to call it a day. She's not my vibe. Maybe I wasn't his vibe. And that's okay, right? I feel pretty good about the date and the conversation that we had. And all I can do was like, I was me.

I was me. I didn't say anything that I would take back. I didn't say anything too much. I gave what I wanted to on a first date and allowed him insight on who I was and the things that I like. I enjoyed what he shared. The conversation felt very easy. But maybe from that point on, there was nothing else there.

Because ultimately, if he would like to see me again, he would. And if he doesn't, then, let's move on. to the next. Let's move on to the next. Well, that's where we're going from here. You've obviously just had your first date on famously available. Not a bad date. I will say that this wasn't like a bad date by any means. You were, you communicated. If he wanted a second date, you would have been down to have a second date. I think that's a win here. We're not shooting our shot in the wrong direction. So you're ready to keep getting out there. You're ready to keep dating. Do you think this first experience has kind of changed you for the next first day? Is it going to be easier or

harder? Kind of talk about where your mind's at. I don't think it's changed me. I just thought about things that I would do differently. You know what I mean? I just thought about things that I would do differently. Given the next scenario, if it's another situation like that where we go to a concert or it's, you know, a sporting event or something like that, I don't want so much time to lapse before I'm introduced to someone because there was this whole weird lingering where it was to say, mind you, because there were other women there where they were like, which one do you think he is? And I'm like, please stop looking, please stop looking.

Everybody is stop. This is getting weird. Yeah, it was weird and it felt a little awkward because, like, he knew I was there and he probably knew who I was and knew what I looked like. So there was a moment where he didn't come up and introduce himself to me. Neither one of us, I'm guessing, knew what the right thing was.

I didn't know who he was. So we didn't know how to do the date. So I think that there is, some tweaking that we need to work on because it is not a traditional scenario. I am not, you're not calling me up, Ben, and saying, okay, you're going to meet Peter at 7 o'clock at the bar down the street. It's not like that. It is a unique situation that I'm going into to meet someone. So I think we need to tweak it a little bit. So I walked away with some things that I would do differently. I would like to meet the person right off the bat so that there is no awkwardness

between me or him. I also just like to get a good look at him and see if I find him attractive from the get-go. And then I think if there was anything that I could do differently in that situation when he did ask me to step aside, I maybe didn't have to leave the very front of the suite. I could have taken a seat at the back of the suite and entertained him for 15 minutes and had really great conversation because the conversation was really good. And you're right. I don't know what he was told, what he thought, but he thought he was going to get to know me. and I hate that he felt like he wasn't getting that. I want to give that because I am doing this for the right reasons, Ben.

I get that question all the time on social media. I'm so flattered. I met several women who stopped me after the concert. We're like, oh, my gosh, we're following famously available. We're listening to the podcast. You go, girl. We're all rooting for you. And I'm just so grateful for that, that people even care,

but that there are other women who are in the same. life phase as me who are walking through this with me. So I wish I would have been more open because I realize this scenario is just very different and what I am expecting from someone if they have never been on television. They have never been on radio. They just live a very normal life to expect them to come in a scenario like this where they are going on a date with a girl who has a history on television and a podcast with you. Well, we're going to talk about it, Ben, the good, the bad. Imagine if he had kissed me and I've been like, oh, his bread smelled so bad, Ben. I'm about to put this dude on blast, and he's willingly doing it.

So I want to be more conscious of that on the next date or moving forward with whomever it is or if this guy reaches out. You know what I mean? I just want to be really conscious of that, the fact that I am making a choice to put myself out there. I am making a choice to do this podcast with you, you've been. It's almost like the social experiment you and I are doing where, like, I'm the guinea pig, but really, they're the guinea pig.

We are asking these people to come, date me, like me, get to know me, and feel really good about it and not worry about the fact that you and I are going to tell all the dirty secrets on air for hundreds of thousands of people to listen to. Here's the beautiful part. They have the opportunity to come on here as well and tell all the dirty secrets of you if they want. You're supposed to be my friend, Ben. Oh, I got your back.

And I will continue to have your back through this whole experience. That's a great note if you're out there. and you're listening and you have somebody that you're like would be perfect for this scenario. You can message us, a picture, a little profile, send us their Instagram profile. We would love to get a nice roster here of potential suitors. I have gotten a whole lot more DMs. I will say that, Ben. I'm glad.

I'm going to go back on the resume and be like, oh, my gosh, let my friend Ben know. I'm not going to do it. But I have been getting some DMs on how beautiful my feet are. so maybe this is working out well for me yeah well there's a whole market for that is also um and i would love for you to take advantage of that opportunity uh never seen your feet uh but we will add it to the list of things we send out to somebody before a date is she has beautiful money worthy feet uh okay this has been awesome here's my advice for you as we move forward uh from everything i know from what you told me

everything I know from what Cynthia told me, you were great. You were yourself. And ultimately, when we're dating, you got to be yourself. And you got to say the things that you really feel and think, especially, I think, as we get into this kind of second stage of dating in life, you know, for anybody that's out there that's divorced or anybody that's out there that's looking for a second partner or a third partner, whatever that may be, being yourself, I think, is essential. Because the truth of the matter is, I do think in this stage, what I'm experiencing and what I'm hearing, and what I honestly ought to expect is there is a different intentionality. This isn't a, hey, let's just play patty cake for four dates and have a lot of fun. If somebody really is

there to potentially date you or you to date them, there is an intentionality that will be brought up. I would just say, let's pause that until like date two. Date one, let's have a good time. Let's see where this takes us. Let's have one drink, go home, and text each other the next day. Date two picks up steam a little bit. Date three, four, you know, whatever your timeline. But you did it well. I'm thankful that you did it.

I'm thankful that you went out there. But my final question for you is, are you thankful you did it? I am. I am. I had a really great time. I had a really great time. And I'm thankful that he wasn't a big old fat creeper. That's a win because they're out there.

But we promise to protect you. They're out. Okay, we'll keep in touch on the journey. Look forward to the suitors that get sent our way. The roster of just the most handsome, caring, sweet, fun men that we can start to set you up with. You're going to be exhausted by the time this is done. Just exhausted. I'm in a roster, a roster.

I've never had a roster. This is so exciting. So fun. Until next time, I've been Ben. Oh, come on. Why is this taking so long? This thing is ancient. Still using yesterday's tech, upgrade to the ThinkPad X1 Carbon,

ultra-light, ultra-powerful, and built for serious productivity with Intel core ultra-processors, blazing speed, and AI-powered performance. It keeps up with your business, not the other way around. Whoa, this thing moves. Stop hitting snooze on new tech. Win the tech search at Lenovo. Unlock AI experiences with the ThinkPad X1 Carbon, powered by Intel Core alter processors, so you can work, create, and boost productivity all on one device. Hi there, this is Josh Clark from the Stuff You Should Know podcast.

If you've been thinking, man alive, I could go for some good true crime podcast episodes, then have we got good news for you? Stuff You Should Know just released a playlist of 12 of our best true crime episodes of all time. There's a shootout in broad daylight, people using axes in really terrible ways, disappearances, legendary heists, the whole nine yards. So check out the stuff you should know true crime playlist on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Introducing IVF disrupted, the Kind Body story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care.

It grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it all. also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patience. You think you're finally, like, in the right hands. You're just not. Listen to IVF Disrupted, the Kind Body Story, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jonathan Goldstein, and on the new season of heavyweight. And so I pointed the gun at him and said this isn't a joke.

A man who robbed a bank when he was 14 years old. And a centenarian rediscovers a love. lost 80 years ago. How can a 101-year-old woman fall in love again? Listen to heavyweight on the I-Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.