The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Valentine's For One

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Cheryl Burke is alone on Valentine’s Day and spilling the “lonely” tea.She’s been open about remaining single and abstaining from sex but may be ready for motherhood.Her producer pushes her to admit if she’s finally planning on expanding beyond a party of one. Email us at: [e-mail] or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTokSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone.

Hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy Truthers believe in... I guess they would be Kenspiracy theorists. That's right.

To give you the answers and you still blitzers. The Puzzler. Listen on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Humanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness. Psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.

Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell. And the DNA holds the truth. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen.

I was just like, ah, gotcha. This technology is already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to IDo, Part 2, the pod for people who didn't get it right the first time when it came to love. find themselves picking up the pieces and putting themselves back together. I'm Cheryl Burke, one of your celebrity mentors, and I'm just like you guys. I'm divorced. I've been through the ringer.

I know how hard it is. And today I just want to kind of take over and talk about my experience and where I'm at post-divorce, Valentine's Day coming up. But we can't do this without my producer, Heather, who is also single and almost 40, but she still has a few more years. she's going to grill me. So this should be fun. Hi, Cheryl.

Welcome. Hi. Hey, girl. Welcome. Hi, thank you. So I want to talk, obviously, about your experience a little bit. So kind of like run us through the highlights. I know you had the big wedding, but like talk about how long were you married for and how long

has it been since your divorce? Okay. Well, I was married. First of all, so this was a relationship. that, you know, we started dating when I first moved to L.A., but I'm not going to talk too much about him, but I'll definitely talk more about just my experience. And I, I love comfort in any way, shape, and form. So, like, I just, it was really, it's always been weird for me to, like, date and just to meet people, especially in the business that I am, but even before this business,

it wasn't that. It was just that I'm naturally introverted, right? So when I, I feel comfortable around somebody, you know, the, and if, let's say, we break up, which I did with my ex at that time after dating for the, like, for a year back in 2006 or seven. And then we reunited. And it just felt comfortable, you know, and it was just like, okay, we don't have to do the whole, like, it's a small talk that just gets me. Anyway, then, uh, yes, then we get married and we were married for, we started dating again for another year, I believe, a year and a half before we got married. or engaged. And then we got married very soon later. Can I jump in and ask you this? Whose idea was it to get married? Totally mine. I'll take full accountability. Yeah, I don't think he was

I mean, look, there was conversations, but every time it was me starting the conversation, right? Because I also was like older. So it was 10 years of that gap between when we first dated and then started again. But it was kind of like, okay, but when you're older, you know, you're kind of thinking like, well, if this person's not serious, then like, why waste time, right? And I'm like, what is time? Now I'm a different woman. And I'm like, it's just so interesting how we put so much pressure, especially women, because we think that there's this schedule that we need to follow as far as getting married and having kids. It's like, it's the conventional way, right? It's what society expects from you. But it doesn't have to be in any

order or at any time. Amen. Or it doesn't ever have to happen, period. Did you ever consider not getting married and just being in a long-term partnership? Not then. Not back then. No, that was my goal. The goal was to get married. Like, it was literally to get married. I wasn't even thinking kids. I was just to get married. It was just to get married. And so where did you feel like that came from? Was that about the environment you were raised in? Or was it about all of your friends were getting married? like pressure being in the public eye and not being married yet like where or was it just you just wanted that you just grew up wanting to get married where do you think it came from it came from like all those movies like you know those rom-coms but also honestly if you really want to get deep

here and in a quick soundbite but it was for my feeling at that time I definitely didn't love myself. I didn't even start that work, nor was I interested. Even though I was in therapy and I have been forever, you know, there's certain things that, you know, my therapist now brings to my attention that I'll just change the subject if it's something that I don't want to talk about. And that was one of them, you know, and it was so much about what the person outside sources, what can fill my cup up. And one of that, and one of my goals was to see if I can get married. And I'm not, It has nothing to do with the person I married. It has everything to do with how no matter what I did, it doesn't matter.

Like you can't fill. No one is going to fill your cup up. Shopping's not going to fill your cup up. You are. You need to do the internal work. And that did not make any sense to me until recently. Yeah. I mean, that makes a lot of sense, though.

I want to know now post-divorce, what has kind of, or right after the divorce, let's say, let's go back to that right after the divorce what was the focus was it to get into therapy was it to build i was already in therapy okay was it was it to build a new circle of friends was it to focus more on yourself was it to start a new life or what was kind of like that when you first got divorced what was the focus right then and there i didn't have any type of goal like to be quite like just transparent with you, it was really about surviving day after day. And it was one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. And I'm very goal oriented, right? But it naturally, honestly, it naturally became about me ghosting everybody around me and doing the work myself. Because

what I realized naturally, and I don't think I was able to put it into words at that time, but I can't be vulnerable with other people sometimes like that vulnerable like when it comes to like really feeling grief um i even have trouble doing that but when i'm by myself you know so it's like because it's so painful that like i am a professional uh disassociator and i definitely numb and though it's not through alcohol anymore there's so many other things i can do right so the list goes on and i am in order for me to really make progress and to really feel okay in own skin and to feel alone, not lonely. Like, I sound like a broken record, but like it's, it really does start within. And first, my first priority, to be quite honest, was staying sober.

So that was definitely something that I was aware of at that time. Yeah. That's an important thing that you channeled a lot of energy into. And I do want to commend you for being so open about that because I do think that that's a huge step for anybody in life choosing to be sober. And you choosing to share that on a large platform, I think is really incredible. I want to talk about the fact that you are a childless woman. My Frenche counts, though. Of course. Or babies always count.

But I want to talk about this because I think it's something that sometimes gets overlooked when it comes to divorce. I think a lot of people focus on divorce single parent aspect and what that kind of entails. But, you know, just because you don't have children doesn't make this experience that you went through any less painful or meaningful. But I kind of want to know from your perspective and what you've gone through, did it feel different because you didn't have children and you didn't have somebody? I mean, you had a fur baby to take care of, right? But you didn't have a human being to take care of. You didn't have somebody to put on a brave face for sometimes we hear a lot about single parents having to do that.

I guess I don't know because I've never had kids, right? Like, I don't know what that is. Did you feel supported, I guess? I want to know, I think a lot of times we hear about stories of people being rallied around because they need that extra support. And sometimes us single girls that don't have kids, I feel like we're. viewed as you got this you're strong what was your perspective like did you have that i don't i have never that's never crossed my mind and i never felt that but i like you know i mentioned earlier

if i needed the support absolutely and i did and i and though she is on someone i pay my therapist for me because i am so sensitive to bias right like i don't want um at that time in my life i needed just to hear the truth, right? And I really needed just to hear it. And not because of any type of politics being played. And for me, that person was my therapist. I really leaned on her a lot. And, you know, I've been with her for 15 years. And I have to say, the reason I have been with her, because I'm sensitive, as I said to bias, I is because she's not biased, like, by any means. And I have to say that she definitely, you know, it was difficult, it was hard. It was hard truths. Because like she also is very much all about taking accountability, and that is a thing that, you know, and sometimes that's the last

thing you want to do, right, when you have all this anger and rage. But it, um, I leaned on her a lot. And I also lean, and then with that, you know, it was my choice to leave Los Angeles and move. And I don't believe a lot of people would choose that after a divorce, not just with, um, their partner, but also leaving a job that they've done for 17 years of their life and the same year choose to move, right? So those are three huge changes that I think it's my addict brain that's like, okay, I have to, if I'm going to just change my whole life, then I'm changing my whole life. That house I was in for 16 years just reminded me of everything, right? So it was like, it was very important for me to do this. And I don't know. If I were to like, if I'm like thinking,

about those decisions now and I'm like, whoa, that was bold. That was like three life changes. Like they say if you go up to five in one year, you need to like go to the nearest mental and it will make you mental, right? Like, because it's just so much change. But then also with that, you know, my friends have changed, right? Too. And naturally. But like I've never felt so grounded and so, um, look, there's fucking days where I don't feel like this. Okay. I'm not trying to say like, I have served like you know no there's shitty days absolutely but I've never felt lonely I just well I love to hear that let me ask you something super personal you can be like sure I want to answer that or no I don't okay what are your views on children is that something that you think

about something that you want in your lifetime still don't know like kind of where you are I actually talked about it with my therapist recently and um she's like the way you treat your dog. Are you sure you want to have kids? Because my dog is a spoiled brat, like literally spoiled 24-hour care over here because she needs it. But, or I think she needs it. But, you know, I believe, and I've just, okay, I believe, okay, of course it's great to raise a kid with two people, right? Like, obviously. Because I come from a divorce family and because I know how much it affected me and other stories I've heard, even if I was so young, it doesn't matter. It still is ingrained in my freaking identity, right?

I, and this is not going to be popular. I believe that it's okay to raise kids on your own. Like, and actually to start it off like that would probably be healthier than having to rely on another partner, not knowing what mood that person's going to wake up in and not knowing what this kid is going to observe and at least you have control for the most part over yourself and your kid. I will say, Cheryl, you say that that's unpopular. I think that's becoming more popular as time goes on. I mean, I could draw a conclusion right now to like Lala on Vanderpump rules. After having one child in that relationship decided I still want to be a mom that is still

really important to me. And she opted to have a sperm donor and had that second child and is raising it on her own because she does not want to go through kind of the conflict that she went through with her child's father. How has people, like, has it been celebrated at all? Or? Totally celebrated. She had a baby shower. She has been, you know, embraced by her family. Yeah. So, I mean, that was a journey that she went on on her own. And I think, you know, I know in my professional life, I have worked with women that, you know, were in their 50s and decided to adopt on their own and become mothers later in life. And one of them I actually know ended up then meeting a spouse later on after bringing,

you know, adopting a child on her own. I know like Hoda on the Today Show, she's done it on her own as well. So I think it's, it is becoming, I think, a more popular and mainstream decision for women because they feel similar to what you're expressing, you know, like they don't want the risk, you know, they've maybe gone through something. I mean, I'm a product of divorce too. So when you talk about that, I totally understand those feelings and how that sticks with you. And I do think that, you know, yes, ideally it's, it's, I think it's less about that a child necessarily needs two parents as it's more, it's a tough job. So if you have somebody to share the workload with, That, I think, does sound great, but I think that you and I both know that there's a lot of single parents out there in the world that are kicking ass right now and doing, you know, for sure.

Yeah. And also, look, I didn't freeze. I've chosen not to freeze my eggs and I don't plan on never doing that. So I don't think it'll be possible soon or if it's not possible now, it's not possible. It doesn't matter. Either way, that's not happening. So what my therapist and I were talking about was like, okay, she does have a friend that she was able to, you know, get a donor. and then, like, have a surrogate and do that whole thing.

And at first I was like, okay, adopt. But then I'm like, oh, wait, I didn't even realize that that was an option. So, but I'm not clearly, I'm not that like, okay, tomorrow we're doing this. I'm not ready yet. And this is the beauty of also in a way where we are today in this world as far as, you know, technology. And it's scary, but also very helpful for women who feel like they haven't finished what they're trying to do, whatever that is. And I don't feel like I have started my second chapter

yet in my career yet. So like I don't want to, I don't think it would be responsible for me to bring in a kid right now. If I don't feel, I mean, I guess I'm never going to be ready. No one is. And I guess I'm never going to feel settled because like how boring is that. But I, I know that there's more that I need to do as an individual before sharing my life with somebody. And Cheryl, I know I'm not your mom, but I can also say this to you. You are allowed to change your mind at any time. Yeah. I feel about any of this, too.

But not when you have the kid. Not once you have the kid, but the children, for sure. And so I think that's important, right? Because I think sometimes people are put a lot of pressure on themselves to make a decision and stick to that answer. You know, we are allowed to change our minds about things. You could want to get married again someday. You could not want to have children again someday.

And life changes. How about just the dating? Like, I'm not dating. And I'm choosing not to date. Like, forget the marriage. How about just meeting somebody? I'm like, I am perfectly content in this home with these four walls. I never have to leave.

My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly. and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam, maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy?

That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating. insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called

Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, We're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom's the podcast for you. Open your free I-HeartRadio app.

Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. Evil spells to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no. We're not doing that this season.

Oh, well, this season we're leveling up. Each episode will feature a special bestie, and you're not going to want to miss it. Get in here! Today we have a very special guest with us. Our new super secret bestie is The diva of the people. The diva of the people. I'm just like text your ex. My theory is that if you need to figure out that the stove is hot, go and touch it.

Go and figure it out for yourself. Okay. That's us. We're in the head. That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and, of course, our favorite secrets.

Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. But it happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc and I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the hosts of Trust Me, a podcast about cults. manipulation and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me, new episodes

every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Let's talk about it, Cheryl, because I do want to talk about what's going on with the not dating. I knew this was a note from Amy Sugarman, wasn't it? No, it wasn't. Yeah, right. It wasn't. Yeah, right. All y'all think it's so weird.

Like, well, what is happening? It's not weird. Hello, I'm not dating either, Cheryl. I bet you you leave your house more than I do, though. Probably not, Cheryl. But I want to know, when was your last date? Amy Sugarman, that dude, that's Kelly's dating. Yeah, Mr. Tennis.

Wait, is she still dating him? I forgot what you said. I don't know. I haven't gotten an update. But I want to know, when was that date. So your last date was when? I don't know. I mean, I can check my calendar.

Hold on. Are we talking over 365 days? Like over. For sure. It was when I was just moving. Okay. Zero interest. Don't even try.

But no, but tell me where, where, like I want to know as a single, you're gorgeous, you're talented. You have, like you just said, you're so busy right now. It's like so hard to even lock you down. No. but I'm not like I'm not I just I want to know like when Cheryl goes out to the bank or to run errands do you turn your head to me they come to me look at attractive men are we not even looking at men are we blinders on no hell yeah like I'm following some hot dudes on and mind you like errands come

to me like this is the invention this is what I mean technology like Instacart like you know bank like you can do I don't remember the last time I set foot in a bank. Anyway, yeah, no, of course. I still think guys are hot. That doesn't mean, though, that they deserve me. Of course. Wait, are guys sliding into your DMs ever? Old creepy ones. But, like, think about it. I'm not one to post, like, my tits are not out. Like, I don't do that, right? Like, you're still stunning and you're still active on social media. Well, yeah, I mean, no. But to answer your, I mean, I don't. know i don't check like the other you know there's messages there's so many sections of messages

the others no that's not what i meant but like you know i know what you mean the other messages the non the non blue check messages that come through i got you i'm also not giving off that vibe i truly believe that like my energy is not like dm me sure but listen like i said i think you're glowing you're gorgeous i know i am i am in the best shape in the world right now more than when I was on Dancing with the Stars. And you have great content that you're putting out about loving yourself. It's not like it's not crossing any men's hats. That's intimidating for men.

You know what? I don't know. I've never been attracted to beta men. So I've never been like into a guy that like was ever intimidated by me anyways. That's just never how I'm interesting. I don't ever tend to like. So are you attracted to the opposite then? I'm attracted to strong, uh, quiet.

confidence. So I'm not attracted to alpha males that are super loud and boisterous about it. I'm attracted to more of a quiet confidence that doesn't need to put that out to the world. That's great, considering you came from a divorce family. Yeah. I mean, I also, Cheryl, this is not my therapy session. What is so true, though. I mean, come on. People can learn from you too, girl. We are normal people. I'm normal. We are normal humans. I do part two phase, Cheryl. I'm still in my... I'm not. In your mid-30s, you just got out of a very long relationship. You just moved as well. Like, this is a very similar path. Similar, but haven't had the marital relationships and haven't... But you would have. Don't lie. I would have, for sure. I would have had

had my relationship progressed, but it did not. Correct. Until you bounced. Good girl. Yes. But I... I want to go back to you because we touched on this a minute ago about the not dating, but I want to go back on celibacy. So you have been very open on the podcast about your decision to be celibate. And so I want to know, though, where did that come from? Was that a decision that you made on your own? Were you inspired by somebody else that was talking about celibacy?

Was that something that came hand in hand with your sobriety? Like, kind of speaking about where the celibacy came. from. I mean, all of the above, but really what I started laughing because it's like, well, if I'm not dating, right, and I'm not necessarily, like, I'm not even texting like anyone that I'm interested in, right? Like, whatever. It comes natural, obviously. Like, I'm also not the girl that does like, I would never, I never have. I mean, maybe, who cares? But the one night stands, like, I just don't, especially as a sober woman and just respecting and loving myself, like I don't do that shit. So it kind of just happened. Anybody who does if they're into that. No, I wish I could do. I wish

I could separate. Like the thing is you have sex with me. I fall in love fast. So like this is not a good thing. Right. So we're working through this. We're like, okay, well, maybe it doesn't have to be so intense. Like I am such an intense, you know, woman. Like whatever. It is what it is. That's what I am. But that's okay. I mean, I also think that. But it hurts. Like it hurt. Like literally like you have obsess with me, it's like, you're screwed. And this was in the past, and I'm talking past tense, right? And it's, and the obsession, the, uh, not obsession, like scary, like those weird movies, like, that's not, that's not what I'm talking about, but like the fact that like, it'll completely take over my, my thought process, like this person and the fantasy of this person. Because it's not real.

None of it is real. The only thing that was real with whatever happened physically that you allowed to, for it to happen, right? And I think a lot of that maybe back in the day when I would have casual, maybe relationships or intimacy, it really just continue to chip away at my soul. Because at the end of the day, that says a lot about me, right? Well, yes. It's also important to have sex with feelings, though. I mean, I just personally, I think everybody can have casual sex that means nothing

and that's fine and dandy. But we all know that the best kind of sex is when you have that emotion. connection to somebody too well i don't think that's what i'm talking about because i don't think that's ever happened wait Cheryl unpack that for me what do you mean that hasn't nothing it has nothing to do with the person that and i've had sex with more than one person people people are going to always everything that i say always relates to my ex like you guys i i am i have dated more than enough yes we're being very clear Cheryl is a grown woman yeah i don't i'm not just referring to one per Every time I do a stupid TikTok, you're like, oh, my God, you're not over it.

I'm like, wait, what? I've had like 20 relationships. Yeah. Like actually. Anyway, so what is another thing that has been an ongoing conversation in my therapy session is, have I ever been vulnerable enough, right? To, you know, be truly intimate. And no, because I think it was because of my sexual abuse as a kid. so for me certain things are very intimate that I don't do unless and I'm talking about physical things

unless I am 100% feeling safe and which is very rare I don't remember when the last time that happened actually I think that all of that makes total sense it's interesting to hear you say that you struggle with vulnerability because just in the brief amount of intimacy physical intimacy physical intimacy is what you struggle with you you don't feel like you struggle with vulnerability it depends I'm more vulnerable this is another thing my therapist pointed out via Zoom than I am in person well I was just about to say in the short amount of time that we've been each other's lives I feel like you've been incredibly vulnerable and an open book you know what I mean like you just when you saw me in person yes I felt like that when I saw you in person you you were trying to talk to me about what

going on with me, of course, but I still think that I didn't feel any part of you that was closed off or evasive or anything like that. I don't think it's so dramatic, right? I don't think it's black and white. But I understand like, I mean, like if you, if me and you are like by ourselves, like I am like with my therapist, if I saw her face to face, which I have just recently versus Zoom, I think that it's interesting because I can feel it. My body's uncomfortable in person. When I talk about stuff like this on one-on-one, let's say, in-person versus Zoom. Okay. That's interesting.

Well, I kind of want to talk about date. I know dating is not on the forefront of your mind right now. Is it on yours? No, but my situation has not been 365 plus days. Who's counting? But honestly, why count the days? Also, Cheryl, if I'm just being totally honest, I am not a bomb. shell like you. Yeah, you are. Shut up. That's the number one thing that has to change.

What's the number one thing that has to change? You need to say to yourself because you are a freaking bomb. You're a catch. Anyways, Cheryl, I want to know, though, because this is what happens with me. I'm of the mindset in this moment right now for me. I don't know if I will ever date again. And I know that that sounds really dramatic and really, whoa, because I am not middle-aged yet and whatnot. And somebody listening right now might be like, that is. But why are you thinking so far? Because I think similar to what you said, that it's hard for me to connect. And it's really difficult for me to connect with men, particularly.

I have tons of girlfriends. I have about zero male friends. And it is just not something that I just, I don't like the small chat with men. I don't, they don't want to talk about the things that I want to talk about. Hi, housewives, bravo, like that kind of stuff. And no, I've had, I do part two. I've had gay male friends in my life and I, that's not what I'm talking about. But it's like, it's very, it was, dating was always was a struggle for me.

It was really hard. What part of the dating was the struggle? Oh my gosh. The fact that I wasn't willing to get intimate right away. Is this prior to your boyfriend? Prior, yeah. When I was dating, like heavily dating. But how long ago was that?

10 years ago. Yeah. Things have changed, I think, supposedly. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly and now I'm seriously suspicious. Oh, wait a minute. Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon.

This person writes, my boyfriend has been hanging out with his young professor a lot. He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now, he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Now, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That sounds totally inappropriate. Well, according to this person, this is her boyfriend's former professor and they're the same age. And it's even more likely that they're cheating.

He insists there's nothing between them. I mean, do you believe him? Well, he's certainly trying to get this person to believe him because he now wants them both to meet. So, do we find out if this person's boyfriend really cheated with his professor or not? To hear the explosive finale, listen to the OK Storytime podcast on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom.

If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom's the podcast for you. Open your free I-HeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now.

Hola, it's HoneyGerman. And my podcast, Grasias Come Again, is back. This season, we're going even deeper into the world of music and entertainment. With raw and honest conversations with some of your favorite Latin artists and celebrities. You didn't have to audition. No, I didn't audition. I haven't auditioned in like over 25 years. Oh, wow.

That's a real G-talk right there. Oh, yeah. We've got some of the biggest actors, musicians, content creators, and culture shifters sharing their real stories of failure and success. You were destined to be a start. We talk all about what's viral and trending with a little bit of chisement, a lot of laughs,

and those amazing vivras you've come to expect. And of course, we'll explore deeper topics dealing with identity, struggles, and all the issues affecting our Latin community. You feel like you get a little whitewash because you have to do the code switching? I won't say whitewash because at the end of the day, you know, I'm me. But the whole pretending and cold, you know, it takes a toll on you.

Listen to the new season of Grasasas Come Again as part of My Cultura Podcast Network on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth. Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced.

He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you.

And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you believe that you're making it impossible for yourself because you feel like you need to say why you're not willing to date instead of just saying, I'm not, I'm just not into dating, period. No explanation needed. Well, I'm pretty open. I think also with my therapist and with my circle that I'm not interested in dating at all. Right now, I don't think I have the capacity anyways. But because also I remember how much effort it took when I did date. So when I was single, I did the blind dates. I did. I did. the setups. I did online dating. I did group dating. I did set up with people for work. Group dating. Oh, there used to be a website back in 2000s. That was called Grupper. And you went on and

signed up to go on a group date and what they would be paid for it in advance. And the company made the reservation and you all met up at said place. Wow. You really put way more effort than I ever have it or will. That's why I think that to me is the overwhelming thing that makes me not want to get back out there is I know how much effort I put in to get to my 10 year relationship and I don't have the stamina and the mental energy to put myself through that again. Right now, today, you don't. Today, right now in this moment. But that's why I want to know for you that has had the time physically the distance. You have more distance between your relationship than I do right now. I want to know why you're at this place where you're not putting the effort into dating or

interested in putting into it right now in your life. Because I'm putting it into me because I was a serial dater, right? So I dated from the age, good old ripe age of 13 until three years ago, back to back. I'm not even joking. Not even a day. Okay. Like it was back to back to back. And these are all serious relationships. But because I was so scared of being lonely. I always had a backup plan. That sounds so bad, but it's true. But Cheryl, I know people exactly like you. I know a lot of women specifically just like that. It's fear of being alone in your own head, your voice, your voices in your head, the thoughts that you think about about yourself. It isn't necessarily enticing, right? You're not like,

I look forward to it. No, but then you do it and then you realize, oh, it's not that bad. And by the way, everyone thinks like this about themselves and it's normal, but it's so empowering. And I, you know, like how the time is really just an illusion. Like for me, I, I was just saying this to my sister. She wants me to do her makeup for her wedding. And I've been like freaking out about that. Anyway, that's a whole other podcast. But I have been like saying to my sister, I don't even know how much time has gone by since my last relationship or whatever. But I also, it's like, you know when something is just not in your zeitgeist? Yeah.

Like it is not even close to a priority right now. And I am being so selfish in a good way that I've never done this before in my life. Like I said, I was a serial dater for 20 years of my life. 30. Just kidding. 30 years. Can I say, because I, during my single period last time, I felt like I got really good at being single. Do you feel lonely ever? I felt lonely a lot of times, but I still pushed through and made

myself do things alone because I wasn't going to miss out on activities and memories because I didn't have somebody. And I felt that my relationship came into my life when I was fully secure in being alone. And throughout my relationship, I still did things alone and never allowed myself. to become codependent now maybe that was a problem maybe it wasn't I don't know but that's who I was and am still but I want to ask you because some of the things I did when I was single was like I went traveled overseas by myself went to the movies by myself I just did this last Sunday I went to a restaurant sat outside of the table by myself had my lunch had my coffee did not look at my cell phone did not bring a book, fully sat there in the sun around, mind you, this was a crowded

restaurant, people all around me. So I want to know, when's the last time you did any of those things, Cheryl? I always, I mean, the ballroom dancer in me, right? So like I traveled the world alone all the time. But so that's just like. Was that for work or for pleasure? No, for pleasure. I was dating someone in England. Okay, but no, no. So you were dating somebody. So I also now I won't travel around the world because of my dog. They don't let the dogs go international. Okay. But yes, I always, I mean, I don't always because I don't always leave. But yeah, I have no fear with, I just don't like the movies. I think it's a dirty place. And I just can't sit still and I have no interest in watching a movie elsewhere when I can watch it here if I wanted to. But I'd rather watch the OJ Simpson docu series at this moment. Anywho. But as far as restaurants go, yeah, I mean, I have no fear with that. Like, that is okay for me. But I don't know if I could do the whole no phone thing. part of it. It's part of it. It's intentional. It's intentional. But yeah, I guess I could. I mean, I could definitely keep, I mean, people watching. It's a thing, you know. I will say, I fully was invested in the people

sitting next to me in their conversation that they were having when I was dropping. Having, I mean, I couldn't help. The guy was sitting next to me and talking. So when you're not looking at your phone, I just, I just listened. And did people come up to you? Did like any hot dudes? No. No. Nobody came up to me. But I'm just saying, that for anybody listening, those are some small kinds of challenges that you can do for yourself while you're in this before this I do part two era because you don't know what's going to happen if you don't put yourself out there. And I know Cheryl doesn't like going to the movies by herself. I don't like to go to the movies, period, even with somebody. Sure. But going to the movies

alone is I think one of the easiest entry to doing things alone because it is a dark theater it is quiet nobody is going to notice and nobody's going to be there no one goes to the movies but you're my sister people go to the movie Cheryl but I'm just saying that's an easy way to start because some people are like go to a restaurant alone that is way too daunting you know what I mean and by by the way do everything in safety first so don't go to environments that make you feel uncomfortable or at night or drinking alcohol alone parking in underground garages Yeah, don't put your, I'm not saying put yourself in uncomfortable situations where your safety is jeopardized, but I think that's part of, you know, doing this whole experience of your next chapter in

life is putting yourself into situations where you are alone. I will say I traveled to Greece by myself. And it was, I've also traveled to Paris by myself, but I will say Greece was a really exciting trip for me because it was inexpensive. It was warm and the people were incredibly friendly. So nobody asked me, where is my husband? Where is my boyfriend? It was all about being by myself, having this experience. I will say it was difficult to take pictures of myself on vacation. That was fun. But I really do encourage everybody to have some sort of eat, pray, love experience. you know, post-breakup, post-divorce, whatever it might be, because you do get a sense of that the world is so big that maybe your problems are your problems, but there's so much

more out there to experience in life. And I just encourage anybody that maybe is going through that to, I started with a small weekend trip, honestly, before I went overseas. So I went from Los Angeles to Big Sur one weekend. I went on Valentine's Day once. I love Big sir. I also think you should do all of this when you're in relationships. I don't think it's just about post anything or prior to anything. It's like, because it just reminds you that you are loved by yourself. Like, like, this is part of self-care. And I just remember in my past relationships, not just this last one. Sorry, I have to like, make it clear. I remember that those moments of like, okay, you know, you do your thing. I do my thing. There was a lot of.

of insecurity there like a lot of like what ifs what ifs what ifs they're going to do whatever they're going to do with with you being like in a relationship with you or without you like there's no control over that but this is this if you really want to ask like why are you so single because there's so much of the patterns that I want to change first and foremost for myself that I don't want to be feeling or like not believing the thoughts in my head that start to get worried that someone's going to cheat, someone's going to do this, someone's going to lie, and there's always that fear instilled in my identity because of, you know, my first memory with seeing my father with another woman, like at two. And like, there's just all of that.

Like, regardless, like, I'm not, it is what it is. That's my past. And I've moved forward. But in order for me to move forward, I need to, first of all, put that to rest, like all those feelings of insecurity and jealousy and all of it. Yeah. I mean, this is what's so great about you, Cheryl, is that you are doing the work and you know what your lines are. And I think that that's great. We touched on it just a second ago, but I do want to talk about it is Valentine's Day this week. How do you feel about Valentine's Day? Did you have thoughts about Valentine's Day when you were in a relationship versus what you have now? Like, what do you think about it? I have no thoughts about it except, but when I was in a relationship, the amount of pressure, it was always like we

have to go on a trip. You have to get me, like, you're going to get me a bunch of roses, right? Like, and if you're with somebody, mind you, I've been in other relationships. And if you are with somebody who may not be so good at planning ahead or like always comes up with a, oh, I just haven't had this time. It's like, it's just a Debbie Downer because the expectations, you see all these Instagram like rose petals like going from a mile away to their you know whatever wherever they're staying anyway there's sanctuary it's like so romantic and picture perfect and then you're like

great I got 12 I got a dozen roses great right and it's just like it's just for me because of my expectations now if I were a yogi and I had no expectations then man would it be amazing it'd probably be amazing I mean I hear that I think that so media has really turned the dial on so many people and how we view our relationships through this fake lens. I want to know, what do you think somebody should be doing this Valentine's Day that is single? Like should, I don't know, should they have a journaling session? Should they be having what is that like burning the intentions, like writing stuff down and burning it? You should be doing that tonight. It's a full moon. So.

Love it. Yeah. So you should be. doing that tonight. Okay, Heather. But as far as I think, honestly, when you give anything so much energy, right? Like, it's just, I don't know, maybe you do want to do something. Maybe you want to do Galantines. Like, for me, I have a little sweater that I was gifted from PR. It says, Isabella on it. It's pink and it has a heart. That's what I'm doing to celebrate. And I'll be probably in this room, maybe shooting content on a how to do Valentine's Day makeup. Like, I don't freaking know. I don't know.

You know what I'm doing. I'm probably working, most likely. I don't have my calendar in front of me. It's just another day and another dollar. Yeah. And listen, I think anybody who maybe this is their first Valentine's Day post split. Stop looking on social media then.

Don't even do it. Agreed. Don't open the app. And if you do it, realize that it's not picture perfect. They're probably fighting right now as you're looking at their posts. Okay. They're probably literally like,

that's not enough rose petals. How dare you? it wasn't white enough those white roses like stuff like that like you don't want you should just be counting your blessings you're single or take a page out of Cheryl's book and maybe like order something for yourself to be delivered yeah just go shopping I do it every day every day's valentine's day buy yourself the flowers or have some ice cream delivered you can get a person delivered too supposedly who knows I said to myself I need some cute jammies so I just ordered jammies ordered some new slippers there's some great sales right

now you guys go on my shop LTC for more info i love that Cheryl Cheryl's a hustler i just had to plug that in no i love it how about this just hug yourself like you don't understand that's powerful it is a powerful thing you know you hug you hug you hugging yourself is really like all you need i'm not joking i'm not trying to be corny but that's the easiest thing and then also in the mirror when you're brushing your teeth you need to say how much you love yourself like i you know what you know what, don't even say I love you. You need to do what Mel Robbins does and she does this. She gives herself literally like this, a high five. And it just gets her to laugh. And I did that straight for like six months. It really changed my day. Before we go, Cheryl, is just because we are in the Valentine's

Day zone, do you have any? I'm really forcing this down my throat, aren't you? You have any funny Valentine's day stories from your tone? It's not necessarily funny. It's more like, what, like, it's almost like I was always the type and I'm speaking past tense where I would be in a relationship and it's like, okay, clearly he's not going to do it for me. So I'm going to do it. And then I'm going to look like that he did it for me. Like I, so I was like the person who micromanaged, right? Like the Instagram girlfriend. I planned the Cancun trips. I planned the, you know, it's Valentine's Day. And then it was like, it's always something day to celebrate. And it was always like, you know, free trips. Because when you're in relationship and, you know, you have a following, they offer free sandals, St. Lucia. It's like, it's always. And then like, guess who does all the booking? Like, I might as well be a travel agent, you know, and just organizing everything. And then you're like, wait a second. This is supposed to be celebrated together. Like this day is not just about, right? And then resentment built. It's a whole thing, you guys. And I don't think when we scroll through Instagram, though,

our lazy brain is active, right, when we're doing this. Just remind yourself that this is probably what's happening in their relationship. Remind yourself everybody. It ain't that romantic. It looks beautiful. Instagram is not reality. No, because it's really, I mean, just remember all those down, those times where you were just like, like really? Like you just didn't feel loved. You didn't feel seen. You didn't feel heard. And you know what? You're going to have to do that for yourself or learn how to because then you'll never need it from anybody. And then that's when your superhero soulmate, there's no such thing, comes into your life, you know?

This kind of felt like a mini therapy session, Cheryl. So thank you. Heather. You know what? Thanks for joining me. This was, it went by so fast. Like, and I really believe I know it was about me, but it's not. It's about anybody who wants to talk about their story.

So thank you. And, you know, a lot of people are going to be able to relate to this. And you've helped so many. I know that for a fact, including myself. So if you're like me or like Heather, single, navigating life, post-divorce in my case, do you want some advice? Call us or email us, follow us on socials. All the information will be in the show notes.

Make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do part two, an Iheart radio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. Maybe. My boyfriend's professor is way too friendly, and now I'm seriously suspicious. Wait a minute, Sam. Maybe her boyfriend's just looking for extra credit. Well, Dakota, luckily, it's back to school week on the OK Storytime podcast, so we'll find out soon. This person writes, my boyfriend's been hanging out with his young professor a lot.

He doesn't think it's a problem, but I don't trust her. Now he's insisting we get to know each other, but I just want her gone. Oh, hold up. Isn't that against school policy? That seems inappropriate. Maybe find out how it ends by listening to the OK Storytime podcast and the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle.

The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy Truethers believe in... I guess they would be Ken Spurs. Fieracy theorists. That's right. To give you the answers, and you still blew it. The Puzzler.

Listen on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA. Right now in a backlog will be identified in our lifetime. On the new podcast, America's Crime Lab, every case has a story to tell. And the DNA holds the truth.

He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha. This technology is already solving so many cases. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.