The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - When A Former Bachelorette Knew Her Marriage Was Going To Kill Her

Episode Date: April 9, 2026

Former Bachelorette star Ashley Hebert is telling you why you shouldn’t fear divorce. Now in her chapter two, Ashley is opening up about dating, learning to loving herself, and why vacationing with her ex-husband has been the best thing for her kids! Does Ashley want to get married again? Kathy Swarts is asking the tough questions!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. How could this have happened in City Hall building? Somebody tell me that. A shocking public murder. This is one of the most dramatic events that really ever happened in New York City politics. I scream. Get down. Get down. Those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten.

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It's your mentor, Kathy Swartz, from the Golden Bachelor, and the podcast Bachelor Happy Hour, Golden Hour. Today, I've got an amazing guest from Bachelor Nation, former bachelorette, now in her chapter two, Ashley A Bear. So, Ashley, you were first a contestant on Brad Womack season, and Brad lives in Austin like I do, so there's that connection. And then you went on to star in the Bachelorette. For our audience, you know, who may not know, tell them how it all turned out for you,

your season as a Bachelorette. My goodness. Yeah, it's a long story. I would say overall it was a very successful part of my life, even though it didn't turn out in, you know, a merit. We were married for 10 years. But I feel like even though we didn't stay married, like what came of being on the show and our relationship is like such a beautiful thing and such an important part of my life and

his life and our lives together. And even though we're not, you know, even though we're not in love, we still have a great relationship. And I feel like we've created two like amazing human beings and we just live a very happy, fruitful life. So I feel like, you know, a lot of good things came out. I know a lot of people say, oh, it wasn't a success. It wasn't a true success story.

But to us, it's like a real success because our lives are forever, you know, we're blessed by all of the things that the show brought to us. So I think it's a real success. Well, I'm glad to hear that. I would say it's a real success. I mean, you, how many contestants actually marry the guy that they get engaged to? So the fact that you and JP did get married and had these two great kids and built a life for 10 years. I mean, that's really the building blocks of a good happy life. So I'm with you.

It's a success. It is. Thank you. I agree with you. What was it like, though? I'm curious, being on the Golden Bachelor, I didn't get the guy, thankfully. But when you meet the guy, when you and JP are in the bubble and you're together, what's it like then?

What was it like then to transition into building that marriage, that relationship off camera. Honestly, I feel like JP and I are very, whether cameras are on or off, I feel like we're, it's hard for us to not be our authentic selves. And I think that was, we're similar in that way. So I don't think it was a huge difference from going on camera to off camera in terms of who we were. We were still the same people. Definitely, of course, a lot of, you know, adjustments with your life changes, right? Like you're in the spotlight. And I think in a way, it's great at first, but then, you know, when you start going through issues, like there's different challenges that you, that you maybe deal with differently because you're

in the public eye. So yeah, it's very interesting. I guess I haven't thought that. It was so long ago to me. So that's where I was heading. So, you know, this is I do part two. You're in your part two, your chapter two. I'm curious, again, because this plays out in the public eye, did you see your divorce coming because everyone on the show, you know, we get behind the contestants. We believe in the fairy tale. And so just have it break up and then have it publicly. Did you see it coming? Was it a surprise? Because I think Bachelor Nation saw it as a surprise. That's a good question. I think maybe really early on there were some red flags that I had in my mind. I think everything shifted when we had kids. I think that's really what he had.

happened. And to this day, now I know looking back why we didn't work out. We're two different people, two different. We think of life. We see things differently. We see life very differently. So I can see it now. But I think when you get caught up at the beginning, you kind of just maybe push it off to the side, like the little red flags that you have here and there. Yeah. And I think it was somewhat sudden. But it was like the first, half of our marriage was very strong and then I felt like it kind of crumbled towards the end. But I also feel like sometimes when you're with someone, like are you as authentic as you are, you ever really being your true self? I think when people get put in situations when you have

kids and you're you're dealing with, you know, making decisions for people that are very important in your life. Like it puts you in a hard place. And sometimes you see a person differently after that. I don't know if that makes sense. No, it does. I'm sitting there thinking because I was married very young. I was married for almost 46 years. And my husband died by suicide. So that's... Well, it's okay. It's okay. Thank you. But I bring that up only because you said it was sort of sudden. And end of marriage can be sudden or it can grow or dissolve slowly over time. And, you know, you've had to... Obviously, he's gone. You've had to co-parent. You've had to sort of build a life outside of marriage, if that makes sense, with him, with raising kids.

And that's got to be a whole other strand of that you probably didn't anticipate is what I'm guessing. Can I tell you something funny now that I'm thinking about it? I kind of feel like co-parenting with him is easier than it was when we were married. Like we get along so well. I think when expectations of each other are dropped and address who we are and we are. and we don't have any expectations for the other person, except for just caring for your kids and putting your kids first

and doing the right thing and setting a great example. We get along so well. You know, he comes over to my house, sits down and we talk for hours. Like, over a glass of wine, we still are, you know, we're really good co-parents. How old are your children now? They're 9 and 11. So did they, again, I wasn't divorced, but my, what immediately came to my mind,

do your children say to you because you're you know it's a double-edged short you're so successful co-parenting why aren't mommy and daddy still together do you ever get that no they don't ask that they know how different we are oh okay I think they understand but it's really funny because we recently went to the Bahamas like we vacation together so for spring break we took the kids to the Bahamas I saw that and my and our son Ford goes mom dad this is a perfect opportunity for you guys to get back together. Well, that's what I'm saying. I mean, there was probably a kernel of truth in that.

Yeah, the way he said it was so funny. He's like, it's a perfect opportunity for you to. So I have a couple of questions. So my parents, just so we're clear, if you remember the war of the roses, that was my parents divorced. There was nothing collaborative or congenial ever. No co-parenting. Zippity do not.

So I find the fact that you guys chose to vacation together amazing for your children. But I'm curious why was it important to do that? What made you guys come up with that idea? Honestly, we do everything together. We vacationed together. We went to Hawaii for two weeks last year. We just, we love our kids and we are still a family. Even though we're divorced, like we very much are like, okay, family time, family dinner, family this.

Like we're very much still a unit. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else. It just works for us. And also, I think it's important to show your kids. I know not everybody agrees with this, but I don't think marriage is for everybody. And I think that everyone's so scared to get divorced. It's like, oh my gosh, my kids. But I think that when you try and you try and it doesn't work and it's not working and it's not healthy,

I think it's okay to make that decision and to still, you know, move on your separate ways, but still have a great relationship. And I think that's what we want to show our kids too, right? Like it doesn't have to be perfect for it to work. That's a great lesson to teach your children that, you know, at a very basic level, mommy and daddy don't love each other in that way, but we love you guys and we want you to grow up and be strong, great, you know, adults and this is how we're doing it. I think it may not be traditional, but who cares if it's working, right?

I think it displays healthy relationships. That's what I'm saying. Our relationship is not healthy when we were fighting and screaming and arguing, but we had a lot of tension between us. And now we don't. So we're showing more healthy relationships now with our kids than we did when we were married. I'm telling you, write a book. It'll be a bestseller.

It works for us. But I have a question. Are either one of you dating? Because I only can imagine that that might complicate that chapter two of I'm dating, but I'm also, how does that work? Yeah. So I, when I, so, okay, let me think back here in the timeline. So when we got divorced.

year later, I dated somebody seriously for four years. We're not together anymore, just, you know, for that's a whole other podcast. But we're not together anymore. But I do think during that time, it was really hard for JP. Even though we still co-parented respectfully, there was not around the kids, but when we were in like alone talking or if he was messaging me, I think there was some tension there for sure. I think the relationship was easier when, my ex-boyfriend and I kind of separated. Like, it was easier for him to feel more comfortable. I know he was very hurt when I moved on a year later.

I don't ask him about his relationships because I don't want to interfere in that way, but I do think he dates on and off. Do you think he would get married again? Me? Yeah. A reason I ask that is you said marriage isn't for everyone. Yeah. So unpopular opinion, and I might get some heat from this, like, I don't.

I would not personally get married again. I don't think marriage. This is another podcast. I don't think marriage is in the best interest of a woman. But that's my own, that's my own personal thing. That's my own personal thing. Ashley, this podcast is about you. So let's talk about that for a second.

Why is it not in your best interest? I mean, you've got to give me more. Okay. That's a good. I don't want to say anything too heated. I just think the, I just think at, okay, let me have to try to explain. When I was in a relationship, I felt like all the time I had was given to someone else. There was no time for me.

There was no, everything I had belonged to someone else. I was expected to do this, this, this, this, care for this, do this, take care of this. There was nothing left for me. And I see myself as a successful person. in all areas of my life. And I don't necessarily think marriage helped me with that. I think being a single woman allowed me to be more successful in all the areas of my life. And maybe that's not important to everybody.

But for me, I just, I thrived when I was not in a marriage and even more when I'm not in a relationship. So for me, it's, it's working for me right now. So, okay, so first of all, let me just say, this is your chapter two. You get to define it. You get, you know, it doesn't matter what other people think. Right. You get to do this all on your terms, which is sort of what you're saying.

Right. I'm curious, you said, is it that if you, I think there's a financial piece here too. Women, I think, often stay in marriages because they are financially insecure. They, they can't survive on their own. Right. I agree with that. So you are self-reliant, clearly. Right.

And that makes it easier to espouse the theory that you're, you know, that you're, that you're, that you are. But I'm curious. Marriage, I think that's at really any age, lots of women are choosing to be single, have children, single. But you just said you didn't even feel the need to be in a relationship. Is that, tell me why that is. I think it's just where I'm at in my life. I think we all go through these periods, whether it's just lifestyle, hormonal fluctuations or whatever it is. But I think that we all go through.

our periods in our life where we need certain things and where I'm at right now, I feel like I figured it out if I have all these responsibilities in my free time, I need to be, you know, like taking care of me. And when I'm in a relationship, I'm expected to take care of someone else, which is hard for me because all day I'm taking care of everybody else. So it's like I was left with nothing for me. And, you know, some people say to me, oh, well, it's probably just the person you're with or the relationship you're in and maybe you just didn't find the right person. And maybe that's true. But I'm just loving my life right now because it's just I can go home and I can do what I want

to do, right? Like I can spend time with my kids and I can, I have so much freedom right now. And I sometimes feel like maybe this is a negative thing about me is when I'm with someone, I feel almost like, oh, like I can't go do this because I got to be here doing that, I don't I was sitting on the couch with this, like, I just feel such a freedom in being single. So that's what's working for me. I admire that. I will tell you, because I'm a lot older than you are.

And I think many women at your age, at least my friends, my daughter, they think they would call that. They would define that as selfish. I want to be selfish. I haven't heard that word out of your mouth once. It's not being selfish. It's living the life that you're choosing to live. It's because I feel like when I was younger. it was like, oh my goodness, she's such a great mom.

She does everything for her kids. She sacrifices everything. And I was that person. And I woke up and I said, listen, like, we got to teach women to take care of themselves. Like, that's how you take care of your kids is when you have a happy mom that's well fed, that's well cared for, that's rested. Like, that's when you truly can be your best self as a mom. And I feel like I don't know why we think that over like working women and sacrifice.

and sacrifice and sacrifice is like a good mom. I hear you. You're singing to the choir here. So when my parents were divorced, I was young. I was six. And I remember that I wanted, again, divorce is much more prevalent now than it was when I was young. But I remember I wanted. I'm curious what your kids say, if they, if they see you as this independent woman, if they or and this happy, satisfied person, or do they or simultaneously say to you, but, you know, I would like to have that normal relationship that kids have, you know, mom and dad, a dog and a fence kind of thing.

Or are they, how do they feel about your life choices? That's a good question. I would love to ask them. My kids are very, like, let me give you a perfect example. When our kids were little when we got divorced and when we sat in the kitchen and told them, my son, who was four and a half at the time, said, we said it. We had to say it a couple times because we weren't sure if he was understanding. And he said, oh, no, I understand and I'm okay with it.

Like, they are so, they're just, they're different. I think these kids are, our kids are just different. I don't know. I don't know if they're like old souls or they just have like a really mature mindset. and a very, they grew up in a very, like, respectful, healthy family. And I think that they truly embody what we've always wanted them to be by displaying behaviors of respect towards each other and thoughtfulness and kindness. Like, I just think they're like really good kids.

You should ask them. I'm very curious because we should bring them on the podcast. We should bring them on the podcast. Your son was four and a half. You have a daughter as well, right? Yeah, she was younger. She was like, she too. Well, let me think back on my timeline here because she might have been,

she was really young. Like we couldn't, she wasn't understanding. So I think maybe she was two and a half. Yeah. He was four and a half. Yeah. It was a long time ago. I mean, in some ways, my son got divorced when his daughter was two and a half.

And in some ways, your children, it's all they know, especially since you and your ex-husband are respectful to each other. it's the relationship they know. It is not abnormal. I use that word, but, you know, it's normal to them because that's what they've grown up with. Right. They're not tormented by it. They're not like, I wish you two or.

I've never, never once have they said, I wish you two were together. How did they feel about the guy you dated for four years? They loved him. How was that when he left? So he only met them a year into our relationship. So we were very, you know, like I wanted to make sure. I didn't want to introduce them. to him if we weren't sure about the relationship.

So how, so my son, my son Ford, he's 11, he's a very active boy, very like silly, funny, active, sporty. And they would interact a lot. Like they had their, you know, fun time. But, you know, my ex and I are still friends. We still see him sometimes. Boy, you are a modern woman. I got to say.

I really am. You really are. But you know what it is? When I care about someone and when I love someone, I really do. It doesn't just shut off like that. I can't just be, have a great relationship with someone and then just cut them out of my life. Like those people are very important people. They still live in my heart.

So there's definitely still, you know, still interaction with people in my past. Yeah. I just, again, this was not my relationship. I've told me it was just abysmal. my parents got divorced and then so it's a very different situation. I applaud you for that. I think I have a couple. I have so many questions.

Well, because you are so different in a very positive way. I love the message you're sending to women, but so many women out there you mentioned earlier, there are women out there who are contemplating getting out of a marriage. they want a chapter two, what would you say to them to make them, how would you tell them to approach the decision making, I guess? It's a good question. I get a lot of messages from people. Actually, when I got, when I, we got, when we announced our divorce, I got messages from people I knew, like in person about how did you know. That's the real question I always get. Like, how did you know your marriage was over? Like, what was it? Without sharing too many details,

there was one moment, like something that happened where I was like, yep, this is, this is it. There's no turning back from this. So this is, you know, this is it for me. But I know that a lot of women, especially if they have kids, go back and forth and like, what's the best for their kids? Like, I think women truly and men too, probably. But I know the messages I've got from women is like, I don't want to ruin my family and I don't want to mess up my kids. And I, like, they're always thinking about their kids. And like I said before, if you, have tried and tried at your relationship, first off, I think everybody should try to make it work. It's not like, oh, it's not working. I'm out of here. You know, try to make it work. We did therapy.

We, you know, it went on for a long time. But I think that also it's like, it might not work. And I think it's, number one, knowing it's okay to have a failed marriage. I don't think it's called failed, but people call it failed. I think divorce is okay if it's not working for you. You have one life to live. You know what I would always say to myself? Do tell. No, I know, no, I would always say like this, and this is no offense to JP, because, you know, we talk all the time. I'll even tell him I said this. Like, I felt, you know how women, they hold in a lot of stress and it says it leads to, like, autoimmune diseases? I'm like, this marriage is going to kill me. Like, it's going to kill me. Like, so I made the decision because I'm like, I care about myself and my health a lot. And especially for the kids, my longevity and for to be there for my kids. So I kind of thought. about it like that. But I also think the most important thing is like, if you're not in a healthy relationship, that's not great for your kids. Everyone thinks sticking around an unhealthy tension, like, that's not good for kids. So I think that if it's unhealthy, if you've worked at it,

it's okay. Why hasn't a woman formally participated in a Formula One race weekend in over a decade? Think about how many skills they have to develop at such a young age. What can we learn from all of the new F1 romance novel suddenly popping up every year. He still smelled of podium champagne and expensive friction. And how did a 2023 event called Wagageddon change the paddock forever? That day is just seared into my memory. I'm culture writer and F1 expert Lily Herman, and these are just a few of the questions I'm tackling on no grip, a Formula One culture podcast that dives into the under-explored pockets

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A charismatic politician. You know, he just bent the rules all the time. I still have a weapon. have a weapon and I could shoot you. And an outsider with a secret. He alleged he was a victim of flat down. That may or may not have been political. That may have been about sex.

Listen to Rorschach, murder at City Hall on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose podcast. My latest episode is with Noah Kahn. The singer-songwriter behind the multi-platinum global hit, stick season and one of the biggest voices in music today. Noah opens up about the pressure that followed his rapid success, his struggles with mental health and body image,

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I go beyond the headlines with the people building our future. This week, an interview with one of the most influential. figures in Silicon Valley, Open AI's CEO Sam Altman. I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to products we put out in the world. From power to parenthood. Kids, teenagers, I think they won't need a lot of guardrails around AI. This is such a powerful and such a new thing.

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Find out on Mostly Human. My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI. Listen to Mostly Human on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. I have to ask you, on my podcast, Goldenow, we just had this conversation the other day. I think that oftentimes marriages, people go through the motions. You said, oh, we did counseling, almost like ticking the box.

Because I don't know how you feel about this, but I'm interested. Do you think many marriages, many relationships, it is a box ticking when really in your heart of hearts, you knew, you said, this is going to kill me. You knew that you weren't happy, that it was not a good thing. for you. So is, is the therapy just something you did to check the box? No, I mean, I really wanted to see if there was a way to fix the issues. I really did. And I think he did too. I didn't, I don't think about it as checking a box, but maybe other people do. I really was curious to see if there was a way, if this was normal for two people. But then it just got, the therapy got a little weird,

honestly, like it just got a little funky. Like it just felt what I'll tell you is that I felt like when we were on camera, it was different from when. So we were doing it through Zoom because it was during COVID, by the way. Oh, got it. Oh, when we were doing the Zoom, like I felt like after the computer closed, like it was like a different. Dynamic.

Yeah, there was a different dynamic. Yeah. So this is not, this is not like anybody can just sit here and I could talk. to you and be whoever I want you to think I am. And then when I close the box, be my normal self again. So it was just like, I don't know. It just, it didn't work. Something happened and it didn't work.

And I won't share that because that's a little like too personal. Wait, I'm sorry. You just, I just want to make sure I understand something happened in therapy or something is something happening in your life with JP? Yes, with JP, something that like a moment, a conversation. Right. It had to do with a therapy session. There was something that happened.

And I said, no. Got it. Yeah. No, I didn't know if you were saying therapy or the marriage. Well, you know, it sounds like you are very different from my, certainly my experience with divorce. I will say in reading about you and, you know, I'm in my chapter two of life. And I always come and sort of think about how even though we're different ages and my kids are grown and I have grandchildren, Chapter two, I don't know what I want to say, chapter two targets, for lack of a better word,

seem to be similar for women across the board, whether you're choosing yourself, your career, whatever it is. We take time. We feel good about our chapter two. We feel good about making decisions that are best for us. And I find that interesting that age doesn't seem to change that. Yeah. I mean, I think that, I don't know, it's so hard because I see some people in chapter two like, oh, I want this or so many people are pushing me.

Like, oh, you know, go do this or be with this or be with this type of person. And I'm like, I'm so happy here in my chapter two. Just, you know, enjoying life and my kids and really taking the time that I have and putting it where I want to be. You know, and I feel like I never got to experience that when I was younger. I don't know. So you don't want to date right now or you do? I don't want to date right now. You don't want to date.

That's all right. You have plenty of time. And sometimes I wonder, like, sorry, this is maybe TMI, but like, there's, I mean, I'm about to be 42. And I feel like my hormones really, like, I really understand human nature now in terms of women's hormones, which I know that's a whole other podcast or a medical podcast. But I feel like my hormones have shifted so much. in like what how I feel on a day to day.

Like sometimes I feel super feminine and I want, you know, to go on a sexy vacation. Sorry, sexy vacation with somebody and enjoy time at the pool. And the next day I'm going to be a badass bitch. Like I'm just going to be like, you know, I'm going to work my butt off. I'm going to do great. I'm going to do everything I need for the kids. Like I just feel so different every day that I'm trying to understand myself a little better in this, like in my 40s. it all be true? I mean, it doesn't have to be one of the other. Right. Yeah. Right. But the only thing,

it's confusing because it's like some days I want one thing, like some days I want to date and then the next day I'm like, no, I don't want to date. So that's the tricky part that I'm trying to understand. But I think just time will reveal. Yeah. I was going to say that it's not, it's like some days you want vanilla ice cream. Some days you want chocolate ice cream. So I'm curious, what advice would you give women because you clearly are very content, successful in your chapter two. Not all women feel that way. So how would you tell a woman to find her happy place? How would you tell her how to date? What advice would you give to women your age or close to your age who are entering their chapter two? You know what I would tell anybody going into chapter two or anybody in their chapter one or whatever

chapter they're in is I truly believe in a woman's body and their like their gut. If you have to force something, like if you keep fighting something, it's not right for you. You have to go where like the waterfall will push you like naturally. Like if you're always like for me, when something's not right for me, I'm fighting back. I'm fighting back against it. But then you have to just release and let it go. Like trust yourself in knowing what's right for you. If your marriage isn't working or if your relationship isn't working or your job isn't working,

stop fighting it. Stop fighting it. You do the work. It's okay to let go. It's okay to shift. It's okay to make decisions that are best for you. It's okay to be a little selfish because when you take care of yourself, guess what? You're a better mom.

You're a better friend. Yeah. You're a better person. It's putting the oxygen mask on yourself first. Yeah, I love who I am because I take care of myself so I can be my best self for everybody around me. So that's kind of my, I don't know, that was a lot of different things. I think I only learned that as I was getting older because like in my 30s I was, you know,

it was like suffering was, it's like almost like women. I don't know. I don't know if you, if they make you or society makes you think like suffering is part of like being a woman and like giving everything to everybody. and not caring for yourself. And I think that needs to shift. Like that's what I would tell people, care for yourself.

Yeah. I mean, I think it's great advice. I do think that as women, and you've said it very, very succinctly, that women are expected to do it all and give all and be all to everyone. And sometimes we get lost in the shuffle, or what we want for ourselves. And I think that's what's hard about getting from,

if you're going from chapter one to chapter two. Again, you and I are both in our chapter two. We got here in very different ways. Right. I think what I've learned, first, I was going to tell what I've learned. What is the biggest thing you've learned about yourself from going from chapter one to chapter two other than to take care of yourself? Yeah, that's a good question.

I think I've learned that maybe I don't, like maybe I don't follow the mold in that way. Like I had different beliefs about things. And also I'm open to changing my beliefs, maybe. I think that I learned when I care about myself, I'm a better person all around for my kids. I think a lot of small, oh, this is something that I learned. This is so silly. I don't even know if you're going to care about this. Of course I care.

And it's never silly, but go ahead. This has helped me so much in my life in every different, in business, in keeping my house tidy and caring for my kids, in saving money for this. like all these little steps, all these little things that you do add up to something really big one day. So I used to push myself, Ashley, do this, Ashley, do that. I was grinding, grinding. And then you know what happened? I burnt out and I was left with nothing.

And then I decided to do just a little bit every day. And guess what? I cared for myself and it turned into something really big in every aspect of my life. So small steps equals something big in the end. And it's so funny you say that because I agree with you wholeheartedly. I also, what I've learned, it's okay to say no, I mean, among other things. That's a really, that's a good one. Yeah, I've learned to say no.

And I've also learned, which you seem to have mastered expertly, I've learned, I'm not everybody's cup of tea and not everyone's going to agree with the way I live my life. And that's okay. And that's okay. And that's something you learn like later in life I find, right? we're all so insecure when we're younger about, there's too many people who wrote to please. I'm sorry.

But I think you're, I mean, I have a son. You know, he's going to be 41. But, you know, I think that you have mastered the art of you in a, in a, and I don't know why, just the circumstances of your life, that really could be a model to other women because I do think we're expected to, you know, just even basic things. Like when the kid is sick who stays home, the mom, you know, it's, right. You know, there's books written about mother, daughter connection.

And it's just, it's, it's, it's almost, it's almost a cultural expectation that we have to learn to, to say no, no more. I'm not going to do this. That's not what my life is going to be. Yes. And you seem to have mastered it. Yeah. I think so. I hope so.

I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not perfect, definitely. And don't get me wrong, I'm obsessed with my kids and I'm constantly, like, doing everything for them. But when there are moments where there are opportunities for me to to step away and stop pushing and stop pushing, I take them. And I used to not take them. Why hasn't a woman formally participated in a Formula One race weekend in over a decade? Think about how many skills they have to develop at such a young age. What can we learn from all of the new F1 romance novel suddenly popping up every year. He still smelled of podium champagne and expensive friction. And how did a 2023 event called Wag Agetten change the paddock forever?

That day is just seared into my memory. I'm culture writer and F1 expert Lily Herman, and these are just a few of the questions I'm tackling on no grip, a Formula One Culture podcast that dives into the under-explored pockets of the sport. In each episode, a different guest and I will go deep. deeper into the wacky mishap, scandals, and sagas, both on the track and far away from it, that have made F1 a delightful, decadent dumpster fire for more than 75 years. Listen to no grip on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. A silver 40-caliber handgun was recovered at the scene.

From IHeart Podcasts and Best Case Studios. This is Worshack, murder at City Hall. How could this have happened in City Hall? Somebody tell me that. July 2003, Councilman James E. Davis arrives at New York City Hall with a guest. Both men are carrying concealed weapons. And in less than 30 minutes, both of them will be dead. Everybody in the chambers ducked.

A shocking public murder. I scream, get down, get down. Those are shots. Those are shots. Get down. A charismatic politician. You know, he just bent the rules all the time. I still have a weapon.

and I could shoot you. And an outsider with a secret. He alleged he was a victim of flatdown. That may or may not have been political. That may have been about sex. Listen to Rorschach, murder at City Hall on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose podcast. My latest episode is with Noah Kahn, the singer-songwriter behind the multi-platinum global hit stick season. and one of the biggest voices in music today. Noah opens up about the pressure that followed his rapid success, his struggles with mental health and body image, and the fear of starting again after such a defining moment in his career. It's easy to look at somebody and be like,

your life must be so sick. Man, you have no clue. Talking about the mental illness stuff, it used to be this thing that I was ashamed of. I'm just now trying to unwind this idea that I have to be unhealthy physically or in pain in some emotional way in my life to create. good music. If someone says that I did a good job, I'm like, yeah, I'm good. Someone says that I suck. I'm like, I suck. Getting to talk about this is not common for me. Right now, I need it more than ever.

Listen to On Purpose with Jay Chetty on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lori Siegel, and I'm mostly human. I go beyond the headlines with the people building our future. This week, an interview with one of the most influential figures in Silicon Silicon Valley, Open AI CEO Sam Altman. I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to products we put out in the world. From power to parenthood. Kids, teenagers, I think they won't need a lot of guardrails around AI.

This is such a powerful and such a new thing. From addiction to acceleration. The world we live in is a competitive world. And I don't think that's going to stop, even if you did a lot of redistribution. You know, we have a deep desire to excel and be competitive and gain status and be useful to others and it's a multiplayer game. What does the man who has extraordinary influence over our lives have to say about the weight of that responsibility?

Find out on Mostly Human. My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI. Listen to Mostly Human on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Do you think you're raising your kids? This is something I struggled with. How do you teach your kids the really important? important lessons that you want them to learn about life. How do you do that?

By being a role model to them. Like, I truly feel like I could tell my kids, you know, make sure you take care of yourself, make sure you speak to this person this way. But if you're not doing that yourself, then I don't think that it's going to, you know, soak in with your kids. Like, I truly, in every situation around my kids, try to be what I would want them to be. I don't know if that makes sense. And my son especially, who he's, he's, He's a little edgy. Like he's he's rambunctious. And he has a tendency to go towards kind of like he's edgy.

That's all I'm going to say. I don't know. I don't know what edgy means. I'm not trying to dig. I just don't. No, he's edgy. He's like he'll push boundaries with you. Oh, got you.

Like he'll like he's a kind person. He will never, you know, he's a very kind person. But he likes to, he likes to live on the edge. So for him, you know, like, and I always tell J.P. what's important to me is that he is obviously a good person cares for people, but that he is a gentleman and cares about his mom and cares about the women in his life. So his sister, he has to take great care of his sister and his future significant other if he ever decides to do that. And I always tell JP like how you speak to me.

Like he's watching you. You know, our kids are watching us. So, you know, we talk about that a lot. So we just try to be, you know, the best people we can be. We're not perfect. No, but again, I mean, the thing that you're saying, Ashley, is I just, I was just saying this on another podcast. She was asking me about advice for mothering.

And I said, your children are not going to listen to what you say. They're going to watch what you do. And so if you want to be the good role model, don't tell them what to do, show them what to do. And you are 42 years old. And it is amazing to me. Maybe I'm just out of touch. but you couldn't be more right.

I mean, that is exactly. And you're doing it. You're doing it. So they're turning out pretty good. So far, so good. I mean, to be fair, Ashley, they have not hit the teen years yet. We're going to, in two more years, I'm going to ask you how things are going. You might have a different answer.

Right, right, right. For sure. But, you know, that's part of raising teenagers. I mean, that's their fight for independence. That's just a normal stage, too. Yeah, I'm living this age right now. It's like they're, they're independent, they're curious, they're fun, they're funny. They have their own personalities.

But they're not living, like they're not going out on their own, right? It's like, that's a whole different worry that I'm not ready for. Well, the good news is, you know, you do have a few more years before you have to worry about that. But I actually, you know, I actually did watch your season. It was a long time ago, but I watched it. And I think that this is just another example. you and your divorce, you're moving on, your relationship with JP and your kids,

you are such a good role model for Bachelorette, that what life, you know, what starts as a reality TV show for you turned into a real life marriage, a real life. Now you're building your chapter two. And I think that message is just as important as the fairy tale we met on TV and fell in love and got married. I love that you are building a strong life for yourself and that you still have a great family unit and great kids and a great relationship with JP. That is to be commended. Thank you so much. You're so sweet. I really have enjoyed chatting with you. And I kind of wish that I had had this conversation when I was raising my kids. But alas and a lack, I'm now a

grandmother and now I just have to, you know, hope to do better myself, you know, do better for with my grandkids. One last question. I need some advice because I struggle sometimes. Okay. Let's hear it. How do you work? Because I, you know, I have these kids and I have issues with adult kids and my life is somewhat complicated like many people. How do you work on what is the best thing I can do, loving yourself. What advice do you give for someone to, aside from taking time for yourself, what is the self-talk? That's a good question. You know what I have to do sometimes? I have to think of myself. I have to think of myself as someone else when I think back. Like, I think of myself as my daughter a lot. And I say, because I'm hard on myself, right? Like,

did I do this right? Did I do this the right way? And when I look back on my life and I think of me as someone else and all the things that that person has accomplished, I think to myself, wow, like they did it. Like they overcame this. They did this. They created this. They were so successful with this. And then I can really just say, hey, Ashley, good job.

Like it's almost like it's foreign for me to look at myself and say, wow, Ashley, you did it. Like you did a great job, Ashley. But sometimes I look at myself as if I was my daughter. and that helps me kind of shift and allow myself to give credit to myself. Like, you did this. You're a badass. Like, good for you. And I don't know why I'm like that.

But, yeah, often thinking of myself as someone else has really helps me give the credit that I probably deserve. I actually love that idea. I'm going to try that because I think sometimes if you take yourself out, whether it's pretending your daughter, your daughter or just taking yourself out in like three faces of Eve, you know, talking to somebody else that's right there. across the room, your alter ego, whatever, saying, congratulating yourself, patting yourself on the back, sometimes it's the most affirming. I've never thought of it that way.

Yeah. Or sometimes I think of myself as like a young kid because I grew up in a really small town, like in the middle of nowhere and I always knew I wanted to get out. And I always knew I wanted to, I dreamed so big. Like I almost had this faith in myself that, you know, was like almost unrealistic. But you know what? When you believe in yourself like that and you keep good. going and you like put put it in your mind that you can do it like you can really do it. Yeah. Well, that's that's and you've done it. And that is the self-talk. I love this. I love hearing a woman your age when so many women are fighting like we started this off, you know, going through divorces, going through such our times. You have such a positive outlook.

And I love it. I love hearing it. And I hope that other women who are in trying to figure out, are they going to stick in part one? Are they going to move to part two? What are they? are going to do with their lives. I hope everything you've said today gives them take care of themselves and can build whatever it is they want to build in their life. Wow. Well, thank you. I enjoyed talking to you too, Ashley. I do. I really enjoyed talking to you too, Ashley. I do. I really. It's like a therapy session. And it didn't cost either one of us a dime. I know. And we're not just checking a box, by the way. We are not checking boxes. Well, listen, do you need some advice on how to navigate dating in Chapter 2?

Call us or email us. All the info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials and make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do part two and IHeart podcast where falling in love is the main objective. What happened in City Hall? Somebody tell me that. A shocking public murder. This is one of the most dramatic events.

that really ever happened in New York City politics. I scream, get down, get down. Those are shots. A tragedy that's now forgotten. And a mystery that may or may not have been political. That may have been about sex. Listen to Rorschach, murder at City Hall on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Lori Siegel, and this is mostly human, a tech podcast through a human lens. This week, an interview with OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.

I think society is going to decide that creators of AI products bear a tremendous amount of responsibility to the products we put out in the world. An in-depth conversation with a man who's shaping our future. My highest order bit is to not destroy the world with AI. Listen to mostly human on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose podcast. My latest episode is with Noah Kahn, the singer-songwriter behind the multi-platinum global hit stick season. I'm one of the biggest voices in music today. Talking about the mental illness stuff,

it used to be this thing that I was ashamed of. Getting the talk about this is not common for me. Right now, I need it more than ever. Listen to On Purpose with Jay Chetty on the IHartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Nora Jones, and my podcast playing along is back

with more of my favorite musicians. Check out my newest episode with Josh Grobin. You related to the Phantom at that point. I was definitely the phantom in that. That's so funny. Share each day with me each night, each morning. Listen to Nora Jones is playing along on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast.

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