The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - When They Go, They Go Fast with Abigail Heringer and Noah Erb

Episode Date: September 28, 2024

Ben and Ashley are catching up with one of our favorite Paradise success stories: Abigail Heringer and Noah Erb! They share all the details from their upcoming wedding, we look back on their early days together on the beach in Paradise, and we get their HONEST reaction to Noah’s brother competing on Jenn’s season of The Bachelorette!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcasts with IHartRadio. Hey guys, welcome to the Almost Famous Podcast. Today we are joined by one of Bachelor Nations happily ever afters. Noah and Abigail are here. They're going to tell us, hopefully, about their wedding next month. and Abigail's new book that's coming out.

And, of course, we're going to try to get some dirt from Noah about his brother, Aaron's stint on The Bachelorette. Hey, guys, welcome. Thanks, guys, for having us. Howdy, howdy. You guys, it's really fun to see the two of you because I do feel like coming out of Paradise, you're one of the last couples that I can vividly remember making it work after paradise. And now that paradise is gone, we don't have a lot of other couples to celebrate.

So I'm really glad that you came here to talk to us. Abigail, you obviously have been working really hard on this new project. And that's where I want to kick it off. You have this incredible book, your memoir coming out. How much time did you put into making this book happen? Yeah. So the deaf girl is about three years in the making. It's just a lot of work that goes into a book that I just didn't really know about going into it. But yeah, it took my mom and I about three years to kind of think about what angle we wanted to do and just putting the words on the pages. And it just came out, I think two weeks ago now. So we just been busy. We did a little book tour and trying to do that while, you know, finishing up planning the wedding was a lot this

month. But I was just really proud of the book. And hopefully it can reach people going through a similar thing that my mom and I went through. That was kind of the biggest goal with the deaf girl. Can you explain how you decided to have your mom's perspective about having a child who is death in the book? Yeah. So during that season, kind of when that was airing, I felt like the questions were pretty split.

I think half of the people were really curious about just my experience of cochlear implant hearing loss. But most of the questions I felt like were actually from parents of little kids. that just got the diagnosis, they are just so lost, so confused, just so many questions, a lot of worries. And so I just thought my mom's perspective would be really valuable in that sense of just hearing from somebody that has been through it. And I guess in a way is on the other end of it. I think just having that kind of support in the book, we just felt like it would be really beneficial for those families. The title is striking, I think, when you read it,

the deaf girl. What made you title this the deaf girl? Because I know you've also talked publicly about how that phrasing or categorization of you maybe for a long time was something that you stayed away from. So why do you call it then the thing that you were most, you know, pushing back on? Yeah, it's a little ironic. But, you know, I think just growing up, I just never really identified as being deaf, it just was the title that I just didn't really, well, partly identify with just because growing up, I always thought the deaf community with the sign language community, and I don't use sign language. And so I just never fully identify with it.

And then combined with just kind of going on the show, I think that was kind of my first case of feeling tokenized, I think, in a sense of just people, you know, referring to me as the deaf girl calling me fragile and all these things and kind of just a lot of stereotypes, around kind of disability and dating. And so when coming up with the title, I definitely wanted something catchy. So I think it did the job there. But I think also with just the goal of, you know, this is a label. But if you open up the book, there's, you know, so much more that goes on behind the label.

And so I just really wanted to encourage people just to, you know, see the title, have questions, and then open it up and realize that, you know, it's so much more than, you know, just the label that other people try to assign to you. Um, Noah, how is it, is there any difference being in a relationship with somebody who is deaf than being a relationship with somebody who is not? None at all. It's totally the same. No, I'm just kidding. There are obviously, uh, there are, there are definitely differences.

Um, and for us, it's interesting because I feel like a lot of stuff, we go out of our way to talk about it. and then it just becomes not a big deal. That's kind of how we approach dating and deafness and all the ins and outs. There's a lot of things I would have never thought about. That's part of what I did like about the book is, you know, I've a background in nursing. I've been around, you know, deaf people before, quote unquote. So I kind of had it all figured out, right? But reading the book is a whole different view of life to me, even with, you know, medical background.

And so, you know, a difference, like a small difference is I have to repeat myself multiple times. That's not something that's normal, I'd say, from a previous relationship. But this person I actually, you know, love so I have no problem repeating myself. But yeah, I'll say the same thing five times over or in the morning. She won't have her cochlear implant on. That's an adjustment. I got to go find her around the house, you know, text her see where she's at. but it's little things like that um that i guess could be seen as an inconvenience but

kind of throughout the day and it's a back and forth they're not that huge i'd say there's like some safety things and some like considerations that i would have never thought because i've never been deaf but it's one of those things that obviously having a book is like a cheat code because i get a glimpse into her life um but it's one of those things that you just kind of slowly, I don't know, adapt to, I guess, without thinking about it. The U.S. Open is here. And on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain, I'm breaking down the players from rising stars to legends chasing history, the predictions, well, we see a first-time winner, and the pressure.

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I know when I wrote my book, my wife read it, and there was just so much that she learned about me by reading it. And stuff I didn't realize that she didn't know. Or maybe just like I forgot to tell her, never thought about telling her, whatever. No, what are some things that stood out to you when you read the book that were new to you after being together for now? How many years? Have you guys dated four three uh three and a half now three and a half so three and a half years together you feel like you know everything but i'm sure there's some stuff that popped up uh i mean most of it honestly it was the the childhood you know everyone everyone thinks they live a very unique life and then you hear about someone else's life you're like okay there are similarities but there's

also some stark differences. So I think a lot of hers was... You said Paradise a little bit, too. You learned some things. Yeah, and my perception of like why I'm on Paradise thinking to myself, okay, this is pretty back, like this is an obvious thing. I say, I love you, you say you love me, we're both happy,

we both like each other. We, you know, get married and live happily ever after. But I never even, until, honestly, until reading the book, I never even thought of how different her experience was than mine. Just the things like me thinking, okay, this chick doesn't want to talk. Whereas her, she's like, okay, I'm trying to figure out who's talking. You're not even facing me. You're drinking a mimosa looking at, you know, a bird talking to me casually.

It's like there's all these things that I never even thought could contribute to her not being, outspoken or whatever, you know, the thought was. So it's kind of like her experience on Paradise made more sense to me. The hardships with her mom's perspective and Rachel and, you know, this was an age without the internet. I kind of just assume everyone's treated well, you know, we all love each other, but that's not the case. You know, I've met so many girls on the book tour that specifically asked about dating and

how hard it's been and you'd think, oh, okay, everyone's. life experience isn't the same as mine. So it's just a lot of different, I guess, lenses that I would have never thought of unless I, like you said, specifically asked her. That's a very nuance or weird thing to specifically ask. So it was kind of cool getting that perspective, but it was, you know, a lot of different perspective that I had never thought of. That's super interesting. Writing a book is always a massive undertaking. And Abigail, I know that this is one that was obviously near and dear to your heart. Did you find it difficult, like remembering some of the ways that you were mistreated

or some of the ways that you felt like an outsider as a child? And then even going on Paradise, remembering that like, I don't want to call it an insecurity maybe, but just like that inner dialogue that you're having where it's like, I don't know if Noah is actually into me because he has his back turn to me and he's not really talking to me. was it hard to relive any of these moments as you put it on paper yeah so i mean definitely like the early childhood stuff that was hard to remember so i think that's why having my mom's perspective was really valuable and bringing her in and then with like the show in paradise i think both of

those were difficult but i think much needed to work through because i think i just always felt like how I acted on the shows in the sense of just having kind of that inner dialogue and feeling of like, you know, I didn't fully enjoy that experience. You know, why is that? Or why did I react that way when Matt or Noah did those things and just unpacking a lot of that? And I think just even past my disability, I think it was just a lot of like dating tendencies as well and just trying to figure out, okay, I'm feeling a certain way about this. But it's like therapy. It's like, okay, I got a work through it. I got to unpack all the layers and really died deep and try to figure out, okay,

why did I respond that way or why was I feeling that way in the underlying issue? And so that was something I've never really had to do before. I think the show was the first time I really ever had to, like, talk about my feelings out loud. So there's that element. And then writing a book alone, having to do that on a different magnitude, it was really uncomfortable at first but I'm really proud that I did it but that was definitely one of I think the uncomfortable moments was just laying all of that out there and just kind of like people digest it however they want to and their perspectives on it but so far it's been it's been good

I've only gone kind feedback so that's good I will say it has been cool to watch it go from which I didn't really know she was intent on writing a book until I started to to see, you know, she's done so many meetings with her mom, who's this other lady. I should probably ask questions. So it's cool to see it transformed from, you know, a passion project, getting the story out with her mom's perspective, to seeing a little bit of the reaction from the deaf community, the non-deaf community people.

And it taking on its whole kind of own thing when all of it started was try to like figure out what her life story was with her mom. get it out there for people. So it has been really cool to see it take its own sort of form, whatever that is, you know, who knows, but it has been cool to see. That's super fun. Getting off the topic a little bit and still talking about Paradise,

you guys are one of quite a bit of couples who have come off Paradise and ended up getting engaged off the show and you're getting married to next month. now that we're a little bit removed from it can you guys let us in a little bit on how the breakup went down on paradise like was it really legit because like we're all you know we get it here sometimes they're like well if you can propose to her tomorrow then you better break up with her today I so that was like the number one question we got even in person when people would like come up to us after Paradise, they were like, is the breakup real?

And yes, the breakup was very real. Like, that was a big shot to me. I really thought we were going to leave Paradise together. And it was one of those things when writing the book when I went back and obviously watching the show back, I was like, okay, I really shouldn't. I've been that surprised that it was coming. And I think for a few reasons. So I think the biggest one is we told producers from day one that we were not going to get

engaged on the show. That was just something. Yeah. I think that was just something that we had talked about because we had the first date and that was something that we had talked about, you know, kind of what your goal of paradise is. And we were taking it seriously. But I just think the idea of an engagement after two weeks really scared us. And so we just said, we're just going to take that pressure off. We're just going to get to know each other. So I don't know if maybe that was like an angle that the producers maybe saw with us. And then just a lack of communication. I mean, you guys saw he said, I love you. I'm, kind of misheard of Slash, didn't think he intended to say it because we had a conversation saying that we weren't going to feel rushed to say, I love you. Again, taking things slow and he said it, I'd left field. So it was just so many, like, things that we just could not be on the same page about. And I think a bit part of that was the show's timing of everything.

Like, it's just like, okay, this is the week of I love you. this is that we have fantasy suites and i think we just we're not going to rush to say i love you got it yeah we just really struggled i think to keep up with that timeline while trying to figure out okay do we really like each other is the elements of paradise and so all of it was very real but i think that's why it was really easy for us to reconnect afterwards and i think people get hung up on that of you know saying he said that you were his person how can you get back together with him and part of me it's like the thing is it's the show's elements like you we might not be each other's people on the show in that element it is really hard to find somebody that you match up perfectly with

in that environment you know it works for some couples but it didn't work for us and but i think once you take away the show element it was really easy for us to get back together so yeah that's kind of if that answers the question for me it was no it was definitely real I get made fun of because I like would disappear to the beach and walk around and I think it was actually Becca I had a good conversation with Becca

I was out there journaling and she's like dude what am I doing here and I'm like dude I feel you and I was so perplexed because I had this little inkling of there's something special but it was like always

so like so close and then not quite and it was so close and then not quite so for like the i love you um in real life if i said i love you and the girl was just kind of like yeah that would be kind of like okay what was that so that for me was like the final things weren't working out but i wanted them to so it got to a point where it was like is it me forcing like am i forcing this just because i have a little feeling and then you have the show element, the producers, and she was slow, and I was pretty gung-ho. So once I made the decision, like, all right, this is not it.

I don't care if I look bad. I just need to get it out and go home. Like, that's kind of the point that I got to, where it's like there's no going back at that point. I was just so done with kind of everything. I was just tired, you know? We were all so tired. I wanted to work out, but it's not working out.

so for after the show it was easy because I'm like this I can totally control you know we went out to a cabin in Oregon with no cell phone service and it's just us and if we can't get along just us and it's like that's a pretty good answer there's nobody to blame you know for that so after it was perfect because it was just like all right what was that is there still any feeling here let's figure it out but at the time it's just the emotions were so high but they were at different places that it just didn't match up what was that conversation like when you decided to go to the cabin so yeah where you at you want to go in the woods no it was a little bit more classy than that he texted me when we were flying out so we also had to stay an extra day I think just to film some follow-up interviews and stuff so I actually didn't fly until two days after the breakup and he sent me a text at the airport, I think just a very neutral text. I'm so sorry that it had to play out that way, blah, blah, blah. But, you know, I was feeling a certain type of things. And of course, I'm calling him out. And he just said, can we have a phone call and just kind of hash things out?

So we did a long phone call when I landed in New York because I was living there at the time. And then kind of texted a little bit for a few days, but there was just no, oh, we're about together. It was kind of like a situation ship at that point. I was like, I can't do that. When the show's about the air, you break up with me. Like, that's just taking me back. And I was, I was thinking that, but I'm like, I want to see, like, I just want to see what's there. But I can't fully commit to this after.

Because if I say you're not my person, and then the following week I get back with you. And then we break up also. It's like, okay, bro, what are you doing? This is no control. I said, we can't talk anymore. Like, we just need to take space kind of thing. I think we took two days, and he texted me and said, I want to fly out. I want to come see you.

I want to see if we can make this work. And I said, Bet, and he came out to Oregon. And it was just a really good trip. Like, I think that's just like what we needed was just two people, no producers, no agenda, just are we compatible? And we were. Start with the basics. No, I love it. That's all you have to do is not talk to him for a few days.

then I'll call you. Like, I must see you. Now you're definitely compatible. You do have a wedding coming up. This is a really, really exciting thing to talk about because I think Bachelor Nation has been eagerly awaiting the day to your wedding. Now, 90 people have been invited. And this is where my curiosity spikes.

How, because I just remember this time when I was getting married. How did you get? guys decide on 90 people and how in the world are you telling people or they're not getting the invite you're not even telling them they're just not getting invite how did you kind of filter it down i actually called people and told them they weren't getting invited wow whoa whoa whoa are you serious thank you for that juicy headline wait no that i think that is an incredible how many people were at your wedding he had 400 because he couldn't say no to anyone i had 180 Okay, that's a good in between.

That's what our conversation was, because I'm from Tulsa. Yeah. And my whole family's from here, and she's got friends here. So it was like, okay, if we do just all the bros and all of our friends, it's like, it's going to be 500 people. And we'd like to do people that we've actually spent time with in the last, both of us in the last three years. So we definitely wanted a smaller wedding, but he's one of. 10 11 siblings so his family alone is already doing this thing with just spouses no yeah yeah so the smallest that we could get it would be 50 and that would just be family of course we wanted our

friends there so we got it to 90 so that was as small as we could keep it while getting everyone that we have spent a lot of time together and that was the requirement we said people can't come to know any if they haven't met both of us so we're not doing plus ones we're not in buying I like that, cousin or, you know, anything like that. We're not meeting people for the first time on our wedding day. What's that Billy Elish, bad guy song? That's kind of what it was. It was like, okay, unless we know them, it's going to be a lot of awkward conversations of me.

I did. I called some of my friends and basically said, yo, love you. You're not invited, but I love you. Let's hang out soon. Which she thought was weird. I thought it was necessary. It's just we made a hard cut off to where it's like, okay. I hope we it's our wedding so that's all we care about is our wedding I hope it's not such a big deal

that people aren't invited that we're not friends that's kind of weird but it's going to be under 100 people regardless but I don't think we know 400 people so I don't know how you got 400 people that has he has a lot of connections in life it spreads quick you know it does did you talk to everybody at your wedding when there's 400 people I did we did I think talk to every single person which made it absolutely exhausting. I actually find it incredibly admirable of you to call up the people that weren't being invited. Thank you. That's what I was hoping they would think. Yeah. I think it is great. And I like your rule that is like if we haven't seen you in three years, you're not obviously invited. And what I did is yeah, we had of course like people there

that I had never met before from Jared's side. But we were just like, I'm not meeting anyone the first time. So I'm going to say hi to my people. You're going to say how to yours, but I'm not going to like, I'm not going over to your side. Your side. Yeah. Goodness. That's how we had the room split up like my friends and family, his friends and family. And it was like, I'm not going to waste time saying hello to people that I've never met or met like once or twice. Well, I would waste time talking to people that my husband loves. No, you know, like obviously his family and people he cares about and friends that I have met before and love, but not the people like. Not his cousins that he really doesn't.

Yeah. Actually. He just hasn't met. I would have loved us all to have hung out more before, but it's like, okay. Yeah. But what about Bachelor Nation? So there are some Bachelor Nation people who made the cut. It was easy for them to meet you in the last three and a half years because some of them were on the same show when you met.

So how did you decide from Bachelor Nation who was coming and who wouldn't be? I mean, it's kind of the same requirement, which is whoever we have maintained a relationship with post-filming. I think we have a lot of friends in Fasto Nation, but I think it's only a smaller group that we've seen consistently outside of just events. Like our own trips with just us. We have some guys from my season, Ivan, DeMar, Blake, Zach. I maintain pretty close with them. Joe's coming because Serena We like Serena a lot

Yeah We don't like Joe though But he's a good plus one Great time Because I just saw Joe and Serena And they're like Oh we have Abigail Noah's wedding next

And so for you to delay Just in naming Joe on your list Right there was really funny Because I actually believe that Noah thinks of him as a plus one That he's met before Yeah Yeah

I like that. We actually went to Mexico with them, and it was a lot of fun. We do love them. So it's the same criteria. Thomas and Becca, we got to spend a lot of time with them when we lived in San Diego, and we have like a pact, a babysitting pact for when we have kids. So we're excited. We're excited.

It's going to be a good group. And I always love a little Joe Raz because he deserves it. And he can handle it. and he handles it very hilariously. Now, to transition completely to kind of that wedding day, Noah, how much involvement have you had in the planning process before I ask these questions? I'm a smart man and I got a wedding planner.

I'm in the group chat. I've done all the meetings, but you know, I don't care about the color of the flowers. So we have a lot of meetings. I'll pop in for the things that I care about, which is music, good food, and I wanted to make sure we had lemon and cucumber water. Let's go. That's nice.

I like that. The rest of it's kind of like I chime in on the details. Like, oh, yeah. Sounds good. Okay. Because it was 90 people, were you guys able to put it together relatively quickly? Because I remember Abigail, it was like, I feel like the spring that you said on Instagram, that you were like, oh, we don't have a date.

We haven't really started planning it. all of a sudden, you got to. Yeah, so we actually didn't start planning, I want to say, until spring. It was one of those things. We got engaged and then we started working on our house. And so we just kind of kept putting it off because the home projects and everything, we said, when the house is done, we'll get married. And then spring rolled around, we were like, okay, this house is nowhere close to being done. The house will never be done. The house will never be done. Okay, let's play on the wedding. Let's take a break. And with 90 people, it was easier just because we are communicating with those people a lot more than I think like an extended guest list. So I think just figuring out who can

come, who can, um, getting them in Oklahoma too. I feel like it's easier than like California. Like vendors aren't booked crazy far into bands. Like there's just a lot more vendors. It's not as competitive, I guess. Um, so we were able to book everything that we wanted. And then also just having a really good wedding planner definitely helped us a lot. There's a common theme that I'm learning with us is things don't go, but when they go, they go fast. Yeah, that's how you guys operate. Apparently. Yeah.

So, wedding 20 was quiff, but it was a lot. So that's why we're just so ready for the wedding to be here. And like, we are just not planners. We don't enjoy planning. So it's definitely been outside of our comfort zone planning a wedding. But we're very excited for it. But just, yeah. Soak up the day.

I can't say I was like absolutely ecstatic for the wedding. day because I was more anxious about the event. But it was, it will go down as one of the most fun days I've ever had. And so make it fun. It's kind of a night that you don't get judged because it's your day. You can do whatever you want. And so we just went all out. It was great. I hope this wedding is something that you two look back on with a big old smile. But obviously, you guys are already smiling because your relationship's in such a good place. So I hope to not ruin anything in your relationship with this question. But I want to shoot it to Abigail. First, Abigail, you heard or you knew that Noah's brother was going to be going on

the Bachelorette this year. You know his brother, obviously fairly well. There's a lot of them. I don't know how you know them all. Were you confident that he was going to show up and show out well? Or were you nervous about how he was going to be on the show, knowing him before the show started? I'm trying to start some family jobber right before the wet. No, I said I'm not, I have no interest in that. But if you do, that's good for our podcast, so I don't mind it either. Yeah. So with Aaron, when he said he was going on the show, I was really excited for him.

And I thought he would do really well on it. Just I think he's a good looking guy. He's very charismatic. And I think he, out of the three of us, I think is the most open. in terms of having kind of those deep conversations, like moving quickly doesn't scare him. I think just some of the elements of the show, I think can be off-putting for people,

like being proposed at the end, the timeline, everything. I was like, no, I think he can handle all of that and handle it really well. Watching it back, I think there were things that we didn't really expect from him. He was pretty tight-lifted when he came home. And so I was thinking, you know, he probably just had an average experience.

Maybe just didn't hit it off with her super well. And then watching it back and seeing his storyline and everything, I was not expecting it. I was not expecting it. But I think he ended up being right at the end of the day. But I think to this day, we still don't really know what Devin did in the house that turned all the guys off from him. We still don't know that. but he ended up being right so I guess he knew something that we did it he's got a thought that's interesting that you say that I haven't thought of it that way revisionist history is

interesting when at the time we're like hey he's just being a jerk to devon and then the show gets done we see the behaviors of devon here as of recent and we go well maybe he was trying to tell us something or maybe he was pointing at something that we just didn't know at the time as viewers he definitely got vibes he was probably pretty intuitive about him yeah but it's interesting that people aren't going hey maybe we should reconsider

Aaron is Aaron is though he is out there saying I'm right I'm right oh yeah so he's out there saying he's right he's validating himself does he feel validated at this point like does it feel like he is being validated

or is it kind of now just a lost cause I think he definitely feels very validated I think it's one of those things like we were talking about. He probably wishes that he got that validation when the show was aired or when he was on the show and you know, Devin

do something to piss Jen off and she sends him home but I think he's happy that he's validated but I don't think he's happy at how it ultimately went down. I mean, just the stuff that Devin did post show and the things that have come out about him, I just think that's a whole other ballpark

and Aaron's not rooting for that. He's not saying yes, like he did all that like I win kind of thing. I think it's more just I knew something was off about that guy and I feel very validated and knowing that it was that off if that makes sense. I had a little bit of the same because I did not have any love,

no love for Noah for the first week or two when it started airing. For Noah? Noah, me. For you? Yeah. I remember that. You mean on your bachelorette season?

When I was on and then my, I had the privilege for it to turn mid-season and then like, oh, okay, this whole Noah Bennett thing, here's what we're seeing. So I actually, mine was a different situation, whereas Aaron's, it's like, now the show's done and now he's trying to focus on, you know, the military and everything to where it's like, it's after the fact it would have been great then or to use then, you know, or anything like that to maybe get him out and get more time with Jen sort of thing. and it was after the fact.

So now it's like he's definitely feeling vindicated for it, but it only stirs up more. Because Jen's ended up being the most hurt from it because Devin ended up being, you know, completely different than she thought. But it would have been nice, I think, he thought, to have during the show. But I'm sure he's not mad after the fact.

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Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes.

Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeart Radio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers, the pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this, do this, pull that, turn this.

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runway. I'm looking at this thing. Listen to no such thing on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Your entire identity. entity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Secrets. With over 37 million downloads, We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you,

stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told. I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. podcasts. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance, bro, tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do

feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates, I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online. looking for some online lenders because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets. I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt and it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand.

Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it. And in fact, it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast. So on your season, they had you. I'm just going to say maybe the producers lightly suggested that you should hand Bennett a book. Or was it? No, it was Bennett handed you a book.

Yeah, Bennett handed you a book about emotional intelligence. Was that correct? And then, because that was like his thing. He was so intelligent. and then on this season we know that it was a producer move that they had Aaron give Devin a book because we know the book was actually fake

like they literally had him give a fake book because the sluice out there we got to the bottom of it we did because there's Bachelor slews that said that this book didn't exist okay tell us everything The Four Pillars book Self-help book

All right, four agreements, sorry, four agreements. Oh, I know the four agreements, yeah. That's what it was. So it's part of that book or? Is that book? Different. They put a different cover on it because they didn't. Ah.

Well, thanks for bringing light to the situation. That makes sense. We brought light. So Aaron is actually trying to give Devin the four agreements. Okay. And they don't have the rights to it, just like a painting. They have to cover up on. the show they can't get the rights it's too expensive and so they covered up and do it that way yeah

that makes sense okay okay okay so um was there a conversation was like oh your brother had this book handed to him now like you should hand it over to somebody else type i think Aaron and I are similar to where when I was on I was like okay I'm not going to go look for trouble but I'm sure is heck not going to back down if it comes my way okay so that's me yeah I understand And so for me, I wasn't going to go out of my way to give something to Bennett. But if Bennett felt the nerve to do something, then sure. I think it was a similar situation to where Aaron, he's not going to not do something. If somebody comes at him sideways, I think I know him pretty well enough to where it's the perfect candidate for that to happen.

But I really don't think he was put it two and two together that Noah had given a book until after that. and then watching it play out that way. The producers are sitting there being like, yes. Yes, this is so. In the moment, he's more like, all right, how do I, like, I don't want to look like a dick here, but this guy's interrupting, you know, with ice cream. And then it was kind of like, okay, what do I do?

Then you hear people like, dude, he has no awareness. Give him a book. And he's like, dude, give him a book. Yeah. I really don't think he was thinking, oh, play on. This is going to be a nice. Yeah, okay. So he wasn't aware.

I would, to be, I didn't remember. I didn't remember that scene of you guys until it was brought to my attention that a similar thing had happened with you. Ben did remember. You remembered right off the bat. I think I told you. You did. I was like, wow, Ben.

That's some impressive. That was a bizarre situation. If you saw yourself in that situation, that's a bizarre situation. It's a very weird situation. Speaking of weird situations, is Bennett invited to the wedding? I have no hate for Bennett because I see I see senior Benet has a baby now so I still he still chirps I'll get comments and I'll chirp back but I have no hate for he's not invited no okay okay well your brother is a prime candidate for paradise and it's coming

back so what's the encouragement level there and like how would you prep them So the timing would have to be like just perfect because he is doing his military stuff and it's around the time of Paradise. If he gets the opportunity, I am team Aaron going on Paradise. I think he can handle all the elements of Paradise really well. And I think he really wants to meet his person and it works for us. So I'm definitely team do Paradise if the opportunity works out. Yeah, I'd say fly S-16.

go to paradise if it was held up next to each other he should fly up 16s because also you left the show because you said that so it's like stick with that but if the timing was nice I would love to see a similar I liked paradise because you can be your own villain if you want you can choose one girl to kick it off and if you say you're going to stay with her stay with her you can bounce around, but you can kind of make what you want. There's more options. There's more guys and stuff like that. So I think if the timing was nice, I would love to see Aaron go on Paradise because he, I think he would have a lot of fun. And I think he would get a different, you'd get a different view of him, which is way less serious and way less book-givy.

Dating is shredded. So it's like, okay, fine. Yeah. He should, he should go on the beach. Anybody has a six-pack, I always just say, go on the beach. Like, if anything else, just get your moment. Yeah, get your moment. Take it. Speaking of books, to close out here. Kevin doesn't have a six pack. We do have a six pack.

What? We do have just a few minutes here with you to turn it back around, Abigail. Why we're here and what we started with is your book. That's out now, the deaf girl. First question, where can people find it? You can find the deaf girl on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Target. And I also did the audiobook. as well, and that's on Audible.

The hardest thing I've ever done was the Audible book. Reading it was awful. It took me so long. It was so frustrating. I don't know if you had that experience. It was harder than writing the book for those like week, the week that I recorded. You should try death. Yeah.

That would add an element. It felt like to be therapy all over again because I do struggle to say certain words correctly. And there were a lot of those words. And so there was a lot of retakes. You should touch on that. One of the things they kept in the audio book is some of the incorrect words or flow. That's not what you would expect from perfect audio book because that is sort of how it is.

I think they were like, okay, you're a deaf. We're not going to be super critical about it. So it's imperfect. Authentic. I like that. Authentic, better word. Authentic. Genuine and authentic.

Final question for you before I threw it back to Ashley. Abigail, when somebody, reads the book, they close the book, what do you hope they get out of the book? I just, the biggest thing I wanted is just to provide comfort and just feeling like you're not alone in this because I think when you kind of read my mom's perspective, she felt very alone at the time. It was such a new thing. She didn't know anybody with her implant, so she didn't really know where to start.

And then kind of my perspective is trying to navigate, you know, all their situations in middle school, high school, college, just show and just feeling like the only person in the world that knows what I'm going through is my sister, because she also has a hearing loss. And so I think just trying to, whoever picks up the book, if they're in a similar situation, just knowing that there are people out there, you know, like me, like other people that have a very shared experience. And that was something that I really appreciated on the book tour was just seeing all the people that have cochlear implants. And it just is like an unspoken language that connects us. We could just talk for hours about all of our shared experiences.

And I kind of forgot how comforting that feels just to know that somebody out there knows exactly what it feels like when you are so tired of listening at the end of the day or how embarrassing it is when your battery dies, you know, it just things like that. So that's kind of the biggest thing I want it with a book. It's just for people to feel like, you know, you have somebody going through the exact same thing. Well, speaking of shared experiences, do you have a friendship with Daisy now? we're acquaintances. I know we connected on social media. I've not actually gotten the chance to meet her in person. But that was one thing I also really appreciated about Daisy sharing her story

and something I always tried to emphasize with hearing loss is it really is a spectrum at the end of the day. Everyone's experience is just so different with it. And I know she has a co-faring plan as well, but she has a very different experience. She lost her hearing later in life and had to figure out I thought it was just another really cool reminder of, you know, you have two people maybe try to label the same, but her story is also really fascinating.

But no, I have not gotten a chance to meet her in person yet. All right, guys. Well, thank you so much for giving us your time, especially at such a busy point of your life. We really appreciate it. And just wishing you the best wedding day of all time. Thank you.

Thanks for having this. Appreciate you guys. Thank you guys. And Abby, Ben, thank you for getting my name right this time. What I do last time? What did you do last time? You did an interview with Nate and Michelle right before. That makes sense.

And that left a bad taste in your mouth. Noah, I'm sorry. I apologize. And this is the new start to bring it up. This is the new start to something special. Noah and Abigail, again, you can get the deaf girl, pretty much wherever you can get books. But Barnes & Noble, you said Amazon,

and the third one you said Target. The Deaf Girl's out now. Make sure you go check it out. Appreciate you both. Thanks for coming on. Thanks guys. Bye. Follow the Ben and Ashley I,

almost famous podcast on IHartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Let's start with a quick puzzle. The answer is Ken Jennings' appearance on The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs. The question is, what is the most entertaining listening experience in podcast land? Jeopardy-truthers believe in... I guess they would be conspiracy theorists.

That's right. To give you the answers, and you still blew it. The Puzzler, listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD...

Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. happens all the time to people just like you. And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc and I'm

Megan Elizabeth. We're the host of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Your entire identity has been fabricated. mother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness. I'm Danny Shapiro, and these are just a few of the powerful stories I'll be mining on our upcoming 12th season of Family Secrets.

We continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? Answer, a new podcast called Wisecrack, where a comedian finds himself at the center of a chilling true crime story. Does anyone know what show they've come to see? It's a story. It's about the scariest night of my life.

This is Wisecrack, available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an IHeart podcast. Thank you.